Reasons We Love Hockey Part 81

The 81st in our 118-part series.

The Devils Not Buying into the Crap the League Wants Them To

We’ve seen a steady stream of new sweater roll-outs in the past month, complete with splashy videos, press conferences and appearances by star players. Looking on NHL Tournament of Logos we thought, “Hey, wait, why aren’t the Devils on the list of upcoming unveilings?” Is this just more anti-Devils-ism? More tight-lippedness by Lou? Or did the Tournament of Logos just not put the whole list of events up yet? Turns out, the reason why is because there is no unveiling. Or rather, the “unveiling” is the first time the team takes the ice for the first pre-season game. As sports melds more and more with entertainment, we appreciate that as long as Lou is in charge, the Devils will do as little as possible to pay lip service to the League’s hair-brained schemes. Just the way we agree to go to our respective employers’ team-building exercises but never engage in them when we’re there, the Devils give in and accept switching to the dreaded Edge jersey but won’t go out of their way to be happy about it.

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Reasons We Love Hockey Part 80

The 80th in our 118-part series.

Patrik Elias

Devils fans have a very complex relationship with our team captain, one that outside fans might not always be able to fully comprehend. On the surface, it looks like we can’t stand the guy and think he’s a bad leader and isn’t playing up to potential. But beneath the surface, in our heart of hearts, we… can’t stand the guy and think he’s a bad leader and isn’t playing up to potential. No, no, just kidding! Sort of. We are so conflicted about #26 that we’ve been debating all summer long if he’s even a reason we love hockey at all. Of course we adore his loyalty to the team, his remarkably level-headed response to last year’s playoff exit, his history of putting up big numbers (not just in 2001, but also in the last half of 2006). But the fact remains he consistently leaves us groaning in our most exasperated tones, “Oh, Patty!” after every shift. For those not familiar with Patty’s signature play, it goes a little something like this:

Add one part wide open net to one part wide open Elias. Combine one perfect pass to Patty’s stick. Watch as puck sails high and wide. Finish with an exaggerated head/eye roll from Elias.

This is so emblematic that this Elias eye roll actually was the Devils clip in Versus’s nightly playoff intro. It’s so tired that even the ever-optimistic Chico has had enough of it. So what ultimately has us deciding in favor of Patty being a Reason We Love Hockey? Schnookie’s symbiotic relationship with him. The more she complains about him, the better he does. Someday we’ll do some scientific testing on this to prove it, but in the meantime we’ll just relish that a player is tapped in enough to Schnookie’s psyche that all she has to do to get him off the schnide is send an email to Stan Fischler that gets read on air asking, “Why isn’t Elias scoring more?”

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