Before we launch into the diary for tonight’s game, it should be pointed out that Pookie scored what Schnookie thinks was the best line of this series almost immediately after the end of Game 3. We flipped over to nhl.com, where we spotted the headline, “Pronger Has Forgettable Game” and Pookie snorted, “Forgettable for who? McAmmond?” It is an honor and a thrill to get to work with such a genius.
NBC leads into the broadcast with, not surprisingly, a discussion of the Pronger suspension. The film skips just as we see a slo-mo replay of McAmmond falling to the ice, and Bill Clement’s voice echoes frighteningly. We can only assume they’re trying to give us a sense of what McAmmond was hearing immediately after that hit. The conversation naturally turns towards Brian Burke’s justified complaint that Chris Neil should have been suspended as well for his flying elbow/crosscheck/charge on McDonald, and NBC gives Neil a chance to try to clear his, uh, “good name” in a little interview. Pierre Maguire asks Neil, that big bitch (TM Margee), why he called Pronger is “a backstabber” (among other things) and we chorus what should have been his answer: “Because I’m a fucktard.”
What is going on with Brett Hull? How can it be that he keeps making coherent points? His conclusion when asked whether Pronger and/or Neil should have been suspended is that he thought neither hit was that venal (we disagree), but that based on Pronger getting a game, Neil should have too. Color us shocked, but kudos to Hull.
Well, as if we didn’t hate them enough already, Doc further builds on our loathing of the Senators by saying Neil, that big bitch, is “the face of this franchise” after his performance in Game 3.
Alanis is, as advertised, singing the anthems. The players look as stunned and horrified as we are. Look, just because you’ve got thousands of people singing along, Alanis, doesn’t mean you need to pace “O Canada” like a dirge. Oof. That was awful.
FIRST PERIOD
Doc must be reading IPB because he makes a deliberate point of enunciating the Luggage Express phone number so it can’t be mistaken for 1-800-SHIT-BAGS
19:39 We are paying enough attention to the lineup notes from NBC on top of the screen to note Motzko’s in tonight! MotzkoNation rejoices.
19:02 MotzkoNation’s joy is tempered considerably by a penalty to Beauchemin for standing near Neil when Neil fell over and tried to make it look like he was slashed or speared. Say it with us, Senators fans — Klassy! That’s the kind of guy you can really cheer for.
18:23 Nieder is as tired of the stupid fucking Neil story and puts together an encouraging shorthanded rush. (Doc takes the time after the puck is frozen to point out that 9 dives have been called thus far in the playoffs. One of them, we’d like to state here, was on Travis Zajac for losing an edge on a breakaway. Where is the karmic justice for this? Come on, Hockey Gods.)
17:50 Emery has handled the puck twice so far and has looked shaky both times. Would it kill the Ducks to try throwing all kinds of shit at him? Really?
16:32 Giggy gets his first sinking realization that he is going to have to play a lot better tonight than he did in Game 3. Jackman softly turns the puck over to Alfredsson behind the net and Giggy ends up having to make a save from a point-blank shot from directly outside the crease.
16:06 Pookie: “And playing the roll of Chris Pronger tonight: Corey Perry.” Obviously feeling the need to up the “stupid, stupid idiot” factor for his team with the big man out, Perry steps up to the plate with a deliberate, obvious, unnecessary cross check to the back of Neil’s head. Wouldn’t it be much more frustrating and effective a tactic against him to just ignore him.
15:10 Well, there’s the even-up for the penalty on Beauchemin… Pahlsson clearly tosses the puck over the glass but no delay of game is called.
14:11 Giggy comes up HUGE as the Senators get what seems like a thousand rapid-fire shots from in close.
13:46 See, Ducks? Just let him wind himself up and he’ll take himself out of the game. Neil takes a goaltender interference penalty (although Eddie tries to tell us McDonald hit him into Giggy).
13:00 Pierre reports from between the benches that his concern about the Ducks is “their depth on defense” what with Pronger being out. What, did they not dress a d-man in his place?
12:23 Pookie offers a $10 bet that the Ducks will score but have the goal disallowed because it was kicked in. She gets no takers.
11:28 Heatley completely blows — how does he not score on a gorgeous feed to him right in front of Giggy? (The play was so wide open for the Sens because Huskins fell over while backing into the zone. If he’d been a Senator a Duck would have been called for slashing.)
10:14 We don’t like that Baby CrunchyPickles didn’t get back in the lineup with Kunitz out. He was the galvanizing factor in Game 1! Come on, Carlyle. Do you not want to win?
9:26 Teemu’s line has a bumblingly bad offensive shift. We don’t think that would have happened if Baby CrunchyPickles had been out there with them.
8:40 Okay, we understand that there might be some confusion on the blue line for the Ducks with Pronger out, but is it impossible for the guys actually skating to at least communicate with Giggy? Both d-men back off as Giggy goes to tap a puck out of the trapezoid into the corner and it turns into a picture-perfect pass to the little bitch, Comrie.
8:32 Psst, Ducks, here’s a tip: Emery can’t handle the puck. Now try taking advantage, okay? (Anaheim gets a way better chance than they really should have on a bad-angle rebound that he mishandles, then barely manages to cover as he goes down early to compensate.)
7:09 Perry just barely misses high on a 2-on-1 then bowls over Emery (apparently cleanly) on his way through the crease, but the Ducks are not able to jump on the loose puck in front. (Replay shows that puck just rang off the inside of the crossbar. Gah!)
6:25 Eaves runs into a Duck at the boards after an offsides whistle. Pookie shouts, “Backstabber!” Pause. “Because according to Neil, anyone who does anything after the whistle is a backstabber.” This prompts Boomer to giggle that Neil is all pissed that Pronger told him he liked him to his face, but then totally went and told someone else when he wasn’t around that he doesn’t like him.
During the stoppage on this Pierre says something from the benches about chalkboards, and Eddie snorts that no one uses chalkboards anymore because they all use whiteboards. Pookie adds for him, “Pierre, you ignorant slut.”
4:27 Pierre describes Fisher’s hit on McDonald thusly: “He put him down faster than a beer at a frat party.” Pierre, we thought that line was stupid in the first round the first time you used it. We expect him to sit there going, “You can quote me on that! Guys, you can quote me. Guys?”
3:15 Getzi’s caboose is way stronger than the Senators defenseman trying to get him off the puck, and he just rolls off the guy while keeping the puck. However, Getzi’s caboose is also smarter than Sean O’Donnell, who is unable to anticipate the obvious pass Getzi taps to him.
2:49 Perry and Eaves get matching bitch-slapping minors in front of the benches.
2:29 Eddie tells us we need to watch Nieder on this 4-on-4; well, if the Ducks looked capable of winning a single battle in this game, maybe that might be the case. But since they’re not, and have had as a result exactly zero puck possession in this period, we wouldn’t worry too much if we were the Senators.
2:18 OH GIGGY! How does he stop that rebound shot there? And was it just us, or did Getzi save the day by clearing out a loose puck from the blue paint?
1:44 Getzi gets a bit overaggressive jostling with Emery, and the refs let themselves be shown up for a second time tonight by the Senators as Emery goes down harder than a beer at a frat party. Eddie is disgusted and thinks there shouldn’t even be matching minors in that kind of situation — he thinks a dive should cancel out even legitimate infractions. We’re just angry enough right now that we’re inclined to agree.
0:01 There is no justice in this world. Schaefer makes a great pass from behind the net to Alfredsson, and he roofs it over Giggy. You know, last year Dwayne Roloson dove his way to the SCF (remember, Gentle Readers? The way his mask popped off every time the puck came near him so he got a whistle? Remember that?), and the Hockey Gods smote him terribly. We can only hope the same happens to Emery.
0:00 Getzi is interviewed at the buzzer by Pierre and he says that late goal stunk. We agree with that. He also says the Ducks played “a good, strong period.” We wonder which game he was watching. The camera is far enough off that we can’t see his teeth. Thank God.
FIRST INTERMISSION
We don’t hear much of anything the studio guys have to say because the blood is rushing too loudly in our ears. During the second segment of the intermission, Hull gets loud enough that we can hear him having an aneurysm about the dives in this game.
Oh for fuck’s sake. They guys are falling all over themselves that Canada’s National Embarrassment, Don Cherry, will be appearing on NBC in the second intermission. (Pookie gives Hullie mad props for his totally random blurting, in re: Don Cherry’s wardrobe, “Drapes for Grapes!” She says, “That was totally his ‘Anybody want a peanut?’ moment.” At the mere mention of Fezzik, our blood pressures all drop considerably.)
We discuss the diving issue further. We like the even-up “two and two” approach to diving, because it’s completely legit that a penalty could be incurred along with an embellishment. But we think for one full year (they would go back to the “two and two” system after one season) the League should go with Eddie’s suggestion of negating the original call if the victim embellishes, but they should go further with it. After two diving calls go on a guy’s record, the next time he does it he should get a major and a game. And there should be an automatic $10,000 fine. And perhaps public hangings. Pookie’s all for this because it means she’d never have to see Derek Roy again.
SECOND PERIOD
19:45 The Ducks pick up right where they left off, and May decides to make a fancy pass deep in the offensive zone rather than shooting.
18:25 Because we’d gone a fair stretch without hearing about Neil, NBC decides to catch us back up with the Face Of The Senators. In case we were softening a little.
17:10 It looks like McDonald clearly put the puck into a wide-open net, but apparently it didn’t go in. Hilariously, on the ensuing scramble, Emery gets knocked over and there is really blatantly no call on it. HA! (Replay shows McDonald smacked an on-end puck right into the crossbar.)
15:31 After the umpteenth consecutive sequence where Emery looks awful on the puck, Neil, that big bitch, hilariously takes a stupid, stupid idiot penalty for “interference”. The kind of interference where you hit a guy in the face with your gloves and stick.
14:29 We are displeased with the Ducks PP (what a surprise). Pookie shouts, “Get the puck to Getzi’s caboose!” Schnookie channels Quiz Show by tacking on, “Getzi’s caboose is ten times the player and ten times the man Chris Neil is.”
13:17 The Ducks PP fades into the fog of history with just, as Doc points out, one shot taken. Schnookie grouses it’s because Getzi opted to pass to Teemu instead of going hard to the net when he had the chance, and Pookie says, “It’s because he’s net-shy now. The officials made him that way.”
12:52 Baby Nieder sucks; he can’t find a way around Emery, who comes way out to confront him.
11:58 We don’t understand McDonald trying to thread an impossible pass through Volchenkov instead of shooting, but May, of all people, salvages something on the play by drawing a hooking penalty off Phillips. And so the wrath of the Ducks power play shall be unleashed again. Wake us when it’s over.
11:01 As Beauchemin is unable to stop a bouncing puck at the point, Pierre ejaculates, “This is where the Ducks miss the steadying influence of Christopher Pronger.” The steadying influence? Seriously??
9:54 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! McDonald gets the puck just at the base of the faceoff dot from Marchant behind the net, and he makes this fantastic, patient play skating across in front of the net, waiting for Emery and both defensemen to panic, and buries the puck. (Pierre, strangely, praises Perry’s “exscapism” on the boards to help set up that play. No, we don’t know what that means either.)
9:12 We will complain here just for consistency’s sake that the “Name That Squirt” was again not a player featured in this game. However, we did like that it was Captain, Our Captain, Scott Stevens. (Our favorite Scott Stevens story is from when we saw him appear on “Mike and the Mad Dog”; he was wearing his underwear and a t-shirt, and about midway through the interview Chris Russo actually stopped mid-sentence and said, “Hey, do you work out?”)
8:55 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That goal, in alone by McDonald, was a thing of BEAUTY. He fakes Volchenkov right off his skates, then beats Emery five-hole.
8:27 We get a fascinating, fascinating mic’d up with O’Donnell in which he, his mustache and his giant apostrophe give very specific instructions to the equipment trainer about what sticks he wants.
7:52 Doc informs us the fans are chanting “Go Sens Go.” At stately IPB Manor the chant goes “Blow Sens Blow”. Leafs fans make it so easy, don’t they?
7:44 Pierre tells us the story of Getzi, as a Junior star, calling the GM from the back of the bus to get the movie changed. Pierre seems to think this is a really great example of what a fantastic player Getzi was. Eddie says what we’re all thinking: “I would have told him, ‘Get off the bus and start walking.’”
6:26 Giggy is a lot stronger than we are. He gets a puck at the side of the net and somehow manages, with Heatley hacking at him, to not lose his position and let that squirt through. It goes to video review, but it didn’t even come close. We wouldn’t put it past the War Room at this point though to call that a goal.
6:00 Pookie asks the question on all of our minds: “Has Motzko seen the ice?”
4:26 On a great, speedy transition from defense to offense, Getzi and Penner get in on a 2-on-1, and Penner just hits the outside of the goalpost.
3:46 Grumble grumble. [*Gritting teeth*] That was an outrageously good post-to-post glove save by Emery on a shot from Beauchemin.
3:31 NBC gives us their “Team Leaders” stat board, and in this case it’s showcasing the two major superstars, Giggy and that big bitch. You know, if we were Senators we’d be pretty pissy that Neil’s being cast as the be-all, end-all. Pookie always thinks as the “Team Leaders” title spins up onto the screen that it says “Meat Leaders”.
2:00 Moments ago Eddie commented that the Senators were just hoping to get into the intermission down one goal, prompting us to say we refuse to believe the Ducks are getting out of this up one. As if on cue, Heatley gets loose from our SCF boyfriend and beats Giggy on a nice cross-zone feed. Pookie: “And that is why you don’t rely on a goalie who can’t move from side to side.”
0:57 We’ve figured out why NBC is lowering themselves to have Don Cherry on the feed tonight: they just want to show off to American fans that they’re not missing anything.
0:00 Eddie is frothing at the mouth at Daniel “Cap’n Classy” Alfredsson shooting the puck straight at Nieder at the buzzer. The Ducks are not pleased either, and in the ensuing scrum, Alfie throws the only punch. Nice. Pierre loses his mind trying to demonstrate exactly how outraged he is, and Pookie suggests he meant to say, “Daniel Alfredsson is the best in the world at being classless.”
Well, needless to say, we liked that period a lot more than the first, but for some annoying reason we never doubted the Senators were going to be able to tie it up despite being dominated. It galls us it was Emery’s great play that spurred it, though. Looking for the silver lining, we’ll just say better him than Neil, though.
SECOND INTERMISSION
We wish desperately that there is a way to let NBC know when we’re muting them. Just, you know, to send a message. Because we’re not listening to Don Cherry, and wouldn’t on pain of death. We decide to take this opportunity to catch up with the delightful running game diary that is happening in actual liveblog fashion in our comments, rather than this “fake” liveblog we do with intermission-only updates. (Seriously, Gentle Readers, you all ROCK.)
We will weigh in on the issue of who we’d cheer for in a Hull-Cherry fight: Brett Hull, no question. Don Cherry is a racist, xenophobic asshole, and if he worked for an American broadcaster he would have been fired years ago. Brett Hull is just a dunderhead. Advantage: Dunderhead.
THIRD PERIOD
Let’s get this straight: Alfredsson fired a puck directly into Nieder’s upper body, then sucker-punches Moen in the ensuing scrum, and he is not penalized. But we’re starting the period 4-on-4 without much explanation from NBC who took the penalties. (Pierre assures us he ran into Pronger between periods and Pronger promised that Alfie will be punished by the Ducks, if not the league. Great! So now he can get suspended after just one game back!)
18:58 Beauchemin apparently can’t handle (this is per Pierre, though, so take it with a grain of salt) skating without Prongsie, and gets called for holding Kelly.
17:27 Pierre praises Nieder for making a kamikaze pass to Getzi right in the crease. Eddie says that there are only two guys in the world who should make that play: Nieder and Baby Nieder. Pookie says, “That’s a situation where you can say there is only one guy in the world who should do that.”
16:31 Teemu springs on a loose puck in the slot and forces Emery to make a quick save. Volchenkov trips Teemu on his way into barreling into Emery. Eddie tries to explain why no penalty on Volchenkov by saying his original intent was to knock over Teemu, but then he fell over and made Teemu fall over, so… he’s blameless? Isn’t the definition of tripping that the original intent is to knock the other guy over?
15:53 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Teemu says “FUCK YOU!” to the Sens and the officials; he streaks through Volchenkov and Redden with the puck, passes through a staggering Volchenkov, and finds a lightning-quick Penner. Emery for some reason wanders out of his net on this play and Penner makes no mistake on the easiest goal he’ll ever score.
14:12 The fans roar at Giggy for pushing the net off the moorings, but really he was just trying to draw the attention of the officials that it was already off.
13:19 Beauchemin and DiPenta have a surprisingly difficult time handling the puck in a situation where they have clear possession in their zone while facing a weak one-man forecheck. Needless to say, Pierre starts blathering on again about the absence of Pronger. It seems likely, though, that Anaheim will take this tense “how long before they turn that over for reals?” situation over whatever Pronger probably would have done to Alfredsson at the outset of this period.
12:37 Doc is sort of rambling about which members of NBC’s broadcast team won Stanley Cups as players. We will fill in here for him that the Cup ring he wears is a Devils one, from 2000. He has said that he wears it because the fans so like to see it, and that’s just such a wildly cool thing that Doc would do that to make the fans happy. Doc Emrick is, simply, the very best.
10:56 Beauchemin might be having his worst game ever, but he’s still better than the little bitch. He bests Comrie after coughing the puck up to him in the high slot.
10:03 We cry out in terror, “Wake up, Getzi!” The puck is loose right in front of the net, and he is obliviously standing in front of Giggy with his back to it. Someone else steps in and picks up the slack before any of the Senators forwards can wake up, either.
9:37 Uh oh. Coming back from commercial we see Giggy getting massaged for cramps. We are not at all surprised to hear the cramping was started by Giggy getting hit by O’Donnell. Maybe he needs to drink more Capri Suns?
8:56 To quote the immortal Barry Melrose, “Prevent defense prevents you from winning.” The Ducks are choosing not to leave their own zone, and we feel compelled to remind them they only have a one-goal lead.
7:38 Want an even-up non-call, Ducks fans? How about Pahlsson getting a free hook to steal the puck high in the Ottawa zone and get a glorious scoring chance?
6:59 Penner clearly reads IPB and is pissy we’ve complained about his crappy play in previous games. He has the biggest motor on this shift of the estimably-motored Penner/Perry/Getzi line and makes Emery earn his keep on a nice shot.
6:08 Pierre tells us the officials are warning the Ducks that they’re getting away with stuff on their line changes, and this sets Eddie off into further hysterics that THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH ANAHEIM’S LAST CHANGE!!! We hope they have a defibrillator up in the booth, because Eddie’s going to need it at this rate.
5:45 Grumble grumble times two. [*Through gritted teeth*] Emery comes up HUGE to make two saves on Perry on a semi-break. (The replay shows we can take that back: the rebound shot hit the post.)
5:08 Ottawa tries to cheat on a change and are told they have to stick with the D-men they already have on the ice. Take that, Bryan Murray, you cheating cheater. (We don’t doubt we’ll hear all kinds of whining about this if the Ducks manage to hold on.)
4:04 Getzi obviously wants us to break up with him, and blindly tosses the puck out of his own corner to a streaking little bitch in the slot. His teeth must have been making the decisions on that play.
3:05 We just want to die right now. The Ducks are happy to do the long-clear-and-sit-back approach to holding a lead, and it is killing us.
2:52 Eddie starts into his “no soft plays in your own zone” pep talk, and it sounds strangely familiar from the Buffalo series. In a bad way. As in, Buffalo didn’t listen to him.
2:20 The crowd is engaging in a lackluster “Go Sens Go”. They are not a happy group of people right now.
1:42 A Duck tries a soft clear off the glass, prompting Schnookie to shout, “No, HARD clears, boys!” The Senators bail them out, though with a hand pass.
1:33 Oh dear God. Icing on the Ducks. Not cool (No, not you, Icing. You’re very cool.)
During the ensuing timeout, Pookie finally snaps. “Does nobody on the bench notice that huge tag sticking out of Spezza’s collar? Can’t someone just reach out and tuck it in for him?” She adds that our HD picture is so good she has to stop herself from trying to do so.
The Sens come back from timeout with Emery on the bench.
0:57 Giggy placidly holds onto a puck on a shot from the point with Alfredsson right in front of him to shovel up any rebounds.
0:29 The Nieders combine to clear the puck through the pointman and Moen beats the Senators to it the Ottawa zone.
0:00 Stately IPB Manor erupts into ululations of joy, to make up for the sepulchral silence in Scotiabank Place. We suggest the Ducks opt to play the next game without Pronger, and we can only hope Alfredsson will be joining him in that exclusive brotherhood of guys who were suspended during the SCF. (He won’t be, but combine the non-suspension on his boarding of Tallinder in the ECF with the shooting the puck at Nieder and the suckerpunch on Moen and it would certainly be justified.)
As for this game, well, it started shaky, with some staggeringly bad officiating and a dizzying mismatch of intensity by the teams, but holy shit did the Ducks ever turn it around. All we can say right now is sweet, sweet, sweet.
would chris neil put some damn teeth in??????
Oh, Alanis. My ears are bleeding.
you can’t do that on television
well shit…unfortunatly she did
So it begins
uh oh, alanis nailed it…ducks are going down. i think i saw a few players crying!
According to Doc, Chris Neil is now the face of the Senators. A bit of hyperbole. And also, yikes.
wtf neil?
I think my daughter just said it right when she yelled, “Mom, he is faking it” about Neil dropping….
Mooooooooooom, Neil is being a sissy again!
Targeted player??? Well when you are a PUSSY and fake for the first penalty…….JEEZE.
Could Anaheim maybe get a shot on goal? Maybe?
Neil, get off Jiggy. You don’t get to flatten someone who’s that much classier than you.
Ducks just killed to PP????? WTF Ottawa???? Where is your game???
I guess I am just here getting “Jiggy” wit’ it.
two….not to.
Jiggy looks solid. He is going to have to make more saves than Jesus to steal this game the way the Ducks take so many penalties!
Well, it’s very difficult for Neil to flatten someone less classy than him. What option does he have, really?
edit: that was supposed to be “less classy than himself”
is baby crunchy playing???? Sorry, I should have been paying attention.
Earl….where are you??? The Pink Piranha is here with me to bring the Ducks Luck…..
No. And what the heck is up with that? Fools.
Have I told you guys I love you for doing this? Cuz I do Because I am stuck at work and can’t listen at the moment :(
Are we going to have to listen to these guys talk about Chris Neil for the entire game? Because I can’t handle that.
I know…I might have to go back to my penguins watching (with the sound off)…but then we will miss Hull’s brilliant commentary….
Are we going to have to listen to these guys talk about Chris Neil for the entire game?
I know….”the face”….ha….yeah…it is a face alright…..not one I want to wake up next to!
These damn kids and their newfangled dry erase boards!
heather, hee.
Thank heaven y’all aren’t watching HNiC. They’re still carrying on like Chris Neil’s the first player to ever have had a baby in the playoffs. I also really didn’t need to hear about him seeing the baby coming out of the va-jay-jay.
And when did Alanis get pretty?
She’s been pretty for awhile now, I think.
AMY…….STOP!!!! I just got a picture of a Neil Spawn coming out of a va-jay-jay………!!! Wrong
Way to hang around the back of the net Nieder.
I’m going to watch this game on mute. I’m sure it’s a cute baby, but she does not warrant this much attention.
EMERY………………………………GAHHHH………….WHAT A PUSSY.
THAT IS A BULLSHIT CALL!
Wow. I just switched from HINC to NBC and holy crap! Those guys are so excitable! I think my pulse jumped into high gear just listening to Pierre bust a vein.
poo.
… bummer.
Hm. I really hate to say this…..but what the fuck with the officiating??? Normally I don’t say much…….I even watch the Seahawks get killed due to bad calls in the Superbowl…but this penalty shit (2 to the ducks that were blatent BULLSHIT CALLS)……
The Ducks have the reputation so they pay for that I think. Although I agree that the calls were crap.
Amy, I was watching HNiC but when the broadcast started with a lengthy, heart-warming interview with Chris Neil, I had to change the channel.
Ed can be an idiot, but I’m totally with him on dives negating the original penalty if there was one. Emery, if you don’t want to get hit, stay in your freakin’ crease. And since when does getting bumped in the arm cause you to fall over backward? Ugh.
OK, I was watching upstairs, but with 5 seconds left I decided to come down here. Anything exciting happen?
Aside from a goal by Ottowa, not much.
I am all for the fact that calls fall both ways….normally it ends out even in the end, but seriously in big games……the officiating has to be stellar……all the leagues are having issues with this NFL, NBA, etc…….it gets frustrating.
For those of you watching NBC, that cat is freakin’ amazing.
Hey, I’m optimistic. Emery’s already starting to nod off. I think we can catch him napping late next period.
Did you see how quickly he dozed off when Getzlaf skated by him?
Emery is going to have a rough game….now if only the Ducks can actually make some shots on goal…..
Perry and Eaves get matching bitch-slapping minors
Nice one!
Earl – you got on your green shirt???
Just caught my very first NBC broadcast of an NHL Stanely Cup final and all I can say is, I will now go to a corner and weep uncontrolled. How the NHL still has anyone watching is beyond me.
This crew is horrendous?, awful, putrid, well you get my point. Wow no wonder people hate the Sens I’ll just shutup now.
You guys are truly fans if you had to sit through the entire playoffs listening to these guys….
Sometimes I guess it’s better to just read the blog and not comment. I’ll leave that to others from now on.
Damn you media!!!!!!!!
Oh by the way when you get a stick in the nuts it hurts, even if you are Chris Neil.
Aww I just commented again. OK I’ll try one more time
Damn you media…. peace out.
There is no justice in this world
No there isn’t. It’s a good thing it’s intermission because I’m about to throw a huge “I can make a 4 year old look mature” temper tantrum, and this way I won’t miss any hockey.
Look, just because you’ve got thousands of people singing along, Alanis, doesn’t mean you need to pace “O Canada” like a dirge.
The best versions of “O Canada” that I have heard have made the anthem sound like a rousing drinking song.
The “matching bitch-slapping minors” is a great line. The way the NHL is going, this could be an actual penalty down the line.
Bill, I have both NBC and CBC….both are equally crap most of the time…
As for officiating, I’m not that upset, really. The NHL has adopted this bizarre fashion of penalties–call crazy-ass penalties early, then overlook later penalties to try to compensate. It’s completely bizarre and completely insane, but it’s certainly not new.
So “Oops, Neil dived but we didn’t call it” becomes “Pahlsson, go ahead and delay the game. We’ll look the other way.” Now we got this Emery fiasco, so I’m sure Perry will spear somebody to the ice and nobody will get called on it until the NHL suspends him tomorrow.
The problem I see with complainers is that they keep using the word “consistency”–but really, we already have consistency. It’s got a strange pattern of make-up justice and manufactured comebacks, but it’s rarely strayed from. The straight-called game is really the anomaly.
OK, go Ducks.
or Earl, they could just call real penalties and not have to do this weird make up crap….
…but what the hell do I know?
Earl – you got on your green shirt???
You betcha. I should get a long-sleeve lucky shirt and have Chris Pronger sign the elbows.
Good, well the Pink Piranha is sitting here with me….Natalia did the Go Ducks Dance with it!
oh no you didn’t, Earl. I know you did not just say that. :)
I should get a long-sleeve lucky shirt and have Chris Pronger sign the elbows.
Just wasted good beer when I spit it out all over my keyboard.
Earl, I love you on so many levels right now.
I’ve just thought, my number is 1… Emery’s number is 1. Obviously I am in need of a number change.
COME ON DUCKS!!!
poooor Neil……2 in the Sin Bin
they could just call real penalties and not have to do this weird make up crap….
Oh, they SHOULD. That might discourage some of this marginally dirty play. But they frequently don’t, and we sit around and yell about it as if it’s the first such time we’ve seen such rotten officiating.
It’s a regularly frustrating experience, unless you’re prepared for it. (Sigh), but I’ve seen it before.
I know you did not just say that. :)
Oh, I’m not condoning elbowing. I just want to see the look on his face when I ask for it.
Bring someone along to take a picture. That’s something that should be immortalized.
I left a comment and it didn’t show up
It should go in the IPB Museum next to the Piranha.
Earl, hee.
WHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
DUCKS SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pierre totally sounded like a 9-year-old trying to get in with the big kids on that icing call. “Hey, Eddie! Eddie, hey, Eddie! That was an icing! It was an icing! Wanna know why? Do you, do you? Do you wanna know why?”
Shut up, Pierre!
McDOOOOONNNNNNAAAAAALLLLLLLDDDDD!!!!
It’s all coming together: the refs start playing favorable, Emery gets napping.
I (heart) green shirt.
HAPPY!!!
I left a comment and it didn’t show up
Sorry Bethany, the overzealous spam filter attacked again. Your comment has been restored to it’s rightful place as the twenty-something-th comment.
Ah Bethany….we love you too!!!
WHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Oh crap, that’s not a different angle replay?!!!
McDOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNAAAAALLLLLLLLDDDDDD again!
Patience, my young midget.
MORE HAPPY!!!
All right, clearly I just can’t watch. I’ve been watching Hell’s Kitchen during most of this period (I know, I know) and the Ducks have scored both goals when I wasn’t looking.
I heart Jiggy
Don’t talk nonsense, Heather B! I have confidence that the green shirt combined with the pink piranha are enough combined mojo to allow you to watch safely.
(But feel free to keep watching HK, if it’s a compelling episode.)
Wow… what a save.
Come on Anaheim, let’s keep going.
Someone gave Emery No-Doze the last part of this period.
UGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH……..
rats
BUGGER!
Oof. I saw that one developing. That’s what you get when it’s Getzlaf instead of Pahlsson.
Getzlaf was sucking dirty pot water so THAT explains his nasty teeth…..
and the brawl begins
boy this is a game that it pays to stay until the 0:00 whistle, huh?
Neid…..Neid…..who is gonna give him sweet loving????
Yeah, learned the hard way last period huh?
Oh, I was kidding about period one. It was just me brushing Alfie’s goal off with a brave face.
That was foul. He literally took a shot at Nieder.
What the?! What was Alfie doing because that sure appeared to be intentional in which case… total disappointment. This is what we get for talking up Chris Neil. His whole team is starting to play like him!
And today it’s Ottawa’s turn to remind us how unlikeable they are, as if we’d forgotten.
Don Cherry should get in a fight with Brett Hull to prove his point.
“See, don’t you love it? Don’t you wanna see more?”
I’d stand up and cheer in my living room if Don Cherry would punch Brett Hull in the face.
Oh…YES…..drop your gloves Cherry
Come on, NBC the only reason I watch your intermission show is for the adorable Ray Ferraro and he’s the guy we lose for Cherry? Still… entertaining to see Cherry berate Hull about his Stanley Cup winning “goal” ;-)
Okay, I want to jump in here while the IPB Machine is cooling off and mention that you all are awesome!
Yeah, why did I get the impression that Brett Hull really really REALLY wanted Don Cherry to like him. Like a boy with a crush.
And then he gets shot down about the skate: “Why should you have the right to have a reasonable opinion on anything” and all. Priceless.
Pierre ejaculates
Those two words should NEVER EVER EVER EVER be in the same sentence. Or at least not back to back. I’m now going to spend the next few minutes trying to erase this piece of my memory.
Schnookie, we should be thanking you, this is the best night I have had in a long time!!!
icing…..I tried to gloss over that while reading my mind was unable to process that statement, but thanks…it is now burned into my memory……..gah…….
By the way, the NHL had better write a letter to Alfie’s parents about that shot at Niedermayer. Hopefully a sternly-worded letter.
If the league fails in this regard, I would hope IPB would write such a letter in the NHL’s stead.
Totally off topic, but I just wanted to check, is it a really sad thing that I like the Marty Brodeur pizza commercial? Do I need to rephrase that as “how sad is it that I…”? Is there such a thing as an IPB poll? Hmm, which makes me wonder, is there an IPB pole?
And I’m not even drinking. Sheesh.
Cherry’s smackdown of Hull was hilarious!
I’m sorry, did they just say it’s 4 on 4? And Alfie is on the ice? I give up.
NO PENALTY ON ALFIE!? I am completely appalled.
Oh crap, Sammy’s in the box? C’mon, Ducks!
I know…I know…….Mags….WTF.
Well, Scott Niedermayer got his no-doze also, wow! Alfie’s cough medicine, or something.
Once upon a time I liked Alfredsson an awful lot. I’m actually rather sad that the playoffs this year has killed that.
Yes Meg in both his playing and personality.
Hooray!
PEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEERRRR!
Good work by Andy Mac again!
WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
MORE MORE HAPPY!!!
Let’s go clock!
Go clock, Go!
Hey guys I’m off for a minute. I have to go dig around for my meds. This game is anxiety inducing! Let’s go Anaheim!
Wow. That was a tough set of minutes. Go clock go! You can do it!
I tell you Emery is like a errant child…..If I was a Sens fan I would be freaking out with as much time as he spends out of the crease……
Are you guys driving up the comment numbers so you can get more IPBucks? :)
DO we get another 100 IPBucks???
Do Ottawans have the potential to turn crazy soccer fan on Emery and string him up in the streets for his performance, dancing outside the crease?
OOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhh….Emme…I like where your mind is going….
That would certainly be an interesting course of action to pursue…
Holy crapski. Haul ass clock, haul ass!
Earl….checking in….are you still breathing????
After whistles I take a few breaths.
Not breathing after that Alfie deflected shot.
Could the clock go ANY slower?!?
Go clock go! Home stretch!
Stupid Canadian clock.
I KNOW……..gah………I am ready to freak……and this isn’t even my team……
I know how you feel oil. This is only time I’ve ever had an anxiety attack during a game that didn’t involve the Devils.
I know…and trust me…I know FREAK……My Oilers were here last year…..
Oh no, Mags! Take it easy over there.
C’mon, Ducks. Pronger is sitting around waiting to light his cigar.
Mags, can you hand out virtual anti-anxiety drugs?
blow sens blow
Evilly, Pronger lights his cigar…..
YES!!!!
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
That was a hell of a game. Talk about a finish.
Hooooooooray!
EEEEEXXXXXXXHHHHHHAAAAAALLLLLLLLEEEEEEE!!!!
(whew! I love it when a plan comes together!)
So Earl…I think the Pink Piranha will have to be broken out again on Wednesday….
The Ducks should totally sit Pronger next game. They didn’t even need him!
(Kidding.)
My favorite insight from Pierre tonight: “There are only two Niedermayers in the league and the other one is forward and he is Scott’s brother.” Thanks, Pierre. I was wondering if the two Niedermayers were related.
Emme, I don’t think you need them anymore :D
Ah. Did not know about Cherry being a racist xenophobe. Ick.
They’re showing me NFL Europa. Clearly, I am not wanted here. I’m going to bed. Enjoy the post-game everyone!
We will weigh in on the issue of who we’d cheer for in a Hull-Cherry fight: Brett Hull, no question. Don Cherry is a racist, xenophobic asshole, and if he worked for an American broadcaster he would have been fired years ago. Brett Hull is just a dunderhead. Advantage: Dunderhead.
I would like to state that my desire to see Don Cherry punch Brett Hull in the face has nothing to do with liking Cherry. It has a lot to do with thinking that Hull is an ass, and no doubt a lot to do with the fact that I grew up in Buffalo.
Think of it this way though…If Cherry were to punch Hull, he and his xenophobic racism would probably not be asked to appear on NBC ever again. It’s totally a win-win situation, ladies!
I am in total agreement with you Meg (minus the whole buffalo thing)…..I just wanna see them drop the gloves and go!
Meg, I see your point… but could they, like, concurrently punch each other out?
Maybe he needs to drink more Capri Suns?
….and eat more Lunchables.
but could they, like, concurrently punch each other out?
Hell yes. That would be even more awesome!
Great! Then it’s decided! Simultaneous KO’s on both Hull and Cherry in the Great Blowhard Punch-Out!
Sweet! Love it when great minds combine (and I am definately NOT speaking about Hull and Cherry)
See, brilliant ideas like that are why you ladies have a fabulous hockey blog, and I just comment on it. :D
Again Ladies…..Great Live Blog!!!
I am glad I was not the only one who thought:
As Beauchemin is unable to stop a bouncing puck at the point, Pierre ejaculates, “This is where the Ducks miss the steadying influence of Christopher Pronger.” The steadying influence? Seriously??
Only Lauren calls him “Christopher” :)
See, brilliant ideas like that are why you ladies have a fabulous hockey blog, and I just comment on it.
Oh man! The comments are what are currently powering IPB! We spent our commercial breaks tonight scrambling to keep up with you all — we are truly humbled!
We just want to be near Greatness……it is our 2 seconds of pretending that we are as witty and brilliant as you!
Although I think I speak for most when I say, I was a bit depressed tonight thinking that we probably only have one game left at most two, and now that we have all found where we feel most at home! Thank you for opening IPB Manor to all of us and making us feel welcome. I am not sure what I will do until the beginning of next season!
Well, we’ll be liveblogging the Awards Show (assuming VS is carrying it), so we’ll open the post up because the commentary tonight clearly enhanced what IPB has to offer! (We are also going to be blogging all summer — fresh content every day! We promise!)
Yippee….well I am off to my hockey game….you all get some sleep in the East.
Nighty night, all! A huge success!
All of a sudden, Wednesday seems like it’s weeks away!
g’nite guys.
I tried keeping up for a while (managing only a weird cat comment) but gave up and gave myself over to the game. What a game. In some ways, it was better to watch first and read later, because I got to come down from the happiness high by reading the blog (and the comments). IPB and guests were in rare form tonight. I am so glad you will be blogging the awards show and throughout the summer. I can’t stop gushing.
Good night!
Don Cherry is a racist, xenophobic asshole, and if he worked for an American broadcaster he would have been fired years ago. Brett Hull is just a dunderhead. Advantage: Dunderhead.
Just my opinion, but Cherry is a lot more enjoyable to watch if you don’t take him seriously. Focus on the wardrobe or on Ron McLean trying to wrangle him. Just don’t focus on the pompous-ness, and you’ll be fine. The one thing Cherry should get a cookie for is honoring Canadian soldiers during Coach’s Corner segments. If the American media did that, I would probably fall off my chair. But I digress.
Totally off topic, but I just wanted to check, is it a really sad thing that I like the Marty Brodeur pizza commercial?
I like the commercial too. I also like the one Messier did for a bring the Cup home contest where he knocks on someone’s door in full hockey gear and says ” Have you met my friend Stanley?”
Woo Hoo!
Two words, people: Joe Motzko
Wow! Still having trouble remembering to breathe this morning!
I’m borrowing my breathing technique from Paul Kariya, 2003 SCF G6, after being checked by Scott Stevens.
Lifeless for several seconds, then gasping for air.
So glad to hear your vital functions are hanging in there, Earl. This is no time to be forgetting how to breath or how to keep your heart beating. As for Kariya, that wasn’t air he was gasping for. It was his soul returning to his previously dead body. That was a case of corpse reanimation at work!
Nice one Schnookie!
I’m just stating the truth! :-)
Whenever I think of that hit I get the chills. Oh man, Kariya just lying there was scary. The way he just popped back in there, oh man. You’re right though Schnookie, he was gone there for a minute.
Yup. He was dead as a doornail. (Actually, that playoffs was all about captains totally pretending they weren’t concussed and jumping right back up to keep playing. The scariest head injury by far that year was Stevens getting that slapshot to the head in the second round against Tampa. And did his pretending not to be concussed and continuing to play anyway end up shortening his career? Sure it did. But did it also lead to him winning his third Cup? You bet. Would he do it all over again if given the chance? Probably. And could you blame him? I couldn’t.)
Yikes. I just went and found that hit on YouTube. Dang, that is some eerie looking shit.
Thanks, now I am going to have to hunt it down!!!
Wow Earl, Snookie…you weren’t kidding with the gasping for air bit…..alot like droping a fish out of water….
Oil, you really don’t want to. I never got to see G6 live, and I knew Kariya came out of it reasonably ok, but it still scared me.
Yeah… nothing like ESPN getting the cameras right up in under his nose as he simultaneously regains consciousness and gets his breath back after having it knocked out of him. Poor little Paulie Ducks. (I still put forth that Stevens gushing a trail of blood out of his ear and onto the ice was just as freaky!)
*Gasp*
Please don’t send me to YouTube searching for “blood ear Stevens”
*shiver*
See, I didn’t want to remember what happened to Stevens because I’ve been there. I’m partially deaf because of something like that. Looking at it when you’ve been through it is more frightening than you can possibly imagine.
Kate, I don’t think it’s on youtube.
Do we really have a free night with NO hockey?? NHL that is (my daughter has her own game this evening)…..what are we possibly going to fill the time with?
(I still put forth that Stevens gushing a trail of blood out of his ear and onto the ice was just as freaky!)
Probably, although the Kariya hit carried with it two distinct overriding trends: (a) Stevens’ ability to knock someone out, and (b) Kariya’s ability to be knocked out (concussion history).
It was hugely worrisome set of minutes at the Pond that day, but made for all the greater sense of relief when Kariya not only returned but scored a huge goal as well. The loudest Pond I have ever been to, without a doubt.
I can’t believe that the NHL is ignoring the Alfie hit to Nieder. This is part of my problem, you pull Pronger in the series with the Wings, for what I think (and you know I don’t like Pronger) was an unintentional hit. BUT you still suspend/penalize him because that is the name of the game, intentional or NOT you don’t hit head shots. Right? So, how come we can blatently ignore the shot to Nieder with the puck? Just because Alfie says “whoops, didn’t mean to.” (which we all know is BULLSHIT). Intentional or unintentional is he NOT responsible for his actions (a la Pronger in Wings series???)
I guess to me, puck control and shooting is very important, you can kill a person/blind/seriously injure a person with a shot from a puck. As a shooter, do you not take some responsiblity for your shot?
a-oil, for sure you should be held accountable, though I might prefer it if it were player-enforced rather than league-enforced (the league has enough trouble enforcing the rules it has now).
But selfishly, I hope Alfredsson does play G5. I want him to lose on the ice, as a personal preference.
Alfie is better off not getting on the ice tomorrow, I think ole Pronger will take him down…….
I agree with Earl — I would like very much to see Alfie on the ice if the Ducks win. And one can only hope Pronger will keep what passes as his “wits” about him. Right now the Ducks have the moral upper hand after the diving and goonery put on by the Senators in G4. It would be nice if they can keep it that way!
I think ole Pronger will take him down
That’s exactly what I’m worried about.
Well the damn ducks had better bring back Baby Crunchy Pickles for the final game…….he needs to be on the ice when the Cup is presented….
Alfredsson is a dirt bag. The hit from behind on Tallinder in the ECF and now this…I can’t believe the league just let’s him get away with playing like such a turd.
And as for scary/freaky moments on the ice, I’m thinking no one will ever top Clint Malarchuk having his throat accidentally cut open by a skate while down on the ice. For those of you who haven’t seen it, DO NOT look it up on youtube unless you’re ready for it. It’s gross. And scary. But he lived, so there was a happy ending!
The moral high ground has been a slippery spot this series, but now that Alfie has turned bitchy, I get absolutely no whiff of feel-goodery from the Senators. I love Papa Neider and his scratchy beard so so so much.
If I may, I would like to request a summertime hockey syllabus from IPB manor so that next season I won’t have to rely so heavily on play-off beards and elbow-shenanigans to form my strong opinions.
holy hot damn… I watch the game and totally forget (check that… totally hammered the end of the 1st) that there is something called the inter-web out there and the great IPB dames are giving us the blow-by-blow of the game with and the comments keep going and going… and going.
Tomorrow ladies… I am hoping to be able to tune in to the live blogging unless I am distracted by pints of Guinness and planning out a menu for about 3 dozen people for a gathering at the end of July. Lots of fire involved… that’s all I know… ^_^
Oh Kate, I think our plans for this summer should suit your needs nicely — you’ll roll into next season armed to the teeth with rational, well-reasoned bases for all your hockey opinions!
And Niekon, seriously, be here or be… uh… square? I think I screwed up that rhyme. IPB was the place to be during G4 and I expect nothing less during G5. (And if the comment thread isn’t even better tomorrow, you’re all FIRED!)
Oh, and you can do a 3-dozen invitee gathering so close to the end of the hockey season? Our annual PorkFest BBQ had to be moved to Labor Day Weekend so we’d have sufficient time to recover from the hockey before beginning our planning… ;-)
Andrew — sorry your comments keep disappearing into our overzealous spam filter! WordPress must not like you or something… but the opinions of our spam filter most decidedly do NOT reflect the opinions of IPB! I agree whole-heartedly that it’s hard to figure why the league has turned a blind eye to Alfredsson’s transgressions this Spring.
And Malarchuk definitely goes right up there on the All-Gruesome list. Fortunately I wasn’t watching hockey then and haven’t ever actually seen it…
ooohhhh yeah….I remember that one……yuck.
My daughter thinks I am crazy that I don’t let her skate without her hockey gloves and helmet on…..but I tell you……watching someone skate over a bare hand happens all the time………gah….
Kate, I totally agree with you on the Nieds love. I don’t have a real attachment to either team as a whole, but Scott Niedermayer is the one guy in the series you absolutely can’t touch if you want me to love you. You’d think the Sens would learn something about going after captains, wouldn’t you?
Gomez is open market??? Schnookie…..Pookie…..what are your Devils going to do????
end of July gathering is what has been termed the OMGWTFBBQ and is in it’s third year now. We have managed to pull off some oddities over the past couple of years that have included boar meatballs… elk tamales… Guinness-marinated roasted boar ribs… some sort of pineapple glaze on kangaroo ribs… jackfruit… think there was some ostrich and gator tossed in there somewhere too.
This year we’re going for the oddity OMG factor and the taste OMG factor to blow the previous years out of the water. And it helps that this event happens to fall on the weekend of my birthday and this year as a tribute I’m being roasted on my 35th…
Okay, the OMGWTFBBQ sounds AWESOME! I am so impressed!
(And as for Gomez… [*shrugs*] The Devils will just have to learn how to suck on the power play without a puck carrier, as opposed to how they’ve been sucking so much the last few years with a puck carrier.)
hahaha…I honestly choked a bit when I saw that he was asking over 6 mil……..um….yeah…NOT SO MUCH.
I’m crazy jealous of the OMGWTFBBQ.
As for Gomez, what Schnookie said.
(History of science sucks. My brain is melting)
where is the OMGWTFBBQ and how many of us can crash it?
Right now the Ducks have the moral upper hand after the diving and goonery put on by the Senators in G4. It would be nice if they can keep it that way!
I suppose that would be nice, but why go play outside of their element? The Ducks have thrived on being the dirty team, and I’m so used to it by now I’d be shocked if they adopted halos on the ice.
Somebody on the Ducks squad should try to get a 2-game suspension in this game (provided they are winning) so they don’t have to make the ridiculous trip to England next fall!
Earl, take that back. I’m going to see them in England in the fall. I want the entire Ducks team there thank you very much. I don’t even like them that much, but I paid good money for my plane ticket and the seat so I’d like to see all of them.
I was just trying to ensure a Motzko appearance, or maybe something along the lines of Baby Crunchy for ya!
ooooohhhhh….baby crunchy…….say it again earl…say it again….
You are forgiven :P. Baby Crunchy would totally make my day.
I can’t imagine that the NHL would let the Ducks play that ridiculous England game without Motzko or Baby Crunchy. I mean, isn’t this about showcasing their biggest names?
head nodding in complete agreement exactly Schnookie….who the hell would want to see Pronger or Neids when they can see Motzko(nation) or Baby Crunchy????
ooooohhhhh….baby crunchy…….say it again earl…say it again….
Man, with this kind of demand, I suppose the ol’ nickname of “Miller Lite” is going the way of the Senator, I mean dinosaur.
Sorry Earl….but Miller Lite seriously blew….kinda like the Sens….you should have realized we were NEVER going to go for that. sigh Baby Crunchy……
I can’t believe we got to over 200 comments… Go us!
Maybe we should start a museum for fossilised nicknames.
True, but it was weird in that I had never really taken into the original “Crunchy” fad, so to go straight to “Baby Crunchy” seemed like a leap.
Plus, once on a trip from Florida to California my checked-in bag mysteriously got to L.A. with an extra t-shirt in it. Sure enough, it was a Miller Lite shirt, that still defies explanation of how it got in there. Surely it was a sign from the heavens (or the airline), plus it’s quite wearable.
So I had my reasons. But the people have spoken, I suppose!
Hey I’m with Miller Lite, but Baby Crunchy just makes him that little bit more adorable. I’m still in search of a Miller Lite t-shirt though, they’re impossible to get in Europe considering no one here has ever heard of this mythical Miller beer.
Earl you should be old enough in your life to realize that you are never going to win against a woman…..let ALONE a whole Blog of them…… :)
I can’t believe we got to over 200 comments… Go us!
Should we just use this thread for the entire offseason?
OH Mags….I shall find one and post it as soon as possible.
Earl is the only one that knows where I live… he has yet to partake in the keg o’ Guinness :P
he has yet to partake in the keg o’ Guinness :P
And at this rate, it will certainly have to be an offseason venture, perhaps at the OMFGHRGIEOEIBBQ (spelling? I just picked a lot of letters).
Tomorrow I will barely make it to my own home in time to see the game. Thanks, L.A. traffic!
Yeah, I guess the spam filter’s not a Malarchuk fan. It’s cool, just makes it hard to keep up now that you gals have become all famous…200+ posts per thread? You grows up and you grows up! So in the meantime, the topics change quickly and I have to sit idly by and wait.
WOW……another West Coast Person!!!! Yippee…I am closer to the OMGWTFBBQ then the rest of you! (finally closer to SOMETHING)
I would like to direct your attention here (tremble in fear of my n00bish photoshop skilzz)
Oil, that would be far too nice, and as such I cannot accept the offer :P I am stalking eBay as we speak though. (why do all these things come in XL? Hellooooooo, I’m a small person)
Mags….I ADORE IT!!!
I have a connection with the Miller Beer Guy here, I can get you want ever size you want free! So let me know!
(tremble in fear of my n00bish photoshop skilzz)
Aw, Mags, that’s fantastic!
And never tremble about photoshop. Odd fact about Sleek: despite my contention that I am a mediocre hockey writer and the only reason people visit BoC is to see the new graphic or cartoon, I have never (not once) ever used photoshop in my life.
I have a vague idea about the software (and am pretty sure it would be useful), but have never really owned it or pursued it. I am a hack who uses nothing but MS Paint and MS Powerpoint.
So who’s the photoshop n00b now?!
Yay! Thank you! I used to do a lot of that sort of stuff on Livejournal (usually pictures though and not just words) but I’ve sorta grown out of it. I’m going to change the font on that thing though, I hate it.
Oil, I shall find out my size and tell you and pay you the postage and love you forever and ever.
Earl, hehe, I never would have thought.
Ok so folks, did I miss something today??? Is it a holiday that I am unaware of? Are we edging closer to Halloween? I just got back from the Post Office and standing in front reading a paper (not a legitimate news source – but like freebie of some sort) seemingly calm and normal…….probably in her late 20′s early 30′s with a pair of cat ears on. You know…the kind kids wear on Halloween! Did I miss something?
It’s Anime Convention Season.
oh. of course. perfect sense now.
WOW……another West Coast Person!!!! Yippee…I am closer to the OMGWTFBBQ then the rest of you! (finally closer to SOMETHING)
I am a West Coast Person, too! Well, sort of. I grew up in southern California, but I’ve spent the last ten years on the East Coast, with a couple years in East Asia. So I guess I’m just a Confused Person.
Loving my Ducks from afar has always been difficult, but never tougher than this season. : (
*end of pity party*
kids these days are freaky… they also like to do things like pin tails onto the back of their pants and walk around like they’re an animal or something.
And then there are the real freaks who have metal shoved through who knows where… and funky colored hair… ^_~
But in all seriousness, not quite sure what to think of the kids with the cat ears. Even at anime/gaming cons they are an odd bunch. Thus why I quickly retreat to the nearest bar to drink and kill off the grey matter in order to rid my mind of those memories ^_^
I hear you….it was very difficult to follow hockey the 4 years I lived in Hawaii. My big excitement on Island was the Army-Navy Hockey game every year. Which was basically the worst hockey you have ever seen!
Loving my Ducks from afar has always been difficult, but never tougher than this season. : (
loving my Ducks from close by…. and will be at The Pond (oops… Honda Center) within a few minutes of the Cup presentation. thankfully Angels are playing an afternoon game and the traffic won’t be horrid from that place. It will just suck trying to get in around the arena.
Worse Niekon….clearly you missed the part where I mentioned SHE WAS AN ADULT, in regular old jeans and a sweatshirt…….but Cat Ears….
No Army Hockey reference is complete without mentioning Dan Hinote. So there you have it.
an adult? Ohhhhhh….. must be one of them furries… I’ve heard about them from CSI…
Niekon, my hair is/was (damn med school!) brighter than your hair. Sorry, I’m very competitive.
Furries are scary IMHO.
To distract you from the scary, look, more iconning.
mags…..I LOVE YOU………
loving my Ducks from close by…. and will be at The Pond (oops… Honda Center) within a few minutes of the Cup presentation.
Niekon, I just turned five shades of green in rapid succession. Have a great time!
Awwwww shucks. Thanks.
Where did everyone go? Did we scare them away?
I think they are playing on a different time zone. Earl, Niekon, and Myself are west coast and still at work, the rest are on their way home or making dinner right now I am sure.
True that. It’s past midnight here, but I can’t sleep. I think I’m going to give it another shot though.
Have fun spamming IPB everyone.
I’m still trying to bend my head around adult cat ears… there’s gotta be something I’m missing, right?
Earl, I know…I know. I just sat there and stared……
I am actually bailing from work early, as I have Natalia’s 3 on 3 hockey game at 6 and I need to pick her up and get her to the rink!
Oh the joys……..
Have fun! Tell her to get all McDonald out there (not so much Pronger or Alfredsson, though)!
work? Is that what I’m doing in this office? Damn… I knew there was something I wasn’t doing today. I do think I’ll be heading out soon though… need to play catch-up on all the other crap on my DVR tonight since I know I’ll be preoccupied tomorrow evening.
And Earl… try not to ponder the cat ears thing. It will hurt… and then massive amounts of alcohol will be needed to ease the pain…
Oh…shit…..I am sorry everyone…..my daughter is the Enforcer on the team. She is the most apt to take people out as necessary.
Aw, McDonald’s overrated anyway. I rather like the enforcer role–that will definitely put her on Brian Burke’s radar :)
Dudes, we go away for a few hours and look what happens! It’s almost as if we don’t need to bother posting anything — IPB has taken on a life of its own…
Andrew, I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why our spam filter dislikes you so! I restored your last two comments for all to read, and will endevour to solve the problem somehow. Rest assured we here at IPB don’t have it out for you or your comments!
It’s almost as if we don’t need to bother posting anything…
That’s kind of a tempting thought (for me, anyway). I tell ya, this playoff grind has been kind of tough on an ANA blogger–posts every othere day or more about the same opponent.
And two things happened as the playoffs got further along: (a) I had less of a sense of how the series would go, as I had no real feel about Detroit and wasn’t that familiar with Ottawa at all, and (b) more and more of the mainstream media began writing about these teams as well. Plenty to read and think about, but not that much to write convincingly about. Oh, and (c) the opposition commenters got nastier a bit, too, and (d) SJ and LA contributors pretty much stopped writing, out of shame and deference.
So I’m glad we’re on somewhat of a “home stretch” here, then I can get back to more random nonsense at a less stringent pace.
Oof. Now I gotta write something for G5. I have a sense it’s going to say something like “Pahlsson for Smythe” by the end of it. :)
IPB is out of CONTROL. It’s making me dizzy.
I googled Crunchy today…..yeah, I know, and I AM ashamed. You’ve probably already seen this, but it was new to me.
Doesn’t his neck strike you as dangerously spindley? He looks like a ten-year-old with a beard. Seriously, I hope Crunchy eats a lot of Fudgesicles this summer. He really, really does need some tender loving care. For reals. Not to mention how wispy his breathing sounds. How is he supposed to play his oboe with such poor breath control?
I mean, honestly Crunchy, you need a lady to comb your hair and fix you dinner.
*I promise not to mention Crunchy for the next month. This is it. I’m done.*
Earl, I agree. Blogging about the playoffs is a total drag. I mean, don’t get me wrong — I love the playoffs and all, but seriously, there’s only so much you can say about any of this. I do not envy you feeling compelled to write actual content. This whole blogging thing got way easier for us as soon as the Devils were out and we felt like we didn’t to bother with trying to sound insightful. Not that anything we say about the Devils is insightful, but you know what I mean… ;-)
Kate, thanks for the link! I loved that interview when it originally aired, and not just because I thought he was almost insufferably adorable, so bedraggled and scruffy like a wet kitten or something. I loved that MSG showed that on the postgame after the Sabres eliminated the Rangers, and they tossed us straight to that clip after we got to revel in the schadenfreude that was Stan Fischler losing his mind with despair at the Rangers losing.
Schnookie, I’ve watched that clip at least four times today. I can’t quite believe him and his strange magnetism. He’s like a tsumani of need. My heartstrings….ouch.
a tsunami of need
Wow. I don’t think I can top that. Ever.
I actually think what is so compelling about Crunchy is his utter earnestness. He seems completely devoid of any kind of sense of humor, but when he says something — anything — he really, really, really intensely means it. Needless to say, that prompts no end of merciless mocking from the couch at stately IPB Manor, but he just seems… thoughtful, I guess. That, and he looks like he has two glass eyes.
He is so fucking earnest. It’s breathtaking.
Okay, now I’m done talking about Crunchy. I think his earnestness is contagious. I seem to have been afflicted there for a second….I can only pray the Crunchiness doesn’t spread to my eyes.
No offense to Earl, but I think IPB has spoiled my taste for BoC! I go over there now and think, “Gosh, these comments are as bland as dry flour.”
Not that I think I add much to the spice level, here or there. I’m all about what life can do for me. ; )
Do we all need to go over to BoC and leave some fabulously wonderful comments? 257 IPBucks to anyone who leaves a comment for Earl saying, “BoC is the best! (But not as good as IPB, of course.)”
The deed is done Pookie.
I feel dirty.
The deed is done Pookie.
I feel dirty.
I’m here to verify.
Both that the deed is done and yes, Kate is dirty for doing so :)
Oh, Earl!
This is my favorite Crunchy interview of all time, mostly because of the “Please don’t touch me” bit at the end. So lovably cranky!
http://eod.liquidviewer.com/wben-od/wben/20070413_profile-1.wma
Heather, thank you a million times over for sending that Crunchy interview. I’m always looking for more fodder for ceaselessly needling Schnookie about Crunchy and, frankly, it doesn’t get better than the comment “Well, I could go out and run errands and buy groceries. But [life] can’t just be driving around buying stuff.” Wow. That just made my night!
(Schnookie, you should know, is laughing too hard to speak, let alone type!)
HAHAHAHA! Pookie, you beat me to it. I was feverishly trying to type that very quote when your comment popped up..
Also, Crunchy, if I ever meet you around town, first I’m going to scream, than I’m going to muss your hair, and then I’m scooping you up into my arms. You can crank all you want.
That was awesome!
If you’re ever in line behind him at the grocery store (when he deigns to doing something as soul-killing as “driving around buying stuff”) Schnookie demands that you write down what he buys. And then just tell her that he bought raisins and yogurt; it’s the only grocery shopping list she wants to hear.
Consider it done. I am actually almost ashamed to admit this, but a few months ago I’m actually pretty sure I saw Crunchy at the grocery store. Apparently he lives in my neck of the woods. At the time, my love for Crunchy was not fully solidified so I missed on a golden opportunity. I simply let him buy his raisins and gorp without a single harassment from my direction. Because of this brush with His Crunchyness I feel certain that he and I will meet again, which is why I will never again leave home without this post-it.
If he refuse to pose with it, I will simply stick it to his back when I give him a hug (after I ask for the hug, of course). I am nothing if not polite, Crunchy.
Kate, you are too, too funny!
I leave for one kids hockey game and look it all I miss.
Well girls…it looks like the Original Pink Piranha needs to be replaced….it may find it’s way to the IPB Manor shortly……
….Don’t worry Earl…..it will be firmly in hand for game 5.
Kids, this commenting has gone bananas. I couldn’t refresh fast enough during the game! I’ve been up since 7 this morning and I’ve just finished reading them all. Seriously I have a beard now. This is too awesome!
PS, Where in the hell was “Motzko?” As a MotzkoNationalist, I was offended by his non-existent playing time. How awesome would it have been if “Motzko” could have laid that big bitch out with a Kyle Quincey-vintage nads-first thundercheck? Come ON, Carlyle. Come to MotzkoNation.
Kate mentioned Crunchy and Fudgesicles way up in the comments. A roving Buffalo News reporter happened to catch Crunchy at the ice cream parlor during the playoffs. No word on what was ordered.
http://buffalonews.typepad.com/buffalonation/2007/05/sabres_spotting.html
And Tim Connolly almost ran me over with a shopping cart at the grocery store. He was forgiven because he was on the injured list at the time.
More Crunchy-Needling fodder! I love — LOVE — that the goofy puff-piece about Crunchy going to the ice cream parlor required the caveat “and he seemed totally normal, completely in control; not crazy at all!” And I’m sure he only goes to the ice cream store to stand in line, be noticed and then announce loudly, “No ice cream for me! I don’t want to get FAT!”
Amy, I particularly liked this bit:
And here’s the best omen: Ryan Miller seemed very calm. His eyes were confident, his look steady. If anyone seemed ready for a challenge, it was Miller.
Heh. I’m surprised the reporter didn’t throw a beef-on-weck at Crunchy, to test his play-off resolve. What, do they expect Crunchy to be in goalie mode all the time? Poor fella is just trying to relax and enjoy a Fudgesicle!
Or Pookie, he goes to the ice cream parlor with Goose, but then he makes a big deal out of eating his own raisins out of a little tupperware..
Good, lord. I need to go to work.
Crunchy was clearly trying to send me a message that the wants more than anything to spend his free time enjoying all the fine ice creams our area of Central NJ has to offer. CLEARLY. Because if he can be not crazy in some ice cream joint in Buffalo, imagine how much more not crazy he could be partaking of a yogurt-covered-raisin blend-in at Thomas Sweet?
Don’t be silly. Crunchy is definitely lactose intolerant. He can only handle dairy in tiny, raisin-sized bites. Are you trying to kill the guy, Schnookie?
Fine, he’ll have a yogurt-covered raisin non-dairy blend-in.
And I’m sure he only goes to the ice cream store to stand in line, be noticed and then announce loudly, “No ice cream for me! I don’t want to get FAT!”
Hee. I love the idea of him sitting with Gaustad and making comments like, “Geez, Goose are you going to eat ALL of that. Okay, well if you think that’s a good idea…”
Crunchy is so like those skinny women who eat, like, a celery stalk for lunch then loudly proclaim, while staring at your heaping bowl of chili, “Well I’ve had all the calories I’ll need today!” Poor Goose, stuck eating ice cream near him.
yogurt-covered raisin non-dairy blend-in
*shudder*