Feed on
Posts
Comments

Ducks vs. Senators - Game 5

Well, here we go. The Cup is in the building tonight, we’re seriously regretting having just eaten dinner, and NBC is attempting to defuse our tension by setting their highlight into to “Pirates Of The Caribbean” music. Oh come on, NBC — surely you can do better than that!

ACK! What is Doc wearing? He’s dressed like Captain Kangaroo tonight. ACK! What is Hullie wearing? What is this retro, skinny-tie look? IPB is split on his suit — Pookie likes how “over-the-top” the material is, Schnookie doesn’t — but the tie comes up a unanimous loser. Okay, NBC earns major kudos from us for replaying Hullie’s “The Ducks suck” commentary from the WCF, and Hull is forced to eat some crow on the air. (Although he does say he did the Ducks a favor and that they’ve played well ever since he made those comments. Actually, Hullie, the reason everyone was laughing at you about that was because they were playing well before you made those comments.)

The absolute pinnacle of unintentional comedy is reached as Pierre McGuire goes all Oprah on us in his interview with Alfredsson about the infamous “shooting at Nieder” incident. Alfie’s excuses fall on deaf ears with Hullie and Ray, who are merciless in their criticism of him.

Okay, here’s our prediction for tonight’s game: Pronger is definitely going to do something so staggeringly stupid to Alfredsson that no one will be able to believe it. We base this prediction on experience — in 2000 when the Flyers brought Eric Lindros back too soon from a concussion (presumably just so Bobby Clarke would have a scapegoat when his team blew a 3-1 lead to the Devils), everyone was understandably horrified, but Schnookie kept saying calmly, “Oh come now. What are the chances he actually gets further concussed?” So when the thought flitted into her head that there was no way Pronger would really go Bertuzzi on Alfredsson, she immediately realized there’s was actually no way he wouldn’t.

Pierre interviews Pronger and Pookie says afterwards, “All I could hear from Pierre was ‘touch’, ‘cup’ and ‘coming out’. Ewww.”

FIRST PERIOD

What’s this? No anthems tonight? The Anaheim fans don’t get a chance to outsing Ottawa on national television? That seems unfair.

19:34 Pookie perks up as NBC gives us the “Team Leaders” graphic, “Hey! I didn’t just think that said ‘Meat Leaders’. I think it’s because I’ve finally realized ‘meat’ isn’t ‘team’ backwards.”

18:36 We go to Pierre “between the glass”, but he’s actually just standing behind the Ducks bench. That seems so… skeevy.

18:28 Doc explains why Pierre’s on the bench; he says there are only about “six inches” between the two benches. Pierre should just suck in his breath and try to fit.

18:20 Preissing gets called for holding Moen on a charge down the ice after a long dump-in, and Pierre responds as though Preissing just killed a baby or something.

17:59 Teemu shoots high on a wide-open net, and Pookie spits chocolate chips everywhere when she screams, “How did he miss that?” Replay shows Volchenkov blocked Teemu’s shot.

16:42 Emery is whining that he’d like to see some goaltender interference called after he gets jostled in the crease; Pierre floats the shocking notion that none of us had considered: Emery isn’t going to get the benefit of the doubt after the dive in Game 4. Really Pierre? You think?

16:35 Volchenkov gets a hooking call for apparently just thinking about hooking. But… but… that’s the kind of call that goes against the Ducks.

16:19 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Just as the 5-on-3 expires, after some confident passing around an ever-collapsing perimeter, McDonald whips a shot through Phillips and it beats Emery five-hole. We are not at all surprised to feel compelled to say that was not a great goal for Emery to be giving up.

14:52 Eddie tells us Spezza is skating with Neil and Vermette; if Murray was a Devils coach he’d have been fired by now for the mismanagement of his top line.

14:21 Spezza gets called, justifiably, for holding the stick. Wait, this wasn’t the script. What happened to the overemotional Ducks we were all expecting?

13:51 It is noted that Pronger is not out on the PP after having been hit hard by Vermette, then literally stabbed in the back with a stick by Neil. Eddie: “Pierre, do you see Pronger on the bench?” Pookie, answering for Pierre: “I do see Pronger. I’m in his lap.”

11:50 The Ducks get called for icing, and Schnookie is surprised to realize it’s still only 1-0 — it feels like 4-0.

We come back from commercial and Pierre is broken-record-ing about Pronger not being on the bench. We get it Pierre. You’re on the bench and Pronger isn’t.

11:14 Spezza is ridiculously awful — he gets an easy tap-in opportunity to tie the game, but is slow enough to let Beauchemin block his shot. (Schnookie is proud to say that this is the fourth series we’ve watched the Senators in this year and she had to say on that play, “Who’s number 19? Is that Spezza?”)

9:41 Pahlsson sends us to commercial by taking an elbowing penalty on Kelly in front of the bench. We are eternally grateful we aren’t playing the “Without Pronger” Pierre McGuire drinking game, because if someone was trying to drink every time he says those words, they’d be suffering massive liver failure by now.

8:57 We would like to issue a moratorium on NBC’s announcers telling us Pronger’s not on the bench. Pookie: “At this point just tell us if he comes back.”

7:59 Somehow the Senators just miss wide of the far post after a huge save by Giggy.

7:30 Getzi draws what little ire we have for our SCF boyfriend by getting a clear-cut 2-on-1 from his own blue line coming off a great PK by the Ducks, but he is indecisive the entire way down the ice and runs himself completely out of room without ever passing or shooting. Doc jokes that America is the land of choice, but Getzi had too many choices. Pookie: “In Communist Russia he would have scored.”

6:00 Nieder is the only Duck on the ice right now who’s seen the book on Emery. The Penner/Perry/Getzi Line decides to fancy things up, but when the puck finds Nieder at the point he just rips it on goal as fast as he can. And Emery is predictably shaky stopping it. How hard is it to figure out at this point? Shoot. The. Puck.

5:43 We come back from commercial with the joyous news that Pronger is back! We are only happy about this because it means Pierre will have to think of something else to say.

4:59 Penner is strong as an ox. Perhaps too strong, though, and while he’s able to one-arm a Senator d-man off him, he also bulls the puck right off his own stick.

4:29 In perhaps the weakest show of “tough manliness” ever, Perry and Redden have a little sparring match at center ice that concludes with them nose-to-nose like the two pretty-boys they are. Perry is called for roughing, but both guys could have been penalized for sissiness.

2:42 Giggy makes a solid save on a tricky, sharp-angle shot, and the PK really smartly clears past a very strangely vacated Ottawa point.

2:19 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Baby Nieder storms down the ice on a 2-on-1 at the conclusion of another inspiring penalty kill (and seriously, what is up with the Senators getting burned twice like this in this period?), and just shovels the puck onto Emery, who crumbles in response. If the first goal looked soft, it’s hard to find the right word to describe this one. How does a Baby Nieder backhand find its way through an NHL-caliber goalie? (Answer: when that NHL-caliber goalie is as bad as Emery.)

1:50 Teemu lazily holds Kelly in the neutral zone and gets called for it.

1:10 Pierre splurts, “I don’t feel enough intensity from the Senators.” Pookie finishes his thought, “Let me go feel each one of them and gauge their intensity level for them.”

0:00 The period comes to a stirring end with a strong clear on the waning penalty kill. That was an emphatic 20 minutes from a Ducks team that clearly has no interest in going back to Ottawa.

SWEET! Pierre asks Fisher after the buzzer how the Sens feel, “because right now the body language just looks awful.”

FIRST INTERMISSION

Hullie and Ray take turns during this intermission making their heads explode with how horrified they are at the Senators repulsive first period. Hullie even hilariously calls back his anti-Ducks tirade. We really hate to admit this here, but we have thoroughly enjoyed how these two have blossomed during this playoffs. No, they’re hardly the NBA on TNT crew, but who is? I wish we could have these two in the VS studio instead of Jonesie and Engblom.

Oh, burn! Ray says the 2-0 lead is “looking insurmountable”. Don’t make us start thinking this is every which kind of over, Ray — there’s still a lot of hockey to be played! (Although we have to admit: we agree.)

SECOND PERIOD

Pierre apparently tried too hard to gauge the intensity of the Senators, because he is not welcome on their bench this period. He talks about seeing a lot of fight still in the Senators’ eyes, prompting Pookie to say, “He’s totally going to be standing there on the Ducks bench facing the Sens and holding up a boombox playing Peter Gabriel.”

19:02 Pahlsson meanders up the wing, decides to rip a slapshot on Emery, and despite making the save, Rayzor looks behind himself, startled that the stopped it.

18:34 Pierre praises Fisher for being the only Senator who has come hard for this game, and Doc comments it was good, then, that he was the guy Pierre interviewed at the end of the first. Yeah, because considering what an asshole Pierre was to Fisher, imagine how he’d have been to a player he was displeased with.

17:44 Nieder somehow manages to almost give up the puck twice deep in his zone, but is his usual humming, unflappable self and turns the sequence into a dazzling display of stickhandling.

17:05 Yikes! A bouncing puck goes goes behind Giggy’s net and Marchant brilliantly leaps to the post to stuff the Senators wraparound attempt.

16:06 Sounds of the Game tonight is our SCF boyfriend! This is not the first time we’ve said it, and we doubt it will be the last: Getzi is a dolt. (We appreciate the way that Perry blocked our view of Getzi’s teeth during the bulk of the talking part of that mic’d up.)

14:52 Further demonstrating his ox strength, Penner just shoves Kelly off the puck in the corner, whirls and throws a shot on goal. Emery snatches it in his glove and it looks for a moment like he really wants to whip the glove up in a Statue Of Stupidity, but at the last moment he remembers what the score is and keeps his glove at his side.

13:27 Doc winds up a lengthy discourse on which Ducks would automatically get their names on the Cup with a half-hearted, “of course we’re getting ahead of ourselves” disclaimer. He sounds as convinced of this outcome as we are.

12:12 Getzi, what’s wrong with you? Do you not want to be our boyfriend anymore? He gets another 2-on-1, but lets himself be bested by Kelly. (Ew! Poor Getzi is going to need to be deloused after this game — when he goes back to the bench Pierre says, with his mic live, “Nice shift Getzi.” Hands off, Pierre! He’s ours!)

10:14 While Eddie has a point that Ottawa is skating better this period, Pierre tries to smack him down by pointing out they only have 4 shots so far here. Pierre is so adamant that NBC’s viewers believe the Senators are a ginormous pile of puke that it sounds like he might climb up to the booth to start whaling on Eddie. Pookie says, “If Pierre keeps this up, I might find myself cheering for the Senators.”

9:19 Giggy is apparently allowed to handle the puck outside his trapezoid.

8:33 Eddie is vindicated as Alfie roofs a shot over Giggy after a really nifty little tip pass by Schaefer. (The shot looks like it got tipped up by Perry’s stupid decision to go down to block it.) Pierre immediately revises his opinion of the Senators by saying that goal was all the product of their excellent play in this period.

6:42 Pierre reports Murray and Spezza are having a catfight right now on the bench over a shooting opportunity Spezza opted not to pursue. We decide we’d like having Pierre on the bench very much if he could sidle over to the exchange and use his mic as a boom.

5:41 The Ducks look like they have already mentally popped those champagne corks.

5:33 A deflected shot from the point just rings off the pipe next to Giggy.

4:47 Redden leaves a drop pass in his own zone for an attacking Duck. Pookie: “Wade just looked like he was being controlled by me in NHL 2K7.”

4:16 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (And oh god, but does your heart ever break for a guy when that happens.) Phillips gets just distracted enough by Baby Nieder coming around behind the net, and, on an otherwise totally non-pressured play, fumbles the puck into Emery’s skates and it floats into the net. In our ensuing tizzy, we fail to note who is credited with the goal.

3:17 We admire the “Emery” chant going into commercial break. That third goal sucked, but he deserved some chanting on the first two.

3:14 Because that goal wasn’t enough of a momentum-killer, Schubert takes an idiotic elbowing penalty on Beauchemin immediately off a faceoff. Eddie’s outrage feels more appropriate for an infraction more in the vein of cannibalism.

2:16 Getzi coughs the puck up to Alfie, then does an atrocious job defending him down the ice, and Alfie beats Giggy up high. Getzi is having some decision-making issues tonight.

1:32 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now this is what you call a great hockey game! McDonald carries the puck into the zone, the Senators collapse deeper and deeper, and McDonald drops a sweet little pass back to Beauchemin… who gets a week to wind up and crank a monster slapshot that deflects off Volchenkov and in off the pipe.

0:00 After a period that wild, Pookie declares, “The third period can either be the craziest period ever, the dirtiest period ever, or the boringest period ever.” And now the IPB Machine needs a break because there were almost no stoppages in that frame. There is smoke coming off our keyboard right now.

SECOND INTERMISSION

We pay literally not a whit of attention to the intermission show. We guess our newfound fondness for Hullie and Ray has its limits. Your humble game diarist decides to take this break to try to catch up a little with the comment stream, and realizes we’ll need a lengthy ice-repair delay to even make a dent in it.

THIRD PERIOD

Doc completely cracks up while reading the sponsor scripts coming back from commercial. You don’t hear that very often.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We see it entering the bowels of the arena. Pant… pant… Our pulses quicken with the memory of being in the building to see the Devils win the Cup. (Oh, and Stanley, while we love you above all else, why the assy SUV? Couldn’t you have smaller wheels on your carrying case so you could fit in a Prius? If you need a Prius to try fitting into, we have several to offer.)

18:34 Eddie is confident the Senators have this game right where they want it.

17:46 Teemu gets the benefit of a very generous call when a Ducks icing is ridiculously waved off.

17:16 Meat Leaders! Alfredsson and McDonald have both acquitted themselves well tonight, according to the stat screen.

16:51 After a huge hit on Penner by Neil, Eddie snots that Neil “took 15 steps” before the hit. Doc shuts his whining down with a prim, “I’m surprised that after 7 you were still counting.”

16:13 Redden juggles a bouncing puck and turns it over to Teemu directly in front of Emery. Pierre says Wade hasn’t looked right in this series. Pookie: “In this series?”

15:59 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Schaefer is weak on the boards and lets the puck squirt loose to Nieder at the point. Nieder just shovels a perfect tippable shot toward Moen, who perfectly tips it past Emery.

14:17 The Ponda is reverberating with the single most fun chant in all of hockey fandom: “We want the Cup!”

14:12 Because he’s not sure what they’re saying and he’d like the fans to get louder with the aforementioned chant, Schubert takes a slashing penalty.

13:26 The Senators look utterly broken on this PK. For the sake of the quality of what might be the last 13+ minutes of hockey we get this season we hope they’re not throwing in the towel as badly as it looks.

12:37 Vermette makes a great yoink play on Beauchemin at the point, and, while Marchant’s crazy wheels almost let him catch up with him, he still hooks him from behind and a penalty shot is called. Doc’s head nearly explodes. (We would like to point out here that this “most exciting play in hockey” crap is just that: crap. We think penalty shots are overrated, and they’ve been further cheapened by the shootout. But we digress.) Then the building very nearly explodes when Giggy stops him.

12:01 Not at all happy with having failed to convert on the penalty shot, Vermette gets a great shot off that Giggy just barely gets a toe on.

11:00 Teemu leads the way on the slowest-moving most anticlimactic 3-on-2 in NHL history, and concludes the whole affair with a half-whiffed shot.

9:13 Doc winds up his story about how all these guys are playing with undisclosed injuries with that old story about John Madden declaring he didn’t stop hurting until the end of July in 2003. We are officially now really tired of that story. (Prior to this retelling, we were only officially quite tired of that story.)

7:33 Volchenkov gets a penalty for putting a fork into his own team. (Yeah, we said it!) Pierre pipes up with a funereal proclamation about the Senators’ spirits are broken. Pookie: “Pierre would so totally ask that, too. ‘Spezza, is your spirit broken?’”

5:34 The crowd sounds surprisingly subdued, and we get into a discussion of the timing of the fifth goal. It’s very hard to be in an “Oh my God we’re winning the Stanley Cup!” frenzy for that long. (We speak from experience. The Devils very kindly scored their icing goal in 2003 with about 3 1/2 minutes left in the third, then went on a penalty kill, then we were fed right into that final, lusty-cheering minute. That’s a long time to be in a sustained delirium.) Of course, the building is also a hell of a lot louder than it sounds on TV.

4:33 Eddie discusses how the Ducks were constructed, and says that last summer “Pronger showed up.” Yeah. He just “showed up”. It was like a virgin birth.

4:06 The Ducks get called for icing, and the crowd starts into the “final stretch” frenzy.

3:42 The “Oh my God, we’re winning the Cup!” cheers are supplanted briefly to boo Alfie at center ice. Nice!

3:00 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let ‘er rip, Ducks fans! Alfie, hounded by our SCF boyfriend and rattled by the booing, blindly tosses the puck straight up the center of his zone and Perry is there to skate right into it and rip the one-timer right through Volchenkov and Emery.

2:29 We will take another moment to impose our Devils fandom on this game diary and say we’re flashing back so happily to 2003. That was the awesomest day of our fan lives.

1:00 It’s our last minute of hockey this season. Sad.

0:53 The whistle blows as the puck is frozen on the boards by the penalty boxes; we discuss how incredible it was how the Senators really rolled over in this game.

0:30 Doc tells us about Marchant’s t-shirts again. We roll our eyes. It wasn’t Marchant’s shirts that made this happen. Unless the Senators were all wearing t-shirts that said “Listless, Lifeless, Heartless, Gutless”. We normally think Doc can do no wrong, but he should shut up right now and let us listen to the crowd.

0:00 Let the party begin!

What in the hell are they playing on the PA? It’s like a triumph march as performed by a polka band. Amidst all the chaos we get to see Nieder. Huh. He looks distinctly like a guy who’s been here before. Baby Nieder, meanwhile, is crying because he’s pretty confident now that he knows what it takes to win just one that he’ll never get as many as Big Nieder. We admire Baby CrunchyPickles’ chutzpah — he is right behind Nieder in the handshake line, all “Yeah, I’m important. My brother’s an all-star.”

We find out now that the game-winner (the Phillips gaffe) was credited to Moen.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Justice is served, as much as it can be after the Great Conn Smythe Heist in 2003, and Nieder gets the Smythe. He darts away with it, then races back for the Cup, which is just making its way onto the ice. (In 2003 we were in the second-to-last row at the CAA for this moment. And let us just say, the Cup is so bright and so shiny you can see the engraving on it from all the way up there.)

In awarding the Cup, Bettman announces that the Ducks are the first west-coast team to win it. Schnookie: “And that makes him ‘Pierre McGuire’ in his pants.”

Gary looks like he wants to give Nieder instructions on how to lift the Cup, and Nieder’s all, “Um, I think I’ve figured this one out by now.”

The Cup order here makes no sense at all. Nieder hands it off, after a blink of an eye, to Baby Nieder (and, well, he’s the reason Nieder’s there at all, and Nieder’s the reason the Cup is there at all…), who gives it to Pronger (NBC really could have cut away to spare us all that sight), and only then does it go to Teemu. We are not big-time Ducks fans by any stretch of the imagination, but it seems Teemu should have been right after Nieder.

We cut away from the Cup hoisting to get an interview with Pierre and Teemu, and Teemu is crying so hard that he demolishes the unintentional comedy scale. And while we’re sure laughing hard, we wouldn’t mind watching the Cup get skated some more.

We cut away from the Teemu interview in time to see what everyone tuned in for: Motzko with the Cup. Then we see Baby Crunchy with it, and we are positive that somewhere out there Crunchy is crying so hard he re-demolishes the unintentional comedy scale. (We are, needless to say, peeved we missed out on Getzi with the Cup. Although maybe we should thank NBC for sparing us the sight of those teeth reflected on Lord Stanley.)

We want to praise the Ducks here for not letting the families on the ice to skate with the Cup. That sucked so bad that Carolina did that last year. Having been lucky enough to witness our team win it in person (have we mentioned that yet?), we can say it’s a very, very weird thing as a fan. It’s the happiest thing in the world, and while the guys skate with the Cup it’s all about interacting with the fans, but as the players start drifting off to hug their families at the benches, and the scrubs and scratches and suits all start getting their chance to lift it, the whole thing stops being about the fans. The players all start turning back into real people (if that makes any sense) and the celebration turns into their party. So to have had the families on the ice from the start, to make it immediately about the players’ personal relationships instead of taking those first few celebratory moments to make it about their relationship with the fans, just seemed wrong.

Wait, did we say the unintentional comedy scale had been broken by Teemu crying? We were wrong. The Prongers appear for an interview with Pierre, and Lauren jumps in to kiss Chris and coo, “I love you so much!” and Pierre slimes, “She does love you very much.”

In our assessment of this game, we decide this was a weird game. It was awesome, there was great action, but it never really seemed, in our opinions, to have the intensity of a Cup-clinching game. We agree it’s because the Senators barely showed up. Schnookie snarks, “You just knew when that first penalty was called that they were going to put in that kind of game. It makes you say, ‘Why’d you bother winning Game 3?’” Boomer snaps, “Why’d you bother winning the New Jersey series?” And on that note, happy off-season.

777 Responses to “Ducks vs. Senators - Game 5”

  1. on June 6, 2007 at 8:01 pm Niekon

    gimme gimme gimme!!!!

    don’t care about all of the stories… just give me the puck drop… and someone worthy of singing the national anthems…


  2. on June 6, 2007 at 8:02 pm grace

    Here we go! (Super Mario voice.)


  3. on June 6, 2007 at 8:03 pm Earl Sleek

    WaHOOOO!!! (Mario 64 super-leap cry)


  4. on June 6, 2007 at 8:03 pm american oil

    Yippee……!! Gasbag alert……………!!!!


  5. on June 6, 2007 at 8:03 pm Mags

    neeeervoooouuuuus.


  6. on June 6, 2007 at 8:04 pm Mags

    ok Don’s blue/black and white circley stripey suit is officially one of the worst ones he has


  7. on June 6, 2007 at 8:05 pm grace

    I am sooo appreciative of commercial breaks now. Watch game. IPB fix. Watch game. IPB fix.


  8. on June 6, 2007 at 8:07 pm Earl Sleek

    About commercial breaks: totally. I didn’t watch a single game on TV “live” this year (regular season). I need the Tivo time to skip past commercials (first) and Hayward analysis (later).

    Playoffs I started watching live, only so I could still answer the phone or the door or anything resembling human interactive behavior.

    I hate commercials, but they are nice now.


  9. on June 6, 2007 at 8:07 pm american oil

    Ok…starting to freak out now…..

    ….glass of wine….. check…..

    …bottle of wine….check……

    ….additional bottle of wine…..check…..

    ……tacos in honour of california….check…..


  10. on June 6, 2007 at 8:08 pm american oil

    got spammed….


  11. on June 6, 2007 at 8:08 pm Mags

    Jiggy just dropped something (his glove I think) before he even got on the ice. Way to go dude.


  12. on June 6, 2007 at 8:08 pm Pookie

    Hey everyone! While Schnookie writes the diary tonight I’m going to try my hardest to keep up with the comments. But since I’m going to be co-authoring the post (read: shouting out lame one-liners while Schnookie writes actual commentary on the game) and watching the game, I might get behind. So if you say something awesomely clever, unbelievable insightful or just downright hilarious and I don’t respond, it’s not because I don’t like you. And if I don’t say anything awesomely clever, unbelievably insightful or downright hilarious, it’s because I’m saving all my mojo for the game diary.


  13. on June 6, 2007 at 8:09 pm grace

    Did anyone else hear a word of Pronger’s interview?


  14. on June 6, 2007 at 8:09 pm Earl Sleek

    Uh, yeah, that’s my excuse too. I like to yell things out, and it totally hurts my commenting game.


  15. on June 6, 2007 at 8:10 pm Earl Sleek

    Did anyone else hear a word of Pronger’s interview?

    I only heard the word “discipline”, and immediately knew he was lying.


  16. on June 6, 2007 at 8:10 pm grace

    And IBP, please don’t let the little “win one for Teemu” segment anger you!


  17. on June 6, 2007 at 8:11 pm Pookie

    Earl, obviously you and I need stenographers to take down all our outbursts in comment form.


  18. on June 6, 2007 at 8:12 pm grace

    That Bon Jovi Cup commercial makes me weep. I’m an emotional wreck right now.


  19. on June 6, 2007 at 8:13 pm alejandro

    That bonjovi song’s opening bars has me thinking “happy together”, not whatever it actually is.


  20. on June 6, 2007 at 8:13 pm Mags

    Grace, I completely broke down during the anthems. Emotional wreckage: check


  21. on June 6, 2007 at 8:14 pm alejandro

    Wait, did they say if parros is gonna play?


  22. on June 6, 2007 at 8:14 pm Mags

    COME ON ANAHEIM!!!!


  23. on June 6, 2007 at 8:14 pm Earl Sleek

    Ooh, Kunitz is in, too! I was actually doing work today and missed that update.


  24. on June 6, 2007 at 8:15 pm american oil

    Baby Crunchy….Baby Crunchy…..do we have confirmation????


  25. on June 6, 2007 at 8:16 pm alejandro

    Dammit, I didn’t see parros on that bench pan just there.


  26. on June 6, 2007 at 8:16 pm grace

    Mags, NBC stinks–no anthems.

    NBC double stinks! Pan over bench but cut off before we can confirm Parros.


  27. on June 6, 2007 at 8:16 pm Meg

    No Baby Crunchy


  28. on June 6, 2007 at 8:17 pm Pookie

    Based on the line-ups NBC gave us: no Baby Crunchy and no Parros.


  29. on June 6, 2007 at 8:17 pm Mags

    Nope, no Parros sighting.

    The loveliness that is Vermette’s hair just got infinitely diminished by the fact that he is on the line with Neil.


  30. on June 6, 2007 at 8:17 pm Earl Sleek

    Lineup sheet.

    No Parros, no Crunchy Jr., no Motzko, no Carter, no Jackman.

    Pronger, Kunitz, and Thornton come in.


  31. on June 6, 2007 at 8:18 pm american oil

    until pronger kills Alfie


  32. on June 6, 2007 at 8:18 pm Mags

    I am distraught. No really. Carlyle is not in the BabyCrunchyNation or the MotzkoNation.

    How did Teemu not get that goal?


  33. on June 6, 2007 at 8:19 pm grace

    A 5-on-3 for the DUCKS???? Such a thing can happen???


  34. on June 6, 2007 at 8:20 pm Earl Sleek

    Holy crap! A 5-on-3?!!! (I believe) it’s Anaheim’s 2nd of the playoffs, and they’ve had 13 go against them.


  35. on June 6, 2007 at 8:20 pm american oil

    it is UNHEARD OF….


  36. on June 6, 2007 at 8:20 pm grace

    WoOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


  37. on June 6, 2007 at 8:20 pm Meg

    Yay!


  38. on June 6, 2007 at 8:20 pm american oil

    whooooooooooo

    Earl…you still breathing…..


  39. on June 6, 2007 at 8:20 pm Mags

    YES! HAPPY!


  40. on June 6, 2007 at 8:21 pm Earl Sleek

    McDOOOOONNNNNNAAAAAALLLLLLLDDDDD!!!

    He wants that Smythe, don’t he?


  41. on June 6, 2007 at 8:21 pm grace

    THAT is how you 5-on-3!!!!


  42. on June 6, 2007 at 8:22 pm Earl Sleek

    and they stay on the PP!!! Webbed-foot on throat, Ducks!


  43. on June 6, 2007 at 8:22 pm Earl Sleek

    Wait, both penalties expired? Odd.


  44. on June 6, 2007 at 8:22 pm Mags

    No they don’t.

    Wow, that was uninspired of me.


  45. on June 6, 2007 at 8:24 pm alejandro

    Love the soccer, Pahlsson!!!!!!11one


  46. on June 6, 2007 at 8:24 pm grace

    What the Soccer?


  47. on June 6, 2007 at 8:24 pm Mike

    Webbed-foot on throat?? Classic. Almost seems cute in a way.


  48. on June 6, 2007 at 8:24 pm grace

    I love Pahlsson.


  49. on June 6, 2007 at 8:25 pm Niekon

    Pahlsson for the corner kick… Bend it Like Pahlsson…


  50. on June 6, 2007 at 8:25 pm Earl Sleek

    Ah, it was 1 second after it became 5-on-4.

    Well, now there’s a PP.


  51. on June 6, 2007 at 8:25 pm hockeygirl

    Blasted. CC and I have bet a cheese pizza on whether we can make it through the game profanity free.


  52. on June 6, 2007 at 8:25 pm Mags

    I don’t really like Pronger, but I love that little “are you kidding me” look on his face after being hit just now.


  53. on June 6, 2007 at 8:27 pm Niekon

    Neil with a run at Pronger’s head? Can he even reach Pronger’s head?


  54. on June 6, 2007 at 8:27 pm american oil

    poor hockey girl…..you are gonna screw yourself out of that one…..


  55. on June 6, 2007 at 8:27 pm american oil

    Niekon…only with a really LONG stick…


  56. on June 6, 2007 at 8:29 pm Pookie

    HG: I mentioned your bet to Boomer who promptly responded “Fuck that shit.”


  57. on June 6, 2007 at 8:31 pm Earl Sleek

    FRENCHIE!!! Woo!


  58. on June 6, 2007 at 8:32 pm alejandro

    Beuch!


  59. on June 6, 2007 at 8:32 pm grace

    Beauch just atoned for one of his earlier own goals.


  60. on June 6, 2007 at 8:33 pm grace

    I am dizzy.


  61. on June 6, 2007 at 8:33 pm Mags

    Beauch, vous etes vraiment beau


  62. on June 6, 2007 at 8:34 pm american oil

    mags…..you love who???


  63. on June 6, 2007 at 8:34 pm grace

    Oui, oui!


  64. on June 6, 2007 at 8:35 pm Pookie

    Earl, webbed-foot on throat = :^::::::::::::::


  65. on June 6, 2007 at 8:35 pm Mags

    I said Beauch, you are truly beautiful. You know, a play on his name like? Whatever, I speak too many languages.


  66. on June 6, 2007 at 8:35 pm american oil

    Those Nitros are ugly. Sorry to anyone who may have purchased them….


  67. on June 6, 2007 at 8:35 pm Earl Sleek

    uh oh. a kill without sammy.


  68. on June 6, 2007 at 8:36 pm Mags

    Crappy penalty. That elbow was so not intentional.


  69. on June 6, 2007 at 8:40 pm grace

    I am dead. I am dead. I have died. I am dead.


  70. on June 6, 2007 at 8:40 pm alejandro

    This is so the greatest game! End to end, chances etc… Note to NHL, you ARE cool, so act like it!


  71. on June 6, 2007 at 8:40 pm Earl Sleek

    Whheeeewwww. I’m having trouble typing because my fingers are shaky. Come here, beer.


  72. on June 6, 2007 at 8:41 pm Pookie

    Steady as she goes, Earl. There’s still a lot of hockey left to be played!


  73. on June 6, 2007 at 8:41 pm hockeygirl

    AO - Thanks for the vote of confidence.

    Pookie - Tell Boomer she’s a bad example for me.


  74. on June 6, 2007 at 8:42 pm grace

    *gasps back to life, a la Paul Kariya* Pronger is back!


  75. on June 6, 2007 at 8:42 pm Mags

    I’m so glad my season is over and I can drink without worrying how it’ll affect my performance because I’d be dead right now if it wasn’t for alcohol.


  76. on June 6, 2007 at 8:44 pm Earl Sleek

    B.S. refs. Stop looking at the scoreboard.


  77. on June 6, 2007 at 8:44 pm Mags

    Pronger: Now with extra padding.


  78. on June 6, 2007 at 8:45 pm KKM

    I love the Ducks’ attitude: “Sticks? We don’t need no stinkin’ sticks….” The soccer looked great (and is great incentive for the pond hockey ducklings coaches out there to offer to motivate young uns to do their staking and puck handling drills so early in the morning)….and Gigi just looked like a bad ass setting up to cut off the angle stick or no….doesn’t hurt that his defense men seem so willing to make great saves, too….Still–it’s all a nice nod to the rol of basic skills, and will look great on the post-game montage…. :)


  79. on June 6, 2007 at 8:47 pm Mags

    MORE HAPPY!


  80. on June 6, 2007 at 8:47 pm Earl Sleek

    R. NNNNEEIIIDDERRMMEYERRRRR!!!!!!

    Who’s the slacker brother NOW, Bi-yatch!!


  81. on June 6, 2007 at 8:47 pm Mike

    christ, nice one emery….awful.


  82. on June 6, 2007 at 8:48 pm Meg

    I do love it when Emery lets in goals like that.


  83. on June 6, 2007 at 8:49 pm Pookie

    HG: Boomer says, “I’m damned glad to hear it!” She’s such a great example for us all!


  84. on June 6, 2007 at 8:49 pm Earl Sleek

    Ex TRREEEEEEEMMMEE ly soft call there. You owe us in the 2nd, refs.


  85. on June 6, 2007 at 8:49 pm KKM

    As a curious observer, I can’t help but wonder, where do the Sens fans go to blog these days? ; )


  86. on June 6, 2007 at 8:51 pm KKM

    (Not that I’d want to be seen blogging with them, just that I’m feeling sorry for them….I’m a softie, too…)


  87. on June 6, 2007 at 8:52 pm Mags

    The first period is over already? I bet the Hockey Gods are going to make period 2 reeeeaaaally long to punish me for saying that.


  88. on June 6, 2007 at 8:53 pm hockeygirl

    Pookie: Tell Boomer she owes ME a cheese pizza because I couldn’t last 30 minutes without a potty mouth.


  89. on June 6, 2007 at 8:53 pm Pookie

    KKM (if that really is your name…), I love that you spell Jiggy “Gigi”! And that whole “having awesome d-men” totally does help. (Oh, and Boomer says “Feel better!” See, Hockeygirl, Boomer can sometimes complete sentences without swearing!)


  90. on June 6, 2007 at 8:54 pm Earl Sleek

    So far so good. PK’s working, and Sammy was on the ice for goal #2!


  91. on June 6, 2007 at 8:55 pm Niekon

    Robbie making his run for the Conn Smythe…


  92. on June 6, 2007 at 8:56 pm grace

    Okay, I am temporarily loving Brett Hull for the raspberry he just blew.


  93. on June 6, 2007 at 8:56 pm KKM

    Had to take a guess on Gigi–and I’ll guess I’ll stick with it, rater than play the spelling bee “can I start again” card….I sure wasn’t going to guess on how to spell his *whole* name, and just ’cause I’m sitting at a computer with access to nearly the entire repository of mankind’s knowledge, that hardly seemed like a reason to look it up….if NBC hadn’t given me a special profile on the guy and flashing red viewer guide keys to spelling on the whole time, it clearly wasn’t something I needed to know…. : ) And I croak back to Boomer, “Thanks.” : )


  94. on June 6, 2007 at 8:56 pm Pookie

    KKM, we do actually have a few Sens fans in the woodwork around here — Bill? Sherry? you guys here yet? — but for the most part, I think their blogs are probably a little sad right now. Although, I guess, not as sad as Devils blogs, which have been, admittedly, silent for, uh… weeks. Sigh. When does next season start?


  95. on June 6, 2007 at 8:57 pm Earl Sleek

    OK, I’m confused. Why the hell is Brett Hull so scared about Anaheim fans? Seriously? Did they send him a couple of e-mails?

    I just get the sense he’s seriously backtracking, as if he’s been genuinely threatened. But from Anaheim fans?

    I don’t buy it. Hull’s a wussbag.


  96. on June 6, 2007 at 8:57 pm Mags

    I wish I could watch Brett instead of Don’s scary suit.


  97. on June 6, 2007 at 8:57 pm KKM

    Ah, yes…next season….hope for the Eastern conference springs eternal…. : )


  98. on June 6, 2007 at 8:58 pm KKM

    Enjoy the intermission, all–time to get food to fortify for what Mags has ensured will be a long night… : )


  99. on June 6, 2007 at 8:59 pm grace

    I hear ya, Earl. I’m not buying it, either. But the raspberry seemed so spontaneous–I will selectively just buy the raspberry.


  100. on June 6, 2007 at 9:00 pm Pookie

    Schnookie here speaking as Pookie while Pookie proofreads the diary…

    KKM, you mysterious stranger! What a thrill to meet you here!

    In re: the intermission show, Ray and Hullie are in fine form. Who knew, after the tepid way they started these playoffs, that they would really shape into a delightful pair of American-team homers.


  101. on June 6, 2007 at 9:01 pm grace

    I love this FiOS commercial kid. LOVE. HIM.


  102. on June 6, 2007 at 9:01 pm hockeygirl

    Sherry is an abandonneur, choosing instead to watch the Hamilton/Hershey but I’m here dammit. Kinda. Maybe? I need more pickles.


  103. on June 6, 2007 at 9:02 pm alejandro

    Seriously on the Hull thing, was it Cherry’s scolding, angry ‘terrible’ emails that made him develop humility and light-footedness when the subject of a teams’ poor play comes up?


  104. on June 6, 2007 at 9:02 pm Earl Sleek

    I guess the positive for CrunchyNation, MotzkoNation, CarterTerritory, JackmanRegion, and ParrosDistrict, is that if the Ducks can hold on to that lead, those guys will probably look pretty sharp in their healthy scratch formalwear.


  105. on June 6, 2007 at 9:02 pm Mags

    KKM, have a peanutbutter cookie (the good ones, not the ones I turned into pucks)

    Don Cherry needs to lay off my continent. Don, I happen to know I could personally kick your fucking ass at field hockey and I could probably take some of you at ice hockey. Bastard.


  106. on June 6, 2007 at 9:03 pm Pookie

    Hockeygirl, I can’t believe I forgot to include you in the Sens camp! I mean, you’ve only tried to convert us over to their side how many times this Spring? Hee hee!


  107. on June 6, 2007 at 9:05 pm Meg

    He’s going on about Europeans again, I take it? God, that schtick got old ages ago.


  108. on June 6, 2007 at 9:05 pm alejandro

    Parros is a fan favorite, he’s probably a ParrosCounty.


  109. on June 6, 2007 at 9:07 pm Mags

    Meg, yes he is. I hate that the only broadcast I can get in Europe is CBC and I have to listen to Don harp on us.

    ParrosCountry sounds cool.


  110. on June 6, 2007 at 9:07 pm Kristin

    Ooh! I wish I had thought of playing the “without Pronger” drinking game. Can y’all come up with a drinking game for me for the second period?

    And, hello everyone, I was lurking for the first period but may jump into the fray for the second. Unless you come up with a good drinking game for me!!!


  111. on June 6, 2007 at 9:07 pm Pookie

    CrunchyNation, MotzkoNation, CarterTerritory, JackmanRegion, and ParrosDistrict

    The new day starts at 8:00 pm here on WordPress, and sorry folks, but no one need enter the implied “Comment of the Day” contest; Earl just won it hands down!


  112. on June 6, 2007 at 9:08 pm Mags

    County. I cannot spell.


  113. on June 6, 2007 at 9:10 pm alejandro

    Ok, I’ve got a trifecta going on here. HNIC on the windows media player, NBC on the TV, and Carroll and Severyn on the radio.


  114. on June 6, 2007 at 9:10 pm Earl Sleek

    Unless you come up with a good drinking game for me!!!

    This one’s not heavy drinking, but you can play the Scotty Niedermayer drinking game. Every time he touches the opponent’s goal line, you drink.

    With a 2-0 lead, though, I don’t know if it’ll be a lot, but over the course of a season, it’s quite the pastime.


  115. on June 6, 2007 at 9:15 pm Earl Sleek

    Good work, Toddy Marchant! You hobbit, you!


  116. on June 6, 2007 at 9:16 pm Pookie

    Kristin, you could drink when Pierre talks when he shouldn’t.


  117. on June 6, 2007 at 9:16 pm grace

    IPB, I can’t wait to see what you do with that Mic’d Up.


  118. on June 6, 2007 at 9:16 pm Kristin

    I know there have been some lame “sounds of the game” lately, but that was the worst yet!


  119. on June 6, 2007 at 9:17 pm Meg

    So basically, drink whenever Pierre speaks?


  120. on June 6, 2007 at 9:17 pm hockeygirl

    Sheesh. I’m busy running the Official HG Text Support Line to our Sherry. If I wasn’t, I would be continuing to try to convert you playettes by flashing my anklets and toe rings at you while the soothing sounds of Tupac drift from the stereo.

    (My apologies to the rest of you who will not get this)


  121. on June 6, 2007 at 9:18 pm grace

    Oh Penner.


  122. on June 6, 2007 at 9:18 pm Kristin

    *takes a drink*


  123. on June 6, 2007 at 9:19 pm grace

    Pahlsson wants the Smythe.


  124. on June 6, 2007 at 9:19 pm Mags

    Hockeygirl, I officially really really don’t understand that one.

    I don’t know if anyone has ever mentioned this before, I sure haven’t beacuse I sorta don’t like Pronger, but his nose is just so… Prongerish. I’ve never seen anything like it.

    I swear I’m trying to concentrate on the game.


  125. on June 6, 2007 at 9:19 pm Earl Sleek

    *takes a long-winded overexuberant drink*


  126. on June 6, 2007 at 9:22 pm hockeygirl

    Mags - If you did understand that one, I would give you all of my IPB Rewards Points.


  127. on June 6, 2007 at 9:22 pm american oil

    sorry…I am back….gasp…..I had to catch up on all the past posts…


  128. on June 6, 2007 at 9:23 pm Kristin

    *snorts drink out through nose after reading earls’ comment*


  129. on June 6, 2007 at 9:23 pm Pookie

    My plan was to catch up on comments during the commercials. That was, I’m thinking, a plan appropriate for the “old NHL”. What’s with this end-to-end, no-stoppages hockey?


  130. on June 6, 2007 at 9:24 pm Mags

    Hockeygirl, do you want me to watch this game or not. Because I am very, very competitive and I will do all in my power to find out exactly what it means.

    Earl, you made me snort beer all over my keyboard.


  131. on June 6, 2007 at 9:25 pm Earl Sleek

    *unnecessarily chimes in with another drink*


  132. on June 6, 2007 at 9:25 pm hockeygirl

    Mags - Do it.

    Note to IPB: You can’t tell her or else the throwdown is void.


  133. on June 6, 2007 at 9:26 pm american oil

    oooohhhhhhhh…not so happy….


  134. on June 6, 2007 at 9:26 pm Mike

    Oh my…that was pretty Alfredsson! A pulse, it’s all I ask…


  135. on June 6, 2007 at 9:26 pm Mags

    BUGGER


  136. on June 6, 2007 at 9:28 pm Earl Sleek

    oof. if the 4th line is going to get scored on, they could certainly have got scored on with Parros on the ice.


  137. on June 6, 2007 at 9:28 pm Earl Sleek

    Or me, for that matter.


  138. on June 6, 2007 at 9:29 pm american oil

    Natalia claims she would have been a solid d-woman and they wouldnt’ have scored.


  139. on June 6, 2007 at 9:31 pm KKM

    Mags, I should have had a peanut butter cookie….I got back from the kitchen just in time to see the Sens goal….Sigh. Is this where I drink? : p


  140. on June 6, 2007 at 9:31 pm Kristin

    hahahahahahahahahahahaha! you suck emery!


  141. on June 6, 2007 at 9:31 pm american oil

    ohhhh………yeah


  142. on June 6, 2007 at 9:31 pm Mags

    MORE MORE HAPPY!!!


  143. on June 6, 2007 at 9:31 pm Mike

    Wow, in south america, they’d murder you for that Phillips.


  144. on June 6, 2007 at 9:31 pm Earl Sleek

    WWWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

    Did he just see that goal light flashing and think he was supposed to put it in the net, so as to not look like a glitch?


  145. on June 6, 2007 at 9:32 pm alejandro

    OMGWTFBBQ!


  146. on June 6, 2007 at 9:32 pm Meg

    Well that was disasterous right there.

    I actually feel a bit bad for Emery on that one.


  147. on June 6, 2007 at 9:32 pm KKM

    I didn’t think I’d drunk *that* much!!!! :)


  148. on June 6, 2007 at 9:32 pm Mags

    If he was on a European soccer squad he’d be dead now.


  149. on June 6, 2007 at 9:33 pm alejandro

    What?? they don’t do own goals in Hockey?


  150. on June 6, 2007 at 9:33 pm Earl Sleek

    It’s great how all the announcers are depressed. It sounds like Pierre lost his new puppy.


  151. on June 6, 2007 at 9:33 pm Mike

    Wait, was it emery or phillips who messed that up? I thought phillips…who knows. I surrender. Ducks win. Good god.


  152. on June 6, 2007 at 9:33 pm Mags

    Hockeygirl, if it was your intention to get me to download LL Cool J you have succeeded. I doubt that was it though.


  153. on June 6, 2007 at 9:34 pm Pookie

    Wow. Just wow. Alejandro, you hit the nail on the head! We really have to thank Neikon for discovering the ideal reaction for a situation like that.


  154. on June 6, 2007 at 9:34 pm