A Game Diary To Remember, NJ @ NYR 12/17/06
July 5, 2007 by Schnookie
How cruel (and yet hilarious) to give us a Rangers game on this UFA week. We’d be grossed out, but after consulting our “15 To Remember” schedule, we’re endlessly delighted to see that the Devils won this one 6-1. Heh. (Of course, one can only wonder how much Gomez has to do with that. The slag-faced whore.)
FIRST PERIOD
19:47 Doc is talking, a bit more graphically than we’d like, about how Aaron Ward has been puking his guts out with the flu.
19:11 Ah, the famous “It’s a pastry shop — full of turnovers” comment from Chico. He doesn’t claim credit for it, though, and says it’s an old player expression. Perhaps in Chico’s crazy world that’s something players say a lot; we’re a lot more inclined to believe players say things like, “The turnovers were giving 110%” and “Those pucks were just trying to be the best turned-over pucks they could possibly be.”
18:20 Some Ranger named Adam Hall gets a nice chance on a strangely-developing 2-on-1, and Marty makes one of those “fuck you, Ranger fans!” flashy glove saves. Heh. He’s probably practicing his “fuck you” body language for next season’s Ranger games already.
17:38 From what Doc and Chico are saying, neither one of these teams has been doing anything worth watching in the weeks leading up to this matchup. Lundqvist is on the bench after a game the Rangers gave up 9 goals in (For reals? Why don’t we remember this?) and the Devils have lost three straight one-goal games.
17:09 Dowd gets called for hooking just as Chico is saying the Devils need to stop taking bad penalties. He goes so far as to say that the Devils recent penchant for spending a lot of time in the box is “breaking up the flow and consistency of their game.” Pookie: “Yeah. Flow and consistency. That’s what people tune into the Devils for.”
15:01 As we watch Kevin Weekes, looking in net like he’s fully qualified to sit on the Devils bench next year, make an unsteady save on a weak shot, Pookie declares, “You know how dead to me Gomez is already? When they said his name earlier in this period, I was like, ‘Wait, when did he play for us?’”
14:37 The Ranger fans cheer when Ward slides to break up a Gionta-and-Gomez two-on-one. Of course, Gio was the puck-carrier and Gomer the “shooter”, so it was an easy one to defend. And Gomer’s a slag-faced whore, so it’s not like he was going to score or anything.
14:27 As the EGG line does nothing of note in the offensive zone, we hilariously realize we’re cheering for Weekes to do well.
13:58 Zach can be seen squeezing his stick into sawdust (graphite powder?) — JP is in the house tonight. Doc’s mention of JP being in the building turns into a discussion of how Ty Gretzky is currently at Shattuck. We collapse, needless to say, into paroxysms of laughter. (Oho — here’s where the rumor started that Sid lived at the Parises when he was at Shattuck. We wondered where we’d gotten that from, and it seems this was the night, as Chico cheerfully declares Sid was Zach’s little replacement when Zach went away to college.)
11:55 After kneeing Whitey (and getting called for it), Prucha gets a faceful of skateblade for his efforts. As he goes to the dressing room to get the two halves of his face sewn back together, Ozolinsh serves his penalty. Ozolinsh? Seriously? He was still a Ranger at this point?
10:59 Raffie watches the puck go past him at the point and lead to an odd-man rush for the PK unit. We are not sorry to know he’s gone.
10:27 Hm. Oduya also lets the puck go past him at the point. See? He’s just like Raffie but costs a sixth as much!
9:44 After Chico gives the Devils futile power play a rating of “One. At the best. That was not a good power play.” on a scale of one to five, Pookie says in anticipation of next season, “I like the thought of Clarkson on the power play instead of Brylin.” Schnookie, aghast, says, “You don’t like Brylin on the PP? Her?”
Chico adds after a few moments, “You know what the best thing about that Devils power play was? They didn’t get scored on.” We force a bitter laugh. Yeah, November and December were not great months for the Devils last year.
8:59 The name Kasparaitis comes up during the course of the play-by-play. Pookie: “Kasparaitis?? Why are they showing us a game to remember from seven years ago?”
8:11 Pando shanks a half-decent chance in the high slot. How do we score six in this one? And how do the Rangers only score one?
6:54 Doc tells us the Devils were outhit in their last game 18-5 by Detroit. We’d force a bitter laugh but we’re too busy whimpering.
5:47 As the Rangers connect on their umpteenth rink-length pass to release a forward in behind the Devils D, we decide we don’t have to look too closely for signs of why Julien was fired.
3:10 Both of these teams made the playoffs? For reals? The Rangers just gave up a two-on-one… to the Madden line.
2:22 Patty gets sprung streaking through the crease, but because he’s Patty he barely waves his stick at the puck. Strangely, a Ranger defenseman seemed not to pay attention to the scouting report on these guys and actually hooks Patty during this affair and gets called for it. Yay. Power play.
1:09 Chico is lambasting the Devils’ point men on the PP. He explains how, on successive possessions, the Devils killed their own man advantage by letting the puck go down the length of the ice. “First it was Langenbrunner,” Chico says, “Then Rafalski couldn’t do the… couldn’t get the…” And he splutters into silence at how bad Raffie was. Six million a year, Detroit. Have fun with that.
0:41 Straka, also not one to pay attention to the scouting report that Patty is harmless, takes a hooking penalty on a flat-footed Elias behind the Rangers net.
0:31 No WAY! Patty makes those two guys who took penalties on him look better and actually scores with the two-man advantage. Pookie: “Who knew Patty scored this year?”
0:00 After what Chico describes as one of the best periods of Devils-Rangers hockey all season to date (which is very telling about how lousy this series was at the beginning of last season), the Devils have a 1-0 lead and we beg to differ with Chico.
SECOND PERIOD
19:14 As if to apologize for the sucktitude of the first twenty minutes, the Devils come out flying, while still on the PP, to start this period.
19:00 Rachunek is killing the penalty — go Rachunek!
18:54 Weekes juggles a not-so-amazing shot. Hm. We’re not sure how excited we are about the Weekesification of the Devils anymore.
18:13 We’re quiet at IPB Manor. Pookie says, “I’m sorry there’s nothing to say about this game.” Schnookie: “Well, we’ve seen it before. And so far it sucks.”
16:50 We are discussing how we think this is the game that had the lengthy review of a Patrik Elias goal that wasn’t originally counted and ultimately caused them to have to re-play about five minutes of the third period. There is some belief that perhaps Zach also had a goal go to a lengthy review. Pookie says that she likes when Zach’s goals go to official review because “he always looks so dashing. Laughing and looking around all confidently. Until he shoots a quick, nervous look, chewing on his lip nervously, wiping away sweat from his brow. Then he realizes the camera’s on him and says, ‘Brave face! Put on a brave face!’”
15:31 This game might not be one Pookie remembers well, but the date in history is one she recalls fondly. She suddenly chirps, “Hey! I think I had this day off!” Good for her.
14:21 In an attempt to make his teammates who have been hooking Patty tonight look better, Malik high sticks that constant scoring threat, John Madden.
13:41 Pookie says, as the power play fumbles along, “Oh, I remember this game now. It’s the one where Rafalski handcuffs Gomez on the power play with a bad pass. No, that was every game.”
13:33 Wha-huh? How did we not remember this? We have that rarest of things: a second power play goal, this one a brutal deflection by Hossa of a Langenbrunner shot from the point. Doc has been harping on how much ice time Ozolinsh has been getting tonight, and remarks that now Ozolinsh and Hossa have deflected shots into their own net. “It’s not meant to be a criticism,” he softens, and Pookie finishes for him, “But I’m criticizing them. They’re awful.”
12:37 Jagr lays a beautiful pass to Prucha, who gets between the Devils D and walks in alone on Marty pretty much from the blueline. 2-1 now, Devils.
11:08 Jagr is completely losing his mind at center ice after trying to corkscrew Madden in the neutral zone. Dude, shut up and get in the box. Chico tries to apologize for Jagr and say it’s an iffy call, but it’s clearly a penalty. CLEARLY.
10:37 We get a lengthy close-up of Gomez just as Pookie says, “I can’t even fathom someone wanting to play on a team captained by Jagr.”
9:55 Why in the heck did the Rangers let a quality goaltender like Weekes go? Because he gives up shit goals like that one to Brylin. Yowza. (Great effort by Zach to force a turnover right in the slot. You can almost see him glancing nervously up to JP in the stands, hoping his never-say-die sticktoitiveness there was noticed.)
9:24 As a fight breaks out between Hollweg and Hale, Pookie says, “Wait, did I say I wanted the season to start?” Hale gets an extra interference minor.
7:22 The Rangers are really awful in this game — with Marty swimming in the blue paint, not a single Ranger can get a stick on the loose puck. We are in agreement that we will be very disappointed if they don’t suck next year.
6:12 As Gomer wheels pointlessly through the neutral zone Doc tells us how “the number 23 on his back reminds us of his birthday on the 23rd of December, and the time he scored a hat trick in this building on that day his rookie year.” That birthday hat trick at MSG is like Gomer’s LLWS — we are immeasurably tired of hearing about it.
3:54 Gio sort of gently runs into Weekes; Zach did the same thing last time the Devils were at this end of the ice (about a week ago, it feels like). We hope Weekes isn’t holding a grudge for this. (And those were probably the only two times all season the Devils crashed the net hard. It’s nice to see they got that done in just one game.)
3:34 Gio gets called for tripping right off the faceoff in the Rangers zone. What a smart penalty!
2:41 It is almost as silent at The World’s Most Famous Arena (or, as Pookie just called it, “The World’s Most Fabulous Arena”) as it is tonight at IPB Manor. They’re not even booing, this game is so bad.
1:21 Chico walks us through a highlight of Zach flubbing an attempt at getting to a puck in his defensive zone by saying, “As much as Zach’s game is about his offense, it’s really built on his… tenacity.” Schnookie: “I was afraid he was going to say ‘defense’, at which point I’d have to shoot myself.”
0:30 Zach does his best Jagr impression and takes a stupid penalty after Kaspairitis “snookers” him into taking a swipe at him after a little jostling at center ice. Pookie: “Zach hates being snookered. He specifically had Boxworthy deliver notes to all 29 other teams that said, ‘Master Zach Parise does not enjoy being snookered.’ It seems that plan backfired.”
0:05 Roszival gets called for interfering with Madden, and Madden gets called for diving. We weren’t really paying attention, so we don’t know how valid that call is.
0:00 We get a shot of Julien at the buzzer and Pookie notes he actually looked a bit like a catfish. No one’ll ever know the difference when Lou gets our new coach in that Lundqvist deal!
THIRD PERIOD
18:11 After getting scads of amazing scoring chances on their power play (all bested by a very sharp Marty), the Rangers manage to really idiotically pinch at the blue line leading to a two-on-one from just about center ice by Zach and Sarge. Zach slips a pass through the sprawling defenseman and Sarge chips the puck on his backhand past Weekes to open the lead to three. Pookie, as Zach: “Snooker me once, shame on you. Snooker me twice, shame on me.”
17:33 Chico regales us with Gomer’s assy whining about not being able to wear 11 when he was a rookie. He then ponders Gomer retiring a Devil and getting that #23 retired. Heh. Slag-faced whore. We are suddenly very eager to see how quickly Lou reassigns that number.
14:42 Patty gently shoulders Prucha down at the Rangers blueline and Prucha drops like a ragdoll. What is up with that? Has he no sense of pride? Prucha, that was Patrik Elias.
13:03 In discussing how sad Pando must be now that his BFF Gomer is gone, Schnookie suggests he’s like that little kid in the Arctic in the third of the “His Dark Materials” trilogy, the one with the little dried fish in place of his lost daemon. We both laugh, until we’re suddenly struck with how terribly sad that is. Further discussion of who in the NHL is like which characters in those books leads to the conclusion that Slats is that polar bear king with the wooden dummy daemon and the flies coming out of his mouth when he speaks, and Lou, with his beautiful fur coat and golden monkey daemon, is like Mrs. Coulter. In that small children can’t resist him. Or something.
11:50 Mr. Delay Of Game, Johnny Oduya, without much pressure on him, flings the puck into the stands. Nice! He’s just like Raffie but costs a sixth as much!
11:31 Chico assures us that he spoke with JP Parise this evening, and heard from JP that Jordan Parise, after seeing Marty up close and personal at training camp, has declared Brodeur “a phenom.” We’re glad to hear it, because we weren’t so sure that Brodeur kid was the real deal.
9:48 MSG sounds like a haunted cavern or something, with only faint, ghostly whistles floating through the massive space. It’s always a delight to see it like that!
9:02 No shit. The Rangers were leading the division this late in the season? And Tampa was in 13th place? Chico informs us that, even though they’re in 10th place right now, “It’s going to be hard to keep the Penguins out of the playoffs this year.” Pookie: “It’s not going to be hard to knock them out of the playoffs.”
8:00 Doc informs us that many of the World’s Greatest Fans are trickling out to beat the traffic.
6:15 It is really amazing that the score is so lopsided in the Devils’ favor, because they’ve barely had the puck tonight. And when they’ve had it, they’ve not kept it for long. They capitalized on chances they got, took advantage of some weak goaltending, and have let the Rangers take care of themselves.
6:05 A closeup of Zach shows him working his Larssen eyebrow exercises furiously. It’s like a jungle gym for his eyebrows.
5:01 Patty roofs the puck under the crossbar on a great bang-bang play, but it pops out so quickly that play continues. Patty raises his arms, but without conviction, so Chico wonders if maybe it wasn’t a goal. The play continues on… and on… and Doc posits that maybe, with the score already pretty much out of reach, no one will bother reviewing that. The few Ranger fans left in the building are hoping so.
The clock continues winding down without a whistle, and Chico tells us the truck reviewed the play and confirmed it’s a goal. This is hysterical, how the game keeps going and going and none of this play is going to count. It was funny the first time, and it’s funny now. With the clock down to 1:42, the Devils finally touch on an icing, and we add over three minutes back to the clock in a game that is miles out of reach for the Rangers.
You know, in hindsight the officials really should have taken the lack of an eyeroll from Patty on that play as a sign that he’d just scored. Because he always makes it abundantly clear when he’s missed a wide-open shot.
3:05 Chico also finds this situation hilarious, as he giggles, “Three minutes to go in the game — where have I seen this before?”
2:29 Because Rangers fans are truly the Best Fans On Earth, Doc comments, “It has the sound of a practice now, doesn’t it?” Chico responds, “With how many people are left here, it has the look of a practice too.”
1:48 Travis and Zach zip into the zone on a wide-spread two-on-one, Zach sneaks the puck in past Weekes, and Weekes tries to hide the puck from the officials. We go to another video review, and in a shot of Zach skating down the length of the bench we get a hilarious view of Patty reclining like he’s ready to start stripping off his equipment, order up a snifter of brandy from his creature-of-affairs Oysterworthy, and puff away on a cigar. Ladies and gentlemen, our Captain.
We get prolonged Zach footage as he and Pando chortle away at the bench. Zach was still missing several of his bottom teeth at this point, which seems odd. Those teeth were knocked out in October; Pookie suggests it took so long to replace them because Zach was waiting for the most expensive material in the world that still looks like teeth. A lot of geologists had to plumb a lot of mine depths to find a suitably enamel-ish gemstone.
0:00 Okay, we might have complained from start to finish, but this was, indeed, a game to remember. And seriously, Gomer? You’re a slag-faced whore.
Weekes juggles a not-so-amazing shot. Hm. We’re not sure how excited we are about the Weekesification of the Devils anymore.
No, you should probably be more excited about the Devilification of Kevin Weekes.
Oh, good point, Earl! You really always do have the stats (or, in this case, brilliant ideas) to back up even the craziest scheme! You should definitely look into marketing your statbitty (and quick-witted) blog A-Team services.
I’m way behind, but if someone finds somewhere to buy Power Play can they please let me know? This sounds like something that would entertain my husband and me to a ridiculous degree. Just ridiculous.
Kate, last year Max (I think - it was somebody) came to an agreement with the team the morning of his arbitration hearing so try not to panic if Derek’s date gets close. Theoretically this shouldn’t happen since he and Paetsch are our only aribitration cases whereas last year we had something ridiculous like 13 but it’s Darcy (slow and methodical) so you never know.
Lundqvist is on the bench after a game the Rangers gave up 9 goals in (For reals? Why don’t we remember this?)
I remember this. Lundqvist buried my fantasy team during the first half of the season. Man, he was awful. I was actually really surprised when he got a Vezina nod because he was just that bad.
We get a lengthy close-up of Gomez just as Pookie says, “I can’t even fathom someone wanting to play on a team captained by Jagr.”
Seriously. This boggles my mind.
Shhhh, Heather! We want GMs to tender Hank an offer sheet, remember? Let’s pretend he was phenomenal all season long! Praising the Rangers’ goalie now can only help bring them down in the future.
Thanks for the game diary, Ookies! I think maybe now I’ve worked up enough courage to stomach watching/diarizing Drury and his hat trick against the Rangers. Seriously, did the Rangers go through these “X To Remember” schedules when they were choosing free agents and say “yes, we need to sign these guys because then their fans will really have to suffer”?
Oh, right, Gambler! I forgot! I’m sure Lundy has nothing to do with my fantasy team crashing and burning. It was probably mismanagement on my part.
I didn’t Tivo the Sabres/Rangers game so I can’t watch it, but I’m feeling better about the whole thing so I’m going to try to get back on board next week.
It was probably mismanagement on my part.
Mismanagement is always, always to blame. It’s true, Bucky Gleason told me so.
As far as the Sabres/Rangers game goes, there’s still my game diary to look forward to! You’ll feel like you were there, I promise.
You’re a slag-faced whore.
Holy shit ouch.
The Rangers are so wrong. I think it is a real testimony to the quality of your game diaries (and also how much more I have managed to learn about hockey in a month without hockey), that I found this hilarious. When I first started reading these I coldn’t really make heads or tails of them. Also (being the hockey-fan poser that I am) it’s possible I know more about the Devils than I do about the Sabres at this point. I was talking to a friend about my hatred of the Rangers and he was very confused. He tells me that as a Sabres fan, hatred should be reserved for Toronto and Philly. I told him NONSENSE, I HATE the Rangers. He agreed that the Rangers are certainly unsavory but that it made no sense to hate them more than the Leafs. I kept insisting that the Rangers are the most loathsome of all the teams We went round and round like this until I finally admitted that I get most of my hockey information from a Devils blog, at which point he started eying me suspiciously. Fuck it. I’m with you guys. I’d rather make out for HOURS with the Leafs than surrender my hatred of the Rangers.
Gambler, I commend you for your Game to Remember dedication, but I’m still worried for you. If it gets too intense, JUST STOP. I’m definitely NOT ready. I hear there is a game coming up when both the captains are out, so someone give me a heads up for that one.
I’d rather make out for HOURS with the Leafs than surrender my hatred of the Rangers.
Katebits, this is brave and noble of you, but ewwww. No need to be vulgar. Save these stunts for Fear Factor.
Lundqvist is on the bench after a game the Rangers gave up 9 goals in (For reals? Why don’t we remember this?)
Unfortunately, it was against Toronto. Thus as a Sabres fan, I was actually left wishing the score was reversed.
Kate, I tend to agree with your friend that the Leafs and Flyers are more loathsome than the Rangers. But I have a lot of hate in my heart and am happy to spread it around.
But I have a lot of hate in my heart and am happy to spread it around.
Hearhear.
We’re not going to have to out-hate each other will we?
No way, don’t steal the hate, SHARE IT! (besides, you’d win)
But I have a lot of hate in my heart and am happy to spread it around.
My hate comes in a limited amount, but I’m look forward to some serious hate reallocation on the eventual day when Hasek and Chelios retire.
I’d rather make out for HOURS with the Leafs than surrender my hatred of the Rangers.
UGH! So unclean.
But I have a lot of hate in my heart and am happy to spread it around.
Hearhear.
Seconded! There are times when I’m pretty sure I have enough hate for all 29 other teams (and you’ve seen the special brand of “love” I have for the Devils, so you can imagine the vortex of negativity I am when that kind of mood strikes…). And Katebits, I think what you’ll learn is that a lot of the hate is cyclical. There was a time, during the ‘00-’02 seasons, when the highest level of hate for Devils fans was for the Leafs, after two years of nasty playoff matchups with them. And the Ranger hate is, at this very moment, in laser focus. While I recognize there are a lot of vibrant, awesome rivalries in the league, the one that is the absolutely, two-way meanest right now is, in my opinion, Devils-Rangers. It started last year with the sort of obligatory fake broadcaster-bred “Hee hee — these two teams have such a great rivalry” stuff, and after 5 games against them, the Devils fans, broadcasters and players were just like, “This isn’t even fun anymore. This isn’t good hate. This isn’t an enjoyable rivalry. This is flat-out, steely-eyed, bald-faced loathing.” And we still had to play three more games against them. It’s truly and utterly awful right now between these teams, and the free agent signings so far seem to indicate things aren’t going to get any better next season. So basically my point is this: I normally really love a good rivalry game, like Devils-Flyers, or, yes, Devils-Leafs (next year Devs-Senators should be fun), but when you get the Devils and the Rangers onto the same ice surface there’s not a single thing about it that’s fun. Until it’s over, and even then, it has to be something like 6-1 — anything less than that just has us grousing, “The league really has to do something about this stupid unbalanced schedule…”
I think what you’ll learn is that a lot of the hate is cyclical.
It’s true. While the Leafs-Senators rivalry have a lot of history to it, as of late it’s just become tiresome because it hasn’t really been a ‘rivalry’ so much as the same old story–the Senators kick their butts during the regular season and the playoffs blahblahblah historycakes.
The more interesting true rivalry now is Senators-Sabres, that’s where you can expect fireworks instead of “Oh look. It’s you…AGAIN”.
While the Leafs-Senators rivalry have a lot of history to it, as of late it’s just become tiresome because it hasn’t really been a ‘rivalry’ so much as the same old story
Yeah, that became a problem for the Devils-Rangers rivalry during that 7-year stretch where they missed the playoffs. The Devils were unbeaten in something like 30 straight games against them for a while there. Man, what I’d give to go back to those “It’s you… AGAIN” times.
(Strangely, the Flyers thing with the Devils is nowhere near as bad. The two teams, no matter how bad the Flyers were last year, have been really evenly matched looking at the regular-season record between them, and they’ve met three times in the last 12 years in the playoffs, two of those meetings in the ECF. And yet… it’s still fun. So why do we have to suffer the soul-crushing yuckiness of the current Devils-Rangers crap? Whyyyyyy?????)
Also (being the hockey-fan poser that I am) it’s possible I know more about the Devils than I do about the Sabres at this point.
I meant to comment on this earlier — Katebits, you have no idea how proud I am to hear this!
The more interesting true rivalry now is Senators-Sabres, that’s where you can expect fireworks instead of “Oh look. It’s you…AGAIN”.
I agree. People hype Buffalo/Toronto as the rivalry, but IMO, it falls into the “you AGAIN” category.
Buffalo/Philly has the potential to fall into the hatred category…its wobbling on the brink right now.
I’d rather make out for HOURS with the Leafs than surrender my hatred of the Rangers.
Katebits, I’m so proud of you for seeing the light!
And I have to admit, I’m so glad we can be playing such an influential role in your fandom. Every new fan should learn all they need to know from a Devils blog! Hee hee! Seriously, I’m so glad you’re liking the diaries. I think Schnookie did an awesome job with this one!
Pronger my thighs burn for you…
*snicker*
Don’t mind me I’m going to sleep. :D
‘Night Jordi!
Wow, IPB is a terribly unpopular place to hang out today, isn’t it?
Sorry, had to work. Just got back. Bad day at the ER. Going to make dinner now. Will catch up.
I actually have work today…what’s with that?
Pronger my thighs burn for you…
STOP MAKING MY BRAIN MELT.
I should be working, too, but I just saw on TSN.com that the Oilers have signed Vanek to an offer sheet!!
I’d rather make out for HOURS with the Leafs than surrender my hatred of the Rangers.
T___T the Leafs, are actually kind of hot.
the Senators kick their butts during the regular season and the playoffs blahblahblah historycakes.
Bc as (I think) the sole Leaf fan, must defend my team - hahaha I seem to remember Sherry, that the season series was tied? Shootout wins/losses counted bc a lot of those were ties.
Schnookie :D I woke up late.
wtf ? 7 year, 50 mil?!
Oilers offer to Vanek is $50 million for 7 years.
What. The. Fuck.
I just saw on TSN.com that the Oilers have signed Vanek to an offer sheet!!
ARE YOU SERIOUS?????
Did they specifically pick the guy whose team has spent NOTHING on free agents so far so they wouldn’t have to actually worry about the offer sheet not being matched?
$50M for 7 years? Sheesh. Take the draft picks, Darcy.
Sabres are calling a press conference on the Vanek situation. 12:30 EST.
That can’t be good!
Can we put Buffalo on suicide watch?
I had a joke about this with Earl last night. It’s not funny now…
that’s four first rounders. FOUR!
i assume they plan on using edm + ana? Unless they can’t use Anaheim’s.
Hey i just heard on TV, Hasek could gain 2 mil in bonuses really?
“$50M for 7 years? Sheesh. Take the draft picks, Darcy.”
I’m with you Schnookie, but the way things have gone over the past week. If Darcy does that, he’ll be tarred and feathered.
Hey i just heard on TV, Hasek could gain 2 mil in bonuses really?
You didn’t know?
Okay, poll T__T if you were Darcy, would you take the four first rounders?
THAT’S A WHOLE LOT OF CHANCES TO LAND TAVARES!
I sort of feel like when a GM is publicly as desperate, pathetic, incompetent and spiraling-out-of-control as Lowe is right now, he should have his license revoked. He shouldn’t be allowed to mess with the fortunes of teams other than his own.
Nope, Mags, just thought it was 2 mil base.
Over 7 million a year…Jesus, Lowe, Vanek is not going to turn the Oilers into a winning team.
If I was Vanek though, i’d TOTALLY sign this offer sheet :X I can’t blame him. That’s more money than briere.
$50M for 7 years?
Holy crap if this is true I better never hear the Oilers brass complain about inflationary salaries ever ever ever ever again.
And seriously, for a team with as much young talent as Edmonton has been stockpiling, I’m not sure if this is a precedent that Lowe should be that eager to set.
This is just rediculous. Lowe is offering $7+ million for a guy who has had one really good year, and not a whole lot of gonads come playoff time. Isn’t this why we went through the lockout in the first place? If fucktard GM’s can still pull this kind of stunt, not to mention the crazy Drury/Gomez signings, it appears we’re headed back to square one.
It’s 10 million for the first two due to the signing bonus? That’s just so damn crazy.
Oh. My. God.
What in the name of everything holy is going on at the Sabres front offices?
And seriously, for a team with as much young talent as Edmonton has been stockpiling, I’m not sure if this is a precedent that Lowe should be that eager to set.
Salient point. Heh.
I’m under the impression all the draft picks have to be the team’s own. So they’ll be really, really good draft picks coming from Edmonton.
What in the name of everything holy is going on at the Sabres front offices?
This isn’t coming from the Sabres front offices. This is because the Oilers are stupid/desperate enough to make the offer, and Vanek’s assy enough to take it.
Should the Sabres not match it, though, you can start wondering what’s going on there…
Good lord.
I say Buffalo takes the four first rounders :X. There’s no way they want to match that! :X that’s crazy!
Or maybe they will :X before Buffalo News rips into them for losing both captains AND Vanek.
:X Crap. he’d make more than Iginla!
But the thing is, the Oil can afford to give up a few, bc they still have Anaheim’s 1st, 2nd rounders from the Pronger trade.
Vanek’s assy enough to take it.
:x I would sign it. That would pay me more than IGINLA!
This is just rediculous. Lowe is offering $7+ million for a guy who has had one really good year
It should also be pointed out that he had that really good year on a team stocked with talent. I mean, everyone in Buffalo had 30 goals last year. So it’s hard to imagine what a guy like Vanek brings to the table all by his lonesome.
“That would pay me more than IGINLA!”
More than most players in the league.
Let me be the first to say it: Vanek, you slag-faced whore!
But the thing is, the Oil can afford to give up a few, bc they still have Anaheim’s 1st, 2nd rounders from the Pronger trade.
Of course, Anaheim’s picks are nowhere near as good as Edmonton’s own will be! :P
This isn’t coming from the Sabres front offices. This is because the Oilers are stupid/desperate enough to make the offer, and Vanek’s assy enough to take it.
I get that. I just meant that what is the reason for the delay in signing these free agents? Free agency is something that’s kind of known about ahead of time, its not like its a spontaneous thing.
Regier and Quinn did say that they are keeping Vanek in last week’s presser, but they’re going to get tarred and feathered no matter what decision they make.
I need a cookie and am going to look for one.
:x I would sign it.
Me too. In a second.
Don’t get me wrong, Vanek is incredibly talented. But I imagine my problems with him are similar to the -ookies’ issues with Gomer. He tends to coast on his natural talent sometimes. You just watch him lazily skating through the neutral zone sometimes and you want to slap him!
Let me be the first to say it: Vanek, you slag-faced whore!
Now, now Pookie. At least HIS signing brings the Sabres back 4 first rounders and a heck of a chance to land Tavares or Stamkos.
:D Maybe he’s just slag faced. I mean, if Lowe offered me that :X I would take it.
This isn’t coming from the Sabres front offices. This is because the Oilers are stupid/desperate enough to make the offer, and Vanek’s assy enough to take it.
I get that. I just meant that what is the reason for the delay in signing these free agents? Free agency is something that’s kind of known about ahead of time, its not like its a spontaneous thing.
The delay? Simple. The player has to agree to a contract. With all the rumors about offer sheets flying around, there was no earthly reason for Vanek to sign a contract without waiting to see what would happen first. What, people want Darcy to forge his signature?
The messageboards are going to flip out, and it’s so so so stupid, because this? Not Regier’s fault.
If fucktard GM’s can still pull this kind of stunt, not to mention the crazy Drury/Gomez signings, it appears we’re headed back to square one.
Square one meant only a handful of teams could spend as much as they want on anyone at anytime (e.g. your $70 million+ Rangers who didn’t make the playoffs) whereas other teams would try to manage lean payrolls. Under the current CBA, there is revenue sharing, a hard salary cap (The possibility of Lundqvist may break their cap is hilarious), and a hard salary floor (owners have to spend money - no more sub-$30 million payrolls from Minnesota).
Offer sheets are nothing new; but rare all the same - which was why it wasn’t/isn’t a big deal. If Buffalo accepts this, though, it’s a dumb, dumb move however. You already lost Drury, Briere, and Zubrus; you need to keep some offensive players.
Don’t get me wrong, Vanek is incredibly talented. But I imagine my problems with him are similar to the -ookies’ issues with Gomer. He tends to coast on his natural talent sometimes. You just watch him lazily skating through the neutral zone sometimes and you want to slap him!
Yeah, can you say “contract year”? And dude needed to be benched in the playoffs before he’d start producing. Is that worth 4 decent draft picks? And isn’t next year’s draft stacked?
I just meant that what is the reason for the delay in signing these free agents? Free agency is something that’s kind of known about ahead of time, its not like its a spontaneous thing.
Well, Vanek’s been hearing all year about how he was going to attract offer sheets. So who’s to say he hasn’t been getting fair offers from the Sabres, but wanted to wait and see what other, more ridiculous amounts would be thrown at him by desperate, spiraling-out-of-control GMs around the league? I mean, it’s all well and good as a GM to say you’re going to re-sign a guy, but the fact remains that the guy getting signed has some input into the decision, too. (I mean, look at Niedermayer. Lou offered him the sun and the moon, but Nieder just didn’t want to stay in Jersey. Lou did everything he could but still lost Nieder.)
Hello……Good Morning…..DID I NOT ALL TELL YOU YESTERDAY THAT LOWE IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING FUCKTARD AROUND???
But if Buffalo takes it. They pass up four first rounders. a very good chance that they one day get at least one, if not two Vaneks :X.
Also, if Buffalo does go for the picks; either they have to suck really bad or hope Edmonton blows massive chunks for it to bear out Tavares or some other supposed wonderkid in the 2008-2011 drafts. Otherwise they just get extra picks but not early picks. Those picks may turn into great players, or they may not. This isn’t HF - prospects don’t win you championships.
On the other hand, 4 extra first round picks would be good for trades. Even then, Vanek has at least proven himself (to a point).
But if Buffalo takes it. They pass up four first rounders. a very good chance that they one day get at least one, if not two Vaneks
Of course, Vanek is a known commodity. Draft picks are a crap shoot. Just playing the devil’s advocate…
Forgive my ignorance (I planned to read up on the offer sheet rules, but I didn’t really think I’d need to), but when they say four first-round picks, do they mean their official 1 first-rounder every year for 4 years?
Ho-lee crap.
Square one meant only a handful of teams could spend as much as they want on anyone at anytime (e.g. your $70 million+ Rangers who didn’t make the playoffs) whereas other teams would try to manage lean payrolls. Under the current CBA, there is revenue sharing, a hard salary cap (The possibility of Lundqvist may break their cap is hilarious), and a hard salary floor (owners have to spend money - no more sub-$30 million payrolls from Minnesota).”
Yeah, I know….I’m just talking about awful, awful contracts worth waaaay to much being thrown around like they’re no big deal. If the cap stops going up yearly, this could come back to haunt the dumber GM’s, but that doesn’t seem very likely. So, essentially a fiscally responsible ownership team is now handicapped, just like they we’re before the lockout.
Bc you have to think, does Buffalo want to spend 7 mil on Vanek for seven years :X. Can they?
Plus there’s not only Tavares, there’s Stamkos and Doughty and a whole bunch of European defensemen next year that are great. :X the chances of getting someone awesome next year and the year after are very high.
and trades. always trades.
T__T Buffalo front-office must be crazy now.
dumber GM’s = Kevin Lowe
My last post was so full of grammatical errors, I’m not even going to try and fix them all here. My head is spinning, sorry guys, you’ll just have to try and bear with me.
I’m not even going to say anything. I’m trying to put up a post about it but I’m so stunned by the very THOUGHT of 7 mill for a guy like Vanek that I’m not getting very far.
Radio stations are reporting that they’ll match apparently. I would expect them to, as Quinn was pretty unequivocal on Monday, and that man is the master of double-speak. Well, that’s one contract we wouldn’t have to stress out about for a long time.
This isn’t just Lowe, on the verge of being evicted, setting the house on fire, is it?
I’d hate to be the next GM if this is the final straw for Lowe.
If the Sabers match that they are stuuuupppid. (mind you I think Oilers are asshats for offering that). Sabers still have the opportunity to be a decent team, but wasting THAT much of their cap on him is just dumb.
The Oilers went insane.
AND NO ONE HAS SIGNED TY CONKLIN!
Lowe has got to be the most hated man in Edmonton. People throw things at him during games. He and his train wreck ideas have screwed the team and the fans over in soooo many ways. These are Alberta fans……..they shoot you for shit like this. Trust me…..I lived there…….!
“This isn’t just Lowe, on the verge of being evicted, setting the house on fire, is it?”
I’m having flashbacks of Bobby Clarke signing Ryan Kesler to an offer sheet last year. He pissed everyone off, made the Canucks overpay for Kesler, then *poof* he was gone.
A fiscally responsible ownership team is only handicapped if by fiscally responsible you mean absolutely cheap. Again, there is a floor and a hard cap means that some of these players that can command big money won’t always end up with the “big teams.” I mean, the Edmonton Oilers - a “small market” team - are offering a boatload of money for Vanek. Martin Havlat get a ton of cash to go to Chicago, a notoriously cheap team after the lockout. We’re not at square one.
If the cap goes down drastically, I’m sure there will be a decision made about what to do with those who loaded themselves with gigantic contracts. Probably similar to what the Devils had to do last season - deal them away.
andrew, I agree with you that this is just so staggeringly unhealthy for the NHL. The huge contracts will come to bear down the road for the teams handing them out now, because the cap is based on revenues. The way things look right now, the revenue stream is kind of at it’s ceiling — we’re seeing how some traditionally rabid markets (Detroit) are pricing their fans out of attendance already, and I just don’t see the boom market of the Canadian franchises sustaining itself like this forever (see: Edmonton, already falling off the map) — so the GMs are deluding themselves if they think it’s just going to keep getting higher and higher. But yeah, it’s frustrating that fiscal responsibility is suddenly something teams are punished for. Gah.
If Buffalo matches it, will they all look good individually? Buffalo keeps him; Lowe, like, tried and stuff; and Vanek gets a TON of money.
Or do they all lose either way? Except Vanek, of course.
Of course, it goes without saying, there will always be stupidly large (both in length and amount) contracts. Teams overrate (and underrate) player’s worth in all sports. Just look at Alexei Yashin before his buyout. Or Rick DiPietro now.
Well, that’s one contract we wouldn’t have to stress out about for a long time.
Oh, I disagree. Any time you decide to pay a guy more than $7M per year for that long, that is a very stressful contract throughout. At the very very best scenario MAYBE Vanek could be worth it, but there are so many many things that could make this signing a shot straight through the foot.
I’m WAAAAAAAY on the side of letting Edmonton dig their own grave here. Take the picks and the freed-up money. There’s many better ways to gamble with that than on Tomas Vanek.
I think they lose either way. I think Buffalo would be stupid to pay him THAT much money.
“We’re not at square one.”
It’s all good John, I didn’t say we are at square one. I said we are headed back in that direction.
But, man, I sure hope you’re right.
If the Sabers match that they are stuuuupppid. (mind you I think Oilers are asshats for offering that). Sabers still have the opportunity to be a decent team, but wasting THAT much of their cap on him is just dumb.
Given salary escalation, by the time any great draft picks came of age, the Vanek thing probably wouldn’t look so ridiculous. Which is crazy, but it’s the way it is.
I’m WAAAAAAAY on the side of letting Edmonton dig their own grave here. Take the picks and the freed-up money. There’s many better ways to gamble with that than on Tomas Vanek
Especially considering that next year’s UFA market looks to be a really good and really deep one, and the draft has Pierre McGuire losing his mind already.
I guess this is why I am very unsympathic with you all when you start “the sky is falling” bits. I am an Edmonton fan. I know what the worst of it is. I have been dealing with shitty trades, bad mis-management, etc for years. I have numbed myself and when I see other fans getting all up in arms over something I would be happy to see our GM do since it would be mildly dumb instead of FUCKING INSANE like Lowe. :) You want to talk Zen-Hockey I am your woman.
Has it occurred to anyone what will happen if Lowe doesn’t get Vanek?
Say it with me: Parise.
Of course, it goes without saying, there will always be stupidly large (both in length and amount) contracts.
GMs are not famous for “learning lessons”. Just because GMs overpayed and overrated players last year, and the year before, and the year before that, doesn’t mean that’s what I’m doing right now! This time will be different! He got 30 goals! I must give him all our money!
You know who’s probably really peeved about this right now? The Penguins. All set to negotiate a long-term deal with Sid next week, and BAM! Suddenly Sid’s like, “Wait, if Vanek’s getting $7M, let’s reconsider that $8M we were talking about…”
Has it occurred to anyone what will happen if Lowe doesn’t get Vanek?
Say it with me: Parise.
If Lowe wants to spend $50M over 7 years on Zach Parise, I’ll be happy to see what the Devils can do with their draft picks.
“Say it with me: Parise.”
And that traitor Boxworthy is going to be rich, I tell you! Rich! MUWAHAHAHAH!!!
…something I would be happy to see our GM do since it would be mildly dumb instead of FUCKING INSANE like Lowe. :)
Hee hee.
If Lowe wants to spend $50M over 7 years on Zach Parise, I’ll be happy to see what the Devils can do with their draft picks.
Nice Schnookie….nice…..
as I just told Mags….the only thing that Lowe could do now that would shock me is actually make a good decision. Which we ALL know isn’t going to happen.
If Lowe wants to spend $50M over 7 years on Zach Parise, I’ll be happy to see what the Devils can do with their draft picks.
As much as I worry about Zach leaving, I’m with you on this one.
As much as I worry about Zach leaving, I’m with you on this one.
He’s a good player and all, and I’d love for him to be a Devil forever, but he’s not exactly a “cornerstone of a franchise” type guy. Although I always thought they vastly overrated Ryan Smyth, too, so who am I to judge what kind of player Oilers brass wants to make into the foundation of their future?
the only thing that Lowe could do now that would shock me is actually make a good decision.
I’m not sure my fragile body would handle that.
You know what I find really annoying? That this kind of thing sticks to a GM put not a player. This is really skanky of Vanek to agree to the offer (sure, sure, we’d all take the money, but seriously, after all the hue and cry over Briere, Drury and Gomez getting over paid, does no one have the decency to say $7 million is more than I need to play hockey?) but if Buffalo matches, and Vanek playes like a superstar, no one is ever going to hold it against him that he tried to bolt for more money. I think Vanek should, regardless of where he ends up, have to wear a scarlet SFW (slag-faced whore).
Oilers brass wants to make into the foundation of their future?
Schnookie? I think clearly there is no future actually considered when Oilers brass makes any decisions, I assumed that would be perfectly clear by now.
I’m having flashbacks of Bobby Clarke signing Ryan Kesler to an offer sheet last year. He pissed everyone off, made the Canucks overpay for Kesler, then *poof* he was gone.
andrew, I meant to comment earlier that you’re so right about this! That’s exactly what I was thinking, too!
I think clearly there is no future actually considered when Oilers brass makes any decisions, I assumed that would be perfectly clear by now.
Right, oil! Sorry. I should have realized that “future” for Lowe means “surviving the day”.
Well, it’s almost time for aforementioned press conference on Buffalo’s end.
Great way to kill a part of my day waiting for a phone interview which was moved from 11 today to 3 PM. I could have been done with it by now!
He’s a good player and all, and I’d love for him to be a Devil forever, but he’s not exactly a “cornerstone of a franchise” type guy.
Zach: I say, though, look I have a certificate that says I’m a cornerstone franchise player!
Boxworthy: Very good, sir. Please sir, read the piece of paper more closely. I think you’ll find that’s a flyer advertizing the opporutnity to become part of the Cornerstone Ice Cream Parlor national franchise team.
Zach: *lower lip starts to tremble* Does this mean I’m not a superstar?
Boxworthy: I’m afraid so, sir. Shall we cheer the master up with a little round of Guess The Revenge?
Zach: *claps hands and jumps up and down like a schoolgirl* Oh, yes, I ever so much love Guessing the Revenge!
At this point I’m starting to think Lowe’s trying to do everything wrong in attempt to get kicked out before the Oilers fans storm the building and skewer him alive or something. Honestly.
I should have realized that “future” for Lowe means “surviving the day”.
HA! Brilliant! My “ha ha” award is coming your way, Schnookie!
This is really skanky of Vanek to agree to the offer (sure, sure, we’d all take the money, but seriously, after all the hue and cry over Briere, Drury and Gomez getting over paid, does no one have the decency to say $7 million is more than I need to play hockey?) but if Buffalo matches, and Vanek playes like a superstar, no one is ever going to hold it against him that he tried to bolt for more money. I think Vanek should, regardless of where he ends up, have to wear a scarlet SFW (slag-faced whore).
I can’t hold it against him, because I know I’d sign that in a second. There are two options…he sucks and matching it is a huge mistake, or he actually turns into a real star and by the end of the 7 years, he’s a good deal. I guess we’ll all find out soon enough.
At this point I’m starting to think Lowe’s trying to do everything wrong in attempt to get kicked out before the Oilers fans storm the building and skewer him alive or something.
Oil pointed this out to me, but apparently in Alberta people get shot over this sort of thing. How come Lowe is still alive eh?
HA! Brilliant! My “ha ha” award is coming your way, Schnookie!
I’m so excited!
And my award goes to Pookie for that Boxworthy/Zach dialog. “Guess the Revenge”! :^::::::::::::::::::
[I had to edit this comment because MY COMPUTER ATE IT THE FIRST TIME I POSTED IT. Not cool, computer.]
Pookie, that was one of the funnier comments I have ever read here.
Bravo.
I think Vanek should, regardless of where he ends up, have to wear a scarlet SFW (slag-faced whore).
Yeah, I’m with Meg on this one. Vanek’s the pawn here. If we started handing out scarlet SFWs this liberally, it would be hard to keep track of who the real asshats are.
How come Lowe is still alive eh?
Oh, how many times I’ve asked myself this.
Oh, Pookie, I’m pissed at Thomas. Are you fucking kidding me? You’re 23-years-old, you little assy punk. You’re good but 50 million dollars? What the hell are you smoking?
This just in: Sabres are matching.
I can’t wait to see how this goes over in the lockerroom.
How come Lowe is still alive eh?
I am pretty sure he has security guards. If I remember correctly.
Sabres matched. Let’s hope he proves worth it.
Oh the fucking sabers. Bringing their stupidity level as low as the Oilers….how disappointing….I thought they were better then that.
I am pretty sure he has security guards. If I remember correctly.
They haven’t turned against him yet?
I can’t wait to see how this goes over in the lockerroom.
Crunchy says, “Vanek, you can BURN IN HELL!”
Vanek, of course, can’t hear him because he’s listening to Nickelback on his ermine-trimmed earbuds.
Eh…I think it was the right move on the Sabres part.
Press conference right now. Darcy sounds a little pissed at Kevin Lowe. I guess they spoke on the phone. Meow.
Yeah, I’m with Meg on this one. Vanek’s the pawn here. If we started handing out scarlet SFWs this liberally, it would be hard to keep track of who the real asshats are.
I’d want to see what Buffalo had already offered Vanek before I decide he’s a pawn in this mess. Sure, I’d probably take the money too, but I’d feel like a slag-faced whore doing it. Because I’d know I’d be giving up the excellent chance Buffalo has to win the Cup in order to get a bit more pocket change. I’m someone who will take less money and fewer professional perks if it means I get more time for the things I love (like spending time with friends and family, and having the time to engage in my favorite hobbies). I don’t understand why guys don’t weigh the opportunity to win with a good team more heavily when considering their contracts.
Oh the fucking sabers. Bringing their stupidity level as low as the Oilers….how disappointing….I thought they were better then that.
Admit it oil — you were just hoping you’d get Vanek! :P
(And see, Buffalo fans, how letting Drury and Briere go means the team can easily match the offer sheet everyone KNEW Vanek was going to be getting? I gotta say, for all that Vanek’s not worth this, he’s worth it more than Drury and Briere were.)
“Oh the fucking sabers. Bringing their stupidity level as low as the Oilers….how disappointing….I thought they were better then that.”
They have to Oil. I’d bet you dollars to donuts that no one in the Sabres front office really wants to match it, but they simply have to at this point. The fallout in Buffalo would be catastrophic if they let Vanek go.
Let’s hope he proves worth it.
If he does a Briere/Drury/Gomez he probably won’t be lynched. Not that they were worth the money.
Meg, I do too. It’s possible that by the time Vanek’s a couple years