Until VS gets their act in gear and actually starts airing the NHL Awards Show they promised us at 7:00, we’ll just have to keep you occupied, Gentle Reader, with the tragic and exhilarating tale of the Great NHL Awards Show Debacle of 2003 (which is probably just going to disappoint, but here goes anyway):
We have over the years tried our hardest to avoid the NHL Awards show because it is filled with so many cringe-worthy moments. And not cringing it’s-so-bad-it’s-funny moments. Cringing it’s-so-bad-I-want-to-scrub-my-brain-and-forget-I-ever-liked-this-sport moments. However, in the 5 or 6 times we have actually sat down to watch them, no moment was more cringe-worthy that the Great NHL Awards Show Debacle of 2003. Some history: We had a crazy, crazy ex-roommate, whom we shall call X to protect her identity. X had many foibles (some lovable, most not) but among them was her constant badgering of people into making bets with her. She always — always — won the bets she made, especially the hockey bets. And what was especially annoying about the fact that she won all of her hockey bets was that she was a relative newbie. She would propose something utterly outlandish, and we, the more tenured fans, would say, “Well, there’s no way that could happen,” accept the bet, then find ourselves later having our faces rubbed in it after the impossible happened. And for all that she had tons of practice winning bets, she had yet to learn how to be gracious in victory. (And heaven forbid you should opt out when she barked during a hockey argument, “Want to bet?” — Schnookie once tried that in a discussion of Pando’s short-handed goal totals. Schnookie thought he had two, but X was confident he only had one. When X screamed, “Wanna bet?”, Schnookie backed down and said, “No, you’re probably right.” “NO!” X turned purple with rage, “Do you want to bet me?” Schnookie, meekly: “Um, no I don’t. I’m wrong. You’re right.” X, frothing at the mouth: “Then tell me when!” Schnookie, confused: “What?” X, psychotic with rage: “Tell me when Pando scored that second short-handed goal. What game was it? TELL ME WHEN!”)
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