How cruel (and yet hilarious) to give us a Rangers game on this UFA week. We’d be grossed out, but after consulting our “15 To Remember” schedule, we’re endlessly delighted to see that the Devils won this one 6-1. Heh. (Of course, one can only wonder how much Gomez has to do with that. The slag-faced whore.)
FIRST PERIOD
19:47 Doc is talking, a bit more graphically than we’d like, about how Aaron Ward has been puking his guts out with the flu.
19:11 Ah, the famous “It’s a pastry shop — full of turnovers” comment from Chico. He doesn’t claim credit for it, though, and says it’s an old player expression. Perhaps in Chico’s crazy world that’s something players say a lot; we’re a lot more inclined to believe players say things like, “The turnovers were giving 110%” and “Those pucks were just trying to be the best turned-over pucks they could possibly be.”
18:20 Some Ranger named Adam Hall gets a nice chance on a strangely-developing 2-on-1, and Marty makes one of those “fuck you, Ranger fans!” flashy glove saves. Heh. He’s probably practicing his “fuck you” body language for next season’s Ranger games already.
17:38 From what Doc and Chico are saying, neither one of these teams has been doing anything worth watching in the weeks leading up to this matchup. Lundqvist is on the bench after a game the Rangers gave up 9 goals in (For reals? Why don’t we remember this?) and the Devils have lost three straight one-goal games.
17:09 Dowd gets called for hooking just as Chico is saying the Devils need to stop taking bad penalties. He goes so far as to say that the Devils recent penchant for spending a lot of time in the box is “breaking up the flow and consistency of their game.” Pookie: “Yeah. Flow and consistency. That’s what people tune into the Devils for.”
15:01 As we watch Kevin Weekes, looking in net like he’s fully qualified to sit on the Devils bench next year, make an unsteady save on a weak shot, Pookie declares, “You know how dead to me Gomez is already? When they said his name earlier in this period, I was like, ‘Wait, when did he play for us?’”
14:37 The Ranger fans cheer when Ward slides to break up a Gionta-and-Gomez two-on-one. Of course, Gio was the puck-carrier and Gomer the “shooter”, so it was an easy one to defend. And Gomer’s a slag-faced whore, so it’s not like he was going to score or anything.
14:27 As the EGG line does nothing of note in the offensive zone, we hilariously realize we’re cheering for Weekes to do well.
13:58 Zach can be seen squeezing his stick into sawdust (graphite powder?) — JP is in the house tonight. Doc’s mention of JP being in the building turns into a discussion of how Ty Gretzky is currently at Shattuck. We collapse, needless to say, into paroxysms of laughter. (Oho — here’s where the rumor started that Sid lived at the Parises when he was at Shattuck. We wondered where we’d gotten that from, and it seems this was the night, as Chico cheerfully declares Sid was Zach’s little replacement when Zach went away to college.)
11:55 After kneeing Whitey (and getting called for it), Prucha gets a faceful of skateblade for his efforts. As he goes to the dressing room to get the two halves of his face sewn back together, Ozolinsh serves his penalty. Ozolinsh? Seriously? He was still a Ranger at this point?
10:59 Raffie watches the puck go past him at the point and lead to an odd-man rush for the PK unit. We are not sorry to know he’s gone.
10:27 Hm. Oduya also lets the puck go past him at the point. See? He’s just like Raffie but costs a sixth as much!
9:44 After Chico gives the Devils futile power play a rating of “One. At the best. That was not a good power play.” on a scale of one to five, Pookie says in anticipation of next season, “I like the thought of Clarkson on the power play instead of Brylin.” Schnookie, aghast, says, “You don’t like Brylin on the PP? Her?”
Chico adds after a few moments, “You know what the best thing about that Devils power play was? They didn’t get scored on.” We force a bitter laugh. Yeah, November and December were not great months for the Devils last year.
8:59 The name Kasparaitis comes up during the course of the play-by-play. Pookie: “Kasparaitis?? Why are they showing us a game to remember from seven years ago?”
8:11 Pando shanks a half-decent chance in the high slot. How do we score six in this one? And how do the Rangers only score one?
6:54 Doc tells us the Devils were outhit in their last game 18-5 by Detroit. We’d force a bitter laugh but we’re too busy whimpering.
5:47 As the Rangers connect on their umpteenth rink-length pass to release a forward in behind the Devils D, we decide we don’t have to look too closely for signs of why Julien was fired.
3:10 Both of these teams made the playoffs? For reals? The Rangers just gave up a two-on-one… to the Madden line.
2:22 Patty gets sprung streaking through the crease, but because he’s Patty he barely waves his stick at the puck. Strangely, a Ranger defenseman seemed not to pay attention to the scouting report on these guys and actually hooks Patty during this affair and gets called for it. Yay. Power play.
1:09 Chico is lambasting the Devils’ point men on the PP. He explains how, on successive possessions, the Devils killed their own man advantage by letting the puck go down the length of the ice. “First it was Langenbrunner,” Chico says, “Then Rafalski couldn’t do the… couldn’t get the…” And he splutters into silence at how bad Raffie was. Six million a year, Detroit. Have fun with that.
0:41 Straka, also not one to pay attention to the scouting report that Patty is harmless, takes a hooking penalty on a flat-footed Elias behind the Rangers net.
0:31 No WAY! Patty makes those two guys who took penalties on him look better and actually scores with the two-man advantage. Pookie: “Who knew Patty scored this year?”
0:00 After what Chico describes as one of the best periods of Devils-Rangers hockey all season to date (which is very telling about how lousy this series was at the beginning of last season), the Devils have a 1-0 lead and we beg to differ with Chico.
SECOND PERIOD
19:14 As if to apologize for the sucktitude of the first twenty minutes, the Devils come out flying, while still on the PP, to start this period.
19:00 Rachunek is killing the penalty — go Rachunek!
18:54 Weekes juggles a not-so-amazing shot. Hm. We’re not sure how excited we are about the Weekesification of the Devils anymore.
18:13 We’re quiet at IPB Manor. Pookie says, “I’m sorry there’s nothing to say about this game.” Schnookie: “Well, we’ve seen it before. And so far it sucks.”
16:50 We are discussing how we think this is the game that had the lengthy review of a Patrik Elias goal that wasn’t originally counted and ultimately caused them to have to re-play about five minutes of the third period. There is some belief that perhaps Zach also had a goal go to a lengthy review. Pookie says that she likes when Zach’s goals go to official review because “he always looks so dashing. Laughing and looking around all confidently. Until he shoots a quick, nervous look, chewing on his lip nervously, wiping away sweat from his brow. Then he realizes the camera’s on him and says, ‘Brave face! Put on a brave face!’”
15:31 This game might not be one Pookie remembers well, but the date in history is one she recalls fondly. She suddenly chirps, “Hey! I think I had this day off!” Good for her.
14:21 In an attempt to make his teammates who have been hooking Patty tonight look better, Malik high sticks that constant scoring threat, John Madden.
13:41 Pookie says, as the power play fumbles along, “Oh, I remember this game now. It’s the one where Rafalski handcuffs Gomez on the power play with a bad pass. No, that was every game.”
13:33 Wha-huh? How did we not remember this? We have that rarest of things: a second power play goal, this one a brutal deflection by Hossa of a Langenbrunner shot from the point. Doc has been harping on how much ice time Ozolinsh has been getting tonight, and remarks that now Ozolinsh and Hossa have deflected shots into their own net. “It’s not meant to be a criticism,” he softens, and Pookie finishes for him, “But I’m criticizing them. They’re awful.”
12:37 Jagr lays a beautiful pass to Prucha, who gets between the Devils D and walks in alone on Marty pretty much from the blueline. 2-1 now, Devils.
11:08 Jagr is completely losing his mind at center ice after trying to corkscrew Madden in the neutral zone. Dude, shut up and get in the box. Chico tries to apologize for Jagr and say it’s an iffy call, but it’s clearly a penalty. CLEARLY.
10:37 We get a lengthy close-up of Gomez just as Pookie says, “I can’t even fathom someone wanting to play on a team captained by Jagr.”
9:55 Why in the heck did the Rangers let a quality goaltender like Weekes go? Because he gives up shit goals like that one to Brylin. Yowza. (Great effort by Zach to force a turnover right in the slot. You can almost see him glancing nervously up to JP in the stands, hoping his never-say-die sticktoitiveness there was noticed.)
9:24 As a fight breaks out between Hollweg and Hale, Pookie says, “Wait, did I say I wanted the season to start?” Hale gets an extra interference minor.
7:22 The Rangers are really awful in this game — with Marty swimming in the blue paint, not a single Ranger can get a stick on the loose puck. We are in agreement that we will be very disappointed if they don’t suck next year.
6:12 As Gomer wheels pointlessly through the neutral zone Doc tells us how “the number 23 on his back reminds us of his birthday on the 23rd of December, and the time he scored a hat trick in this building on that day his rookie year.” That birthday hat trick at MSG is like Gomer’s LLWS — we are immeasurably tired of hearing about it.
3:54 Gio sort of gently runs into Weekes; Zach did the same thing last time the Devils were at this end of the ice (about a week ago, it feels like). We hope Weekes isn’t holding a grudge for this. (And those were probably the only two times all season the Devils crashed the net hard. It’s nice to see they got that done in just one game.)
3:34 Gio gets called for tripping right off the faceoff in the Rangers zone. What a smart penalty!
2:41 It is almost as silent at The World’s Most Famous Arena (or, as Pookie just called it, “The World’s Most Fabulous Arena”) as it is tonight at IPB Manor. They’re not even booing, this game is so bad.
1:21 Chico walks us through a highlight of Zach flubbing an attempt at getting to a puck in his defensive zone by saying, “As much as Zach’s game is about his offense, it’s really built on his… tenacity.” Schnookie: “I was afraid he was going to say ‘defense’, at which point I’d have to shoot myself.”
0:30 Zach does his best Jagr impression and takes a stupid penalty after Kaspairitis “snookers” him into taking a swipe at him after a little jostling at center ice. Pookie: “Zach hates being snookered. He specifically had Boxworthy deliver notes to all 29 other teams that said, ‘Master Zach Parise does not enjoy being snookered.’ It seems that plan backfired.”
0:05 Roszival gets called for interfering with Madden, and Madden gets called for diving. We weren’t really paying attention, so we don’t know how valid that call is.
0:00 We get a shot of Julien at the buzzer and Pookie notes he actually looked a bit like a catfish. No one’ll ever know the difference when Lou gets our new coach in that Lundqvist deal!
THIRD PERIOD
18:11 After getting scads of amazing scoring chances on their power play (all bested by a very sharp Marty), the Rangers manage to really idiotically pinch at the blue line leading to a two-on-one from just about center ice by Zach and Sarge. Zach slips a pass through the sprawling defenseman and Sarge chips the puck on his backhand past Weekes to open the lead to three. Pookie, as Zach: “Snooker me once, shame on you. Snooker me twice, shame on me.”
17:33 Chico regales us with Gomer’s assy whining about not being able to wear 11 when he was a rookie. He then ponders Gomer retiring a Devil and getting that #23 retired. Heh. Slag-faced whore. We are suddenly very eager to see how quickly Lou reassigns that number.
14:42 Patty gently shoulders Prucha down at the Rangers blueline and Prucha drops like a ragdoll. What is up with that? Has he no sense of pride? Prucha, that was Patrik Elias.
13:03 In discussing how sad Pando must be now that his BFF Gomer is gone, Schnookie suggests he’s like that little kid in the Arctic in the third of the “His Dark Materials” trilogy, the one with the little dried fish in place of his lost daemon. We both laugh, until we’re suddenly struck with how terribly sad that is. Further discussion of who in the NHL is like which characters in those books leads to the conclusion that Slats is that polar bear king with the wooden dummy daemon and the flies coming out of his mouth when he speaks, and Lou, with his beautiful fur coat and golden monkey daemon, is like Mrs. Coulter. In that small children can’t resist him. Or something.
11:50 Mr. Delay Of Game, Johnny Oduya, without much pressure on him, flings the puck into the stands. Nice! He’s just like Raffie but costs a sixth as much!
11:31 Chico assures us that he spoke with JP Parise this evening, and heard from JP that Jordan Parise, after seeing Marty up close and personal at training camp, has declared Brodeur “a phenom.” We’re glad to hear it, because we weren’t so sure that Brodeur kid was the real deal.
9:48 MSG sounds like a haunted cavern or something, with only faint, ghostly whistles floating through the massive space. It’s always a delight to see it like that!
9:02 No shit. The Rangers were leading the division this late in the season? And Tampa was in 13th place? Chico informs us that, even though they’re in 10th place right now, “It’s going to be hard to keep the Penguins out of the playoffs this year.” Pookie: “It’s not going to be hard to knock them out of the playoffs.”
8:00 Doc informs us that many of the World’s Greatest Fans are trickling out to beat the traffic.
6:15 It is really amazing that the score is so lopsided in the Devils’ favor, because they’ve barely had the puck tonight. And when they’ve had it, they’ve not kept it for long. They capitalized on chances they got, took advantage of some weak goaltending, and have let the Rangers take care of themselves.
6:05 A closeup of Zach shows him working his Larssen eyebrow exercises furiously. It’s like a jungle gym for his eyebrows.
5:01 Patty roofs the puck under the crossbar on a great bang-bang play, but it pops out so quickly that play continues. Patty raises his arms, but without conviction, so Chico wonders if maybe it wasn’t a goal. The play continues on… and on… and Doc posits that maybe, with the score already pretty much out of reach, no one will bother reviewing that. The few Ranger fans left in the building are hoping so.
The clock continues winding down without a whistle, and Chico tells us the truck reviewed the play and confirmed it’s a goal. This is hysterical, how the game keeps going and going and none of this play is going to count. It was funny the first time, and it’s funny now. With the clock down to 1:42, the Devils finally touch on an icing, and we add over three minutes back to the clock in a game that is miles out of reach for the Rangers.
You know, in hindsight the officials really should have taken the lack of an eyeroll from Patty on that play as a sign that he’d just scored. Because he always makes it abundantly clear when he’s missed a wide-open shot.
3:05 Chico also finds this situation hilarious, as he giggles, “Three minutes to go in the game — where have I seen this before?”
2:29 Because Rangers fans are truly the Best Fans On Earth, Doc comments, “It has the sound of a practice now, doesn’t it?” Chico responds, “With how many people are left here, it has the look of a practice too.”
1:48 Travis and Zach zip into the zone on a wide-spread two-on-one, Zach sneaks the puck in past Weekes, and Weekes tries to hide the puck from the officials. We go to another video review, and in a shot of Zach skating down the length of the bench we get a hilarious view of Patty reclining like he’s ready to start stripping off his equipment, order up a snifter of brandy from his creature-of-affairs Oysterworthy, and puff away on a cigar. Ladies and gentlemen, our Captain.
We get prolonged Zach footage as he and Pando chortle away at the bench. Zach was still missing several of his bottom teeth at this point, which seems odd. Those teeth were knocked out in October; Pookie suggests it took so long to replace them because Zach was waiting for the most expensive material in the world that still looks like teeth. A lot of geologists had to plumb a lot of mine depths to find a suitably enamel-ish gemstone.
0:00 Okay, we might have complained from start to finish, but this was, indeed, a game to remember. And seriously, Gomer? You’re a slag-faced whore.
Weekes juggles a not-so-amazing shot. Hm. We’re not sure how excited we are about the Weekesification of the Devils anymore.
No, you should probably be more excited about the Devilification of Kevin Weekes.
Oh, good point, Earl! You really always do have the stats (or, in this case, brilliant ideas) to back up even the craziest scheme! You should definitely look into marketing your statbitty (and quick-witted) blog A-Team services.
I’m way behind, but if someone finds somewhere to buy Power Play can they please let me know? This sounds like something that would entertain my husband and me to a ridiculous degree. Just ridiculous.
Kate, last year Max (I think – it was somebody) came to an agreement with the team the morning of his arbitration hearing so try not to panic if Derek’s date gets close. Theoretically this shouldn’t happen since he and Paetsch are our only aribitration cases whereas last year we had something ridiculous like 13 but it’s Darcy (slow and methodical) so you never know.
Lundqvist is on the bench after a game the Rangers gave up 9 goals in (For reals? Why don’t we remember this?)
I remember this. Lundqvist buried my fantasy team during the first half of the season. Man, he was awful. I was actually really surprised when he got a Vezina nod because he was just that bad.
We get a lengthy close-up of Gomez just as Pookie says, “I can’t even fathom someone wanting to play on a team captained by Jagr.”
Seriously. This boggles my mind.
Shhhh, Heather! We want GMs to tender Hank an offer sheet, remember? Let’s pretend he was phenomenal all season long! Praising the Rangers’ goalie now can only help bring them down in the future.
Thanks for the game diary, Ookies! I think maybe now I’ve worked up enough courage to stomach watching/diarizing Drury and his hat trick against the Rangers. Seriously, did the Rangers go through these “X To Remember” schedules when they were choosing free agents and say “yes, we need to sign these guys because then their fans will really have to suffer”?
Oh, right, Gambler! I forgot! I’m sure Lundy has nothing to do with my fantasy team crashing and burning. It was probably mismanagement on my part.
I didn’t Tivo the Sabres/Rangers game so I can’t watch it, but I’m feeling better about the whole thing so I’m going to try to get back on board next week.
It was probably mismanagement on my part.
Mismanagement is always, always to blame. It’s true, Bucky Gleason told me so.
As far as the Sabres/Rangers game goes, there’s still my game diary to look forward to! You’ll feel like you were there, I promise.
You’re a slag-faced whore.
Holy shit ouch.
The Rangers are so wrong. I think it is a real testimony to the quality of your game diaries (and also how much more I have managed to learn about hockey in a month without hockey), that I found this hilarious. When I first started reading these I coldn’t really make heads or tails of them. Also (being the hockey-fan poser that I am) it’s possible I know more about the Devils than I do about the Sabres at this point. I was talking to a friend about my hatred of the Rangers and he was very confused. He tells me that as a Sabres fan, hatred should be reserved for Toronto and Philly. I told him NONSENSE, I HATE the Rangers. He agreed that the Rangers are certainly unsavory but that it made no sense to hate them more than the Leafs. I kept insisting that the Rangers are the most loathsome of all the teams We went round and round like this until I finally admitted that I get most of my hockey information from a Devils blog, at which point he started eying me suspiciously. Fuck it. I’m with you guys. I’d rather make out for HOURS with the Leafs than surrender my hatred of the Rangers.
Gambler, I commend you for your Game to Remember dedication, but I’m still worried for you. If it gets too intense, JUST STOP. I’m definitely NOT ready. I hear there is a game coming up when both the captains are out, so someone give me a heads up for that one.
I’d rather make out for HOURS with the Leafs than surrender my hatred of the Rangers.
Katebits, this is brave and noble of you, but ewwww. No need to be vulgar. Save these stunts for Fear Factor.
Lundqvist is on the bench after a game the Rangers gave up 9 goals in (For reals? Why don’t we remember this?)
Unfortunately, it was against Toronto. Thus as a Sabres fan, I was actually left wishing the score was reversed.
Kate, I tend to agree with your friend that the Leafs and Flyers are more loathsome than the Rangers. But I have a lot of hate in my heart and am happy to spread it around.
But I have a lot of hate in my heart and am happy to spread it around.
Hearhear.
We’re not going to have to out-hate each other will we?
No way, don’t steal the hate, SHARE IT! (besides, you’d win)
But I have a lot of hate in my heart and am happy to spread it around.
My hate comes in a limited amount, but I’m look forward to some serious hate reallocation on the eventual day when Hasek and Chelios retire.
I’d rather make out for HOURS with the Leafs than surrender my hatred of the Rangers.
UGH! So unclean.
But I have a lot of hate in my heart and am happy to spread it around.
Hearhear.
Seconded! There are times when I’m pretty sure I have enough hate for all 29 other teams (and you’ve seen the special brand of “love” I have for the Devils, so you can imagine the vortex of negativity I am when that kind of mood strikes…). And Katebits, I think what you’ll learn is that a lot of the hate is cyclical. There was a time, during the ’00-’02 seasons, when the highest level of hate for Devils fans was for the Leafs, after two years of nasty playoff matchups with them. And the Ranger hate is, at this very moment, in laser focus. While I recognize there are a lot of vibrant, awesome rivalries in the league, the one that is the absolutely, two-way meanest right now is, in my opinion, Devils-Rangers. It started last year with the sort of obligatory fake broadcaster-bred “Hee hee — these two teams have such a great rivalry” stuff, and after 5 games against them, the Devils fans, broadcasters and players were just like, “This isn’t even fun anymore. This isn’t good hate. This isn’t an enjoyable rivalry. This is flat-out, steely-eyed, bald-faced loathing.” And we still had to play three more games against them. It’s truly and utterly awful right now between these teams, and the free agent signings so far seem to indicate things aren’t going to get any better next season. So basically my point is this: I normally really love a good rivalry game, like Devils-Flyers, or, yes, Devils-Leafs (next year Devs-Senators should be fun), but when you get the Devils and the Rangers onto the same ice surface there’s not a single thing about it that’s fun. Until it’s over, and even then, it has to be something like 6-1 — anything less than that just has us grousing, “The league really has to do something about this stupid unbalanced schedule…”
I think what you’ll learn is that a lot of the hate is cyclical.
It’s true. While the Leafs-Senators rivalry have a lot of history to it, as of late it’s just become tiresome because it hasn’t really been a ‘rivalry’ so much as the same old story–the Senators kick their butts during the regular season and the playoffs blahblahblah historycakes.
The more interesting true rivalry now is Senators-Sabres, that’s where you can expect fireworks instead of “Oh look. It’s you…AGAIN”.
While the Leafs-Senators rivalry have a lot of history to it, as of late it’s just become tiresome because it hasn’t really been a ‘rivalry’ so much as the same old story
Yeah, that became a problem for the Devils-Rangers rivalry during that 7-year stretch where they missed the playoffs. The Devils were unbeaten in something like 30 straight games against them for a while there. Man, what I’d give to go back to those “It’s you… AGAIN” times.
(Strangely, the Flyers thing with the Devils is nowhere near as bad. The two teams, no matter how bad the Flyers were last year, have been really evenly matched looking at the regular-season record between them, and they’ve met three times in the last 12 years in the playoffs, two of those meetings in the ECF. And yet… it’s still fun. So why do we have to suffer the soul-crushing yuckiness of the current Devils-Rangers crap? Whyyyyyy?????)
Also (being the hockey-fan poser that I am) it’s possible I know more about the Devils than I do about the Sabres at this point.
I meant to comment on this earlier — Katebits, you have no idea how proud I am to hear this!
The more interesting true rivalry now is Senators-Sabres, that’s where you can expect fireworks instead of “Oh look. It’s you…AGAIN”.
I agree. People hype Buffalo/Toronto as the rivalry, but IMO, it falls into the “you AGAIN” category.
Buffalo/Philly has the potential to fall into the hatred category…its wobbling on the brink right now.
I’d rather make out for HOURS with the Leafs than surrender my hatred of the Rangers.
Katebits, I’m so proud of you for seeing the light!
And I have to admit, I’m so glad we can be playing such an influential role in your fandom. Every new fan should learn all they need to know from a Devils blog! Hee hee! Seriously, I’m so glad you’re liking the diaries. I think Schnookie did an awesome job with this one!
Pronger my thighs burn for you…
*snicker*
Don’t mind me I’m going to sleep. :D
‘Night Jordi!
Wow, IPB is a terribly unpopular place to hang out today, isn’t it?
Sorry, had to work. Just got back. Bad day at the ER. Going to make dinner now. Will catch up.
I actually have work today…what’s with that?
Pronger my thighs burn for you…
STOP MAKING MY BRAIN MELT.
I should be working, too, but I just saw on TSN.com that the Oilers have signed Vanek to an offer sheet!!
I’d rather make out for HOURS with the Leafs than surrender my hatred of the Rangers.
T___T the Leafs, are actually kind of hot.
the Senators kick their butts during the regular season and the playoffs blahblahblah historycakes.
Bc as (I think) the sole Leaf fan, must defend my team – hahaha I seem to remember Sherry, that the season series was tied? Shootout wins/losses counted bc a lot of those were ties.
Schnookie :D I woke up late.
wtf ? 7 year, 50 mil?!
Oilers offer to Vanek is $50 million for 7 years.
What. The. Fuck.
I just saw on TSN.com that the Oilers have signed Vanek to an offer sheet!!
ARE YOU SERIOUS?????
Did they specifically pick the guy whose team has spent NOTHING on free agents so far so they wouldn’t have to actually worry about the offer sheet not being matched?
$50M for 7 years? Sheesh. Take the draft picks, Darcy.
Sabres are calling a press conference on the Vanek situation. 12:30 EST.
That can’t be good!
Can we put Buffalo on suicide watch?
I had a joke about this with Earl last night. It’s not funny now…
that’s four first rounders. FOUR!
i assume they plan on using edm + ana? Unless they can’t use Anaheim’s.
Hey i just heard on TV, Hasek could gain 2 mil in bonuses really?
“$50M for 7 years? Sheesh. Take the draft picks, Darcy.”
I’m with you Schnookie, but the way things have gone over the past week. If Darcy does that, he’ll be tarred and feathered.
Hey i just heard on TV, Hasek could gain 2 mil in bonuses really?
You didn’t know?
Okay, poll T__T if you were Darcy, would you take the four first rounders?
THAT’S A WHOLE LOT OF CHANCES TO LAND TAVARES!
I sort of feel like when a GM is publicly as desperate, pathetic, incompetent and spiraling-out-of-control as Lowe is right now, he should have his license revoked. He shouldn’t be allowed to mess with the fortunes of teams other than his own.
Nope, Mags, just thought it was 2 mil base.
Over 7 million a year…Jesus, Lowe, Vanek is not going to turn the Oilers into a winning team.
If I was Vanek though, i’d TOTALLY sign this offer sheet :X I can’t blame him. That’s more money than briere.
$50M for 7 years?
Holy crap if this is true I better never hear the Oilers brass complain about inflationary salaries ever ever ever ever again.
And seriously, for a team with as much young talent as Edmonton has been stockpiling, I’m not sure if this is a precedent that Lowe should be that eager to set.
This is just rediculous. Lowe is offering $7+ million for a guy who has had one really good year, and not a whole lot of gonads come playoff time. Isn’t this why we went through the lockout in the first place? If fucktard GM’s can still pull this kind of stunt, not to mention the crazy Drury/Gomez signings, it appears we’re headed back to square one.
It’s 10 million for the first two due to the signing bonus? That’s just so damn crazy.
Oh. My. God.
What in the name of everything holy is going on at the Sabres front offices?
And seriously, for a team with as much young talent as Edmonton has been stockpiling, I’m not sure if this is a precedent that Lowe should be that eager to set.
Salient point. Heh.
I’m under the impression all the draft picks have to be the team’s own. So they’ll be really, really good draft picks coming from Edmonton.
What in the name of everything holy is going on at the Sabres front offices?
This isn’t coming from the Sabres front offices. This is because the Oilers are stupid/desperate enough to make the offer, and Vanek’s assy enough to take it.
Should the Sabres not match it, though, you can start wondering what’s going on there…
Good lord.
I say Buffalo takes the four first rounders :X. There’s no way they want to match that! :X that’s crazy!
Or maybe they will :X before Buffalo News rips into them for losing both captains AND Vanek.
:X Crap. he’d make more than Iginla!
But the thing is, the Oil can afford to give up a few, bc they still have Anaheim’s 1st, 2nd rounders from the Pronger trade.
Vanek’s assy enough to take it.
:x I would sign it. That would pay me more than IGINLA!
This is just rediculous. Lowe is offering $7+ million for a guy who has had one really good year
It should also be pointed out that he had that really good year on a team stocked with talent. I mean, everyone in Buffalo had 30 goals last year. So it’s hard to imagine what a guy like Vanek brings to the table all by his lonesome.
“That would pay me more than IGINLA!”
More than most players in the league.
Let me be the first to say it: Vanek, you slag-faced whore!
But the thing is, the Oil can afford to give up a few, bc they still have Anaheim’s 1st, 2nd rounders from the Pronger trade.
Of course, Anaheim’s picks are nowhere near as good as Edmonton’s own will be! :P
This isn’t coming from the Sabres front offices. This is because the Oilers are stupid/desperate enough to make the offer, and Vanek’s assy enough to take it.
I get that. I just meant that what is the reason for the delay in signing these free agents? Free agency is something that’s kind of known about ahead of time, its not like its a spontaneous thing.
Regier and Quinn did say that they are keeping Vanek in last week’s presser, but they’re going to get tarred and feathered no matter what decision they make.
I need a cookie and am going to look for one.
:x I would sign it.
Me too. In a second.
Don’t get me wrong, Vanek is incredibly talented. But I imagine my problems with him are similar to the -ookies’ issues with Gomer. He tends to coast on his natural talent sometimes. You just watch him lazily skating through the neutral zone sometimes and you want to slap him!
Let me be the first to say it: Vanek, you slag-faced whore!
Now, now Pookie. At least HIS signing brings the Sabres back 4 first rounders and a heck of a chance to land Tavares or Stamkos.
:D Maybe he’s just slag faced. I mean, if Lowe offered me that :X I would take it.
This isn’t coming from the Sabres front offices. This is because the Oilers are stupid/desperate enough to make the offer, and Vanek’s assy enough to take it.
I get that. I just meant that what is the reason for the delay in signing these free agents? Free agency is something that’s kind of known about ahead of time, its not like its a spontaneous thing.
The delay? Simple. The player has to agree to a contract. With all the rumors about offer sheets flying around, there was no earthly reason for Vanek to sign a contract without waiting to see what would happen first. What, people want Darcy to forge his signature?
The messageboards are going to flip out, and it’s so so so stupid, because this? Not Regier’s fault.
If fucktard GM’s can still pull this kind of stunt, not to mention the crazy Drury/Gomez signings, it appears we’re headed back to square one.
Square one meant only a handful of teams could spend as much as they want on anyone at anytime (e.g. your $70 million+ Rangers who didn’t make the playoffs) whereas other teams would try to manage lean payrolls. Under the current CBA, there is revenue sharing, a hard salary cap (The possibility of Lundqvist may break their cap is hilarious), and a hard salary floor (owners have to spend money – no more sub-$30 million payrolls from Minnesota).
Offer sheets are nothing new; but rare all the same – which was why it wasn’t/isn’t a big deal. If Buffalo accepts this, though, it’s a dumb, dumb move however. You already lost Drury, Briere, and Zubrus; you need to keep some offensive players.
Don’t get me wrong, Vanek is incredibly talented. But I imagine my problems with him are similar to the -ookies’ issues with Gomer. He tends to coast on his natural talent sometimes. You just watch him lazily skating through the neutral zone sometimes and you want to slap him!
Yeah, can you say “contract year”? And dude needed to be benched in the playoffs before he’d start producing. Is that worth 4 decent draft picks? And isn’t next year’s draft stacked?
I just meant that what is the reason for the delay in signing these free agents? Free agency is something that’s kind of known about ahead of time, its not like its a spontaneous thing.
Well, Vanek’s been hearing all year about how he was going to attract offer sheets. So who’s to say he hasn’t been getting fair offers from the Sabres, but wanted to wait and see what other, more ridiculous amounts would be thrown at him by desperate, spiraling-out-of-control GMs around the league? I mean, it’s all well and good as a GM to say you’re going to re-sign a guy, but the fact remains that the guy getting signed has some input into the decision, too. (I mean, look at Niedermayer. Lou offered him the sun and the moon, but Nieder just didn’t want to stay in Jersey. Lou did everything he could but still lost Nieder.)
Hello……Good Morning…..DID I NOT ALL TELL YOU YESTERDAY THAT LOWE IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING FUCKTARD AROUND???
But if Buffalo takes it. They pass up four first rounders. a very good chance that they one day get at least one, if not two Vaneks :X.
Also, if Buffalo does go for the picks; either they have to suck really bad or hope Edmonton blows massive chunks for it to bear out Tavares or some other supposed wonderkid in the 2008-2011 drafts. Otherwise they just get extra picks but not early picks. Those picks may turn into great players, or they may not. This isn’t HF – prospects don’t win you championships.
On the other hand, 4 extra first round picks would be good for trades. Even then, Vanek has at least proven himself (to a point).
But if Buffalo takes it. They pass up four first rounders. a very good chance that they one day get at least one, if not two Vaneks
Of course, Vanek is a known commodity. Draft picks are a crap shoot. Just playing the devil’s advocate…
Forgive my ignorance (I planned to read up on the offer sheet rules, but I didn’t really think I’d need to), but when they say four first-round picks, do they mean their official 1 first-rounder every year for 4 years?
Ho-lee crap.
Square one meant only a handful of teams could spend as much as they want on anyone at anytime (e.g. your $70 million+ Rangers who didn’t make the playoffs) whereas other teams would try to manage lean payrolls. Under the current CBA, there is revenue sharing, a hard salary cap (The possibility of Lundqvist may break their cap is hilarious), and a hard salary floor (owners have to spend money – no more sub-$30 million payrolls from Minnesota).”
Yeah, I know….I’m just talking about awful, awful contracts worth waaaay to much being thrown around like they’re no big deal. If the cap stops going up yearly, this could come back to haunt the dumber GM’s, but that doesn’t seem very likely. So, essentially a fiscally responsible ownership team is now handicapped, just like they we’re before the lockout.
Bc you have to think, does Buffalo want to spend 7 mil on Vanek for seven years :X. Can they?
Plus there’s not only Tavares, there’s Stamkos and Doughty and a whole bunch of European defensemen next year that are great. :X the chances of getting someone awesome next year and the year after are very high.
and trades. always trades.
T__T Buffalo front-office must be crazy now.
dumber GM’s = Kevin Lowe
My last post was so full of grammatical errors, I’m not even going to try and fix them all here. My head is spinning, sorry guys, you’ll just have to try and bear with me.
I’m not even going to say anything. I’m trying to put up a post about it but I’m so stunned by the very THOUGHT of 7 mill for a guy like Vanek that I’m not getting very far.
Radio stations are reporting that they’ll match apparently. I would expect them to, as Quinn was pretty unequivocal on Monday, and that man is the master of double-speak. Well, that’s one contract we wouldn’t have to stress out about for a long time.
This isn’t just Lowe, on the verge of being evicted, setting the house on fire, is it?
I’d hate to be the next GM if this is the final straw for Lowe.
If the Sabers match that they are stuuuupppid. (mind you I think Oilers are asshats for offering that). Sabers still have the opportunity to be a decent team, but wasting THAT much of their cap on him is just dumb.
The Oilers went insane.
AND NO ONE HAS SIGNED TY CONKLIN!
Lowe has got to be the most hated man in Edmonton. People throw things at him during games. He and his train wreck ideas have screwed the team and the fans over in soooo many ways. These are Alberta fans……..they shoot you for shit like this. Trust me…..I lived there…….!
“This isn’t just Lowe, on the verge of being evicted, setting the house on fire, is it?”
I’m having flashbacks of Bobby Clarke signing Ryan Kesler to an offer sheet last year. He pissed everyone off, made the Canucks overpay for Kesler, then *poof* he was gone.
A fiscally responsible ownership team is only handicapped if by fiscally responsible you mean absolutely cheap. Again, there is a floor and a hard cap means that some of these players that can command big money won’t always end up with the “big teams.” I mean, the Edmonton Oilers – a “small market” team – are offering a boatload of money for Vanek. Martin Havlat get a ton of cash to go to Chicago, a notoriously cheap team after the lockout. We’re not at square one.
If the cap goes down drastically, I’m sure there will be a decision made about what to do with those who loaded themselves with gigantic contracts. Probably similar to what the Devils had to do last season – deal them away.
andrew, I agree with you that this is just so staggeringly unhealthy for the NHL. The huge contracts will come to bear down the road for the teams handing them out now, because the cap is based on revenues. The way things look right now, the revenue stream is kind of at it’s ceiling — we’re seeing how some traditionally rabid markets (Detroit) are pricing their fans out of attendance already, and I just don’t see the boom market of the Canadian franchises sustaining itself like this forever (see: Edmonton, already falling off the map) — so the GMs are deluding themselves if they think it’s just going to keep getting higher and higher. But yeah, it’s frustrating that fiscal responsibility is suddenly something teams are punished for. Gah.
If Buffalo matches it, will they all look good individually? Buffalo keeps him; Lowe, like, tried and stuff; and Vanek gets a TON of money.
Or do they all lose either way? Except Vanek, of course.
Of course, it goes without saying, there will always be stupidly large (both in length and amount) contracts. Teams overrate (and underrate) player’s worth in all sports. Just look at Alexei Yashin before his buyout. Or Rick DiPietro now.
Well, that’s one contract we wouldn’t have to stress out about for a long time.
Oh, I disagree. Any time you decide to pay a guy more than $7M per year for that long, that is a very stressful contract throughout. At the very very best scenario MAYBE Vanek could be worth it, but there are so many many things that could make this signing a shot straight through the foot.
I’m WAAAAAAAY on the side of letting Edmonton dig their own grave here. Take the picks and the freed-up money. There’s many better ways to gamble with that than on Tomas Vanek.
I think they lose either way. I think Buffalo would be stupid to pay him THAT much money.
“We’re not at square one.”
It’s all good John, I didn’t say we are at square one. I said we are headed back in that direction.
But, man, I sure hope you’re right.
If the Sabers match that they are stuuuupppid. (mind you I think Oilers are asshats for offering that). Sabers still have the opportunity to be a decent team, but wasting THAT much of their cap on him is just dumb.
Given salary escalation, by the time any great draft picks came of age, the Vanek thing probably wouldn’t look so ridiculous. Which is crazy, but it’s the way it is.
I’m WAAAAAAAY on the side of letting Edmonton dig their own grave here. Take the picks and the freed-up money. There’s many better ways to gamble with that than on Tomas Vanek
Especially considering that next year’s UFA market looks to be a really good and really deep one, and the draft has Pierre McGuire losing his mind already.
I guess this is why I am very unsympathic with you all when you start “the sky is falling” bits. I am an Edmonton fan. I know what the worst of it is. I have been dealing with shitty trades, bad mis-management, etc for years. I have numbed myself and when I see other fans getting all up in arms over something I would be happy to see our GM do since it would be mildly dumb instead of FUCKING INSANE like Lowe. :) You want to talk Zen-Hockey I am your woman.
Has it occurred to anyone what will happen if Lowe doesn’t get Vanek?
Say it with me: Parise.
Of course, it goes without saying, there will always be stupidly large (both in length and amount) contracts.
GMs are not famous for “learning lessons”. Just because GMs overpayed and overrated players last year, and the year before, and the year before that, doesn’t mean that’s what I’m doing right now! This time will be different! He got 30 goals! I must give him all our money!
You know who’s probably really peeved about this right now? The Penguins. All set to negotiate a long-term deal with Sid next week, and BAM! Suddenly Sid’s like, “Wait, if Vanek’s getting $7M, let’s reconsider that $8M we were talking about…”
Has it occurred to anyone what will happen if Lowe doesn’t get Vanek?
Say it with me: Parise.
If Lowe wants to spend $50M over 7 years on Zach Parise, I’ll be happy to see what the Devils can do with their draft picks.
“Say it with me: Parise.”
And that traitor Boxworthy is going to be rich, I tell you! Rich! MUWAHAHAHAH!!!
…something I would be happy to see our GM do since it would be mildly dumb instead of FUCKING INSANE like Lowe. :)
Hee hee.
If Lowe wants to spend $50M over 7 years on Zach Parise, I’ll be happy to see what the Devils can do with their draft picks.
Nice Schnookie….nice…..
as I just told Mags….the only thing that Lowe could do now that would shock me is actually make a good decision. Which we ALL know isn’t going to happen.
If Lowe wants to spend $50M over 7 years on Zach Parise, I’ll be happy to see what the Devils can do with their draft picks.
As much as I worry about Zach leaving, I’m with you on this one.
As much as I worry about Zach leaving, I’m with you on this one.
He’s a good player and all, and I’d love for him to be a Devil forever, but he’s not exactly a “cornerstone of a franchise” type guy. Although I always thought they vastly overrated Ryan Smyth, too, so who am I to judge what kind of player Oilers brass wants to make into the foundation of their future?
the only thing that Lowe could do now that would shock me is actually make a good decision.
I’m not sure my fragile body would handle that.
You know what I find really annoying? That this kind of thing sticks to a GM put not a player. This is really skanky of Vanek to agree to the offer (sure, sure, we’d all take the money, but seriously, after all the hue and cry over Briere, Drury and Gomez getting over paid, does no one have the decency to say $7 million is more than I need to play hockey?) but if Buffalo matches, and Vanek playes like a superstar, no one is ever going to hold it against him that he tried to bolt for more money. I think Vanek should, regardless of where he ends up, have to wear a scarlet SFW (slag-faced whore).
Oilers brass wants to make into the foundation of their future?
Schnookie? I think clearly there is no future actually considered when Oilers brass makes any decisions, I assumed that would be perfectly clear by now.
I’m having flashbacks of Bobby Clarke signing Ryan Kesler to an offer sheet last year. He pissed everyone off, made the Canucks overpay for Kesler, then *poof* he was gone.
andrew, I meant to comment earlier that you’re so right about this! That’s exactly what I was thinking, too!
I think clearly there is no future actually considered when Oilers brass makes any decisions, I assumed that would be perfectly clear by now.
Right, oil! Sorry. I should have realized that “future” for Lowe means “surviving the day”.
Well, it’s almost time for aforementioned press conference on Buffalo’s end.
Great way to kill a part of my day waiting for a phone interview which was moved from 11 today to 3 PM. I could have been done with it by now!
He’s a good player and all, and I’d love for him to be a Devil forever, but he’s not exactly a “cornerstone of a franchise” type guy.
Zach: I say, though, look I have a certificate that says I’m a cornerstone franchise player!
Boxworthy: Very good, sir. Please sir, read the piece of paper more closely. I think you’ll find that’s a flyer advertizing the opporutnity to become part of the Cornerstone Ice Cream Parlor national franchise team.
Zach: *lower lip starts to tremble* Does this mean I’m not a superstar?
Boxworthy: I’m afraid so, sir. Shall we cheer the master up with a little round of Guess The Revenge?
Zach: *claps hands and jumps up and down like a schoolgirl* Oh, yes, I ever so much love Guessing the Revenge!
At this point I’m starting to think Lowe’s trying to do everything wrong in attempt to get kicked out before the Oilers fans storm the building and skewer him alive or something. Honestly.
I should have realized that “future” for Lowe means “surviving the day”.
HA! Brilliant! My “ha ha” award is coming your way, Schnookie!
This is really skanky of Vanek to agree to the offer (sure, sure, we’d all take the money, but seriously, after all the hue and cry over Briere, Drury and Gomez getting over paid, does no one have the decency to say $7 million is more than I need to play hockey?) but if Buffalo matches, and Vanek playes like a superstar, no one is ever going to hold it against him that he tried to bolt for more money. I think Vanek should, regardless of where he ends up, have to wear a scarlet SFW (slag-faced whore).
I can’t hold it against him, because I know I’d sign that in a second. There are two options…he sucks and matching it is a huge mistake, or he actually turns into a real star and by the end of the 7 years, he’s a good deal. I guess we’ll all find out soon enough.
At this point I’m starting to think Lowe’s trying to do everything wrong in attempt to get kicked out before the Oilers fans storm the building and skewer him alive or something.
Oil pointed this out to me, but apparently in Alberta people get shot over this sort of thing. How come Lowe is still alive eh?
HA! Brilliant! My “ha ha” award is coming your way, Schnookie!
I’m so excited!
And my award goes to Pookie for that Boxworthy/Zach dialog. “Guess the Revenge”! :^::::::::::::::::::
[I had to edit this comment because MY COMPUTER ATE IT THE FIRST TIME I POSTED IT. Not cool, computer.]
Pookie, that was one of the funnier comments I have ever read here.
Bravo.
I think Vanek should, regardless of where he ends up, have to wear a scarlet SFW (slag-faced whore).
Yeah, I’m with Meg on this one. Vanek’s the pawn here. If we started handing out scarlet SFWs this liberally, it would be hard to keep track of who the real asshats are.
How come Lowe is still alive eh?
Oh, how many times I’ve asked myself this.
Oh, Pookie, I’m pissed at Thomas. Are you fucking kidding me? You’re 23-years-old, you little assy punk. You’re good but 50 million dollars? What the hell are you smoking?
This just in: Sabres are matching.
I can’t wait to see how this goes over in the lockerroom.
How come Lowe is still alive eh?
I am pretty sure he has security guards. If I remember correctly.
Sabres matched. Let’s hope he proves worth it.
Oh the fucking sabers. Bringing their stupidity level as low as the Oilers….how disappointing….I thought they were better then that.
I am pretty sure he has security guards. If I remember correctly.
They haven’t turned against him yet?
I can’t wait to see how this goes over in the lockerroom.
Crunchy says, “Vanek, you can BURN IN HELL!”
Vanek, of course, can’t hear him because he’s listening to Nickelback on his ermine-trimmed earbuds.
Eh…I think it was the right move on the Sabres part.
Press conference right now. Darcy sounds a little pissed at Kevin Lowe. I guess they spoke on the phone. Meow.
Yeah, I’m with Meg on this one. Vanek’s the pawn here. If we started handing out scarlet SFWs this liberally, it would be hard to keep track of who the real asshats are.
I’d want to see what Buffalo had already offered Vanek before I decide he’s a pawn in this mess. Sure, I’d probably take the money too, but I’d feel like a slag-faced whore doing it. Because I’d know I’d be giving up the excellent chance Buffalo has to win the Cup in order to get a bit more pocket change. I’m someone who will take less money and fewer professional perks if it means I get more time for the things I love (like spending time with friends and family, and having the time to engage in my favorite hobbies). I don’t understand why guys don’t weigh the opportunity to win with a good team more heavily when considering their contracts.
Oh the fucking sabers. Bringing their stupidity level as low as the Oilers….how disappointing….I thought they were better then that.
Admit it oil — you were just hoping you’d get Vanek! :P
(And see, Buffalo fans, how letting Drury and Briere go means the team can easily match the offer sheet everyone KNEW Vanek was going to be getting? I gotta say, for all that Vanek’s not worth this, he’s worth it more than Drury and Briere were.)
“Oh the fucking sabers. Bringing their stupidity level as low as the Oilers….how disappointing….I thought they were better then that.”
They have to Oil. I’d bet you dollars to donuts that no one in the Sabres front office really wants to match it, but they simply have to at this point. The fallout in Buffalo would be catastrophic if they let Vanek go.
Let’s hope he proves worth it.
If he does a Briere/Drury/Gomez he probably won’t be lynched. Not that they were worth the money.
Meg, I do too. It’s possible that by the time Vanek’s a couple years in, his deal is a bargan. (Which is ridiculous but there you go.) It’s a tough call but I’d rather have Vanek, who is somewhat proven and still learning than a bunch of draft picks.
Darcy sounds a little pissed at Kevin Lowe.
You’d think doing this sort of thing would make a GM a pariah in the GM community, which kind of leads me to wonder why they even bother. I mean, doesn’t this make it harder to get trades done down the road?
And yeah, I’m with Pookie in that I constantly wonder why more guys don’t realize that signing for, say, $5.5M per instead of $7M per (both being enough to be able to afford an extravagantly nice lifestyle) means their team can better afford the REST of the roster. You’d think Vanek would know by now that he’s not winning a Stanley Cup on his own.
Eh…I think it was the right move on the Sabres part.
I’m not sure here. It stinks of P.R. scramble to me. I don’t know how close the end amount is to what the Sabres had in mind, but I’m very sure it’s not a wise move to let a pissed-off Kevin Lowe handle your RFA negotiations.
If he does a Briere/Drury/Gomez he probably won’t be lynched. Not that they were worth the money.
Well, he matched Gomez’s career best as a sophmore in the NHL (tell me again how that is worth 7 mil. Rangers?) so unless he backslides, he might be lynching free.
“I mean, doesn’t this make it harder to get trades done down the road?”
Certainly makes it harder to get a trade with the Sabres. Regier is gonna tell Lowe to sit and spin next time he calls up for anything.
Regier is gonna tell Lowe to sit and spin next time he calls up for anything.
Oh to be a fly on the wall during that conversation.
I don’t know how close the end amount is to what the Sabres had in mind, but I’m very sure it’s not a wise move to let a pissed-off Kevin Lowe handle your RFA negotiations.
I can’t listen to the press conference today, but it sounds like they were expecting over 5 million and for a shorter term, and like are annoyed but not terribly surprised.
I’m glad the Sabres matched it.
Yeah, those extra picks may turn into someone as good as Vanek (5th overall in 2003, 163 GP, 68 G, 64 A, third highest points among 2003 draftees). Or someone as good as Ryan Whitney (5th overall in 2002); Stanislav Chistov (5th overall in 2001); Raffi Torres (5th overall in 2000); Tim Connolly (5th overall in 1999); or Vitali Vishnevsky (5th overall in 1998).
My point is that drafted players are a big risk and it’s much more likely you’ll draft someone that’s a lesser talent than Vanek than an equal or greater one. Yes, they could become great players or they could be OK players or they could be poor players. Vanek is already a solid scoring talent and if you draft a guy who has proven himself to be a very productive skilled forward – YOU KEEP HIM. Many are projected to be skilled and productive, but not many reach that level.
Also, Parise stays – he will be a cornerstone of the next generation of Devils.
it sounds like they were expecting over 5 million and for a shorter term, and like are annoyed but not terribly surprised.
That’s what I would have expected from them. While this is a ton of money (and hugely long-term), it’s not SO much more than what Vanek was going to demand anyway.
I have to ask, does everyone else think Kevin Lowe is acting an awful lot like Gil from the Simpsons right now? Or Jack Lemmon in Glengarry Glen Ross?
No dogfood for ole’ Gil tonight!
Admit it oil — you were just hoping you’d get Vanek!
Not for 7 mil. Honestly, if we are going to pay that much there are others I would rather see in that spot.
I have to ask, does everyone else think Kevin Lowe is acting an awful lot like Gil from the Simpsons right now? Or Jack Lemmon in Glengarry Glen Ross?
Aw, Kevin just wants to sign a player, aw geez!
Hee…I love all the messageboard GMs. So convinced that they could do it better.
Certainly makes it harder to get a trade with the Sabres. Regier is gonna tell Lowe to sit and spin next time he calls up for anything.
Oh, yeah. Darcy has pretty much said that they don’t like the idea of going after other team’s RFAs, they think it’s a bad precedent, but if Edmonton has anyone in the future…
Meg, you pretty much hit the nail on the head. They seem slightly annoyed at having to pony out quite so much but they don’t seem surprised at all. I guess they’ve been in constant talks with Vanek’s agent so they knew what was coming.
It will shock you, I’m sure, to know that Bucky Gleason is acting like a fucking asshole who think it’s all about him.
Hee…I love all the messageboard GMs. So convinced that they could do it better.
The only armchair GM I ever listen to is our very own Vinny. She makes good points.
Then Regier, that is…they probably could do it better than Lowe. I mean, Christ, Lowe, draft your own here.
My point is that drafted players are a big risk and it’s much more likely you’ll draft someone that’s a lesser talent than Vanek than an equal or greater one.
That said, some teams have demonstrated a history of consistently drafting well, while others are repeated scouting failures. The Sabres are the former, and the next draft class is, by all accounts, as loaded as the 2003 one was. If it was, say, Lowe himself with the future of the draft picks in his hands I’d say to take the bird in hand. But with Regier’s draft history, the two in the bush are almost as appealing.
I’m sure you guys already knew this, but the inspiration for Gil actually was Jack Lemmon’s character in Glengarry. Saw it on DVD special features, can’t remember which season.
It will shock you, I’m sure, to know that Bucky Gleason is acting like a fucking asshole who think it’s all about him.
I hate him so much. I don’t even like Quinn one bit, but the fact that he generally sounds like he wants to take a hit out on Bucky makes me a happy lady.
I’m sure you guys already knew this, but the inspiration for Gil actually was Jack Lemmon’s character in Glengarry.
If he hadn’t been inspired by the character from Glengarry I’d be worried! :-)
That said, some teams have demonstrated a history of consistently drafting well, while others are repeated scouting failures. The Sabres are the former, and the next draft class is, by all accounts, as loaded as the 2003 one was.
The problem is that the Sabres have a history of drafting well in every round but the first. Where they have a history of being very hit or miss.
Andrew Peters was a second round pick! High second round! OUCH!
Andrew Peters was a second round pick! High second round! OUCH!
Peters is like, “Dude, I’m in the NHL, aren’t I? I’d like to see Hugh Jessiman say that about himself.”
“It will shock you, I’m sure, to know that Bucky Gleason is acting like a fucking asshole who think it’s all about him.”
Bucky Gleason can go fuck himself.
Sorry. Sorry. That was vulgar and rude…
Bucky Gleason can go make love to himself.
I’m glad the Sabres matched it.
Yeah, those extra picks may turn into someone as good as Vanek…
I don’t think the draft picks are the issue much at all. That’s icing on the cake. The real issue is what you could do with $7.1M a year over the next 7 years. It might be too late to spend the money very well this summer (though with teams against the cap ceiling, I doubt it), but don’t neglect the power of having money to spend.
First rounders can hit or miss, sure, but what’s important is getting proper bang-for-your-buck on your paid roster. I don’t watch much Vanek, but I don’t think he’s in my top-30 players that I’d want for that salary and term.
The Sabres now have a different scouting team than they did and there’s some concern that it’s not as good as the previous team. I don’t know how that true is, but again, I’ll take the somewhat proven 23 year old.
Meg, Bucky actually got onto Darcy for interrupting him :::eyeroll:::
First rounders can hit or miss, sure, but what’s important is getting proper bang-for-your-buck on your paid roster. I don’t watch much Vanek, but I don’t think he’s in my top-30 players that I’d want for that salary and term.
I am with you on that Earl. Even though it was my team that offered it (*bangsheadondesk*).
Bucky Gleason can go fuck himself.
Sorry. Sorry. That was vulgar and rude…
Bucky Gleason can go make love to himself.
Well, I can’t imagine why anyone else would want to. Eww.
I don’t know Earl, Vanek put up all those points while playing about 14 minutes a game, with second powerplay time. His floating can be a problem, but it’s something that improved from his rookie year to his second year. We’ll see what happens, but if he continues on this path, he’s probably worth it, particularly as this contract covers 3 years past where he would become a UFA.
As far as I know, it consists mostly of video tape now.
I just got home from my driver’s exam [I failed, btw] and heard about the offer sheet. Vanek’s got tremendous upside but $50 million? Her?
Darth has not had a good day. We should really put Lowe on suicide watch.
First rounders can hit or miss, sure, but what’s important is getting proper bang-for-your-buck on your paid roster. I don’t watch much Vanek, but I don’t think he’s in my top-30 players that I’d want for that salary and term.
The thing about Vanek is that he might be that good. He’s still so young, though, so it’s hard to say if it’s going to happen…
Aww, Sherry, sorry about the driver’s exam. I’m sure you’ll do better next time.
You’re right about the Sabres using a lot of video now. I’m not crazy about that, but we’ll see how it pans out.
Sorry you failed your test, Sherry! Next time, though, right?
On that note, I’m out the door. I’ll be back in a few though — I’ve just got to drive myself in my wonderful car that I love having the legal right to drive (sorry Sherry. I couldn’t resist) home and zap my lunch.
I’m out as well. Post office and then home. Hopefully the excitement is over for the day. Goodness.
Awww, sorry you failed your test Sherry. Better luck next time :)
I don’t know Earl, Vanek put up all those points while playing about 14 minutes a game, with second powerplay time.
Per Behind the Net, Vanek played VERY easy minutes this year in scoring whatever he scored. In terms of “quality of teammates” he ranked 24 out of 676 (very good linemates) and in terms of “quality of opposition” he ranked 447 / 676 (not very good opponents).
Things will certainly be tougher on him if he’s not hiding his icetime behind Briere and Drury. It will be very interesting to see how they play him next year and what his results look like when defenses key on him.
Yeah thanks guys. I’m really disliking Ontario’s idiotic policy to make you take two driving exams before you’re fully licensed. I some how inexplicably passed my first road test on the first try without any casualties, sigh.
Apparently, Paddock really is the new bench boss in Ottawa. I thought he was good as an assistant but apparently he doesn’t have a winning record as a coach. Should I be concerned?
The only armchair GM I ever listen to is our very own Vinny. She makes good points.
Hee I love you Mags. XD
Ugh I was so mad I missed all the press-con fun..kicked out of my own house!
:0 Sherry it’s okay. You’ll kick butt the next time :D Bye Meg & Schnookie :)
On Vanek: i kind of agree with Earl where Vanek’s not worth that 7.1 mil yet. He’ll be 30 when it’s over, so hitting his prime, losing three years of UFA and all that, and it’s worth something. But 7.1 mil when he’s 30 might be pretty good. But that ‘might’ is just as risky as the draft picks that ‘might’ turn out okay. But those draft picks can also be used as leverage in trades. First rounders can bring a lot, esp Edmonton’s, which even with Vanek, should rank pretty high up there. Top 15 if not Top 10. It doesn’t have to be a draft pick that “might” turn out like Vanek. It all comes down to what Darcy thinks is better for the team.
see ya Schnookie, Meg!
Sorry Sherry, that’s a bummer.
I still think the Sabers made a knee jerk reaction to the whole situation.
The thing about Vanek is that he might be that good. He’s still so young, though, so it’s hard to say if it’s going to happen…
And that’s the thing. With an unknown future like that, I’d prefer a 2-year deal or something (even if it’s pricy) where you can properly evaluate his potential. Then if he’s worth it blow the bank for the next five years, but Buffalo now is doing that whether he materializes or not.
Does anyone know if it’s allowed to negotiate a different offer to Vanek? Like instead of 7 years give him 8, but lower the hit to under/at 7 mil?
Apparently, Paddock really is the new bench boss in Ottawa. I thought he was good as an assistant but apparently he doesn’t have a winning record as a coach. Should I be concerned?
Sherry I neveru nderstood the policy either. I’m hoping I don’t have to do the G until a long time from now. XD. And Paul Maurice didn’t, and he’s faring pretty good. It won’t be bad :D
Sherry I neveru nderstood the policy either. I’m hoping I don’t have to do the G until a long time from now. XD. And Paul Maurice didn’t, and he’s faring pretty good. It won’t be bad :D
Haha, you have about 4 years to do your G so you’re fine :P You can’t do it until a certain amount of time passes from your G2 anyways.
I guess so. I may not like the Leafs but I think Maurice is a good coach for what the Leafs need. Again, I’m uncertain about how the transition will be going from assistant to head coach, but Paddock seems to know how to get through with the guys so we’ll see from there.
In the meantime, I’m really hoping Murray gets Emery, Schubie and Kelly signed from Ottawa’s RFAs pops up on Lowe’s Wheel of Misplaced Anger.
Lowe’s Wheel of Misplaced Anger
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Coke…all over my keyboard……
In the meantime, I’m really hoping Murray gets Emery, Schubie and Kelly signed from Ottawa’s RFAs pops up on Lowe’s Wheel of Misplaced Anger.
Yeah, do that. I’m hoping somehow enough RFAs get signed that a $50 million offer sheet gets sent Dustin Penner’s way. C’mon Lowe! Get really desperate!
Oh yeah, Devils fans worried about Parise being offered a sheet: I wouldn’t worry. Apparently, a team can only offer one offer sheet at a time – even if Buffalo immediately filed paperwork stating they’ll match the offer. So until the paperwork is done and this matter is resolved, Oilers can’t do anything with other RFAs for at least a week or so.
HAHAHAHHA Sherry RFAs that go to arbitration can’t be tendered an offer sheet, so you’re safe there :)
and 3 years I have ;_; i spent a year not learning for my G2. eep.
Sorry, that was a really poorly constructed sentence, but glad you guys got my point. The thing is with the Senators’ RFAs is that none of them have wives to tell them not to go to Edmonton.
I’m hoping somehow enough RFAs get signed that a $50 million offer sheet gets sent Dustin Penner’s way.
You don’t like Penner? Or is this old news and I haven’t been really paying attention.
Lowe’s Wheel of Misplaced Anger
Sherry, you should make a diagram of that one, too.
You don’t like Penner? Or is this old news and I haven’t been really paying attention.
Oh, I really liked Penner at league minimum. But his results are somewhat skewed by also playing very easy minutes (behind Selanne/McDonald) and with very good linemates (Getzlaf/Perry), and he’s got a yet-to-be-determined raise coming this summer.
It’s very much like Lupul before him–how much I like the player will be very dependent on his RFA raise.
Oh yeah, Devils fans worried about Parise being offered a sheet: I wouldn’t worry.
That would’ve just been me. What can I say, I’m paranoid :P
A.Oil, I think it was partly a reaction to all the negative PR of losing Chris and Danny, but management did say in the press conference that it lines up somewhat with what they had budgeted for Vanek for the next number of years – a little over but not enough that they ever considered taking the draft picks. And I have to say, in the end, I’d rather be paying Vanek 7 million than Danny or Chris and it’s clear they were going to put that kind of money somewhere. So better here than there.
Vanek isn’t going to be Sid or Alex, but I’m not going to be surprised if he’s in that top group when all is said and done. He’s that good – most of the time – already and he’s a baby yet. It’s a crapshoot either way – I’d rather take the crapshoot on Vanek than draft picks.
Lowe is clearly never getting anything from the Sabres ever again however, atleast as long as current management is around.
I would be happy taking Parise and Boxworthy. But then again, I like them and I don’t know if I wish the Oilers on any player…..hmmm….will have to think about that one.
To you think Henrik Lundqvist’s agent is looking at the numbers for Vanek and thinking, “Hmmmmm….”
Hee Heather I seriously, REALLY hope so.
PLEASE, PLEASE make lundy get an offer sheet! From a place like Washington to boot, with all th emoney in the world! T___T. Or at least take him to arbitration so he gets omething like 4mil+ and screws over the Rangers :D
To you think Henrik Lundqvist’s agent is looking at the numbers for Vanek and thinking, “Hmmmmm….”
*continues praying to the Hockey Gods for someone to give Lundy an outrageous offer sheet*
*continues praying to the Hockey Gods for someone to give Lundy an outrageous offer sheet*
I’m beginning to think an offer sheet isn’t the way we want this to go, because it would mean the Rangers would get a bunch of decent draft picks. I’m hoping now for a Comrie/Peca-esque season(s)-long holdout.
You have a good point there Schnookie.
A part of me hopes so too, but poor Henrik will probably go absolutely batty from not playing he ends up crashing random suburban pre-teens hockey games just to get a piece of the action.
I want the rangers to be fucked. With a capital F. Don’t let them bail out of this…..no offer sheet…no offer sheet.
Hi folks, sorry for the absence. I’ve had to be so much more productive now that I’m unemployed.
This whole Lowe/Vanek think has blown my mind. I’m very disturbed at the idea of huge paydays for future performance. It makes sense for a Crosby or an Ovechkin, but in general, it doesn’t seem like too many young players overcome the weird mix of the pressure that comes from a huge salary and the counteracting complacency that comes from the same huge salary. I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel like the right mix of carrot-and-stick.
poor Henrik will probably go absolutely batty from not playing he ends up crashing random suburban pre-teens hockey games just to get a piece of the action.
Heh. DIRTY.
I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel like the right mix of carrot-and-stick.
Heh. DIRTIER.
Yes, I’m twelve.
Sounds like Quinn is peeved. I guess he basically said that Edmonton can expect to have offers tendered to any of their decent RFA’s in the future. hmmm.
well, Schnooks, it doesn’t much more than a 3.75 mil+ offer sheet to screw up the Rangers.. and at that point it’s just a first and a third i believe.
Which teams like Washington with lot sof farm depth can pay :X.
i’m sure Colorado fans are happy Svatos is signed :X
guess he basically said that Edmonton can expect to have offers tendered to any of their decent RFA’s in the future. hmmm.
Sadly, that Parise-esque revenge scheme is predicated on there being “decent” RFAs in Edmonton in the future. A.oil, what’s the likelihood of that happening?
A.oil, what’s the likelihood of that happening?
Edmonton’s farm depth is very good. If you look at this year, Simon Gagne will be “decent” at least, from what i’ve seen :D. I’d say the likelihood is very high :).
If any of you guys are interested in a super talented but inconsistent basket-case, there’s always Robbie Schremp :D
Aw, come on Vinny — there’s a great chance the Oilers will find a way to break all those prospects before they can become decent RFAs. (Actually, since the Sabres have sworn to wreak a terrible vengeance on that organization, maybe breaking those kids is the way to go…)
there’s always Robbie Schremp :D
Wait he plays hockey? I thought we just kept him around so the hot-oil girls could post hilarious pictures of him from facebook.
If any of you guys are interested in a super talented but inconsistent basket-case
Thanks, we’re already paying $6+ million a year to Patty Elias. We’ve got all the super talented but inconsistent basket-cases we need in Jersey!
Edmonton can expect to have offers tendered to any of their decent RFA’s in the future?
Edmonton’s farm depth is very good. If you look at this year, Simon Gagne will be “decent” at least, from what i’ve seen :D. I’d say the likelihood is very high :).
Well but we never seem to move from farm depth to actual team. So yes, in theory high, in actual real life scenerio? Not so much, they will get traded, injured, etc. It just doesn’t seem to really work out for the Oilers. Honestly we will get rid of players long before they become RFA’s. Worse is that Quinn will end up paying out the ass for someone to piss off Edmonton because Edmonton will let them walk. We have no real intelligence to ACTUALLY keep someone decent. So unfortunately the jokes on Quinn in the end.
I thought we just kept him around so the hot-oil girls could post hilarious pictures of him from facebook.
Oh no, that’s absolutely the only reason we keep him around. Hockey’s just a front.
I actually have fond memories of l’il Robbie. He was a first round draft pick of the Mississauga IceDogs where he played junior. For about a year.
HAHA Schremp has wicked anti-gravity stickhandling skills. give him that. XD
But schnooks! There’s still Pitkanen. (i think) XD. If he turns out half decent, he’ll be worth an offer sheet.
Oh no, that’s absolutely the only reason we keep him around. Hockey’s just a front.
Oh good, I was worried I’d been missing something important this whole time.
Heh.
Anyways I’m being forced to go dress shopping right now. Uh..be back in a couple of hours.
Have fun, Sherry! I hope it goes better than the driving test did!
Good luck with that Sherry :)
I’m hearing Clemmenson has a job with the Leafs…
Sounds like Quinn is peeved. I guess he basically said that Edmonton can expect to have offers tendered to any of their decent RFA’s in the future. hmmm.
And why not? If Lowe is content to disrupt the salary structure or ability to hold prospects for a team like Buffalo, he’s certainly going to be available and vulnerable for more of the same.
Hell, Lowe’s Oilers should burn for this even if there’s no direct repercussion. All that Lowe has accomplished today is to set a very dangerous precedent that will make all his young players more expensive in the future. He basically has undermined his entire rebuild strategy, because how valuable does amassing young talent look today? Certainly less valuable than it looked 24 hours ago.
Why do we need another backup backup? he’ll play less games than backing up brodeur! :X
okay i’m out to pick up my new glasses :D be back soon!
I’m hearing Clemmenson has a job with the Leafs…
Uh, good for Toronto, I guess?
Apparently he’ll play with the Marlies. Or something. Ask Steph, she knows more.
Hell, Lowe’s Oilers should burn for this
No….LOWE should burn for this. He did a stupid thing that is now going to be affecting the ENTIRE league and it will nothing to help it.
Clemmensen has a new home in Toronto, so says the Toronto Star
He’ll get plenty of minutes and shots against. Wins…let’s not talk about wins – it IS Toronto.
Why do we need another backup backup? he’ll play less games than backing up brodeur!
Just imagine how angry his “In My Own Words” column for The Hockey News can be when he isn’t even dressing to sit on the bench!
Earl, I completely agree with you that hockey fans across the league, not just in Buffalo, should be royally pissed at Lowe right now. This helps nobody. It doesn’t help Edmonton, it doesn’t help Buffalo, and now everyone has to deal with the escalation of salaries. And as for Lowe surviving the day, does this even buy him any extra time in his job? Is anyone in Edmonton placated by this move? It’s just awful, all around. Grrr…
They’re saying he’ll be like the third guy, split duties with Pogge with the Marlies most of the season, and be the one called up should the Leafs need a replacement. That’s what I’ve heard anyway.
They’re saying he’ll be like the third guy, split duties with Pogge with the Marlies most of the season, and be the one called up should the Leafs need a replacement. That’s what I’ve heard anyway.
Well, I hope Clemmer and his $30,000 teeth are happy.
No….LOWE should burn for this. He did a stupid thing that is now going to be affecting the ENTIRE league and it will nothing to help it.
Sure, if there were justice this would only affect Lowe. But I don’t see how the post-Lowe Oilers won’t be feeling this punch-to-the-nuts well after he’s left. Lowe has basically stuck a middle finger up towards all small-market teams today, and the repercussions will last longer than Lowe does.
“Clemmensen has a new home in Toronto, so says the Toronto Star
With Toskala and Raycroft already fighting for the starting spot? Sounds like a crowded crease. I know the Leafs probably aren’t clever enough to use Clemmer as trade bait (would he even warrant a decent return?), so this seems like a little mind boggler.
Is anyone in Edmonton placated by this move? It’s just awful
Lowe is like Bettman in the way that there is no good move for him. Even if he did something good, it would still be “bad”. There is nothing other then leaving town with his tail between his legs that could make Edmonton happy.
I will be interested to see how much longer he keeps his job. The fans hated him but he seems to “have an in” with the ownership. Nothing he doesn’t seems to get him punished by the ECG. I really hope that this is the final straw. I really hope he is DONE.
With Toskala and Raycroft already fighting for the starting spot? Sounds like a crowded crease. I know the Leafs probably aren’t clever enough to use Clemmer as trade bait (would he even warrant a decent return?), so this seems like a little mind boggler.
Doesn’t this mean that Raycroft might be dangled as trade bait? Hmm, not that he’d warrant a decent return.
Doesn’t this mean that Raycroft might be dangled as trade bait? Hmm, not that he’d warrant a decent return.
No matter how bad Raycroft was last year, he’s still better than Clemmer. I figure picking him up on a two-way deal just affords the Leafs a little bit of insurance, since there’s no way anyone would head into a season feeling confident with Clemmensen as their backup unless they’ve got Brodeur as their starter.
“Doesn’t this mean that Raycroft might be dangled as trade bait? Hmm, not that he’d warrant a decent return.”
I don’t remember Raycroft being that bad last year. Certainly better than the year before. didn’t he win something like 37 games? But yeah, he’s kinda damaged goods at this point.
Whoa… When my mom called me from the car and told me what they were saying on the radio about the Vanek offer, my jaw literally dropped. That is INSANE!
From a hockey standpoint it was pretty much a lose-lose situation. That’s WAY too much money, but we really couldn’t afford to let him go. No one knows how he’s going to produce in the future, so it’s certainly a gamble, but when given the choice between Vanek and 4 first rounders, I’d chose Vanek every time. Sure, Buffalo has a good draft record, but what becomes of those prospects when they become RFAs? Are we going to let them go, too? At some point you have to be able to hold on to the players you produce or you’re just a farm team for the rest of the league. And I agree that with the market headed the way it is (thanks Lowe!), eventually 7 mil a year is going to look like a deal for a player of Vanek’s youth and talent. Crazy but true.
One things for sure, though. I’d rather overpay a 30-year old Thomas Vanek than a 38-year-old Daniel Briere any day of the week.
I’m really nervous about how this is going to affect Roy’s contract, though.
Also, I think the compensation packages need to be seriously re-thought, if RFAs are going to get offers in the 7 million zone. I mean, there’s a big difference between 5 and 7 million, so 4 first rounders for both really isn’t going to cut it.
No matter how bad Raycroft was last year, he’s still better than Clemmer. I figure picking him up on a two-way deal just affords the Leafs a little bit of insurance, since there’s no way anyone would head into a season feeling confident with Clemmensen as their backup unless they’ve got Brodeur as their starter.
Hm, I guess you’re right. Poor Toskala, he got shipped from one goalie tandem to another.
Regier said in the press conference that he talked to Lowe, told him the team was going to match the offer, and tried to explain all the way he was opening himself and the league to a shitstorm which was needless, especially since he wasn’t going to get the player he wanted. Poor Darcy. I love that he feels everyone is as logical and prudent as he is.
“Hm, I guess you’re right. Poor Toskala, he got shipped from one goalie tandem to another.”
Yeah, but it’s different this time . He’ll outplay the shit out of Raycroft and earn the starting spot. Nabokov was evenly matched to Toskala, I don’t think Raycroft is.
Poor Darcy. I love that he feels everyone is as logical and prudent as he is.
It must be so difficult for the GMs who actually know what they’re doing to deal with the rest of these clods. I mean, think about all the idiot coworkers you deal with every day… It would be like that but a zillion times worse.
I’m beginning to think an offer sheet isn’t the way we want this to go, because it would mean the Rangers would get a bunch of decent draft picks.
Yeah, but do the Rangers know how to use draft picks? Don’t they just trade them away for other people’s high ticket free agents? I think we’re entering win-win territory. Arbitration/hold-out/offer sheet, can this end well for the Rangers?
can this end well for the Rangers?
With every passing day I become increasingly concerned that Hank will do the right thing and sign for less. At which point I will burn Madison Square Garden down or something.
It must be so difficult for the GMs who actually know what they’re doing to deal with the rest of these clods. I mean, think about all the idiot coworkers you deal with every day… It would be like that but a zillion times worse.
And then he gets to sit through press conferences where the sports department of the local paper spends 15 minutes telling him how he should be doing his job and how they would run the team if it was theirs. I’m wondering if Regier is re-thinking his decsion to stay in Buffalo right about now.
Gambler, Regier and Quinn didn’t seem to think Vanek’s contract would impact Roy’s contract because they’re different players with different roles. If it goes to arbitration, I know they use comparable players in their determinations.
With every passing day I become increasingly concerned that Hank will do the right thing and sign for less.
As much as I want an RFA to step up and make a statement about the ridiculous money that’s being thrown around… please don’t let it be Hank. Go petty and greedy and slag-faced, Lundy!
Heather, at least Darcy is only dealing with the morons at one newspaper. Just think how much worse it’s going to be for a certain herpes robot when he learns what it’s like to play in a multi-paper town. Hee hee!
Gambler, I agree — we need Hank as slag-faced as possible! (Although maybe slag-facedness means he’d stay with the Rangers? Maybe he needs to be less slag-faced?)
Between Nylander’s wife pulling a Lauren Pronger and the Vanek situation, it has not been a good week for Lowe.
What’s going on with Muckler and Toronto?
I know Sherry’s not here right now, but I missed getting the chance to say “Sorry about the driving test! As Marty said, ‘It’s hard to win every year’! You’ll get it next time!”
I just got stuck doing real work for the last hour. Part of that hour was dealing with a customer:
Customer: I’m looking for something in the newspaper from this week but I don’t know what paper or what day. Do you know when that woman was stabbed?
Me: I don’t read the papers, I’m sorry.
Customer: Well, it was also on the news. A woman was stabbed…
Me: I don’t watch the news.
Customer: It was on the radio too! It was about this woman who was stabbed. You don’t listen to the radio either? [Implied: How do you know what's going on in the world?!]
Me: Can you believe the Vanek stuff that went down today?
(I did find what he was looking for, just in case you’re all thinking I’m a bad librarian.)
(I did find what he was looking for, just in case you’re all thinking I’m a bad librarian.)
I’m sure you’re a great librarian. I wonder how much Lowe will offer to steal your services.
Pookie, we know you’re trying to be the best professional reference librarian you can possibly be.
Between Nylander’s wife pulling a Lauren Pronger and the Vanek situation, it has not been a good week for Lowe.
Eh, he’s just an incompetent boob. He brought it on himself, with his Gil-ness and all. :P
Yeah, but it’s different this time . He’ll outplay the shit out of Raycroft and earn the starting spot. Nabokov was evenly matched to Toskala, I don’t think Raycroft is.
Andrew, I sure hope so. I can’t figure out why I’m rooting for Toskala, but I am. Maybe I’m just happy that he’s out of the Pac Div. :P
What’s going on with Muckler and Toronto?
According to TSN, the position is for “a senior advisor to help out the hockey club’s general manager, John Ferguson.” Help out? Sounds like a Boxworthy-type job.
Don’t be fooled, guys. Pookie’s a terrible librarian.
Help out? Sounds like a Boxworthy-type job.
Grace, you’re right! Muckler and his wooden teeth are now the Maple Leafs’ turtle-of-affairs!
(Um, considering all the power struggle imbroglios he’s been in during his career, who on earth thinks adding him as a turtle-of-affairs isn’t going to end up an ugly, ugly scene?)
Don’t be fooled, guys. Pookie’s a terrible librarian.
It’s true. For example, I’m planning on ruining a library program tonight. But, hey, it’s their fault for throwing a party for Cam Janssen. What? It’s a party for Cam Jansen? I don’t care, I’m wrecking it anyway!
Pookie gets the Mags award for Making Mags Laugh So Hard She Fell Off Her Chair today. Only get’s handed out once a day too :P
But, hey, it’s their fault for throwing a party for Cam Janssen. What? It’s a party for Cam Jansen?
What is Cam doing at a library anyway? Can he read?
Just think how much worse it’s going to be for a certain herpes robot when he learns what it’s like to play in a multi-paper town. Hee hee!
And better yet…some of those papers are actually WORSE than the Buffalo News. Which, frankly, shouldn’t even be possible.
Earl, this is way back, but I do realize that the quality of Vanek’s opposition was low (the strength of his linemates should be irrelevant for now as he’s likely to be with them again next year). It’s definitely a concern and a risk. But if they had taken the draft picks I’d be even more concerned by the Sabres predilection for drafting Heistens, Novotnys, and Kryukovs.
Only get’s handed out once a day too :P
*Narrowing eyes dangerously* I feel like I’ve just been insulted…
Pookie gets the Mags award for Making Mags Laugh So Hard She Fell Off Her Chair today. Only get’s handed out once a day too :P
Woo hoo! Thanks Mags! Saaay, when are we going to get to see that transcript of that interview?
Grace, you’re right! Muckler and his wooden teeth are now the Maple Leafs’ turtle-of-affairs!
By the way, I never really asked this, but now that I’m reminded…
creature-of-affairs Oysterworthy
This is hilarious, of course, but at the same time disturbing. Are we naming an oyster “Oysterworthy” here? Boy oh boy that’s a cruel name for an oyster. It’s both inherently demeaning and logically difficult (not that I’m against either of those features).
Please elaborate.
And better yet…some of those papers are actually WORSE than the Buffalo News. Which, frankly, shouldn’t even be possible.
I know! It’s like someone in the QC departments at the Post and Daily News has to read all the bottom-feeding newspapers in the country just so they can stay abreast of how awful a paper has to be to remain the very, very worst.
Schnookie, I can’t keep up with the award if I hand it out more often. This is my incompetence talking :P
Pookie, shoot me an email and I’ll send it over.
I think Muckler should insist on having “wooden teeth-of-affairs” as his official title.
And I second Earl’s request. Oysterworthy? Serves me right for missing IPB days at a time.
Earl, this is way back, but I do realize that the quality of Vanek’s opposition was low (the strength of his linemates should be irrelevant for now as he’s likely to be with them again next year). It’s definitely a concern and a risk. But if they had taken the draft picks I’d be even more concerned by the Sabres predilection for drafting Heistens, Novotnys, and Kryukovs.
Yeah, I understand what you’re saying, but I never really would have suggested that Vanek be replaced by draft picks. The more relevant question is “Is there a person in this league that can be bought for $7.1 million and play Vanek’s minutes as well or better than he will?”
And while nothing is for sure at this point, the answer is very likely to be “yes”.
This is hilarious, of course, but at the same time disturbing. Are we naming an oyster “Oysterworthy” here? Boy oh boy that’s a cruel name for an oyster. It’s both inherently demeaning and logically difficult (not that I’m against either of those features).
Yeah, that one didn’t take off with the same immediate perfection as Pookie’s naming of Boxworthy did. I just preferred the way the sentence worked to hit the “oyster” punchline in the -worthy construction as a payoff after the use of “creature”, although now that I think about it, I should have gone with “oyster-of-affairs Nacreworthy”, or “oyster-of-affairs Foecesworthy”. I think perhaps we need to have a “Name Patrik Elias’ Oyster-Of-Affairs” contest.
(And as an aside, I think “oyster” is an hilarious word. Just on it’s own. In case you were wondering.)
I think Oysterworthy is a smashing name.
Know what I just realized? the Sabres top center is now probably going to be Derek Roy.
Please elaborate.
I think this blogging thing just paid off. I don’t think anyone has ever requesting Schnookie (or me) to elaborate on anything. We tend to get more of the “you’re insane, can you go away now” reactions.
Know what I just realized? the Sabres top center is now probably going to be Derek Roy.
Ick. Lets at least hope for a pre-concussion 05-06 Connolly, yeah.
And I second Earl’s request. Oysterworthy? Serves me right for missing IPB days at a time.
Grace, I suggest you check out the “Boxworthy” entry in the IPBGlossary! That should answer at least a few of the questions…
Oh, by the way, have we mentioned yet that Sid has a dog named Zachworthy? He got it after he ran away from living with the Parises during his year at Shattuck, and he and his junkyard mutt rode the rails for a while, eating out of garbage cans and just generally being a sadsack pair of vagabonds. (He finally had to leave because he was sick of waking up every morning to discover Donna Parise had styled his hair like Zach’s while he’d been sleeping.)
I think perhaps we need to have a “Name Patrik Elias’ Oyster-Of-Affairs” contest.
I vote for Crazy Ivan the Henchoyster. He’s less a creature-of-affairs, and more the footpad hired by Patty to take care of the iniquital matters of the seedy underbelly of the city that Patty doesn’t want to be seen in.
But… but… who wouldn’t want Derek Roy as their top-line center? :P
Maybe he’ll decide that having that kind of responsibility means he can’t dive anymore.
How about “Rockefeller” for the oyster-of-affairs?
A henchoyster! Of course!
“Lets at least hope for a pre-concussion 05-06 Connolly, yeah.”
I thought about that, and while TC is a much better playmaker (when healthy) than Roy, the Vanek/Afinogenov/Roy line is probably going to outproduce any combination they can put Timmy with.
I vote for Crazy Ivan the Henchoyster.
That’s brilliant!
How about “Rockefeller” for the oyster-of-affairs?
Ooh, very classy! Talk about top hat and spats!
How about “Rockefeller” for the oyster-of-affairs?
Ohhh, Amy, I like that! (It’s almost cheating though, as if you knew that after I read Ron Chernow’s biography of John D. Rockefeller he became one of my historical figure boyfriends. I am always an easy sell on the Rockefellers.)
Thanks, Schnookie, I went up and read the (fantastic, as usual) game diary and found the original reference to Crazy Ivan the Henchoyster (ne Oysterworthy), and it all makes sense now. Er, well, you know what I mean by “makes sense.”
Er, well, you know what I mean by “makes sense.”
Yes. What you mean is, “Well of course Patrik Elias has an oyster valet!”
Er, well, you know what I mean by “makes sense.”
Makes perfect sense to me! Why wouldn’t Patrik Elias have a henchoyster? He had to get it to make sure PJ wasn’t stealing his valuables when he had Petr Sykora over for dinner.
That ferret? Or is it a rat? Yeah, you can’t trust that thing for even one second.
That ferret? Or is it a rat? Yeah, you can’t trust that thing for even one second.
Especially since Patty gets all his information fed to him by Crazy Ivan the Henchoyster, who told Patty that “sometimes it’s a ferret and sometimes it’s a rat. It’s a bloody shapeshifter!” That, understandably, had Patty nervous for his precious collection of rare tropical diseases encased in amber.
I wouldn’t throw Connolly over so fast. He played three regular season games before the postseason this year and probably wouldn’t have been playing at all if we hadn’t really needed him. He didn’t seem scared, just weak and tired and if he can get his conditioning back up, I have no problems with him as the number one center. We’ll see what happens, I guess.
I just heard Vanek on the radio and I’ve totally softened on him. He came across as a big, dumb kid who couldn’t believe someone thought he was worth that much money. In fact, considering how effusive he was about Buffalo and wanting to stay here, I’m not entirely convinced anyone explained to him that the Sabres didn’t HAVE to match the offer. He said he was very touched by what Regier said about how important he was and he seemed so innocent and sincere that now I’m a little worried for him and the huge expectations on him.
What can I say, I’m very flighty.
What can I say, I’m very flighty.
I’ve spent all morning/afternoon reacting to every point made for both sides of this whole mess with, “Well, that makes sense!” It’s been a weird day. But the one thing I never wavered on was that Vanek should be getting it from the fans right now. He played his cards to show that his loyalty is 100% with the money, not the team. He’s not so inocent that he doesn’t know that much. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — slag-faced whore! (Just kidding. I just really like saying slag-faced whore.)
I’m definitely not dumping on Timmy, I love that bald-headed fool. I’m just saying that the VRA line have amazing chemistry and will put up lots of points, while Timmy will be stuck with guys like Hecht or Pommer….on the 2nd line.
I would hate to be Sabers brass right now, like Mags and I were talking, Vanek had best have a mind blowing year this next year, because if he only has an average year Buffalo fans (sorry guys, I do love you) are going to being seeing red for the amount of money they put out to keep him. I still see this as a lose – lose for all situations. Not to mention the amount of stress put on that kid.
I’m definitely not dumping on Timmy, I love that bald-headed fool. I’m just saying that the VRA line have amazing chemistry and will put up lots of points, while Timmy will be stuck with guys like Hecht or Pommer….on the 2nd line.
I can’t help but notice that you seem to have neglected to mention only the best Sabres player ever. Are you suggesting that Staffy won’t be on the top line? Or the 2nd line?! I call for Lindy Ruffy’s head on a pike!
andrew, gotcha. I see what you’re saying. I, for one, would like to see Hecht on a checking line where I think he belongs, but I don’t know who would take his place on Timmy’s line.
He played his cards to show that his loyalty is 100% with the money, not the team.
But he’s just a baby! And he’s going to get eaten alive!
No, you’re right. But listening to that interview, I’m really not sure he thought through all the intricacies of the situation. I hope his contract doesn’t create any lockerroom tension because I’m not sure the possibility that it could even crossed his mind.
“I can’t help but notice that you seem to have neglected to mention only the best Sabres player ever. Are you suggesting that Staffy won’t be on the top line? Or the 2nd line?! I call for Lindy Ruffy’s head on a pike!”
HAHA!! Sorry Pookie, guess I blew it there.
How about this: Stupid Sabres never give Stafford any respect! He should be on their first line! NOT second or third!!! GAH!
Is that a bit better for ya?
Oh, actually I think it was Staffy that I planned on putting with Timmy and Pommerdoodle so that Yo-Yo could play on a more defensive line. Thanks, Pookie!
How about this: Stupid Sabres never give Stafford any respect! He should be on their first line! NOT second or third!!! GAH!
Is that a bit better for ya?
Much better, thank you!
Heather, I totally see your point about Vanek not quite understanding what was going on. He was probably smoking pot in Paulie Martin’s basement when his agent called. Vanek was probably like, “Dude, do whatever you think I should do.” And then a couple of hours later he gets a cranky call from Secret-C Crunchy saying, “You slag-faced whore, what are you doing to my dressing room?”
Heather, I totally see your point about Vanek not quite understanding what was going on. He was probably smoking pot in Paulie Martin’s basement when his agent called. Vanek was probably like, “Dude, do whatever you think I should do.” And then a couple of hours later he gets a cranky call from Secret-C Crunchy saying, “You slag-faced whore, what are you doing to my dressing room?”
I don’t have an award, but I just broke my office chair when I fell of it. Yes….I am THAT FAT!
Staffy, Connolly and Pommie?! I love it! I didn’t really pay attention to the Sabres before Timmy got hurt, so I spent all sesaon disliking him and think he was a idiot for trying to come back at all (I think the whole why-doesn’t-Buffalo-get-acccussed-of-the-same-cap-evading-evil-as-the-Devils-do thing got in the way and colored my opinon of him just a wee bit). But then in the playoffs I shocked myself by really liking him. So I’m all over that line.
haha, did you guys see? The Wild just signed Sean Hill. Think he knows where I can score some ‘roids dude!?
I still see this as a lose – lose for all situations.
Oh, it’s definitely that. Although Vanek is the same age as me and will make approximately 322 times what I make next year, so maybe not such a loss for him.
I don’t have an award, but I just broke my office chair when I fell of it. Yes….I am THAT FAT!
And I broke my chair when I wrote that comment, because yes, I am that PHAT. (And, yes fat, too. But mostly phat. Becuase I’m just that cook.)
I don’t have an award, but I just broke my office chair when I fell of it. Yes….I am THAT FAT!
A.oil, if I’d been in my office chair when I read that, I probably would have done the same thing!
“I spent all sesaon disliking him and think he was a idiot for trying to come back at all”
Now that he’s back, you’re gonna love Timmy. He’s so freaking fun to watch! Until he gets another concussion, then he makes you sad. It’s a real rollercoaster with that kid.
Oh, actually I think it was Staffy that I planned on putting with Timmy and Pommerdoodle so that Yo-Yo could play on a more defensive line. Thanks, Pookie!
I just love how even the most die-hard hockey fan would probably not have the wherewithal to realize that this comment involves people seriously discussing NHL hockey.
I am telling you I can see him in Paulie basement (alot like the basement from That 70′s show fully intact with washer and dryer only much darker) smoking weed and trying to figure out what to do.
Is that wrong I can see that so clearly?
Oh, Pookie, Timmy at the top of his game is a beautiful, beautiful thing to behold. I still have a game from two years ago on my Tivo because of a SICK move he made around an entire defensive unit for a goal. Just amazing.
Oh, actually I think it was Staffy that I planned on putting with Timmy and Pommerdoodle so that Yo-Yo could play on a more defensive line. Thanks, Pookie!
Staffy: Pommerdoodle, what is it? Timmy fell down the well?
I am telling you I can see him in Paulie basement (alot like the basement from That 70’s show fully intact with washer and dryer only much darker) smoking weed and trying to figure out what to do.
Is that wrong I can see that so clearly?
Well hell. If it is, I don’t want to be right.
“Staffy: Pommerdoodle, what is it? Timmy fell down the well?”
holy crap. Well done Amy, well done.
Staffy: Pommerdoodle, what is it? Timmy fell down the well?
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Amy, the CTMPLTH Award is yours!
Staffy: Pommerdoodle, what is it? Timmy fell down the well?
I knew I shoulda waited with that award. O well, it’s yours in spirit :P
I knew I shoulda waited with that award. O well, it’s yours in spirit :P
It’s okay, Amy can have it. She deserves it. Or we can share it, like when Marty and his back-ups shared the Jennings. One of us wil be Marty and the other, Mike Dunham. I call dibs on Marty! (*shudder* I hope to never find myself saying that again.)
I call dibs on Marty!
But I don’t own a Dunham sweater. Which would make it hard to be him. Brodeur on the other hand… But he’s FAT. I don’t want to be fat. muuuuuuuuuuuh.
Staffy: Pommerdoodle, what is it? Timmy fell down the well?
:^*********
That’s the emoticon for “Amy just made me laugh so hard a lot of the soft tissue in my head came out my nose.”
Brodeur on the other hand… But he’s FAT. I don’t want to be fat.
Please. Marty prefers the term “Rubensesque”. Or “Barrelesque.”
Pookie, you should keep Mags’ award. You won it first.
Marty prefers the term “Rubensesque”. Or “Barrelesque.”
Marty can kiss my skinny white ass on this one. He’s fat.
Marty can kiss my skinny white ass on this one. He’s fat.
So he enjoys the odd honeyed dormouse from time to time, can you blame him?
Or the odd honeyed HOG……not ham I said HOG.
not ham I said HOG.
It’s part of Marty’s contract that there is always a roast hog on the training table for him.
mmmm…roast hog…
By the way, all of this doesn’t mean I don’t love him dearly. He can be as fat as he likes as long as he plays well.
And Marty eats that hog in one bite, like a cartoon character. It’s actually kind of nauseating for the other guys. When Lou’s like, “Guys, why aren’t you digging into this glorious training-table spread?” they all make a show of looking full, saying stuff like, “Oh man, I already ate back at the hotel…” Marty just shrugs them off and says happily, “More for me then!”
By the way, all of this doesn’t mean I don’t love him dearly. He can be as fat as he likes as long as he plays well.
Of course! We kid because we love! (And because he drinks three Sprites a game.)
By the way, all of this doesn’t mean I don’t love him dearly. He can be as fat as he likes as long as he plays well.
Sorry, Mags. Marty Brodeur’s a busy guy–I’m pretty sure when he encounters a long comment thread such as this one he reads the first 300 comments before stopping abruptly.
Marty Brodeur’s a busy guy–I’m pretty sure when he encounters a long comment thread such as this one he reads the first 300 comments before stopping abruptly.
He is a superstar and all. I mean, if it was, say, Clemmer we were making fun of he’d probably still be poring over the comments with his magnifying glass. But yeah, Marty can’t be bothered to read past 300.
“…he reads the first 300 comments before stopping abruptly.”
Good, then Marty will see that he and I are of the same mind, that roast hog is delectible. It’s important that he knows that.
andrew, he’s not sharing with you, so you can just give up now, okay?
And because he drinks three Sprites a game./i>
I did that just once, just to see what it’d be like. And then I decided that I wasn’t going to follow Marty on this one.
Marty Brodeur’s a busy guy–I’m pretty sure when he encounters a long comment thread such as this one he reads the first 300 comments before stopping abruptly.
Too bad. He’s missing out.
I wonder if he’s coming over to kiss that ass of mine though…
BAD MAGS BADBADBAD MAGS.
Then he will not have any of mine! hmph!
Marty doesn’t share ANYTHING. Not his starting spot, not his limelight and especially not his fucking food.
or his name….THAT IS MARTY…THE. ONLY. MARTY. EVER.
He shares Conn Smythes.
Earl. Kiss. My. Ass.
And Jenningses…
I did that just once, just to see what it’d be like. And then I decided that I wasn’t going to follow Marty on this one.
Well, some goalies, like Giggy, have a drinking problem in that they dehydrate. Marty’s drinking problem stems from concern that he’s losing some of his glorious rolls of fat while he’s playing. The Sprite helps combat his weight loss. (Oh, and I love that you tried it. I so totally would too, if I was at all athletically inclined.)
A.oil, you’re so right! And while he definitely prioritizes that way right now, he might put his starting spot after the “especially” if the Devils actually bothered getting a guy who might challenge him for it. His commitment to being in the Devils net for 80 games a season from now until the end of time is the only thing that could get him to share his food.
Whether he knows it or not, he shares STD’s.
Whether he knows it or not, he shares STD’s.
How do you know?
Whether he knows it or not, he shares STD’s.
Thank you for bringing this to a WHOLE new level of gross. My mind is so warped right now I am trying to figure out which ones he has that bother him the most…..Gah.
“How do you know?”
Bad run-in with him back in 2004. Real bad.
Andrew seems to have very close and personal knowledge of Marty.
Bad run-in with him back in 2004. Real bad.
I knew I should’ve added “don’t tell me if it’s TMI”
“Andrew seems to have very close and personal knowledge of Marty.”
He prefers to be called Martin. Sorry IPB, you’ve been defending him and his nickname without knowing the truth.
Everything with Andrew turns into TMI…..remember Shag, Marry Destroy?
He prefers to be called Martin.
And his French is sorta sexy.
He prefers to be called Martin. Sorry IPB, you’ve been defending him and his nickname without knowing the truth.
Once again I find out one of my heroes has feet of clay.
“Everything with Andrew turns into TMI…..remember Shag, Marry Destroy?”
You asked for that one Oil. I was happy to stay the hell away from that game!
I was unaware you were going to screw Crunchy because “from behind” he looke more like a girl.
I was unaware you were going to screw Crunchy because “from behind” he looke more like a girl.
…
Ok. I got nothing.
haha…yeah, not my finest moment. But hey, you told me to play. You can’t expect me to lie!
And besides, Crunchy has beautiful hair.
Ok. I got nothing.
Awww, does somebody have a case of the Kevin Lowes?
andrew, that was one of my all-time favorite IPB comments, to be honest. I just love when the bar for vulgarity gets raised, because I generally keep myself on a short leash here. But when you go and say a thing like that, I’m thinking “Yup, we’re getting primed here to start sharing Boomer’s Gary Thorne/Steve Yzerman jokes…”
More a case of IPB Blew Up My Brain.
You can’t expect me to lie!
IPB is always about the truth. Truths like Patrik Elias has a henchoyster.
Awww, does somebody have a case of the Kevin Lowes?
ZING!
But when you go and say a thing like that, I’m thinking “Yup, we’re getting primed here to start sharing Boomer’s Gary Thorne/Steve Yzerman jokes…”
Not only am I curious about these legendary jokes, I can’t wait to see what it will finally take to prove we are worthy of them.
I just love when the bar for vulgarity gets raised
I am always holding back, I am afraid of offending all the delicate GR’s out there.
But when you go and say a thing like that, I’m thinking “Yup, we’re getting primed here to start sharing Boomer’s Gary Thorne/Steve Yzerman jokes…”
With a teaser like that…
I bet Boomer’s jokes are worth a post of their own.
Aw, just as things are getting raunchy around here, it’s time for me to leave work! Have a great Friday afternoon, everyone!
“I just love when the bar for vulgarity gets raised, because I generally keep myself on a short leash here.”
If you ever need to ratchet up the general vulgarity and boorishness around here, I will do my best.
OH God, don’t get Andrew and I started.
I am always holding back, I am afraid of offending all the delicate GR’s out there.
Let ‘er rip. I need to bleach out my brain any way, and why not REALLY make it worth the trouble.
Later Pooker
See you around Pookie.
“OH God, don’t get Andrew and I started.”
Seriously, I know I make an off-color comment once in a while around here, but if you want the floodgates open….
Are you insinuating that I am worse then YOU???
O you two. Stop threatening and do it. Jordi has already stuck a terrifying Pronger /Parros visual on me. How much worse can it get? (I’m just setting myself up for this now aren’t I?)
OMG! Go to work for a few hours and all hell breaks loose! Sweet merciful heavens! 50 MILLION DOLLARS?!
No, I wasn’t suggesting that Oil, but it sounds like you’re ready to prove it!
OMG! Go to work for a few hours and all hell breaks loose! Sweet merciful heavens! 50 MILLION DOLLARS?!
Kate, we’ve moved on. Sorry.
“Kate, we’ve moved on. Sorry.”
not really! I am still a little traumatized by the whole thing.
OMG! Go to work for a few hours and all hell breaks loose! Sweet merciful heavens! 50 MILLION DOLLARS?!
That used to be the big news of the day, Katebits, but now we are grappling with the even more shocking revelation that Boomer tells unfit-to-print Yzerman/Thorne jokes.
Well, the THREAD has. I’m not sure Oil is quite over it either.
andrew, I am attempting to work here and you are distracting me.
Duuuude. Well, andrew, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’d rather have Vanek for 7 than S,PW for 7.
I’m sorry Mags and Oil and everyone else who hates Sabres talk. I won’t monopolize for too long, BUT HOLY HELL!
“andrew, I am attempting to work here and you are distracting me.”
well, I am a handsome devil.
Sorry Oil. I’m sure this has been a very disturbing day for you!
Oh we already voted. We think the Oilers were fucktards for offering and the Sabers fucktards for paying.
Kate, hey, it’s ok. I’m still stunned that someone would offer that sort of money to a 23 year old who really doesn’t quite get it. But it seems to have been dealt with maturely by all parties involved, so why continue?
A bunch of fucktards (except for Vanek and his agent). Whoa.
Pookie just instructed me to tell you all about Boomer and her Gary Thorne valentine to Steve Yzerman.
So, let me set the stage: Boomer is a cute, midwestern-raised, self-described “little old lady”. She’s normally pretty reserved, but every now and then she just pulls out all the stops, like the time we were watching a Red Wings game in, I think, ’98. The game was on ESPN and they were just slurping the hell out of the Wings, and this was driving Boomer nuts. So when Yzerman scored off a goal-mouth scrambling sort of play and Gary Thorne screamed (and I am not making this up), “In! In! In! Steve Yzerman!” she just lost it, and for several years after that “In! In! In!” was her go-to Yzerman joke (it ultimately got shelved in favor of her “Steve Yzerman’s metal ass” joke, in case you’re wondering).
So fast forward about 18 months — it’s Valentine season, and Boomer and I have just moved to AZ while Pookie was still at NYU. We were waiting for the finishing touches to be put on our new house and crashing at our great-aunt’s in the meantime. Living at the great-aunt’s meant that we were living an utterly cuss-free life, and after about a month of that, we were starting to get a little stir-crazy. So we decided one day to order a Martha Stewart valentine-making kit so we could make up a bunch of hockey-player-to-hockey-player valentines to send to Pookie. (You know, “Deah Gomah — you and I are BFFs! Love, Pando” sort of stuff.) We plunked ourselves down outside next to the pool, and set to work on a few benign little valentines, and all of a sudden Boomer just starts giggling uncontrollably and declares she’s making one that says, “Dear Stevie Y. I’d tell you know how much I love you but I can’t speak around your giant cock in my mouth. Love, Gary Thorne.” I can’t even tell you all how shocked — and delighted — I was in that moment. Seriously, Boomer is the coolest mom on the PLANET.
Not really. I came to terms with Lowe’s stupidity A LONG TIME AGO. Other then the long term ramifications of what this offer means on other offers, I am happy not to have Vaneck on the payroll for 7.1/yr. It isn’t like we are actually going to do anything this year. It is a wash.
Kate, if you scroll through the days comments you will find that it went on for, like, 4 hours.
I’m glad you’re happy we got him over Drury, but damn….that’s just soooo much money! $50 million buys an awful lot of hookers and blow.
Schnookie. Mags has been killed. Boome WINS.
Duuuude. Well, andrew, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’d rather have Vanek for 7 than S,PW for 7.
Katebits, I’m so proud of you! Because that is, in my opinion, the correct answer (and also probably a huge reason why the Sabres let Briere and your S, PW go in the first place).
And don’t worry about revisiting this topic — it’s one that definitely deserves discussion! (Although I agree that the whole thing seems to have been very maturely handled by everyone except Lowe, who was a fucktard to start out with.)
Boomer* even
“Dear Stevie Y. I’d tell you know how much I love you but I can’t speak around your giant cock in my mouth. Love, Gary Thorne.”
FUCKING. BRILLIANT.
I’m glad you’re happy we got him over Drury, but damn….that’s just soooo much money! $50 million buys an awful lot of hookers and blow.
When Drury was told how much hookers and blow he could buy with his new contract, he got really nervous, because that sounds really spicy. But then his agent assured him that the blow is white, so he relaxed a bit about it.
Bommer’s amazing :X.
wow this thread has taken a turn :D
Drury hires hookers so that he can practice his leadership skills on them. Skills like steely gazes and passionate speeches.
Stevie Y really brought out the best in her, but yeah, Boomer’s the bomb. (And she runs all my errands for me! What could be better?)
Oh, who are you kidding, andrew? Drury hires hookers so he can make them watch his LLWS video.
“Dear Stevie Y. I’d tell you know how much I love you but I can’t speak around your giant cock in my mouth. Love, Gary Thorne.”
I am preparing a ridiculous offer sheet for Boomer right now.
HA!! Boomer is so dirty. I love it!
I’ve sort of scrolled through the comments. Dude. I can’t even believe it. I know it was probably a stoopid move, but on a purely emotional level, I’m glad we kept him. At least we put all the “blah blah Sabres don’t take care of our stars” stuff to bed. Are we going to have enough money for Crunchy? Duuuude. How pissed are the other guys? That contract is nuts.
I am preparing a ridiculous offer sheet for Boomer right now.
I suspect you will find all offers will be matched by the -ookies.
I suspect you will find all offers will be matched by the -ookies.
Mags what do you say that we put in a offer sheet as well, we can share her.
I’m sure you have already discussed this, but how freaked are the Rangers right now? Bat those eyelashes Henrik! BAT ‘EM!
I am preparing a ridiculous offer sheet for Boomer right now.
I’ll just tell you now, Earl, I’ll match ANY offer.
Mags what do you say that we put in a offer sheet as well, we can share her.
Two against two seems much more feasible. I’m game.
At least we put all the “blah blah Sabres don’t take care of our stars” stuff to bed.
Well, you might still have an issue if you insist on pluralizing “stars”.
Katebits, the Vanek contract is, by all means, totally ridonkulous, but it’s also money the Sabres knew they were going to have to spend on him. So while secret-Captain Crunchy is probably really cranky about it, let’s face it: he’d just find something else to be cranky about if not the contract. :P (Plus, the only guys who really would have had a beef with Vanek being the highest-paid guy in the room both left as UFAs. At least this isn’t a case of a third-liner getting that kind of money. Ahem. Bobby Holik.)
Hank had better reeeeaaaally like NY. ‘Cause he’s gettin’ paid peanuts to play there!
And Boomer does rule. I’m so going to steal her idea and put it on two valentines, one to Sean Avery and one to Chris Neil. Both signed: Doc Emerick (from NBC).
No no! don’t hurt me! I clarified that it was the NBC Doc! It’s understood!
Personally, I don’t mind if the raunchiness bar is raised, but if it gets too high, I might have to save my visits for non-work hours.
Which, for my career’s sake is probably okay, but for sanity, it could be a struggle.
(Or would it be lowering the bar? I’m not sure.)
Also, Boomer is High-larious! :D
-ookies, Boomer just sounds awesome.
And whichever -ookie likes Staffy (I forget) needs to go read Garth’s latest on hockeybuzz. Staffy’s commenting on the Vanek deal / next season, and he just sounds so eager. A Staffydoodle, maybe?
Both signed: Doc Emerick (from NBC).
Pierre McGuire would have to buy a whole box of valentines to write the same thing to all his faves.
:P
Are we going to have enough money for Crunchy?
I think he’ll take a discount if he has to :D ala Brodeur.
Hee. Any valentines from Pierre?
Yes but at least Pierre’s would probably be with guys we might (or might not) understand….but Doc’s would be with the worst men imaginable….
For those of you considering making offer sheets to Boomer, it should be pointed out that she really loves living at stately IPB Manor. Sure, she could probably earn a lot more living elsewhere, but this is the household she started out with. She really wants to end her career at stately IPB Manor. And besides, I cook for her. It’ll be awfully tough luring her away. (But yes, we pay her peanuts. She’s very Lundqvisty, now that I think about it. But with a more masculine haircut.)
Pierre McGuire would have to buy a whole box of valentines to write the same thing to all his faves.
Uncle Mario will certainly give Sid an earful for that one :X
“worst men imaginable…”
I already said ‘em…Neil and Avery!
And I totally take back what I said about not stopping by during the day. I might be forced to work hard next week, but if I spend less time here, it’ll be completely involuntary.
I’ve already tried not to spend all day here, and I gave up early.
Uncle Mario will certainly give Sid an earful for that one
Mario: “Don’t put your Sidbits in there, Sidney! You have no idea what else has been in there!”
Sid, sadly: “Yes I do. Tavaresbits.”
Uncle Mario will certainly give Sid an earful for that one :X
Ew!
“Don’t put your Sidbits in there, Sidney!
:^::::::::::
Mario: “Don’t put your Sidbits in there, Sidney! You have no idea what else has been in there!”
I’m sure Mario knows whereof he speaks.
Mario: “Don’t put your Sidbits in there, Sidney! You have no idea what else has been in there!”
Sid, sadly: “Yes I do. Tavaresbits.”
:O Nasty.
Patty, we can’t make IPB too raunchy, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to come here during my workday either. So we’ll just have to keep it a tad on the wrong side of “tasteful”. (Although all bets are off with Pierre McGuire.)
And andrew, don’t think you didn’t get demerits for the Doc Emrick crack. Even with the NBC qualifier. It’s not Doc’s fault they forced him to slurp Neil like that! (And he never fell in love with Avery — he watched too much of the Rangers-Devils series last season from a NJ standpoint.)
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::;
!!!
I think the upside, is even *dirty* I am pretty sure anyone else reading could never figure it out. What IT is going beable to pick up the term Sidbits as dirty??
What IT is going beable to pick up the term Sidbits as dirty??
Considering what my workplace filter has ignored in the -ookie IM sessions, I can say that “Sidbits” has yet to earn its rightful place in the North American Lexicon of Vulgarity. But I’m working on that.
If anything, IT is probably going to get me for length of time, over content. :D
Schnookie, if Doc was harboring any regular season disdain for Avery, he sure hid it well during the Sabres/Rangers series.
He was so enamored with Avery I thought he was gonna try and sniff his breadhole just to see what he had for lunch.
Patty, I keep waiting for that hammer to drop on me, too. My employer just announced a company-wide drive to cut $1 billion from our operating costs (having already cut $1 billion last year), and I’m like, “While my salary is really just a drop in the bucket, I guess every drop counts…”
He was so enamored with Avery I thought he was gonna try and sniff his breadhole just to see what he had for lunch.
See, that’s the Sabres fan in you talking. There are tonal contexts to consider when listening to Doc. Yes, he genuinely developed a Chris Neil mancrush during the ECF (and that’s unforgiveable), but if you know your Doc you’d know the good things he said about Avery were said derisively. Besides, NBC had their script: sell the hell out of the venal guys so the ratings plummet more and we can stop airing this wretched league’s games.
See, that’s the Sabres fan in you talking.
Yeah, Andrew. Don’t you know how to “hear exactly what you want to hear” when Doc talks? That’s the Devils’ way!
Exactly, Earl! I knew you’d understand!
Oh you two….
And Schnookie, it’s not entirely the Sabres fan in me. The Sharks had to put up with that a-hole for years, so I had a good hate on for Avery long before Doc decided to tell me what his wedding tackle tastes like!
My employer just announced a company-wide drive to cut $1 billion from our operating costs
Wow, that must be a huge company. If we cut a billion in operating costs, we’d profit just from that.
I thought he was gonna try and sniff his breadhole just to see what he had for lunch
Way to bring it back around, andrew!
I had a good hate on for Avery long before Doc decided to tell me what his wedding tackle tastes like!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Nicely done!
And yeah, I can’t really defend Doc on this one. Suffice it to say, I find him every bit as annoying as everyone else does on the national-feed games, but I think part of that is that none of us ever wants to watch a game from the “impartial” (HA!) or “preset storyline” angles VS and NBC give us.
The Sharks had to put up with that a-hole for years, so I had a good hate on for Avery
Ditto for Stars fans. I’m so glad he’s in the East. I hope the Rangers love him forever and ever.
Very late to the party to say that Boomer is AWESOME.
I believe he filed for arbitration. So maybe Rangers fans can love him for an overpriced year and then the East can spit him back out into the West? Here’s hoping.
I hope the Rangers love him forever and ever.
Gee. Thanks. 8 times a year is killing me here.
Can’t we just, I don’t know, nix him altogether?
“none of us ever wants to watch a game from the “impartial” (HA!) or “preset storyline” angles VS and NBC give us.”
Like that stupid Effing decibel meter they kept trotting out in Carolina, to show us how loud their fans were? Oooohh! Lookit, those Caniacs so loud!
Can’t we just, I don’t know, nix him altogether?
Hey, whatever you wanna do. Just don’t send him back.
8 times a year is killing me here.
Sorry to be so heartless, but it’s time y’all take a turn for a while. :D
Oh man, don’t get me started on those stupid decibel meters. Because it’s so incredibly obvious they are piping in crowd noise over the actual sound of the crowd in the arena. I mean, come on. We’re not idiots.
The Sharks had to put up with that a-hole for years, so I had a good hate on for Avery
That said, there is something nice about having a very hated player on a very hated team–it makes everything seem so right and justified.
Like that stupid Effing decibel meter they kept trotting out in Carolina, to show us how loud their fans were?
*tries not to think about Anaheim’s similarly-intended decibel meter*
So maybe Rangers fans can love him for an overpriced year and then the East can spit him back out into the West? Here’s hoping.
I hope his year is so overpriced Lundy takes an offer sheet and leaves.
:X I wonder if that meter would burst in Montreal :X
none of us ever wants to watch a game from the “impartial” (HA!) or “preset storyline” angles VS and NBC give us.
For some reason, TV people of all kinds really love the “love to hate” angle. So they play up the Avery types because they think we love hating them.
I hate hating people.
“Because it’s so incredibly obvious they are piping in crowd noise over the actual sound of the crowd in the arena. I mean, come on. We’re not idiots”
I will give you that…Doc freaking cracks me up when he makes little cracks about the noise in an arena, and whether or not it’s piped in.
Kate, if you’re still here, I responded to your comment on my blog. Just FYI!
There are plenty of players I love to hate. Like Jagr. But the Sean Avery/Darcy Tucker type? Just hate. Ugh.
And the Ducks have a self-congratulatory (and totally bogus) decibel meter too? For shame. :P
That said, there is something nice about having a very hated player on a very hated team–it makes everything seem so right and justified.
While I was making my point about hating to hate people, I also typed that I kind of liked hating teams but then I thought how it’s hard to hate a team without hating people on it, so it was weakening my first argument. So I deleted all that part. :D
But I do love hating certain teams.
But the Sean Avery/Darcy Tucker type?
Hey! Bc i have to defend my Leafs, I’d like to say that Tucker, while hateable (yes i admit that), he is waaaaaay >>>>> Avery !
I will give you that…Doc freaking cracks me up when he makes little cracks about the noise in an arena, and whether or not it’s piped in.
So true! I love how much it ticks him off when arenas fake the crowd noise. He has a special axe to grind with LA and their mic’d boards.
I wonder if they had one in Nashville… :(
I have to say, as the Habs fan, Darcy Fucker isn’t as annoying as Avery. Even if he was drafted by the Habs first. Blah. He’s still a jerk and drinks coffee with Chris Neil.
The Oilers organisation are even bigger jerks. Not the players of course, K Lowe and his fucking pot garden.
As much as I hate to say it, I’m wiped out from all this talk of offer sheets, roasted hogs and fellatio. It’s naptime for Schnookie. See you all later! (And for those of you who will be signing off for the weekend, have fun!)
And the Ducks have a self-congratulatory (and totally bogus) decibel meter too? For shame. :P
Oh, it’s pretty horrid. I don’t even think they have it for bragging purposes, so much as a sign to the crowd that “hey, look, it’s time to make noise”. I dunno, any off-ice gimmick that is supposed to generate noise generally gives me the shudders.
Jordi wakes up and Schnookie knows when to run away!
What up, Jordi? I still got an hour to kill before I get to ditch work.
That’s one hour more than me! Wait, you’re ditching work? For what? Social life?
And the Ducks have a self-congratulatory (and totally bogus) decibel meter too? For shame.
Do you mean the bogus cartoon-y one on the Jumbotron? Don’t all arenas have that? If not, I’m embarrassed because we have one, too.
I think the one during Carolina’s run was an actual decibel meter. Which is even more annoying than the cartoon-y ones on the Jumbotron.
RE: Thomas Vanek: at least we almost signed someone. We need a team Lowe. Not Ikea coat racks.
We need a team Lowe. Not Ikea coat racks.
Haha. Sure, you have to put the players together yourself, but they’re much cheaper that way.
Do you mean the bogus cartoon-y one on the Jumbotron?
We might have that, but during these last playoffs there was a handheld one, also, that they would film and put up on the jumbotron. To boost its morale, they would also get b-list UFC celebrities to hoist said device as well.
Pretty much I try to be as quiet as I can whenever specifically prompted to make noise.
To boost its morale, they would also get b-list UFC celebrities to hoist said device as well.
Wouldn’t, say, a lady taking off her clothes be more successful?
Haha. Sure, you have to put the players together yourself, but they’re much cheaper that way.
It could pay off! The Sedins were found hiding behind the bedding furniture!
“Pretty much I try to be as quiet as I can whenever specifically prompted to make noise.”
Earl! You rebel!
To boost its morale, they would also get b-list UFC celebrities to hoist said device as well.
Wow, not even the a-list UFC? I would think that would hurt its morale.
RE: Thomas Vanek: at least we almost signed someone.
Boy, that first Oiler telecast is really going to be something, eh? I can’t wait for when they profile the players that were almost signed, along with a nice Nylander-Vanek montage.
Bruins ink Bitz!
*hopingtostartanotherfirestorm*
I can’t wait for when they profile the players that were almost signed, along with a nice Nylander-Vanek montage.
That would be hilarious!
I wonder what Bitz’s bits are called…
I wonder what Bitz’s bits are called…
Hee. Bitzbits, of course!
There’s an audio interview with Lowe posted on NHL.com. It’s long, about 30 min. He talks about the whole Vanek fiasco and about the Nylander fiasco. Fiascos abound.
He said, more or less, that the Sabres were out of line when they said that they’d target EDM’s RFA’s from now on. What a turd.
Stars sign Brad Winchester, whom even the Oilers didn’t want. Great.
Wow. I’ll have to check that out when I get home. Does Lowe call them fiascos himself? Should he really be talking about it? Have they taken away his keys yet?
(They might ought to take away his tie and his belt and his shoestrings.)
He said, more or less, that the Sabres were out of line when they said that they’d target EDM’s RFA’s from now on.
Umm, Kevin. Seriously, you don’t need to take a half-hour of your time to demonstrate your deperate short-sightedness and aim-for-the-moon attempts at team building strategy. We get it already.
“Whaaaat? RFA offer sheets are a two-way street? That’s way out of line!”
No, I don’t think he specifically calls them fiascos. But we can’t start splitting hairs here!
I don’t know if he should be showing his face so soon. But it’s just a radio call-in interview. It’s not like he has to go toe-to-toe with that dickhole Bucky Gleason.
Have they taken away his keys yet?
They’d better, before he gets desperate enough to offer Ladislav Smid a $100 million extension.
They’d better, before he gets desperate enough to offer Ladislav Smid a $100 million extension.
He has to do something!
HAHAHA you’d think Lowe would be smart enough to realize what befell Philly after Kesler would befall him, except 100x more bc he offered Vanek that much more.
actually. i wouldn’t think. never mind.
DAMNIT. no more Lundy offer sheets :(
According to John Dellapina’s Blueshirt Blog, at the NY Daily News… RANGERS took lundqvist to arbitration (not the other way around :x hmmm)
Stupid move, on Rangers’ part, bc arbitrator’s gonna look at the two Vezina nods, plus that Toskala (you can say similar stats here ish…:|) just got 4 mil as an extension… that Lundqvist will definitely get 3.5 if not 4+
Although of course, I could be wrong…
You can’t send an offer sheet to a player going to arbitration?
Shoot. I was really hoping somebody would do that to the Rangers. But hey, maybe they’ll screw themselves. :P
No, you can’t Kate. That’s why all of Ottawa’s RFAs can’t be tendered. All three of them filed for arbitration.
I believe you can tender an offer up until the arbitration hearing takes place though.
Rats.
I believe you can tender an offer up until the arbitration hearing takes place though.
Can you really? I know the team and the player can still come to a contract deal, but I always thought if you go to arbitration, no other teams can offer an offer sheet :X
Oh, this could be very good new. Arbiters are nasty when awarding contracts–I would second Vinny’s guess at the dollar comparables and the dollar amounts.
See? This is why it doesn’t pay to be a fourth Vezina nominee! Thanks for neglecting Giguere in such considerations, east coast media!
Don’t quote me on it. I am notorious for pulling facts out of thin air and claiming them to be true. so I could be wrong.
Either way the Rangers are gonna get fooked in that Lundqvist arbitration.
Oh, this could be very good new. Arbiters are nasty when awarding contracts–
I’m hoping :D Nasty on the part of the Rangers though. Not Lundqvist. I’m hoping the Rangers will fail to use his crappy first half of season as leverage.
On that note, I’m going to take my leave to go out for dinner. Have fun :)
bye Vinny. get somethin’ good to eat!
How much trouble are the Rangers actually in with their cap? I really want the Rangers to suck next year, and I’m willing to make out with the Leafs if it helps to make that dream a reality.
OK, I’m out too! Catch you all at the Souray press conference (not sure when that will be, but I’m fairly sure it will involve lengthy explanations about how he almost became an Oiler)!
Bye Vinny. Have a delicious dinner.
“I’m willing to make out with the Leafs if it helps to make that dream a reality.”
Kate, C’mon over here and sit with me for a second. we’re going to have to talk about your Sabres-fan-street-cred.
Statements about making out with the Leafs are troublesome to say the least. Now, I hate the Rangers as much as the next guy, and IPB’s hatred of them is truly inspiring. But, that is a big rivalrly between those two teams. Now, being a Sabres fan it is your duty, nay, your obligation to hate the Leafs. You must not make out with them Kate.
That being said, I understand you’re new to the world of hockey rivalry hatred, and that’s cool. I only ask you, hate the Leafs. Hate them bad.
See ya Earl. Have a good weekend.
Stupid move, on Rangers’ part, bc arbitrator’s gonna look at the two Vezina nods, plus that Toskala (you can say similar stats here ish…:|) just got 4 mil as an extension… that Lundqvist will definitely get 3.5 if not 4+
I agree. Other comparables I suppose would be Miller, DiPietro, etc., I suppose? I bet Meehan tries to use Luongo as comparable. Can he do that? This could get ugly.
Meehan can use anyone he wants as a comparable, it just depends on whether or not the stats back it up. Remember last season the arbitrator used Martin Havlat as a comparison for Briere’s ruling.
Now, being a Sabres fan it is your duty, nay, your obligation to hate the Leafs. You must not make out with them Kate.
But ANDREW! They stole my sexy, passionate warrior! They took him away. I need to hate over this. There is hate in my heart over the loss of my S,PW. It has to be allotted to someone, and I choose the Rangers. Rational? no, I adnmit it’s not rational. The heart hates who the heart hates, andrew.
That being said, you make some good points. My already feeble street cred cannot withstand further hobbling. Fine. I won’t make out with the Leafs. There is no need for my hatred of the Rangers to interfere with my inherited hatred of the Leafs. I haven’t watched any Sabres/Leaf games, so I don’t really know what we’re dealing with here, but I will trust your judgment. I won’t make out with the Leafs. I simply need to generate more hate.
Don’t worry, I’m up to the task.
haha! Nice rebuttal Kate.
Don’t worry, I’ll round up the other Sabres fans here…we’ll all work through this together.
Well, I’m off work! Time to get out and brave the heat (it was 105 today. Kidding me?!).
Have a great weekend everyone!
see ya Andrew!
Meehan can use anyone he wants as a comparable, it just depends on whether or not the stats back it up.
Well, while this is in part an example of “lies, damn lies, and statistics” I would certainly use Luongo if I were Meehan. Obviously Luongo had more years of experience, a greater body of work so to speak, but the statistics are similar enough that they might well be worthwhile.
*sniff* where did y’all go?
As for Lundqvist, I hope he gets a real mother of a payday. Not only does he deserve it, it would really fuck with the Ranger’s already screwed up salary cap. And that would make me happy.
Hi, I’m back! I’m so sorry I missed Jordi there right as I was going to sleep, too. We need to not have her living on the other side of the planet, I think.
So. Rangers are taking Hank to arbitration. I can only hope this goes “Tommy Salo” well, where Hank’s people says to the arbiter, “Henrik has won at every level he’s played. Except juniors, World Championships, the Olympics and the NHL.” And then Slats will rip a whole through Hank so huge Lundqvist actually cries. (Okay, that’s not at all what I want to have happen, but that arbitration still stands as the funniest ever. I mean, Mike Milbury made Tommy Salo cry. That’s just too good.) What’s so fantastic about them taking him to arbitration is that they’re admitting the sides aren’t even close. So while it’s likely he’s going to get a pretty big award, there’s no way in hell he walks out of there feeling good about the team and management. Heh. Way to go out of your way to end up disgruntling your most important player and the cornerstone of your franchise, Slats! Hope Drury and Gomez are worth it!
Meehan can use anyone he wants as a comparable, it just depends on whether or not the stats back it up.
Well, this is mostly true. Because arbitration is only available to restricted free agents, a player or team can only use other RFA contracts as basepoints for their salary argument.
So one cannot point to the Bertuzzi UFA contract, for example, or the entry-level Crosby contract, for a comparable, but there are still many RFA contracts to point to, one of which now will be Vanek’s monster signing.
Katebits, Andrew is right, you do need to continue to hate the Leafs. But the Rangers are so vile, surely you can continue to hate them too. It will be easier, when the season starts, to find it in your heart to hate them both, don’t worry. One eyeful of Darcy Tucker, and the Leaf hate will pour like Niagra Falls. And then on eyeful of your ex-S,PW in that hideous monstrosity of a sweater, and your hate will be able to power the Empire State Building. Don’t worry.
“Henrik has won at every level he’s played. Except juniors, World Championships, the Olympics and the NHL.”
Well, Lundqvist did win Olympic gold, but while your fact-checking is a little suspect, take heart in knowing that the GM will not be mentioning international accomplishments anyway. They only award based on what a player’s done in the NHL.
I know Hank has won. I was just calling back to what Tommy Salo’s own representation in his arbitration said. :-)
Dude, Tommy Salo won the Olympics. Poor guy! (wasn’t this when he was with the Isles though? I seem to remember this vaguely)
I know! Salo couldn’t get respect from his own people. No wonder he cried. (Yeah, it was when he was with the Isles. Never a dull moment with them, eh?)
Arbitration sounds really gross. I’m not into it at all.
OK, Schnookie, I’ll give you a pass on this one, but
:>
: o)
(This is a tough emoticon to explain. In the first “panel”, I am pointing at my two eyes with my index and middle finger. In the second “panel”, now I am pointing as Schnookie’s lazy fact-checking.)
It’s so sad. Goalies always take crap. ;P
Poor Salo. I’d cry too if I had to listen to my boss talk about how much money I’m not worth. Ouch.
Thanks Earl. (Although I’ll point out that Schnookie’s lazy fact-checking knew Hank won the Olympics, but overlooked that for the sake of the Salo comparison. My lazy fact checking will not be making that same mistake twice!) I love the finger-pointing-at-eyes emoticon, by the way.
I think arbitration would be immeasurably awful. Although every year I go in for my performance review expecting my boss to say, “Well, you never do any work, you’re goofing off on the internet all day, and I don’t think you’ve put in a full 40-hour workweek all year,” and instead they say stuff like, “You’re amazing. Let’s pay you more.” So maybe I should take them to arbitration…
I think arbitration would be immeasurably awful. Although every year I go in for my performance review expecting my boss to say, “Well, you never do any work, you’re goofing off on the internet all day, and I don’t think you’ve put in a full 40-hour workweek all year,” and instead they say stuff like, “You’re amazing. Let’s pay you more.” So maybe I should take them to arbitration…
Oh Schnookie, you’re far too humble for your own good :P
If it were anything like the NHL arbitrations, your boss would present evidence of what a slacker you are, you would argue about why you’re awesome and the arbitrator would clearly not be paying attention, look at the person closest to you and go “What’re you guys paying that guy? Pay her that”.
So maybe I should take them to arbitration…
Even better, you could just flat-out sit out until they meet your nonsense contract demands. You ever met (insert least-favorite player agent here)?
Actually, I’d try my hand at arbitration too. Those bastards don’t appreciate me….(shifty eyes).
I’m still dizzy from Vanek. I can’t buh-lieve it.
I know. It’s sort of mad. I mean, you know it’s mad if your 80 year old grandma calls YOU to talk about how crazy it is.
Your grandma sounds awesome. All my grandma likes to talk about is Korean Soap Operas and passive-aggressively gossip about people we know :P
Your grammie called about Vanek, Mags? :P
My gran is a Habs fan. She eats hockey for breakfast.
All my grandma likes to talk about is Korean Soap Operas and passive-aggressively gossip about people we know :P
Sherry, I’m sure with the signing of a $50M contract, your grandma may have been gossiping today about the marriage-eligibility of a certain Mr. Vanek.
Sherry, I’m sure with the signing of a $50M contract, your grandma may have been gossiping today about the marriage-eligibility of a certain Mr. Vanek.
Word.
Sherry, I’m sure with the signing of a $50M contract, your grandma may have been gossiping today about the marriage-eligibility of a certain Mr. Vanek.
True. But she’s already made it clear to me I wasn’t allowed marrying a non-Asian. Chinese, to be specific.
I wonder how many players that go for arbitration leave their team the first chance they get. It just seems like the arbitration process would make any player hate their GM.
Maybe have hit the ‘enter’ button too soon
^is the only acceptable option.
I wonder how many players that go for arbitration leave their team the first chance they get. It just seems like the arbitration process would make any player hate their GM.
I know, I’ve been thinking about this too. Honestly, the whole process can’t inspire a very friendly relationship. It’s like you boss saying “Listen, we think he really sucks, and we don’t really want him, but here he is and we have to pay him. But as little as possible please”. Very nice.
Totally Patty. Everyone around Buffalo talks about arbitration as the beginning of the end for Briere. Everyone came away all frothy and hurt.
I wonder how many players that go for arbitration leave their team the first chance they get. It just seems like the arbitration process would make any player hate their GM.
Patty, I lack the data to answer this one easily, but it’s not a bad question. Rarely does it seem that players and teams come out lovey-dovey, but arbitration also means that the player will be hitting unrestricted free agency for the first time soon (usually in a year), and it may make sense to move a player or for a player to leave anyway.
But if I find myself especially unlazy one day, I may go hunting. Not that many players go through arbitration in a given year; it’s not that tall a task to see what happened to them when their year was up.
Do it Earl. This sort of statbitty detective work is right up your alley.
Dude, Earl, no data? You’ve gotta be kidding me. You have data on EVERYTHING.
But if I find myself especially unlazy one day, I may go hunting.
I soooo wanted to say, look that up, Earl. But I figured I’d make it look like it was your own idea. :D
Honestly, the whole process can’t inspire a very friendly relationship.
Definitely more often than not the relationship sours. Which is why, last year when the Senators had that boatload of RFAs to deal with, I freaked out when all of them filed for arbitration, but they all managed to sign before the hearing. Credit Muckler for getting that done. He also turned around and quickly shipped Hossa out of town after the arbitrator gave him a nice pay-raise, so I guess that’s always an option if there are hurt feelings from the process. Sort of a final “Screw you!”
He also turned around and quickly shipped Hossa out of town after the arbitrator gave him a nice pay-raise, so I guess that’s always an option if there are hurt feelings from the process. Sort of a final “Screw you!”
Sad shades of Vishnevski. I’m missin’ ya, Vishdog.
Vishdog misses you, too Earl.
Well, Vishnevski had it coming, being all Russian and not Bertuzzi and all. That’s one thing about Burke–he’s so maddeningly predictable!
Yeah, with a guy like Burke in charge it’s a lot easier knowing which guys are safe to get attached to.
There’s been a lot made about how teams might start “copying the Ducks” now, but in a lot of ways, nobody’s copying the Ducks more than Burke himself. Top puck-moving defenseman? Check. Bruising forward? Check. North American? Check check.
It’s a bit of overkill, but I’m interested to see how this thug Ducks team turns out. Penalty box seats are looking better than ever.
There’s been a lot made about how teams might start “copying the Ducks” now, but in a lot of ways, nobody’s copying the Ducks more than Burke himself.
Maybe Burkey’s just doing it to screw with all of the biters that are copying him. He’d be crazy enough to do it.
Anyhoos, it’s Friday night and I’m stuck at home bored out of my wits because I have to go to work tomorrow, bah. I’m off to be a Guitar Hero now :)
The imitation Ducks is going to be a very interesting phenomenon. I just love the thought of teams without two Norris winners, a Conn Smythe-winning goalie and serious mix of skill up front thinking they can just go “thug” and win. Man, if Bobby Clark was still GMing, just imagine how far back he’d be willing to set the Flyers in an effort to draw from the Ducks’ example…
Good luck Guitar Hero-ing, Sherry! Rock out!
You’re right, Schnookie, that is true. The fact that the Ducks led the league in penalty minutes and fighting majors is a facet of the team, and sure it has its “benefits”, I suppose (if you can kill penalties), but it’s getting way overplayed by GMs, I think.
It’s not that high on the list of why the Ducks were a winning team, though.
Well, you should be careful nonetheless — you never know when Kevin Lowe is going to get it into his head to steal your most important cog: Parros. Because it was ham-fisted goonery that won that Cup, we all know it!
Hell, I want some draft picks and salary relief. $50 million to Dustin Penner, Lowe. Do it. Do it now.
Lowe’s like, “Don’t tempt me, Sleek!”
O he knows he wants it. That Lowe. Besides, Penner would add unity (or so his number suggests. Yes, I’ve been reading numerology again)
aww you guys let’s cut Lowe some slack, low ass that he is, from a purely business standpoint, it was a good move :X.
by the way, the Rangers by my calculation have something like 45.5 mil tied up. That’s without an Avery raise, without Lundqvist raise, and without Hossa raise. And nothing to count for Shanahan either :x.
hee that’s technically a max of four something.
Suckahs :D
So, some Eklund food for thought (or is it a quest for ratings?): Selanne to Philadelphia (e4). Insane.
i think that guy just thought the afternoon was too slow in news XD
Selanne to Philly? I’d put money on that!
Wow, that Eklund.
Like I said to Mags: but seriously, how does a guy go from “I want to retire on top” to “I should play a year with the Flyers”. Is he nuts?
It would be quite the swing in policy.
Yeah and I practically had a coronary trying to imagine how someone could drop that far in intelligence. That’s like going down the evolutionary chain.
I don’t think anyone ever accused Teemu of being a supergenius, though…
I will say this: if Selanne does decide it’s in his best interest to sign with Philadelphia in particular, be warned. It may result in future-daughter-Teemu feeling a little less future-loved.
It may result in future-daughter-Teemu feeling a little less future-loved.
I wish you the best of luck in explaining that one =|
Poor little future Teemu! She’s going to be kicked around by her younger, more beloved sister Schneidermayer.
Wow. The blog ma’am killed it.
I killed it but good.
It’s like PJ: Good… And dead.
awww REVIVE REVIVE :X call 911?
haha Mags i’m still laughing hilariously over imagining K.Lowe’s night :X.
Lots of bubbly i think.
Vinny and I are discussing what Lowe must be thinking atm. Actually, it’s most Vinny envisioning him dealing with all the animals-of-affairs. Killer.
Not just any ordinary bubble. Them Californians are so stacked they’d be sending him cases of Crystal (which incidentally, is not the best bubbly I feel)
in my attempt to revive IPB XD Mags and I were talking about K.Lowe’s night :D and she suggested I share:
Mags: you know, I wonder what Lowe is thinking right now
Vinny: ‘HEE I FUCKED THE SABRES. HEE!’ ‘*accepts some under-the-table money from vanek agent*
Mags: hehehe I know! That’s what I was thinking!
Mags: FINALLY that and I bet he’s wondering who to piss off next
Vinny: ‘boxworthy? yes yes so looking at my schedule, i’m booked full until the 12th. which should work out fine you know? Bc i’m sure Darcy will be done by then. Good. Great. Parise at 48 mil? Sure. Leak it.’
Mags: hehehehehe Lou would lose it in a HUGE way
Mags: but never let on
Vinny: *another bottle of bubbly later*
‘hi! you’re Mr.Penner’s bulldog-of-affairs? Bullworthington? All right then, if you’re sure 30 mil would do it? Would a longer deal be better? No? you’re sure?’
Vinny: ‘oohhhh and more bubbly to compensate for the quote-worthy day Mr.Burke and Mr.Carlyle will give me? how generous!’
Mags: You should post those things on IPB btw
basically :X
I’m giggling, and my mom is looking at me like I’m a freak.
Mags :X what IS the best bubbly?
I haven’t the foggiest. But Crystal made me feel sick.
hi! you’re Mr.Penner’s bulldog-of-affairs? Bullworthington?
A bulldog is perfect! And you’ve even ballparked the salary offers very well! Can’t wait!
Nice one, Vinny! I have no doubt that’s exactly what’s going on at stately Lowe Manor. He better be careful of messing with the Devils — it’s not just Lou he’s going to piss off. The Captain my have to send his henchoyster to break some kneecaps in Edmonton if Zach accepts an offer sheet.
The Captain my have to send his henchoyster to break some kneecaps in Edmonton
“Excuse me, Master Lowe. Would you mind lowering your kneecap to oyster-level? Splendid.”
:^:::::::::
hahaha we were saying K.Lowe is just systematically driving up RFAs’ prices. I’m very sorry Svatos and Lundqvist didn’t want to partake in such black-market activities. They must have very angelic and moral (albeit very fiscally stupid) animals-of-affairs.
i couldn’t think of any other RFAs that didn’t go to arbitration :X
There’s no need. I think Lowe in a drunken fit of absolute insanity probably broke his own knee-caps because he mistook them for Nylander’s agent or something.
Bullworthington?! LOVE IT! That’s so what Penner would hire as his creature-of-affairs. We’ve been watching “Man vs. Wild” on Discovery (when does the season start again?); tonight’s episode is about surviving the Australian outback. As a result of watching, Schnookie’s discovered that Lou has a brain-eating koala bear as his man-of-affairs. It looks cute, which snookers other GMs in for a trade and then — BAM! — brain gets eaten.
hahaha we were saying K.Lowe is just systematically driving up RFAs’ prices.
Oh I get it. So when Lowe gets fired but then Edmonton can’t afford its kids, he still looks like a comparative genius.
Brilliant!
I think Lowe in a drunken fit of absolute insanity probably broke his own knee-caps because he mistook them for Nylander’s agent or something.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
It’s perfect!
“Excuse me, Master Lowe. Would you mind lowering your kneecap to oyster-level? Splendid.”
Either that, or the oyster carries a really big tire iron.
Oysters carry some rather remarkable things, so who knows.
Chow-dah!
Sorry, just had to throw it in with all the oyster talk.
Also… completely unrelated, but am I the only one who thinks putting together a huge concert to save the environment seems a little bit counterproductive?
Kinda like owning a Prius but playing hockey in California.
can anyone seriously think this is a hockey blog?
by reading comments?
bc i’m seriously believing this is a blog commenting on National Geographic or something.
and how everybody has an animal-of-affairs?
I dib a penguin :X
Oysters carry some rather remarkable things, so who knows.
As Patrik Elias learned the hard way.
Sherry, what are you talking about? A giant concert is just what the environment needs! It’s the healing power of music!
Kinda like owning a Prius but playing hockey in California.
Hey, that Prius gets carpooling duty :P
Hey, that Prius gets carpooling duty :P
And two of your teammates that don’t carpool negate this effort by driving a Hummer.
Because I have a thing for alpha predators, I’m going to pick a Great White Shark as my creature-of-affairs (and when the time is right he’ll take care of my destiny by eating me, of course). Sawtoothington.
Either that or I want Thunderbug.
All right then, if you’re sure 30 mil would do it? Would a longer deal be better? No? you’re sure?
Hilarious, Vinny!
I want a sheep. The jury is out with regards to the name.
I dib a penguin :X
Would you like to borrow one of my housemate’s? They’ve sort of been out of work since the season ended and I stopped needing them.
And two of your teammates that don’t carpool negate this effort by driving a Hummer.
That would be Ray on my team, although I think he’s the only one. As far as I know there are a lot of other SUVs and the typical high-end classy cars.
Aren’t there a lot of BMW’s or something on the Senators? Of course, any environmentally friendly cars on that team is just totally offset by Ray’s 1203987210398172 cars. THere was a video on youtube that listed all the cars of the Sens I think.
Would you like to borrow one of my housemate’s?
Only if I can name it Staalsie-of-Affairs ;P
Changed my mind. Beardeur all the way.
That would be Ray on my team, although I think he’s the only one. As far as I know there are a lot of other SUVs and the typical high-end classy cars.
At our one game at the Swamp this year Pookie and I stumbled upon the players’ parking lot. We were dismayed to see not a single hybrid, or even gas-mileage-friendly car (let alone low-emission). But that’s probably because all the guys who rode bicycles to the arena got to park them inside.
honestly Mags :X methinks ‘Brobear’ sounds cuddlier than ‘Beardeur’
but either way I’m glad you stuck to the goalie roots. instead of some OTHER bear you mentioned >( Silly robotic thoughts.
What? Crosbear? You’ll find he’s rather efficient. And effective at pissing off my sister.
Beardeur is a wall though. Nothing gets past that guy :P
Poor Crosbear. All he wants is to become a real bear, instead of a little wooden robot bear.
I imagine Crosbear to be a gloomy-bear type model. The whole robotic-ness would fit with it.
Speaking of which, I was thinking about doing a photo essay for my rendition of ‘Chasing Sidney’ but I unfortunately didn’t have a stuffed robot to play the leading lady. My friend suggested using one of her other penguins whom we had recently built Lego wings for. I think we’ll have to go back to the casting table for that one.
At our one game at the Swamp this year Pookie and I stumbled upon the players’ parking lot.
I’m sorry, but there’s no way I can read this without smiling and thinking “those stalkers!”
I imagine Crosbear to be a gloomy-bear type model. The whole robotic-ness would fit with it.
I can’t see the eat-children-bloodliness coming into play yet. Unless Pierre has been brainstorming him with all his Monster talk.
Use a mini-fridge as the leading lady Sherry :D
My friend suggested using one of her other penguins whom we had recently built Lego wings for.
What did this penguin do to offend? To have ones wings ripped off and replaced by Legos is a pretty rough punishment, I must say.
Oh man, speaking of which, did you see Pierre’s year-end Monster of the Year segment where they had the animated Crosby-zilla? That had me laughing for days.
Use a mini-fridge as the leading lady Sherry
All right, but I may have to fine some stunt doubles for Crosby then. Because as of kissing a girl isn’t hard enough, he may get a little intimidated by the mini-fridge’s coldness and general bulkiness.
Use a mini-fridge as the leading lady Sherry
All right, but I may have to fine some stunt doubles for Crosby then. Because as of kissing a girl isn’t hard enough, he may get a little intimidated by the mini-fridge’s coldness and general bulkiness.
*Gigglesnort*
I’m sorry, but there’s no way I can read this without smiling and thinking “those stalkers!”
I’m glad you can smile about it, because the Meadowlands security guys sure weren’t.
Hm, I’m also doing a photo essay. And when I mentioned it to Katebits a little while ago, we discovered we both had a very similar idea. I wonder if you’ve had the same idea, Sherry.
well, mine Chasing Sidney is a secret. I really do need to get knitting on that toque.
At our one game at the Swamp this year Pookie and I stumbled upon the players’ parking lot.
I actually have a similar story. When my friends and I went to Ottawa last Christmas we spontaneously decided to go to a Senators game. I had heard from one of my friends in Ottawa that if you waited at the exit to the player’s parking lot most of them would stop and sign stuff for you and take pictures. After the game, we decided to walk around on the off-chance that we find it and plus it was impossible to get out of the lot anyways.
So we found the parking lot but we stood at the other end of the fence enclosing it instead of going down to the exit. We stood there for maybe a good 10 minutes debating what we should do and we left after we felt extremely stalker-ish. We did get to see the Tampa players get on the bus though. Of course while I was waving I ended up tripping on the curb. Smooth.
We did get to see Ray’s hummer while we were there. It sticks out like a sore thumb and there were definitely a lot of BMWs.
:^::::::::
I’ll just uhh.. be a spectator on all this Chasing Sidneyness :D.
and on that note, I’m off to bed :)
‘Nite everyone!
Replying very late to an old comment, but Sherry don’t worry about your driving test. If you keep it on the DL, I’ll let you in on a little secret.
…I technically failed my driver’s test 3 times. =X
Technically 3, but I ended up getting it on the 3rd time. This girl just can’t parallel park and has nerves of a wet noodle. The first time was parallel parking gone bad which led to automatic failure. The second time was p.p. and I’m not sure what else. Third, p.p. and somehow the e-brake was pulled up (of course I didn’t notice this and kept on driving) and that was two no-no’s which equals failure. Though, after talking to the nice I was a rocker when I was younger and I still wish I was in those times, DMV tester guy he eventually decided to pass me since I stated that I never pulled it up and he never did and we couldn’t figure out how it happened. Anyone else would have failed me like they rightfully should have.
I’m really not a bad driver. I just can’t parallel park if the space isn’t big enough for me to pull into normally and sometimes I psych myself out with stress. Although, if I were in any other state I would be considered to be a stark raving mad lunatic, but claim that the drivers of the state I’m in to be the horrible drivers. Ummm, PA(sorry if any of you live there)? Oookies, can you back me up on this one?
On a totally random note, after watching Harry Potter tonight, I think that Chasing Sidney has the potential to be hilarious if it was modeled after the HP series.
ookies* One too many o’s, I think the capitalization of the “o” screwed me up.
Genna sounds like me. I failed my test 3 times too… and I have the nerves of a wet noodle when I’m driving…
HP is out already? When did I miss this.
Oh I wish it was. It was the first HP movie being played on ABC Family, haha.
I wonder if you’ve had the same idea, Sherry.
Haha, well I was initially just going to go with an old-fashioned screenplay until somebody suggested a photo essay since I have quite an array of penguins in the house to choose from. Unfortunately, if I can’t find a leading lady I’ll just stick with the screen play.
To have ones wings ripped off and replaced by Legos is a pretty rough punishment, I must say.
Actually, she didn’t have her wings ripped off. We just built her new ones so they’re better.
The one my housemate suggested was actually the one I used as Marc-Andre Fleury in my penguins posts. So unless the role-players are actually onto something, I ought to look elsewhere.
I’m really not a bad driver. I just can’t parallel park if the space isn’t big enough for me to pull into normally and sometimes I psych myself out with stress.
Oh man, I stress out so much when I’m driving and it psyches me out so bad. My parallel parking isn’t actually bad, it’s one of the few things that I did right, actually. It’s an automatic fail if you do two things wrong here and I’m pretty sure I accomplished that before I even left the lot.
Of course while I was waving I ended up tripping on the curb. Smooth.
Hee hee! I love it! I bet the Leafs did, too. (And yes, Pookie and I felt sufficiently stalker-ish while wandering past the guys’ cars. But that didn’t stop us from surreptitiously glancing in to see who had what kinds of stuff rattling around their front seats. Let me tell you, the Devils are all a lot neater in their cars than I am.)
Genna, I’m with you that PA drivers are insane. It’s because they get licensed so young — I remember all the Bucks County based kids in my high school class got to drive a year earlier than I did.
Oh, and good night, Vinny!
I think “Oookies” is acceptable. I read right past it and didn’t flinch.
I just wanted to let everyone know that if I never return, it’s because the stench involved in packing two goalie bags has killed me.
Wish me luck.
Go get ‘em, Mags!
Good luck Mags! Remember to take Febreeze! Or dryer sheets work too!
Good luck, Mags!
And Oookies is just the extra-ooky -ookies. We’re cook with that.
Ugh, PA drivers are terrible! TERRIBLE! I drive 50 miles to work each day, and I tremble in fear whenever I see a PA license plate in my rearview mirror. One nearly drove me off the road the other day.
Sherry, I stand corrected. Our “Chasing Sidney”s should be pretty different. I need to get cracking on mine.
And just for the record, we really did not seek out the players’ lot. We literally just happened to walk past some cars on our way back to the Overpass of Death (those of you familiar with the Meadowlands know what I’m talking about).
Remember to take Febreeze!
Heaven knows I wish that still worked.
I guess my Chasing Sidney bit wasn’t too random since comments were added while I was typing that up.
I actually did quite well during the parallel parking sessions when I was doing my hours for my permit. Unfortunately, I didn’t really take anything away with me and forgot all the little tips that I was taught.
As for being a nervous wreck while driving now, not so much. In the beginning, very much so. I think that you have to grow some balls in order to drive in New Jersey, which helps you a lot when you go to other states and they all drive like morons. If it wasn’t for my sometimes cat like reflexes on the road due to learning to drive in Jersey, I’d probably have a couple deformities right now. The danger to this is, for me at least, it’s made me very jerk-like on the road. I have more road rage than any 5’2 shy Asian should, but at least I just curse like a sailor and have yet to get out of my car and beat someone up.
Schnookie, I have to drive through PA to get to my college and it’s absolutely horrible. I’m on like 80 for about 2 hours and get to end up on a 2 lane highway with everyone going the speed limit. No no this is totally wrong to follow the speed limit law. I agree with the stereotypical remarks about Jersey driving and 65 really means 80. Yes, I will tail you if you are going too slow. I will admit I have a problem of unintentional tailing, mostly due to the fact that 1) if I’m following someone then I’m afraid I’m going to lose them or 2) I don’t want you being a jackass and coming into my lane because you picked the slow one. Oh, and if you are tailing me I will either drive slow to piss you off, sometimes I get too annoyed and actually change lanes to let the person go, or I’ll drive slow and then when you change lanes to pass me I’ll speed up so you can’t.
I’m aware I have some issues.
I haven’t parallel parked since my drivers test. And I’m that slow-moving person you hate getting stuck behind; I’m so adamantly slow, actually, that I don’t bother checking my rearview mirror, so when people ride up on my tail I’m utterly oblivious. I would hate me if I had to share the road with me. (For the sakes of all the other drivers in our fine state, I make Boomer and Pookie drive me everywhere, though.)
Oh, Schnookie. My front bumper would be in the backseat of your car, but I forgive you for being a slow driver. The awesomeness of IPB balances this out and the fact that you guys are in South Jersey, is that right?
I’ve parallel parked since my drivers test, but well it takes me a couple times to do it and I usually call it quits as long as I’m in the spot somewhat decently.
Mags, I’m so happy that I’m not the only one that failed three times even if I did technically get it on that third time only making it two.
Genna reminded me, Sherry, that I never told you not to worry about your driver’s test. Don’t worry about it. :D
I failed my test twice, too, before I got my license. I had the same guy the first two times and was really not sure what I did wrong. Then I got a different guy and was so nervous about failing it a third time that I actually did worse, in my opinion, but I passed.
In general, though, I love driving. I like just driving all over Dallas on the freeways on weekends or at non-rush-hour times (when you can move). I don’t like the busy 2-lane winding highway that I have to navigate to my mom’s house, though. I’m sure I’ll be killed every time. I always seem to be on it at night, in the rain. And also fog. But otherwise I just love it.
To borrow a phrase from Katebits earlier, I would rather make out with the Leafs than have someone tailgate me on the highway. I hatehatehate that so much. I work in a town where the drivers are insane and for the most part, uninsured, a fact that has forced me to lose all my roadrage. It’s safety first all the time for me now.
And on that note, I’m heading to bed, to rest up for another day of work in TrafficAccidentLand tomorrow! Good night, everyone!
Thanks for all the kind words guys, don’t know what I’d do without you :) I’ll try not to worry about it and just hope that the next time I take my exam I go on the exact same course.
Anyways I”m going to bed now. I have to get up bright and early for another day at the office tomorrow.
Night everyone!
Ooh, one last comment before going — Patty, the WORST driving experience of my life occurred in Dallas! Schnookie and I were driving cross country, and the directions AAA gave us from the highway to the hotel involved me crossing four lanes of busy highway from one on-ramp to another over the span of less than a quarter mile. I basically had to go perpendicular to the oncoming traffic. I still have nightmares about it!
Genna, I only passed on the fourth go because my mom gave me some serious relaxants. I wasn’t stoned per se, but just mellow. I’m not that bad these days (big car, small person, it helps). And I can parallel park into the tiniest of spaces. I swear, I can fit my SUV into the same space as a Mini Cooper and I’ve never had a dent.
Good night everyone. I’m going to continue packing my entire apartment into 20 boxes. What fun.
Night Pookie! I promise never to intentionally tail an ookie. I’m still young and naive to get the impatient road rage out of my system even after I’ve had an accident (that was with me and a lamp/telephone pole)
Patty, I know what you mean. For some reason we never went to the easy testing DMV. Always the asshole one that failed me because my dad was stupid and booked my tests there since it was close to his work and he could send one of the workers there to set it up.
I failed my driving test once which is sad because Alabama doesn’t have the most stringent of driving tests. They pretty much just put anyone who can drive in a somewhat straight line on the road.
Genna, I prefer to say that we’re in Central Jersey; there really are three distinct regions in this state, aren’t there? We’re just north of Trenton. (I used to work in a call center and was told once on the phone that I have a South Jersey accent, though. Since South Jersey is essentially just Delaware, I was really curious what regional speech patterns I was displaying. Apparently South Jersey people say “right” a lot while listening to people speak. Huh. Guilty as charged. That said, I’ve never spent any time, EVER, in any part of Jersey south of Trenton, so go figure.)
‘Night, Sherry!
the directions AAA gave us from the highway to the hotel involved me crossing four lanes of busy highway from one on-ramp to another over the span of less than a quarter mile. I basically had to go perpendicular to the oncoming traffic
Yeah, that could be anywhere. :D
We have a great new highway interchange that is very cook. It’s got multicolored columns and sweeping exits and 5 levels. It’s so well-engineered, that all the congestion the old interchange used to cause is moved a mile out in all four directions. The actual interchange is always open and moving.
It’s called the High Five.
‘Night everybody!
I wish I got my license in Alabama. My college friend is from Ohio and said that they basically have the same kind of test. She told me that she didn’t even have to parallel park for hers. I think she had to do a K-turn (three point turn) and do a course with stop signs and what not.
Mags, I was shaking the first time I went for my driving test. Hardcore shaking that I wish I was mildly sedated.
I guess if even the indefatigable Mags is signing off, that means it’s time for bed! :P
‘Night all — I’ll see whomever’s here tomorrow!
Genna, that sounds exactly like Alabama’s test. No parallel parking. The three point turn was the only extra non-drivey thing required. We’re very free-spirited about who we put on the road :-)
And for the record, I think Lundy gets atleast 5 million from the arbitrator.
Schnookie, I guess there are 3 divisions of the state. I’ve always seen it as just North and South. I was going to say that most likely our paths wouldn’t cross on the road with the whole South comment I was going at, but this could be wrong. I’m in the North, so at one point we could meet on the road and if this happens you might just want to have a neon sign over the car saying “I’m an ookie! Don’t tail me Genna!” with an arrow pointing to your car. As for South Jersey, I’ve been down the shore a couple times, but that’s it.
Schnookie :P I did sleep today :P
My car’s the green Prius (classic model, not the newfangled hatchback) with a Devils bumper sticker, a bumper sticker that says “Information is the currency of democracy” and a terrapass. You can’t miss me. And unless you’re driving the 2.5-mile stretch between my house and my office, you probably are never in any danger of tailgating me! :P
I also can see how those in the South and those in the North would think NJ has only the two divisions, but those hardy few of us living in the Trenton area are adamant that we fall into neither classification. I mean, people from South and North Jersey are weird. Uh, no offense. (Many of our friends live in Montclair, and whenever we go up there it’s like visiting a different planet. I’m a Turnpike girl, so any time spent in Parkway Country is just strange for me.)
Heather, I like your call on Lundqvist. I will be morally outraged if he gets anything less than that!
And um, yeah. Totally going to bed now.
Haha, I’ll make sure I’m not tailing any Priuses like that. I’ll agree with you on South Jerseyans being weird, but can’t with North. Well….maybe just suburban North. Montclair isn’t too far away from me, maybe about 20 minutes?
Lundy should indeed get that since he could probably make more being a model than having to put up with that team.
Night, Schnookie! Night to everyone else that has already left but I forgot to say night to.
Really, I’m leaving. But I have to add that I know what you mean about how the subtle differences inside a state are huge differences for the people that live there.
For a while, I lived in Plano (a Dallas suburb) and worked in Greenville, TX (a total ‘nother town) in what is kind of East Texas, as opposed to North Texas. I swear to God, when I first started working there, with all those people who were born and raised in that town, I could not understand what they were saying! Sometimes I had to make them write it down! It’s frickin’ 50 miles from here!
I think everyone is gone, but Alabama is like that too. It’s not all fields and cows. You can go from dirt country to pretty damn ritzy in the span of 50 miles or so.
And please everyone, Buffalo is NOT NYC. That should go without saying, but you’d be surprised how many people think the whole state is just like NYC. (And okay, yes, I thought that before I visited here.)
I’m not asleep yet! I have some interesting sleeping patterns to say the least. And oh boy is the state of NY nothing like NYC. Even the cities in it aren’t up to par with the city.
You think you have a strange sleeping pattern? I’m in Europe. It’s 8am and I’ve been here on IPB since 2 am. Sleep entirely optional.
Haha. Mags, I woke up at like 5 in the morning today because I fell asleep really early the night before since I was up all night the night before that. Somehow after the sleep I got which was at least 7 hours (much more than I’m used to), I went back to sleep maybe around 11 and was on and off sleeping until like 2. I was dead tired probably because I got more than 4 hours of sleep.
To prove my strange sleeping pattern, my record for staying up was like 68.5 hours. I could have made it to 72, but I was obviously dead tired and decided to go to bed early so I could get like 8+ hours of sleep. Went to bed and then woke up 5 hours later. I should have just stayed up those extra hours to make it to 72 even though my body was literally starting to falling apart.
You guys! I am drunk.
Genna, I worked from 9-5, slept from 11-2, IPBed from 2-8 and now I’m packing up my house. I probably won’t sleep until 6 am tomorrow morning. I’m the worst insomniac.
During hazing last September I did 14 days on an average of 2 hours of sleep every night. I think we were awake non-stop for the first 3 and half days. I remember we were cleaning up after a party and I literally fell asleep on the coffee table. Just like that.
Kate. Go to bed. Friends don’t let other friends comment drunk.
Kate, that’s pretty good typing skills for someone who is drunk.
Mags, I’m a bit of an insomniac myself and nocturnal. I should quit college and just work the graveyard shift at UPS or something.
I’d lend my Gloomy Bear for the Crosbear photoshoot!. He doesn’t fit in a postpack though :(.
Um. I get home from work to find that Toby Petersen and Winny have left E-town in a trail of smoke.
Sons of bitches.
For Dallas, no less. I suppose there’s some sort of mass exodus out of Edmonton. Is there some sort of killer virus that was recently released there that only hockey players know about?
I get the feeling I’m the only one here right now. You guys have to entertain me while I’m stuck at the office, people!
I get the feeling I’m the only one here right now. You guys have to entertain me while I’m stuck at the office, people!
I’m here now, too, Sherry! And I am in desperate need of entertaining, too. I work in a town where most of the population isn’t allowed to go to the library on Saturdays, so until about noon or so, it’s as dead as dead can be here. A smart person would use this time to think about story borading out a “Chasing Sidney” photo essay (a quick shopping excursion this morning resulting in a few key characters being purchased) but I’ll probably just sit here refreshing tsn.ca until Souray signs with someone.
Whyyyyy are you people up?
work in a town where most of the population isn’t allowed to go to the library on Saturdays, so until about noon or so, it’s as dead as dead can be here.
Really? Is that some kind of rule? Sounds strict! What if somebody really desperately needed a book before noon?
A smart person would use this time to think about story borading out a “Chasing Sidney” photo essay (a quick shopping excursion this morning resulting in a few key characters being purchased) but I’ll probably just sit here refreshing tsn.ca until Souray signs with someone.
I thought about starting to write it since I’m stuck here for 7 hours but again, I’m terrified of my boss finding it and having questions I can’t really answer. He doesn’t know much about hockey though, so I may be safe.
I too will be refreshing TSN.ca just for the heck of it. If I’m bored enough, I may go into the production room and play around. I’ve sort of been hit with some inspiration on a “Best of Bryzgalov” compilation mix.
Um Lowe, we have 8 forwards. Um. Um. Um. Dude I don’t care if you guys lose your big name players, we’re losing EVERYTHING.
Bah I just finished my Saturday which was completely awesome. There was a yarn sale at the supermarket behind me that wasn’t cheap at all but I bought some colours to maybe make a Sharks scarf in the future!
Mmmmmm yarn sale….
To answer the question “Why am I up?” I have to be. Stupid work. Trust me, if I weren’t working, I’d be sleeping for easily another 3 hours.
I’m going to look like an idiot here, but I was so proud of myself that I was keeping up so well on the free agent moves, but then I finally caught up on BoC this morning and said, “Preissing’s a King?!? When did that happen?!”
I know! I liked Preissing! Now I have no Senators player I like!
To answer the question “Why am I up?” I have to be. Stupid work. Trust me, if I weren’t working, I’d be sleeping for easily another 3 hours
Amen, sister.
“Preissing’s a King?!? When did that happen?!”
You obviously haven’t been keeping up with the comments here either, Pookie! Because it was posted here as soon as it was released on TSN!
Although to be fair, I actually liked the guy and I was rather indifferent to this news myself, heh.
Wait, you get up at 9am? Oh man, I want your job. I have up at 7am and get home at 8pm.
I didn’t get UP at nine, Jordi, I had to be AT WORK before 9. And work is an hour from my house, thank you very much! I just happen to be able to get up and out the door in under 15 minutes, so I didn’t get out of bed until 7:40.
I thought I was paying attention to the comments here! I guess my little Sens boyfriend just fell through the cracks in my brain.
So you get flown in Pookie?
I can get ready in under 15 minutes as long as there is no shower involved. It tends to go better while I’m at school and I can just roll out of bed and put some clothes on. At home there are too many distractions like having to walk the dog and having a nice comfy mattress to stay on.
So you get flown in Pookie?
Wouldn’t that be nice? I realized I typed the wrong thing. I was out of bed at 7:30, and left at 7:45.
If I wasn’t awake before, I’m awake now. Awake with anger! I read some article from the Edmonton Journal about the Vanek situation. The author maintained that it would be a good plan for Lowe to make an offer for Parise becuase the Devils are hard up against the cap. What? How could this author not realize that the Devils freed up all kinds of space when Raffie and Gomez left? I love it that, even in a situation like this, the MSM just falls back on whatever the last negative thing they heard about the Devils was and then run with it.
Lay off the poor Edmonton journalists, they’re desperate and they need to pay the bills. I swear, who the fuck is Allan Rourke? Is he a baseball player or something?
Er, two seperate thought patterns there. Bah. I’m going to sleep. My sister’s flying back home to tell me that I need to keep covering her ass at work yay.
Night everyone! Don’t dream too badly of a rabid E-fan cutting off your legs and stealing your players! Vanek!
Night Jordi!
I would never want to be on Lou’s bad side and neither should Rowe if he knows what’s good for him. It seems like he doesn’t considering the situation he’s put himself in.
‘Night Jordi!
I just happen to be able to get up and out the door in under 15 minutes, so I didn’t get out of bed until 7:40.
I can be up and ready and out the door in 15 minutes provided I don’t eat breakfast, heh. Lucky enough for me work is a 15 minute walk from me and since nobody’s in the office on Saturdays, I can take my time with getting here. Although, given my guilt-meter, I try not to push it.
I thought not having breakfast was a given. I usually don’t have the time to eat (at school) because I stay in bed until the last minute possible which has proven to be a bad idea from all the times I’ve fallen back to sleep and missed class. I’m usually not hungry when I first wake up and my medicine holds me over until like dinner.
I thought not having breakfast was a given. I usually don’t have the time to eat (at school) because I stay in bed until the last minute possible which has proven to be a bad idea from all the times I’ve fallen back to sleep and missed class.
Pretty much same here. I’ve never been a breakfast eater anyways. Of course that just gets me into trouble during class and my stomach is growling like no tomorrow.
I’ve never accidentally slept through a class. It’s always been on purpose, mwahaha.
I used to be able to get up and out in 15 minutes, but between feeding the cats and supervising their eating (we have a food-stealer) and needing to dress business casual, it takes me longer now. If I could choose what to wear the night before, I could probably do 15-20 minutes.
Morning everyone! (Once again, Jordi and I are ships passing in the night. I’m beginning to wonder, since she and I are never in the same spot, if maybe… we’re the same person???)
Just for the record, I work 5 minutes from home — I don’t even have time during my “commute” to listen to many of my favorite songs in their entirety in the car. I’m also even faster in the morning than Pookie (neither of us eats breakfast), and am from bed to desk in 15 minutes. Which is why I’m always really, REALLY bleary-eyed for the first hour or so at work — I don’t give myself enough time to actually wake up.
As for this “Devils are hard against the cap” crap, what is up with the way the MSM is responding to the Devils’ moves this summer? First Scott Burnside says they’re “trending down” because they lost Gomer and Raffie, and now they “don’t have a puck-moving defenseman” (um, Andy Greene and Johnny Oduya much, Burnside?) and have only Zajac and Parise on offense. Because Brian Gionta, that 40-goal scorer, and Patrik Elias are both a couple of stiffs. And now we’ve got this from the Edmonton newspaper guys. Of course Kevin Lowe is losing his marbles and making one stupid move after another — he’s probably listening to the local media guys. “Go after Parise! He’s worth paying a lot more to than the Devils will be willing to give him! And, er, the Devils won’t be able to give him much anyway!” Seriously, if they offer Zach money anywhere near the neighborhood of what he’s worth, Lou can afford to match it. And if they offer him more than Lou can pay, they’re way, WAY dumber than I thought.
Pretty much same here. I’ve never been a breakfast eater anyways. Of course that just gets me into trouble during class and my stomach is growling like no tomorrow.
I’ve never accidentally slept through a class. It’s always been on purpose, mwahaha.
I always keep fast breakfast options in my room. So I’ll have granola bars and the likes, so if I decide to have breakfast I can either eat one of those while getting ready or during class if I have awhile before I can get food.
I’ve woken up before and decided that I’m taking the day off. My reasoning is totally off and it’s bad when you can convince yourself that it’s okay to miss class when your school has an absence policy. I think I’ve taken off my birthday the two years I’ve been at school. I can definitely say I took off this past year, but I don’t quite remember if I did my first year.
but between feeding the cats and supervising their eating (we have a food-stealer)
Oh man, that’s so annoying! Cats aren’t supposed to need policing! They’re the self-sufficient pets! (We have one who was wasting away because she didn’t like eating with the other cats. We finally had to set up her own sequestered eating station on a different floor of the house. The lengths we go to for these animals… [Oh, and why would we match any offer sheets thrown Boomer's way? Because, among other things, she takes care of feeding the cats. So Pookie and I can be lazy and sleep right up until the zero hour every morning.])
When I was in college Boomer used to encourage me to miss classes. “You don’t need to go to every one, sweetie,” she’d say, because she’s just that good an influence on me. I ended up commuting to Rutgers, though, and it was a 40-minute drive. I got pretty good about heading up there every day, and once I was on campus, it seemed pointless to miss the classes. But I learned quick in my career as a student that I was only really diligent about going to morning classes, the earlier the better. Which is strange because I’m by no stretch of the imagination a morning person. But if classes started later than 10, and I didn’t have to be awake before that, I’d just chuck them all and stay in bed until noon.
Schnookie, it’s very blatant that Burnside like most of the MSM is biased against the Devils. I think the only one that is sometimes on our side at ESPN is Buccigross.
Ugh, Gomer looks like a real big tool in his press photos. I know those are old news, but still.
I am, also totally not a morning person but I do prefer to have my classes earlier so I can just nap in the afternoon and have it not take up too much time so I could actually do some homework/studying.
When I was in college Boomer used to encourage me to miss classes.
Hey, sometimes that works! When I was taking first-year calc I did rather mediocre on my first couple of tests and then once I stopped going to class, my marks in that course skyrocketed.
Ugh, Gomer looks like a real big tool in his press photos. I know those are old news, but still.
No kidding. And check out the ex-sexy, passionate warrior standing next to him. What a couple of tools.
Genna, I have no idea why I still read ESPN because they never say anything I’m interested in hearing. (Although I’ll admit I like how Burnside writes.) I just read their stuff and either get mad that they’re ignoring the Devils, or even more annoyed that they’re saying stupid shit about the Devils. But I get bored at work, so what else am I going to read? Eklund? :P (I can’t stand Buccigross, even though you’re right that he’s kind of the only guy in the American MSM who doesn’t have a blinding hate of the Devils. I just feel massive numbers of brain cells dying whenever I read his column. Especially after the one where he described Michelangelo as the “Thom Felicia of the Renaissance”. Whoops — just thinking about that column just did more permanent damage to my brain. Damn. I need to stop that!)
Oh man, that’s so annoying! Cats aren’t supposed to need policing! They’re the self-sufficient pets!
Tell me about it.
On the breakfast note: you wouldn’t want to see me on a day I went without breakfast. It makes me very cranky. Which is why it’s fortunate I live where I do, because I can just grab a muffin or croissant on the way to the subway. Then I eat at my desk while the computer boots up.
Oh man, if I was commuting I would probably never go to class. Rutgers is a lot bigger than my school so I’m guessing it’s easier to miss class and not get penalized there. I have to obviously commute to my summer class and it’s about a 30 minute drive which I absolutely hate doing. I like being able to leave my dorm and be able to walk to class in less than 5 minutes.
If my classes started earlier than 10, I would need more than the 3-4 alarms it takes me to get up now.
Sherry, I’m beginning to sense that when IPB has its first-ever IPBConvention (I believe I’d floated to Earl the idea that we can all meet somewhere in central North America [sorry, Mags and Jordi] to watch the All-Star Game together, and the snark would be visible from outer space) we need to not be scheduling stuff in the afternoons. That is definitely sacred naptime. (And as for morning classes, you at least get everything over with right away. When you’ve got a morning off and stuff planned in the afternoon, you just rattle around with a deadline ticking away. It’s not restful at all. At least, it isn’t for me.)
And sakes alive is the Rangers lineup looking incredibly tool-y these days! Poor Hank, after his arbitration, is going to have to go to tool training just so he can fit in. (Because, uh, Hank totally didn’t look like a tool before…)
Meg, I love the idea of having a croissant or muffin every day! I think someone needs to put a bakery in that cornfield I drive past on my way to work… (I actually get hungrier if I eat breakfast. My stomach is rumbling by 10 if I eat in the morning, but if I don’t I’m generally good until 1 or 2 in the afternoon.) (And I also tell myself I can make all those bakery things myself, so I feel guilty about buying stuff like that. Except I make muffins maybe three times a year and croissants never [despite making myself a promise every year for the last 4 that this is the year I'm going to do it], so I can’t figure out where I’m getting so high and mighty about my baking skills.)
Genna, do you mind my asking where you go to school? (Feel free to say yes…)
When I was in college, I attended a very small, very specialized studio in NYU’s art school. There were 15 of us Freshman year, and we had classes from 9-6 Mondays and Wednesdays and 9-3 on Fridays. If one of us didn’t show up at 9, the professor would pick someone to go to the office and call that person to remind them to come to class. How sucky is that?
Sherry, I’m beginning to sense that when IPB has its first-ever IPBConvention (I believe I’d floated to Earl the idea that we can all meet somewhere in central North America [sorry, Mags and Jordi] to watch the All-Star Game together, and the snark would be visible from outer space) we need to not be scheduling stuff in the afternoons. That is definitely sacred naptime.
Oh, absolutely. If there are any events scheduled for the morning, we’d best make sure there’s an endless supply of coffee available.
I’m actually making plans to attend the draft next year in Ottawa. Road trip, anyone? :D
And I also tell myself I can make all those bakery things myself, so I feel guilty about buying stuff like that.
I would feel guilty too, except my oven makes baking very difficult and I wouldn’t do it regularly anyway. I also don’t cook. Lazy, lazy, lazy.
No kidding. And check out the ex-sexy, passionate warrior standing next to him. What a couple of tools.
Drury reminds me of a lost little boy in the press photos. Except in this picture where he looks a little um, special.
Schnookie, the only reason you read ESPN is because there’s a lack of resources to get hockey information. I love how that even though hockey is off of ESPN and that everyone hates ESPN/Bettman for not airing hockey, that it is still such a big resource to get hockey news. I think the only reason why I like Buccigross is because he usually sides with the Devils and he surprisingly has good taste in music even if he’s a bit cocky about it.
Pookie and I had been floating doing a blogger convention at the All-Star Game the year after this coming one. But the draft in Ottawa says you, eh? Interesting…
I’ve sort of been hit with some inspiration on a “Best of Bryzgalov” compilation mix.
What?! When is this on the air, and how much BryzgaLove talk will there be?
I would feel guilty too, except my oven makes baking very difficult and I wouldn’t do it regularly anyway. I also don’t cook. Lazy, lazy, lazy.
My oven in our place in Hamilton is super old and it tends to retain the smell/taste of the food you cook before it. But I absolutely love baking and do it anyways. Anybody ever have cupcakes with the lingering taste of French Fries? It’s quite the experience.
I’m also way too lazy to cook. When I have time, I absolutely love doing it though but whenever I come home from work I’m way beyond lazy to do anything else so just end up zapping something in the microwave or the oven.
But the draft in Ottawa says you, eh? Interesting…
It is! It was supposed to be in Ottawa during the lockout but they decided to just have it in some hotel so this is sort of to make up for it getting shafted, heh. I think we should definitely have a serious discussion about having some sort of convention whilst there. Make your travel plans now, people!
HA! Drury totally looks “special” in that picture! He’s a mentally challenged herpes robot!
I would feel guilty too, except my oven makes baking very difficult and I wouldn’t do it regularly anyway. I also don’t cook.
I only cook because I really love to do it; I completely understand not enjoying it and therefore not doing much of it! There’s nothing lazy about that! (I’ve taken several intense baking and pasty classes at the Culinary Institute of America, though [for enthusiasts only; this wasn't, like, professional training or anything], so at the very least I should be baking up a storm at home to justify the money I spent on the courses. Right now I’m using a lack of an oven as an excuse, which is at least a step up from the excuse I was using before: I don’t have enough counter space for rolling dough. Which was a patent lie.)
Except in this picture where he looks a little um, special.
That picture looks like Drury’s saying, “See, I don’t even need a sweater! My robot innards happened to have already been branded with the Rangers logo!” And Gomez is realizing that the sweater is burning his skin like all Rangers sweaters do to ex-Devils. And Renney looks like he realizes he’s made a terrible mistake in agreeing to coach that team.
I’ll all for a draft road trip! IPB’s Great in Ottawa ’08!
What?! When is this on the air, and how much BryzgaLove talk will there be?
It won’t so much be BryzgaLove talk as Bryzgalov sound bites mixed to random scratches and beatboxing:
“Why you have to be mma–mma-mmma–maad [scratchscratchboopboopshhh] Is just–is-jjjjuuusst–jjjuusst gamegggaaammme [scratchscratchboombipbish]”
et cetera, et cetera.
Schnookie, I am horrified that you would ask such a question! That’s really stepping over the line and invading my personal question space. Majorly offensive.
With that out of the way, I go to Ithaca College. The school Ithaca is not known for.
And I also tell myself I can make all those bakery things myself, so I feel guilty about buying stuff like that.
I always feel this way with knitting/sewing. Even though I’m not up to par with the my knitting and sewing skills, I always feel like I can make this (insert article of clothing or accessory) and that I shouldn’t waste my money buying the thing. I rarely get things done, so I’m better off making the purchase instead of thinking that I can make it.
Yeah, yeah, he’s a slag-faced whore, mentally retarded, herpes robot. He is. He’s thinking, “I’ve made a terrible mistake. Who’s on duty in the Ranger’s PPB? Where’s Katebits?”
*sniff*
I miss him so much.
I felt a little dirty watching the draft this year.
“Why you have to be mma–mma-mmma–maad [scratchscratchboopboopshhh] Is just–is-jjjjuuusst–jjjuusst gamegggaaammme [scratchscratchboombipbish]”
You can do this? Wow x3.
Ooh, make a Kevin Lowe song too!
“Why don’t fr-fr-fr-freeee aaa a-ggents [scratchwhistlestomp] c-c-caaalllll mmmmeeeee me bbaabaaack [kickangryphonehangup]“
Speaking of BryzgaLove, have you guys seen the knob hockey youtube video of him?
Yes, I have too much time on my hands even if that was found awhile ago.
You can do this? Wow x3.
Ooh, make a Kevin Lowe song too!
“Why don’t fr-fr-fr-freeee aaa a-ggents [scratchwhistlestomp] c-c-caaalllll mmmmeeeee me bbaabaaack [kickangryphonehangup]”
I can probably do it but it’ll have to be for my own amusement, heh. If we broadcast it I may have to ask for permission from The Score first since technically the clip is their property.
If you can get Kevin Lowe to call in and give me a clip of that, I totally would!
sigh, I was really hoping I wouldn’t get the Devil’s number :P oh well.
My oven in our place in Hamilton is super old and it tends to retain the smell/taste of the food you cook before it.
Mine is broken and is either off or on its way to 500 degrees. We regulate its temperature by opening and closing the oven door.
I would be totally up for an IPB convention be it draft or whatever, as long as it’s somewhere public transport accessible since I’m carless.
If you can get Kevin Lowe to call in and give me a clip of that, I totally would!
OK, but I might have to trick him into thinking you are Brendan Shanahan or another last-of-the-pile UFAs.
Knob hockey is excellent, Genna, but Breezy is a strange enough case where he is funnier in person than in mock persona. Great stuff, though.
OK, but I might have to trick him into thinking you are Brendan Shanahan or another last-of-the-pile UFAs.
Psh, that’s easy. I’ll just put my voice through the distortion machine first :)
I would be totally up for an IPB convention be it draft or whatever, as long as it’s somewhere public transport accessible since I’m carless.
I had to read this twice. The first time I thought, “Wow, she’s so careless she didn’t even bother to spell ‘careless’ right.”
Sherry, this is a Devils blog. The Devil’s number is the luckiest one here!
Genna, so sorry to be invading your personal, emotional space! :P (I’m glad now I didn’t go to Ithaca what with the attendance policies! Rutgers was kind of like, “Hey, you gave us your money already. We don’t care what you do now.”)
I used to feel guilty about buying sweaters when I was a more diligent knitter, but then I realized that most store-bought sweaters, even the “hand knit” ones, will run you less than the cost of materials, let alone the 50-100 hours of knitting I’d take to finish the damn thing.
I nominate Sherry and Earl to be IPB’s DJ’s at the draft get-together. Is it a bad thing that I already have the Kevin Lowe remix stuck in my head?
I would be totally up for an IPB convention be it draft or whatever, as long as it’s somewhere public transport accessible since I’m carless.
Then we should totally do it in Ottawa for the draft next year! Ottawa has a pretty good bus system, and you can easily get there by train/plane/bus, whichever.
I’m in luck that the draft is during June and I planned on taking a month off after I graduate before I subjected myself to being a slave for the wage anyways.
I nominate Sherry and Earl to be IPB’s DJ’s at the draft get-together. Is it a bad thing that I already have the Kevin Lowe remix stuck in my head?
Oh, if by miracle K.Lowe is still employed by draft day ’08 it would be fantastic if that mythical song could somehow be piped in when he goes up to pick.
He may have something like 6 first-round picks next year, too. The joke could be beaten senseless by pick 15.
The joke could be beaten senseless by pick 15.
Well, we are all about beating jokes senseless here, so how appropriate!
I just Mapquested stately IPB Manor-to-Ottawa, and I had NO IDEA it was so close. It’s only, like, a 7.5 hour drive. Well, that seals it: IPB’s going to the Ottawa draft!
The joke could be beaten senseless by pick 15.
That’s the IPB way!
He may have something like 6 first-round picks next year, too. The joke could be beaten senseless by pick 15.
Well, that’s okay. We’ll just have to make more than one remix. Asides from “Free Agency Woes”, we can also make one called “Screw You, Nylander”, “Edmonton isn’t Siberia”, “I’m Not Over You (Pronger)” and “It’s Good Enough for Rachel Hunter (But Not For You?!”
Et cetera, et cetera.
I’m glad now I didn’t go to Ithaca what with the attendance policies! Rutgers was kind of like, “Hey, you gave us your money already. We don’t care what you do now.”
I think it’s a major bummer that they have an attendance policy, I think it’s in accordance with NY state law? Basically you have 3 unexcused absences for your standard class. My opinion is, if you choose to miss class and can’t keep up with the work then you are penalizing yourself and are probably going to fail the class, so there’s no reason why you should have to fail me for missing more than 3. Good thing I have major sinus problems and have a note saying that I shouldn’t be penalized for missing class due to this. That has gotten me in a lot of trouble. You’d think with the almost 40k tuition that they’d be like, you wanna miss class…go for it!
I had to read this twice. The first time I thought, “Wow, she’s so careless she didn’t even bother to spell ‘careless’ right.”
Haha…I probably should have written “without a car” and saved you the trouble. That was careless of me.
Jokes can be beaten senseless? Naaah. Everything is funnier the millionth time, the very best jokes actually begin to increase in hilarity once they have crossed the 1.5M milestone.
Jokes can be beaten senseless? Naaah. Everything is funnier the millionth time, the very best jokes actually begin to increase in hilarity once they have crossed the 1.5M milestone.
As the funniest sequence ever on The Simpsons (the rakes in the Cape Fear episode) demonstrates, the key to taking a joke to the next level is to keep repeating it. Yes, it’s funny the first few times, but then it stops being funny for a stretch… and then all of a sudden — BANG! Comedic breakthrough! Repetition, repetition, repetition!! I demand it!!!
As the funniest sequence ever on The Simpsons (the rakes in the Cape Fear episode) demonstrates, the key to taking a joke to the next level is to keep repeating it.
Oh my goodness, Schnookie. That has got to be my absolute favourite scene in the history of the Simpsons.
Totally, Schnookie! You just have to muscle through that uncomfortable time after it stops being funny. Don’t give up! If you stick to your guns, you’re beloved joke will be back, and it’ll be funnier than ever. (You’ll be back my bland, S,PW….you’ll be back.)
you wanna miss class…go for it!
I’m terrible advice guy, so don’t ever ask me whether you should go to a class unless you really really don’t want to go, but the one semester I really really tried to go to all my classes (and still missed some) I did really really well. Something about that attendance really does matter.
Wait a sec, this almost sounds like good advice. I’m all bugaboo this morning.
I remember once being on an airplane where they were showing that episode as part of their “random old tv shows” entertainment programming. I never get the airplane headphones, being happy to just bring a trashy novel and read for the entire flight, but I glanced up at the nearest screen right before that scene and was BY FAR the loudest-laughing person on the plane. I can’t get enough of it.
I’m all for a draft get-together and no, it’s not just because Ottawa is totally within driving distance to me. Okay, it is but still!
Lowe evidently feels that the Sabres’ reaction to Vanek’s offer sheet was “juvenille.” Rumor is that other teams tendered sheets as well but that Edmonton’s was so much higher that it never turned into a bidding war of any kind. I really want to know who else made offers though.
About halfway through my freshman year of college I stopped going to class all together. No, that wasn’t a very successful plan of action.
I like Earl being all, “I’m a terrible advice guy” and ending up recommending class attendance. I prefer to present myself as a cautionary tale: “Kids, I skipped classes a lot, and now look at me.” I’m like a Scared Straight for work ethic.
That has got to be my absolute favourite scene in the history of the Simpsons.
Wow. A brazen statement. For some reason, the one that always gets me is the episode when they find Artie Ziff living in their attic, and late in the episode Homer is released from jail after like a day or two.
“Oh Maggie, you’re all grown up. And Bart, you’ve become a man!”
It’s just a great moment for all.
Wow. A brazen statement.
Oh, there are definitely a lot of great moments, but it’s always that one scene that’s made me laugh consistently. I’m more into the classic Simpsons episodes though, there was just something more special about those ones.
Although, my favourite episodes of the Simpsons is when they recreate literary classics. The one where they did Hamlet was just brilliant.
“I didn’t use that much poison! I mean–I didn’t use that much poi, son”.
You can’t spell party without Arty. Unless you mispell arty. Or party.
Hm… favorite Simpons moment… It might be Principal Skinner making steamed hams for Superintendent Chamblers. “You mean to tell me Aurora Borealis is occuring at this time of year, this far south, and entirely localized in your kitchen?” “Yes.” “May I see it?” “No.” But then I think about the steelworkers (“Hot stuff, coming through!”) and I think about A Streetcar Named Marge and I think about really anything involving Krusty… I just can’t decide. But I suppose, if pressed, I’d agree with Schnookie that the rakes are the funniest moment.
Picking a favorite Simpsons moment is indeed a brazen move, but I stand by the rake thing. It just… slapstick. What can I say? I’m easy to please.
I know! It’s brilliance is in its simplicity, that’s what I say.
I’ve opened up the Solitaire, I’m officially bored. And hungry. All of the cafs are closed on a Saturday. They were filming the new American Pie movie on campus and I was really hoping they’d be in so I could crash craft services or something.
About halfway through my freshman year of college I stopped going to class all together. No, that wasn’t a very successful plan of action.
Oh, me too. Those were dark times.
Earl, I know that class attendance is very important in order to be successful during college. I just do not think that an attendance policy needs to be set in place. If you do not go to class and keep up with the work, then there’s no way that you can walk away with a good grade. If you do this for all of your classes then you will most likely be put on academic warning and depending on your prior status you may be suspended or kicked out. That’s why I don’t think it is needed. If I’m going to waste away the money spent on tuition that should be my choice and I’m sure most parents are going to give the student hell for their actions. It is college and not high school. In college they focus on acting like an adult and self-governing, so let me take responsibility for my actions if I miss class and not only because I went over the limit.
I’m not targeting you or anything, but I guess it would help to explain what I meant with that comment.
Yeah, I’m already backtracking on my fave moment. In fact, I take it back. My favorite moment has to involve Moleman, simply because I’m laughing before he even does a thing. I think the thing I quote more than anything from the Simpsons is Moleman’s feeble, “I was yelling ‘boo-urns’”.
If anything, I think the Internet has really done a great disservice to encourage attendance when most professors now put their lecture notes online or even have online lectures. You can either go to class and fall asleep there while he or she reads from the overhead or you can stay at home and sleep in and just read the notes later. At a decent hour. If you have questions, that’s what office hours and TAs are for. Of course the key is to go a couple of classes before you have a test as I know most of my professors like to reward people who show up with one or two questions on the test.
Aw, Genna, no need to worry about defending your absenteeism! We’re all a bunch of slackers, too. Well, not Mags. But I can speak for both -ookies when I say that inertia is the best thing in our lives.
Sherry they’re filming on MAC?!
I’m so going to the Ottawa draft..Kingston or Toronto is less than four hours away! woot. :D
Um, Genna, don’t get me wrong, I totally agree about missing class is a lame policy. I had a class freshman year that only allowed 3 absences for the semester, and had my grade dropped a full letter-grade for sleeping through the last class.
About halfway through my freshman year of college I stopped going to class all together. No, that wasn’t a very successful plan of action.
This applies to me, only it was junior year. So I took time off school, worked a desk job for a year-and-a-half, then finished off that last semester (wherein I really tried to attend everything).
All that said, I’ve done very well in classes where the professor couldn’t have picked me out of a live lineup (“I would have thought he was 5’6″ based on his license”). It depends on the class and the adherence to a textbook, but I fully support missing class. Just make sure you get there every once in a while :)
Sherry they’re filming on MAC?!
They filmed a couple of scenes here, yeah, haha. I think they’re filming most of it in Toronto though. Apparently, the last American Pie moving was also filmed here, at least most of the exteriors were. I’ve never seen it but apparently there’s this one scene where the family’s driving through this tunnel/archway of one of our buildings which I call bollocks because nobody‘s allowed to drive through there. Stupid Hollywood types :P
I’m so going to the Ottawa draft..Kingston or Toronto is less than four hours away! woot. :D
It’s a convention then!
Ah well Mac really is a pretty school :D.
I’m hoping I won’t have too many 8;30 classes next year. I’ll just hit my alarm clock and fall right back to sleep. :(
Geena, I spent my first two years in college getting high and trying to convince everyone around me that working hard towards a personal goal is “egostitical”. I’m clean and sober now (except for the bottle of wine I drank last night and the line of coke I did this morning to cure my hangover. Kidding!), and perfectly happy to work hard. I guess what I am trying to do is agree with you that monitoring your own schedule is an important part of college. I really had to figure out how to take care of myself, and even though I cringe when I think of my behavior 18-20, I needed to go through that phase in order to become the towering bastion of maturity that you see before you now. Policing adults like children is stupid.
Ah well Mac really is a pretty school :D.
It is! For all of the grief I give my school, the old gothic style buildings are simply gorgeous. Hamilton Hall’s exterior is vintage Gothic style and one of the original stone buildings but on the inside it’s been completely renovated into something I can only describe as “Ikea-Chic”.
It’s also a lot cheaper to film in Hamilton. There was also a Rosie O’Donnell really horrible made for TV movie filmed on campus here too the year before I came.
one of the original stone buildings but on the inside it’s been completely renovated into something I can only describe as “Ikea-Chic”.
I toured Mac, is the Math building, right? Haha it was one of those reasons why I almost ended up at Mac. ^^
I toured Mac, is the Math building, right? Haha it was one of those reasons why I almost ended up at Mac.
That’s the one, haha. I love the building but for some reason there’s this really strange smell in it like all the time. Must be all the math fumes.
I’ve started up the 3D Pinball. My boredom has reached new heights [lows?]
Sherry if you’re still bored, try:
The guy’s pretty smart. ^^ I’m cracking myself up over some of these right now. Can you just imagine Robo-Sid trying to ask Robo-Fridge Girl out like that :X
Except I’m almost sure Uncle Mario wouldn’t have let him go to a bar. oh no! :P
besides that one, i also recommend ‘Procrastination’ by the same guy :)
Haha, I’ll watch it in a bit. This computer doesn’t have any sound. The production room is free so I’ll go and see what I can do about the “Best of: Bryzgalov Mix”
Oh man, I just saw it, it’s so cute.
I’d imagine Crosby and Fridge-girl’s exchange might go something like this:
Crosby: “It was really nice meeting you the other day”–no, wait that is far too emotional, she’s going to think I’m a stalker or something. “It was a very enjoyable experience to be of your acquaintance yester eve.”
Jokes can be beaten senseless? Naaah. Everything is funnier the millionth time, the very best jokes actually begin to increase in hilarity once they have crossed the 1.5M milestone.
David Letterman used to say, about a bit, that he “does it to death, then does it for three more weeks.”
besides that one, i also recommend ‘Procrastination’ by the same guy :)
I really liked this one.
Hahaha Sherry I’m just running through his lists… later you might want to check out “conversations”
“It was a very enjoyable experience to be of your acquaintance yester eve.”
”Oh no, what if that’s too traditional for her?! AHHH…”
Uncle Mario: What are you doing?
:X
Okay, our mail was just delivered here at IPB Manor, and you know what? I had no idea our mailman was a tanorexic male bodybuilder with long, platinum blond hair.
In case you were wondering.
I had no idea our mailman was a tanorexic male bodybuilder with long, platinum blond hair.
Mailman by day, male model by night?
You get mail delivered on Saturdays? My mind is blown.
I just saw “Procrastination”, that pretty much sums up my day :P
You get mail delivered on Saturdays? My mind is blown.
Sherry, this is the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave. We get mail every day but Sunday!
Sorry, I left for Pancake Time. Light and fluffy pancakes were screaming to be consumed and I’m not going to deny them that right.
Geena, I spent my first two years in college getting high and trying to convince everyone around me that working hard towards a personal goal is “egostitical”
I can’t say I did that, but I did get suspended for the first semester of this past year. My first semester gpa dropped to a 1.97 because I got a C- in a 4 credit class and because of that I was put on academic warning which I found out randomly during winter break. I stress myself out a lot, so when I got back to school that’s all I could think about (what if I don’t get off it, I hope I can, etc.) Besides the stress/anxiety from being on warning, I also had a lot of shit going on outside the academic setting with friends and normal life. So, I got majorly depressed and stopped going to most of my classes and obviously that didn’t end too well. And that’s how I ended up getting suspended.
I, like you, have learned a lot from my mistakes. I accepted full responsibility for my actions. I knew what I was doing was wrong during that process, but I couldn’t stop myself. I still need to sort out my priorities (ahem, hockey shouldn’t take priority over homework), but I’m working on it. My academic life and I are a work in progress.
(ahem, hockey shouldn’t take priority over homework)
Whoa, whoa, here. Let’s not get crazy with absolute statements on this one.
Hockey shouldn’t always take priority over homework.
Whoa, whoa, here. Let’s not get crazy with absolute statements on this one.
Hockey shouldn’t always take priority over homework.
I agree with Earl! I mean, come on!! :P
Yeah, I don’t know about that one either. As of now my hockey has been by far more rewarding than school ever has :P
I think I was lucky enough to get my inappropriate rebellious behaviour out during middle school and high school that I adjusted all right to college. The thing you have to learn early on is that the workload is completely different and you can’t be absolutely crushed if your grades dip at least 10%. Our school was really keen to warn us that it’ll happen and I had been previously super concerned about my marks but I think my standards are pretty low now that I just care a bout passing, heh.
Also, our school is really keen to make sure that you get into good habits early which is why a lot of students fail out of first year. I think a lot of the mentality is that the chains are finally off and they’re afraid of missing some form of experience that it’s hard to time manage and prioritize. College has one too many myths if you ask me.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get to do the Bryzgalov Mix but I did end up putting his soundbyte into a new intro I created for my show, heh.
Just because I said that doesn’t mean I’ll follow it, but unless I’m going to be a hockey player or journalist then it shouldn’t take priority. Unfortunately, I’m more than happy to put off my homework and watch the Devils games that I rarely get in CNY or find a way to watch them like finding a free Canadian proxy to watch the playoffs being streamed on cbc.ca
College has one too many myths if you ask me.
You know, I had a real crisis about this when I was in college (in as much as I’ve ever “crisis”ed in my life) — I ended up leaving after one year of school because I was completely unable to deal with the fact that I was unhappy. “But college is supposed to be the best four years of my life!” Yeah, that’s crap. Sure, for some people that’s true, but how depressing is that thought? I mean, who wants to be 22 and know it’s never going to be that good ever again?
Anyway, like Earl, I took some time off, got a job, gained some perspective and realized what the point of going to college was for me. It made me a much better student and a much happier person as an adult.
That’s my lecture for today.
The thing you have to learn early on is that the workload is completely different
I’m not one for partying or drinking, so that’s never been a problem. I actually hate both. Drinking only because I have a bad reaction to it, damn mutated Asian genes. My problem has always been procrastination, motivation and laziness. It was hard going to college and having to actually study. The high school I went to was really competitive for “normal” kids. I have learning disabilities so in some subjects I had to take slower classes (in between SPED and basic level classes) and those classes were too slow for me. Most of the people in the classes were the kids that slacked off in school and didn’t care about two shits. I needed a CP 1.5 (the slower classes were called CP2 and normal ones were CP1.) So because the class was filled half with people that really needed to be there and half with people that don’t apply themselves, usually the class had a lot of interruptions and went slower than it needed to. That affected my study habits because I basically didn’t have to study in order to do well. I could easily do well on a midterm on final with only just flipping through my notes. Mmmm yea, not too sure where I was going with this.
The best piece of college advice I got was from my high school English teacher. He told me, before I left for NYU, that I shouldn’t be upset if I don’t make friends for life there. For some reason, that was really freeing for me (not being much in the way of a social butterfly). I met tons of cool people who I loved spending time with, but by the time graduation rolled around and it became pretty clear we were all going our seperate ways never to speak to one another again, I wasn’t torn up about it. In fact, the only really lasting friendship I made during my college years was with Morgan, a guy I met going to hockey games.
I don’t think college is for everybody myself, but you can certainly gain a lot of knowledge in and out of the classroom from it. I think if you realize early on that it’s not for you to definitely leave while you can. I don’t so much think these are the best 4 years of my life [because if they were, that would just be sad]. I ended up going because, well I figured it was something you had to do [at least as an Asian] but I really am glad I did because essentially for me it’s putting off having to make a decision with what to do with my life for awhile. Although that being said, I’m a year away from graduation and I still haven’t the foggiest. I’m in commerce and I know I really don’t want to be in commerce. Everybody I talk to from high school or middle school is dead shocked I’m in business.
I’m not one for partying or drinking, so that’s never been a problem. I actually hate both. Drinking only because I have a bad reaction to it, damn mutated Asian genes. My problem has always been procrastination, motivation and laziness. It was hard going to college and having to actually study.
I agree with the workload. It’s not that it’s heavier, but the fact that you have to put in a lot more work in general and the deadlines tend to creep up on you when you get them at the beginning of the semester and think you’ve got boatloads of time.
I, thankfully don’t get Asian flush from drinking. I think it may be the small hint of Russian genes I inherited, heh.
I basically didn’t have to study in order to do well.
I am a person with no discernible motivation or work ethic, but I’m also naturally really good at passing tests. I would promptly forget everything that went on the test, but I was quite gifted at getting good grades. So anyway, I’m the middle of the three -ookie sisters, and Kate The Great and Pookie were both totally motivated students. A few years ago we got into a discussion of how we all approached our schoolwork, and Kate The Great said with no small chagrin, “When I got to grad school I realized that I didn’t have to do all the reading — required and suggested — to pass my classes.” Pookie was like, “You only figured that out in Grad School? I stopped doing the suggested reading when I was in my Junior year of college.” And I just shook my head in dismay at them. Dudes, I stopped doing the required reading when I was in second grade (and who in their right mind does suggested reading???). For two people who are really smart, I can’t figure out how they were so dumb about that… :P
I needed a CP 1.5 (the slower classes were called CP2 and normal ones were CP1.) So because the class was filled half with people that really needed to be there and half with people that don’t apply themselves, usually the class had a lot of interruptions and went slower than it needed to.
For some reason this reminds me of my 8th grade Latin class. For some reason my school tracked the slackers who weren’t engaged enough to excel in Spanish or French into Latin. So the class was split between the kids too lazy for real language classes and the kids who were nerdy and smart enough to actually want to take Latin. After about 3 weeks of disastrous classes where it became really clear the teach couldn’t possibly teach the smart kids effectively without giving up on the slackers and couldn’t possibly teach the slackers effectively without alientaing the smart kids, the teacher finally took action. M-T the slackers would attend normal class without the smart kids; meanwhile the smart kids would have class during lunchtime, using the normal class time as study hall. Fridays the class would meet together and partake in “Latin Jeopardy”. “Latin Jeopardy” contained no Latin content whatsoever. In fact, the only constant was that the final category would have some ridiculously off-color subject heading like “69″ (all answers containing a 6 or a 9), “Jugs” (all answers about drinking vessels) and “Intercourse” (all answers about the town in PA). Looking back, I’m not sure how this teach swung anything about this class set-up. And that’s my story.
I, thankfully don’t get Asian flush from drinking. I think it may be the small hint of Russian genes I inherited, heh.
Oh boy, I get the Asian flush and then some. It’s like I’m basically allergic to alcohol, that’s how bad it is. It has come to the point where I just have given up on attempting to drink because I just get sick. I don’t even get buzzed, I skip that and go straight to sick city.
I am a person with no discernible motivation or work ethic, but I’m also naturally really good at passing tests. I would promptly forget everything that went on the test, but I was quite gifted at getting good grades.
I have a pretty good memorization. If I study my notes (granted I was there everyday to take notes) then I can usually pull off somewhere in the B range as long as it’s not a difficult subject for me. Biology=death. I’ve been known to stay up all night shaking from the caffeine memorizing notes for a test for Bio. You know it’s bad when you can repeat almost word for word the notes you took on the chapter. That bit me in the ass considering my professor ended up asking questions that barely had to do with the reading (weird situation, I was making up an incomplete so it’s not like I had lecture notes to study instead.)
Biology=death.
I am a liberal arts person through and through, but for some reason I thought it would be frowned on if I didn’t take AP Biology (I learned too late that even supergenuis Kate the Great didn’t take AP Bio). So I spent all year getting Cs. I didn’t realize I had the option of not taking the test itself, so I signed up for it, sat down and started my AP Bio test:
“Because water is non-polar…”
Yeah. Sigh. Not the finest point in my academic career.
I ended up going because, well I figured it was something you had to do
I was the same way. My sisters and I wonder how our mom and dad did that, so we can do it to the next generation. I was actually already in college before it occurred to me to think about taking a year off before I started. Meh, it’s too late now, I figured.
I have two things about me that helped me in school, but never in life. I pick things up fast, and I have kind of a photographic memory. Not in the sense that I remember everything that happened, but in the sense that if I’m trying to remember something, I picture the last time I saw that thing and try to find it in the picture. When I’m trying to remember the name of a movie, I picture the poster and try to read the title off of it. When I was in college, my mind was much more well-exercised and if I had read something in the textbook, in order to remember it, I would literally picture the page I saw it on and try to read it again. Usually I could.
But my laziness and poor time/deadline management kept me at an average grade level. And it certainly hasn’t changed since then.
The Bio I took in college wasn’t even real Bio. It was the watered down version that had to do more with semi-everyday things and was recommended for health science majors. At the time I was thinking of going into speech pathology, so I decided that maybe I should take this. I knew prior to this class that I hated Bio, but my summer adviser was a douche and made me sign up for one more class and the only one in the time slot that I wanted that was somewhat appealing was that one.
I’m looking forward to next summer when I have to take Bio and have to be at class/lab for like 8 hours a day. I’d take it at school, but I’m more likely to fail there. Hopefully I’ll figure out what I want to major in before that and if I don’t pick OT then I won’t have to subject myself to that hell.
Catching up…
It’s also a lot cheaper to film in Hamilton.
Sherry, I went and watched The West Wing film in Hamilton. Apparently, Canada looks like New Hampshire…who knew. My friend and I got horribly lost looking for Dundas
(where they were filming). We knew we were in trouble when we saw a sign that said Guelph, 15k. Our little hour-long drive from Buffalo to Hamilton took over 2.5 hours. But we made it to watch the adorable Bradley Whitford film some scenes.
The worst class I ever took in college was “Intro to Research Methods.” It was a required course for a communications major, and it was an hour-and-a-half long at 8:30am. There were only 6 of us in the class, so we couldn’t blend in. I loved the prof, but the material was so dry.
he best piece of college advice I got was from my high school English teacher. He told me, before I left for NYU, that I shouldn’t be upset if I don’t make friends for life there.
I wish someone had given me that advice. I’m basically in touch with one person from college, and she’s my roommate/best friend/favorite non-relative. And I only graduated a year ago, so it’s not like I’ve had a long stretch of time to lose touch with people.
I loved school though, both the last couple years of high school and all of college. I actually looked forward to a lot of my classes and reading.
I have kind of a photographic memory
Patty, you’re Cam Jansen! Click!
I loved school though, both the last couple years of high school and all of college. I actually looked forward to a lot of my classes and reading.
Me too! I really miss taking Art History classes. I wish I could have a job that required I take slide exams all the time.
Sherry, I went and watched The West Wing film in Hamilton. Apparently, Canada looks like New Hampshire…who knew. My friend and I got horribly lost looking for Dundas
(where they were filming). We knew we were in trouble when we saw a sign that said Guelph, 15k. Our little hour-long drive from Buffalo to Hamilton took over 2.5 hours.
Really? They film The West Wing in Hamilton? The television show about the president?
I’ve never been to New Hampshire so I wouldn’t know exactly if it resembles Hamilton at all, haha. Dundas is actually mostly suburbs and about 10 minutes outside of the McMaster campus.
Bah. Moving sucks.
Ottowa Draft ’08. I could do that. We’ll see.
Y’all are not slackers. Look at how you comment on IPB!
As for uni, I may have a slight OCD with regards to my grades. Anything less than an A is going to make me cry. So I always work hard. And I don’t really have any friends there, because most people think I’m a bit weird.
Me too! I really miss taking Art History classes.
I miss my history courses. I had a couple history professors who were all kinds of fantastic. And I miss English lit classes because I liked discussing what we were reading in depth.
I hated college. I hated what I was studying, I hated the huge classes, I hated the “teachers,” I hated my roommates. I was miserable. I really could’ve used a “you don’t have to make life-long friends” tip and probably a smaller school though that’s more my fault. I dropped out and never went back and while I think I would actually enjoy it now (and would definitely make more money), I’m perfectly happy with myself and my job.
I hated college. I hated what I was studying, I hated the huge classes, I hated the “teachers,” I hated my roommates. I was miserable. I really could’ve used a “you don’t have to make life-long friends” tip and probably a smaller school though that’s more my fault. I dropped out and never went back and while I think I would actually enjoy it now (and would definitely make more money), I’m perfectly happy with myself and my job.
Heather, I think you should travel around area high schools offering this as a lecture of public service to college-bound seniors. I would have saved myself a lot of time and grief if I’d known college wasn’t going to be a place at which I’d be very happy. I mean, I don’t regret going by any stretch of the imagination, and I certainly had a few classes I enjoyed, but for the most part it was four (okay, five) years of just doing academic work because I felt like I had to. Kind of just an extension of high school in that regard. Oh well. It’s fast receding in the rear view mirror now! :P
As for uni, I may have a slight OCD with regards to my grades. Anything less than an A is going to make me cry. So I always work hard. And I don’t really have any friends there, because most people think I’m a bit weird.
I’m crazy obsessive about my grades too because I never got anything below A- or B+ when I was in high school and my grades took a dip when I went to university but I’m at peace with that now. Or at least I just make the excuse that I would be doing so much better if I actually liked my courses.
Awww, Mags. I’ll be your friend! You’re not weird at all.
Admittedly, I don’t have a lot of friends at all in school. I actually don’t have much of a life because it’s mostly dominated by school. Although I have to say I’m really close to my housemates and I’d be really sad if we didn’t keep in touch anymore. They’re really awesome gals.
That being said, when I was in first year I had a roommate whom I’m pretty sure was somewhat unhinged. She threatened my life one time while she was on the phone with her friend. While I was in the room.
I hated what I was studying, I hated the huge classes, I hated the “teachers,” I hated my roommates.
I think in a lot of ways I got lucky. The people I was put with at random freshman year were just great people who I really got along with. And both my majors (English and History) were things I was really passionate about. While I did have some big lectures some of them were taught by fabulous professors, and then by junior and senior year I was pretty much only in small, discussion based classes. Even though NYU is a huge school, they do a good job of that in their humanities courses.
I think that college is a bit of a crapshoot, you need to find the right place for you and get lucky on top of it.
I’m crazy obsessive about my grades too because I never got anything below A- or B+ when I was in high school and my grades took a dip when I went to university but I’m at peace with that now.
Ditto. Except, I’m not at peace with it. I’m going to have to start being ok with it though, or I’m going to yell at a teacher at one point.
That being said, when I was in first year I had a roommate whom I’m pretty sure was somewhat unhinged.
The first house I moved into when I went to uni seemed to be filled with nice balanced people. Turns out most of them were these mad ravers and total druggies. One of them broke into my room once, at like 2 am, HIGH AS A KITE. I moved out about a week later. Bah. Stoners.
Patty, you’re Cam Jansen! Click!
Just for the record, I get this reference but can’t really add to it. I don’t know if I really more than one book, but I think I still have some.
Don’t get me started on crazy roommates. My freshman year could have been a lot better had I learned that it’s not best to move just because you have too much stuff.
read more than*
I think that college is a bit of a crapshoot, you need to find the right place for you and get lucky on top of it.
Meg, I think this was definitely a big part of my problem. In retrospect I definitely would’ve been better off at a small school or even a community college rather than the large state university I attended.
Live and learn, I guess. We joke in my family that my oldest brother has enough degrees to cover all of us. (My little brother has a degree too. My other big brother and I are the degree-less rebels.)
Don’t get me started on crazy roommates.
I think it’s just a right of passage in college. Freshman year, in addition to the aforementioned lovely people I had a suitemate (NYU has apartment-style housing) who was bipolar, a huge slob, and in the second semester made several suicide attempts. And junior year, when studying abroad, I had a roommate who smelled so bad that I refused to close the window even in December. Fortunately London isn’t very cold. If you didn’t live with some awful people you just wouldn’t be getting the full experience. :)
If you didn’t live with some awful people you just wouldn’t be getting the full experience. :)
Haha, if that’s the case then I don’t want the full experience. I don’t want to ever deal with something like that again. If I’m not rooming with people I choose to, then it’s a single for me. Next year I get the best of both worlds. Living with 5 other girls that are okay with me and getting a single with a full sized bed too! It’s an apartment that’s on campus, there are 4 singles and one double (I don’t know the reasoning behind that.) I don’t think I can live with 5 other girls, but at least I have a single and they aren’t high maintenance type of girls.
If you didn’t live with some awful people you just wouldn’t be getting the full experience. :)
My one college roommate was only marginally awful, so I used to wonder if I was the awful one. Fortunately, she lived an hour away and went home every weekend, so it was almost like having the place to myself. Plus, her dad worked for Nabisco, so she always came back on Monday with all the castoff cookies he brought home. :D
I didn’t really like my freshman year. I was at Oklahoma and that place is huge. I was homesick and didn’t know anybody and all the freshman required classes have hundreds of people in them. Then I transferred to Tulsa University, a small, expensive, private school, and I lived at home. SO much better. I had some friends that I hung out with between classes, but most of my friends were outside of school. At the time I though I was missing out by not living on campus then, but it wasn’t long after that that I was glad I didn’t.
I was so concerned about getting all my required credits for my degree, that I got them all out of the way in the first three years. The last 2 semesters were just electives. And I took some odd ones. Western Political Thought, The Americal Novel, French New-Wave Film, American Foreign Policy, Medieval History… Loved those! (probably because they weren’t required)
[getting back to work now]
Patty, I think you and I had the same college experience. Sort of. In that after one year away from home living with a roommate I decided it wasn’t for me and transferred to be a commuter student. My roommate at Oberlin, named Maggie, was just wretched. By the end of the year my friends and I had a little cheer we used to do: “Bitch! WHORE! MAGGIE!” She was awful. (Among some of the things she did was paint a picture of a vagina with her own menstrual blood. It was this huge, disgusting, awful thing, AND SHE HUNG IT ON OUR WALL.)
I also then raced through all my degree and grad-program requirements, and took the sciencey stuff I needed during summer semesters, so my last year at Rutgers was all fun Art History and language stuff. And no menstrual blood paintings.
OH MY GOD!
I thought I had it bad with the art types in my first year! That’s horrifying, Schookie!
I’m not even going to copy and paste that into my comment, it’s too disgusting!
Yeah, it’s really no surprise that I quickly gave up on the entire “living on campus” thing after a year rooming with Maggie. And also rooming, consequently, with the entire straight male population of the Oberlin dorms. (That’s really not saying a lot, though, when you consider the Oberlin student body, but seriously, if they were male and they were straight, they slept with Maggie.)
Hey, Schnookie, true Devils fans don’t take kindly to your snarky comment about Sergei. Sergei has given more to this team than almost anybody in the world. Mind your manners and be kinder to Sergei in the future.
Best.
Douglas, we love us some Sarge as much as the next Devils fan, but really, he has his limitations. It is a woebegone power play that deploys him too often… :P (As for the “Her?”, that’s an Arrested Development reference, not a statement about Sarge. Sorry if that didn’t convey!)
Thank you for the explanation, Schnookie. You’re forgiven. Love your blog. Keep up the good work, the two of you.
Let’s go Devils.
Best.
Thanks Douglas — it’s a relief to hear that! (That AD reference is one we say all the time here at IPB Manor, and I’m beginning now to see the limitations to using it in print… :P)
Go Devils, indeed!!
Schnookie, actually, we suggest that Sergei increasingly has become an asset on the power play. He scored quite a few of his 16 goals last season by tipping shots. Through hard work, he has become one of the most accomplished shot tippers on the Devils. Last season, Sergei set a career-best mark for power play goals with eight. That number was tied for fourth-best (with Elias, no less) on the team last year. So, we would not dismiss Sergei’s power play contributions out of hand. Plus, when he did get power play time, often, it was with the penalty clock winding down. As you know, the EGG line got most of the PP time. If Sergei had gotten the PP minutes that Elias had gotten, who knows how many more goals he would have scored.
Best.
You make good points, Douglas. I suppose it’s kind of a sadly telling statement about the potency of the Devils’ PP, though, when Sarge is one of our go-to guys with a whopping 8 goals (and don’t get me started on Patty…). That said, the guy is a rock — I can’t imagine a Devils team without Sarge, and you’re absolutely right that his contributions should never be overlooked. Perhaps he will appear as one of our 118 reasons we love hockey later this summer (spoiler alert!); he is, after all, the interchangeablest part!