The 37th in our 118-part series.
5-on-3 Penalty Kills
Doc calls them “The Iron Three”: the guys who have to go out and kill a two-man disadvantage. And seriously, what’s cooler than that? Than three stalwart defenders out-thinking and out-playing five attackers? As far as we’re concerned, a 5-on-3 penalty kill is as much as a momentum shifter as a shortie — and a 5-on-3 shorthanded goal? Forget about it. Of course, we don’t get to see our own boys kill them very often, what with that whole “discipline” thing, but when it happens it’s the most exciting play in hockey.
Oh I know a LOT about 3-on-5s, what with Anaheim’s unique approach to “discipline”, but that just means it’s Pahlsson time.
Seriously, when it’s Pahlsson, Pronger, and Niedermayer–it’s scary how much ice can be effectively covered by this trio.
I’ve never seen anyone better on the 5-on-3 than Nieder. Back in the day we had Stevens, Daneyko and Nieder, and they were automatic. Nieder was also the first guy I ever saw score shorthanded on the 5-on-3. He is really just amazing, although I guess in the long run it’s nice to not have to see your team go down two men all that often… :P
When I read your Shorties post, I almost recounted one of my favorite goals, but I think it goes better here.
Mike Modano was killing a 5-on-3 a couple of seasons ago and was being pretty agressive on the point guy. The point man gets a hard pass from his teammate on the other point and kind of bobbles it and Modano does that cool stick trick and reaches over and lifts the guy’s stick, grabs the puck, squeezes between him and the boards and takes off on a breakaway and scores! Unbelievable.
I may be making up my favorite Nieder shortie, which was one of those trademarked “cool as a cucumber”, beat-all-five-guys-without-breaking-a-sweat 3-on-5 jobbies… um, against Dallas. In Dallas. In the SCF. Sorry Patty. (Again though, that may be a figment of my imagination…)
But Modano shorthanded is really a sight to behold, isn’t he? I love how his sweater flaps in the breeze when he skates. He just looks so much faster and more elegant than everyone else.
I looooooooove 5 on 3s. Everything that’s great about hockey is in a 5 on 3. I was totally about to write about this on my blog so thanks a lot! :P
Heh. Now if you write about it, Heather, we’ll accuse you of plagiarism!
Heh. Now if you write about it, Heather, we’ll accuse you of plagiarism!
I’ll give it a couple of weeks. That cancels out any accusations of plagiarism, right? Isn’t there some kind of statue of limitations? No?
Um, I think in blogging the statute of limitations is up after 24 hours! :P
…beat-all-five-guys-without-breaking-a-sweat 3-on-5 jobbies… um, against Dallas. In Dallas. In the SCF. Sorry Patty. (Again though, that may be a figment of my imagination…)
It’s obviously a figment, because I certainly don’t remember it. *hmph*
I actually don’t remember it, but that’s no proof that it didn’t happen.
I may be making up my favorite Nieder shortie, which was one of those trademarked “cool as a cucumber”, beat-all-five-guys-without-breaking-a-sweat 3-on-5 jobbies… um, against Dallas. In Dallas. In the SCF. Sorry Patty. (Again though, that may be a figment of my imagination…)
I do remember this. It was an amazing play, but I’m almost 100% sure that it was 4-on-5, not 3-on-5, though it’s possible Claude Lemieux had just emerged from the penalty box.
How I remember this, you might ask? Well, up to that point each Devil skater had scored a point in that series except three of them, and it was all perfectly resolved with a Niedermayer shortie, assisted by Lemieux and Pandolfo.
Don’t you wish this statbitty guy still cared one lick about the Devils anymore? :P
I know he scored a shortie, but I don’t know if it was 3-on-5. Of course, the way I remember it, the Stars were on a 15-man-advantage: it was just Nieder vs. 14 skaters and Belfour. And they each had a puck. So he had to yoink 15 pucks away from the various guys, then skate past them all (it was a special 6-mile track, so he was skating and skating and skating) and then he beat Belfour on the slickest, most jaw-dropping, ridonkulous move EVER.
Don’t you wish this statbitty guy still cared one lick about the Devils anymore? :P
I just wish I’d known you back when we lived with X.
X: TELL ME WHEN!
Schnookie: Earl, take it from here.
Earl: [Tells X exactly when.]
I’d love to see X’s brain explode when confronted by actual, real-life stats.
Earl, I’m far too lazy to compile those kinds of stats myself but I applaud you for doing so. They’re pretty interesting.
Of course, the way I remember it, the Stars were on a 15-man-advantage: it was just Nieder vs. 14 skaters and Belfour. And they each had a puck.
Are you sure that wasn’t a dream?
Claude Lemieux. Ick.
I’m POSITIVE it wasn’t a dream. IT WAS REAL!!!! TELL ME WHEN IT WASN’T REAL!!!!
Claude Lemieux. Ick.
Seconded.
Claude Lemieux. Ick.
Seconded.
But at least it wasn’t Derian Hatcher. :P
(ZING!)
Claude Lemieux. Ick.
Seconded.
Thirded.
But at least it wasn’t Derian Hatcher. :P
Watch it!
Hey, I kind of like Claude Lemieux!
Lemieux was with the Stars just that one season and I had barely ever heard of him. But I instantly loathed him. I can’t tell you why, because I don’t remember what it was. I think just because he was creepy. And he seemed to be, like, 60.
I’m shooting for an 11pm bedtime tonight so I gotta run. Good night, and I’ll miss you all tomorrow. Stupid, stupid job!
I’m with Earl, I kinda liked Claude Lemieux…must be a California thing. Do you like Avery, too??
I’ll go ahead and answer for you:
Earl: NO! Are you crazy?
Me: Ummm….no….maybe?
Do you like Avery, too??
No, but I think he’s a good villain for the league. I like a league with some hatable players, and Avery fits the bill very well.
Do you like Avery, too??
I’m not Californian by any stretch of the imagination, but you know, I couldn’t ever like him. But I could totally stomach him if he just really fucks with the Rangers.
But I could totally stomach him if he just really fucks with the Rangers.
Mmmhmmm, me too. But that’s the only free pass he’ll get from me.
He’s just annoying and what makes him even more so i that he sees nothing wrong with some of the crap he says/does and he’s really not good enough to get away with it.
I see Sean Avery as the new Matthew Barnaby. If he’s not on your team, he’s annoying as hell. But if he’s on your team, you love him and his antics.
Speaking of fucking with the Rangers, this quote from the Buffalo News had me almost on the floor with the imagery.
Drury could steal a Stanley Kowolski scene from “A Streetcar Named Desire” and show up at the HSBC Arena front doors, rip off his New York Rangers jersey and beg forgiveness — “Darrrcy! Darrrcy!”
Drury could steal a Stanley Kowolski scene from “A Streetcar Named Desire” and show up at the HSBC Arena front doors, rip off his New York Rangers jersey and beg forgiveness — “Darrrcy! Darrrcy!”
Reckon he’s capable of showing that much emotion?
What gets me about Avery is that his own team suspended him for being a jackass. Barnaby was a shit disturber, sure, but I don’t remember him making racist slurs and getting suspended by his own team. I don’t understand why, immediately upon becoming a Ranger, all of a sudden Avery’s past history of being a racist fuck was thrown out the window.
Reckon he’s capable of showing that much emotion?
It would be a sight to see if he did.
Reckon he’s capable of showing that much emotion?
Nope.
What gets me about Avery is that his own team suspended him for being a jackass. Barnaby was a shit disturber, sure, but I don’t remember him making racist slurs and getting suspended by his own team.
This is my problem too. No question, Barnaby was incredibly obnoxious if he played on any team than the one you cheered for. But I don’t recall him being the kind of bad teammate that Avery has a history of being.
I don’t understand why, immediately upon becoming a Ranger, all of a sudden Avery’s past history of being a racist fuck was thrown out the window.
I suppose by merely being a Ranger, everything else he did seems a lot less offensive in retrospect. [Kidding, of course]
I suppose by merely being a Ranger, everything else he did seems a lot less offensive in retrospect.
Out of my brain.
I suppose by merely being a Ranger, everything else he did seems a lot less offensive in retrospect.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I suppose by merely being a Ranger, everything else he did seems a lot less offensive in retrospect.
HA! So true!
I’m going to pile on with the Avery stuff here and agree with Meg and Pookie. I also love a good villain, and there are plenty of players out there that are fun to hate (Darcy Tucker, anyone?). Avery is just an ass. And his own teammates hate him. I don’t enjoy hating him because I feel like I’m being manipulated to do so, like he’s spent his whole life getting affirmation from negative attention, and now he’s parlaying being venal into becoming a millionaire. I’d rather just be able to ignore him, because prior to being — ridiculously — the guy who sparked the Rangers last year, he was just the guy the Kings couldn’t stand have come to work every day.
I’ve always suspected Avery says the things he says because he’s afraid he’ll be lost in the crowd if he doesn’t. He’s figured any attention is good attention.
Too bad he’s wrong.
I just ignore him for the most part, which I guess is easier for me since we don’t see him and the Rangers all that often. But I agree with Schnookie, he doesn’t deserve the attention or people hating on him because it’s exactly what he wants and it just takes the attention from what really matters and that’s the actual hockey.
I found it interesting that Larry Brooks printed some more stuff yesterday from the Rangers aribitration brief against Avery, and it was a lot less incendiary than the “detriment to his team” stuff — it was much more in the vein of “he’s a me-me-I-I kind of guy, and sometimes he makes contributions, but he’s never doing it for the team, he’s only doing it for himself.” And I don’t think even the biggest Sather-hater (ahem, Larry Brooks) can disagree with that assessment. His contributions to the Rangers were a byproduct of his self-promotion. And yes, ignoring him would have been a lot easier if we didn’t live in the “Sean Avery is a GOD” Rangers media market.
I’m very torn on the arbitration thing with Avery. On the one hand, I’d love to see the Rangers get screwed over. But on the other hand, I’d love to see Avery get nowhere near the $3M he’s asking for (or whatever the outlandish amount was) — I can just imagine his smushed-up, ugly face going red with apoplectic rage, spittle frothing out around his meth-mouth mouthguard as he hurls vile epithets at the arbiter… And I figure some day, probably soon, the honeymoon is going to end between him and the Rangers, and I’d rather that played out painfully on the ice for a failed season, rather than the divorce coming swiftly and painlessly in the form of Slats walking away from an aribitration ruling.
I just ignore him for the most part, which I guess is easier for me since we don’t see him and the Rangers all that often.
I did this until the Sabres had to play the Rangers in the playoffs and all anyone heard for the days leading up to it was how effective Avery would be and how he would get under the skin of the Sabres players just like he did with Atlanta. Yeah, that worked well. Avery’s just lucky he was playing against a team with no discipline in the first round. Anyway, that was a nice bit of schadenfreude for me.
I can just imagine his smushed-up, ugly face
Really? To me (at least using the picture of him on Wikipedia), he looks like a chubby version of Justin Chambers from Greys Anatomy. Your mileage may vary, of course.
Avery’s just lucky he was playing against a team with no discipline in the first round. Anyway, that was a nice bit of schadenfreude for me.
Hee hee! How hilarious was it when afterwards, Avery was totally like, “Yeah, it’s my fault. I didn’t score, and we lost. You can pin this one all on me, folks.” How douchetastic.
And I figure some day, probably soon, the honeymoon is going to end between him and the Rangers, and I’d rather that played out painfully on the ice for a failed season, rather than the divorce coming swiftly and painlessly in the form of Slats walking away from an aribitration ruling.
I’m with you on this. But a little pain to the Rangers’ cap would still be very nice.
Avery was totally like, “Yeah, it’s my fault. I didn’t score, and we lost. You can pin this one all on me, folks.” How douchetastic.
Ugh, really? Saying you’re the reason everything bad is happening is basically the same thing as saying everything good that’s happening is because of you. Somebody should get Avery a textbook and show that the world, in fact, does not revolve around him.
Somebody should get Avery a textbook and show that the world, in fact, does not revolve around him.
Shanny’s tried. But alas, not only can Avery not read, but he also can’t understand pictoral representations. Illustrations mean nothing to him.
How about choreographed demonstrations? His gal can play the sun, I mean that shouldn’t be too demanding on her, right?
See what a great villain he is? So much Avery talk, and generally he makes you appreciate most every other NHLer by comparison. He might be hatable enough to save this league.
and then he beat Belfour on the slickest, most jaw-dropping, ridonkulous move EVER.
I think I remember this. Belfour got his leg out in time and Neids put the puck right in to the pad but the puck did some anit-wacky-wall-crawler thing and climbed up over Eddies leg and across the goal line.
*cough*anti-wacky-wall-crawler*cough*
Belfour got his leg out in time and Neids put the puck right in to the pad but the puck did some anti-wacky-wall-crawler thing and climbed up over Eddies leg and across the goal line.
And then Belfour blamed his cold medicine for making his legs become insubstantial.
And then Belfour blamed his cold medicine for making his legs become insubstantial.
Belfour is also a pretty good netminder villain, too. He certainly makes me appreciate non-Belfour goaltenders more, too!
And then Belfour blamed his cold medicine for making his legs become insubstantial.
And then threw a water bottle at his back-up goalie. Accidentally.
Belfour is also a pretty good netminder villain, too. He certainly makes me appreciate non-Belfour goaltenders more, too!
See, I love to hate Belfour. LOVE IT. (Best thing about him? After his offer to bribe those policemen with “one billion dollars”, Boomer declared that Ed Belfour poops solid gold. That joke still has legs.)
And then offered a billion dollars for us all to never mention the incident on our blogs.
And then offered a billion dollars for us all to never mention the incident on our blogs.
Err, too late Several months too late.
Sherry, you should never have posted that! You just voided your very own heap of solid-gold Belfour poop! You could have retired on that poop!
Man, that could have been all my student debts paid off. Oh well, the next time he does something stupid (My over/under is in two months) I’ll remember that.
Sherry: I’m taking the “under”, but I also consider each day that Belfour does not retire to count as doing something stupid.
Oh well, the next time he does something stupid (My over/under is in two months) I’ll remember that.
Yeah, he’s not going to take it very well when the NHL season starts back up and he doesn’t have a job. I hope I’m a patron at the bar he goes to.
We’ll have to be careful to keep him away from the Staals though. It’ll go from them demanding people to ‘Buy Sod’ into offering people their gold poop.
I hope I’m a patron at the bar he goes to.
I’d be worried about getting hit by the solid-gold feces he’d be hurling at the walls…
Oh, Sherry — perish the thought! Let’s not have Belfour getting any ideas about corrupting Hockey’s Veela Family.
I think it’s all made up, I mean come on! Does this look like an angry drunk to you?
It’s all fun and games, MrFrisby, until the bar tab comes due, and Belfour’s trying to pay it off in poop! :P
I’ve, evidently seen those pictures before but seeing them again reminds me that the only word I can think of for them is “hideous”.
Wait, you don’t think hanging out with Eddie in that state would be fun?
Nah, he looks like the embodiment of that creepy-grabby-old-drunken man.
Speaking of grabby drunks, my friend is super touchy and friendly when she’s drunk. One time at a party she was already pretty far gone but she kept on wanting to drink more so we just kept on filling her glass with water, telling her it was special liquor and she proceeded to act even more drunk. Good times.
What state is that, Maine? :P
Actually, I think it would be, at least up until the point the switch in his head flips. But if he’s anything like my one friend, there is no way knowing when that point is. No warning signs at all.
Nah, he looks like the embodiment of that creepy-grabby-old-drunken man.
Yeah, he really does.
He looks kind of licky, too. Not cook.
Shudder.
I didn’t think that could get any worse. Thanks for proving me wrong, that will be haunting my dreams for awhile.
Speaking of Belfour, he’s actually today’s NHL.com Frozen Moment:
http://www.nhl.com/nhl/app?service=page&page=FrozenMoment
It all comes full-circle. Anyhoos, time to do some backwards counting on air.
Talk to you guys in 2 hours :D
I know! It seems all it takes is a very drunk Ed Belfour to make us all settle into a disgusted silence.
$1.9 million for Avery. Now where’s Vinny when we need her?
Vinny is on vacation. I think she’ll be back this weekend. I could pull up some numbers and try to be as inspired as she is.
$1.9 million? That’s kind of disappointingly right in the middle of what the two sides were asking. Hrmph. Where’s the drama in that?
Where’s the drama in that?
The drama lies in whether or not the Rangers accept the deal, and if they do, what further moves will be needed to bring them under the cap. Or, if they do accept the deal, how will Avery react to the front office’s smearing of him?
I guess now we have to wait and see if the Rangers accept it.
Stupid Devils website. The first thing I saw was Parise and I thought there was finally some good news. But no, they were just telling me about the “15 to remember” that they won’t let me watch.
Rangers might be ok cap-wise. They had $2.23 mill left to spend after Hossa and Lundy got deals.
Damn.
I think tonight’s 15 to Remember is what most consider to be the best Devils game all season. Of course, it’s against the Rangers, so I’ll probably spend the entire game diary complaining about it, just to make you feel better about missing it, MrFrisby! (It’s also a very Avery-centric game, if I recall correctly. Here’s hoping Doc and Chico spent a little less time talking about Avery than they did in the last game…)
And as for Avery’s arbitration, I realize there’s still a lot of potential drama to come, but it still would have been nice if the arbitration award had offered a bit more schadenfreude of its own accord by picking a clear-cut loser in the decision. Oh well.
Rangers might be ok cap-wise. They had $2.23 mill left to spend after Hossa and Lundy got deals.
I think the Devils and Sabres demonstrated pretty vividly last season, though, that just because you’re under the cap doesn’t mean you’re comfortably there.
I think the Devils and Sabres demonstrated pretty vividly last season, though, that just because you’re under the cap doesn’t mean you’re comfortably there.
True. And I can’t remember whether the original math Vinny and I did included the 7.5% over-cap allowance or not. If it does, they’re over and have to fix it before a set date. If it doesn’t, they’re ok.
Oh well, at least I still have youtube.
I hope the Rangers accept the contract. At this point, I don’t even care to consider how the Rangers end up playing next year, I just want it to be the ugliest dressing room in all of sports. I want them all to hate each other, and I want my ex-S,PW’s lauded leadership skills to be completely nullified by all of the assholes on the team. I want him to be miserable.
I’m feeling vengeful today.
Oh well, at least I still have youtube.
God, that video opened with Avery’s name. Obviously we’re out of luck on the Less Seany Boy Please front.
Tonight’s 15 to Remember game was one of the few I actually remember. The games all tend to sort of run together in my head. I remember bits and pieces from the Buffalo game where Patty’s goal was called of, but other than that, it’s all a string of Devils hockey. Except for this game. I suspect it won’t live up to my memory of it being a fantastic game, but I’m looking forward to watching it again, anyway. I seem to recall Zach “Itty Bitty Prince” Bearise is a superstar it in. And in the spirit of Rudy Kelly’s post about favorite players on BoC, I’m all about celebrating when the Itty Bitty Prince does a good job.
I’m feeling vengeful today.
Today? When it comes to the Rangers, vengence is a 365-day committment.
I just want it to be the ugliest dressing room in all of sports. I want them all to hate each other, and I want my ex-S,PW’s lauded leadership skills to be completely nullified by all of the assholes on the team. I want him to be miserable.
*Wipes away a tear*
Katebits, I’m so proud to see it — the hate! The bile! The bitterness! It’s a beautiful thing.
And I want all of those things you said, as well as palpable pain and suffering for all parties. Have I mentioned yet that I hate the Rangers?
I’m feeling vengeful today.
Good for you.
the hate! The bile! The bitterness!
I know! I swear in real life, I am such a Minnesotan. I want everyone to be nice, and I want everyone to get along. I should have some degree of tenderness towards my ex-S,PW, but no. I just want him rue the day he sold his soul. It would be such a grave injustice if the Rangers Frankenteam worked out next year.
It would be such a grave injustice if the Rangers Frankenteam worked out next year.
I swear to God, if it looks even remotely like they might win the Cup, I won’t watch. Of course, they’re obtaining an entire defensive corps away from that being much more than an idle threat…
I swear to God, if it looks even remotely like they might win the Cup, I won’t watch. Of course, they’re obtaining an entire defensive corps away from that being much more than an idle threat…
Do not tempt the Hockey Gods. They’re subtle, quick to anger, vengeful and above all they are cruel, word-twisting, sadistic beings. (but I love them really)
Mags, if the Hockey Gods end up trying to force me to not watch a Rangers-filled SCF this year, so be it. It won’t be any different than the Calgary/Tampa SCF I didn’t watch in 2004. (To be perfectly honest, the main reason I would hate a Rangers championship is that they own the Devils broadcast rights, so I’d have to spend the entire following season watching “Your Champion NY Rangers!” commercials on FSN NY. I can stomach ignoring most teams hypothetically winning the Cup. But the Rangers? Impossible to avoid.)
Ok…I am back….two days in a row….amazing isn’t it.
Love 5 on 3 or 3 on 5 or 1 on 1 (wait….I think that just went into porn)……anyhow…….
Avery is a doucherocket……but he is a perfect fit for the Rangers…….
No way do the Rangers win anything next year.
They went from overpriced-free-agent-filled-shitty-team to what seemed to be the makings of a scrappy-upstart-hey-there’s-some-draft-picks-here-and-we’re-not-terrible-team.
But now, they have gone back down that familiar path of overpaying a bunch of random dudes who can’t gel as a team. I see it coming back to bite them in the ass. Real bad.
I swear to God, if it looks even remotely like they might win the Cup, I won’t watch.
The Rangers winning the Cup next year might actually break my heart. As in, I die of rage and sadness. When I first started reading IPB I didn’t understand all of your hating, but now……
Oil, I don’t know if it was me or you on this one, but the thread is now D-E-D dead.
I blame Sean Avery. What a crotchface.
But now, they have gone back down that familiar path of overpaying a bunch of random dudes who can’t gel as a team. I see it coming back to bite them in the ass. Real bad.
This is why I’m not actively worried about the Rangers winning anything any time soon. Yes, I passively consider the possibility, but for the most part, it just seems too outlandish!
When I first started reading IPB I didn’t understand all of your hating, but now……
I’m so glad to hear this! Our mission statement when we first started IPB was “To enhance the lives of others by sharing our soul-deep, infectious hate.”
Just you wait, Katebits! By the end of the season, after seeing the Leafs and the Senators 8 times each, you’re going to have so much hate to toss around! You won’t even know where to begin!
Hee. Andrew it looks like my first live Sabres game will be against the Leafs, so I am in a good position to get my hate festering something fierce.
By the end of the season, after seeing the Leafs and the Senators 8 times each, you’re going to have so much hate to toss around!
Not to mention the Flyers!
Although it must be acknowledged that Philadelphia sports fans, as a group, make this particularly easy.
“Hee. Andrew it looks like my first live Sabres game will be against the Leafs”
You are going to be so angry! you’ll be spitting at Leafs fans before you know it!
I’m so excited to have been witness to the transformation of Katebits: the wide-eyed fresh faced new hockey fan into Kate “hate” bits: angry, rage filled hockey fan.
Did the Rangers accept already?
you’re going to have so much hate to toss around! You won’t even know where to begin!
See, this is my problem. I have so much hate in my heart not everyone fits. I hate the Flyers, the Rangers, the Avalanche, sometimes the Leafs. I hate so many individual players. I actually found I didn’t have enough space in my heart for Pronger after Avery came to the Rangers. Sorta sad.
Did the Rangers accept already?
Apparently.
Sather. “He is a terrific competitor, who we expect to play a significant role in a successful season.”
Filthy hypocrite.
I hate the Flyers, the Rangers, the Avalanche, sometimes the Leafs. I hate so many individual players.
Don’t forget to hate new rules, new uniforms, the league front office, and the next lockout, too! These are important!
See, this is my problem. I have so much hate in my heart not everyone fits.
I feel like I have degrees of hate. For example: I hate the Rangers and the Senators, but not the way I hate the Leafs and the Flyers. I hate Avery, but most of the time I forget he exists, and have more focused hate for Tucker and Neil.
I’m with you Meg. It’s important to find comfortable levels of hate. You just can’t expend the kind of energy reserved for Neil on someone like Avery. It’s all about pacing yourself!
I feel like I have degrees of hate.
You’re right.
As for the things Earl mentioned, they get a different sort of hate. Not the “I hope we beat the pants off you” sort of hate but the “Please choke in your sleep” hate.
You just can’t expend the kind of energy reserved for Neil on someone like Avery.
See, Avery and Neil with me is a very “tomato/tomahto” situation. I’m not entirely convinced they’re not the same person.
See, Avery and Neil with me is a very “tomato/tomahto” situation. I’m not entirely convinced they’re not the same person.
The issue for me, here at least, is that I think Neil and Tucker are dirty players who hurt their opponents and then pretend they’ve done nothing wrong. Avery’s an obnoxious douche, but he doesn’t tend to injury his opponents.
oh man we don’t even play the rangers that often but I absolutely loathe them. I’ve hated them ever since 94. They took our Stanley Cup. And Mark Messier can go die in a hole. First he yoinked our cup and then he ran our team into the ground in that awful keenan/messier experiment. I fully support the IPB Ranger hate.
Wow…that was a bit of a rage. I’m a nice sweet person really :)
“I’m not entirely convinced they’re not the same person”
Haha! Nice one Gambler. I guess if take Avery + not turtling or Neil + racial slurs, then they truly would be as one.
The Northeast Division is coming to the Pacific this year, I’m gonna try and get tickets to every game. This could be my only chance to throw a cup of piss at Neil for the next few years. I have to go for it!
I feel like I have degrees of hate.
Finding your own hierarchy of hate that is comfortable for your own lifestyle is a very important thing. I found, leading into the lockout, that I’d let my hate overtake how much I liked about hockey, and I wasn’t at all sad to see it go away for a year. I’ve learned since it came back how to pace myself, but I have to say, an Avery-driven success-story Rangers team last spring came very close to testing my limits. It’ll be interesting to see how things go when the Flyers are good again next season — will I struggle with dangerously-high hate levels, or will I use the absence of Bobby Clarke as an excuse to let up a bit on the Flyers just to keep the balance in order, what with the heavily weighted Rangers hate?
I find Neil loathsome in an entirely different way from Avery. He at least is someone to hate for what he does on the ice. Avery is someone I hate for just being.
When I grow up I want to the Schnookie. You said it better than I could have.
Sather. “He is a terrific competitor, who we expect to play a significant role in a successful season.”
Filthy hypocrite.
How could the Rangers PR person write that with a straight face?
huh? I swear I typed “I want to be Schnookie”. That came out different…
I found, leading into the lockout, that I’d let my hate overtake how much I liked about hockey, and I wasn’t at all sad to see it go away for a year.
This can’t be true; it just can’t be.
I guess if take Avery + not turtling or Neil + racial slurs, then they truly would be as one.
I feel like front teeth (or lack thereof) should factor into that equation somewhere. But it’s true!
I find Neil loathsome in an entirely different way from Avery. He at least is someone to hate for what he does on the ice. Avery is someone I hate for just being.
That’s true. Avery’s much worse off the ice. One of the first encounters I had with him was when he was running his mouth before the series with the Sabres. And he said that he had never played any of the Sabres before, he was going to invent things that they did to him to feed off of. He was making up scenarios to motivate himself to hit people! He’s clearly deranged.
huh? I swear I typed “I want to be Schnookie”. That came out different…
It’s okay, Mags. Lots of people want to the Schnookie. I’m used to it! :P
This can’t be true; it just can’t be.
Amazingly, it was. Hockey and I needed a break from each other. It was a trial separation, but we both realized we needed to be together more than we could be happy being apart, so we’ve patched things up well. Sometimes hockey tests me, like with the Avery thing, but it also gives me things like Sid, and I’m much better now at appreciating those gestures. It hasn’t been easy, but I think we’ve worked things out very well now.
You just can’t expend the kind of energy reserved for Neil on someone like Avery. It’s all about pacing yourself!
Yeah. I am glad you have appreciated witnessing my decent into loathing, Andrew, and I will take your advice to pace myself. The thing is, there is NO WAY I can hate the Leafs like I hate the Rangers. Something will have to bend. Most likely, as soon as the Rangers start sucking next year my hate will dissipate and I can focus my hatred on the Leafs, where it belongs.
Most of the time, my Ranger hate is sort of fun and amusing, but every once in awhile it takes a turn for the “genuine soul-sucking”-type hate, and that’s when I start to worry that my hockey fandom is unhealthy. I mean, it’s one thing to have passionate sports rivalries, and it’s quite another to cultivate actual rage. The Rangers certainly don’t care if I hate the Rangers. I’m only hurting myself with that one.
I’m going to keep a watchful eye on this hating business. It is in direct opposition to all of my Minnesotan tendencies.
Hockey and I needed a break from each other. It was a trial separation, but we both realized we needed to be together more than we could be happy being apart, so we’ve patched things up well.
Schnookie, this amazes me. You are basically ESPN without the viewership and revenue.
I think Neil and Tucker are dirty players who hurt their opponents and then pretend they’ve done nothing wrong.
Awww, I feel the need to defend Neil now. Really, everything about him because of the Drury hit and he didn’t do himself any favours by coming out and saying that he hit to hurt people because in reality, he’s a borderline player maybe but the things he does are rarely that dirty.
I will now go to my corner and await the tomatoes and being shouted down now :P
Um, I really should review before I hit ‘enter’ I meant “everything about him was magnified”
You are basically ESPN without the viewership and revenue.
And without the John Buccigross. (Speaking of things I hate in a soul-sucking way…)
Boy, Schnookie, between the lockout = good, and the Bucci = bad, I’m scratching my head a lot today.
And Sherry, don’t confuse Neil being valuable and Neil being likeable to opposition fans. He’ll never be both.
I will now go to my corner and await the tomatoes and being shouted down now :P
I have to admit that my hatred stems not only from the hit on Drury, but also from his comments in the media post-hit. Also from a Gaustad interview in which he talked about the reasons Neil’s scuzziness (although he didn’t use that word).
Completely randomly: is it entirely pathetic that I just spent 5 minutes rewinding my DVR just so I could find out what brand of goalie gear the goalie is wearing in the new Oasics commercial?
And without the John Buccigross. (Speaking of things I hate in a soul-sucking way…)
I have to say he is a lot better than Scott Burnside.
Sherry, I think my dislike of Neil stems entirely from the bragging that he hits to injure people. I mean, it’s one thing to play without a lot of respect for your opponent’s physical well being, and it’s another thing entirely to crow that you’re trying to end guys’ careers. (Of course, I’m someone who hates, hates, hates guys like that on principle. I mean, I feel a burning shame for having Cam Janssen on the Devils roster, so I’m probably not the world’s most reasonable judge of a Chris Neil…)
“but every once in awhile it takes a turn for the “genuine soul-sucking”-type hate, and that’s when I start to worry that my hockey fandom is unhealthy.”
Nah, Katebits. That just means that your hockey fandom is REAL. You’re progressing into a die-hard much faster than I ever did!
“I will now go to my corner and await the tomatoes and being shouted down now :P”
It’s all good Sherry, you got defend your team’s players. Sometimes that even means Chris Neil. Hell I defended Scott Parker to the death when he was a Shark. You just gotta do what you gotta do!
And Sherry, don’t confuse Neil being valuable and Neil being likeable to opposition fans. He’ll never be both.
I didn’t mention anything about his value, though. Because that I think is also greatly up for debate among a lot of Senators fans even. I don’t expect people to like him either, but he does get unfairly painted with the ‘dirty, filthy player’ brush even though he has less serious offenses on his rap sheet than say, Colby Armstrong.
you got defend your team’s players. Sometimes that even means Chris Neil. Hell I defended Scott Parker to the death when he was a Shark. You just gotta do what you gotta do!
I just can’t do it. There is no defending Cam. He has to earn it first, which means scoring more than one goal every two years.
Nah, Katebits. That just means that your hockey fandom is REAL. You’re progressing into a die-hard much faster than I ever did!
It’s true! Soul-sucking hate is such an important part of serious hockey fandom. And what I learned during the lockout is that without hockey to steer my hate toward, I end up hating things in real life. And that gets ugly. (And it makes me politically activist. Hm. Maybe hockey was sent to me by my political enemies [of which there are many, I'm sure] to keep me docile?)
Genna and Earl, I’m not sure what to make of this apparent fondness for Bucci on your parts. I mean, he’s a man who called Michelangelo “the Thom Felicia of the Renaissance”. There is only so much self-congratulatory vapidity I can handle from someone who draws a paycheck for having opinions! (I know, I know — that’s what makes a horse race. If you like Bucci, you like Bucci. And I respect that. But just know that he makes my soul burn with unhappiness.)
There is only so much self-congratulatory vapidity I can handle from someone who draws a paycheck for having opinions!
It’s the self-congratulatory, look-at-what-good-taste-I-have, music references that do me in.
I only like him because he is one of the few ESPN writers that will acknowledge the Devils in a good way. Other than that he’s poo, but Burnside is even more poo than him and that’s what I was saying in the previous comment.
I dunno–Bucci clearly loves his hockey–there’s not many sportswriters in general, let alone at ESPN, that I can say that for.
Sure a lot of it is nonsense, but I gotta support that. BoC isn’t exactly “Mr. Serious” either.
look-at-what-good-taste-I-have, music references that do me in.
I do apprecitae the music references because admittedly he does indeed have excellent taste in music, but let’s not beat that to the ground.
Although I don’t really know what I’m talking about since I only read ESPN once in awhile.
It’s the self-congratulatory, look-at-what-good-taste-I-have, music references that do me in.
Oh god, those too! (I wasn’t going to say anything because I’m pretty self-congratulatory about my music tastes [which happen to be WAY COOKER than Bucci's, by the way! :P], but since you bring it up, I’ll agree.) I don’t understand how he gets away with writing “editorial columns” that consist of him printing a letter from a fan that asks a serious hockey question, then responding by just printing the lyrics for entire Pearl Jam songs. I suspect it’s just ESPN’s clever way to continue marginalizing hockey.
I dunno–Bucci clearly loves his hockey–there’s not many sportswriters in general, let alone at ESPN, that I can say that for.
There is that. And when he sticks to hockey, as opposed to the references and the naming of children, I enjoy his writing. It’s just that he doesn’t stick to the hockey as much as I’d like.
I do apprecitae the music references because admittedly he does indeed have excellent taste in music, but let’s not beat that to the ground.
Yeah, I’d enjoy a well-timed reference once every few columns. But when it’s 5 times per column, it becomes too much of a look-at-me thing.
Yeah, I’d enjoy a well-timed reference once every few columns. But when it’s 5 times per column, it becomes too much of a look-at-me thing.
It often seems to me that his liking hockey is also a “look at me” thing. Especially the way he seems to spend a lot more of his time talking about all his wacky escapades with Shjon Podein (by the way, does anyone know how he ended up with such an unusual name? Or maybe whether Volchenkov ever played goalie? Or whether Drury every played Little League?), Keith Jones and Ray Ferraro than he does talking about actual hockey.
Maybe we’re just answering different questions, then. I’m not a huge Bucci reader, but I do appreciate that he’s out there generating and answering e-mails from hockey fans at a site that is notorious for not caring (seriously, if there were no Bucci, would ESPN answer a single piece of hockey mail?). He may not be your cup of tea for whatever reason, but judging from the mail he gets, he’s doing something worthwhile–the league is better off with a Bucci than without.
Or whether Drury every played Little League?
His crush on Drury is positively Pierre-esque.
“he gets away with writing “editorial columns” that consist of him printing a letter from a fan that asks a serious hockey question, then responding by just printing the lyrics for entire Pearl Jam songs.”
Oh man! Seriously! and also, am I supposed to be impressed when drops Dylan or Beatles lyrics? C’mon! If he wants to impress me with his music knowledge he needs to actually reference an obscure band.
He may not be your cup of tea for whatever reason, but judging from the mail he gets, he’s doing something worthwhile–the league is better off with a Bucci than without.
That’s certainly fair!
See, Avery and Neil with me is a very “tomato/tomahto” situation. I’m not entirely convinced they’re not the same person.
On the ice, Avery bugs me, but in a mild, “Someone get that bug out of face,” kind of way. Despite his SHOCK at Slats statements about him, I think he knows what kind of player he is and what kind of role he has to play and he’s fine with that. Sometimes I listen to Chris Neil and it sounds like he’s genuinely under the impression that he’s a skill player which is totally laughable. He has no self-awareness.
His crush on Drury is positively Pierre-esque.
I would say 95% of the reason I’ve hated Drury for many years was Bucci’s crush on him. Hate… That… So… Much…
I like Bucci but I hate – HATE – his annual “Let me sum up my opinion of how every team’s season is going to go with a few passages from some songs” column. Ugh.
I like Bucci but I hate – HATE – his annual “Let me sum up my opinion of how every team’s season is going to go with a few passages from some songs” column. Ugh.
Aw, man! But I have it on good authority that he was dedicating this year’s column to you, Heather — the Greatest Sabres Blogger Alive! :P
He was also planning to quote a lot from this really obscure band that only he has ever heard of. They’re from Ireland, and he’s super-duper cool for knowing of them: U2.
I hate Bucci because of all the things that have already been mentioned (especially the Michelangelo thing) but also because his vapidity throws into sharp relief how pathetic ESPN’s hockey coverage is now compared to the golden age of NHL2Night with Bill Pidto. I want hockey coverage that is about hockey, not hockey coverage that is about a personality.
They’re from Ireland, and he’s super-duper cool for knowing of them: U2.
Gah, I actually really hate U2…super-duperly. Never liked them at all.
I had never heard of Thom Felicia. I went and looked him up. Man, Bucci can spew some goofy shit sometimes.
Gah, I actually really hate U2…super-duperly. Never liked them at all.
Sherry, for the sake of our friendship, I’m pretending this never happened. Defending Chris Neil and Ray Emery is one thing. This? This is serious.
Though on second thought atleast you’re not throwing U2 out there as your favorite band because you clearly can’t think of anyone else. I hate that.
I meant to say…I hate you too. Yes…um…I was fighting…with somebody…over the internet…wrong window?
Hi Heather! I feel like I haven’t “seen” you in ages.
Gah, I actually really hate U2…super-duperly. Never liked them at all.
Close your eyes for a second here Heather…
Me too, Sherry. And I really hate Bono.
Heather, again…you might want to turn away. U2 haters….if you haven’t already read this, it’s pretty funny:
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=11worst
Me too, Sherry. And I really hate Bono.
Oh good, there’s somebody else!
Have you seen The Simpson’s Movie? I wish Bono was in it bceause Colin said his dad wasn’t Bono…it would have been awesome if he was at least voiced by Bono?
Okay quitting time for me, be back in a bit!
Kate! I was going to email you for work today because I was suddenly realizing how long it’s seemed since we “talked” but my damn kids wouldn’t cooperate. Aren’t you almost done with this camp?!
And Bono hate, I can understand. I think he’s fascinating, but I can understand why he bugs some people. But the music? No, I can’t fathom not liking it, atleast most of it.
I like U2, Heather! And I love Bono! Of course, I haven’t listened to them in a long time (I convinced myself whatever album it was that had “Elevation” on it was bad luck to the Devils [long story] and haven’t listened to them since, really) and I haven’t had much exposure to Bono in a while (I live under a rock. A rock called IPB). But I still consider them a fantastic band, and will go on record saying Edge is one of the finest musicians of his time.
And the Thom Felicia thing wasn’t just goofy. It proved, in my eyes, the Bucci is stupid. Flat out stupid. I hope the ghost of Michelangelo haunts him for his stupidity.
The IPB spite is kind of off the charts today.
“And the Thom Felicia thing wasn’t just goofy.”
Oh, don’t you worry Pookie. I didn’t mean goofy as in ‘funny’ or ‘quirky’. I meant it as in ‘P.C. version of retarded.’
And the Thom Felicia thing wasn’t just goofy. It proved, in my eyes, the Bucci is stupid. Flat out stupid. I hope the ghost of Michelangelo haunts him for his stupidity.
Now that I’ve looked up who Thom Felicia is, I remember that I really like his decorating skillz. But, while it’s nice to see that Bucci is down with the gays, that comment is just mindblowingly dumb.
But I still consider them a fantastic band, and will go on record saying Edge is one of the finest musicians of his time.
Well, atleast someone around here has some sense! Can we go back to hating the Rangers? I was much more comfortable with that.
“Can we go back to hating the Rangers? I was much more comfortable with that.”
Funny how sports team hatred is totally expected, but when music/band hatred comes out, it really gets folks riled up!
The Rangers are the Giotto of hockey.
ZING!
Heather, I’m done this weekend, but I might do some supplemental travel afterwards. I dunno yet. I am really Pommerdoodling for some hockey. WHEN IS IT COMING BACK???? When can we start getting excited about pre-season practices? When can we forget about the stupid captains once and for all, and focus entirely on the real team? When oh WHEN is my obsession with hockey going to correspond with actual hockey occurrences? I’m losing it here!
I hate to bring down the hate quotient here, because I’ve still got plenty to share (although not for U2 — they were like close friends for me when I was in high school), but I’ve got to run to the store to buy ingredients for food I will be able to cook in my actual oven. It’s decadent, I tells ya! I’ll be back shortly, though, so don’t let the hating dissipate too much!
I also have to leave because i have been sitting on my butt in a coffee shop for hours. My butt is tired. I have to get out of here!
(Oh, and Pookie — the Giotto of hockey? OUCH! [Although I wouldn't want to give them credit for doing the hockey equivalent of inventing single vanishing point perspective...])
Y’all go on hating. I’m watching a Jared Leto movie. Oh the eyes.
Hm, good point about the perspective angle. OK, how about this? The Rangers are the Suerat of hockey. They invented lace-up sweaters, which are about as useless and kitchy as pointilism. That’s right! I said it!
Pookie –
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Hmm, Parise re-signed? multi-year?
I hate that guy because he’s not NHL2Night!
Hmm, Parise re-signed? multi-year?
WOOOO-HOOOOOO!!!
I can’t believe he signed so early! I was really expecting it to be a on-the-eve-of-training-camp deal. Woo-hoo!
They invented lace-up sweaters, which are about as useless and kitchy as pointilism. That’s right! I said it!
Nooooooo, I have no argument against that. They’re useless, but they’re pretty!
[/futility]
They invented lace-up sweaters, which are about as useless and kitchy as pointilism.
With the Reebokian changes coming, I think we’ll look back longingly at the days where the biggest gripe in sweater design was laces.
“I think we’ll look back longingly at the days where the biggest gripe in sweater design was laces.”
After enduring the buffaslug, I now have to come to terms with my new ninjashark. I think Earl’s right.
I’m living in denail about those stupid new sweaters. I’m going to be in for a very rude awakening come October, aren’t I?
I’m going to be in for a very rude awakening come October, aren’t I?
Best to just accept it now, Pookie.
Some of them don’t look bad, but a lot of the new uniforms have some really pointless piping and stripes that just make it look messy.
I’m going to be in for a very rude awakening come October, aren’t I?
Frankly, I’m so disillusioned with “hockey the business” that I would guess that sweater re-designs start happening every four or five years from here on out. It’s disgusting, but franchises really like the notion of taking money from people, and so far this has proven to be an effective (though tradition-killing) way of doing that.
but, but…the hott new RBK sweaters have been scientifically proven to be 37% more better, and way cooler!
but, but…the hott new RBK sweaters have been scientifically proven to be 37% more better, and way cooler!
But they’ve also eliminated the third jersey, which was a money maker for some teams.
“But they’ve also eliminated the third jersey, which was a money maker for some teams.”
I was trying to be as sarcastic as possible, Amy. I think the new uni’s are a real, real bad idea.
and on the third jersey subject, they should keep ‘em. I know smoe teams have lame ones (looking at you Nashville), but some of them are really good. I love the old-school Buffalo 3rd jersey, and I really love the all black Sharks 3rd jersey. It’s my favorite one!
I do like some of the new jersey designs. Can’t think of one off the top of my head, but I’m sure there has to be one. Right?
Today is goooooooood.
But they’ve also eliminated the third jersey, which was a money maker for some teams.
But as a sales strategy, making a third jersey doesn’t make old jerseys obsolete. Changing a logo does. They’ll find a lot more new revenue by screwing everyone out of their old purchases–it’s petty, but based on what I know about owners, it’s likely.
“Today is goooooooood.”
Mags…..did you get into the hashcake again?
Just kidding!
Mags…..did you get into the hashcake again?
Firstly: it’s called spacecake (What are you looking at me weird for? I live in Holland, it’d be weird if I DIDN’T know)
Secondly: no, Parise + My favourite Scrubs episode + Jared Leto movie + donuts > spacecake
“My favourite Scrubs episode + Jared Leto movie”
At the same time? Whilst chatting on the interweb and munching donuts? You need to unplug, girl! You’re going to overload!
But they’ve also eliminated the third jersey, which was a money maker for some teams.
Speaking of denial, I’m refusing to believe I’m going to have to sit through 82 games of my boys in slugs next year. I’ll admit the new unis have grown on me (and I actually prefer them to the old black-and-red, goat-head affairs), but I’m going to really, really miss the throwbacks.
I want to know what this Bearise deal is!
Out of curiosity, Mags, which is your favorite Scrubs episode?
4-year $12.5 million according to TSN!
http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/news_story/?ID=215253&hubname=
Mmmmm, Scrubs.
I want to know what this Bearise deal is!
I read somewhere 4 years, $12.5 million. Considering the RFA backdrop, a steal.
Actually, Parise probably is pouting to his agent right now. “I should have hired Kevin Lowe to negotiate my new deal.”
Considering the RFA backdrop, a steal.
Yeah, that’s a very nice deal for the Devils. It figures.
This can’t be true — Zach re-signed for 4 years, $12.5 million??? He’s a True Devil after all!
Parise probably is pouting to his agent right now. “I should have hired Kevin Lowe to negotiate my new deal.”
Heh. Zach’s probably logging on to check up the latest free agency news and is like, “Wait — I did what??? BOXWORTHY!!”
Out of curiosity, Mags, which is your favorite Scrubs episode?
I have no idea what it’s called. I think it’s second or third season, the day before Carla and Turk get married. I love Cox not being allowed to fight anymore.
Considering the RFA backdrop, a steal.
Wow, no kidding! I feel the familiar Buffalonian urge to scream “No fair!” but I know it is, in fact, totally fair. Now I know why Devils fans are so calm, with Lou on their side.
(Oh, and I guess I could have just looked it up myself, instead of demanding the info be brought to me. Sorry, guys!)
I have no idea what it’s called. I think it’s second or third season, the day before Carla and Turk get married. I love Cox not being allowed to fight anymore.
I love that one! Cox is the best.
(Oh, and I guess I could have just looked it up myself, instead of demanding the info be brought to me. Sorry, guys!)
Thanks for being so demanding, Gambler — you saved me the trouble of asking someone to bring the news to me!
I feel the familiar Buffalonian urge to scream “No fair!” but I know it is, in fact, totally fair. Now I know why Devils fans are so calm, with Lou on their side.
The flip side of this is that you guys get a wildly entertaining, upbeat run-and-gun team. We get 18 guys, night in and night out, killing hockey. (Of course, I’ll take the killing hockey. And the three Cups. And the guys signing for less than market value.)
This can’t be true — Zach re-signed for 4 years, $12.5 million??? He’s a True Devil after all!
Yes! Finally some good news today.
And in other good news (at least for me anyway)…
This all more than makes up for the crappy work day/week I am having.
What fantastic news! I don’t even know what to say other than YIPEE!!!!!!!!!!
Mags, you reminded me of another epsiode:
Elliot: “What’s wrong, you don’t like Cox?”
Jordan: “No, no…I love Cox.”
The Todd (passing by): “Best conversation ever.”
Kills me every time.
Hot damn. Zach. 3 a year, even though everyone else is getting tonnes more. I may love you after all.
(Oh, and I guess I could have just looked it up myself, instead of demanding the info be brought to me. Sorry, guys!)
Oh, I was about to give you a big rant about being lazy on the internet, but (yawn)…you know.
“Zach. 3 a year, even though everyone else is getting tonnes more.”
He’s still making more than Cheechoo. I still can’t believe the deal he took.
That is good news for you, MrFrisby! It’s like today’s the opposite of UFA Day for a lot of us here! WHEEE!!!
Elliot: “What’s wrong, you don’t like Cox?”
Jordan: “No, no…I love Cox.”
The Todd (passing by): “Best conversation ever.”
Hehehehehehe. The singoff episode is pretty good too.
He’s still making more than Cheechoo. I still can’t believe the deal he took.
Awww… Cheechoo’s a True Shark! (Or maybe he’s like Patrik Elias and totally panicked at the thought of free agency and just signed the first thing anyone sent his way…)
Kills me every time.
Hahaha! The Todd is amazing! Speaking of killing me every time: “Boobies… Charts.”
You know what? I have yet to see the musical episode! It’s very upsetting that I don’t get Scrubs here [well, I'm too cheap to pay for NBC]
Dr. Kelso: She likes to joke that I choked the last breath of life out of her long ago, and now she’s just a shell of a woman. I think that’s so cute… I called her Shelley. You know, when I call her that, sometimes she laughs so hard she cries.
“Awww… Cheechoo’s a True Shark!”
He IS! I love that kid.
“The Todd is amazing!”
I’d like to double her entendre!
I love Cheechoo too and I was so happy for him during his Richard year. Plus? Best name ever.
J.D.: Dr. Kelso. The doc here has been telling me that you have some great stories. I wouldn’t mind hearing one sometime.
Dr. Kelso: Oh what the hell. Back in ’68 I don’t like you. The end.
“I love Cheechoo too and I was so happy for him during his Richard year.”
We were lucky enough to be at the game against Anaheim when he got the hat-trick for goals 54, 55, and 56…basically locking up the Richard. Jumbo Joe had 3 points that night too, passing Jagr for the Ross. That was probably the loudest crowd I have even been a part of, totally electrifying.
“Dr. Kelso: Oh what the hell. Back in ‘68 I don’t like you. The end”
Oh my god, hilarious! Kelso is so awesome.
Plus? Best name ever.
Hmm, former Duck prospect Alexei Smirnov might protest that. Or another favorite, Mariusz Czerkawski.
Holy. Flirking. Schnitt. Zach signed for what?!? I am so delighted! I was so sure when I went out of a limb, and risking all self-respect, decided that I was ready to accept Bearise as my new, offical favorite player (but no S,PW; that’s Paulie) that he was going to sign some huge 1-year deal and then bolt at earliest possibility. I mean, he can still bolt someday, obviously, but this contract suggests that maybe there is a True Devil lurking in that revenge-fueled heart of his!
IPB Manor has been very much enjoying drawing parallels between the prince in Katamari and Bearise. I think the fact that we got the itty-bitty prince a championship belt last night was a sign of what was to come!
Hmm, former Duck prospect Alexei Smirnov might protest that. Or another favorite, Mariusz Czerkawski.
I like names I can pronounce :P
Time to cook dinner, talk to you guys later!
Yeah, I’d like Cheechoo more if it wasn’t for the fact that when you talk about his hat trick against Anaheim, you still have to specify further. Which hat trick against Anaheim, exactly?
Grrr.
I like names I can pronounce :P
Jerk-Off-Ski.
Anyone watching the Tigers? (Earl, I’m not talking to you, sorry dude) Patty around? Some Raider just went for Pudge’s foot. I need to spazz about this! (oh, and they’re losing)
Alexei Smirnov
Lucky bastard.
And Sherry, that’s like Smirnoff with a v :P
“Which hat trick against Anaheim, exactly?”
He does have it in for the Ducks doesn’t he? Even when you guys kill us, Cheechoo’s out there roasting ducks (bad pun totally intended), no matter what.
I like Smirnoff!
Jerk-Off-Ski.
Tee-hee. Cause I’m 12.
Okay, seriously time to cook dinner now.
Not Raiders. Athletics. Damn. Wish I’d learn to pay attention to what I type.
He does have it in for the Ducks doesn’t he?
Yeah, I don’t know if you ever saw this post I did, but he’s got a real habit of killing the other BoC teams.
From the post: “Since the lockout, roughly one-third of Cheechoo’s goals and more than one-half of his multi-goal games have come against the BoC teams.”
Five hat-tricks against BoC teams in the last two seasons. Not too shabby.
Earl, the icing on that post is the completely random comment that was left. Looks like you need to employ the services of Senor Spam.
That is a fantastic comment on that post! Oh, and Earl, I neglected to mention that I loved your Penner poem. As usual, it was just a thing of beauty! (I imagine you writing those poems on foolscap with a poncy feather quill while wearing a flowing, puffy-sleeved green Shakespearean poet shirt.)
Yeah, I have to be my own Senor Spam, but I must have missed that one, or else was really sympathetic to the pleas of a dying root beer industry.
And actually, yeah I liked the Penner poem too, but I actually think it was my worst (the Pahlsson and Beauchemin talked a bit more about the player, at least). But at that point, I hadn’t posted in a while and was just itching to get something posted, but glad it worked out for everyone.
But at that point, I hadn’t posted in a while and was just itching to get something posted
When I’m feeling like that I drink a bit too much wine and write six sentences about shorthanded goals and 5-on-3 PKs. Then I split them into TWO posts. Someday when IPB is a subscription blog, people are going to be able to get their money back on days like that.
Well, they really are two different topics, but yeah, you can refund me anytime you get a case of the “guilty Sherrys”.
Someday when IPB is a subscription blog, people are going to be able to get their money back on days like that.
You sorta are subscription. I subscribe via bloglines. It’s freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. (and the only possible way I don’t lose track of all the blogs I try to read)
You’ll get nothing as pricey as a bottle of IPBooze out of me, no matter how guilty I feel about cheaping out on the two posts (and yes, they definitely are two distinct topics, but it’s like I was being charged by the word or something when I wrote those. I felt like Hemingway and the famous “Up stick asswards” telegraph). Instead I’ll send you something nice like an IPB-logoed badge holder or a mini-blimp.
I thought the posts were great. Short and sweet! Except the 5-on-3 post combined with the shorthanded goals post brought back painful memories of Mike Commodore. Mike F’ing Commodore!!!! Damn youse!!
I couldn’t decide if I wanted to mention Mikey C’s 5-on-3 shortie. That was pretty damn funny. My favorite thing about it was that Mikey C skates like he’s shouting, “Where are the breaks on this thing???” I love him unconditionally, but seriously — Mikey C? Her?
And thanks for liking the short and sweet posts. Suffice to say, today’s post, which is being composed in google docs as we speak, is neither short nor especially sweet. Rambling and self-indulgent is a much more apt description. Can’t wait to read it now, can you?
“Rambling and self-indulgent is a much more apt description. Can’t wait to read it now, can you?”
In case you hadn’t noticed, rambling and self-indulgent is how I roll. I’m sure I’ll love it.
And crap! I didn’t all too much like Mike Commodore before that goal, now? grrr!
I think rambling and self-indulgent is how we all roll around here! :P
And what’s not to like about Mike Commodore? All he wants to do is drink A LOT of beer, and if Doc Emrick is to be believed, he scored 150 points higher on his SAT than I did!
“And what’s not to like about Mike Commodore?”
Eastern Conference Finals. All hurricanes we’re on my shit list!
Y’know, come to think of it, I don’t know if there’s anyone on the ‘Canes that I actually like. Maybe Ray Whitney, only ’cause he was an O.G. Shark.
Were on my list. Not we’re. Clearly.
And I wonder, is he that smart?
Schnookie, I think Mike Commodore might need to be our Reason We Love Hockey tomorrow night…
I literally have no opinion on Mike Commodore–kinda weird, since he was briefly Duck property, though I don’t think he played any games. Still, he was part of the Rob Niedermayer trade, which turned fruitful a few years later when it turned out that Rob was Scott’s brother.
But as for the guy, I like his playoff hair/beard, and don’t have much of an opinion on anything else about the guy.
Eastern Conference Finals. All hurricanes we’re on my shit list!
Okay, I can see that. (Although it wasn’t Mikey C’s fault that no one else wanted him!) (Just kidding.)
And I wonder, is he that smart?
One, you’re assuming Schnookie scored something decent enough on her SAT that 150 points higher would be considered smart. That, uh, isn’t true of me.
Two, he’s always struck me as being smarter than the average bear, at least. I mean, he’s always very personable, very well-spoken, and has made a pretty good career out of very little talent. That takes some brains.
“I think Mike Commodore might need to be our Reason We Love Hockey tomorrow night…”
I figured it was coming eventually, Pookie. Might as well get it out of the way early on.
I literally have no opinion on Mike Commodore–kinda weird, since he was briefly Duck property, though I don’t think he played any games.
Yeah, he didn’t play any games because Mike Babcock told him he should never have been drafted. Sigh. Poor overweight, out-of-shape, questionable-work-ethic Mikey C and his ridonkulous SAT scores. So misunderstood.
“One, you’re assuming Schnookie scored something decent enough on her SAT that 150 points higher would be considered smart. That, uh, isn’t true of me.”
Am I incorrect in assuming you gals are a couple of test taking wiz-kids?
Am I incorrect in assuming you gals are a couple of test taking wiz-kids?
I am a moderately capable test-taking wiz kid. Obviously I’m not so good that there wasn’t at least 150 points of breathing room between my score and a 1600. Pookie is an atrocious test-taker. But she’s a hell of a lot smarter than I am, so that says a lot about the validity of standardized testing, I guess. (All of that said, Mikey C’s alleged SAT score falls into the wiz-kid category. Which is why I sometimes think we dreamt it.) (Not that I dream very often about Mike Commodore’s college applications or any part thereof.)
Yeah, he didn’t play any games because Mike Babcock told him he should never have been drafted.
Plus Babcock for whatever reason seems to avoid Canadian-born defensemen. He played a six in the cup run of Carney (U.S.), Havelid (Swe.), Ozolinsh (Lat.), Salei (Bel.), Vishnevski (Rus.), and Sauer (U.S.).
I thought that was unique, but then I thought about Babcock’s Detroit blueline also: Lidstrom (Swe.), Schneider (U.S.), Chelios (U.S.), Lilja (Swe.), Kronwall (Swe.), Markov (Rus.).
Maybe Babcock’s just weird like that.
Maybe Babcock’s just weird like that.
Mike Babcock seems weird like a lot of ways. But yeah, I guess Canada doesn’t breed its defensemen greasy enough for him.
“Pookie is an atrocious test-taker. But she’s a hell of a lot smarter than I am.”
Sounds like my sister and I. She can’t take a test to save her life, but she’s a sharp cookie.
“Maybe Babcock’s just weird like that.”
Babcock is totally weird. and a jerk.
“Pookie is an atrocious test-taker. But she’s a hell of a lot smarter than I am.”
Sounds like my sister and I. She can’t take a test to save her life, but she’s a sharp cookie.
Yeah, and Flutter and I. But I’m willing to bet anything she doesn’t score as well as she could because that’s not cool.
Sounds like my sister and I. She can’t take a test to save her life, but she’s a sharp cookie.
Our other sister is both a sharper cookie than both of us combined and is a great test-taker. And Mikey C scored higher than her on the SAT. Just saying.
Mike Babcock is one of those rare NHL coaches (and seriously, even the hardest hard-asses don’t make me think this very often) who makes me glad I don’t have to work for him. He just seems like he’d be the world’s least pleasant boss. Okay, second-least, after Mike Keenan. I say this based on exactly zero knowledge about him, of course. He just gives me the heebie-jeebies.
I scored so low on my SAT that the college guidence counsilor said I had to retake it. Then I told her I was applying to technical theater programs and she said, “Oh, well, then, forget it.” There was an implied, “You test-taking weenie!” But whatever. I made up for my low SAT score with perfect 5s on the English and Art History APs. Which, of course, my college didn’t accept, so I still had to take Intro to Expository Writing and Intro to Art History.
“I say this based on exactly zero knowledge about him, of course.”
Well you obviously seen him behind the Red Wings bench screaming like a hyena…that’s proof enough for me that he’s an a-hole.
“I scored so low on my SAT that the college guidence counsilor said I had to retake it.”
That’s pretty funny Pookie. I actually did pretty well and my counselor made me re-take it anyway (for some scholarship)! Of course I was a little snot and told her I wasn’t gonna do it. Long story short, I caved and re-took it.
Long story short, I caved and re-took it.
andrew, you were such a rebel!
“andrew, you were such a rebel!”
She did pay for my exam fee! Does that count for anything?
I can see where the government employee in you was already showing, what with the making her pay those expenses for you!
What can I say, I guess she saw potential in me. Man, I sure proved her wrong! yeah! Wait…
She did pay for my exam fee! Does that count for anything?
There are exam fees? Crazy stuff.
What can I say, I guess she saw potential in me. Man, I sure proved her wrong! yeah!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Nicely done! Way to get the upper hand in that battle!
“There are exam fees? Crazy stuff.”
Yeah, for standardized tests. I think the SAT was, like $20 or something.
ETS (Educational Testing Services, or whatever it stands for) is one of the big employers in our town. I actually had been interviewing for a temp job with them when I stumbled onto a job with my current employer. I wonder if employees at ETS get, like, free testing as a perk? Like, “Well, the pay isn’t great, but I get three weeks vacation and can take the TOEFL whenever I want to!”
Yeah, for standardized tests. I think the SAT was, like $20 or something.
Seriously? Wow. I suddenly like the Dutch school system a little more. Sure, it’s messed up, a C+/B is the average grade and getting an A basically means you’re sleeping with the teacher, and they make kids way too responsible at an early age, at least I didn’t have to pay for my finals.
Yeah, for standardized tests. I think the SAT was, like $20 or something.
When I took the ACT I got a 32 (of 36), mostly because I hadn’t had math in like two years and forgot all the functions of my calculator. I almost retook it just to push up my score on that one section, and then I realized….I did not want to pay eighty dollars again. Seriously aren’t those things painful enough without costing money?
“at least I didn’t have to pay for my finals.”
No, these are tests that strictly measure aptitude. Like entrance exams. They’re not part of any curriculum.
Andrew, finals here are like that. There’re 3 levels, vmbo (get a job), havo (go to college), vwo (go to university and get a fancy degree) and your score determines what follow up education you’re eligible for.
Anywho, I’m off! Time to hit the commute back to the ‘burbs.
see you all tomorrow!
Bye andrew! Have a fun drive!
Bye Andrew! Drive safe!
Wait…did I miss it…what did Commodore get on his SAT?
Mikey C got a 1500 on his SAT, at least according to Doc Emrick. (Which means I got 150 less than that, which explains why I went to a state school instead of Amherst.)
I’ll point out, though, that I got an 800 on the analytical section of the GRE.
Well go you. I didn’t even take the GRE.
I did manage an 800 on the English section of the SAT, but my math “skills” put me a good bit below a 1500.
I, uh, didn’t get 800 on either other section of the GRE, though. I actually got exactly the same scores on them as I did five years earlier on my SAT. Which were the same scores I got on my Achievements. I figure I’m a 720 Math, 630 Verbal kind of gal. (Which makes no sense because I hate math and consider myself reasonably competent at this verbal shit.)
Gobbledygook. All of that. No sense at all.
Gobbledygook. All of that. No sense at all.
Huh? Double post. Very nice.
The SAT has a math and verbal section, each one with a perfect score of 800. I have no idea what a good test score is, because my combined 1350 was kind of frowned on at my high school, but my high school was one of these “we’re driven by our stats of what colleges we place our students in” types of schools, and my score wasn’t high enough to place me in the colleges they would have liked. 1500, though? That would have been plenty high.
Oh wait, correction: the SAT back when I took it was put together that way. They’ve overhauled it, and I have no idea what the new deal is like.
Hey folks. I know some IPB’ers here have ties to Minnesota. A bridge in Minneapolis over the Mississippi River has collapsed. It looks really bad, but there appears to be survivors. No word on how or why it collapsed.
They’ve overhauled it, and I have no idea what the new deal is like.
They’ve overhauled it so a 1250 means you’re a brilliant, wonderful person. A 1350 means you’re an idiot who’s destined to drop out a state school just like your grandmother believes.
Schnookie, thanks for the explanation. I think I prefer a percentage score though. Easier to remember.
Pookie’s right — that’s exactly how they overhauled the SAT.
I’m going to try and get some shut eye. See you tomorrow!
‘Night, Mags!
Man, that’s terrible about the bridge collapse. I hope everyone is alright.
Um, on a much lighter note, and speaking of testing, I’m serving as a proctor for a distance learner tonight. The test is 3 hours long. She just came out to beg for 5 minutes since there was a technical delay. I was like, “What are you talking about?! OH! Riiiiiight, that whole timed test thing. *waves hand* Eh, take your time. I’m busy. Don’t you realize Zach Parise just resigned for a [relative] pittance?!”
Gobbledygook. All of that. No sense at all.
Same here.
Despite my counselors demands (actually, probably because she was so demanding (yeah, I’m a rebel, or was)) I never took SATS. I was really good at math but I thought I was destined for an artistic type career, or the ministry. One year of bible college was enough to steer me away from that. So after a few years of odd jobs, I got a job as a labourer in sheet metal shop metal shop. Eventually my math skills got me a job in the office, as a draftsman. Which is really quite a good a fit for the artistic math type. My job title says engineer, but I’m really just a glorified draftsman (or draftsperson).
I got a job as a labourer in sheet metal shop metal shop.
Obviously, I was never that good at english and I’ve never taken a keyboarding class.
Obviously, I was never that good at english and I’ve never taken a keyboarding class.
And it shows! (Just kidding! :P)
Between your math skillz and Meg’s English skillz, I think you two could take over the world!
And now you know why I never pimp my own blog.
That’s terrible about the bridge collapse! It’s very weird, I watched a show on bridge collapses just last night. They talked to a couple of fishermen who were in the lake that a bridge on I-40 in Oklahoma fell into. They tried to get the attention of drivers, but they just kept driving off the edge at full speed. They couldn’t see the bridge was gone because it was on the other side of a rise. Very tragic.
I missed all the test talk. I took the ACTs. It’s been so long ago, I don’t remember exactly what I got. I always think I remember but it never sounds right. I think it was a 26, but I remember being happy with my score and that doesn’t sound too good. I do remember that my verbal was totally cook and my math, while not terrible, certainly brought down my average.
I took a pair of IQ tests once just to see if I could get into Mensa. I didn’t do too badly on those, but I think it’s because there’s no pressure. Well, no school pressure. Just competitive pressure, which is much more fun.
I did manage an 800 on the English section of the SAT, but my math “skills” put me a good bit below a 1500.
You are my opposite counterpart! I took the SAT twice, getting 800s in math every time. I think my verbal score went from a 580 to a 640, which wasn’t enough of an improvement so Princeton Review refunded my folks’ money.
Also, on a very unrelated note Patty, I did order some jack-and-waters at a bar tonight, and it was less shameful than I thought! The bartender didn’t bat an eye!
I did order some jack-and-waters at a bar tonight, and it was less shameful than I thought! The bartender didn’t bat an eye!
Was it because you were wearing your lucky green dress?
The bartender didn’t bat an eye!
He probably thought, “Geez, finally. An adult! that doesn’t need his drink to be candy-flavored!”
Is it growing on you? If you had plenty of Coke at home and a bottle of Jack Daniels, would you still drink it with water?
I took the SAT twice, getting 800s in math every time.
You were destined to be the statbitty type.
If you had plenty of Coke at home and a bottle of Jack Daniels, would you still drink it with water?
Well, I dunno–probably depends on the mood. I could easily see myself at least alternating, though.
You were destined to be the statbitty type.
High school math, at least, came very naturally. I have no idea why I wasn’t better at verbal, though. Maybe my brain doesn’t work right when it comes to analogies.
I have no idea why I wasn’t better at verbal, though. Maybe my brain doesn’t work right when it comes to analogies.
You know, that might explain my high verbal scores. Analogies are my forte! :P I never even thought of that before.
Actually, I think my forte is the inability to let a conversation end. I’m going to work on that.
Aw Patty — don’t ever change!
(I think I failed to excel at the verbal tests because of my reading comprehension. I know that must come as a shock to all of you, especially Meg and Mags.)
I think I failed to excel at the verbal tests because of my reading comprehension. I know that must come as a shock to all of you, especially Meg and Mags.
Shocked. SHOCKED I say!
Patty did you ever get into Mensa? I’m a Mensan, after properly freaking out the examinator with a perfect score on every IQ test they made me take (no, I’d never taken one before. I think I just have a brain for them). Just the look on her face made the whole stupid process worth it (I only did it to piss off a girl I knew…)
Mags, I did get in. I was a member for a while, but I never got up the nerve to go to the meetings. Too shy.
I only did it for fun, too. It was just something that I happened to see advertised and had always been curious.
I certainly didn’t get a perfect score. :D (I assume. I just got my IQ scores, so I guess I don’t know what I got on the tests.) I was right out of college so my test-taking muscles were still in shape. If I took it now, I might not do so well.