The twelfth in our 118-part series.
Blockbuster Trades
In the absence of any of the promised blockbuster moves this weekend, today’s reason celebrates those huge deals that keep you buzzing for days. The Devils don’t often make blockbuster deals. Instead, Lou makes a minor move in the summer and then tantalizes us by calling a press conference to say, “I think the fans will be very pleasantly surprised with this acquisition.” Then a day later we find out the team picked up Pascal Rheaume. Now, turns out we were pleasantly surprised with how Rheaume played, but come on. Pascal Rheaume? Other teams get Joe Thornton or Roberto Luongo or Ryan Smyth and we get Rheume?
But there was one trade that let us revel in the glory that is a giant deal: Jason Arnott and Randy McKay for Joe Nieuwendyk and Jamie Langenbrunner. That season saw us working in the same office (can you believe an employer was stupid enough to agree to have the two of us working in the same cubicle sea?) which was about 5 minutes from our house. Schnookie had gone home for the day, while Pookie was still stuck at work, risking disciplinary action by constantly refreshing ESPN’s Tradetracker. When the news came in she panickedly thought, “I need someone to talk to about this!” And as if on cue, there was Schnookie, frantic from her drive back to the office. That’s how great that trade was. Schnookie willingly came back to work just to say to Pookie, “Can you believe someone was stupid enough to take both Arnott and McKay and give us live bodies in return?!?”
What’s more fun than spending the first few days after the trade in a tizzy over the potential effects the move could have on the team, when it’s all still relatively an unknown? And then what’s more fun than spending the rest of the season assessing who got the better end of the bargain? And then what’s more fun than using that ol’ 20/20 hindsight to know that Randy McKay’s giddy-up quit giddying-up almost instantaneously upon arrival in Dallas, while Langenbrunner has become the epitome of True Devil, being a major contributor to the 2003 Cup? Really, just in general, blockbuster deals — what’s not to love?
Interchangeable Parts, Blockbuster Blog.
Interchangeable Parts, Blockbuster Blog.
icing, Interchangeable Parts’ hero. :P
I remember my best friend – who is not a big hockey fan – call me up and mentioned he saw the trade on the ESPN news ticker. I dropped my phone and was immediately confused.
Fortunately, the trade was a success, as you have pointed out. Nieuwendyk provided serviceable, uh, service at center (not to mention his 500th career goal) while Langenbrunner blossomed in the Devils’ system to become a crucial part of the team even to this day.
You are also right that it was the last “blockbuster” trade the Devils were involved in. Unless you count the Malakhov deal which allowed the Devils to get under the salary cap literally right before this season started; that was crucial in hindsight.
*sobs quietly in the corner*
Aw, Patty, you know, we did think of you when writing this, and not just in a “ha ha, sucker!” kind of way. We knew it would be painful for you, but… well, life’s not fair. Sometimes you get Langer, and sometimes you get Randy McKay! :P
In a testament to Jamie Langenbrunner and how apparently appealing he is, Elly, who hates all Devils equally, has a soft spot for him. To the extent that she has dubbed him “my little Langenbrunner” and cannot be convinced to look at his actual stats and realize that he is, in fact, not little at all.
We have a friend whose mother is in some graphic design type line of work and worked on a bunch of Stars cards back in the day. As a joke she mailed us a bunch for Christmas and one of Elly’s happened to be Langenbrunner – so she put it up on her wall and has not stopped squeeing since.
That’s okay, Pookie. As soon as I saw the title, I knew what you were going to be talking about. It’s water under the bridge, I guess.
When that trade happened, I was sincerely worried that it was going to cause me to lose interest in hockey, since I was so in love with both of those guys.
But if the only thing that trade did was prove to me how great hockey was, by showing me that NOTHING could derail my new love for the game, it was kind of worth it.
Langer is, like, my forgotten Devil. For the longest time he’d be literally the last guy on the roster I could remember. Then, after last year’s free agency, he basically just declared, “I’m a True Devil”, and I was like, “Aw, Langer!” (Of course, it helps that he skated about 98% of last season with Zajac and Parise…)
But if the only thing that trade did was prove to me how great hockey was, by showing me that NOTHING could derail my new love for the game, it was kind of worth it.
As much as those kinds of trades suck, it is nice to be able to look back at them and at least be happy to know you really do love your team. I felt that way when the Devils traded Rolston for Claude Lemieux, and again when they traded Souray. (Granted, both of those trades let directly to Cup wins, but still. It wasn’t like I knew that was going to happen at the time!)
…and cannot be convinced to look at his actual stats and realize that he is, in fact, not little at all.
That is so true! I still have trouble believing he’s over 6 feet tall. And a grown-up.
I still have trouble believing he’s over 6 feet tall.
I think the whole world is lying to us. Really he’s small and adorable like we have somehow been led to believe all along. I mean how else do you explain it?
You just wanna tickle him under his little chin-chin, don’t you? :P
Claude Lemieux — ick.
Claude Lemieux — ick.
Seconded!
Thirded!
And I didn’t, Patty, until you mentioned it :P
GUUS HIDDINKKK MAGS GUUUUUSSSS!!!
I know I’m a day late but I had a full day of sad revolting work. AND BILL FUCKING BRYSON MAN.
I am fucking knackered. I’m going to actually spend tonight watching dvds and knitting my scarf rather than getting addicted to this thing. I hope I’ll catch it up with some hot tea and an early rest!
Jordi! You’re not old enough to be drunk!
And if Jordi really is drunk, she certainly shouldn’t be knitting! Don’t ever knit drunk! You’ll end up with purls where you need knits, with yarn-overs where you need knit-two-togethers, and your cables will veer all over the place!
Good friends don’t let friends knit drunk. All you’ll end up doing is sending your lovely knitting to the frog pond.
Jordi, don’t listen to them. I know a great knitting drinking game–every time you repeat a pattern, drink.
Jordi, don’t listen to them. I know a great knitting drinking game–every time you repeat a pattern, drink.
Yeesh, Earl. Quit corrupting her! If she isn’t already.
every time you repeat a pattern, drink.
Given that most patterns take a while to complete, you’re not going to be drinking a lot in that game.
Here’s one. The first time you take scissors to your knitting, drink for every inch you cut. Steeking is hella scary.
The first time you take scissors to your knitting, drink for every inch you cut. Steeking is hella scary.
Good grief. I did steeks once on an Alice Starmore fairisle pattern and I thought I was going to pass out from fear. You’d think it would be the kind of thing that, once you’d cut the armhole and it didn’t all unravel, that you’d be okay to cut the front. No. The entire thing was terrifying. And I’ll never do it again.
Given that most patterns take a while to complete, you’re not going to be drinking a lot in that game.
Of course, if you’re moss stitching, you’ll need your stomach pumped before you finish one row!
I’ve done steeks twice so far, once on this cute Dale of Norway baby fairisle and once on a cardi of my own design. The first time I made my mom stay on the phone with me to talk me through it, the second time I called her in tears because I was so stressed. I’m going to do it again though, because knitting in the round = no evil purls.
I once did an adorable Dale of Norway baby fairisle that I opted to work flat instead of doing steeks. Yeah, that’s right — I worked a fairisle in right-side/wrong-side form rather than doing itty-bitty newborn-sized steeks. I’m not sure I saved myself much angst in the long run.
Wow. Just wow. The most difficult fairisle I’ve ever done was a pair of mittens. 3 colours on one row, non-repeating pattern. 2 months after I finished I lost the left one. Yeah, I’m still pissed off about that.
I’ll be back in a few. Gotta cycle to the store and procure something that could pass as food, since my fridge is woefully empty.
I love that we’re talking about knitting. I learned a few years ago, but I don’t think I hold the needles properly. My hands cramp up after half an hour, so I switched to quilting this past winter. If you think yarn is addicting, try shopping for fabrics. Yummy!
I switched from knitting to cross stitch when we moved to AZ. There were no good yarn stores in the area, and one fantastic stitching shop, so it kind of made the choice for me. And I actually really prefer the needlework to the knitting, although I probably couldn’t verbalize why. I’ve done a little quilting; a few years ago the three of us pieced an extremely simple quilt for my bed, but then couldn’t be bothered to do the actual quilting for it. Boomer and Pookie surprised me by having it finished. I cried and cried when they presented it to me, because the woman who finished it had put this little patch on the back that has our names on it and says what year we pieced the quilt. Anyway, shopping for fabrics is really amazingly fun. During that summer of piecing, we repeatedly derailed ourselves by going to the nearest fabric shop and going hog wild.
Grace, I actually don’t knit anymore either. My problem with it is that I spend all the time working on a sweater imaging how awesome it’s going to look, and then when I finish, it never looks quite like what I was expecting. It never fits right. So I switched over to doing needlework. I like that have a ton more control over the final product. Sure the final product isn’t as useful as a sweater, but I love have walls covered in projects I’ve done. And shopping for yarn and fabrics is certainly fun, but I love linen and silk threads more than anything. Because I’m a loser and a nerd!
Cross stitching! I have a half dozen UFOs (UnFinished Objects) left over from when I nearly went blind and cross-eyed trying to learn. What kinds of projects are you working on now?
I love love love your quilt story. Somehow, mittens, cardigans, quilts, etc. seem warmer when they’re handmade with love! I should probably disclose that to date I have only finished one quilt, and I “cheated” and machine pieced/quilted it because I was working under a time constraint. My cousin was pregnant, and I wanted to finish before the baby came out of the oven.
There’s no shame in “cheating”! I mean, what’s a bigger cheat than giving your pieced quilt-top to someone else to actually quilt for you? :-) Boomer is our resident regular quilter, and she’s a total snob about hand-working it, and we just roll our eyes at her. Again, she plans to pay someone else to quilt the thing for her when she finishes piecing it. How is that “better” than someone who machine-works the entire quilt themselves?
I don’t like to do straight-up, standard counted cross-stitch. I like Victorian cross-stitch, which is worked on more of a traditionally needlepoint scale, with yarn on, most often, 10-count canvas. We have a proliferation of Victorian designs of birds and flowers all over our house now. I don’t have the patience to work on linen with silk like Pookie does, because the stopping and starting drives me nuts. And the Victorian cross stitch lets me show off what was my best attribute as a knitter: my guage is so regular I’m like a machine. (That was also really my only good attrribute as a knitter. I am impatient, flighty, and hate switching colors.)
What kinds of projects are you working on now?
I do almost exclusively reproduction samplers, usually 18th or 19th century English patterns, or modern variations thereof. A non-stitching friend once asked, “Why do you have so many alphabets on your walls?”
And yes, quilts, sweaters, scarves and mittens are totally warmer when handmade!
And yes, quilts, sweaters, scarves and mittens are totally warmer when handmade
And also much much more depressing when you lose something. We lost my baby quilt when we got our stuff out of storage 4 years ago. Sniff. My sister still has her’s though, and it was very similar, so maybe one day I’ll nick it.
Cross stitching was never my thing. We learned how to do it in school, but the lady who taught us was so incomprehensibly evil that I’ll never do it out of free will.
I’ve actually met a lot of incomprehensibly evil cross-stitchers. They are by far the most unpleasant handcrafters, on average. Quilters are the best. They tend to be a lot more down-to-earth. There was quite the dynamic cross-stitch scene where we lived in AZ (again, because one of the finest cross-stitching shops in the universe is there), and they were just all snotty and stuck-up and assy. So then Pookie hit the scene with a huge splash because she is, quite seriously, a phenomenally good stitcher. And slowly but surely all these assy, evil women had to concede that Pookie was better than them… Heh. It was a lot of fun to watch unfold over the handful of years we were out there. (Now we kind of stitch in a vacuum, since we’re back in pretty much knitting and quilting country.)
Oh, and yes, Pookie does do competitive cross stitch. In part because she’s a stitching superstar, and in part because, well, for us everything is a competition!
Schnookie, thanks for making me feel better about the machine quilting! Tell Boomer I plan on hand piecing my next project (after I finish the bed-size quilt I’m working on now).
My gauge is so regular I’m like a machine.
Want to come over and finish my quilt for me? ; )
A non-stitching friend once asked, “Why do you have so many alphabets on your walls?”
:^::::::::::::::::
I feel like you ladies need a separate, non-hockey blog for all of your other hobbies–I’d love to see photos of your work!
The stitching and hockey fit together so perfectly, though! Hockey gives you 2.5-5 hours of sitting in front of the TV (depending on how many games you’re watching that night), but it’s TV you don’t have to pay slavish attention to. And stitching/knitting/quilting is stuff you want to have something going on concurrently with — it’s hard to just sit in silence and work on that kind of stuff. So it’s like a match made in heaven! Of course, blogging now cuts down severely on my handicraft time. I have yet to figure out how to stitch and game diarize at the same time…
I’ve actually met a lot of incomprehensibly evil cross-stitchers. They are by far the most unpleasant handcrafters, on average. Quilters are the best. They tend to be a lot more down-to-earth.
I noticed this difference, too. The folks at the quilt shop are always extremely generous with their time, advice, and encouragement. I’m so glad Pookie showed up those evil AZ ladies!
Of course, blogging now cuts down severely on my handicraft time.
Schnookie, blogging is a handicraft! Don’t you get that same sense of satisfaction after finishing a sparkling game diary?
Don’t you get that same sense of satisfaction after finishing a sparkling game diary?
Actually, I do! :P
This adventure that is IPB has been a wonderful (some might say wholly unneccesary) boon to my ego. Because of the three of us, I’m the most rinky-dinky when it comes to our stitching projects. Pookie and Boomer churn out these glorious works of intricate details and skill, and I’m like, “I like stitching big blocks of color with wool. And when I’m done I like to bang rocks together and eat chalk.” So yeah, striving to complete that perfect game diary is so much more fulfilling!
(I want you to know, I am now going to apply my favorite sarcastic stitching adage to my game diary work. The Amish apparently deliberately make one mistake in each of their quilts, because only God is perfect. So every time we make mistakes in our own crafty things — and this is fairly frequently — we’ll sometimes opt to leave them in as a joking sort of Amish thing. I shall now look at typos and mistaken names and missed penalties and stuff like that as my “only God is perfect” errors…)
Schnookie, blogging is a handicraft!
Thank you, Grace! That was exactly the phrase I needed to hear to make me feel better about the fact that I’ve lost my title of “Threads of Fire”. Before IPB, I was a monster, finishing projects left and right. After IPB? It’s pathetic. Of course, Schnookie does the actual writing on the diaries; I just backseat drive. Of course, while Schnookie writes, I have to be her eyes and ears for the game, so I guess that’s my excuse why I can’t be stitching and backseat driving at the same time.
So what kind of bed-size quilt are you working on, Grace?
I’m the most rinky-dinky when it comes to our stitching projects. Pookie and Boomer churn out these glorious works of intricate details and skill, and I’m like, “I like stitching big blocks of color with wool. And when I’m done I like to bang rocks together and eat chalk.”
I’ll admit, I did sort of secretly scoff at the projects Schnookie does — until I tried one myself. The materials were so different from what I was used to, that the finished project turned out disastrous. I mean, disastrous. So bad no one could even pretend to think it looked nice. So I know fully acknowledge that Schnookie is just as good a needleworker, she just won’t admit it.
I want you to know, I am now going to apply my favorite sarcastic stitching adage to my game diary work.
Good for you Schnookie! Because the only thing separating good crafters/bloggers from God is the occasional uneven stitch or an uncharacteristic typo. We have to be careful not to threaten God with our sheer awesomeness! He can be a bit insecure.
We have to be careful not to threaten God with our sheer awesomeness!
Katebits, you are so right! (I have always found that a bit odd and hubristic about the Amish. I mean, I understand wanting to not make a “perfect” quilt, but dudes, seriously? In a project with over 100,000 stitches, you’re so confident in your ability that you have to deliberately put in a mistake, just so you’re not creeping up too close to God’s rearview mirror?)
“I like stitching big blocks of color with wool. And when I’m done I like to bang rocks together and eat chalk.”
:^:::::::::::
As for the Amish, they deliberately make one mistake? Gimme a break!
I also like the concept of a dangerously perfect quilt. Like, somehow your quilt is so perfect that you actually become the Supreme Being and the current universe ceases to exist because you didn’t put in that one “mistake”.
Oops, I didn’t refresh the page before that last comment! But only God is perfect! : )
And Schnookie, my quilt is a headache of no-two-are-the-same nine patch squares alternating with plain squares. I’m finally done with the center, but I’m stalled because I haven’t yet found border fabric that I like.
Drowning Man #1: Too bad about all of this flooding. It seems the world is coming to an end.
Drowning man #2: If only she hadn’t sewn that perfect quilt.
You have to be careful.
Katebits, the danger of too much perfection in a quilt is no laughing matter. You are absolutely right, that minus that “mistake” (which, of course, was, like, totally on purpose…), we could all be sucked into a vortex of nothingness.
Grace, your quilt sounds lovely!! What sort of palette did you use?
My mom refuses to teach me any more artsy type things because I’m a perpetual non-finisher. But she gives me a 45 minute lesson while she’s in town and then goes back to Alabama! It’s not my fault I can’t remember all the directions she crammed in that short of a period and it’s not my fault she lives so far away! Okay, that last one is kind of my fault… but still! Hopefully she’ll help me finish my quilt when she’s up in August. No go on the knitting though. She forbade me from touching needles again after I threw them across the room last time. And I wish that was an exaggeration.
My favorite scarf is the one she knitted at me and I once drove almost an hour out of my way to retrieve it from the place I left it. I’ll be a mess if I ever lose it. It’s also the only piece of clothing I ever get complimented on so I think people can sense the love in it. It does look awesome though so there’s that too.
Heh. If unfinished projects were a reason to stop handcrafting, I’d have had to quit years ago. I have mountains of started projects that I have no real intention of ever finishing.
Boomer went through quite a scarf-knitting phase a few years ago, and Heather, I would totally drive an hour to retrieve the one she made for me if I left it somewhere. It’s this awesome dark green alpaca number in a gorgeous scalloped openwork pattern… I adore it.
My favorite “lost knit item” story involves my beloved mittens, which I made from a chunky, hand-dyed yarn that I’d never be able to find again if I had to. I made these mittens about 7 years ago. So I had them in my overcoat pocket when we went to a Devils game a few years back, and the next day at lunchtime I went to put them on because it was cold on my walk to the cafeteria — and they were gone. Both mittens. I freaked out, and actually called Continental Airlines Arena to find out if they’d been left in a lost and found or something (the person I talked to laughed at me. Because there was no way a pair of mittens left in the last row of the upper deck was finding its way to the lost and found), but no dice. I nearly broke down in tears at work over this. And when I got home I told Pookie, and she laughed in my face. “Did you notice anything else different about your coat today, other than that your mittens were missing?” she asked. Uh, now that she mentioned it, I thought the coat fit me kind of differently… Yeah, it turned out I’d taken her coat to work instead of mine. I am so smrt!
Wow, Schnookie, that sounds like the time I lost my wallet at the Pond. Except, yeah, I was wearing my own pants, and yeah, I really did leave it there.
But the person I talked to did laugh at me.
Oh dear, Earl! That’s almost as terrible as thinking you lost your mittens but didn’t really. Except a lot worse.
I was wearing my own pants
Well, that is a very comforting though.
I have nothing to add to the knitting or stitching talk because I’ve done neither. However, my mom and grandmother have knitted me some rather horrific sweaters and you’re always so afraid that you’ll be offending or hurting their feelings if you choose not to wear it because they put in some much love and effort into making it for you. But seriously. Always horrific. My grandmother has knitted me some rather cute beanies though, unfortunately they make my head itch.
It’s also the only piece of clothing I ever get complimented on so I think people can sense the love in it.
I love gettign compliments on stuff that’s been made for me! Schnookie knit me the coolest hat in the universe (it’s knit in a circular tube, but then it has a square top with huge tassles at 3 of the corners… okay, this description isn’t making sense, but rest assured, it’s the coolest hat ever). I used to get compliments on it all the time. Then one day I wore into a knitting shop in Manhattan where Julia Roberts was rumored to shop. The shopowners flipped over it and demanded that I let them take a picture of it for their wall of cool projects. So for all I know, Julia Roberts saw and flipped over Schnookie’s hat.
Sorry for the lagging!
Schnookie, I started the quilt in the fall, so the nine-patch squares are dark blues, greens, and reds, while the plain squares are a handful of creams. Pretty basic and safe.
And wow! I never imagined that so many other hockey fans would be knitters, stitchers, and quilters! Heather, I have definitely thrown my needles in frustration. More than once. And I also know how you feel about that scarf. I have one that I’ve considered surgically attaching to my neck. But then the summers would be too hot.
And Earl, I am sorry you lost your wallet! But glad you were wearing your own pants?
I am just shocked Earl was wearing pants.
Thank god it wasn’t is lucky green shirt. That would have been devistating.
I love getting compliments on stuff that’s been made for me! Schnookie knit me the coolest hat in the universe (it’s knit in a circular tube, but then it has a square top with huge tassles at 3 of the corners… okay, this description isn’t making sense, but rest assured, it’s the coolest hat ever).
My mom once made me a Jayne hat from Firefly with absolutely no prompting from me. Best surprise ever! I don’t think she completely understands why I wear it because it looks kind of silly and it doesn’t match any of my other winter stuff, but her confusion might make it even more impressive that she made it for me without “fixing” it.
And Earl, I am sorry you lost your wallet! But glad you were wearing your own pants?
Yes, small victories.
The second chapter of this story was when I went to the DMV to get a new license. I had up to that point still been using my original 16-year-old license (clean driving record, could renew by mail), and I think my DMV stats had me at 5′6″ and 130 lbs. or something (I was more like 6′1″ and 170 lbs. by then).
So I proceeded to get a whole bunch of lectures from various DMV people about how bad it was that I had never voluntarily updated my stats, with ridiculous stories about how I could be lost in the woods or something and they’d be out looking for a 5′6″ person and probably just fly past anyone who was 6 feet tall.
And no matter what, I just couldn’t take the threatening stories seriously. I kept cracking up, and was oozing with sarcasm. Finally I just said, “Listen. You can teach me this lesson now if you want, but frankly, I am done growing. Should I grow another six inches I’ll definitely let you know.”
So, a stupid story, but I should have warned them: Lectures don’t motivate me to do much except snark.
You let them update your license? Mine still says I am 5′4″ and 118 lbs. They ask me each time I go in “everything the same?”
I just smile and say, “yes” and give them the Cruncy stare (I was unaware it was Crunchy’s) and wait for them to dare to contradict me.
My mom once made me a Jayne hat from Firefly with absolutely no prompting from me. Best surprise ever!
Heather, I had to google “firefly Jayne hat” to remember what it looked like, but I love it!
I could be lost in the woods or something and they’d be out looking for a 5′6″ person and probably just fly past anyone who was 6 feet tall.
Chopper pilot 1: Hey, look at that 6″ guy being mauled by bears. Is that him?
Pilot 2: Nah, he’s too tall. Let’s look somewhere else.
I think my license has me generously listed at 152 cm, although I’m certain I’m probably more around the 149 cm range. You guys have weights on your license too? We are far too polite to ask one another that information!
hee, grace!
I could be lost in the woods or something and they’d be out looking for a 5′6″ person and probably just fly past anyone who was 6 feet tall.
I love that that’s the best they can come up with — that the rescue teams wouldn’t bother picking up some other stranded person if he didn’t match your description!
Probably if the DMV had their way the pilots would land and give me a lecture about updating the DMV database before letting the bears resume their mauling.
But glad you were wearing your own pants?
So, I’m a big boned girl, from big-boned peasant stock, right? When I was in high school I did a lot of technical theater stuff, including painting. I had a specific pair of panting jeans that I would leave in the theater office when I was in school. One of the performing arts teachers was this 6′2″ really built Broadway chorus dancer. So one day I noticed that my jeans weren’t where I left them. When I walked into the theater I saw the dancer dude walking around in jeans that had a suspiciously familiar blotch of salmon paint on them. “Hey!” I shouted. “Those are my pants!” He was like, “Oh, I thought they seemed a little short.” Um, thanks, guy. Thanks a lot.
In a related story, this same B-way chorus dancer knit himself a pair of tights. In discussing them he said, with a completely straight face, “The hardest part in knitting them was turning the crotch.”
“The hardest part in knitting them was turning the crotch.”
:^::::::::::::
Pookie — I am stunned.
Sherry, NJ used to have weights listed on drivers licenses, but thankfully stopped doing that sometime between when I got my first license and when we moved back here from AZ. I guess they finally realized no one was telling the truth anyway. Because if there were chopper pilots trying to find me in the woods based on what I said I weighed, the conversation would have gone like this:
Chopper Pilot #1: Is that her down there, being mauled by bears?
Chopper Pilot #2: Hell no! Those bears just found themselves a treat weighing twice as much as this chick we’re actually looking for…
I went to get my license renewed about a year ago and they made me take a new picture and re-fill out all the info, kinda strange but no big deal.
The problem is that I think the contrast/tint on the camera was about 3 shades off because when I got my license in the mail, my picture looks like an angry tomato. It totally sucks.
The problem is that I think the contrast/tint on the camera was about 3 shades off because when I got my license in the mail, my picture looks like an angry tomato. It totally sucks.
Much like the shade I am currently turning in my effort not to laugh uproariously out loud. My sides hurt.
I look like a 500lb bullish lesbian in my most current DL…….I am not kidding, it is something supernaturally horrific. I don’t know how is all went wrong…but it did. However, I am way to lazy to actually go get a different picture.
when I got my license in the mail, my picture looks like an angry tomato. It totally sucks.
Make sure you update with the DMV the fact that you are not actually an angry tomato. I can’t tell you all the likely scenarios where that attention-to-detail will in fact save your life.
my picture looks like an angry tomato.
Could be worse: I just got mine renewed last month and my picture looks like Quasimodo.
(In AZ the licenses are good through your 65th birthday. So when we moved there I was 24, and the license they gave me was going to be my official photo ID for the next 41 years. I couldn’t wait to try getting on an airplane with it in, like, 2033.)
Everyone looks like shit on their DL. I got pulled over by a cop once and he wouldn’t believe I was 18. The picture, and the fact that I had braces at the time, combined to make me look like a 13 year old. Very nice.
I couldn’t remember if NY lists weight or not so I had to check. No, it doesn’t.
Heather, I had to google “firefly Jayne hat” to remember what it looked like, but I love it!
Kate, I thought afterward that I probably should’ve included a link. If you ever see someone wandering around Buffalo with that hat, holler because it’s probably me.
I think my mom is secretly delighted that I moved up north since she now has reason to knit hats, scarves, and gloves.
Hey, not to jump off-topic – or is that even possible – but can anyone recommend any good hockey books? Nonfiction, fiction, NHL, Timbits, I don’t care. I’m on vacation and I need some stuff to read. (Okay, I actually don’t need anything to read because I have stacks of book just sitting around the apartment waiting for me…)
It’s not so bad now that I’ve had it for a year. but I hated having to take it out everytime I got carded for the first several months.
The good news is that my brother in law is in the highway patrol, so he gave me one of those little badge stickers that you put on your license to let other cops know when they pull you over. So, anyways, I get carded now and that’s all they see, no one even looks at the picture anymore.
Carded? You get carded? I wish.
My original license photo was actually really cute (hard to imagine, I know) but when I went in to get it renewed the lady made me get a new one. I hadn’t been expecting to need a new picture and had my hair up in a super-mess ponytail…let’s just say it’s not my best look…
Everyone looks like shit on their DL.
This is true! Although I’m proud to say that when I went in for my passport photo a few years ago the guy taking the picture asked, “Want to look at a mirror before I take this, just to make sure you look your best?” And I was like, “Dude, no way you’re improving on this face. Just take the picture.” And he insisted, “Are you sure?” But I didn’t care. Then I saw the picture and it turns out my hair looked like it had been styled with an egg beater. The moral of that story is that if the passport picture dude is insisting you look like crap, you probably do.
SCHNOOKIE…………..STOP….I am sick and this massive laughing is killing me here!!!
a.oil, it depends. I get carded about 80% of the time when i’m clean shaven. If I have a goatee or beard or anything like that I’ll get carded only about 50% of the time.
SCHNOOKIE STOP DOING THAT! I’m dying here!
Oil, thanks for the heads up :P
My original license photo was actually really cute (hard to imagine, I know)
So was mine! But in Jersey you used to (I don’t know if this is true anymore) have your picture in profile on your license for some stretch of time after you first get it, and then you hit some age and had to go full-frontal (I don’t think it was 21 — that would make too much sense). When I hit that age I went to the DMV hoping for the best, but my new picture ended up haggish and awful. I was like, “But my 17-year-old self was so much cuter!” Oh well.
I get carded a bunch here in CA also. Frankly I think most of it is that the state has put a lot of fear in alcohol-vendors. A lot of them card people who look like they are less than 40 years old. It’s not the compliment it once was; now it’s just back to being a a hassle.
I think Andrew gets carded more than me and I’m 22…so either I look really old or NYC bartenders are pretty lax.
Heather, if you want a good laugh read “Summer Light” by Luanne Rice. It’s supposed to be a hockey themed romance/chick lit novel. The hero has won, and I’m not joking, the Norris and the Vezina. Um, research much, Ms. Rice? It is without a doubt one of the worst books I’ve ever read. We actually wrote a lenghty letter to the editor with the many errors, but aren’t actually dorky enough to have mailed it. But other than “The Hockey Sweater” and the “Magic Hockey Stick” (which I haven’t read since I don’t have kids, but which I’ve heard highly recommended [thanks, A-oil!]) I can’t think of a single decent hockey book. Sorry.
Earl’s got a point, when we go to Tahoe or Vegas I NEVER get carded. I think it’s a California thing.
Schnookie, I am imagining you getting ready for work in front of the bathroom mirror with an egg beater in hand, working on the ‘do. Too funny.
Carded? You get carded?
All the bloody time. I don’t really blame them because I’m sure I could convincingly pass as a middle-schooler, which does come in handy when buying movie tickets. The only problem is, my license picture also looks like a middle-schooler so of course I’ve got people actually examining my license for about 5 minutes to make sure it’s not fake.
Middle-schooler aside, I actually like my license picture except for some reason they made me keep my glasses on. I didn’t know you could take them off!
Schnookie, I am imagining you getting ready for work in front of the bathroom mirror with an egg beater in hand, working on the ‘do. Too funny.
Funny for you, maybe! It is both a painful and lengthy process. But I have to look my best!
re: hockey books: Has anyone read When the Lights Went Out? I’ve been wanting to read that one…
Schnookie, I am imagining you getting ready for work in front of the bathroom mirror with an egg beater in hand, working on the ‘do. Too funny.
Andrew, you are killing me. If I weren’t leaving my job this week, I’d get fired.
haha Meg…take solace in the fact that it’s definitely lazy NYC bartenders. I’m 29 and I look about 40 because I don’t sleep, so if you’re 22 they would probably barely even let you into a bar here!
Heather B. – I picked up this book called “Money Players” i think it’s called in the book store the other day and it looks pretty interesting. It’s all about the inner workings of the PA and contracts and such. Don’t know if that would be something that interested you.
Don’t die, thread! I really didn’t plan on being productive today!
Sorry, I’ll take the blame for that one :P
I can back Pookie up on the “Summer Light” front. That book was so awful it was hilarious. We read it aloud, and ended up skimming the last third of it. Aloud. We’d take turns with each chapter, and it just got so repetitive that whoever’s turn it was would literally read, “Blah blah… more of this stuff about the lake… blah blah… more about the homeless drifter… blah blah… Oh! Here’s some hockey content!” (I’m not making that up about the homeless drifter, by the way.) It was ostensibly a romance novel, so we thought there’d be at least some horndog to fall back on if the plot got boring, but alas. There wasn’t even that.
Speaking of hockey romances, I know there’s quite a burgeoning subgenre of them in the romance industry. I’ve only read one, Rachel Gibson’s “See Jane Score” and it was atrocious. So I can’t really recommend going in that direction for hockey reading content.
I figured it died because I’m on lunch and thus am no longer distracted by people chewing me out that they’re going to call the state senator to complain that the library is no longer purchasing made-for-tv-movies of Daneille Steel novels on VHS.
I was making dinner. Or at least, attempting to. I didn’t hear the timer for my spaghetti go off because my music was on way too loud. Oops.
But what about player memoirs and that sort of thing? Are there any quintessential hockey books I should know about? I need to bone up on my hockey knowledge this summer so I’m not so stoop in the Fall. Not, that IPB isn’t, um….educational.
But what about player memoirs and that sort of thing? Are there any quintessential hockey books I should know about?
I believe Pookie and I just provided a thorough examination of the hockey romance genre. What other types of books could anyone possibly need?
I grew up reading great baseball books so this lack of hockey classics is bothersome.
Sherry, that does actually sound interesting. I love that behind the scenes stuff. I’ll check it out.
Meg, I haven’t read When the Lights Went Out but it does sound cool so I’m going to see if the library has it.
For the record, since I brought it up. I read The Game by Ken Dryden which everyone recommends. I didn’t love it but I think I might’ve read it too early in my hockey fandom because there were a lot of names and situations that I wasn’t familiar with. The best hockey book I’ve read is Home Ice: Reflections of Backyard Rinks and Frozen Ponds by Jack Falla. It made me want to build a rink in my yard immediately. Then I remembered I don’t really have a yard.
Apparently the Brodeur one is pretty good and there is the one written by the Atlanta reporter about Dany Heatley and Dan Snyder that’s supposed to be really good but a tear-jerker. I read the blurb on the spine and already felt myself tearing up.
The only one I’ve read is Marty Brodeur’s. It was sorta cute. I liked how it seemed he was pretty honest about everything. But I think Marty Brodeur is awesome at everything (except wearing a suit…) so I’m not the best person to ask about this.
Yeah, and I read Roelant Oltmans’. But that’s in Dutch.
By the way, has anyone else heard the rumor that Chris Drury seriously wants out of Buffalo since discovering that the Buffalo Public Library system also no longer purchases made-for-tv movies of Danielle Steele stories on VHS? Because I have that from a very reliable source…
heheh , “See Jane Score”. Are they serious with this stuff? That sounds like the title of a bad porno.
Have you Devils fans read Marty’s autobiography?
I can’t get into the romance thing, hockey or no. I’ve tried and failed.
Regarding hockey romances, you should ask Jordi about them, apparently she’s the aficionado and is really good at weeding out the eye-twitchingly awful to slightly-cheesy-but-tolerable.
Annnnd we’re back to porn. That only took what, 110 comments?
The only hockey book I’ve read and really enjoyed was “Hockey Night in Canada: Sport, Identities, and Cultural Politics” by Richard S. Gruneau and David Whitson. I found it in the library at college freshman year and tried (and very nearly succeeded) in finding a way to cite it in every paper I wrote from then on (not easy for a technical theater/architecture & urban design studdies major).
andrew, half the fun of shopping for romance novels is rewarding a clever publisher for a kick-ass title or especially hilarious cover art. My favorite was the high-seas historical romance titled, “Her Master And Commander”. Just brilliant!
:{. That’ll be all.
Heather, see comment 108 re: the Marty book.
Sherry, I read a couple chapters of the Snyder/Heatley book in the bookstore one day and had to put it down quickly before I started bawling in the store. I want to read the rest of it, but I have to work myself up for it.
Sorry for asking about Marty’s book after everyone answered the unasked question – you people are amazing!. I’m typing too slow today.
If you guys have the cash for it, I suggest the Canadian Hockey Atlas. It’s this huge coffee table book about all of these different hockey cities and they give you fun stories about them, famous players etc. etc..I think it’s mostly Canadian cities but I’m pretty sure America’s in there somewhere too.
heheh , “See Jane Score”. Are they serious with this stuff? That sounds like the title of a bad porno.
I want to write a baseball romance just so I can title it “He Touched ‘Em All”.
By the way, has anyone else heard the rumor that Chris Drury seriously wants out of Buffalo since discovering that the Buffalo Public Library system also no longer purchases made-for-tv movies of Danielle Steele stories on VHS? Because I have that from a very reliable source…
It’s true Schnookie! He’s so mad about this that he has started a foundation to promote the purchase of VCRs for the underprivileged youth of Buffalo. His foundation is called Steadfast and he will be throwing regular catwalk style events in San Jose next year, where the players will be dressing up as their favorite characters from the books! It is just terrible how the Buffalo community is unable to attract and keep star players. Shame on the libraries!
Obviously someone needs to help Pookie write the book proposal and mail it off to a publisher.
Okay, I just got here, so excuse me while I backtrack to knitting for a second. I learned to knit at school when I was in 1st grade, and since then I think I’ve finished a grand total of three projects: a Ravenclaw scarf, a tiny baby cardigan that fit my cousin’s baby for about a day, and a sock. Not socks, a sock. I couldn’t be bothered to finish the other one. I really like knitting, but I’m incredibly unskilled and undisciplined at it. I think I learned cross-stitching at some point, too, but I can’t remember.
On lost wallets: Mine apparently decided to evaporate in my purse last month, because I have literally no clue how I could have lost it. Now there wasn’t anything incredibly valuable in there, maybe five bucks, every version of my drivers license I had (including a fake from my sister, but I’d only need that for another couple of months anyway), and the debit card to my $23.81 in the bank. That’s pretty replaceable. A hassle, but still. What I’m really pissed about losing is the wallet itself. My aunt’s friend made it for me out of a Kool-Aid drink pouch kind of laminated and stitched together with velcro at the top. I got compliments on it everywhere, it was so awesome. I miss it!
Also, I’ve been too lazy to go to the DMV and get my license replaced, and it’s gotten to the point where I actually have scary dreams that I’m being pulled over. I am so sad.
Oh, and Heather, no, this Devils fan hasn’t read Marty’s book. I am a little frightened of what’s in there, so I’m leaving it alone. I really wanted to buy Shawna Richter’s book about Sid so Schnookie could read it aloud while I drove back from Buffalo on our recent roadtrip, but decided that, although we would certainly laugh really, really hard, it probably wasn’t worth the cover price in the HOF giftstore. And, although no one here knows anything about hockey, I’m too chicken to get it through Interlibrary Loan.
I figured it died because I’m on lunch and thus am no longer distracted by people chewing me out that they’re going to call the state senator to complain that the library is no longer purchasing made-for-tv-movies of Daneille Steel novels on VHS.
I can see how this complaint makes sense–you did get them hooked on a product, after all.
I’ve only read one real hockey book, and it’s really old (maybe 30+ years old?), but it’s called “A Thinking Man’s Guide to Ice Hockey”. It’s not that valuable a read, as a lot of it is outdated, but it was somewhat of an interesting look at how hockey was thought about back in “the day”.
There’s some talk about salaries and stuff that can be ignored, but they do a pretty good job about talking about the various roles (offensive defensemen vs. defensive defensemen, etc.) and their importance, but it’s probably only a book that should be read by the awfully hardcore. It’s probably a book that could use a modern-day rewrite before it’s truly recommendable.
Heather, I have no intention of reading Marty’s “autobiography” (as written by Damian Cox). I really, really try to avoid too much contact with hockey players as human beings, and furthermore, when I think too hard about Marty, I get major “squicky” vibes. Not that I think much of what’s in that book would be reflective of Marty as a human being, but whatever. :P Anyway, the local papers ran a bunch of exerpts from it when it was first published, and if you read enough of Cox’s columns, I think you’ll eventually end up getting the gist of the entire book…
I really wanted to buy Shawna Richter’s book about Sid so Schnookie could read it aloud while I drove back from Buffalo on our recent roadtrip, but decided that, although we would certainly laugh really, really hard, it probably wasn’t worth the cover price in the HOF giftstore.
I read the blurb for that book and as soon as she started talking about his lips, I had to put it down before I vomited.
I am a little frightened of what’s in there
Don’t be afraid. It struck me how little is actually in the book. Still an amusing read though.
Don’t be afraid. It struck me how little is actually in the book.
It’s not the content that’s scary, per se. It’s the way the content’s presented that’s so frightening!
So, you’re genuinely afraid to think of Marty as a person? Because then I’m going to call my enabler friend right now and make him tell me everything he knows about the man (and apparently it’s a lot considering they’re neighbours…) and torture you with it. Because I’m mean like that. Think of it as payback for every time you guys made me snort soda up my nose :P
Katebits, you’re so right about Drury’s charity! And you should have seen the death glare Crunchy shot him when he stole his foundation name, but Drury barely noticed him. “What was that, kid?” he asked absently, “Did you say you already had a foundation with that name? How cute. Now get outta my way — I gotta get home so I can sit in my beige-walled, windowless living room and just stare into space, or whatever it is I do with my free time.”
I read the blurb for that book and as soon as she started talking about his lips, I had to put it down before I vomited.
Ick…I just read that. I also like the bit about how Niittymaki “shimmied out of his crease.” I think play-by-play guys should start using that whenever possible.
So, you’re genuinely afraid to think of Marty as a person?
There’s only so much venality I can accept before I find myself unable to continue watching the sport. So please, whatever you find out about him, don’t tell me! :P
So, you’re genuinely afraid to think of Marty as a person?
The trouble with that is as soon as you hear things about somebody that you sort of admire there’s no way to unlearn the information. It’s so much easier to think of them as just robotic bobble-heads.
So, you’re genuinely afraid to think of Marty as a person?
Here’s the deal: if I know about the players as real human beings, I can no longer snark about them. If I can’t snark, there’s no IPB. Is that what you want, Mags? Huh, is that what you want?!
:)
Because then I’m going to call my enabler friend right now and make him tell me everything he knows about the man (and apparently it’s a lot considering they’re neighbours…) and torture you with it
You know someone who’s neighbours with Marty? AWESOME! I’m not afraid to know him, how about we use those connections, eh?
Actually, I’m surprised to hear that Marty has neighbours. I always figured he lived on a private island or something.
Katebits, you’re so right about Drury’s charity! And you should have seen the death glare Crunchy shot him when he stole his foundation name, but Drury barely noticed him. “What was that, kid?” he asked absently, “Did you say you already had a foundation with that name? How cute. Now get outta my way — I gotta get home so I can sit in my beige-walled, windowless living room and just stare into space, or whatever it is I do with my free time.”
Oh Schnookie, Drury’s walls aren’t beige, they’re eggshell (he spent weeks pondering that shade), and Crunchy was totally cool with sharing his foundation’s name for such a good cause. Life can’t just be about helping kids with cancer Shnookie, you also have to help the kids who don’t have ready access to Danielle Steele made-for-tv movies in VHS format.
The trouble with that is as soon as you hear things about somebody that you sort of admire there’s no way to unlearn the information. It’s so much easier to think of them as just robotic bobble-heads.
That is a FANTASTIC way of putting it, Sherry! (I like to think of them as roboto bobble-heads who happen to employ turtles-of-affairs, but you pretty well summed up the gist of it all…)
I find myself unable to continue watching the sport
Well, we wouldn’t want that.
I’ll just keep my multitude of Marty stories to myself then. For now :P
I’m just messing with you though, whenever Randy or Greg start with a story I tell them to shut up because I DON’T WANT TO KNOW! I usually listen to the Marty ones, they’re funny. But the Parise and Elias stories, nooooooo!
(I like to think of them as roboto bobble-heads who happen to employ turtles-of-affairs, but you pretty well summed up the gist of it all…)
Well, of course. It’s so much easier for robots to have affairs because they don’t have real feelings.
If I can’t snark, there’s no IPB. Is that what you want, Mags? Huh, is that what you want?!
NO! Let them snark Mags!
I heard Marty has a magical unicorn in his basement! That’s what Mags’ friend told me!
…you also have to help the kids who don’t have ready access to Danielle Steele made-for-tv movies in VHS format.
Crunchy is more concerned for the kids who need their Danielle Steel made-for-tv movies in betamax format. He’s all about helping the incurable.
Pookie, if not for IPB I wouldn’t be who I am today. Seriously, you lot are making me a nicer person :D
SNARK ON!
Hello! Wow…this is one fantastically hilarious comment thread, kids – I’m going to jump right in to what I assume you’re talking about and say that I, too, prefer to think of the boys as robotic bobble-heads (although I can’t say I ever would have referred to them that way on my own).
One of my blogger friends has taken great pleasure lately in telling me some slightly off-color stories about some of the Caps, because one of her friends used to hang out with them. I cover my ears and yell “LA LA LA LA LA LA LA” but she still tells them to me!
Crunchy is more concerned for the kids who need their Danielle Steel made-for-tv movies in betamax format. He’s all about helping the incurable.
In their free time, Crunchy and Drury get together and record Danielle Steeles books on tape so that the blind children can also enjoy her literary stylings. Crunchy purposefully make one mistake per book, because only God is perfect!
I heard Marty has a magical unicorn in his basement! That’s what Mags’ friend told me!
Don’t let Jason Pominville find out! (I always assume that all of Pommie’s interviews end with him saying, “And then? I saw a unicorn? And it was really pretty.”)
See, I’m torn. I want to know everything there is to know about my favorite players even though there have been times I’ve learned stuff that I kind of didn’t really want to know.
I was searching for hockey books on Amazon and while I have no intention of reading it, the title of Dennis Hull’s book killed me: The Third Best Hull: I Should’ve Been Fourth But They Wouldn’t Let My Sister Maxine Play.
Don’t let Jason Pominville find out! (I always assume that all of Pommie’s interviews end with him saying, “And then? I saw a unicorn? And it was really pretty.”)
:^:::::::::::::::!
Crunchy purposefully make one mistake per book, because only God is perfect!
So that’s why he lets in goals when he’s 60 seconds from getting shutouts!
See, I’m torn. I want to know everything there is to know about my favorite players even though there have been times I’ve learned stuff that I kind of didn’t really want to know.
I’m kind of the same way. The thing is, most of the time you end up hearing about the bad stuff. Whenever you hear the cute anecdotes or nice things they do you think they’d be a cool person to get to know better but then they eventually end up disappointing you.
I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to turn this into a therapy session.
The Third Best Hull: I Should’ve Been Fourth But They Wouldn’t Let My Sister Maxine Play.
Tee-hee! I bet the Staal sister is actually the best out of all of them.
Yeah, didn’t you know Crunchy was Amish Pookie?
Crunchy purposefully make one mistake per book, because only God is perfect!
I don’t know, Kate. Crunchy will probably want to be the best book reader he can possibly be, God be damned.
God: Only I’m perfect!
Crunchy: :::cocked eyebrow::: Eh, guess not.
HA!
I can totally see Crunchy confronting God with his wonky brow all cocked.
The Third Best Hull: I Should’ve Been Fourth But They Wouldn’t Let My Sister Maxine Play.
That’s really cute.
Crunchy: :::cocked eyebrow::: Eh, guess not.
:^:::::::::::
We once got stuck going to dinner after a game with some of our crazy ex-roommate’s wanna-be puckbunny friends. These were three middle-aged women who were total hangers-on at the places the Devils liked to hang out. One of them was prettier than the other two and she claimed to be having a long-standing relationship with a married ex-Devil (and from the way she talked about it, I was inclined to believe her). The three women then proceeded to spend the entire dinner telling us all these awful, sordid thing about current and former Devils, and we were just like CapsChick about it. “I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THIS!!!” I mean, I’m not an idiot. I know what professional athletes are like. But I’m not interested in trading in the sordid tales of it all, because I don’t want to be pushed to a point where I have to, as a self-respecting woman, stop admiring (and I use that term both blandly and loadedly) these guys. It’s a fine line I feel like we tread, wanting to cheer for a player on the ice, wanting to wear his sweater, or proudly call him our favorite, when in reality he’s an oversexed, wife-beating cad. It’s just easier to willfully ignore that crap.
See, I’m torn. I want to know everything there is to know about my favorite players even though there have been times I’ve learned stuff that I kind of didn’t really want to know.
I always want to know, because I’m nosy and like to know things bad or good about pretty much everything. I just assume they’re all jerks anyway, so then I’m not disappointed.
Well, I don’t have any of that sort of stories. Mostly because Greg and Randy respect that I am wee and innocent and if they hear that sort of thing, they never tell me.
These were three middle-aged women who were total hangers-on at the places the Devils liked to hang out.
This reminds me of the time our HLOG sisters Steph, Elly and fellow hockey blogger Andrea came to visit HG and I. We went to a Bulldogs game and there were these middle-aged women sitting in the front row dressed in a way that is perhaps not too appropriate for the conditions of an arena. It prompted us to ask whether or not there was a term for puckbunnies that were middle-aged and whether or not there was actually an evolution of puckbunnies. We’ve decided that they would from here on in be dubbed ‘Dustbunnies’.
It’s a fine line I feel like we tread, wanting to cheer for a player on the ice, wanting to wear his sweater, or proudly call him our favorite, when in reality he’s an oversexed, wife-beating cad. It’s just easier to willfully ignore that crap.
It’s true. To be fair, I’m sure not all of them are like that but it’s just easier to ignore it altogether. It’s too much work keeping up with all of the junk!
I second what Schnookie said! Hear, hear!
Oh, well Mags, if the stories are, like, “Marty Brodeur totally uses my garbage cans and it’s so annoying!” or “He always lets his lawn get too long before mowing it”, I’m happy to hear that. It’s just the stuff about underaged girls, and orgies, and hitting people with guns that I don’t want to hear about.
And as for all that stuff about Amish Crunchy:
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Oi, in case anyone cares, the Fed Express and Roddick both won their first games at Wimbledon :D
I third what Schnookie said! Plus, if I learn actual information about Pominville, then it just gets too hard to imagine him solving Crunchy’s mysteries. And then everything is ruined.
when in reality he’s an oversexed, wife-beating cad
None of my boys fit that category, I assure you! Especially not my Benny. Never my Benny.
;)
(Actually, I heard a rumor that he was seen making out with a chick at a bar last season who…let’s just say wasn’t a stick figure. If true, it actually makes me love him even more!)
Meg, I have the same problem. I have no doubt I’d sit and take in every sordid detail even as my heart and stomach sank with disappointment.
Deadspin recently referred to middle-age women who prey on younger guys as “cougars.” I guess that’s the accepted slang. I’m pretty fond of “dustbunnies” though Sherry!
Dustbunnies! Sherry, that’s wonderful!!!
Hehehe, dustbunnies, love it. That’s here to stay.
Put it in the glossary, Sherry!
Actually, I heard a rumor that he was seen making out with a chick at a bar last season who…let’s just say wasn’t a stick figure. If true, it actually makes me love him even more!
Wow! You mean my peeporn/puke/cry routine might actually work on him?! This IS the type of gossip I want to hear! I hate it when guys reject me after I pee, puke and cry on them just because I’m carrying a few extra pounds. :D
Actually, I heard a rumor that he was seen making out with a chick at a bar last season who…let’s just say wasn’t a stick figure. If true, it actually makes me love him even more!
I always like a guy a bit more if he turns out to be married to a chunkier gal. And how pathetic of me is that, considering how I’m always like, “LA LA LA LA! I’M NOT LISTENING — oh. She’s a size 10? How cute!”
Put it in the glossary, Sherry!
Haha, done and done. Hopefully the definition is adequate
Looks good Sherry :)
Nice one Sherry!
I always like a guy a bit more if he turns out to be married to a chunkier gal.
Me too! Or at least somebody normal looking. I always thought that guys would appreciate their hockey heroes a bit more when they learn that they’re married to normal looking women and not all just stick-thin supermodels but apparently all of the guys I know are disappointed that Scotty N’s wife isn’t hotter.
Oh, and a very belated :^:::::::::::::::::::::::: for dustbunnies – perfect description!
I like to hear stories about hockey players, but I guess that’s because I’ve only heard good ones. My first boyfriend lived down the street from Alexei Zhitnik when he still played for the Sabres, and apparently he ran a really fancy dog kennel. This kid used to take his dogs there when his family went on vacation, and each dog had it’s own room with a TV and a REMOTE. My favorite story was when I heard that Max’s overweight Shetland Sheepdog sat on one of the remotes and broke it and Zhitnik apparently said, “This dog, she is like tank!”
I also heard a really cute one about Chris Drury, but I don’t want to ruin anyone’s ideas of him being a vacuum of personality, so I’ll just keep that one to myself.
But yeah, on the note of willfully ignoring the truth, I knew a lot of hockey players in high school (it was a fancy prep school and we had our own rink and everything), and as much as I want to try to convince myself that players in the NHL aren’t as big of doucherockets as the hockey players from high school, I’m pretty sure that really they are. I had a crisis the other day when I found out one of those kids was drafted in the third round (by the Caps, CC). I was reading the coverage of it, and his statements, and such, and I was like “He sounds like a perfectly nice kid! But… he’s not.” So I’m just hoping that he never ends up playing in the NHL (sorry, CC), just so I don’t have to see his name alongside the players that I love because I know absolutely nothing about them. If that never happens, I can just ignore his existence and my world view can remain intact.
I just operate under the assumption that most of the guys are probably jerks because we had a hockey team in high school and none of the guys were ever going to be become NHLers yet most of them were still jerk-wads.
You know, the hockey players I knew in school were never that bad. Sure, they went through girls like they were hors d’oeuvres, but that’s mostly because the girls let them. You just had to know what they get them on.
GAMBLER, I WANT THE CUTE CHRIS DRURY STORY!…maybe email it to me. (kateholzemer[at]gmail.com) Schnookie can’t deal. Only you and I know that underneath his stoic exterior is a super cutie who loves daisies.
Gambler, if he was drafted by the Caps in the 3rd round I’m going to go ahead and bet he’s not going to play in the NHL.
(Not that 3rd rounders don’t make it to the show…just Caps 3rd rounders.)
On the offchance that he does make it, though, I’m sure he’ll be a nice, upstanding guy! The Caps wouldn’t steer me wrong!
…
…
…at least not anymore.
I also heard a really cute one about Chris Drury, but I don’t want to ruin anyone’s ideas of him being a vacuum of personality, so I’ll just keep that one to myself.
Plus you don’t want to ruin your credibility here on such a shaky premise.
It’s the same reason I don’t go telling stories about Bryzgalov’s sanity.
I find that it’s the same with anyone who makes an obscene amount of money and is famous to any degree. Actors, musicians, althletes, etc. The more I like them the less I want to know about them!
GAMBLER, I WANT THE CUTE CHRIS DRURY STORY!
Me too! Don’t worry, I’m sure my image of Drury as a personality vacuum can survive even cute stories.
Okay, stories like Zhitnik’s dog kennel are always welcome at IPB! That is too, too funny!
I went to a really lame high school for sports (there were only 75 people in my entire class, so we couldn’t really be expected to be a bunch of athletic superstars, could we?), and spent my freshman year at Oberlin, of one of the most famous Div III football losing streaks. But then I ended up at a huge state school where there was actually a jock culture (although hardly a high-level one, but still…), and I was fully expecting to encounter tales of horror and disgustingness about all the football and basketball players. So I ended up in a really small German class with two basketball players, a lacrosse player and a guy on a crew scholarship, and they were the coolest, nicest people I met in my entire time at Rutgers. It was so bizarre. I cling to that experience now when I think about my favorite hockey players. (Although it should be said that none of those guys I knew were good enough to ever even entertain the notion of going pro or anything. One of the basketball players was hoping to be a Rhodes scholar, and he was the best athlete of the four of them. I can only assume Crunchy was planning to do the same thing if his hockey career hadn’t panned out…)
I find that it’s the same with anyone who makes an obscene amount of money and is famous to any degree.
Authors are often jerks as well. And frequently snobby ones as well.
GAMBLER, I WANT THE CUTE CHRIS DRURY STORY!
Me too! Don’t worry, I’m sure my image of Drury as a personality vacuum can survive even cute stories.
I’m with Meg. Just try to convince me he’s not the blandest, eggshell-white-painted-living-room automaton in the entire NHL firmament!
Sign me up for the Drury story too, please!
I cling to that experience now when I think about my favorite hockey players.
I actually knew a hockey player at NYU (very slightly–he was a friend of a friend) who was a really nice guy. But, bear in mind he was playing hockey at NYU which really tells you all you need to know about how good he was.
Yeah, Meg, NYU hockey players don’t count. (Which is why I didn’t include the Rutgers football players I met in my story.)
I kind of like your bland version of Drury, Schnookie. His outward blandness makes his secret passionate side even hotter.
Gambler, just tell the story already. We all want to know.
I’m trying to think of the Marty story y’all would find the most amusing. The one where he planted his ass next to the trampoline or the one where he set fire to the ribs on his barbecue and Greg had to come save him…
or the one where he set fire to the ribs on his barbecue
Ugh, see, now you’ve ruined him for me! Because I’ve always operated under a belief that Marty eats only donuts and honeyed dormice! :P
honeyed dormice!
:^:::::::::::
My nephew met Marty Biron once. He was out and about on the town and my nephew, who was pretty young at the time and very shy, was very nervous about saying hello even though he really wanted to because he was a big hockey lover. His mom kind of pushed him into it and Marty was, of course, absolutely lovely. He asked my nephew all about his team and how they were doing and what position he played and was just super warm and friendly. And in keeping with his chatterbox reputation, my sister-in-law alledgedly had to break up the conversation with a few, “Well, we really have to be going” type comments even though Marty was technically the one being inconvenienced. I thought that was pretty adorable.
Aww, Marty! I’d expect nothing less from him. Hearing stuff like this just makes me love him even more.
Biron is so sweet :)
Wow! I go away to eat a bowl of cereal, and everyone wants to hear my super-lame, uh, super-cool story!
Just try to convince me he’s not the blandest, eggshell-white-painted-living-room automaton in the entire NHL firmament!
Actually, now that I think about it, if you don’t think it’s cute (like I do), it’ll probably just convince you that he’s even more boring. But here goes.
My dad’s a doctor, and he knows the guy who stitched up Drury’s head and took care of him after that hit by Neil back in February. Chris was (understandably) a little out of it while it was going on, but he took the time to seek this guy out after the game to tell him how much he appreciated his time and attention. Also, this doctor got a call from Drury’s dad, who thanked him for taking care of his son. This guy has worked with a lot of pro athletes, and he said this was the first time anything like that has happened.
So there. Now that I’ve written it out, it’s a terribly unexciting story, but I still think it’s sweet. And it’s a show of class that allows me to hold out hope that not all hockey players have high-school-levels of douchebaggery.
And in keeping with his chatterbox reputation, my sister-in-law alledgedly had to break up the conversation with a few, “Well, we really have to be going” type comments even though Marty was technically the one being inconvenienced.
That is beyond adorable. Oh man, I miss Marty too much. He was such a perfect counterpart to Crunchy’s dour intensity. The Sabres are way too serious without him.
Okay, so now I think Drury’s a vacuum of personality with an overbearing father! :P
(Thanks for sharing the story, Gambler!)
Hmm. Although this story is definitely an indication of Drury’s non assholishness, I’m concerned it will not help bolster our argument that he is not bland.
Perhaps what you meant to say was that by way of thanks Drury performed a ten minute sword (sabre?) swallowing routine for the doctor?
I’m just kidding! I love our bland, bland boy. That he is a good guy is beyond speculation.
And it’s a show of class that allows me to hold out hope that not all hockey players have high-school-levels of douchebaggery.
OK Gambler, I’ll accept that story, but I’m not sure if it counts as personality if the person in question is concussed.
But I’m confused by the scale used in the last sentence: does a person who douchebags at a 12th grade level act more douchish than someone who is only at a 9th grade level? Or is it the opposite (the 12th grader being more mature than a 9th grader)?
I’d like to think I only douchebag at a 3rd grade level, unless that is very very bad.
I love Drury, that is a cook story Gambler, but I would honestly have expected nothing less from the guy. Mancrush in full effect here, if you hadn’t already noticed.
And off topic here (actually on-topic, but this is IPB, topics are irrelevant!), but blockbuster trades are the best ever! I know I’m a geek, but I love, LOVE trade deadline day and draft day. It’s just so exciting! I don’t even care if my teams are involved or not.
I’d like to think I only douchebag at a 3rd grade level, unless that is very very bad.
I think elementary douchebagginess isn’t as bad. It simply means you’re douchebaggy without really knowing it’s douchebaggy.
12th graders are worse that 9th graders in my opinion. They’ve had more time to perfect the art of being complete jerks.
Hmm. Although this story is definitely an indication of Drury’s non assholishness, I’m concerned it will not help bolster our argument that he is not bland.
No it definitely didn’t bolster your argument. Great guy…not so interesting.
Don’t be so hard on yourself Earl! You totally douchebag at a least a a 10th grade level!
(I think the grade levels refer to the potency of your douchebagging abilities.)
cool story. But I guess if it were a cook story, it would have had some sort of culinary merit.
hee. Andrew I was sitting here wondering if “cook” was some sort of newfangled west coast lingo that hadn’t made it’s way to Buffalo yet!
I know I’m a geek, but I love, LOVE trade deadline day and draft day. It’s just so exciting! I don’t even care if my teams are involved or not.
Andrew, I’m totally with you on this one – although I’m equally excited and terrified, mostly because I’m afraid that a team I hate will acquire someone I used to respect or that my team will trade someone I love.
My dad says I adopt players like people adopt puppies from the pound…it’s so true.
Andrew, we have to pretty much live vicariously through other teams on trade deadline day and draft day, since Lou never does anything interesting. But yeah, it’s just so exciting!
I would definitely have found Drury more interesting if he’d been able to work some cooking into Gambler’s story…
I think the douchebaggery scale is kind of a bell-curve. It starts out cute (like on the 3rd-grade level) then gets very bad through the middle, then high-school grades, then kind of kind of fluctuates through college, then dips back down once one enters the real world.
Some turn into nice people earlier than others. If the college douchebagginess is still as high as it was in high school, it might not ever go away. So you hope for the diminishing to start early.
Earl, if you’re going to stay at some level your whole life, the 3rd-grade level is good.
Kate, even if it were, it most likely wouldn’t have come from me. I have little to no coolness, therefore, no new slang comin’ from this guy.
CC, I’m the same way. I had such a hard time adjusting to Ville Niemenin (sp?) when the Sharks picked him up a few seasons back. hated that guy because when he played for Calgary he ran around kicking the shit out of the Sharks players during the playoffs. All the while he had that stupid grin on his face and it drove me nuts.
I grew to like him anyways, just like you, I adopt players pretty easily.
I’m afraid that a team I hate will acquire someone I used to respect
That is so the worst. And even more annoying is when a team I hate acquires someone who makes them good.
I know I’m a geek, but I love, LOVE trade deadline day and draft day.
I love trade deadline day, too, even though, as mentioned in the post, the Devils never do anything. What I love about it is, I have a mind like a steel trap. I remember dates from art history tests I took 11 years ago; I remember conversations from 5 years ago; I remember movie quotes like it’s no one’s business. But trades? No way. I’ll look at ESPN’s Tradetracker and say, “Uh, Joe Thornton went to SJ.” And then 30 seconds later I’ll think, “I wonder if there were any big trades today?” And then I’ll turn on the TV three days later and fall out of my chair when I see Joe Tho in teal. It’s like the trade deadline is a gift that keeps on giving!
(And thanks for the story, Gambler.)
Andrew, we have to pretty much live vicariously through other teams on trade deadline day and draft day, since Lou never does anything interesting.
Regier’s not generally a thrill a minute, so I know where you’re coming from on this. I mean, he tends to be more active than Lou, but not by much.
Schnookie, I feel ya, Darcy Reiger doesn’t throw a lot of players around either. Just little modifications here and there.
But I’m telling you Doug Wilson keeps me on my toes. That guys has a freakin’ merry-go-round going in SJ. at least it keeps things interesting.
Kate, I responded to your comment on my blog but I’m going to drag the conversation over here anyway. My husband’s new theory is that the Sabres are making Vanek the priority and they’re waiting to see what they might have to tie up in him before moving ahead with Chris and Danny. I guess teams can start contacting RFAs starting today so that might give them a clearer picture of whether or not Vanek is going to get any offer sheets.
I think both his theory and yours have merit though I will point out that he’s about as desperate as you to keep Chris around :-)
I’m afraid that a team I hate will acquire someone I used to respect
It really is terrible when that happens. It’s hard to like any player on a team you truly hate, no matter how much you want to. I still have some lingering disklike for Brett Hull after really liking him.
It didn’t affect my love for Nieuwendyk, though, so I attributed it to not hating the Devils as much as I thought. Wasn’t their fault they were able to sucker the Stars. :P
DISLIKE, not disklike. Sheesh.
Yeah, yeah, I realize that it’s a really boring story, and that it would have been more indicative of personality if he had been a total dick to the guy, but at least I warned you. I guess I just have a soft spot for stories like that, because I know the kind of whiny, dickish people my dad has to work with everyday. People who just want him to give them their workman’s comp and not do his job.
In other news, I just found out yesterday that one of my brother’s friends is being majorly courted by Max Afinogenov’s best friend. He was at my house for ten minutes yesterday and got about 5 text messages from her. I’m anticipating some good stories as a result of this.
And, Earl, I like to think of the douchebag scale as a normal distribution type-deal. A bell curve, if you will. It flattens out towards the ends because you’re either too young to be intentionally douchey, or maturity has (hopefully) set in. It peaks somewhere around the middle of high school, but doesn’t really start to drop off until after college.
My husband’s new theory is that the Sabres are making Vanek the priority and they’re waiting to see what they might have to tie up in him before moving ahead with Chris and Danny.
If I were Darcy Regier, that’s exactly what I’d be doing, too.
On the flip side of seeing a player you like go to a team you hate, there’s always that delightful matching of hate to hate. Like when Mike Peca went to Toronto. Has there ever been so perfect a fit of loathable player with ugsome team?
I think the douchebaggery scale is kind of a bell-curve. It starts out cute (like on the 3rd-grade level) then gets very bad through the middle, then high-school grades, then kind of kind of fluctuates through college, then dips back down once one enters the real world.
Wow, I’m a really slow typer today, sorry everyone! But Patty, thanks for reading my mind!
He was at my house for ten minutes yesterday and got about 5 text messages from her
That’s major courting? Excuse me, I have to go kill a guy about my sister.
Trades always result in me wasting half a day wondering what sort of effect they’ll have. Good times.
Trade Day Excitement….Try being an Oiler fan. Nuff Said.
Poor Oilers fans *patpat*
Heather, I was in the middle of commenting on your blog when I saw your response here! Soon we are going to have to hang out in real life because cyber space is getting too confusing!
In other news, I just found out yesterday that one of my brother’s friends is being majorly courted by Max Afinogenov’s best friend
Max Afinogenov is best friends with a girl? That’s pretty cook!
That’s pretty cook!
Katebits just won the “Comment That Made Schnookie Laugh Out Loud The Hardest” award, but it has to be shared with andrew.
word.
Nice one Kate!
If I were Darcy Regier, that’s exactly what I’d be doing, too.
Me too, Schnookie. I would prefer that he attempt to sign Vanek to a contract now rather than waiting around to match someone else’s offer but for all I know, he’s been attempting to do that. Unlike much of Buffalo, I flatly refuse to believe that Regier has been sitting around like a bump on a log for the past month or so. He’s not an idiot, people!
Heather, I was in the middle of commenting on your blog when I saw your response here! Soon we are going to have to hang out in real life because cyber space is getting too confusing!
Sorry, Kate. I’m on vacation and just sitting around doing nothing and I figured you’d see a comment here first. It’s absurd how I want to both not think about any of this free agency stuff and talk about nothing else!
Unlike much of Buffalo, I flatly refuse to believe that Regier has been sitting around like a bump on a log for the past month or so. He’s not an idiot, people!
News flash: Much of Buffalo has been sitting around like bumps on a log. Idiots.
I kind of like cook!
heather, I’m with ya. Darcy is not a dummy.
News flash: Much of Buffalo has been sitting around like bumps on a log. Idiots.
Sorry, Katebits and andrew — your day with the award is over. Please hand it over to Earl now.
That has got to be one of the shortest lengths of award possession we’ve had so far.
your day with the award is over. Please hand it over to Earl now.
Ooh, that might signal my advancement to the fourth grade!
Unlike much of Buffalo, I flatly refuse to believe that Regier has been sitting around like a bump on a log for the past month or so. He’s not an idiot, people!
Same here. He’s deliberate, but I seriously doubt that he’s lazy. I don’t read anything into it though. People in Buffalo–and I feel that I can say this with some authority having grown up there, even if I’m no longer a resident–aren’t happy unless they have 10 different things to moan about. Which is the case in many places, but particularly so in Buffalo.
EARL! That was douchbaggery at a 12th grade level with nursery school level finesse! meanie! MEAN EARL!
Hey, if insulting a city is all it takes to win the award these days….standards have really fallen around IPB!
I get worried when Earl starts being nice. Yeah, for Doucherocket Earl being back.
Sleek’s owing a lot of people IPBailey’s today :P
It’s hard to like any player on a team you truly hate, no matter how much you want to.
The only reason I could both hate the Flyers and love Biron equally for the tail end of last season was because a) they sucked, and b) they only played the Sabres once. If they actually get good next season, I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Max Afinogenov is best friends with a girl? That’s pretty cook!
Yes, but he’s also best friends with a 30-year-old who likes to spend her time hitting on 20-year-olds through text messages. So, maybe that makes it a little less cook.
Hey, if insulting a city is all it takes to win the award these days….standards have really fallen around IPB!
Yeah, what can I say? You all should have realized by now that it doesn’t take much to make me laugh — that award really isn’t much to be proud of. (Seriously. Just ask Pookie how hard I laugh at the Keystone Kops. This is not a sophisticated sense of humor we’re talking about.)
I suspect the only way Earl is ever going to be able to repay us all is to throw a pretty serious OMGWTFBBQ for the IPB Irregulars.
Yes, but he’s also best friends with a 30-year-old who likes to spend her time hitting on 20-year-olds through text messages. So, maybe that makes it a little less cook.
No, that’s pretty much the definition of cook, Gambler!
juuuuust kidding.
Yeah, what can I say? You all should have realized by now that it doesn’t take much to make me laugh — that award really isn’t much to be proud of.
You know, I swear to God I was over the fact that I’d never won it. But you just had to go stab me in the back there. Thanks so much Schnookie ;P
I suspect the only way Earl is ever going to be able to repay us all is to throw a pretty serious OMGWTFBBQ for the IPB Irregulars.
OK, but I will be carding all you kids, not so much for drinking age, but more to test the precision of your license statistics.
Shit…I am out.
Yes, but he’s also best friends with a 30-year-old who likes to spend her time hitting on 20-year-olds through text messages. So, maybe that makes it a little less cook.
I think the question now becomes, “But is she a hot 30-year-old?” No? Too Shallow? This 20-year-old guy is markedly more mature than most?
Good thing my license is pretty new :P
I am a non-hot almost 30 year old….does that count?
OK, but I will be carding all you kids, not so much for drinking age, but more to test the precision of your license statistics.
::Makes a note to wear heels::
People in Buffalo–and I feel that I can say this with some authority having grown up there, even if I’m no longer a resident–aren’t happy unless they have 10 different things to moan about.
TOO TRUE. But, even so, you’d think people could find 10 different things about the Bills to focus their moaning on. Instead poor Darcy has to suffer.
And okay, I’ll admit, I’ve done my fair share of bitching about Regier (yes I am a Buffalonian, and yes I have been sitting around like a bump on a log), but I’m not actually worried. I know he has his shit in order and that everything will be fine. But it seems like he’s taunting the people of Buffalo by not even pretending to try and do anything about it. Every time he’s asked about it, he’s just like “Yeah, we’re sort of, kind of, working on it. I mean I’ve called their agents once or twice. Maybe. Unless that wasn’t their answering machine I left a message on.” It’s like he wants to see how pissed off people can get at him. And actually, now that I think about it, that’s pretty awesome!
I wonder if she talks like Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle, because hanging out with her and Max would seriously be too funny. Can you imagine the conversation?
OK, but I will be carding all you kids, not so much for drinking age, but more to test the precision of your license statistics.
Shit, now I’m not only going to be having stressful dreams about being pulled over, but also about being rejected from the OMGWTFBBQ because I don’t have my license.
I think the question now becomes, “But is she a hot 30-year-old?” No? Too Shallow? This 20-year-old guy is markedly more mature than most?
I don’t know for sure, but I’m going to infer from the fact that this 20-year-old isn’t more mature than most, that she is not, in fact, hot.
I wonder if she talks like Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle, because hanging out with her and Max would seriously be too funny. Can you imagine the conversation?
I tried, but my logical side stepped in and said “But they would be speaking Russian!” Damn it, my imagination is broken! Ah, I guess it’s okay, I have to go to work now anyway.
Bye Gambler!
Byebye Gambler!
You know, I swear to God I was over the fact that I’d never won it. But you just had to go stab me in the back there. Thanks so much Schnookie ;P
Aw, Mags, you know you’ll win it someday! And when you do, it will be really worth it! (My advice: slip on a banana peel or something. That never fails to crack me up.)
Bye Gambler!
Aw, Mags, you know you’ll win it someday! And when you do, it will be really worth it! (My advice: slip on a banana peel or something. That never fails to crack me up.)
Hey, I’m ok with it now. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just not that sort of funny. I’m the sort of crazy that equates Pronger to a polar bear (my one moment of true clarity) and had a head crammed full of trivia. And I’m totally ok with that.
If only you had known it was that easy Mags! You be carrying a banana peel with you to IPB everyday.
So going back to Earl’s OMGWTFBBQ, will I be barred admittance because my driver’s license is misspelled? (And man, would that be an annoying technicality getting between you and being rescued from those marauding bears… Me: “Oh thank goodness, Chopper Pilot, you’ve saved me!” Chopper Pilot: “Wait a minute, did you say your name is spelled with a ‘Q’? Because it clearly has a ‘G’ on the information the DMV gave me…”)
Shit, now I’m not only going to be having stressful dreams about being pulled over, but also about being rejected from the OMGWTFBBQ because I don’t have my license.
Oh, losing your license is a perfectly credible excuse. You’ll be exempted from the ID-checking, because I’m sure you’ll have your own lectures coming when you go get your new one.
I thing you are hysterical Mags
Seriously Schnookie? Your name is misspelled on your drivers license?
People in Buffalo–and I feel that I can say this with some authority having grown up there, even if I’m no longer a resident–aren’t happy unless they have 10 different things to moan about.
Yep, yep. My husband shakes his head at me every once in a while, saying, “You CLEARLY did not grow up in Buffalo.” Usually when I’ve said anything with even a tint of optimism or hope.
Oil, awww shucks. Thanks :)
Schnookie, seriously? Is that even legal?
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just not that sort of funny.
Yes you are, Mags! You make me laugh out loud every day! (Oh, wait, are we talking about laughing with or laughing at? :P) You also have a special place of honor here at IPB for being the only IPB Irregular who also happens to be a Devils fan. So once the season starts, and it’s just you, Pookie and me in here, the competition will be a lot less stiff…
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just not that sort of funny.
Don’t worry about it, Mags. This sort of funny is overrated. Sure you get a lot of awards, but the Bailey’s bills add up!
Seriously Schnookie? Your name is misspelled on your drivers license?
And anyway, how could they slip a G into S-C-H-N-O-O-K-I-E? It’s so easy to spell!
I will be here…Mags wont let me stay away…she needs her partner in Thread Killing……not to mention I have yet to actually pick a team for the east…so there is still hope.
As for the driver’s license, yes, that is true. There was a ‘Q’ and ‘G’ mix-up that I didn’t even notice for the first two years I had it. I believe it’s been fixed since then…
*checking wallet*
Whew! It’s right now. I can now rest easy knowing that A) I can get into the OMGWTFBBQ, and B) the Chopper Pilot will save me from those bears.
So once the season starts, and it’s just you, Pookie and me in here
Don’t kid yourself, your fame is only going to grow from here.(speaking of which, my Hockey Magazine is coming in the mail Friday, so expect scans of the article :D)
That and we added Iain to our ranks yesterday! We’re at 4 Devils fans now.
And anyway, how could they slip a G into S-C-H-N-O-O-K-I-E? It’s so easy to spell!
What’s especially embarrassing is that for two years I had a license that said S-G-H-N-O-O-K-I-E and never even noticed…
Heather, I think that’s one of the reasons I’m such a big Sabres fan. I grew up in a town here in CA that has that exact same mentality. Like a sister city, but in a depressing sort of way!
That and we added Iain to our ranks yesterday! We’re at 4 Devils fans now.
Baby steps… baby steps!
Schnookie…I think clearly we need to return you your fibbing about your weight………clearly A) no OMGWTFBBQ and B) Chopper pilot will just pass by mentioning the tasty treat.
Andrew I’ve just been assuming you were from Buffalo!
I found this stupidly hilarious, and it probably isn’t, but I’m going to tell you anyway, but “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” by Monty Python just came on on my iPod. I love it when iTunes tells me things :P
Schnookie…I think clearly we need to return you your fibbing about your weight…
I swear, the weight thing was an honest mistake! There wasn’t enough room on the form to fill it in correctly, so it’s a decimal point off… :P
nah, just a fan of the team. California born and bred.
Well I guess we can’t act all betrayed because of your love for the Sharks anymore!
Siriusly Andrew? I thought you were from Buffalo too. Whoops.
Okay, Kate and I have been discussing this whole RFA/Vanek/Briere/Drury thing (on 18 different blogs) and she asked me a question that I’m not sure about and I thought maybe one of you wonderful people would know.
If no one tenders Vanek an offer sheet, who determines his salary for next season? Vanek isn’t arbitration eligible because of his age when signed and years of professional experience combo so that’s out. Is the team only obligated to pay him his qualifying offer? All signs seem to point to the team working out a long-term contract with him now, but if they didn’t want to do that, what would happen?
See! That must be the pessimism of my hometown coming through. It just makes me sound like a Buffalonian.
Oooh! I stumped Heather!
I doubt no one will offer him an offer sheet, but yeah Buffalo really only needs to do a qualifying offer. :X But he can always refuse I guess. But you don’t right, especially if you know no one is offering you an offer sheet :X
OK, but I will be carding all you kids, not so much for drinking age, but more to test the precision of your license statistics.
Barring no obstacles and failures, Vinny will receive her real driving license on Wednesday.. yay!
If no one tenders Vanek an offer sheet, who determines his salary for next season? Vanek isn’t arbitration eligible because of his age when signed and years of professional experience combo so that’s out. Is the team only obligated to pay him his qualifying offer?
If no one tenders him an offer sheet, and the Sabres don’t want to negotiate, his choices would be to either sign the offer sheet or sit out.
OMG, A-Oil has gone over the top with her gift-giving. Say hello to my second lucky green shirt!
“GREEN SHIRTS ARE FOR PIMPS”
Edit: I meant “sign the qualifying offer.”
Okay, Vinny, that’s what I thought! I even broke open the CBA but geez, that was the most boring read in quite a while.
So there you go, Kate. If Vanek gets no offer sheets, the Sabres really only have to pay him the qualifying offer which, in his case is 105% of last year’s salary, I think just under a million. Or maybe just over. I can’t remember.
For the record though this only applies to Vanek. There are different groups of RFAs – Vanek is Group II – determined by a number of different factors and some are arbitration eligible, again depending on things like age when signed, current age, and years of professional play. For example, I want to say that Derek Roy is eligible for arbitration if he and the team can’t come to an agreement, but I could be wrong.
Thanks to you too, Meg. I was typing my last comment while yours posted so I hadn’t seen it yet.
Nice observation on the Vanek situation Katebits…your hockey-fan-street-cred has definitely been bumped up a notch.
*applauds A Oil* You’re made of awesome lady :D
“GREEN SHIRTS ARE FOR PIMPS”
The loose plan (as I was explaining to A-Oil over AIM) is next year I will wear this green shirt under my other green shirt, so then when people ask me about my questionable team colors, I can offer an easy visual explanation.
Earl, that’s a fantastic plan!
Sounds like a plan :D
pimpin’ Earl. juuust pimpin’.
Whoa. Heather, are you the players association rep or something? What are you doing with their CBA in your back pocket while on vacation?! :)
Dang. The levels of RFA are too complicated for my pea brain to comprehend. I’m just going to stick to fretting about Drury, Briere and Vanek if you don’t mind. Once you toss Derek Roy in there, I just get fussy and feel like I need to lie down for awhile.
HOCKEY-FAN-STREET-CRED?! I have some?! Wow. That’s crazy talk, andrew. You just wait and see, I’ll say something inane in about a matter of minutes to wipe out any legitimate cred I may have fooled you into believing I possess.
Erm, weren’t we talking about pickles a while ago? Threadless loves us
(hey, more green shirts :D)
The levels of RFA are too complicated for my pea brain to comprehend.
Speaking of things I willfully ignore… After all those years of Brendan Morrison, Patrik Elias, Jason Arnott and Scott Niedermayer holding out as RFAs, I just can’t even think about them. I close my eyes during the summer and when I open them in October I just hope to see all my boys back in camp. And if they do get involved in an ugly holdout (Morrison), they shouldn’t expect for me to ever forgive them until they get Hep A from eating tainted shellfish (or, as we like to call it, “foecal oysters”), cram one amazing UFA contract year into, like, 35 games, then panic at the free-agency deadline and sign an lifetime deal with the Devils.
I LOVE THREADLESS :D
I esp love the Milk/Chocolate Milk (infidelity) shirt :D i’ve been wanting to get it forever.
Tainted shellfish, or as I like to call it, a “Siberian prostitute”.
Tainted shellfish, or as I like to call it, a “Siberian prostitute”.
Well, yes… :P
Tainted shellfish, or as I like to call it, a “Siberian prostitute”.
*gigglesnort*
This has been one amazing thread today, everyone; I’m almost sorry to say I have to leave, now that my endless workday is actually ending. I’ll just toss my 2 cents in to say that I don’t think Vanek’s getting any offer sheets, and that Buffalo will mostly likely be smart enough to sign him to a nice contract. As for the Devils RFAs, I’m trying my darnedest not to think about it at all.
Okay, kids, I’m off to the farm and the grocery store. If we get the Sabres “One To Remember” tonight, we’ll be incommunicado for much of the evening as we diarize it. If we don’t, we’ll be here, Katamariing it up and wondering why no one wants to hang out with us… So stick around — it should be fun!
I thought Philly was trying to sign Vanek :X
I think it just comes to a point where the compensation > Vanek esp bc the next two drafts are so apparently deep, and Buffalo uses the money to keep both briere and drury :X.
But Buffalo should be smart enough :D
on adopting a player btw, after Vesa’s interview, I completely adopt my new Leaf :X
:0 Bye Pookie & Schnookie :D. ookies :X. cookies. yum.
My mum is making cookies :X
on adopting a player btw, after Vesa’s interview, I completely adopt my new Leaf :X
Oh, you’ll like him even more when he’s making big save after big save.
But I never thought your real problem would come with Vesa; it’s Mark Bell that will really test your adoptability.
Byebye -ookies!
See you around!
Bye Pookie, Schnookie. have a good ‘un.
Yeah, Vinny you’re gonna like Vesa. good kid. You’ll like Mark Bell too, but only after he takes on Brian McGrattan. the guy will fight anyone.
I remember that trade…it was unbelievably good. No wonder Lou is still around and going strong.
I think the thing to do with guys like Mark Bell is to willfully ignore his salary–that will make things more palatable. It certainly helped me in some tough times watching Jeff Friesen play for Anaheim.
Kate, the CBA is, believe it or not, available as a PDF file on NHL.com.
I was freaking out about offer sheets when the season ended, but I have to say I’m leaning toward Pookie’s belief that no one is actually going to pony up. Vinny, I think there is a point where the compensation becomes greater than Vanek, but I don’t think anyone is going to offer that much. The Sabres haven’t been shy about how much they value Vanek and I think someone would have to offer 5 million before the Sabres walk – and that’s a lot of dough. The Sabres are not historically big spenders but I think they do whatever it takes to keep Vanek and Miller around as long as possible.
The Freezer! Man, poor Jeff Friesen. He really fell from grace didn’t he?
Well, he’s still got the G7 streak to lean back on. Problem is, it doesn’t help that much when the Flames get eliminated in six.
Doesn’t four million already guarantee a first, a second and a third? Or was it a first and two seconds? Ackkk I don’t remember. :X But it was a lot. With such a deep draft… and then you could even use multiple firsts to move up to #1 to get Tavares! :D (okay by this point I’m just dreaming.)
I think the thing to do with guys like Mark Bell is to willfully ignore his salary–that will make things more palatable.
I can’t do it. It’s money that’s costing my Leafs not to get Drury. And at this point, Peca. Or anyone worth it in the UFA market. :X
great :X now i’ve gone and killed IPB.
… all in a day’s work.
Fuck this is long. Blah I have to go to work soon, my internet time is always shorter when I’m attacked by the workies. Oh and girls, I hope you don’t think I sit in a dark corner swigging some vodka and knitting a beautiful scarf. I can’t knit to save my life but I can drink.
I hope I killed the comments!
Ahhh, Jeff Friesen. When I was new to hockey and had only been concentrating on my own team, I started trying to branch out and get to know some other players from around the league. I happened to read a schmaltzy article about poor Jeff Friesen who had been “unfairly” traded. I thought, “Poor guy. I’m going to be his friend.”
Kinda jumped too soon. In no time I stopped hearing about him and forgot about him and then just would hear the occasional what-happened-to-Friesen kind of stuff. I even forgot which trade it was that I noticed. So he didn’t really hold my interest.
Jeff Friesen wishes he could grow a moustache like George Parros.
Jordi, I’ll swig vodka with you, no knitting though.
Vinny, you killed the thread because you got too many anti-Leaf fans in here! J/K
Jordi I’m sending you good knitting vibes. Now I hope I don’t lose all of my knitty mojo and screw up my summery wrap because that would suck.
Someone needs to teach me how to knit properly. :D
… Why does it always have to be my leafs? I mean.. they’re Original Six! They wear pretty colours! …
Ahem, so are the Rangers, and I hate them too.
I can’t knit to save my life but I can drink.
Yeah, I’ve been working very hard to avoid any life-or-death situations that are dependent on my ability to knit, also.
Instead, I’ve been more intensely focusing on different potential life-or-death scenarios that are based on my ability to solve Expert Minesweeper grids.
Vinny, sorry about the Leafs-trashing. It’s in my nature, I really can’t help it. I’m trying to be better though.
I meant to ask you…I’ve never paid close enough attention, can Wade Belak handle the puck? I mentioned earlier that Mark Bell’s a good fighter, but if you already got Belak it kind of doesn’t matter. So is he just a goon or can he actually skate?
… Why does it always have to be my leafs? I mean.. they’re Original Six!
That is part of the problem I have with the Leafs–so damn traditional, and they don’t let us forget it, either. Duck fans were despised by Leaf fans before we even existed.
They wear pretty colours! …
Yeah, we used to wear pretty colors (insert a “u” if you must) too, before pressure from hockey traditionalists made Anaheim convert their uniforms to something more bland and Leaf-approved.
Sorry, Vinny. I think it’s just something that gets taught very early to new hockey fans, especially those of expansionish teams. We hate the Leafs almost defensively because of the vocal Leafs fans who would like to see us contracted.
I dunno Earl, eggplant and green never really seemed that appealing to me. I like the Ducks’ uni’s a lot better now.
I have a friend who’s a diehard Kings fan and we fight over who has the lamer colors: Sharks have the teal, but the Kings jerseys are purple lined with glittery silver. Once Buffalo brought the out the slug, it was all over. I can’t win.
…. FINE. I shall go sell my soul and cheer extra loudly for my leafs game opener. Assuming I’m not at school and all that. I’m actually really anticipating to see who gets opening night – raycroft or toskala.
I meant to ask you…I’ve never paid close enough attention, can Wade Belak handle the puck?
I’ve seen Bell fight, and honestly, I’d probably want Belak to do it. But Bell talent definitely > Belak. So i’d probably want Bell there over Belak. I wouldn’t play Belak any second over four-five minutes max.
But that’s just me right :X
I happen to think the Sharks colours are pretty hip. But yeah, Buffalo wins.
The Kings’ new home sweater doesn’t look..quite.. that bad :X
I dunno Earl, eggplant and green never really seemed that appealing to me.
That’s fine. But I hear that a lot more from non-fans than I did from fans. I sure wish actual team fans had more to say on the subject–I totally miss the old cartoon duck and his wacky colors.
But I suppose enough winning will make a guy like anything, even the blandest least-offensive “is it ok if we spell out the name?” jersey you can imagine.
I like the Sharks colors, and they’re not bad. He’s just a Kings fan, they don’t have much to brag about.
Belak sounds like Andrew Peters. Decent fighter, but I cringe everytime the puck is on his stick. 3-4 minutes per night, max.
Belak sounds like Andrew Peters. Decent fighter, but I cringe everytime the puck is on his stick. 3-4 minutes per night, max.
I don’t really cringe. it’s just nothing productive comes out of his shifts :X.
I like the sharks’ uniform :0 it’s not that bad. Beats Kings :X.
Vinny killed the comments again :P
Young lady, if you keep going like this Oil and me are going to be out a job, cut it out already.
Look at this weird thing you can do on the NHL team sites because of the universal platform!
Sid the Kid as a Sabre
All you have to do is change the name of the team at the begining of the page address and you can put the players on whatever team you want.
But i like how he’s still wearing a penguins jersey :D
HAHA the other day someone did a Ovechkin in Leafs jersey (sorry CC :X) page. Fun stuff.
HAHA sorry Mags :X Maybe i’m just more cut out for this job :0
Jaroslav Spacek as a Flyer
Kate, ha, that’s cute. Except the last time I switched Sid to another team I nearly got beheaded by a Devils fan. (Yeah, I traded him for Gomez in my NHL game, bite me)
Didn’t Ovie want to be a Leaf originally? Way bizarre.
Wow, good hunting, Katebits!
Is it possible to make Marty Gerber look like an NHL goaltender, also?
Stop teasing me Kate, Spacek as a Flyer would be such a welcome change!
I know Andrew!
I just read about this on one of the Sabres message boards. Apparently one of our crack local news teams were dupped by this and did a story today about how the Rangers had Drury on their online roster. Heh.
Earl, that’s hate! Poor Martin Gerber. He just wants to keep backing up Stanley Cup Finals games. Is that so much to ask?
Journalistic integrity at it’s finest.
Drury as a Ranger….shudder the thought.
Yeah, and I like Gerber. I was just trying to think of a good example: could you put Alexander Mogilny into a Devils uniform?
Earl man, that’s not right.
Drury as a Ranger. I just choked on a cookie.
The trouble is many of the teams haven’t switched to the universal platform yet. I can’t move anybody to or from the Devils. I tried that right away in order to get the -ookie’s goats, but no dice.
oh man. NONONONONO T_T Drury! I’m so glad they don’t have the money for Drury. I THINK :X!
:X Stupid teams :D Think of all the possibilities!
Bob McKenzie wrote a blurb today on restricted free agents who might get offers.
The ones he cites as possible targets? Buffalo’s Tomas Vanek, New Jersey’s Zach Parise, Anaheim’s Dustin Penner, and Ottawa’s Ray Emery.
(gulp), now a lot of us have some stake in this discussion.
Drury to SJ is cool with me. They need some leadership anyway. Other than that, I just don’t know….
Alex Mogilny….that’s like getting Adam Deadmarsh into a Kings uniform.
Alex Mogilny….that’s like getting Adam Deadmarsh into a Kings uniform.
Well, Deadmarsh I believe was knocked out of the league by an NHL player’s check. Mogilny I believe was knocked out of the league by Lou’s checkbook.
NOO! ZACH MUST STAY!
No, I’m not articulate at the moment, I don’t care.
OK, time to head home and try on the new green shirt. Later, IPB!
also by salary cap. Unless someone offers Parise a huge offer sheet, compensation being too great (not that I think Lou’s scouting staff are among the league’s best :X)…. they might let him go? I mean New Jersey’s pretty tight on the cap aren’t they? But I like him in a Jersey sweater :D
there were rumours that the Leafs might’ve put in an offer sheet for hometown Emery (imagine that) just to screw the Sens over in their tight little cap world :D
see ya Earl
Bye Earl!
YES! I killed it!
But yeah, Buffalo wins.
Yay! We win something!
You win a great many things Heather. Don’t worry about that.
Alright gang, work’s over. I’m headed home. Everyone have a great night!
Bye Andrew!
adios Andrew
Nerts. No Sabres to Remember for us tonight. Stupid Directv and their nonsensical “program is not available in your area” rules!
Katamari to remember, then?
Yes, Earl, it looks that way. Maybe preceded by a Mythbusters to Remember.
Way to go, MSG. Let’s show a game where Vanek makes one of the best plays ever on the day when other teams can start talking to him. I hope no other GMs are watching this right now.
oooh….the mythbusters episode I just watched was if duck’s quack echos….I think it was rather appropriate.
How does that shirt work for you Earl?
Yeah, screw you MSG!
If you are a GM for another team, you should know, Vanek SUCKS! And he’s a trouble maker. All he does is drink whiskey and clean his gun collection. He’s a time bomb. A dangerous, untalented time bomb. I also heard he’s got terrible gambling debts.
How does that shirt work for you Earl?
It fits great, but like Mags before me, I am struggling to take my own picture.
Seriously you all.
I think Lowe takes the cake
Earl, that art is going to take years to perfect.
And he’s a trouble maker. All he does is drink whiskey and clean his gun collection. He’s a time bomb. A dangerous, untalented time bomb. I also heard he’s got terrible gambling debts.
Just like Jagr! And look how that worked out for Washington. Seriously, GMs, the Vanek thing can’t end well…
Earl…mags is watching you on TV right now….
I’m sure IPB is where all the GMs come for their scouting information!
I’m sure IPB is where all the GMs come for their scouting information!
Don’t you even doubt it. Lou has IPB Manor on speed dial.
The Sabres seem to be losing their Game to Remember. What idiot chose this game?! :D
Earl…mags is watching you on TV right now….
Hey, who’s that idiot?! Oh wait, it’s Sleek!
–NHL’s motto 2007-08
Last we checked, Katebits, the Rangers were also losing their Game to Remember…
And yes, Lou has us on speed dial; we are a very small part of his orchestra. And right now we’re saying, “Don’t re-sign Rafalski… Don’t re-sign Rafalski… Please, dear god, don’t re-sign Rafalski.” It remains to be seen, even though he calls us a lot, whether Lou actually listens.
That’s so going up on the noteboard behind the TV.
Wait, seriously Mag? What game? G2 of the SCF?
Ooh, wait! The Sabres are coming back! Wouldn’t it be crazy if the Sabres won this thing?!
If you are a GM for another team, you should know, Vanek SUCKS! And he’s a trouble maker. All he does is drink whiskey and clean his gun collection. He’s a time bomb. A dangerous, untalented time bomb. I also heard he’s got terrible gambling debts.
Nice, Katebits. But you forgot to add the PS: Drury and Briere are even worse. Remember that, GMs. Tell your friends.
In other news, my TiFaux sucks. After I professed my love for it last week, it decided to tell me it was going to record the Sabres game tonight and then not. For some unknown reason. Luckily, there’s a repeat tomorrow at noon, but that adds delays to my already over-delayed game diary. Suckage.
Yeah, we kind of suspected the Rangers were going to come back in their game, too. That’s why we turned it off. (Although it was against the Pens — we saw some Sid tonight! Yay! He looked so bitsy.)
Drury and Briere are even worse. Remember that, GMs. Tell your friends.
Oh my GAWD! Drury and Briere are THE WORST! What a couple of doucherockets. Drury is a real flake, you can’t count on that guy for anything, and Briere is just slow and stupid. Really a dim bulb, that guy.
Briere is just slow and stupid.
Oh great, now you got the Flyers interested.
Kate, I really was beginning to wonder if we were coming back in this game. These Games to Remember are great for me because I really don’t remember specific games in that much detail. I was thrilled when Danny scored that breakway.
Still… We’re flipping between this and Hell’s Kitchen and every time we flip back to the game there’s a Sabre in the box, usually more than one. We really started early on that whole special teams thing, didn’t we?
What if they slip a really mean Game to Remember, like ECF game 3? Like: remember? REMEMBER, guys? Don’t forget, it wasn’t all fun and games. Remember?
Yeah, that third period was pretty much just Sabres sitting in the box looking all pouty. It was a pretty good night for the Paradise Penalty Box though!
Briere is just slow and stupid.
Oh great, now you got the Flyers interested.
Hee.
I’m glad you’re all having fun watching that Sabres game. I bet it was really awesome. But, you know, I didn’t want to watch it anyway… *Sniff, sniff.*
I don’t know what you’re all whining about. I don’t think the Ducks have one televised thing planned all summer. It’s possible they’ll do something hasty now, but this “best of” doesn’t really have a counterpart in SoCal.
But I’m liveblogging the silence.
Oh well Mags and I can’t get it so we are busy making stupid faces at each other on webcams to pass the offseason.
Annnd Vanek gets the game-winner in the shoot-out. Way to go, MSG. Way to go.
Soupy, Teppo, and Dru all in Paradise Penalty Box at the same time at one point. I could live with that 2 minutes.
But, you know, I didn’t want to watch it anyway… *Sniff, sniff.*
Oh, you’re lucky you didn’t see it Schnookie. It was terrible. The Sabres lost and Briere and Drury got into a fist fight. And Pommerdoodle cried.
Soupy, Teppo, and Dru all in Paradise Penalty Box at the same time at one point. I could live with that 2 minutes.
Yeah. That was a pretty good time. We all chased each other around the daisy field, and then Soupy and Teppo had a tickle fight.
Ah, the return of the Paradise Penalty Box.
Ah, the return of the Thread Killer.
It wasn’t dead for more than 10 minutes!
it isn’t a thread killer till we both show up….
…now it is dead.
Mmmmm, dead thread. Tasty.
The trouble is many of the teams haven’t switched to the universal platform yet. I can’t move anybody to or from the Devils. I tried that right away in order to get the -ookie’s goats, but no dice.
It’s easy to get the -ookie’s goats via the Devils website as is — just link to Rafalski. *shudder* Vinny, you suggested the Devils are up against cap space and would let Parise go if an offer sheet was tended — Schnookie and I are praying that the Devils won’t be up against the cap because they’ll decide to not bother re-signing Rafalski and Gomez. That money can then be used to re-sign RFA’s Parise and Paul Martin. See, Lou, it’s as easy as that!
As for Freisen’s mustache, have we have posited Boomer’s theory on this site yet? That in 2003 his mustache was actually just permanent marker that the guys drew on him while he slept on the team plane? Because that’s what it looked like.
[Editor's note: Pookie wrote this while logged in as Schnookie. Schnookie does not refer to herself in the third person. Often.]
And Pommerdoodle cried.
Well, now Schnookie knows you’re lying, Katebits. Pommerdoodle doesn’t cry, he whimpers.
So what it takes for this place to explode again is clearly the failure of my internet for the 2982958295th time this month.
And who among you wasn’t cheering my Tigers hard enough, hmmm?
Schnookie and I are praying that the Devils won’t be up against the cap because they’ll decide to not bother re-signing Rafalski and Gomez. That money can then be used to re-sign RFA’s Parise and Paul Martin.
but then you would need money to fill in the holes. and Dmen this season aren’t coming cheap. :X I’m sorry to bubble burst, Schnookie!
ahh.. the return of the PPB. That must’ve been a fun 2 minutes :X.
EARL
as in…who wasn’t cheering for the Tigers enough.
WTF? Tigers lost?! Damn, sorry Steph. I’ll try to let out an awkward “Go Tigers!” at the Angel game tomorrow.
I’ll once again reveal my lake of hockey knowledge: what’s wrong with Rafalski, Schnookie?
LACK of hockey knowledge. Not lake.
8-3 even – it was not a thing of beauty. Damn you Bonderman and your stupid inability to THROW TO FIRST.
I’m counting on you tomorrow Earl! Counting!
but then you would need money to fill in the holes. and Dmen this season aren’t coming cheap.
Yeah, but Paul Martin is a d-man, and it’s better to lock him up long-term (he’s only 26) than commit big dollars to being stuck with the tail end of Rafalski’s career, especially if Raffie’s going to find big offers on the UFA market. Lou re-signed Andy Greene already, and he’s a younger, cheaper Raffie who’s more effective on the point on the PP. The point of letting Gomez and Raffie go would be that the big-ticket UFA dollars could be spent on tying down our RFA’s — Greene would replace Raffie, and there are far cheaper ways to get 50 points from your top center than forking over $7M for Gomez.
what’s wrong with Rafalski, Schnookie?
Pookie just said, “GAH! How much time have you got?” The thing about Raffie is that he’s more than serviceable. He’s relatively solid positionally, he’s decent on the point, he’s savvy, and he has been, to this point, a career Devil. He’s also clearly hitting the latter stages of his career (on the horizon one can almost make out his giddy-up no longer giddying up), and can command a pretty hefty price considering the market for viable top-three (or even top-two, depending on your team) D-men. But we’re paying a lot of mid-level guys huge amounts of money (Gionta, Langenbrunner) and have two kids, in Johnny Oduya and Andy Greene, who do what Raffie does, but faster and cheaper. Plus we have big-money RFAs in Zach Parise and Paul Martin, and Martin becomes a UFA next season. In my opinion it would be best for the future of the Devils blueline to let Raffie go and lock up Paulie.
Oh, all of that said about Raffie, we both think he’d be a great pick-up for any team. Seriously. He’d be a much more proficient scorer with a more potent PP unit in front of him tipping those point shots, and he seems like the kind of guy who would be a perfect fit with a young d-corp. He’s also seemingly a really decent, nice guy. We kind of look at it this way: Raffie’s best years as a Devil are behind him, but he’s probably got a lot of good years left as an NHLer. (In any other year of Devils contracts I’d want to see him stay. I just don’t see how Lou can re-sign Raffie and Gomez and still lock up Paulie and Zach long-term, and those two should be a higher priority.)
Maybe he should bring his nice bald head to Buffalo!
Oh, should Scott Niedermayer retire, I’m definitely hoping Burke takes a serious look at Rafalski. He’s one guy who’s got experience replacing Scott Niedermayer, which threatens to be a rather pressing need.
Oh wait…potent PP unit, that’s not the slug way.
I think Raffie would be a perfect fit in Buffalo, actually. He’d probably thrive in an offensive system like that, and he’d look like a Norris candidate comparatively to his fellow d-men!
He’s one guy who’s got experience replacing Scott Niedermayer
He didn’t replace Nieder well, but by all means, have at him!
He didn’t replace Nieder well, but by all means, have at him!
Well, he didn’t have a Pronger to hide behind in Jersey. I’d rather go after Rafalski than Souray, though I’ll admit to not watching a lot of either this year. Am I crazy?
Okay, it’s bedtime for the -ookies. See you all tomorrow!
Yeah! Come to Buffalo Raffie!
You know it is so funny to look at the Devils profiles because of the afternoon I had to choose a favorite based on nothing but their pictures and their “personal” stats. Raffie was right in there for potential “Favorite Devil” for some reason…I suspect because of his perfectly round head. That’s reason enough for me!
Goodnight guys!
Grr, the inevitable cropping-up of Pronger to make my evening even more awesome :P
Not to mention they’re going to make me buy a drink or get out of this cafe – not fair at all! All I want is internet!
Oh wait…potent PP unit, that’s not the slug way.
It would help if the guy on the point would you know, SHOOT THE PUCK once in a while so if Raffy’s okay with that, hey, bring him on in. We could probably only pay him $17 a game though. Think that’ll fly?
He’d probably thrive in an offensive system like that, and he’d look like a Norris candidate comparatively to his fellow d-men!
My Tally-Ho insult senses are tingling!
I’d rather go after Rafalski than Souray
That would be a very wise move. Raffie is neither injury-prone, nor defensively as suspect as Souray. Sheldon was catastrophically minus last year; he’s going to get huge dollars because he has flashy offensive numbers, but that’s on a really dynamic power play. Since the Ducks already have Pronger, what in the hell would Souray bring to the table, other than being a burden on the cap and not normally capable of playing more than about 30 games a season. ?
No, no, she couldn’t have meant Hank, Heather! She just means Spacek and Kalinin. No way she meant Hank.
There, there Tally-ho. There, there.
I suspect because of his perfectly round head. That’s reason enough for me!
Raffie is really quite adorable in a normal-person kind of way. X had her picture taken with him at an autograph session and it totally looked like her and her prom date.
My Tally-Ho insult senses are tingling!
This comment prompted the following exchange:
Pookie: “What would Buffalo do if they had a defenseman who actually deserved to go to the All-Star Game?”
Schnookie, dripping scorn: “Like Raffie deserved to go there.”
Pookie: “Touche.”
Pookie, by the way, says, “What’s up with us talking interesting hockey when I’m falling asleep? Can we pick this up again tomorrow?”
I would be happy to discuss the merits of round, bald heads tomorrow!
Thanks Katebits! It’s a date!
And on that note, I think it’s off to bed! ‘Night, everyone! No sucking me back in with defenseman UFA talk now…
Does that mean for the rest of the night we are only allowed to talk about non-hockey related drivel? :P
Yes, Steph, it does.
“What would Buffalo do if they had a defenseman who actually deserved to go to the All-Star Game?”
First of all, Brian Campbell had a tremendous first half. The Campbell who screened his own goalie twice in the playoffs including on the season-ending goal didn’t deserve to go the All-Star Game, but end of previous season-first half of last season Campbell totally deserved it.
Second of all, was this comment supposed to calm the Tally-Ho insult senses? Because they’re still tingling, dammit and it’s tough to go to bed while they’re going off like this.
Pookie, by the way, says, “What’s up with us talking interesting hockey when I’m falling asleep? Can we pick this up again tomorrow?”
Oh, fine! But don’t think I’m going to forget about this in the next 12 hours!
Whoo, sign me up then! I think I’m much too wiped to have intelligent conversation.
You get your het up, Heather, and we’ll have a “who deserved it less: Raffie or Soupy?” debate tomorrow. (Spoiler: the correct answer is “Raffie deserved it less — at least Soupy got voted in”.)
Ugh. I got to find a way to keep Ducks out of future All-Star Games. It’s a useless no-hit game that doesn’t matter, and it just ends up costing a bump in pay later.
You heard it from the Habs fan: Sheldon is a hooker. He shoots a lot and likes it from behind.
Okay who cares, I hate Souray but I did it way before it became in vogue to do it. And hell, even I’m going “hey guys he wasn’t that bad” now. But I don’t know about the 6 mil on Markov. I’m still speechless.