You’ve seen our brilliant (and scientific!) prediction for the East (if you haven’t, get thee to Part 1), now on to the West!
WESTERN CONFERENCE FINAL:
Red Wings (1) vs. Ducks (2)
Goaltending: Dominik Hasek should have retired years ago, taking his glass groin with him; sure he can still play, and can still win, but frankly we tire of him and his dorky old-style helmet. He set the bar high for himself our first season when he pulled himself from a big playoff start, spent the game standing next to the coaches on the bench in street clothes, attacked a reporter after the game, and then had his teammates literally stand behind him in a press conference the next day. Unless he’s going to offer antics like that (minus the attacking Jim Kelly; he may have made some crazy comments about Marty Brodeur this post-season, but we don’t wish him harm), he should take his bad stick-handling and insatiable hunger for diving into retirement. J.S Giguere stole Marty’s Conn Smythe in 2003, despite Marty setting a post-season record for shut-outs. He won, presumably, because is a god. Or at least, more than a mere mortal. Or so says Gary Thorne (he once called a big stop by shouting, “I defy you to tell me he’s human!” Dear Gary, He’s Human. Signed, Pookie and Schnookie.) Also, based on attending a Ducks practice several years ago (long story), we can confidently report that St. Jiggy can’t skate to save his life. Dude needed someone to push him around the rink during skating drills. Advantage: Ducks. But it’s a close call. Marty really deserved that Conn Smythe.