Today’s post comes to us from John F., the man behind In Lou We Trust. ILWT is, for our money, the preeminent Devils blog out there, and if Lou actually believed in things like accessibility, the legitimacy of blogs or the internet in general, John’s the guy who would probably get to interview him. We owe a lot of our Devils readership (don’t laugh! Iain and Genna have nearly doubled our ranks!) to John, and we’re delighted to host such an august voice here on IPB. So give it up, Gentle Reader, for John F. and his reason he loves hockey! (And remember, we are always open to submissions to this ongoing series, and we are, frankly, running out of entries. If you have a reason you love hockey — any reason — and want to see your name in lights, send it to us at interchangeablepartsblog [at] gmail [dot] com.)
The Reason I Love Hockey
One thing that is quite obvious to most people who know me is that I really enjoy sports. I like soccer (namely the NY Red Bulls, Fulham, and the U.S. national team). I like football – both the pro game and the college version (thanks to Rutgers stepping it up). I even like playing basketball (though watching it has gotten difficult lately). However, one sport rules above them all: hockey. That should come as no surprise, as I spend quite a bit of time looking forward to New Jersey Devils games, other hockey events (e.g. playoffs, NHL Draft), and blogging about the best team in the tri-state area (it’s called In Lou We Trust, if you must know).
However, a valid question that you can ask me is why hockey? Why is hockey #1 in your heart, why do you say you “bleed Devils red” and so proudly? Why not, say, the classical works of Jean Sebastian Bach or literary works of contemporary authors of the mid-1800s?
In my opinion, J.S. Bach, the contemporary authors of the mid-1800s, or any supposed “proper” and “cultured” interest cannot compete with the excitement, energy, skill, and most importantly the passion that we see in sports. Where else can you see people devoted to a task to achieve success (note: a larger contract would be a success of sorts, but victory is more of what I’m talking about), where it is not only accepted but encouraged to literally put a majority of effort in competition at a physical, emotional, and mental cost. While I am not naïve enough to believe this happens in every game in every sport, it happens a lot more than anything else, in my opinion.
So that’s why I’m into sports, in a nutshell; but it relates to why I love hockey. The game of hockey, in my opinion, is simply the most exciting sport around. Namely, I am focusing on the NHL, which is the highest level of hockey, featuring the most talented hockey players in the entire world. The game is constantly flowing, only stopping if an infraction occurs, a goal occurs, or if the goaltender wills it. When it is flowing, it is fast and those who look away for only a brief moment could be robbed of seeing the glory of a goal. What’s more is the scoring itself. The vast majority of goals are all earned, even garbage goals resulting from a scrum. Goaltenders and defenders go to great lengths to stop the other team from scoring; risking their bodies at times just to rob the other team from going ahead in the score. When a goaltender gets hot and just starts making great saves, it is equally worthy of praise and respect similar to a forward just burning the opposition to bury a puck into the net. Not only is the game fast and comprised of players whose positions dictate and result in an entertaining struggle in competition, it is quite physical. Lowering the proverbial boom on an opposing player with the puck is gratifying and never boring. It’s not just a game that favors only the skilled, but also the toughness – be it by someone who provides the checks or who receives them. Hockey has it all and plenty of it: skill, toughness, excitement, and passion.
While I’m exaggerating a bit in my description and while I’m aware not every game is an epic struggle as the prior description may indicate, this is how I feel about hockey. To illustrate what I’m going on about, some examples from the prior season come to my mind. I see it when Zach Parise back-checks into his zone, shoves Petr Prucha down in the slot to prevent him from even thinking of scoring, picking up the loose puck, dishing it off, skating as fast as he can down the ice the other way, collecting a future pass while continuing to fly into the Rangers’ zone, and beats Henrik Lundqvist cleaner than a new car for a goal. I see it when Colin White gloriously dropped jerk extraordinaire Sean Avery in the corner with a brutal hit. I see it when Jay Pandolfo, a superstar only within his own family and IPB Manor, shuts down opposing star forwards such as Jaromir Jagr. I see it when Martin Brodeur makes a save so brilliant that it requires me to rewind the DVR just to get another look at it. And I always, always see it whenever a team has battled hard for 16 wins in the post season to earn the right to lift Lord Stanley’s Cup – regardless of who it is.
Those sorts of moments happen more often than I can count. OK, not all moments are the same, but these are examples of what I am talking about. It’s why I make a point of it to watch it on television, spend countless hours on the Internet reading or writing about it, and why I talk about it quite a bit – having all kinds of analogies to the sport pop up in my head.
To put it simply, the game of hockey played at its highest level is why I love hockey.

Very well put. Since I was never a serious fan of other sports, I was surprised how quickly I fell in love with hockey. And then I kind of understood my friends’ love for their sports.
I thought this was a great reason, too — Why do we love hockey? Because it’s hockey, people!!
I love the mention Schnookie! Did you guys catch the game tonight for the 15 to Remember? While most people were probably watching fireworks, I was watching the game with some sore feelings. As much as Luko is “replaceable”, I really like him as a player and I liked him on the team. He played (in general) with more heart than Gomer’s new salary. I don’t think that made sense, but I’m sure you get where I’m going with it.
So I got to watch the game knowing the next time we see Luko will be when we play Tampa which broke my heart, but at least he’s not with the Rags. Then I wondered why we signed Oduya other than the fact that we need defense. I know it was his rookie year and he will probably get better, but honestly I could really do without him even if he is one of our better looking players. As for Rafalski, yea, I loved his previous loyalty, but he wasn’t worth the money. And that my friend leads me to Gomer. I spent the time imagining what he could be saying to the other guys on the ice or making sarcastic remarks to the commentary regarding Gomer (like when Chico mentioned that if he decides to stay here and remains a lifelong Devil that he might get his number retired). Except it did sting when I realized that his beautiful carry-ins would be gone. Although, you know he probably thinks “ugh, I guess I’ll step it up now and glide through the defense and make them appear like they were immobile. Okay guys, I did it. That was one carry-in for the month, you have two more left. Remember I can veto them if I want.”
I loved Chico mentioning in the beginning of the game that “it looked like a pastry shop down there with all those turnovers” and all of the other priceless things that he and Doc say.
Have you heard about Souray? I wonder how much this will cost us if this is true. Regardless, I just hope Lou stops toying with my feelings. Yea, this comment was ridiculously long and filled with horrible grammar.
“it looked like a pastry shop down there with all those turnovers”
That. is. awesome.
Genna, we tivoed the game and will be diarizing it tomorrow — we’ll make a special mention of the turnover comment! :P
That was one carry-in for the month, you have two more left. Remember I can veto them if I want.
Hee! So true! And the thing that really got my goat with Gomer and the complete deference by the rest of the Devils offensive system to his puck-carrying was that it made the team incapable of dump-ins and puck-retrieval. It became most glaringly obvious in the Ottawa series, where it was just utterly apparent that if Gomer wasn’t going to carry the puck in over the blue line, the puck wasn’t going in at all. And if you look back over Patrik Elias’s career, he plays best on a cycling, puck-retrieval type line. Yes, we’ll definitely miss Gomer’s presence moving the puck forward on the PP, but was our PP really even all that good with him? I’m looking forward to seeing what the team looks like when the top line has to return to the concept of working for their offense (a la the ZZ Line) instead of standing around and waiting for their offense to come to them. As for Raffie, I think he’s entering the downside of his career — yes he’s still a serviceable d-man, but he’s small, he’s slow, and he’s not getting any younger. Greene and Oduya are both fully capable of stepping into Raffie’s spot on the point (which is why I like the Oduya signing — those two combined cost less than Raffie), and Paulie Martin had already taken over this spring in his job as our top minute-man. (Of course, if we get Souray, the whole PP thing becomes moot.) As for Lukowich, he really did manage to do a presentable job this season for us, didn’t he? It’s the fact that our coaching staff managed to make him a decent NHL d-man that has me confident, if this Souray thing happens, that Sheldon won’t be the defensive nightmare he was in Montreal. I mean, if Lukowich can look good, anyone can look good.
(And I’m of two minds on Souray. I think he can’t really hurt the team as an addition to the lineup, but I’m not thrilled at what he does to our Cap space. Although if we do sign him, I don’t want to hear a word from anyone about how ugly the Devils are. Between him, Zubrus, Zach and Travis, we’d be one hott team. [Because that's what's really important, right? :P])
Thank you for posting this Schnookie (and Pookie) as well as the compliments. I don’t know how good an interview with Lou Lamoriello would go, however. It could be 15 minutes of me asking, “You are considered to be the best GM in all of sports according to people who know what they are talking about, how flattered are you by being so awesome?” and variations of the exact same question. Too much awe. Again, thanks. (As a heads up, I may repost my own essay on In Lou We Trust later in the future if that’s not a problem. I would need it for future controversial posts I’ll write this summer.)
I’ll be the first to say I would not like Souray to sign with the Devils. Yes, he’s great from the point. Yes, he produces like it’s nobody’s business. Yes, the defense outside of Rafalski produced just about jack squat. But Souray is not good on the defensive side of things – something very important if one is a defenseman. I’m not worried about the cap space since the Devils have roughly $14 million in space – plenty to sign all the RFAs and nab Souray if they wanted to. What I am worried is whether the Devils can stop Souray from his tendencies to be out of position on defense and in giving the puck away (120 missed shots, 85 giveaways). If the Devils can help him be a better defender, I’ll gladly eat the proverbial crow on this potential signing. However, I don’t see that happening given what I have seen and known about Souray; so I can’t say I’m a fan of this potential signing.
That. is. awesome.
Haha, it was priceless of him. Chico tends to make random comments and sometimes stupid ones, but boy he can nail some winners. Sometimes he’s a little out there, but how can you not like the guy? Plus, Doc and him really have chemistry which makes the commentary so much better.
Schnookie, I believe there were a couple other sayings that I wanted to remember from the telecast. Unfortunately I do not have a DVR system of any type. Mama is a little technology inept and doesn’t see the need for such important things like DVR, movie packages, etc. We just got digital cable several months ago and that was only because Comcast was offering a pretty good deal. I think one was Doc either commenting on the Rags play or possibly the Devs PP and saying it was bad, maybe this one wasn’t mention worthy and just semi-funny.
Kind of random, but what does PaulieMartinNation think of his favourite book, Shakey: Neil Young’s Biography?
It could be 15 minutes of me asking, “You are considered to be the best GM in all of sports according to people who know what they are talking about, how flattered are you by being so awesome?” and variations of the exact same question.
That’s awesome, John! You know, that’s really exactly the interview Devils fans want to read, too. We need to work on getting Lou on board with this. You’d think Vanderbeek would want to embrace the Devils bloggers, what with all the free positive publicity we give the team, right? I can’t figure out why he hasn’t offered to comp us all to opening night at the Prudential Center… Hee hee! Seriously, of course we wouldn’t mind you reprinting your essay on ILWT.
As for Souray, I’m trying very hard to withhold judgement until the season starts. If signing Souray keeps Martin from signing long-term, I’ll never forgive Souray. But if the Devils can lock-up Martin for a few years, and the if the coaches can get Souray playing responsibly again (I agree with Schnookie that that it not outside the realms of possibility; they’re reclaimed players worse than Souray) I won’t complain. If signing Souray causes Martin to leave next year, and if Souray keeps up his defensively suspect ways, I will complain. A lot.
Kind of random, but what does PaulieMartinNation think of his favourite book, Shakey: Neil Young’s Biography?
I have to admit, even as a card-carrying member of PaulieMartinNation, I have not read this book. I also don’t listen to Neil Young. So really my opinion on this matter is governed entirely by the fact that he listed a favorite book at all. Since that’s relatively rare, I’ll overlook the fact that he didn’t list my favorite book (“The Count of Monte Cristo”).
So really my opinion on this matter is governed entirely by the fact that he listed a favorite book at all. Since that’s relatively rare, I’ll overlook the fact that he didn’t list my favorite book (”The Count of Monte Cristo”).
Listed a favorite book and it wasn’tThe DaVinci Code, no less. That alone ups him in my estimation.
As for Souray, I’m trying very hard to withhold judgement until the season starts.
I can’t imagine Souray actually filling any of the Devils’ needs at the moment though. He’s got a bomb from the point but I actually don’t think the Devils have trouble scoring despite popular belief.
I actually don’t think the Devils have trouble scoring despite popular belief.
That’s so sweet, Sherry! But actually, scoring for the Devils is like pulling teeth. Last year, especially, our game plan was to get the ONE goal the lineup was, on average, good for, then hope that some random dude who doesn’t normally score gets something on a flukey, crazy play. The Devils scored an impossible number of game-tying goals with Marty pulled and an extra attacker on, because desperation and a numbers advantage was the only way they were really able to put the puck in the net. And the PP was especially troublesome, because they never dumped and chased (relying solely on Gomez’s abilities to carry the puck in), and in the unlikely event that they were able to set up in the offensive zone, they just passed around the perimeter because the pointmen were unwilling/incapable of shooting. (You were clearly wearing your Senators Playoff Goggles while watching that series against us — it was ultimately our moribund offense that did us in.) I worry a lot less about the defensive abilities of guys coming into the system, because the coaching staff can work with that (see: Gomez, Scott); it’s the having to count on John Madden for 20 goals (never going to happen again) that gets me worried.
Genna, perhaps PaulieMartinNation needs to do a reading aloud of Paulie’s favorite book! Pookie, I think this would be an hilarious summer activity!
Genna, perhaps PaulieMartinNation needs to do a reading aloud of Paulie’s favorite book! Pookie, I think this would be an hilarious summer activity!
I just checked and the library does have it. Hmm… tempting, veeery tempting.
Last year, especially, our game plan was to get the ONE goal the lineup was, on average, good for, then hope that some random dude who doesn’t normally score gets something on a flukey, crazy play. The Devils scored an impossible number of game-tying goals with Marty pulled and an extra attacker on, because desperation and a numbers advantage was the only way they were really able to put the puck in the net.
Are you sure you’re not talking about the Stars?
I’ve ended up defending the criticisms that come from signing someone like Souray, I’ve hit rock bottom.
Day whatever and the Jussi clock is ticking.
I’ve ended up defending the criticisms that come from signing someone like Souray, I’ve hit rock bottom.
It’s alright, Jordi, it’s not as though Souray isn’t a player who contributes. He’s defensible. It’s his salary that isn’t likely to be.
Day whatever and the Jussi clock is ticking.
We’ll take Jussi for Gerber? :D
(relying solely on Gomez’s abilities to carry the puck in)
Which, I’m always loathe to see when you’re on the PP since no matter how great you are, you’re always leaving yourself vulnerable to get picked off.
it’s not as though Souray isn’t a player who contributes. He’s defensible. It’s his salary that isn’t likely to be.
I agree a gazillion percent with Meg on this, Jordi. Souray’s a perfectly decent player. I’m just sweating bullets at what he’ll likely cost the Devils (if he’s actually signing with them). Here’s hoping he’s planning to take a “Friend of Marty” discount!
Which, I’m always loathe to see when you’re on the PP since no matter how great you are, you’re always leaving yourself vulnerable to get picked off.
Exactly! Especially when you’re Scott Gomez, you just realize you tanked your entire contract year, and you’re trying to squeeze an entire season’s worth of stats into one playoff series so you decide you can skate the puck all by your lonesome through all four penalty killers challenging on the blue line. That’s not, probably, the way I’d draw up a power play, but then again, I’m no NHL coach…
Which, I’m always loathe to see when you’re on the PP since no matter how great you are, you’re always leaving yourself vulnerable to get picked off.
I see you ditched those Senator Playoff Goggles in time for the ECF, Sherry.
Here’s hoping he’s planning to take a “Friend of Marty” discount!
Didn’t we already decide that Marty wouldn’t even acknowledge Souray if they saw one another on the street? At least, not unless he’s wearing a Devils jersey. Maybe Marty should give Souray an angry phone call about how atrocious his salary demands are.
Exactly! Especially when you’re Scott Gomez, you just realize you tanked your entire contract year, and you’re trying to squeeze an entire season’s worth of stats into one playoff series so you decide you can skate the puck all by your lonesome through all four penalty killers challenging on the blue line
Well, maybe Lou told him to do that so Gomez will look terrible in comparison from his incompetence to gain the zone on the PP so there’s hope he’d come back for cheaper.
Guess not.
I see you ditched those Senator Playoff Goggles in time for the ECF, Sherry.
Perhaps I should clarify, I hate it when my team does it :P
Yeah I used to spend the better half of last season complaining about how the grease in Souray’s hair had clogged up his brain.
And it was beautiful hair…
I’m getting sleepy, or high – whichever it is.
Didn’t we already decide that Marty wouldn’t even acknowledge Souray if they saw one another on the street? At least, not unless he’s wearing a Devils jersey. Maybe Marty should give Souray an angry phone call about how atrocious his salary demands are.
Since the Gomez defection, Marty’s probably decided he and Sheldon are BFFs, just so he can make sure Sheldon doesn’t join Gomer in NY. No one’s every accused Marty of being especially mature or rational!
And yeah, I’m thinking the Devils’ PP structure in the playoffs was definitely an attempt on Lou’s part to undermine Raffie’s and Gomer’s values on the free agent market. As the immortal line from “The Cutting Edge” goes, “I guess that move needs some work.”
Hm, it’s seems the NY Post is testing me today. Which rumor will I stress about more: Souray signing with the team, or Lou naming Larry Robinson assistant coach?
As the immortal line from “The Cutting Edge” goes, “I guess that move needs some work.”
I must have been too young when the movie came out because I haven’t even heard about it until last week. I read the synopsis for the movie and I’ve already decided that along with Youngblood it is a MUST WATCH movie.
I read the synopsis for the movie and I’ve already decided that along with Youngblood it is a MUST WATCH movie.
Katebits suggested we have required reading here at IPB. More importantly, we need required viewing.
He’s [Souray] got a bomb from the point but I actually don’t think the Devils have trouble scoring despite popular belief.
Schnookie answered this; but I’d like to respond too with two key numbers. Last season, the Devils scored an average of 2.51 goals scored per game; the 27th highest average in the league. They scored a total of 216 goals last season. You want to know why Martin Brodeur had to be so good? Because he clearly wasn’t getting any offensive support more often than not.
It’s facts like that which make me so confused why I keep seeing other fans on message boards and whatnot stating that the Devils need size, they need more grit, etc. I know Anaheim won the Stanley Cup and have a lot of big, gritty guys; but they scored a lot more goals (an average of 3.1 per game)! Offense is a definite need, so perhaps I shouldn’t be so harsh about the Souray signing – but then I already mentioned his not-impressive-at-all defending.
Hm, it’s seems the NY Post is testing me today. Which rumor will I stress about more: Souray signing with the team, or Lou naming Larry Robinson assistant coach?
You know, that comment had me momentarily freaking out until I picked up on the most important of the nouns in it. No, not “Souray”, not “Larry”, not “Robinson”… it was “NY Post”. Um, yeah. So, moving on…
it is a MUST WATCH movie.
I think in the case of The Cutting Edge, “MUST WATCH” is too mild a term. :-)
I suppose my assessment of the Devils’ offense comes from the fact that I don’t really follow them that closely. What I meant to say was they shouldn’t have trouble scoring? Or perhaps I’m just over-estimating Elias, Gionta, Parise, Zajac and Langer, haha. Then again, I never thought that outside of Spezza, Alfie and Heatley the Senators would have so much trouble sinking the puck in the net, but oh well.
I think in the case of The Cutting Edge, “MUST WATCH” is too mild a term.
I’m really honestly not that big into movies anymore, but I’ll add that to the homework list.
You want to know why Martin Brodeur had to be so good? Because he clearly wasn’t getting any offensive support more often than not.
I loved how this season they kept rolling out all of Marty’s really impressive career stats, including stuff about how many one-goal games he’s won over his career, and how he’s the goalie with the most all-time 1-0 or 2-0 shutouts (by a mile). And while I love that this adds to Marty’s resume’s lustre, I’d kind of like for him not to have to do this night in and night out for the Devils to make the playoffs…
It’s facts like that which make me so confused why I keep seeing other fans on message boards and whatnot stating that the Devils need size, they need more grit, etc.
I so don’t understand what these people are smoking. They just make me sad. :P
I’m really honestly not that big into movies anymore, but I’ll add that to the homework list.
I’m also finding that my interest in seeing movies is severly diminshed since this last season. The lock-out had me a little lukewarm on hockey, but now if it’s not hockey, I don’t care. I’d much rather write, talk and think about hockey than watch even the best movie, at this point. Usually the summertime is all about catching up on what we missed, but now I’m sort of like, “if I don’t see another new movie all summer, that’s cook”.
As for the “Cutting Edge”, it’s a thing of beauty. BEAUTY! Now, most people would call it a figure skating movie, not a hockey movie. Those people have no hearts! We reference the movie a lot here at IPB because we’ve seen it literally countless times. Maybe someday at our first annual IPB Convention we can do a damatic reading of it, line for line, without scripts.
Or perhaps I’m just over-estimating Elias, Gionta, Parise, Zajac and Langer, haha.
These guys are certainly all capable of scoring. It’s just that, well, last year Elias and Gionta didn’t. (I blame Gomez and his “No one can accuse me of cashing in on one good season” approach to contract years.) I think there’s something ingrained in the Devils that says, “Only one line may be considered a ’scoring line’ in any given season”. Two years ago we couldn’t get anything from a second line. This past year is was the second line that was consistent and the ostensible first line that sucked. Can’t wait to see who decides to show up next year! (I suppose it can also be pointed out that last year Langer had a career high 23 goals. I was shocked he’d never scored more than that, just because of the way people talk about how great he is, and, uh, how clutch he always seems to be in the playoffs…)
I’d much rather write, talk and think about hockey than watch even the best movie, at this point. Usually the summertime is all about catching up on what we missed, but now I’m sort of like, “if I don’t see another new movie all summer, that’s cook”.
Oh, I’m the same way but I think my interest in seeing movies is a direct inverse relationship with the price of movie tickets. And all of my friends seeing the movies I want to see without me. Jerks!
I can’t even really remember the last movie I saw in theatres…it might have been last October over Thanksgiving Weekend.
Maybe someday at our first annual IPB Convention we can do a damatic reading of it, line for line, without scripts.
From the synopsis I read, it’s a hockey AND figure skating movie. Best of both worlds! If we’re doing it without scripts, I’ll be sure to watch it multiple times so I can be ready for the line-reading for any character.
Oh, I’m the same way but I think my interest in seeing movies is a direct inverse relationship with the price of movie tickets.
At least you’re not a crotchety old person like me! I’ve realized I hate going to movies because people invariably talk during them. I can’t abide a single peep from my fellow movie-goers. And then there are the people who turn on their cell phones during movies so the little phone screens light up and are distracting. Or people get up to get food and mill about like a crowd at Joe Louis Arena. It just drives me up the wall, and I end up unable to enjoy the movie at all because I’m hating on everyone in the theater too much. I end up insisting on only going to movies late in their runs so the theater will be most likely to be empty, and at that point the film quality is getting shoddy from being overplayed, the movie’s been shunted to the smallest screen with the worst sound system, and there’s STILL someone in the theater with us talking, wandering and checking their messages. It’s just easier to watch at home, where my TV’s so nice it’s better than whatever screen I’d be watching on in the theater. (Plus the window between theatrical and DVD release is so small now you barely have to wait to see movies on DVD.) Yup. I’m 31-going-on-90.
Then again, I never thought that outside of Spezza, Alfie and Heatley the Senators would have so much trouble sinking the puck in the net, but oh well.
Oh Sherry, it was very tactful of you to insert the words “outside of” here. In other news, I’ll be off to the store soon for more Bailey’s.
I’ve realized I hate going to movies because people invariably talk during them. I can’t abide a single peep from my fellow movie-goers.
Schnookie, I hope you never have to suffer through sharing a movie theater with me, then, because talking during movies is one of my favorite pastimes. I blame it on too much MST3K. But if the movie is just too horrible (Spider-Man 2 comes to mind), the only way I can convince myself it was worth the nine dollars I spent is to tear it to shreds in whispers to my friend sitting next to me.
And then there have been times where I’ve talked during movies when I totally didn’t mean to. Like at one point during King Kong where I completely involuntarily screamed something along the lines of “Ew! That’s too gross! Ew, ew, EW!” I’m not a girly girl when it comes to gore and bugs, either, so that was a feat.
Oh Sherry, it was very tactful of you to insert the words “outside of” here.
Earl said it, not me! (I just laughed really, really hard at it…)
All MUST WATCH movie lists that include hockey must include Slap Shot. It is arguably the best sports comedy movie ever made, the best hockey movie ever made, and simply a true classic in every sense of the word.
Also, MST3K isn’t the cause of people talking during movies; it’s the cause of giving people reason to rip incredibly bad movies.
Gambler, I’m narrowing my eyes in disgust at you right now. And shaking my head while giving a disappointed “tsk, tsk”. :P
(I guess you should be glad that you’re not stuck at a movie with me, because I kid you not — I’d have management throw you out! I’ve done it before! I didn’t pay my $9 to listen to someone else talking during my movie!)
I did mention I’m a crotchety old person, right? Because I really, really am. And every time I walk out of a movie (on the rare occasions I actually go to the theater) I declare, “I’m never going to the movies again”. Pookie can back me up on this.
Awww, the Motzko Love is off the charts. Some highlights:
Figuring his hockey season was over, Joe was prepared to pack his skates and head home when he got a call to report to Detroit, as the Ducks may be in need of his talents. Joe made his Duck debut on May 20 in a 2-1 overtime win over the Red Wings, and even got himself on the scoresheet, drawing a holding minor in the third period.
Yes, we were all proud of that last-five-minutes, down-by-a-goal, offensive-zone holding call, Motzko! Way to earn it!
Joe took the Stanley Cup out on a pontoon boat where friends and neighbours enjoyed drinks from the bowl of the Cup. Hoover, one of Joe’s buddies, pulled out his guitar and composed hilarious songs about Joe and the Cup.
I have been desperately hunting for some hilarious songs about Joe Motzko and the Cup for weeks now! Damn you Hoover, would you make a CD already?!
Oh my God, Earl! MotzkoNation rejoices!!! And we wait on tenterhooks for those hilarious “Joe + The Cup” songs, because life really can be all about driving around listening to those.
I spend so much time on the internet reading about stuff that I am always stacked full for trivia about the making of something. So I never ever go to movies in the theatre with someone else because I.Do.Not.Shut.Up. I go alone, or I wait the DVD to come out.
At least you’re not a crotchety old person like me! I’ve realized I hate going to movies because people invariably talk during them. I can’t abide a single peep from my fellow movie-goers. And then there are the people who turn on their cell phones during movies so the little phone screens light up and are distracting
I’m okay with the people talking, that doesn’t what detracts me from watching movies but the people leaving their cell phones on I’ll never understand. You’re there to watch a movie! If it’s an emergency you shouldn’t even be at the movie.
The thing is I don’t even particularly like watching movies from the comfort of my own home. I just don’t have the patience to be sitting there for 2 hours +
Oh Sherry, it was very tactful of you to insert the words “outside of” here. In other news, I’ll be off to the store soon for more Bailey’s.
Good. My bounty better be ready by Christmas time. We all know I’m the only one allowed to cut down my team.
In other news I’m once again live-blogging until 2 p.m. Good thing i planned on going on lunch break anyways.
The thing is I don’t even particularly like watching movies from the comfort of my own home. I just don’t have the patience to be sitting there for 2 hours +
See, this is what I sometimes prefer to pay my $10.75 and see a movie in the theater. If I really want to watch something, it’s easier for me to do so there than at home where I get distracted by the things I need to do, or try to multi-task and read a magazine at the same time, or get up and pace around because I’m feeling antsy.
I’ve never seen Youngblood. What’s it about?
I have seen Slap Shot, Miracle and Cutting Edge.
Amy, for a truly amazing and tantilizing synopsis of the movie, I direct you to its wiki page:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Youngblood_%281986_film%29
I’m holding off on watching SlapShot until the middle of exam time, heh.
I’ve never seen Youngblood. What’s it about?
I have no idea. All I know Keanu Reeves and a rather younger incarnation of Patrick Swayze are in it. And that’s good enough for me. I’m reading the Wiki now.
All I know about Youngblood is what I read about it in SportGuy’s series of the 70-something greatest sports movies of all time. I’m not sure if the archives are free to read on ESPN, though, so I’m not going to try to find it and link to it. Wasn’t that a great story? I’m ever so helpful.
Oooh, Rob Lowe’s in Youngblood. I heart Rob Lowe. I’m adding this movie to my “must-rent” list.
Oh man, it looks like I got here just in time. Youngblood is the worst movie! If you’re looking for unintentional humor and you love 80’s flicks then by all means, check it out.
If you’re looking for a good hockey movie, avoid it like the plague!
I’ve never seen Youngblood, but do remember enjoying “Slap Shot”, although I think there were definitely elements that made me go, “If I were guy, I think I’d find this a lot funnier.”
although I think there were definitely elements that made me go, “If I were guy, I think I’d find this a lot funnier.”
I remember a scene or 10 like that. :)
Although I too enjoyed it.
although I think there were definitely elements that made me go, “If I were guy, I think I’d find this a lot funnier.”
Yeah, Slap Shot was really kind of lost on me. I’m much more a Cutting Edge type of hockey fan. (Namely: a girl.)
Slap Shot is one of those movies that gets funnier every time you see it. When you can quote the lines with friends during a hockey game, it’s then you realize how awesome of a movie it is.
But, yeah, being a guy probably helps too.
Although, if I’m not mistaken, it was written by a woman. That is one vulgar, awesome woman.
I didn’t care for Slapshot. I didn’t even watch the whole thing. I haven’t seen Cutting Edge.
Namely: a girl.
Never would’ve guessed. How did you hide that from us so long?
Never would’ve guessed. How did you hide that from us so long?
I know, shocking isn’t it? :P
So what’s up with things being so quiet on the hockey front today? Doesn’t the NHL realize I’m tired, cranky, and not really interested in being at work? What are they going to do to entertain me today? Bastards.
Dunlop: You cheap sonofabitch. Those guys are retards.
McGrath: I got a good deal on those boys. Scout said they showed a lot of promise.
Dunlop: They brought their fuckin’ TOYS with ‘em!
McGrath: I’d rather have em playin’ with their toys than playin’ with themselves.
Dunlop: They’re too dumb to play with themselves. Boy, every piece of garbage that comes into the league you gotta buy it.
McGrath: Reg, Reg, that reminds me. I was coachin’ in Omaha in 1948 and Eddie Shore sends me this guy who was a terrible masturbator. He would get deliberate penalties so he could get over in the penalty box all by himself and damned if he wouldn’t…
Rangers re-sign Prucha!
http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/news_story/?ID=212828&hubname=nhl
And Detroit re-signed Jiri Hudler. Steph’ll like that
The discussion of penalties at the beginning of Slap Shot kills me. “You go to the box by yourself and you feel shame.”
The NY Post has caught onto the fact that the Rangers could be in a cap mess. Hockey fans figured that out 1/2 an hour after the Sunday’s signings, and it takes the media 3 days?
Hockey fans figured that out 1/2 an hour after the Sunday’s signings, and it takes the media 3 days?
Are we in any way surprised by this though?
The NY Post has caught onto the fact that the Rangers could be in a cap mess. Hockey fans figured that out 1/2 an hour after the Sunday’s signings, and it takes the media 3 days?
This is the NY Post we’re talking about though. They had to get through the requisite “coronation” phase of the signings, and then the masturbatory “Of course these guys came to New York, because New York is the greatest” phase. Now the “reality” phase is setting in, soon to be followed by the “railing against the idiocy of the sports’ teams management” phase. I say by the end of this week they’ll be howling for Drury and Gomez to be traded, because they’ve contributed nothing to the team yet other than being a drain on the salary cap. (That said, was it Larry Brooks complaining? If so, I have to go read it — I love when he rips into the Rangers…)
The NY Post has caught onto the fact that the Rangers could be in a cap mess.
Look at cutie pants Hank, just dangling in the breeze there, all handsomely snuffing shots. Gosh, I’m sure there are a few teams who could use a goalie like that!
pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease
Look at cutie pants Hank, just dangling in the breeze there, all handsomely snuffing shots. Gosh, I’m sure there are a few teams who could use a goalie like that!
I keep saying that! No one seems to think the whole situation is as funny as I do though.
I keep saying that! No one seems to think the whole situation is as funny as I do though.
I think it’s outrageously funny. I want the Devils to sign him and Souray and trade them both for one ten pound catfish. Just because they could.
If Lundqvist files for arbitration, could that be enough to mess them up? Because I’m thinking those two Vezina noms could win him some extra money in the arbitration process.
Mags, he’s just sitting there batting his thick eyelashes at us! He is such attractive prey! Someone. Go. For. It.
Pookie, I would pledge my undying love to Lou if he pulled that off.
I want the Devils to sign him and Souray and trade them both for one ten pound catfish. Just because they could.
Such an act will place Lou in my “Can Do No Wrong. Ever. Even If He Does” category of sentient beings.
If Lundqvist files for arbitration, could that be enough to mess them up
Yes. I’m pretty sure it could.
The latest on Souray from the Fourth Period although nothing we haven’t heard already:
http://www.thefourthperiod.com/news/njd070705.html
I’m sorry, I was distracted by those thick eyelashes batting at me. Did someone say something?
(Maybe that’s the problem? Maybe all the GMs are trying to give Hank an offer sheet, but they get close to him and get all flustered by how pretty he is. So they forget about the offer sheets, start blushing and stammering at their feet, then wander off thinking, “He’s just so pretty. He’d never go for a guy like me…”)
I think it’s outrageously funny. I want the Devils to sign him and Souray and trade them both for one ten pound catfish. Just because they could.
:^:::::::::::
Or maybe they could trade him for a new gopher taser for Paulie.
Meg, if Lundqvist goes to arbitration his award is going to be crazy. Far more than what he and the Rangers were allegedly disccussing (4-4.5 million). I hate arbitration, but he’s one of the best young goalies in the league and as you said, a two-time Vezina nominee. I don’t know what the highest goalie salary out there right now is, but I bet he’d break it wide open.
If Lundqvist files for arbitration, could that be enough to mess them up
Yes. I’m pretty sure it could.
Just looked into it and it looks like Meehan says they won’t be doing it. Too bad.
In excess of 6 million for FIVE years of Souray? Eek. Please, Buffalo fans, back away from the “WE NEED TO SIGN SOURAY RIGHT NOW!” craze, because that strikes me as sort of nuts.
Wow, it took me awhile to catch up. Of course I am moving quite slowly today (please don’t type too loud).
“He’s just so pretty. He’d never go for a guy like me…”
You could be on to something here Schnookie, although I would imagine Lou has the moxie to make a move on Lundqvist. Wouldn’t they make quite a couple?!
Such an act will place Lou in my “Can Do No Wrong. Ever. Even If He Does” category of sentient beings.
Oh my god, would it ever! Lou, I know it would be reckless and crazy, and you’re anything but reckless and crazy, but just think about how furious the Rangers would be!!!
Just looked into it and it looks like Meehan says they won’t be doing it. Too bad.
Shit.
Lundy should go for AT LEAST 4.5. I discussed this with Jordi and that’s what we came up with for the minimum. Honestly. Lundy! The Rangers are not worth taking a paycut for!
Schnookie, it is Larry Brooks discussing the Rangers mess.
Pookie, your plan would work as long as the 10 pound catfish could be assimilated into the little orchestra Lou’s created.
just think about how furious the Rangers would be!!!
And as we all know that is one of the the only things that matter in life.
Please, Buffalo fans, back away from the “WE NEED TO SIGN SOURAY RIGHT NOW!” craze, because that strikes me as sort of nuts.
Sort of nuts? Buffalo fans at present? I simply won’t believe it!
just think about how furious the Rangers would be!!!
And as we all know that is one of the the only things that matter in life.
Pretty much.
Meg, I’m going to remain hopeful. Every time I hear Meehan, he’s back away a little further. Henrik will do anything to remain a Ranger! He will not file for player-elected arbitration! Well, he really wants a long-term deal and the Rangers are only offering a couple so that’s the hold up! We’re not filing for arbitration but if the Rangers want Henrik in camp, they might want to do so! I get the feeling that Lundy’s camp has realized, wait a second… we’re worth a LOT OF MONEY!
So we’ll see! Never give up!
Just looked into it and it looks like Meehan says they won’t be doing it. Too bad.
Yeah, but after being all sunshine and lollypops the day after the Gomez/Drury signings (when Hank was like, “Oh of course I’ll do anything in my power to stay with this team! I’ll play for pennies on the dollar!”), Team Lundqvist seems to have backed off a bit. Sounds like they don’t want to go to arbitration because Hank wants a long-term deal, which, of course, Slats isn’t ready to be dealing with (because Slats is a dunderhead). Pookie read something yesterday that suggested the Rangers might decide to take Hank to arbitration rather than the other way around. Which is HILARIOUS.
Sort of nuts? Buffalo fans at present? I simply won’t believe it!
Surely you jest. We’re the calmest, most rational fans out there right now. ;o)
Exhibit A: a radio station was claiming Teppo should be captain because he has the best hair on the team. That sounds like something coming from calm rational fans, right?
Heather, since it’s Meehan, I think are best hope might be a hold out. Isn’t Meehan the king of those? That too would be delicious, so fingers crossed.
I get the feeling that Lundy’s camp has realized, wait a second… we’re worth a LOT OF MONEY!
That’s exactly it, Heather! It smacks of them being like, “Yay! Look at these great new players coming in! This team is going to be AWESOME and — heeeey. Wait a minute. HOW MUCH money are they getting?”
“a radio station was claiming Teppo should be captain because he has the best hair on the team. That sounds like something coming from calm rational fans, right?”
That actually sounds like it’s coming from sheer genius. Teppo for president!
Sort of nuts? Buffalo fans at present? I simply won’t believe it!
Meg, point taken.
We’ve moved past “DANNY AND CHRIS ARE GONE!??!?!?!” and into “WE MUST SIGN SOMEONE – ANYONE – RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND, THE BIGGER THE NAME AND THE MORE EXPENSIVE THE CONTRACT THE BETTER BECAUSE THAT MEANS WE’RE SERIOUS ABOUT WINNING!!!”
Pookie, your plan would work as long as the 10 pound catfish could be assimilated into the little orchestra Lou’s created.
If the Devils can turn Scott Gomez into a disciplined player, Krystof Oliwa into a skater and and Jason Arnott into a (relatively) committed teammate, they can make a catfish do whatever Lou needs it to. Heck, it would probably make a great coach!
Exhibit A: a radio station was claiming Teppo should be captain because he has the best hair on the team.
Dude. Are we trying to piss Crunchy off now?! It’s one thing to give Teppo the C because he likes Justin Timberlake (that I can completely understand), but CRUNCHY has the best hair!
a radio station was claiming Teppo should be captain because he has the best hair on the team. That sounds like something coming from calm rational fans, right?
Jezus. I nearly choked on my salad laughing over that.
they can make a catfish do whatever Lou needs it to. Heck, it would probably make a great coach!
Hey, never underestimate the usefulness of a good fish, right?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZMKCLyhBBwI
Kate, I just read an article in which that slag faced whore Drury says one of the best parts of the Rangers was Henrik Lundqvist and how exciting it’s been to see him grow into one of the better goalies in the league and looking forward to where he’s going to go. ?!?!??!?!? I was cranky on Crunchy’s behalf after reading that one.
And I have to agree with the radio guy. Teppo’s hair is a thing of beauty. When it’s not slicked back it’s something like 8 feet long!
Hey, never underestimate the usefulness of a good fish, right?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZMKCLyhBBwI
I cannot wait to see the fish slapping dances going on behind the bench this season!
I can’t wait to see the fish standing behind the players in a suit, yelling at the officials.
If the Devils can turn Scott Gomez into a disciplined player, Krystof Oliwa into a skater and and Jason Arnott into a (relatively) committed teammate, they can make a catfish do whatever Lou needs it to. Heck, it would probably make a great coach!
Pookie: No. No one has ever made Kryzystof Oliwa do anything right at the NHL-level outside of fighting. Not even NJ. I’d argue he’s the worst player ever to put on the uniform, but then I remember Sasha Lakovic and realize Oliwa’s not even the bottom of the barrel.
I was cranky on Crunchy’s behalf after reading that one.
Ooooohhhh… me too. Crunchy’s going to go into Rangers games next year being all, “I don’t give a fuck if the rest of that team scores 7,000 times. But I. Will. Not. Give. Drury. ANYTHING.”
Teppo’s hair is a thing of beauty.
I’ve grocery shopped with that hair. It is truly resplendent.
I’ve grocery shopped with that hair. It is truly resplendent.
Schnookie…how dare you….what will your husband Crunchy think? You slander him on the day that his brother has the cup! I am aghast. Simply aghast.
Danny, on the other hand, says the Sabres had an excess of talent at forward last season, a couple of guys who could’ve been playing and weren’t, and will be just fine. Thanks, Danny! For that, maybe I’ll go easy with the hobbit signage.
Schnookie…how dare you….what will your husband Crunchy think?
Crunchy would agree! And it’s not like I said I’m in love with Teppo or his hair. I just mentioned that I’ve seen it in its natural habitat, browsing the wine section of the 90th and Via Linda AJ’s Fine Foods in Scottsdale, and it was a glorious sight to behold. I’m sure, though, that Crunchy’s is even MORE glorious.
Poor Danny. He actually is a pretty nice guy.
Huh…well according to Kuklas, the Devils landed the other Rangers goalie.
Sorry, linkage here:
http://www.kuklaskorner.com/index.php/hockey/comments/report_kevin_weekes_to_devils/
Weeke Sauce!
Schnookie…how dare you….what will your husband Crunchy think? You slander him on the day that his brother has the cup!
I think that next season we are going to see Cranky Crunchy in full effect, both goalie-wish, and hair-wise. Now he’s got something to PROVE. I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up to training camp with a perm or exstensions or something.
Do the Devils need another back-up goalie? Or a back-up goalie period?
I know! Whatever will happen to Clemmer?
Yes, the Devils needed a back up. Clemmenson is UFA.
OMG! Clemmer! He still hasn’t paid off his teeth! He can’t be out of a job!
perm or exstensions or something
I am a bit afraid with all this hair talk that it may spurn Brian Engblom on to doing something drastic with his hair……he will feel he can’t possibly be beaten out by anyone.
Kevin Weekes? Really? I wonder what will happen to his nickname, since surely the Devils won’t let him wear 80.
John, you’ve got me on the Lakovic front. I can’t top that. Although I’m trying to remember who the d-man was who our friends use to joke couldn’t make turns on his own, that he needed another guy to come over and turn him around. He might have been worse. But you have to admit, for a few short weeks there, Oliwa was a far better player than you expected. He was still awful, but he wasn’t as awful as we all thought. Because our expectations were just that low.
I am not entirely sure how I feel about this Weekes thing. I mean, we all knew Clemmer wasn’t coming back, not after the way he was all pissy in The Hockey News about how little he gets to play. Lou frowns on shit like that. (Clemmer’s probably sitting at home right now going, “Oh crap! I certainly shouldn’t have said I disliked getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to sit on the bench…”) But I don’t trust Weekes enough to feel comfortable with the thought of Marty starting fewer games this year… Oh well. I guess if Lou wants to prove a point to the Rangers by chipping away at their little-ticket free agents, then turning around and beating them in the standings next year (touch wood), then I’m all for it.
So as of right now, the Rangers have no goalies under contract? Isn’t that a dilly of a pickle to be in.
Phhhhsssshhhh……
They have Drury….he can stand in. Who the hell needs a goalie when you have all the big names……
What fucktards…..
So as of right now, the Rangers have no goalies under contract? Isn’t that a dilly of a pickle to be in.
Slats has read SPECTRE. He’s decided to go with a soft-serve ice cream machine in net this year.
(And yeah, that’s why Lou signed Weekes. To give Hank that much MORE leverage.)
They have Drury….he can stand in.
Drury can deflect shots with bland steely glare. He’s a leader Oil! He’ll give the puck a stern lecture.
According to TSN, the Weekes contract is a $1.375-million, two-year contract.
Oh, Hank! You are worth so much! Don’t let them devalue you. Honestly, if they can’t see how much you mean to them, you shouldn’t give them the best years of your career.
According to TSN, the Weekes contract is a $1.375-million, two-year contract.
I can live with that. And really, he can’t be any worse than Clemmer…
Oh, Hank! You are worth so much! Don’t let them devalue you.
I’m starting to get the feeling that Hank isn’t listening to us.
The best thing about Kevin Weekes is the hilarious 70s porn music on his website.
I’m starting to get the feeling that Hank isn’t listening to us.
What? Hockey players don’t read IPB?
He’ll give the puck a stern lecture.
If he can give me a strong lecture and make it work I will bow before him. I doubt he could do it though.
I’m starting to get the feeling that Hank isn’t listening to us.
Come on Hank. You’ll make my list if you just stand up for yourself.
The best thing about Kevin Weekes is the hilarious 70s porn music on his website.
Wow! You aren’t kidding Steph! I LOVE Kevin Weekes now! He is worth any amount of money the Devils are paying him!
What? Hockey players don’t read IPB?
They should. They have no idea the kinds of stuff they’d learn about themselves. Like Drury might learn that he should have that herpes checked out. And Staffy might learn that setting fire to cows is bad. And Crunchy might learn that there are lots of people out there that love him so he might tone down the crank a big.
He’ll give the puck a stern lecture.
I wonder how long it will take Gomez to learn that Drury has control over the pucks they use for their #23 golden puck flips? Or does the gold plating keep Drury from being able to control the puck’s mind?
Hank, you’ve gotten a Vezina nomination every year of your career so far! You almost won the Buffalo series by yourself! They’re paying Gomez and Drury (a second line checking center for crying out loud) 7 million dollars! You’re worth that atleast! AT LEAST!
What? Hockey players don’t read IPB?
You’d think we’d be required reading. It really makes no sense to me at all.
Come on Hank. You’ll make my list if you just stand up for yourself.
Hank has no idea how much I would love him if he’d screw the Rangers over right now. NO IDEA. I mean, I already love him a lot, as evidenced by the fact that I don’t hate him despite the sweater he wears (uh, that makes no sense…), but holy moley would my HankLove skyrocket. And again, I’m not even going to be picky about the team he ends up with. Doesn’t Meehan realize Hank will become the single most popular player in the league if he does this now? Every fan of every team would ADORE him. He would be greeted in every arena as a conquering hero. Hank, you have to do this!!!
You’ll make my list if you just stand up for yourself.
I love Hank just as much as the next person, in all of his “People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful” glory, but nothing against the guy he doesn’t strike me as a ‘thinker’.
Wow! You aren’t kidding Steph! I LOVE Kevin Weekes now! He is worth any amount of money the Devils are paying him!
The Hot-Oil girls pointed this out to me a couple weeks ago and I have been waiting for him to sign somewhere just so I could point this out to the rest of the world. Seriously. It’s brilliant.
And Crunchy might learn that there are lots of people out there that love him so he might tone down the crank a big.
But if he turns down the crank, do we still love him so much? I don’t know, we might want to re-think this one.
The best thing about Kevin Weekes is the hilarious 70s porn music on his website.
Holy flirking schnitt! Weekes might be my new favorite Devil.
Seriously guys. You are so lucky. You have Weekes.
I love Hank just as much as the next person, in all of his “People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful” glory, but nothing against the guy he doesn’t strike me as a ‘thinker’.
Yeah, it might be a good thing that we don’t love him for his brain.
Yeah, it might be a good thing that we don’t love him for his brain.
I have to say, I’d never really considered his intelligence or lack thereof. I’m like the GMs around the league — I can’t get past the batting eyelashes.
Yeah, it might be a good thing that we don’t love him for his brain.
I’m sure Hank has a lovely, goalie-skilled brain. I should have been more specific–none of Don Meehan’s clients strike me as ‘thinkers’ save for maybe Bryz, and we all know what HE thinks about.
Yeah, it might be a good thing that we don’t love him for his brain.
I love him for the fact that his appearance at the NHL Awards brightened my night. His tux looked painted on. Loved it.
Or does the gold plating keep Drury from being able to control the puck’s mind?
I doubt that gold plating would interfere with Drury’s abilities. I’m pretty sure he is having everything in his life gold plated. That’s why he joined the Rangers, so he could afford to provide his family with the gold plating they deserve. All the little Drury robot children are in the shop getting plated this week.
Neither had I until Sherry brought it up. I kind of assume he is of average professional athlete intelligence. By which I mean, not dumb but not accustomed to excercising the brain.
Seriously guys. You are so lucky. You have Weekes.
Here’s what I love about that music — since he first arrived on the scene in Jersey, Scott Gomez has fancied himself quite the wit. And like how we were complaining about Roenick yesterday evening, he got fawned over for what was, in my opinion, a really underwhelming sense of humor. And as the years wore on, his funny really got threadbare. By the end of last season he’d stand there during interviews insulting Stan Fischler and his teammates, then giving this assy grin as if to say, “Aren’t I so funny?” But he didn’t even do it in an abrasive way like JR did. He was just lame. And boring. And self-absorbed. And Stan would just go ga-ga over it, as if Gomer was the second coming of Oscar Wilde every time he told the same tired joke about beating Marty in practice all the time. And now along comes Kevin Weekes’s website music, and, deliberate or not, that music is funnier than every single “funny” thing Gomer has ever said. Combined.
(Huh. Think Gomer’s dead to me? Mee-ow!)
none of Don Meehan’s clients strike me as ‘thinkers’ save for maybe Bryz, and we all know what HE thinks about.
Where he can acquire Darkwing Duck in Russian, because his toasters are getting the tired of the same episodes of Donald every night?
Where he can acquire Darkwing Duck in Russian, because his toasters are getting the tired of the same episodes of Donald every night?
Exactly.
Actually, I never really ‘thinker’ as in intelligence wise but rather ‘will make my own decisions’ wise.
Or maybe I did. Maybe I’m inherently convinced you can’t be both pretty and intelligent :P
I love him for the fact that his appearance at the NHL Awards brightened my night. His tux looked painted on. Loved it.
It looked like a skin-tight tuxedo-printed novelty t-shirt! I loved it too! So pretty, that Hank…
Katebits, that stuff about Drury gold-plating his entire life just cracked my shit up!
Sherry, I think judging a guy’s intelligence on whether or not he’s a client of Don Meehan’s is actually a really good plan. So yeah, I’ll go with the “airhead” verdict on Hank.
never really ^meant….this is why I shouldn’t multi-task.
Maybe I’m inherently convinced you can’t be both pretty and intelligent :P
My sister’s 4.00 GAA and modeling career would like to prove you wrong.
Where he can acquire Darkwing Duck in Russian, because his toasters are getting the tired of the same episodes of Donald every night?
Someone help him out. Really, that’s just torture.
Oh, I am squirming like a happy Pommerdoodle imagining the Rangers next year! Drury will be all pissed because they are not falling into step behind him and because Jagr won’t stop grinning shrugging his shoulders. Gomez is going to buckle and then try to charm his way out of it with the press and they will slaughter him. And HANK will be sitting on a pile of cash and bikini clad co-eds down in Florida after someone offers him the offer sheet to end all offer sheets!
Someone help him out. Really, that’s just torture.
Not only because he can’t find them, but because he feels like he’s letting the toasters down. And he’s sensitive about things like that.
Erik Christensen is re-signed with the Pens!
Not only because he can’t find them, but because he feels like he’s letting the toasters down. And he’s sensitive about things like that.
Exactly! I can just hear them, sniffing (sparking? what do toasters do when they’re sad?) and Breezy trying to comfort them. And it’s not working and he’s hopeless. Poor Breezy.
Lured by the promise of hilarious music (check!) I went to Weeke’s site and found this in the Q&A section:
Q: What is your slogan in life?
A: “What goes around comes around.”
Ah-ha! No wonder Lou thought he would be an approprite signee right now!
4.00 GAA
….GPA, Mags? :P (Or am I lame, and does the other side of the world calculate grades in terms of goals scored, or at least with the same abbreviation?)
Maybe I’m inherently convinced you can’t be both pretty and intelligent :P
My sister’s 4.00 GAA and modeling career would like to prove you wrong.
Goodness, is she one of those people who’s so nice you can’t hate them too?
Weekes! Weekes! Weekes!
(Or am I lame, and does the other side of the world calculate grades in terms of goals scored, or at least with the same abbreviation?)
That’d be awesome, although I’d hate to think what becomes of the non-hockey players.
And I never said I believed that! Only my subconscious does.
Maybe I’m inherently convinced you can’t be both pretty and intelligent :P
Sherry, I often agree with you on that… until I look in the mirror! (Oh, just kidding. I have no mirrors. I get so tired of cleaning up the mess after they break when I look in them. I’m a lot like Crunchy that way. :P)
I had no idea what a tortured soul Bryz is, by the way. One day he’s going to break under this pressure of trying to provide the impossible to his toaster family, and he’ll end up curled in a fetal position in the bowels of an arena somewhere crying softly, “Ootka… ooh ooh ooh.”
Yes, GPA. Hockey killed my brain.
Goodness, is she one of those people who’s so nice you can’t hate them too?
No. This is where I am saved, because she is a BITCH of the first order.
No. This is where I am saved, because she is a BITCH of the first order.
Well, that’s a relief anyway.
Actually, I never really ‘thinker’ as in intelligence wise but rather ‘will make my own decisions’ wise.
Well, that works out well for all of us because you know Meehan will have Lundy holding out for the contract to end all contracts. So don’t worry your prety little head, Hank. Let your agent do allll the work.
Exactly! I can just hear them, sniffing (sparking? what do toasters do when they’re sad?) and Breezy trying to comfort them. And it’s not working and he’s hopeless. Poor Breezy.
Even the Darkwing Duck cape isn’t helping. So now he has the double guilt of not only having a child with a deformed breadhole, but not being able to make it happy and ease it’s constant suffering either. The life of a toaster parent is so challenging.
No. This is where I am saved, because she is a BITCH of the first order.
Yeah, no one gets all three. Which is why we should all hope Hank is an airhead, so it doesn’t turn out that he’s a bitch.
Hank is a beautiful dummy, but his agent is a hideous genius. Everything is going according to plan….
I had no idea what a tortured soul Bryz is, by the way. One day he’s going to break under this pressure of trying to provide the impossible to his toaster family, and he’ll end up curled in a fetal position in the bowels of an arena somewhere crying softly, “Ootka… ooh ooh ooh.
He covers it up well with his cheerful demeanor and gets through the pain by watching lots of cartoon ducks. But it’s not all so easy. (That image just killed me, by the way.)
One day he’s going to break under this pressure of trying to provide the impossible to his toaster family, and he’ll end up curled in a fetal position in the bowels of an arena somewhere crying softly, “Ootka… ooh ooh ooh.
*sniff* *sniff* Damn you Schnookie. That’s just too sad.
Crunchy gets really angry whenever he hears about Bryz and the choices he’s made in life. “It can’t be all about driving around and watching cartoon ducks!” he snarls. Crunchy’s not very good at worrying about Crunchy and letting other people worry about themselves.
Crunchy’s not very good at worrying about Crunchy and letting other people worry about themselves.
That’s why he’s perfect for Buffalo!
Hank is a beautiful dummy, but his agent is a hideous genius. Everything is going according to plan….
You know, this is starting to smack of a grandiose, Parise-esque vengeance scheme. I wonder on whom the revenge is being wrought? I mean, when it all plays out, which one of Zach’s enemies is going to be paying the ultimate price on this one?
I mean, when it all plays out, which one of Zach’s enemies is going to be paying the ultimate price on this one?
Drury! Who knew Zach had it out for him?!
You know, this is starting to smack of a grandiose, Parise-esque vengeance scheme. I wonder on whom the revenge is being wrought? I mean, when it all plays out, which one of Zach’s enemies is going to be paying the ultimate price on this one?
I suspect Boxworthy orchestrated this so that many many many of Zach’s enemies will be paying very dearly.
Drury! Who knew Zach had it out for him?!
Nah, Drury’s just collateral damage. I bet this is for the Rangers picking Hugh Jessiman instead of Zach in the draft…
Nah, Drury’s just collateral damage. I
yeah, you’re right, Schnookie. I just got excited because Boxworthy sent me an email this morning asking me if I know all of S,PW’s allergies. I figured they were up to something with him.
Nah, Drury’s just collateral damage. I bet this is for the Rangers picking Hugh Jessiman instead of Zach in the draft…
Nah, Zach knows the Rangers picking Hugh Jessiman is the perfect revenge for the Rangers picking Hugh Jessiman in the draft. No, I think this is about MSG and Zach’s inability to play well there. It all goes back to JP telling him “Mon petit garcon, you are a loser and always will be if you can’t score big goals in the playoffs at MSG. Now go to the rink and give me 250,000 shots on goal!”
I just got excited because Boxworthy sent me an email this morning asking me if I know all of S,PW’s allergies.
Just for pure amusement purposes, I really hope you replied “turtle sweat”.
I just got excited because Boxworthy sent me an email this morning asking me if I know all of S,PW’s allergies.
Ah yes, Zach’s Allergy Ledger. It’s come in handy on more than one occasion. Most notably when he discovered Patty Elias is allergic to foecal oysters. Boxworthy didn’t count on Larry Robinson being just nutters enough to not play Zach much even when the Devils best forward was out of commission.
I just got excited because Boxworthy sent me an email this morning asking me if I know all of S,PW’s allergies.
Oh, well, that’s for the new entry in the vengeance ledger for Drury. He wasn’t on the list before all this started (which is why he’s just collateral in the Lundqvist Affair), but since Gomer chose Drury as his boon companion in Free Agency over Zach… well, that’s an unforgiveable offense.
No, I think this is about MSG and Zach’s inability to play well there.
Pookie, I think you’re onto something there. (And now I’m sad about poor Zach trying to live up to JP’s expectations for scoring bit OT goals at MSG…)
Just for pure amusement purposes, I really hope you replied “turtle sweat”.
I forgot about turtle sweat! I just told him salt, bright colors, and most music.
Just for pure amusement purposes, I really hope you replied “turtle sweat”.
Didn’t you know, Earl — Drury actually is deathly allergic to turtle sweat. Whenever he sees a turtle he shrieks in terror, leaps onto the nearest chair and clutches his petticoats for fear that a stray drop of perspiration will hit him. It causes him to break out in cold sores.
I forgot about turtle sweat! I just told him salt, bright colors, and most music.
This just never stops being funny. So bland!
I just told him salt, bright colors, and most music.
He also apparently has an allergic reaction if too much time elapses between little league world series stories.
I just told him salt, bright colors, and most music.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Our grandmother, who is an old-school midwesterner who has been relocated to New Orleans, recently complained to us that she doesn’t like eating out in New Orleans “because they put coating on all the food.” That’s how Drury is. He just hates coating.
He also apparently has an allergic reaction if too much time elapses between little league world series stories.
And he gets all red and puffy if not enough people bow before him and kiss his LLWS Championship ring every day.
Drury actually is deathly allergic to turtle sweat.
Schnookie is totally right on this one. I’m not sure everyone would still call him “Captain Clutch” if they saw his reaction to turtles. I would say turtle sweat is Drury’s single weakness. Crunchy has a greenhouse full of turtles which he is raising for their sweat. Next year the Sabres are going to COAT themselves in turtle sweat before every game. It’s a double whammy. A coating of turtle sweat will stop S,PW dead in his tracks.
I want it stated for the record that Pookie just looked at Paulie Martin’s favorite book (that Neil Young biography) and it’s 738 pages long! So he wears glasses and his favorite book is a long one — he MUST be a supergenius!
Paulie Martin is SO smart!
Crunchy and Pommerdoodle are working in their secret basement laboratory right now on a way to weaponize turtle sweat. Drury is going to be so sorry…
I’m rather impressed actually.
Well, this is the report from Pookie as she looks over the book at her library:
“I don’t think this is interesting enough to bring home, but I give Paulie credit for listing it as his favorite book.
It seems like a pretty dry serious biography.”
I’m also really impressed. Considering Paulie lists Phish as his favorite band, I figured he didn’t have the attention span to read a book that long. (Although I guess him citing it as his favorite really doesn’t mean he’s read it. He might just like the cover.)
Pommers keeps licking the turtles though. He thinks he’ll get high if he licks them. It’s really starting to irritate Crunchy.
Crunchy and Pommerdoodle are working in their secret basement laboratory right now on a way to weaponize turtle sweat.
Crunchy: We’ll give him a concentrated dose.
Pommerdoodle: Yes, master!
(Although I guess him citing it as his favorite really doesn’t mean he’s read it. He might just like the cover.)
“Wait, Neil Young’s a musician?”
“Wait, Neil Young’s a musician?”
“When does he go to the moon?”
Crunchy and Pommerdoodle are working in their secret basement laboratory right now on a way to weaponize turtle sweat.
The also have to encapsulate the turtle sweat into some sort of a balm so that it can be evenly applied…..
Crunchy just wants to be the best distributor of deadly poison that he can be.
The also have to encapsulate the turtle sweat into some sort of a balm so that it can be evenly applied…..
I hope they don’t disguise it as cold sore medication, because we all know Drury doesn’t care much for taking care of those.
Heh. It’s true. If there is one think S,PW hates more than turtles, it’s cold sore remedies.
If there is one think S,PW hates more than turtles, it’s cold sore remedies.
I think I know why Marty quit the Competition Committee. He found out that Zach was going to be demanding that Marty try to get the rules changed so that the Devils could legally unleash a phalanx of turtles bearing tubs of cold sore remedies on their shells to ward off whatever team Drury’s playing on. Marty just didn’t really want to get invovled in that scene.
If there is one think S,PW hates more than turtles, it’s cold sore remedies.
Because a main element of blandness is being unattractive. Someone cold sores definitely help to promote.
I’m so getting my somethings and someones messed up today. Urgh. I need caffeine.
Mags, we all knew what you meant!
…..Zach was going to be demanding that Marty try to get the rules changed so that the Devils could legally unleash a phalanx of turtles bearing tubs of cold sore remedies on their shells to ward off whatever team Drury’s playing on.
:^::::::::::
Oh, I love that so much! Can’t you see all the turtles skittering around on the ice in little helmets and tubs of balm strapped to their shells! I love it. It’s the stuff of S,PW worst nightmares.
Marty just didn’t really want to get invovled in that scene.
Although Marty is very much in favor of curing herpes, he doesn’t think the debate should be played out on the ice. He’s a professional.
I love this idea of the turtle phalanx because I can see Drury screaming and crying and Renney standing there on the bench looking pinched and annoyed, being all, “They’re just turtles Drury. Sheesh. And to think, you were supposed to be Mr. Clutch.” At which point Drury snaps back into focus. “Are you doubting my Clutchness?” he demands. Renney just rolls his eyes. Drury turns purple with rage and whips out the remote control he has to control the jumbotron screeens. “Look up there and watch it!” he screams, waving up at the jumbotron, which is now showing, for the zillionth time this season, his LLWS video. Renney just rolls his eyes again and vomits a little into his own mouth. And then Drury, panting from the exertion of his hissy fit, looks back out on the ice, notices the turtles anew, and the whole thing just keeps repeating until the Rangers are forced to forfeit. And Marty, reclining against the crossbar in his crease, thinks, “Well I’ll be damned. I had no idea that would work out so well.”
In all of this, I know there are so many comments I want to make but my mind is still not fuctioning clearly enough to coherently complete a single thought…..so thank you for keeping me entertained.
And to think, you were supposed to be Mr. Clutch.” At which point Drury snaps back into focus. “Are you doubting my Clutchness?” he demands.
I suppose you could make the argument Drury is still Mr. Clutch…literally clutching onto the person closest to him to save him from the turtle phalanx.
Well aside from the turtle allergy they are just too cutting edge of a pet for Drury to understand…….but then I am trying to rack my mind (currently still REALLY fuzzy) at what the hell kind of pet is bland enought for Drury? A Goldfish???
what the hell kind of pet is bland enought for Drury? A Goldfish???
I think we may have previously settled on a pet rock named ‘Rock’
Schnookie, you just won the Katebits Award for the Comment That Made Her Laugh Outloud and Give A Hooting Standing Ovation!
The JumboTron remote control! That must have been the issue that Regier and Drury were so hung up on! Schnookie, hold on, I have to report this to The Buffalo News, right away. The people are clamoring for answers.
Yes….see I know that….but my booze addled mind is not allowing me to process it! Thanks. Also Rob Zombie…..NOT the choice of music that makes a head feel better by the way.
It’s such a shame, because the people of Buffalo would have gladly watched that LLWS video on a permanent loop at HSBC. Someone’s head is gonna roll for this…..
Also Rob Zombie…..NOT the choice of music that makes a head feel better by the way.
I am shocked, a. oil, positively shocked. ;)
I am shocked, a. oil, positively shocked. ;)
As am I. Who would have thought.
It’s such a shame, because the people of Buffalo would have gladly watched that LLWS video on a permanent loop at HSBC.
Dude, the people of Buffalo, if this is true, have far, far bigger problems than I previously thought. Because NO ONE should be willing to watch that LLWS video anymore.
On that note, I’m off to get my annual haircut. I have confidence I won’t end up with an a.oil-style Crunchy eyebrow (because my eyebrows exist in a natural, unwaxed state of bushiness), but I’m not convinced I won’t emerge from the salon with something worse: a Crunchy haircut. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Dude, the people of Buffalo, if this is true, have far, far bigger problems than I previously thought. Because NO ONE should be willing to watch that LLWS video anymore
This is exactly what we have been trying to tell you guys!
Good luck with your haircut! If you decide to go with a Crunchy haircut, make sure you get the The Crunchy with the flippiness at the bottom. That’s the cutest one.
may the force be with you Schnookie.
Dude, the people of Buffalo, if this is true, have far, far bigger problems than I previously thought. Because NO ONE should be willing to watch that LLWS video anymore.
ever might be a better word than anymore :X
good luck on the haircut Schnookie :D
Good luck on the haircut Schnookie! I hope it’ll be egg-beater chic.
Good luck with the haircut Schnookie! I bet it’ll be cook.
I’m not convinced I won’t emerge from the salon with something worse: a Crunchy haircut.
Oh, it’s not very hard to turn a Crunchy haircut into a much more Devils-friendly Lou haircut. There’s always a backup plan.
a.oil-style Crunchy eyebrow
A few more weeks and it will be hardly noticable.
Now I’ve been racheted from believing that I won’t settle for anything less than Hank being traded from the Devils for a ten-pound catfish, to believing that I won’t settle for anything less than Schnookie’s scenario. This must happen! It just must! Maybe this is how we can amuse ourselves at the birthday party on Sunday. We can assign each child a turtle to portray, and then we’ll move them around the backyard as if we are Zach planning the epic turtle vs. Drury battle. It’ll be awesome and we won’t get invited back next year! It’s a perfect plan!
It’ll be awesome and we won’t get invited back next year!
Another one of those things that really matter in life.
I am very happy PP and Zane (their b-days are 5 days apart) are doing a joint hockey birthday party. A couple of the Silvertips are going to come and skate with all the kids….no stupid games, etc…….all out of a house….out on the ice……done. Thank GOD.
I am very happy PP and Zane (their b-days are 5 days apart) are doing a joint hockey birthday party. A couple of the Silvertips are going to come and skate with all the kids
Man, I wish my birthday parties were like that!
Actually, I don’t even really have birthday parties, they tend to be over the holiday season.
Maybe this is how we can amuse ourselves at the birthday party on Sunday. We can assign each child a turtle to portray, and then we’ll move them around the backyard as if we are Zach planning the epic turtle vs. Drury battle. It’ll be awesome and we won’t get invited back next year! It’s a perfect plan!
The attacking turtle army has left me feeling calmer about my departed S,PW than I’ve felt at any point since Sunday. If this scenario can somehow also save you from future children’s birthday parties, well then, I declare this the best plan in the history of plans. And just because you’ve got the turtles, that doesn’t mean you still don’t have the giant catfish. You can have it all Pookie! I heard the catfish is applying for the job of Special Turtle Team coach.
Wait….I thought the Catfish was going to be the Devils coach? I mean….the Devils coach is really just someone warming the bench right? There is no actually decisions to be made there since it is Lou anyhow right???
I am very happy PP and Zane (their b-days are 5 days apart) are doing a joint hockey birthday party. A couple of the Silvertips are going to come and skate with all the kids
Man, I wish my birthday parties were like that!
ME TOO :0 Except I still don’t know how to skate so what the hell am I talking about ….
When’s your birthday Sherry?
Wait….I thought the Catfish was going to be the Devils coach?
I actually did not know this until very recently, but apparently Catfish can walk on land. That’s awesome!
When’s your birthday Sherry?
December 30th, haha. So it’s during the holiday season and everybody’s too partied out but it’s prime weather for going skating. Last year we went skating at Nathan Phillips and then we went to see the Sens play the Leafs at the ACC because I had a very generous friend who bought them off a season ticket holder.
You can have it all Pookie! I heard the catfish is applying for the job of Special Turtle Team coach.
Katebits, one CTMPLTH coming right up! Special Turtle Team. You know, the Devils PP might be one of the worst in the league, but they’re perrenial leaders in the league in terms of TP, or Turtle Phalanx. No other team comes close to the TP numbers the Devils put up.
because I had a very generous friend who bought them off a season ticket holder.
! I hope your friend still has all her/his limbs intact and a soul :X esp since a SENS/LEAFS game?
I actually did not know this until very recently, but apparently Catfish can walk on land. That’s awesome!
If you believe the Labatt Blue commercials, they can talk and dial phones as well.
! I hope your friend still has all her/his limbs intact and a soul :X esp since a SENS/LEAFS game?
He appears to at least. Also, as far as I know he’s rather wealthy. I insisted on paying him back something, because he got me 4 tickets and the face-values were still on them and they certainly were more than I could ever afford. He said that in his circles, money isn’t the most important thing. I had no idea what that meant so I just took his word for it. I’m sincerely hoping he didn’t have to pedal cocaine for it.
He said that in his circles, money isn’t the most important thing. I had no idea what that meant so I just took his word for it. I’m sincerely hoping he didn’t have to pedal cocaine for it.
I think that if he’s wealthy enough to talk about money not being an issue in “his circles” he’s wealthy enough that you really don’t have to worry about it.
It’s always nice to know in some wealthy circles money isn’t everything :D Not to offend, but some of the people my dad knows are just idiots.
Hee, but he’s awfully nice, because FOUR tickets? … with all limbs and soul intact. Wonderful present :D
He said that in his circles, money isn’t the most important thing. I had no idea what that meant so I just took his word for it.
It just means he’s a True Devil.
Wonderful present :D
Yeah, I pretty much owe him coffee for the rest of my life now I think.
Anyways I’m going to head out now. Gotta catch the bus back to ‘Sauga for my driving exam tomorrow morning. I’m nervous, haha.
Have a good day everyone!
Good luck, Sherry! We’ll all be keeping our fingers crossed for you to pass with flying colors!
Good luck Sherry :D repeat a mantra like ‘If all these crazy fucktards can drive, so can I”
Oil taught me and it works :) Don’t be too nervous.
I guess they got tired of getting shafted by all the other teams in the league….Oilers and Isles just made a little draft pick trade.
Lowe must be getting twitchy. The Buffalo News is reporting that he’s (allegedly) preparing to make an offer to Vanek / Parise / Penner and he has the draft picks to back up the offer.
Well, I’ll hand it to Lowe for staying relatively calm. he traded a prospect d-man and a 3rd rounder for a 2nd rounder. That means he’s either stockpiling for next year, or like you said Amy, he’s looking to pluck an RFA or two.
Or….is just just a fucking moron.
I vote Moron.
OIL! have some faith!
They can’t have Parise. He’s ours.
Are we talking about the same LOWE here? Faith? I have faith in the team…….I have FEAR of Lowe. The man is a complete idiot.
Oil has a point.
“They can’t have Parise.”
He could really pull a power move and snatch up Boxworthy, thus neutralizing Parise by throwing him off his game.
As we have just established, Lowe is not that clever.
Yeah, Lowe is kind of a turd. Sorry Oil. it’s a shit situation all around.
Is Boxworthy a Devils employee or a Parise? If its the latter, Lowe could be limited.
Amy, you have to ask one of the -ookies. He sounds like Parise employee though.
If they blow their bank on Penner, I’ll watch that with some amusement. A year after targeting and aquiring Lupul (and then finding out that he was playing very favorable minutes and thus had somewhat inflated numbers), paying him an RFA raise, and then having that blow up in his face, he really should do some research before getting all RFA-happy. Penner’s year this year is a LOT like Lupul’s last year: easy minutes, dominant linemates, but his counting numbers look pretty good.
C’mon, Lowe. Do it again. I dare ya.
He used to be a Parise employee, but then Lou lured him over to work under the umbrella of the NJ Devils. That way he has leverage over Parise in negotiations. Don’t be shocked when Zach signs with the Devils for a bag of crickets and meal worms next season.
Well, if they blow their bank on Vanek they’ll discover that he really is that good offensively (although that +whatever is deceiving). But I really do think the Sabres will match pretty much any offer.
He used to be a Parise employee, but then Lou lured him over to work under the umbrella of the NJ Devils.
See, that’s what I thought too, but you never know. Boxworthy may be more secretive than Lou.
Ok….what the worst choice the Oilers could make? That will be the one Lou will go for. And break the bank doing it. Have no worries.
LOWE will do.
Oil, I don’t think Lowe’s going to go out and pick up Hatcher, so you’re pretty much guaranteed he won’t make the WORST choice. Maybe second worst.
Hey…dont’ discount Lowe too early……he just might……you never know with him.
Oil, I don’t think Lowe’s going to go out and pick up Hatcher, so you’re pretty much guaranteed he won’t make the WORST choice. Maybe second worst.
Andrew, some might argue that you should have said “Cloutier” there, but that’s just splitting hairs.
What am I saying he will pick BOTH cloutier and Hatcher up at a mere 4 mil/yr per player.
Strangely enough I totally wouldn’t put that past him.
Earl, can you believe the Kings are making so many moves. I don’t understand it, it’s like they don’t want to lose next season. I don’t know how to react to that.
Either way, we got two facts to face: a) The Pacific is going to be strong next year, b) Phoenix is totally and completely fooked.
I am definitely eying L.A. with a suspicious eye. I mean, I understand their Crunchy-style pain at watching the little sibling win, but really, it’s a tough mountain they are trying to climb.
I mean, when three teams in your division got 107 points, and you got 68, there’s a lot to make up. Good on them for trying, but gosh, they might have picked a better year to get competitive.
We’ll see. If they can claw their way to 8th, I definitely want to see the Ducks in 1st :P
I keep having to remind myself that the Kings are actually a real team….not just a practice session for the other teams….it is quite difficult actually.
I mean, when three teams in your division got 107 points, and you got 68, there’s a lot to make up. Good on them for trying, but gosh, they might have picked a better year to get competitive.
Baby steps though. I mean, it won’t take much to constitute an improvement, and it’s not like anyone should have expectations for them.
Poor Kings, they try so hard. Not like the Coyotes, who apparently stopped trying years ago. Again, they are going to be the Pacific division whipping boys next year. It’s going to be ugly.
Good on them for trying, but gosh, they might have picked a better year to get competitive.
Baby steps though. I mean, it won’t take much to constitute an improvement, and it’s not like anyone should have expectations for them.
Maybe if you put quotation marks around the word, competitive. Then it sounds fairly doable.
If they get their goaltending squared away, I don’t see why they can’t earn a playoff spot.
So it’s been so busy here I haven’t been able to properly assess the Parise/Boxworthy employment relationship. I think Boxworthy is entirely on the Parise payroll.
On a more serious note, I can only assume Lou would match any offer Edmonton makes (within reason).
Now it’s time for me to go for the day! See you all later!
is that like saying the team is SPECIAL????
…the Coyotes, who apparently stopped trying years ago
So true. How have they let it go on for so long? They used to make the playoffs occasionally.
Is it just Gretzky and his cronyism? Not admitting they need new blood?
shit that should have been “SPECIAL”
is that like saying the team is SPECIAL????
Maaaayyyy be.
is that like saying the team is SPECIAL????
Don’t doubt it for a second.
I really don’t like saying anything bad about Gretzy, so I won’t. But I will say: Damn, they need something out there.
and it’s official. I changed my computers wallpaper here at work. I had a pic of Drury taking a face off against Matt Cullen. It was a good picture. Was.
I replaced it with the movie poster for ‘I Walked With A Zombie’. It’s much more cheerful than the Drury picture now.
If they get their goaltending squared away, I don’t see why they can’t earn a playoff spot.
This is a bit statsy, but I did a little Kings study early last season where I showed how the Kings, aside from goaltending, were playing some really good hockey during the month of November: they were 3rd in the west in offense, 1st in power play, and 3rd in shot differential.
But the goaltending was SO atrocious that it all got lost in the overall record. The bottom-line conclusion: if the Kings had played a netminder in the month of November that could have put up a .900 save percentage, they could have turned a 5-6-2 month into a 9-1-3 month.
It was that tragic.
Well there you go. I make baseless comments and Earl backs ‘em up with facts and stats and stuff. I could get used to this.
Okay, I got one: Charles Wang is a genious of “Lou Proportions.” Earl, make it true!
Is it possible to feel dumber than when you spell ‘genius’ wrong? Awesome.
The Stars really revelled in beating the Kings this past season. The previous season they seemed to have our number, so we really worked hard to pound them. Kind of ignored the fact that everybody else did, too.
A couple of times, though, could have gone either way. We came back from a 3-goal deficit with, like, 8 minutes left in the game once.
(That’s from memory. Might have been 6 minutes.)
Might have been Phoenix.
Charles Wang is a genius of “Lou Proportions.” Earl, make it true!
Well, being pretty west-coast biased, I didn’t write too much on the Isles, but I did have to comment on two things last summer (neither particularly favorable to Wang):
Neil Smith gets fired after 40 days.
Isles sign Dipietro for 15 years.
Now Senor Spam will eat me for having two links in a comment.
“Might have been Phoenix.”
Patty, you’re starting to sound like me. That’s not always a good thing. Just do like i do, if you end up wrong, blame on the alcohol.
All this talk about the LA Queens and no mention of JOOOHHNNNSSSOOONNN.
Earl backs ‘em up with facts and stats and stuff.
I often wish Earl were a Stars blogger, so I could use his kind of stats to shut up the local nutjobs.
Just do like i do, if you end up wrong, blame on the alcohol.
Maybe it was the alcohol.
(Hey! That worked! Thanks, Andrew!)
Earl, can we rent you out on a per-team blogging status? You’ll be IPB’s blogging mercenary, attacking nutjobs all over the interwebs. Sort of like a one man A-Team.
Jordi, is that that Jack Johnson guy? I don’t know much about him, but I think I remember he’s a good.
Sort of like a one man A-Team.
Andrew, I think you may have said the magic words.
The Stars really revelled in beating the Kings this past season.
Patty, if there was one reason I was skeptical about the Stars last year, it was precisely because they were so adept at beating the Kings and the Coyotes last year. They went 7-1 against the Dogs and 8-0 against the Kings, with a combined outscoring of 58-31.
I mean, it’s not bad necessarily to beat up on bad teams, but really, 28% of Dallas’ standings points came on the backs of two teams that weren’t going to see the playoffs without paying their cable bills.
Not that other teams are guiltless of beating up on non-playoff teams, by any means, but Dallas really took it to an extreme level last year.
You’ll be IPB’s blogging mercenary, attacking nutjobs all over the interwebs.
And when you’re finished proving our hockey points to them, also punch them in the mouth.
“And when you’re finished proving our hockey points to them, also punch them in the mouth.”
And then shoot the ground around their feet, scaring them off.
But, man, you should have heard the wailing about the one we lost to Phoenix!
“We’re never going to succeed if we can’t win all 8 against Phoenix!!!”
So what if we lose all our games against Detroit. :(
“And when you’re finished proving our hockey points to them, also punch them in the mouth.”
And then shoot the ground around their feet, scaring them off.
Ha! Sure, I can be a gun-for-hire if you want, but be warned, I have plenty more Duckstats than I do for the league.
But I think you’re strategy is all wrong. First I have to storm in and be captured and threatened. Then I get locked in a storeroom to ponder my fate with only the most weldable materials at my disposal. After that’s when we get into mouth-punching and ground-shooting.
precisely because they were so adept at beating the Kings and the Coyotes last year
This was the kind of thing that made me not so worried about the Red Wings going very far. They only had one team in their division that gave them any trouble. Still, they went farther than we did.
We didn’t totally suck against the rest of the division. No 8-0s, though.
If you’re bored, maybe you could look up our stats against the Ducks and Sharks. :D Only if you’re not busy.
So when do the Bond girls enter Earl?
I’m going to try to be more statbitty next season. It’ll give me some good database/reporting/java practice. At least that’s what I’ll say when I get in trouble for working on it.
There are several out there, Earl included, that have some great stats based on quality of minutes and opponents and shots and, probably, ice. I love reading them, but I am terrible at gathering them.
“If you’re bored, maybe you could look up our stats against the Ducks and Sharks. :D Only if you’re not busy.”
What? Just you can have ammo against me and Earl? I don’t think so Patty!
“So when do the Bond girls enter Earl?”
In his dreams!
HAHA Zing!
I have to have something to defend myself with, Andrew! It’ll probably just end up being the stick you take out of my hand and beat me with anyway.
Pretty sure it won’t be much to wield.
If you’re bored, maybe you could look up our stats against the Ducks and Sharks. :D Only if you’re not busy.
Well, part of my statsness is that I have a spreadsheet that makes these kinds of questions very easy.
Stars vs. Coyotes: 7-1-0, 28 goals for, 15 goals against
Stars vs. Kings: 8-0-0, 30 goals for, 16 goals against
Stars vs. Ducks: 4-3-1, 14 goals for, 21 goals against
Stars vs. Sharks: 5-3-0, 17 goals for, 16 goals against
Stars vs. Ducks: 4-3-1, 14 goals for, 21 goals against
Stars vs. Sharks: 5-3-0, 17 goals for, 16 goals against
Hmm. Interesting. Beating the Coyotes and Kings 15-1 makes us seem suspect, but beating the Sharks and Ducks more than they beat us doesn’t make up for that a little? :D
Just kidding. I know that wasn’t the discussion. As you know, it’s all moot now. The Cup has been won.
Guerin signed. 4.5 mil. Islanders.
Earl, do you add the data to your spreadsheet every day or so, or at the end of the season? Or is it somehow populated automatically? Just curious.
Do you get quality of X kind of stats yourself, or from various stats blogs/sites?
Just you wait Patty! This year, the Sharks are gonna come out there and they’re gonna beat the Stars! well, hopefully more than four times anyway.
Earl is so statbitty.
“Guerin signed. 4.5 mil. Islanders.”
ugh, are you serious Jordi? That guy is so not worth that much money.
Guerin signed. 4.5 mil. Islanders.
O Happy Day!
Thanks, Jordi!
http://tsn.ca/nhl/news_story.asp?ID=212856&hubName=nhl
That’s Wang money!
Oh, poor Islanders! They are being so desperate now.
Hmm. Interesting. Beating the Coyotes and Kings 15-1 makes us seem suspect, but beating the Sharks and Ducks more than they beat us doesn’t make up for that a little? :D
Well, that’s the fun side of the new standings. Sure the Stars went 4-3-1 against the Ducks, but the Ducks went 4-2-2 against the Stars. Also, the Stars went 5-3-0 against the Sharks, but the Sharks went 3-4-1 against the Stars (so you have something there, at least).
Earl, do you add the data to your spreadsheet every day or so, or at the end of the season? Or is it somehow populated automatically? Just curious.
I’m a doofus with no real data-pulling skills. So I add data by hand, essentially, every day (or every couple days, if I’m falling behind). I’d like to automate, sure, but I think I’m still going through a phase of trying to think about how the data should be structured.
Do you get quality of X kind of stats yourself, or from various stats blogs/sites?
I have none of these stats myself. Pretty much any time I am citing quality of minutes I am stealing the work of Behind the Net or 5-on-5 time-on-ice sites, which do pull and aggregate these types of numbers for techno-idiots like me.
Sorry Patty, I answered all your questions, but only Senor Spam likes the answers.
Short answers: I pull most of the game data by hand at the end of every day, but when it comes to “quality of minutes” stuff, that is stolen from two websites that I won’t link to in this comment.
You’ll have to wait for Senor Spam to finish with them first. :P
Mags and I were talking and we both agree that the price was too high for Guerin, but he could be good for the Islanders. Depending on if he picks it up a bit. He can be a great player (albiet underperforming lately) and even then a solid player.
The Islanders need anyone they can get their hands on at this point.
Ooh, Ducks signed D Shane Hnidy, which really isn’t that significant except Eklund gave that a rare e5 yesterday morning.
Earl killed the thread. Nice.
And he killed it for a LONG time. I suspect it was the Eklund compliment.
I suspect it was the Eklund compliment.
It was my unwillingness to follow up with a “Hnidermayer” nickname comment.
heh…..Hnidermayer.
Naw, in my opinion only Schneider gets that distinction. It works much better.
Too true, Mags. I will stick to only Schneidermayer. Hnidermayer just cheapens the whole thing, that slagface.
Hnidermayer just cheapens the whole thing, that slagface.
Well I wouldn’t call him that. But it’s just LESS than Schneidermayer.
Sorry about the Senor Spam thing, Earl! (Actually, WordPress was finally smart enough to realize that you’re not spam; it just strangely held the comments in the moderation queue, a feature I thought we had disabled.) Anyway, please direct your attention back to comments #282 and #311.
Love the A-Team stuff. It’s all about shooting the ground around their feet.
(Actually, WordPress was finally smart enough to realize that you’re not spam; it just strangely held the comments in the moderation queue, a feature I thought we had disabled.)
I think I’ve been in moderation before (seriously), but that was before I turned 21 (joke).
“please direct your attention back to comments #282″
I did. Earl, you certainly didn’t make the Wanger look like a genius. Too tough of a challenge? Probably. That guy makes Al Davis look almost sane. almost.
Earl, you certainly didn’t make the Wanger look like a genius.
Oh man, I totally thought you were using “genius” in the mocking sense, like I use it. It’s strange, but thanks to this awesome counterculture we live in, pretty much the only time I use the term “genius” is to suggest that someone is an idiot.
“I totally thought you were using “genius” in the mocking sense”
Oh no, I wanted to see if you could actually pull together stats and facts that could make Wanger actually look smart. But I see how you might have thought I was being sarcastic. It was a loaded question for sure.
Oh no, I wanted to see if you could actually pull together stats and facts that could make Wanger actually look smart.
Well, I have no post or no data for this, but I will say this on Wang’s behalf. I think it’s a very good strategy, in a general sense, to find a young player to build around and to offer them a ridiculous 15-year contract (provided you have enough money later to eat the end of it if necessary). Wang I am sure is behind the notion of offering Dipietro that 15 year deal, which I think is inspired, except that Dipietro is the wrong person and the wrong position for that strategy.
I am thinking that for the Ducks, if we could somehow lock Ryan Getzlaf in on a 15-year contract, that would be a very sound and solid Wang-inspired move.
That’s about all I got pro-Wang off the top of my head, though.
That was a pretty good effort Earl. I still laugh at the 15 year contract. Lunacy!
So, here’s my NYI story:
My old man is not a hockey fan by any means. But he is a huge gambler. He’ll bet on anything sports, except for hockey (and if I’m present, he’ll get a team from me, then bet on them). So he’s in Vegas last summer, and he’s talking to some random in the sportsbook at Binion’s who happens to be an Islanders fan. This was right after they hired Nolan, LaFontaine, and Smith. Anyways, this guy was fired up on the Islanders and was apparently convincing enough to turn my dad into a believer. I had told him to put money on the Sabres or the Ducks, but did he listen to me? Of course not. So he puts something like $100 on NY to win the cup. Since he doesn’t like the sport he ouldn’t watch any games! Every damn week he would call me to ask how they were doing. It was great when they were just coming apart at the seams for a while there:
“How are the Islanders doin’?”
“Well dad, they fired their 40-day old GM and replaced him with their backup goalie.”
“…”
It was pretty funny. Well, I guess you had to be there.
Sorry! Had a cube visitor for the last hour. So I’m going back and catching up. I see your links, Earl. I’ve looked at those a few times, too. I might need to start collecting stuff myself.
It was pretty funny. Well, I guess you had to be there.
No, that’s funny.
He probably would have looked silly betting on them to make the playoffs, but that happened. So you never know. :D
Looks like the thread died while I was gone. So… I guess I’ll jump into traffic and inch my way home.
I came back just in time to see Guerin signed on TSN. I’m disappointed but I wouldn’t have wanted Murray to pay much.
But apparently there’s going to be a head coach announcement tomorrow from the Senators. Yay! NEWS.
But apparently there’s going to be a head coach announcement tomorrow from the Senators.
Please let it be Pat Quinn… Please let it be Pat Quinn… Please let it be Pat Quinn :P
Please let it be Pat Quinn… Please let it be Pat Quinn… Please let it be Pat Quinn :P
I think you meant BURNS. Pat BURNS.
In all seriousness though, as much as I dislike the Leafs, I don’t think Quinn’s a half-bad coach.
Still wouldn’t wish him onto my team though. He’d probably make Spezza cry. Which, come to think of it…maybe not a bad thing.
Yeah, maybe a good cry is all Spezza needs? (I love that the Devils admitted, after they drove Larry Robinson crazy, that they need a hard-ass coach. Apparently part of being a True Devil is that you’re a coach killer AND in dire need of constant disciplining.)
But apparently there’s going to be a head coach announcement tomorrow from the Senators. Yay! NEWS.
Ooh, I hope they have finalized nominations for their coach-selection committee!
I might need to start collecting stuff myself.
Shoot me an e-mail, Patty (or anyone who’s interested) and I’ll shoot you over the spreadsheets I collected this past year. They’re not that handy on their own (you still need a way to pull and present the data), but it gives an idea of what I’ve been using, and maybe it can give you some ideas of how to improve it.
earlsleek (at) gmail (dot) com
Ooh, I hope they have finalized nominations for their coach-selection committee!
That’s gotta be worth another Bailey’s, right? Or am I just pushing it right now :P
That’s gotta be worth another Bailey’s, right? Or am I just pushing it right now
You’re just pushing it. So hypersensitive! (You don’t see us collecting a Bailey’s every time he takes a “coachless” jab at the Devils. Although if it was rum, we’d probably be much more diligent about jumping on every slight…)
Pookie just said in Sid’s voice, “I’d like my slights paid off in goldschlager, please.”
Goldschlaeger you mean. (have to add the e if you don’t use an umlaut. I’m sorry, this is something that really bugs me…)
Oh, sorry! I knew when I was typing it that I was spelling it wrong, but I just finished a giant bowl of chili and am not interested in getting up to check the spelling because I’m in a food coma. Nor was I willing to open another window on my laptop and look it up. Thanks, Umlaut Police! ;-)
Although if it was rum, we’d probably be much more diligent about jumping on every slight…
Careful there. The reason I’m so freely giving with Bailey’s is because I really don’t drink the stuff. But rum you will have to collect by pumping my stomach.
Or am I just pushing it right now :P
Sherry, on the other hand, is very much looking forward to alcohol-Bailey’s-poisoning, it seems. I’ll supply the liquor and drive you to the e.r., but the medical bills are all yours.
:P Yeah, sorry. I’m a notorious grammar nazi when it comes to German and Dutch (and French to an extent), because it’s one of the things that is so heavily structured everything collapses when you get one thing wrong. English isn’t quite as bad in my opinion.
But, wth, hockey blog. What am I fussing about.
English isn’t quite as bad in my opinion.
…quite so bad, you mean.
But rum you will have to collect by pumping my stomach.
I’m just not sure you’ve insulted me enough yet to demand that… :P
I knew it.
Mags, as much as you’d probably not believe it based on the crimes against the English language that I perpetrate every day here at IPB, I’m quite the grammar pedant. So polyglot pedantry is always welcome in my book!
I love grammar sticklers! I’m one, myself. My friend at work actually gave me a “grammar police” button.
I think I’ve told Schnookie about this, but if there’s one really nerdy way that I am a (stupid) language nazi is that it drives me insane when people refer to the year 2007 as “two thousand seven”. Yeah, that means I’m pretty much against the entire English-speaking world here.
You see, I was raised in a time when we didn’t use number names to classify years. Back in the 1980s, for example, we never used the phrase “the one thousand nine hundred eighties”. No, instead we had a different naming convention for years: we called them the “nineteen eighties” for brevity’s sake.
But all of a sudden the world hits 2000 and decides “Fuck that system. I’m calling it ‘two thousand’ now. Never mind that 100 years ago it was ‘nineteen hundred’ and in 100 years it will be ‘twenty-one hundred’. Fuck all that. ‘Two thousand’.”
I have no idea why this outrages me so, or why I’m such a stickler in a world that clearly will not conform. But dammit, I will continue to insist: “twenty oh-seven”, the way we used to always do it.
While I have never been personally offended by “two thousand and seven”, in deference to you Earl, it’s “twenty oh seven” from now on.
I too was raised in the nineteen eighties.
Earl, hey, works for me.
Oh, my gosh, Earl, I’m SO WITH YOU!
This drives me crazy! I do avoid arguments by just saying oh-seven when I can.
I really hate it when they talk about a hockey season by saying the two-thousand-six, two-thousand-seven season. Like fingernails on a chalkboard. At least shorten it to oh-six, oh-seven. Even in the last century they did that.
Don’t get me started on everyday vs. every day. Seriously, don’t get me started.
Islanders ink Comrie.
Did he and Guerin play in Edmonton at the same time?
But dammit, I will continue to insist: “twenty oh-seven”, the way we used to always do it.
Except when the Kaiser stole our zeroes and we had to say twenty jiggety-seven, of course.
Except when the Kaiser stole our zeroes and we had to say twenty jiggety-seven, of course.
Sorry Pookie, I got all caught up in a strange world of emails and IMs. This was a great comment, not at all worthy of thread-killing.
Allow me.
I agree, Pookie. I got a little distracted and wandered away. Saw something shiny, as it were.
Back in the 1980s, for example, we never used the phrase “the one thousand nine hundred eighties”. No, instead we had a different naming convention for years: we called them the “nineteen eighties” for brevity’s sake.
You ARE old and crochety :P
Sherry, on the other hand, is very much looking forward to alcohol-Bailey’s-poisoning, it seems.
I also accept compensation in the form of money, hockey tickets or designer clothing.
Sorry Pookie, I got all caught up in a strange world of emails and IMs. This was a great comment, not at all worthy of thread-killing.
Thanks, Earl and Patty. I actually hadn’t notice no one had responded! I was so wrapped up in something not at all shiny — the Devils “Game to Remember”.
Islanders ink Comrie.
Thank GOD. Now everyone in Buffalo will shut up about how we should sign him. Of course, now it’ll just turn to choruses of how Darcy should have signed him, but those are much easier to drown out, because I don’t have to deal with the anxiety of possibly having a Little Bitch on my team.
I really can’t even imagine anyone wanting their team to sign that Little Bitch. It just makes no sense to me! (And really, what is it about the Sabres roster that makes their fans think, “You know what we really need more of? Streaky, overpaid, undersized, self-aggrandizing forwards. If only we had Comrie“?)
Thank GOD. Now everyone in Buffalo will shut up about how we should sign him.
Ditto Dallas and Guerin! Thanks, Islanders!
I was stunned to realize that That Little Bitch is only 26. He’s been around the NHL block hasn’t he?
And really, what is it about the Sabres roster that makes their fans think, “You know what we really need more of? Streaky, overpaid, undersized, self-aggrandizing forwards. If only we had Comrie“?
I don’t know. And then they see Souray and think “An overpaid, offensively potent, defensively unsound defenseman who doesn’t use his size is just what the doctor ordered! There’s no way a signing like that could blow up in our faces! Huh? Spacek, who?” (Granted, he would probably jump-start our PP, but that’s not worth upwards of 5 mil.)
What can I say, all the Chicken Littles fancy themselves GMs.
You ARE old and crochety :P
What’s that? Speak into my good ear.
Isn’t everyone raised in the 1980s already? Or am I too stupid to understand what that really means?
I think I’ve stopped sympathising for the Islanders when I heard about the Comrie signing. Ew. Ew. Ew.
What’s that? Speak into my good ear.
What big teeth you have grandma!