IPB Manor Quality-Of-Life Update!
July 22, 2007 by Schnookie
For those of you who’ve been with us every step of the way in the exciting saga of our unbelievably unreliable fridge, you can see what we hope is the conclusion of this epic tale here, on IPB Eats (our newest sister blog). While you’re there you can also check out pictures of IPB Manor’s first potato harvest. Because we know that’s what you wish would fill the lonely, hockey-less hours of your life, Gentle Reader. Maybe our next harvest of the potato crop will yield a spud that looks like Wayne Gretzky.
Katebits birthday and a new FRIDGE (when you read that you should hear angels in song etc) for IPB?!?! I feel like it’s my birthday!
It’s like EVERYBODY’S birthday!!
Happy Birthday, Katebits!
And Happy Birthday, -ookies-fridge!
Nice looking fridge. Fill that up with some Sameul Adams and Captain Morgans Silver Spiced Rum and I’m there! Oh, and some cheesecake would be nice too.
Ooooh, the oft-hyped fridge is finally here!
I’m also very glad to see I’m not the only one who takes gratuitous pictures of everything I cook.
Steph, those pictures are hardly gratuitous! They are documentation of beloved morsels of food, lovingly crafted from hours of doting kitchen time, frozen in a moment of time right before I scarfed them down as the remorseless eating machine I am.
MrFrisby, the first things that went into the fridge were two (2) cases of Diet Coke, one (1) case of Pepsi One (what can I say? Boomer’s weird) and two (2) growlers of beer from Triumph Brewery in Princeton. I figure that will be the baseline contents of this beautiful fridge for the rest of time (with a few more bottles of wine, and during the football season, quite a bit of Sam Adams), but you’re right — some cheesecake would be nice.
Those are some very nice looking cupcakes over there.
And I think your lovely fridge might be the size of my kitchen! (ok, so not quite, but it could be close)
Meg, the fridge is the size of our old kitchen. I can’t believe I have now become one of those yuppie people with the 48-inch built-in behemoth fridge. I console myself with the knowledge that the Germans build, not surprisingly, a very efficient fridge, and this one is actually more energy efficient than most standard-sized American fridges. Except our old fridge, which conveniently drew no electricity during its many periods of having to be unplugged so it could start working again someday. (Yeah, that was the fridge fix. “The cooling line is frozen. Just unplug it for 72 hours and it’ll work again for a day or two before it freezes again. Then you just defrost it for three more days…”)
I just had a cupcake for breakfast. It was the most civilized way I can imagine confronting a rainy Monday morning.
Mmmmmm…. ginger-zucchini muffin for breakfast… mmmmm….
Has hockey come back yet?
I can’t even measure how bored I am today.
I can’t even measure how bored I am today.
If you’re really bored, you could try finding out the volume of figs, dates and eggs produced in the U.S. each year. And when you find out, let me know, please.
Did your patron specify what kind of eggs she was curious about? Or just “eggs” as a blanket statement?
Albeit summer boredom is epitomized by the wait for training camps to begin and researching agricultural yields for bizarre looking fruits and other farmed commodities, I have something worse: sifting through Paradise Lost for the paradoxical examples of Ptolemic and Capernican astronomy. How I long for the bawdy verse of the Earl of Rochester…
Stalky, you got me beat there. I’m just sitting here at work ignoring my actual job; at least I’ve got sudokus to keep me warm. Pardoxical examples of Ptolemic and Capernican astronomy in Paradise Lost? Um, wow.
How I long for the bawdy verse of the Earl of Rochester…
By the way, I have no doubt that’s the most commonly-uttered phrase in the Devils’ dressing room.
How I long for the bawdy verse of the Earl of Rochester…
By the way, I have no doubt that’s the most commonly-uttered phrase in the Devils’ dressing room.
Gio: For the last time, my name is not Earl!
Seriously, wow Stalky. I, uh, envy you?
I can only hope Doc and Chico will drop the “Rochester Rocket” nickname in favor of “The Earl of Rochester”. Or, at the very least, if Staffy can’t make the Sabres out of training camp, that he forces his Amerks teammates to call him that.
You guys might be happy to know that not only is Staffy expected to be a full time Sabre this year, he is also expected to be the captain within a few minutes of arriving in the dressing room. I hope Mr. Stompy is up to the task fulfilling our unrealistic expectations. At least we know his unibrow won’t disappoint. :)
The 17th Century is so not my bag.
But here’s some fun facts about the Earl to share with your friends:
The Earl wrote some very explicit verse, mostly about sex outdoors, in the public parks of 17th Century London.
He was censured by the Crown and the House of Lords.
He died from syphilis.
Please let the season start in August…please…
I bet Staffy is having a “C” shaved into his unibrow as we speak. Only, like Pando and his poorly-executed “9″ in high school, Staffy will put that “C” in backwards. And he’ll have to turn it into a “D”, which he’ll claim represents a commitment to team defense.
The Earl wrote some very explicit verse, mostly about sex outdoors, in the public parks of 17th Century London.
He was censured by the Crown and the House of Lords.
He died from syphilis.
Why is it I suddenly feel like “Earl of Rochester” is a better nickname for Patty than for Gio? (Or, better yet, most of the Rangers?)
I’m thinking of going in for a medically-induced coma until October. I can’t believe it’s not even August yet.
Poor Staffy, taking such a beating before noon on a Monday. Don’t worry, Staffy, I believe in you! And because I believe in him, he’ll turn that backwards C into a P for Pookie. Or, because the brow is resplendent enough, he could just write “Oops, that C was supposed to be facing the other direction. Now, here are my thought pardoxical examples of Ptolemic and Capernican astronomy in Paradise Lost…”
Actually, when Staffy realizes the C in his unibrow is backwards, it’s going to become a really uncomfortable, ugly scene, as the only recourse he understands is to stomp. And he’ll just end up exhausting himself by trying to stomp his own eyebrow.
Staffy needs to take Crunchy’s “Own the Brow” seminar.
Staffy read the literature about that seminar and was like, “Dude, yours is a cocky, kind of sexy monocle brow. Mine’s a surly unibrow. You have no idea how I suffer.” And then he stomped the seminar pamphlet.
sifting through Paradise Lost for the paradoxical examples of Ptolemic and Capernican astronomy.
Yikes…I read Paradise Lost once and that was quite enough for me. And there was no sifting involved.
I find Nora Roberts novels are the most intellectually taxing literature I can handle. I’ll leave the heavy reading to you guys — let me know how Paradise Lost ends, will you? :P (Let me guess — they solve the mystery and end up falling in love?)
— let me know how Paradise Lost ends, will you? :P (Let me guess — they solve the mystery and end up falling in love?)
Well, they all died.
Hee, I forgot about Pando’s 9! Oh, Pando.
I really hope there is room enough in the Sabres’ dressing room for both all three eyebrows (Crunchy’s two, and Staffy’s one). The last thing we need is another facial hair power grab. Now that we’ve rid ourselves of the playoff beard curve destroying co-captains, the balance of power was finally returning to equilibrium.
I’m not sure this is a fight that Staffy can stomp his way out of. He’ll have to face Crunchy, brow-to-brow.
STAFFY STOMP NOW!
(Katebits, I don’t think Staffy liked your suggestion that he’ll have to take on Crunchy’s brows like a man.)
Everything I ever needed to know about Paradise Lost, I learned from Animal House:
Now, what can we say of John Milton’s Paradise Lost? It’s a long poem, written a long time ago, and I’m sure a lot of you have difficulty understanding exactly what Milton was trying to say. Certainly we know that he was trying to describe the struggle between good and evil, right? Okay. The most intriguing character, as we all know from our reading, was…Satan. Now was Milton trying to tell us that being bad was more fun than being good? [no response] OK, don’t write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He’s a little bit long-winded, he doesn’t translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible.
In order to get us away from all this smart-talk about literature and other such nonsense I am chiming in with an important announcement.
I watched a movie called ‘Clay Pigeons’ last night. Don’t know if any of you guys have ever seen it, but it was pretty good. Anywho, I made a startling revelation. Do a Google image search for Vince Vieluf. He’s an actor you might recognize…you might not. Anyways, he was in this movie and from the second he came on screen, all I could think was “holy shit! Pommerdoodle!”. Check it out, it’s uncanny.
And happy late birfday Katebits!!! hope it was the best ever!
Oh, Katebits, how were the cakebits and beerbits? Did you get any good presents for your birthday?
Was that a threat Staffy?
Hey thanks, andrew! My birthday was fantastic. My fabulous friends threw an impromptu party and fun was had by all.
andrew, I think we actually own “Clay Pigeons” on DVD… but I couldn’t offhand remember anyone being especially Pommerdoodly in it. So I googled that guy, and holy crap! It’s a Pommerdoodle Doppelganger! (A Pommerganger? Doppeldoodle?)
Was that a threat Staffy?
Maybe Staffy was going to stomp out a love-poem or a song or something. His proclivity towards stomping seems like the actions of a rageful dullard incapable of normal social interaction, but maybe he just find the language of stomping to be more eloquent.
Was that a threat Staffy?
Let’s just say that Crunchy and his monocle brow better watch their back. Or, uh, I guess toes and feet. Or hands, if he spends a lot of time crawling around on the floor. Just watch whatever is in stomping range, that’s all. Because Staffy will stomp a bitch!
The cakebits and beerbits (actually, I ended up going with winebits) were plentiful, I don’t think I will ever be hungry again.
Rib-bits! Delicious smoked ribbits!
Wow! The Pommerganger is redonk! Awww, I miss Pommers. When is hockey going to start?
I think pommerdopperdoodle.
Your welcome Katebits! Glad to hear the friends hooked you up! Hopefully the Philly Phanatic was able to attend.
And seriously Schnookie, that guys Pommerdoodlocity is off the charts. Crazy.
Aww, someday you will step out on to your balcony, and there will be Staffy, furiously stomping out his ode to Pookie.
How do I love thee Pookie?….let me stomp the ways
pommerdoppeldoodle! Perfect!
Everything I ever needed to know about Paradise Lost, I learned from Animal House
That’s great Amy. In college the professor I had when I studied Paradise Lost had begun his career studying Milton and even he admitted to the class that the man was insufferable (not in those words, but that was the gist).
Glad to hear the friends hooked you up! Hopefully the Philly Phanatic was able to attend.
Dammit! The Philly Phantic was NOT there. Here I thought I had a perfectly wonderful birthday…..
I am very fortunate to have friends willing to put up with me. I would not say i am a flake in general, but I definitely have flaky tendencies when it comes to making birthday plans. How am I supossed to know what I am going to want to do one my birthday? I hate making birthday plans because I hate the idea of having to do something I’m not in the mood for on my birthday…..so i refuse to commit to a plan and everyone rolls their eyes at me (and rightly so).
Everything I ever needed to know about Paradise Lost, I learned from Animal House
I agree that’s FANTASTIC, Amy. I can really only hope we’re the only hockey blog that will feature that comment today!
Katebits, your talk of birthday foodbits is making me really hungry. Mmmm… ribbits. (I vowed I was going to make some this summer and haven’t done it yet. And I keep convincing myself summer’s almost over, so I’m suddenly in a panic thinking, “I haven’t made ribs yet!” And then I look at my calendar and just… die a painful little death.)
andrew, I think you found, in that pommerdoppeldoodle, a new level of pommerdoodlousness. He’s off the charts.
And he’ll just end up exhausting himself by trying to stomp his own eyebrow.
Or knock himself unconscious, whichever comes first.
andrew, I think you found, in that pommerdoppeldoodle, a new level of pommerdoodlousness. He’s off the charts.
He’s off the poomerdoodledoppler.
And he’ll just end up exhausting himself by trying to stomp his own eyebrow.
Or knock himself unconscious, whichever comes first.
With that thick skull? It’s tough to tell. Maybe some kind-hearted soul would come by and break it up after a few hours.
And then I look at my calendar and just… die a painful little death.
Until hockey, I rather enjoyed summer. The destroying of a previously enjoyable season is my least favorite thing about hockey. Well, that and the fact that I feel like I have been through an actual breakup through free agency. It’s a toss up which is worse, hating summer, or realizing you are nutty enough to go through the 12 Stages of Loss because an athlete you liked became a Ranger.
The pommerdoodledoppler is showing high concentrations of pommerdoodlocity in the area of that actor. That’s for sure — I mean, the chart is all splotchy and green around him. Doesn’t that mean a high-pressure pommerdoolocity system?
mmmm…foodbits.
So I wandered over to IPBeats and checked out the new fridge. That thing is absolutely imposing. Awesome.
I have to laugh though, when I skimmed over this nugget:
“which we’ve used to grow corn, onions, scallions, herbs, zucchinis, catnip, peppers, tomatoes, carrots, tomatillos, beets, radishes, turnips, lettuce, spinach, mesclun, spicy mesclun, and garlic.”
At first glance I thought it said mescalin. I was like, holy crap, these girls are wild! I’m retarded…guess you gotta love Monday mornings, huh?
The destroying of a previously enjoyable season is my least favorite thing about hockey.
Wow, Katebits, your newfound hockey fandom is, like, an epically tragic thing, isn’t it? So much pain and trauma! Hockey works out perfectly for me because I already hated summer. But now I have an easy short answer for explaining why when people stare at me incredulously as I don’t share their enthusiasm for stiflingly hot and humid weather.
At first glance I thought it said mescalin. I was like, holy crap, these girls are wild!
Oh, we totally grow mescalin. But we planted that in the backyard. It just made more sense not to advertise it, right?
Wow, Katebits, your newfound hockey fandom is, like, an epically tragic thing, isn’t it? So much pain and trauma!
Hee. I know! It’s a miracle I can get up in the morning!
“Oh, we totally grow mescalin.”
Hey, maybe IPB can earn an ‘R’ rating for “mild drug references” now!
Oh, we totally grow mescalin.
Do you grow it in pill form?
Until hockey, I rather enjoyed summer. The destroying of a previously enjoyable season is my least favorite thing about hockey
Summer was one of my favorite seasons when I lived in Buffalo. In NYC? Not so much. But I can’t say my enjoyment or non-enjoyment has been much affected by hockey.
Sadly, no mascalin in our garden. But we do have a prodigous catnip bush that the neighborhood cats quite enjoy (when the garden isn’t fenced).
Do you grow it in pill form?
Yes. It’s amazing, you just drop a few pills into well-fertilized soil that gets 6-8 hours of sunlight a day, water regularly, and in 95-110 days you’ll be harvesting your own mescalin pills. It’s a very hardy, pest-resistant plant that isn’t prone to bolting.
Summer was one of my favorite seasons when I lived in Buffalo. In NYC? Not so much.
Are you suggesting I should give summer a shot somewhere other than the mid-Atlantic region? Because I tried it in Arizona and it was even worse… :P
Summer was one of my favorite seasons when I lived in Buffalo.
Totally. The summer here is awesome. I was just kidding about not liking summer anymore, but I will admit, that the new sense of summertime impatience is a strange phenomena of my hockey fandom. Until this year, if I was going to be fretful about the passage of time during the summer, it was because time was moving too fast. Now, I sort of wish things would hurry up and move along. Honestly, I can’t be pleased.
Summer is the worst and always has been. Last night I declared I was going to send videotapes of what we watched in the evening to the NHL offices and say, “This is what I’ve been reduced to! Please, take pity on us all and give us some hockey, gosh-darnnit!”
This has been the worst summer I can remember, from an “impatient for hockey” standpoint. I have never been this antsy this early. And fall is my favorite season (by a MILE), so I always end up getting Fall Fever sometime during the doldrums of summer, but normally it doesn’t happen until mid-August or so. This year I’ve had insufferable Fall Fever since early July. (The fact that it looks like a chilly, Septembry rain outside today is not helping in the least…) Someday I’m going to write the “Schnookie’s Almanac of Emotions” in which I’ll document this summer as the most rife with anticipation in recorded history.
Schnookie - summer in Buffalo is amazing. From the beginning of July to the end of August, every weekend has some sort of festival/lawn fete/fair to go to. And to top it off, the weather’s gorgeous (usually).
Football training camps start this week. That means hockey’s not far behind, right? ;o)
Are you suggesting I should give summer a shot somewhere other than the mid-Atlantic region? Because I tried it in Arizona and it was even worse… :P
I’m shocked, shocked I tell you, that the southwest is worse.
Buffalo summers are, I’d say, for the most part kind of like September is here. Lots of mid-to-high seventies, low humidity days. It’s lovely.
Football training camps start this week. That means hockey’s not far behind, right?
THIS WEEK? How did I not know this?? (Is it because I’ve been avoiding all mainstream sports media this summer? Probably.) I always hold NFL training camps as the first big “summer’s winding down” benchmarks (even though they mean no such thing), so as you can probably imagine, this news has me…
POMMERDOODLING!
“This is what I’ve been reduced to! Please, take pity on us all and give us some hockey, gosh-darnnit!”
You should see me huddled over my laptop watching hockey games on a screen the size of a post-it note! Hockey on Google Video is so awesome and so absurd.
Things do feel very, very dull now that even the effects of the free agency frenzy have died down.
In my opinion, you Buffalonians are lucky. Summer out here starts around early-mid May and doesn’t end until early-mid October. Late June to early September is when it’s constantly hovering around 100 outside. Makes me wish I lived in a colder climate! But hey, at least it’s not humid.
Buffalo summers are, I’d say, for the most part kind of like September is here. Lots of mid-to-high seventies, low humidity days. It’s lovely.
I can see how that would make someone much more favorably inclined towards the season. Because this Philly-area sweltering, swamp-assy heat is just not my bag… (Of course, the way things are going this summer, it’s seems like it’s been positively Buffalonian. Really, aside from being bereft of hockey, so far this summer hasn’t been bad at all.)
Schnookie, ESPN has a list of what camps are starting when. I’m happy because Bills camp means I’ll have JP Losman to look at during local sports reports.
Football training camps start this week. That means hockey’s not far behind, right?
POMMERDOODLING!
Really?! Should I be Pommerdoodling too?! Cause I will! I am perfectly willing to get sucked into some peripheral pommerdoodling. Isn’t that what pommerdoodling is all about, really?
Hee. I’m amusing myself with the image of all of us in the same room, and then one person starts pommerdoodling and all the others follow suit….just because it’s so FUN to get all pommerdoodled up….and then the room becomes a crazy scene of outrageous human pommerdoodling. Yipping and jumping for joy…..for no apparent reason.
Schnookie, ESPN has a list of what camps are starting when. I’m happy because Bills camp means I’ll have JP Losman to look at during local sports reports.
Amy, thanks to SportsSquee, I recently discovered that our quarterback is a big time hottie. I had no idea.
Summer out here starts around early-mid May and doesn’t end until early-mid October.
Man, that’s what I couldn’t handle in AZ. The first 100-degree day would be in early April, and you wouldn’t see the low side of 99 degrees until close to Halloween. What was I thinking moving there? (Really. I mean, my favorite thing in the world is sweater weather. Talk about being retarded…)
What was I thinking moving there?
What were you guys thinking moving there? Also, is there anything worse than knitting when you’re hot? God I hate that.
Katebits, you’re absolutely right that pommerdoodling is just like yawning. As soon as one person’s doing it, everyone else can’t help but start doing it themselves.
As for following NFL camps, I am a fan-at-large. I adore football, but am like that worst kind of fan in that I don’t have any particularly deeply-felt team alliegence. I will watch whichever game on Sunday has the best broadcast pair and is in the crispest HD. So now I’m just pommerdoodling at the prospect of having preseason games to watch on TV. Because that will certainly do nothing to increase my Fall Fever to unhealthy levels.
“Also, is there anything worse than knitting when you’re hot?”
I have never knitted, so I can’t speak to the level of misery that hot-knitting can bring. But! I will say that sitting on the couch, doing absolutely nothing and still sweating is a pretty damn miserable thing.
What were you guys thinking moving there? Also, is there anything worse than knitting when you’re hot? God I hate that.
You know what I’ll give Phoenix? I love the Suns. I hate the NBA, have no real patience for televised basketball, and wouldn’t notice if the league folded tomorrow. But I really, really like the Suns and always have, even when they weren’t the darlings of the basketball world thanks to Steve Nash. And I love the energy in Phoenix for their Suns. Other than that (and the charm of seeing Christmas lights on cacti), there’s nothing to recommend living there. (We moved there for family, and I was looking for a change when I quit grad school.)
I actually stopped knitting when we were out in the desert. In part because there’s no real point to making sweaters and scarves when you’re never going to wear them, and in part because I didn’t like any of the yarn shops there. Instead we found the best needlework shop in the country, and got into stitching.
Amy, thanks to SportsSquee, I recently discovered that our quarterback is a big time hottie. I had no idea.
Adding to his squee-ness, he actually lives in the city proper, and has started a foundation to clean up the city on block at a time. (I have a soft spot for professional athletes who live in a city and not in a McMansion in the burbs.)
Also, is there anything worse than knitting when you’re hot?
As long as I have a fan blowing directly on me, I don’t mind knitting when its hot.
I will say that sitting on the couch, doing absolutely nothing and still sweating is a pretty damn miserable thing.
This is why I can’t comprehend not having air conditioning.
Yeah, life without AC is a foreign concept as far as I’m concerned!
Schnookie, I have cousins out in Phoenix and I swear that place is hell on Earth in the summertime. When we were kids we would visit every year. I remember we would have to go down to the store and buy several 10 lb. blocks of ice to throw in the pool, so that the water would be suitable for swimming. Un-real.
I spent a summer in the mountainous part of New Mexico (Taos), and I LOVED it there. This will sound stupid, but I liked the hippie/mystical/turquoisejewlery scene there. If I lived in NM full time, I would totally become one of those crazy mountain ladies.
I don’t get the feeling that Phoenix has that same vibe. This is based purely on nothing, but when I think “Phoenix” I think strip malls, and SUVs and housing developments.
Adding to his squee-ness, he actually lives in the city proper, and has started a foundation to clean up the city on block at a time. (I have a soft spot for professional athletes who live in a city and not in a McMansion in the burbs.)i
SHUT THE HELL UP! Do you realize you have just made me LOVE JP Loseman?! Seriously, now I have to start caring about the Bills. Wow, Amy, this changes everything.
You know, Crunchy lives in the city too….right off Bidwell Parkway, I hear. It’s part of why I love Crunchy so much.
I remember we would have to go down to the store and buy several 10 lb. blocks of ice to throw in the pool, so that the water would be suitable for swimming.
I did like that our pool was like a giant bathtub, for how warm it got in the summer. Although I’ve heard of them getting too hot, so I guess I should be thankful we never had to resort to ice blocks. The thing that kills me about Phoenix summers is that they have monsoons in August, so it’s 115 and crazy humid. All that “it’s a dry heat” crap just pissed me off. I mean, yeah, it is for a lot of the summer, but dudes — the monsoons.
Adding to his squee-ness, he actually lives in the city proper
Oh! That is definitely squee-worthy!
Sorry about all those italics. As excited as I am about JP Losman’s urban renewal charity, I’m not that excited.
“…but when I think “Phoenix” I think strip malls, and SUVs and housing developments.”
I just was there in March, Kate. From what I saw, you pretty much have the right idea. But sadly, it seems like that’s how everything looks these days.
I am reeling (REELING) from the news of JP’s extreme squeeitude. You guys, on top of his efforts to save Buffalo, he is a genuine Hottie McHotterson. This is the best reason to care about football I’ve encountered since moving to Buffalo.
I don’t get the feeling that Phoenix has that same vibe.
Nope, the Phoenix vibe is all golf courses, old people, strip malls and breast implants. You know — just my scene!
You know, Crunchy lives in the city too….right off Bidwell Parkway, I hear.
He’s planning to tear down then entire surrounding neighborhood so he can build a 75,000 square foot McMansion, with bowling alley, indoor ice rink, recording studio and a Pommerdoodle grooming parlor. And a room with a regulation catwalk so he can practice for his fashion shows. (At the same time he’s also campaigning fervently for the city to put in new recumbent bike lanes on all the streets. He’s very conflicted about his lifestyle.)
but when I think “Phoenix” I think strip malls, and SUVs and housing developments.”
That’s about it. And Devils games starting at 4 pm. It was awful. And, actually, for the record, we lived in Scottsdale, not Phoenix. So it was SUVs, strip malls, housing developments and beautiful people. We really didn’t fit in.
I hear you on the Taos front. I spent a summer in Santa Fe and it was lovely. While the touristy stuff in Santa Fe proper would definitely get to me after a little while, I could handle living in Tesuque, which is just down the street.
SHUT THE HELL UP! Do you realize you have just made me LOVE JP Losman?! Seriously, now I have to start caring about the Bills. Wow, Amy, this changes everything.
Glad I could help!
You know, Crunchy lives in the city too….right off Bidwell Parkway
I wonder if CrunchySpotting is a sport at Buff Sem?
life without AC is a foreign concept as far as I’m concerned
Add me to the list of the few, the proud, the un-airconditioned.
Add me to the list of the few, the proud, the un-airconditioned.
Well, I’m told your hot months feel an awful lot like New Jersey in the Fall, so I won’t consider you clinically insane. But I’m going to be observing you closely for further signs of possible mental instability, just to be careful! :P
Amy, you’re a braver soul than I. But you were to try and pull that no AC business out here, I think you’d sing a different tune!
Add me to the list of the few, the proud, the un-airconditioned.
I’m on that list too, but I shouldn’t really qualify for any pats on the back. The coastal breeze does our cooling for us. Last night was kind of warm, though. So I said “fuck it” and turned the fan on “medium”.
He’s planning to tear down then entire surrounding neighborhood so he can build a 75,000 square foot McMansion, with bowling alley, indoor ice rink, recording studio and a Pommerdoodle grooming parlor. And a room with a regulation catwalk so he can practice for his fashion shows. (At the same time he’s also campaigning fervently for the city to put in new recumbent bike lanes on all the streets. He’s very conflicted about his lifestyle.)
:^:::::::::::
Schnookie, the city of Buffalo has already constructed an elevated recumbent bike path directly from Crunchy’s house to HSBC arena. He is the only person in town allowed to use it; the rest of us just have to live in its hideous shadow. (Seriously, my entire backyard lost all of it’s sunlight when Crunchy’s bike path was built overhead.
Seriously though, the neighborhood that Crunchy lives in is the most delightful part of town. I am very impressed with his fine tastes. Buffalo is a city of dilapidated mansions….whatever house Crunchy bought is sure to be kind of a handful from a homeowner’s perspective. I think it speaks volumes about him that he chose a place with real character rather than a cookie-cutter new house in the burbs. Good old Crunchy!
I wonder if CrunchySpotting is a sport at Buff Sem?
Hee. I never thought about that Amy. I bet those girls can barely function with Crunchy so near!
Last night was kind of warm, though. So I said “fuck it” and turned the fan on “medium”.
Oh, the reckless abandon!
Buffalo is a city of dilapidated mansions…
I think I’m going to have to do some more exploring of Buffalo in October than we did on our last trip. We kind of saw of Buffalo what was visible from our hotel room and on the tram to the arena. I’m volunteering you, Katebits, to be our tour guide. I’m especially intrigued to see this eyesore of a recumbent bike path. I bet next year Crunchy’s going to demand they expand it to make it big enough for him to drive his Hummer on it.
I’m sure Staffy can take care of that elevated recumbant bike path with a few well-placed strategic stomps.
I’m sure Staffy can take care of that elevated recumbant bike path with a few well-placed strategic stomps.
You wish! Crunchy planned for that contingency and had the world’s finest stomping engineers construct the biggest, most unstompable elevated recumbent bike path in the history of the universe!!! (Someday it will be, like the Titanic, a compelling tale of hubris and human tragedy.)
Buffalo is a city of dilapidated mansions…
I think I’m going to have to do some more exploring of Buffalo in October than we did on our last trip. We kind of saw of Buffalo what was visible from our hotel room and on the tram to the arena. I’m volunteering you, Katebits, to be our tour guide.
Ooh, while I’m sure Katebits will be a wonderful tour guide, I’m still going to throw my 2 cents in right now and heartily recommend going to the Darwin Martin house. The first time I toured it they were just starting restoration beyond making it safe for visitors and had yet to start the reconstruction but not they’re making a lot of progress on the reconstruction as well. It’s really interesting to see not only the architecture but also the process of restoration.
Katebits’s workplace is also interesting if you’re interested in architecture.
Ooh, and city hall is worth taking a gander at as well.
And if you’re into modern art at all, the art museum is first class.
We kind of saw of Buffalo what was visible from our hotel room and on the tram to the arena.
Yikes! I can’t wait to show you the good stuff!
When they built Crunchy’s bike path everyone kept saying, “Crunchy, think ahead, you’re not going to want to ride your recumbent into work year round…it gets very cold here.” And Crunchy kept insisting that he was going to ride his recumbent everyday, no matter what. Sigh. It turns out there is no way to expand his current bike path to accommodate his Hummer, so they are tearing it down and starting over. Sadly, the whole thing is going to be made out of rare rain forest wood. The wood isn’t strong enough to withstand more than one year of Buffalo winter, so every year the whole path will need to be replaced…..
The environment would be better off if Crunchy had bought a house in the burbs and a helicopter for the commute.
I’m sure Staffy can take care of that elevated recumbant bike path with a few well-placed strategic stomps.
This is exactly why Staffy spent so much time in Rochester this year.
Wow, Meg, it sounds like we missed quite a bit when we opted to sit in our room in Buffalo and play Boggle for four days! I think we need to start keeping a list of the things we should check out while we’re there…
Katebits, I had no idea Crunchy was going to demand the path be rebuilt every year, but I guess it makes sense. I seem to recall reading somewhere that he wanted them to make it a 4-season path by covering it, and he was going to ask for the roof to be made of Andean Condor eggshells. Is that true, or just a malicious rumor?
…….and he was going to ask for the roof to be made of Andean Condor eggshells
Sadly, it’s true. The City leveled the entire east side to build a state of the art Andean Condor breeding center (they just kill the condor zygots, all they need is the shell, really). Thousands of school children now need to be bused to suburban schools because their old schools are being used to house the generators necessary to power the heat lamps the eggs require. It’s a big mess, especially now that the new Hummer has been released. No one anticipated the new Hummer line being so much heavier. Once the path designers realized they would have to start over, they decided that the rain forest wood path was the way to go because it would be easier to dismantle each year as the Hummer gets bigger and bigger…..of course the delicate nature of the rain forest wood also makes the path more vulnerable to a Staffy stomp…..
The worst part about the whole Hummer path is that Crunchy intends to wait until it’s finished before unveiling his custom gold-plated stretch Hummer. He plans to gently nose it just far enough onto the path that it will buckle under the weight of his mighty car, and then he’ll shoot the death glare at the army of engineers, the city fathers, the condor breeders, and the schoolchildren. And the burning power of his scorn will be enough to send the entire city into further spirals of shame and self-loathing.
……and after all that, he intends to sign with the Maple Leafs when his contract is up in two years. Crunchy has set his “complete destruction” death glare on Buffalo.
(That is unless the Staffy Stomp can save us!)
All the more reason to give Staffy the Overt C! Of course, it will be interesting to watch the dynamic of an Overt Captain and a Secret Captain acting in opposition to each other. I hope Pommerdoodle doesn’t get caught in the crossfire.
You wish! Crunchy planned for that contingency and had the world’s finest stomping engineers construct the biggest, most unstompable elevated recumbent bike path in the history of the universe!!! (Someday it will be, like the Titanic, a compelling tale of hubris and human tragedy.)
Staffy will try and stomp it to smithereens and nothing will happen. However, Crunchy had his Hummer coverted from running on gasoline to running on poison dart frogs. One such frog will fall out of the exhaust pipe and Staffy will ginerly creep over to save it, with the intention of nursing it back to health and using it’s precious toxins to cure cancer. But the last mincing step he takes will hit the bike path’s sweet spot, and down it will go, crushing all of Buffalo beneath it.
Staffy will ginerly creep over to save it, with the intention of nursing it back to health and using it’s precious toxins to cure cancer.
Or use it as a frog of affairs. Someone’s got to schedule to stomping and cow burning.
And who better to schedule those kinds of events than a highly toxic frog?
Or use it as a frog of affairs. Someone’s got to schedule to stomping and cow burning.
Oh, good point! Dartworthy will make Staffy’s busy schedule so much more manageable!
That poison-dart-frog-of-affairs makes Boxworthy look like a pile of puke.
(Is the frog called Toxworthy? Is Staffy that much of a hanger-on?)
Oh, the humanity!
(I like the idea of Crunchy stuffing brightly colored frogs into his Hummer gas tank with an ornery scowl.)
Dartworthy! He’s great. When he’s not scheduling stompings and curing cancer, you can lick him an gain hockey super strengths.
Toxworthy works too.
Actually, he shoves them into the gas tank. “Quit wriggling and just… get… down… the hole!”
Poor Pommers has heard that from Crunchy a few too many times himself…..
Poor Pommers has heard that from Crunchy a few too many times himself…
Wait… I thought Briere was the sexual predator on that team!
Dartworthy! He’s great. When he’s not scheduling stompings and curing cancer, you can lick him an gain hockey super strengths.
The side-effects of licking Dartworthy include excessive eyebrow growth, uncontrolable rage and an increase in one’s ability to bad-ass-rock the house.
Toxworthy was the original toxic-frog-of-affairs, but he met an unfortunate end when a night of setting fire to cows went awry. Dartworthy had it written into his contract that he would schedule the cow-explosions, but not participate in the actual events. That’s why Staffy had to ask Patty Elias for a reccomendation for a good hench-animal.
Actually, he shoves them into the gas tank. “Quit wriggling and just… get… down… the hole!”
Poor Pommers has heard that from Crunchy a few too many times himself…..
Way. Too. Nasty.
Hey! Is there comment manipulation at work here, or have I just been licking too many frogs recently?
Wait… I thought Briere was the sexual predator on that team!
You guys have such dirty minds! Crunchy was simply referring to the hole in his backyard where Pommerdoodle lives!
You guys have such dirty minds!
Yes. And?
Crunchy was simply referring to the hole in his backyard where Pommerdoodle lives!
Riiiiiiiiiight.
Hey! Is there comment manipulation at work here, or have I just been licking too many frogs recently?
I was wondering the same thing myself. Was there originally something else betwee comments 111 and 115?
Katebits, I totally misread your comment and thought you said that Crunchy shoves the frogs up his tailpipe (if you know what I mean… And what I mean is that he puts frogs in his car’s tailpipe. What were you thinking?). So then I left my comment and realized as I hit submit that I was just repeating what you’d said. And tried to delete it without anyone noticing. Sorry!
(Although I don’t doubt you’ve been licking too many frogs, too. I’ve heard all kinds of talk about the kind of bacchanal you Oberlin violist types engage in on birthdays.)
You guys have such dirty minds! Crunchy was simply referring to the hole in his backyard where Pommerdoodle lives!
If you know what I mean.
That’s why Staffy had to ask Patty Elias for a reccomendation for a good hench-animal.
Wait. So, Toxworthy was a toxic-frog-of-affairs, but Dartworthy is a hench-frog? No wonder Staffy and Dartworthy withhold Dartworthy’s cancer curing properties from the world! Dartworthy is quite possibly eee-vil.
Poor Crunchy has an awfully crowded backyard, what with all the frogs and Pommerdoodles holed up back there. (If you know what I mean.) (And what I mean is all the frogs and Pommerdoodles are up Crunchy’s butt.)
(And what I mean is all the frogs and Pommerdoodles are up Crunchy’s butt.)
Which explains both the crankiness and his belief that he needs to eat a lot of granola.
Oh, poor Crunchy.
Yeah, Crunchy’s taking quite a beating today, isn’t he? (Of course, I love that it’s the suggestion that he eats granola to stay regular that prompts the “poor Crunchy”, not the rest of the stuff we’ve said about him.)
You know, Crunchy lives in the city too….right off Bidwell Parkway, I hear. It’s part of why I love Crunchy so much.
Quite a few guys live in the city, I think. I know Derek Roy does - based on what I’ve heard he bought a bit of a fix-upper and is doing a lot of work on it. Andrew Peters does. I don’t know for sure where Hank lives but I’ve heard him talk about hanging out with the kids at Delaware Park. Brian Campbell lived in Buffalo, moved to Williamsville, but is planning on moving back to Buffalo because he feels like he’s far away from the action.
My brother-in-law who works for Jim Kelly hung out with JP Losman during Kelly’s football camp and said he’s a really nice guy who was wonderful with all the campers.
:D
I was just thinking that same thing, Schnookie. It seems perfectly fine that we have speculated he is plotting the demise of Buffalo by ecological terrorism….but that the guy is irregular?
Poor, baby.
It seems perfectly fine that we have speculated he is plotting the demise of Buffalo by ecological terrorism….but that the guy is irregular?
Poor, baby.
I know! I just want to mix up a nice warm glass of metamucil for him and stroke his hair and tell him it’s all going to be all right. (And I might suggest, when he’s relaxed a little, that he stop shoving poison dart frogs up his tailpipe — I mean, Crunchy, there’s your problem…)
I also love how Heather skipped right over all of the crazy stuff and commented on the last reasonable thing any one has said in here.
Kate, I actually skipped to the bottom of the thread to comment while I had that in my head, but yeah, I really have nothing to add to the last 20 or so comments.
I know! I just want to mix up a nice warm glass of metamucil for him and stroke his hair and tell him it’s all going to be all right. (And I might suggest, when he’s relaxed a little, that he stop shoving poison dart frogs up his tailpipe — I mean, Crunchy, there’s your problem…)
:^::::
This is the thing that is so endearing about Crunchy! Most of his problems are totally self created. He needs us, Schnookie! And by us, I mean me.
I didn’t mean it, Schnookie!
but yeah, I really have nothing to add to the last 20 or so comments.
Must be that Heather doesn’t live in an area directly effected by the Hummer path. Typical NIMBY American, that Heather. But it’s all fun and games until Crunchy’s delusions of grandeur bring down the entire infrastructure of your city!
He needs us, Schnookie! And by us, I mean me.
Speaking of delusions of grandeur. Need I remind you that I’m the one who peels his raisins?
Of course not, Schnookie. In all matters of Crunchy’s raisins, I defer to you. Although, I’m wondering if you aren’t being a little withholding these days. Shouldn’t Crunchy be a little less cranky if he is having his raisins properly peeled. (I mean, plotting to crush Buffalo beneath his Hummer path is extremely cranky, even for Crunchy.) Are you mad at him or something?
Shouldn’t Crunchy be a little less cranky if he is having his raisins properly peeled.
Stopping the whole frog affair might help too…
Wait. So, Toxworthy was a toxic-frog-of-affairs, but Dartworthy is a hench-frog? No wonder Staffy and Dartworthy withhold Dartworthy’s cancer curing properties from the world! Dartworthy is quite possibly eee-vil.
I think I didn’t make myself clear. I meant to imply that Dartworthy schedules Staffy’s various nefarious deeds, but doesn’t partake, and thus Staffy needed to get a seperate hench-animal to do the dirty work Dartworthy turns his toxic little nose up at. Of course, this doesn’t rule out that Dartworthy is quite possibly eeee-vil. In fact, I think Dartworthy is almost certainly eeee-vil.
Sadly, Mags is right. No matter how often or how skillfully I peel his raisins, the poison dart frogs up the tailpipe keep Crunchy every which kind of cranky.
I’ve just had word from the (impromptu) goalie council (ie, Si, Maurits, Caspar, Ilse and I [the people who fled the movie]) and we’ve decided we draw the line at putting frogs up tailpipes. Any more of this lunacy and we may have to excommunicate Crunchy from the Church of Netminding.
Poor, Crunchy!
Aww, Toxworthy was the hench-turtle, and they are both eeee-vil. Dartworthy spins a pretty nefarious plot for a frog living within the safe confines of Staffy’s compound.
Any more of this lunacy and we may have to excommunicate Crunchy from the Church of Netminding.
Somehow I can’t imagine that Crunchy is the religious type. I see him as more of the “There Is No God.”- type.
Sadly, Mags is right. No matter how often or how skillfully I peel his raisins, the poison dart frogs up the tailpipe keep Crunchy every which kind of cranky.
Poor, Crunchy!
Ahhh, Toxworthy was the hench-turtle, and they are both eeee-vil. Dartworthy spins a pretty nefarious plot for a frog living within the safe confines of Staffy’s compound.
Any more of this lunacy and we may have to excommunicate Crunchy from the Church of Netminding.
Somehow I can’t imagine that Crunchy is the religious type. I see him as more of the “There Is No God.”- type.
Whoops. Sorry about that.
Double comment. That was cute.
Sorry’s not enough, Katebits.
Somehow I can’t imagine that Crunchy is the religious type. I see him as more of the “There Is No God.”- type.<