The 112th in our 118-part series.
Doc Emrick
We know he’s something of a controversial figure among our less-enlightened readers, but there’s no denying that, for us, Doc Emrick simply makes hockey better. Sure, it helps that we’ve never known another regular play-by-play guy for the Devils, so hearing him do a call makes us feel more at home, but even so, the man is incomparable. He has a marvelous, welcoming voice that has none of the “well, aren’t my pipes so special” pomposity of some big-time sports broadcasters (*cough*JoeBuck*cough*), his vocabulary is colorful and creative, and his love of hockey (and knowledge of the game) just radiates off the television in waves. When you watch a game called by Doc, you know you’re getting narration from a guy who can’t think of anything he’d rather do than work a hockey game. Any hockey game. He speaks with fondness about all manner of minor-league and largely irrelevant games that he’s called over a staggeringly long career, yet still makes every game he’s calling in the present feel like it has the significance of a Stanley Cup Final. There are some broadcasters who confuse volume with excitement, or who get overly worked up over the smallest things, but Doc is always pitch-perfect in conveying the urgency (or lack thereof) at any point in a game. No one works the ebb and flow of hockey with the same honesty as Doc, who’s not afraid to pipe up about it when things are getting dull, but who is unparalleled in his ability to make the casual observer leap out of his seat when things are getting thrilling. A worked-up Doc isn’t like the broadcasters you chortle at for getting shouty; rather, you don’t even notice he’s shouting because the game just requires it. It’s only when things calm down again that you realize your heart is racing, and Doc is suddenly sounding quieter.
But perhaps the thing that makes Doc so great is the absence of self-awareness in the way he works games. There is no “trademark” ululation, no awkward attempts at catchphrases, no clumsy stab at orchestrating a “classic” call. He just does what the game demands. And as a result, his game calls are almost all classics. We scoured the internet to find one particular game, from the mid- to late-90′s, when the Flyers and Devils played a barnburner match in Philly that ended in OT. The teams traded monstrous chances in the extra frame, flying up and down the ice for what seemed like an eternity of raging, unbelievable, non-stop action until the Devils scored a wild goal to seal what we remember being something like a 5-4 win. This was still the ’90s, so the highlights were on SportsCenter later that night, and we tuned in to see what they’d say. And ESPN’s highlight package for that game was simply, without any interference from the obnoxious anchor, the entire OT as called by Doc. Sadly, this was in they days before YouTube; but seriously, if anyone at the NHL front offices can find a tape of that game, we can’t think of a better way to market hockey than just that clip. Of course, just having more games called by Doc — without what seems to be NBC’s directive for him to dumb down his call for the non-fan and without Pierre McGuire stepping on his play-by-play — is a good start.
I hate to jump off topic (kind of) in the very first comment, here, but this is killing me:
JIM LORENTZ IS RETIRING! I’m so sad! First Toni and Tally, and now Jim and RJ? There are no Sabres power pairings left!
But, to the topic at hand, I really need to check out Doc calling a Devils game, apparently. I’m not particularly annoyed by his NBC/VS stuff (just by the general whiff of bias and desperation that comes from national hockey), but I’m not really blown away by it either. In any case, I prefer Jeanneret. Sorry Ookies, it’s just in my blood.
Aww, it’s funny how much you wind up associating your team with it’s play-by-play guy. Hopefully someday I’ll hear Doc doing calling a game that’s not on a national network and appreciate what you love about him. Without McGuire.
And speaking of McGuire…if the Sabres wind up with a new color commentator that has even one shred in common with that man I am going to cry.
Anyway, maybe that should be a goal this year–hearing a Pierre free Emrick. :)
I got my Center Ice at about the same time that Nieuwendyk and Langenbrunner were traded to New Jersey, so I watched a lot of Devils games that year. I just loved Doc. He and Chico together are just adorable. I’ve heard him do national games before that weren’t so bad, but last year I felt sorry for him. With Pierre and that Eddie guy trying to fake arguments for the sake of reality-show-style “tension”. Nobody would sound good alongside them.
ha! I watched this video on youtube the other day. Jarkko Ruutu was chirping at this guy from the penalty box. It was doubly awesome because not only did you get the odd profanity from Ruutu coming through, they kept having to cut off McGuire’s mike! It was gold.
My love of Doc isn’t just a Devils thing; back in the day, he and John Davidson called games on Fox better than any broadcast pair in all of sports. And he does the women’s hockey during the Olympics. When Doc is in his element, and unhindered by lousy color guys, he’s as good as they get.
That’s so sad about Jim Lorentz! I hope they find someone good, and it’s not a situation like in New York where the Rangers replaced JD with Joe Micheletti. That’s kind of the one and only situation in which I feel sorry for Rangers fans.
That’s so sad about Jim Lorentz! I hope they find someone good, and it’s not a situation like in New York where the Rangers replaced JD with Joe Micheletti.
Apparently we’re going to hear a few different people during the remainder of the preseason: Robataille (who I’m not crazy about), Matthew Barnaby, and someone else whose name I forget. Tryouts of a sort, perhaps? It’s particularly sad because it feels like, with Lorentz retiring (from the job he’s had longer than I’ve been alive), RJ can’t be far behind. Very end of an era.
I’m looking forward to hearing Doc without an anchor to hold him down now! He’d better live up to the hype. ;)
Well, some might say Chico is a bit of an anchor, and others might say the Devils themselves are one! :D (I’m optimistic this new, forechecking Devils team is going to bring out more of the best in Doc. I can’t imagine he isn’t chomping at the bit to get to do his own thing more once he’s back in the regular season and away from the stupid VS and NBC guys.)
I have to say, neither Robataille nor Barnaby sound very promising.
So I got a trade proposed to me in my other pool.
Preissing for Schubert. I had originally had my eye on Schubie b/c of his high +/-, now I’ve done my statbitty work and found out Preissing is better on that and most other stats. Although Preissing will be a King now. I think I’m going to accept. The reason given for the trade was the guy wants more Senators on his team.
If anyone had any feedback…
JIM LORENTZ IS RETIRING! I’m so sad! First Toni and Tally, and now Jim and RJ? There are no Sabres power pairings left!
I just read this and I’m seriously almost crying. I can’t handle this! Right before the season! I need more warning! I need time to process what it might feel like to watch a Sabres game without Jeanneret and Lorenz working tag-team! Somebody tell me what to do! Tell me WHAT TO DO!
I just read this and I’m seriously almost crying.
Oh, good, I’m glad I’m not just completely overreacting. (Or, at the very least, not alone in overreacting.) This is so upsetting! In part because, as Meg said, Jim retiring means RJ’s going to be done soon, too, and I cannot deal with that thought. Sabres hockey just won’t be the same without either of these guys.
Gambler, I just can’t even deal with this. My first thought was also that there’s now a good chance this is RJ’s last season and… oh my god what are we gonna do then? I’m taking this way harder than Briere and Drury’s departures.
So I got a trade proposed to me in my other pool.
Preissing for Schubert.
I was thinking of picking up Schubert. In exchange for dropping my stray WC guy. I might still. I have a trade proposal on the table…
I have a trade proposal on the table…
You go Patty! Wheeling and dealing and it’s only the preseason – look out people, Patty’s team is ready to kick some ass!
Ix-nay, Icing!
I’ve never traded players before so I don’t really know what happens next.
I actually don’t get enough of anyone else to realize how bad national broadcasts are, but even I can tell the difference between Doc doing a national game and anyone else doing a national game. He seems to be the only one who bothers to learn anything about the teams and the players beyond what’s written on the lineups.
If anyone would like to watch two pretty good junior hockey moments…
12-round shootout (A league record until someone went 13 rounds a few months later)
1-0 OT win, Teddy Bear Toss game, against eventual Memorial Cup winner
Ookies, I may have to watch a Devils game on the Center Ice preview to hear Doc in his natural environment. My only exposure to him is from the national broadcasts, which sounds like they aren’t doing him any justice.
My first thought was also that there’s now a good chance this is RJ’s last season and… oh my god what are we gonna do then?
I think RJ’s signed officially through the end of this season, but Larry Quinn said in this morning’s paper that RJ has a contract for life. The day he (RJ) retires, there will be much sadness in Buffalo.
Aw, guys, I’m so sorry Lorenz is retiring! We watched pretty much all 82 Sabres games last year, so I know the joy that is RJ and Lorenz very well. It’s a sad, sad day for Buffalo fans. You should be crying! I’ll probably have to take a week off from work when Doc retires. The thing is, when you watch the games on TV instead of going to them, the broadcast pair might as well be two more guys on the team. They have as much impact on how you react to the game as the play on the ice does. We’ve had Center Ice for over ten years now, and we watch A LOT of hockey that isn’t the Devils-as-called-by-Doc. It doesn’t take long to learn which pairing are good and which aren’t. And more often than not, that’s the determining factor in picking a non-Devils game to watch. So I understand completely how devasting it is to lose a guy like Lorenz. It’s like the whole tenor of how you process Sabres games is changed. I’m so sorry!
And not in a Darryl Reaugh I-will-now-try-to-use-the-bi
As for hearing Doc without the national broadcasters, it’s a worthy goal. There’s a reason the man’s so highly regarded. One of the many, many things that makes him stand above the rest is that he obviously loves the English language as much as he does hockey.
I’m taking this way harder than Briere and Drury’s departures.
Me too, Heather. I’m totally more upset by this. Players you kind of expect to leave…broadcasters are supposed to be there forever.
Amy, I do actually think that Quinn is telling the truth (hey, it could happen!) when he says that RJ can stay as long as he likes…I just think he’ll want to retire.
He seems to be the only one who bothers to learn anything about the teams and the players beyond what’s written on the lineups.
Well, I know he knows where the Sabres players went to college. I think we were told that Vanek was a Gopher and Miller a Spartan about 15 times a game last year. Oh, and about how Drury went to BU. It drove me straight up the wall. God forbid we hear about where any of the many non-college players played before the NHL…no, we’d like to hear about Vanek’s college days again. I’d have prefered it not be mentioned at all at that rate. Er…this is the sort of thing I assume he doesn’t do for the Devils’ broadcast.
Er…this is the sort of thing I assume he doesn’t do for the Devils’ broadcast.
Yeah, me too. I hate those long, windy life stories that are being told over the action of the actual game. Max just took the puck end to end for a goal but no, we’re talking about the 4th line grinder’s childhood.
And not in a Darryl Reaugh I-will-now-try-to-use-the-bi
Yikes! Sorry about that! I got caught unawares by my boss, and hit submit as a reflex while trying to switch to another window. Oops! Anyway ,what I meant to say was, Doc celebrates and revels in the wonders of the English language a cool, intellectual way. You can hear the glee in his voice when he finds himself constructing a sentence he’s proud of. And I can relate to that (although you wouldn’t know it from that disaster of a comment, right?).
Er…this is the sort of thing I assume he doesn’t do for the Devils’ broadcast.
Well… no. He does this a lot. I can see how you would think this is annoying, but here’s how I look at it. Doc’s a college guy himself, so he mentions the players’ colleges as sort of a jocular, “Hey, Chico, you and I went to college, what do you think about the fact that this guy’s a Gopher?” The real key to it is, though, he uses the college thing has a flavoring element to his actually calling the game. It’s not like he’s neglecting to mention important things going on on the ice because he’s stopping to tell you all about Vanek’s statbits from college. Instead he veiws it as an opportunity to find a diffent way to indentify Vanek than the “forward” or “the Austrian-born player” or “number 26″ [or whatever number he wears; I have it in my head that he's 26, but I've been wrong before!]. Frankly, I like that vareity. And since the Devils take pride in having a lot of college guys, I’ve never minded much.
OK, all this subtle Doc bashing is turning me into MonsterPookie. I’m going to go do some actual work while murmuring Doc-isms (“No matter, the play was off-sides!”, “the puck squibs over the line”) and come back when I can handle the fact that YOU’RE ALL WRONG!!! :)
Doc is also a great guy in person. He is frequently a guest at the Devils fan club meetings and he is generous in his time and affection for the fans.
The last time I went to the fan club meeting that Doc was at he wore his Cup championship ring (the Devils made rings for the broadcasters too, pretty sweet, eh?). When his talk was over and he was signing autographs, he took the ring off and palced it on the table he was sitting at. Anyone who wanted to pick it up and take a look was free to do so.
Very cool.
Er…this is the sort of thing I assume he doesn’t do for the Devils’ broadcast.
Well… no. He does this a lot. I can see how you would think this is annoying, but here’s how I look at it. Doc’s a college guy himself, so he mentions the players’ colleges as sort of a jocular, “Hey, Chico, you and I went to college, what do you think about the fact that this guy’s a Gopher?” The real key to it is, though, he uses the college thing has a flavoring element to his actually calling the game.
Hmm…I think perhaps it could work better with the Devils where you have so many college guys. For the Sabres it was more like, watch them not talk about the game while talking repeatedly about only 4 or 5 of the players in the lineup. The truth though, is that I’d prefer not to hear stories about any players during game action. I’m not used to it, particularly because I’m very accustomed to a) radio games and b) an announcer who does television and radio simultaneously. I wouldn’t be able to follow Doc’s call on the radio because he’s telling us about stuff that’s totally unrelated to the play.
I agree that it’s nice that he learns about other teams players and does research. He seems like a great guy. And he’s far better than lots of the other play by play guys I’ve heard. I could just live without the flavoring. :)
I think we were told that Vanek was a Gopher and Miller a Spartan about 15 times a game last year. Oh, and about how Drury went to BU.
There was one game last year where the announcer mixed up one of these two player’s colleges. I can’t remember if he had Miller at Michigan or Drury at BC, but it was a pretty big mixup. I don’t think it was Doc that did it, but it was a national game.
And Pookie, Vanek is #26.
And to leave the broadcasters aside for a moment (calm yourself -ookies!), what makes for the bigger news today: Downie’s crappy hit or the death of Wirtz”?
Unfortunately, with the prevalence of Downie-style hits these days, I think Wirtz makes the big news of the day. We only see the death of a dinosaur once in a long while.
Yep, that was kind of what I was thinking. You feel awful for McAmmond of course, but that hit’s not all that different from any number of hits we saw last year.
Wow, new era for the Blackhawks. I can barely wrap my brain around this!
As for the Downie hit, I don’t even know what to say. I haven’t seen the video of it yet. Wouldn’t it be nice to see a concerted effort from the league to start with tough suspensions now — and then carry it, consistently, through the rest of the season? I mean, given the attention concussions have gotten in the MSM and blogosphere in the past week, you’d think this would be a good time to spur the league into action.
Yeah Pookie, I’m with you in spirit. Still it would be tough for the NHL to give Pronger one game in the SCF then Downie 40 games for the preseason.
Then again, this is the NHL who hates tradition (rules and sweaters) and loves inconsistency (rules and sweaters), so why not?
Wow, new era for the Blackhawks. I can barely wrap my brain around this!
Yeah, on the one hand you want to be respectful of the fact that someone has just died and that’s a sad thing, and on the other hand you can’t help but think that this is a real opportunity for the Blackhawks franchise to begin rebuilding their fanbase, which would be a very good thing.
As for Downie, hits to the head in any form are a tradition I could just flat-out do without.
Meg, I’m going to have to disagree with the fact that the hit was just like a lot of hits we’ve been seeing lately (and not just because it was our poor McAmmond on the receiving end) but I’ve rarely seen a hit where a player literally launches himself at somebody like a missile.
The Wirtz thing got me off guard too because I had only recently discovered a blog called ‘Kill Bill Wirtz’. Whoops.
I agree, Amy, and it would be nice to see the players on at least one of the two teams use their heads and realize that was a shitty idea.
You feel awful for McAmmond of course, but that hit’s not all that different from any number of hits we saw last year.
The worst part about the McAmmond hit is the melee breaking out literally on top of him. He’s out cold on the ice, and players are stepping on him and falling over him while trying to beat the snot out of each other.
How the heck did my post get above the one I was responding to?
That part really bothered me too Amy. Patrick Eaves was trying to guard McAmmond but it was hardly enough with all those big bodies trying to rip each other’s heads off. The part that irked me was Jesse Boulerice completely ignoring McAmmond unconscious on the ice and his skate was dangerously close to McAmmond’s face when he jumped at McGrattan, who was busy trying to fill Downie in. It was just really ugly all around.
How the heck did my post get above the one I was responding to?
Magic!
Still it would be tough for the NHL to give Pronger one game in the SCF then Downie 40 games for the preseason.
So start now. Give Downie 20 games. And then this playoffs, when Pronger inevitably lays a dirty hit, give him 20 games. It’s not that hard. The time has come to forget precedent.
Have the group of NFL players who’ve started raising awareness for the horrors of a life post-concussion come in to talk to the players, the management and the league. Everyone can agree that having a guy like McAmmond spend the rest of his life battling severe depression isn’t worth letting a dirty hitter like Downie have a career in hockey. If you can’t hit clean, you can’t play. It’s that simple. There are a 1,000 other guys of Downie’s talent out there who are capable of hitting clean that the Flyers can use to replace him.
Wow, I think that’s a very telling thing that when I heard that Wirtz passed away, the first thing I thought was, “Good for the Blackhawks!” And, to a certain extent, good for the league, because he was pretty influential in ownership circles, wasn’t he? But yeah, you do want to be respectful…
As for the Downie hit, I actually spent the entire game on Monday freaking out that he was going to hurt a Devil; he was just so clearly playing on the outside of showing any kind of respect or control, and I considered us lucky to have gotten out of Philly without another guy going down for us. I watched the McAmmond hit a few times last night, and it’s just so maddening to think that there are people who can try to justify it. Considering the publicity about concussions in the last week or so, and the hubbub about the Rangers-Islanders game from the other day, I am really hoping the league won’t respond lightly. Of course, who am I kidding?
I recently read an interview with Doc, by the way, in which he explained that VS and NBC both wanted, after the lockout, for their broadcasts to be focused entirely on the human-interest stories and not on radio-style play-by-play. He said that he wasn’t thrilled about having to call games that way, but he understood why the networks were taking that approach. Doc is really ill-suited for that sort of thing, though, since pretty much the only thing he really cares about is hockey, it seems. And dogs. He likes his dogs a lot. So once he gets past where a guy played in college, and gushing over the guys who do charity work with animals, he’s totally out of human-interest things to say. :D
If you can’t hit clean, you can’t play. It’s that simple. There are a 1,000 other guys of Downie’s talent out there who are capable of hitting clean that the Flyers can use to replace him.
Agreed. And frankly, even if there aren’t 1000 other guys with his talent, I can’t really bring myself to care.
And dogs. He likes his dogs a lot.
Yeah, there was a game (last year?) where there was a stoppage of play and RJ decided to actually talk to his dogs. On air. Er…it was funny, and I love him, but he’s definitely getting old. (See, I can criticise my broadcasters too! ;))
I remember that game when RJ was talking to his dogs! Hee hee!
Sherry, you’re right that the Downie hit was WAY worse than most of the other notable head shots from last year. He really was launching himself like a missile. I mean, you get those nasty hits that some people can kind of, sort of convince you weren’t deliberate intents to injure… and then you get that hit Downie threw. Furthermore, considering his history, I think he’s bringing his own precedent to the table, let alone whatever the league wants to throw into the mix.
What bothered me about the Isles-Rangers game was the fact that Chris Simon was even allowed to play. Technically he wasn’t breaking any rules but that’s the problem. You can’t possibly think something like that was just water under the bridge, especially since Ryan Hollweg has always been a borderline to dirty player. Colin Campbell was justifying it by saying players don’t get paid and don’t actually enjoy playing pre-season games and wants the suspension on games that actually count. Which makes sense, but it was either plain ignorance or oversight to think that nothing would boil over.
As for Downie, he has a reputation for crap like this and I wasn’t buying his poor little boy schtick he was pulling afterwards. I want to cut a 20-year-old some slack, but frankly that sort of disrespect doesn’t belong in the game. I’m probably a little over sensitive to the whole thing because I love Dean McAmmond but it really bothers me that if the NFL has a committee to deal with concussion problems, why hasn’t the NHL done the same? McAmmond is only 34, he has a couple of good years in him but now for his health’s sake, he’ll most likely have to hang them up.
“He likes his dogs a lot.”
Well then, Doc just moved up a notch in my book! Unfortunately, since I had only seen him on VS and NBC, his notch was way down there.
Sorry about all the Doc bashing, ookies. You gals had to know that the majority of us don’t see Devils broadcasts, so our opinions are probably pretty heavily biased. I know mine are.
YAY! Bill Wirtz is dead! Great, now I feel like an a-hole for saying that.
And finally, Jim Lorentz retiring…That is so sad, it makes me want to cry that we won’t have him and RJ discussing their seat cushions every other game this season.
Whew! Lot’s of hockey news! Good moring IPB!
You gals had to know that the majority of us don’t see Devils broadcasts, so our opinions are probably pretty heavily biased. I know mine are.
Just out of curiosity, are we the only people here who remember the pre-lockout national broadcasts with Doc and JD?
YAY! Bill Wirtz is dead! Great, now I feel like an a-hole for saying that.
Well, I’ll join you in being an asshole, andrew!
I have to go into a meeting now, but I just want to throw my two cents in on the Downie hit. I just watched it on youtube. All’s I gotta say is fuck.That.Guy. That was as merciless and intentional as any hit you would expect from an asswipe like Armstong or Kasparaitis. I say the league should suspend his sorry ass.
“Just out of curiosity, are we the only people here who remember the pre-lockout national broadcasts with Doc and JD?”
I only remember national broadcasts with Thorne, Clement, and all of the other ESPN regulars. Who knows, maybe I blocked out Doc and JD. Just kidding!!
Okay, really gotta go now! See all you in a few hours.
I say the league should suspend his sorry ass.
I believe the league has suspended his sorry ass indefinitely.
Just out of curiosity, are we the only people here who remember the pre-lockout national broadcasts with Doc and JD?
I do. I really liked JD, too. I was surprised when I found out he did the Rangers broadcasts. He made those games a little more palatable.
Pookie was trying to say earlier that Reaugh tries to work in the big words and that can be annoying. I try to pretend he means it as schtick. :D But I do appreciate that he and Ralph usually know a lot about the players on the other side.
It’s especially annoying to hear a broadcast team that knows less about the opposition than I do. Because I don’t know that much about them!
I say the league should suspend his sorry ass.
I believe the league has suspended his sorry ass indefinitely.
I think that happens automatically when a player gets the penalties he got in a game, no? And then they review everything and decide on an actual suspension. It’s a weird situation though, since he’s not really an NHL player.
I really liked JD, too. I was surprised when I found out he did the Rangers broadcasts. He made those games a little more palatable.
The loss of JD as the league’s preeminent color guy really depressed me. It should say a lot about how much I loved listening to him work games that I would often voluntarily watch the Rangers on nights there weren’t Devils games. (Of course, it helps that Sam Rosen, who does play-by-play for MSG, is probably second only to Doc. I’ll pick which football game I’m watching on Sundays based on which one he’s calling.)
It’s especially annoying to hear a broadcast team that knows less about the opposition than I do. Because I don’t know that much about them!
I know! I hate that so much! Like when the sorry-assed guys for some random team you’re stuck watching on Center Ice don’t even bother trying to learn the other team’s player’s names.
Good morning all!
Ding, dong, the Wirtz is dead!
I don’t care if it’s disrespectful, he did more to hurt an NHL team than any other single person I can think of. And I’m not even a Chicago fan!
I think that happens automatically when a player gets the penalties he got in a game, no?
Yeah, he got a match penalty, I think. Which means he’s suspended until the league decides what to do with him. I can only hope they “forget” to decide what to do and just leave him hanging for a while.
I don’t care if it’s disrespectful, he did more to hurt an NHL team than any other single person I can think of. And I’m not even a Chicago fan!
I imagine the 10 remaining Chicago fans are celebrating right now.
I imagine the 10 remaining Chicago fans are celebrating right now.
They should get a (very small) parade for sticking with the team through the Wirtz era. They’re either very, very, very loyal…or masochistic.
Was this a Boxworthy plot?
The Devils narrowly avoided a Dan Boyle-type disaster when the skate Travis Zajac hung on the high hook atop his locker fell and barely missed hitting his head yesterday.
Was this a Boxworthy plot?
Yes it was! I imagine Zach tried to put on a casual, concerned face, but could only barely conceal his disappointment that his attempt at disfiguring Travis went horribly awry.
Man, these NHL players really need to practice hanging their skates!
It’s very difficult to imagine Zach trying to cover his perma-grin up with “casual and concerned.”
Maybe guys should start storing their skates under their stalls?
Man, these NHL players really need to practice hanging their skates!
Well, considering their hands and skates are slick with sweat, they probably can’t get a good grip on them.
Well, considering their hands and skates are slick with sweat, they probably can’t get a good grip on them.
You know, these new uniforms clearly pose an excellent opportunity for another Brian Campbell excessive sweating commercial.
Well, considering their hands and skates are slick with sweat, they probably can’t get a good grip on them.
And if there’s a determined Turtle-of-affairs pushing your skate off the peg, I wouldn’t imagine there’s much you can do about.
And if there’s a determined Turtle-of-affairs pushing your skate off the peg, I wouldn’t imagine there’s much you can do about.
Very salient point.
Hey, I bet we’ll get more a chance to see Boxworthy this season, since I’m sure he’ll be on call to be brining Zach fresh skates and gloves every five minutes. A man of Zach’s status can’t be seen wearing equipment with even the tiniest drop of sweat in it.
You know, these new uniforms clearly pose an excellent opportunity for another Brian Campbell excessive sweating commercial.
I’m suddenly suspicious that Soupy was behind the new sweaters all along. He might look like a dolt, but really he’s a criminal mastermind.
Somone had better send Frank Doyle after Soupy!
I’m suddenly suspicious that Soupy was behind the new sweaters all along. He might look like a dolt, but really he’s a criminal mastermind.
Criminal? I protest! He merely want everyone to be as concerned about excessive sweating as he is. He has only the noblest of intentions!
This might be a dumb question, but I have to ask it, since I don’t skate. Don’t skates generally come with blade guards or something the players could put on before they hang their skates up?
He has only the noblest of intentions!
If you consider “global domination attained through nefarious schemes designed to make everyone on the planet sweat excessively” noble, then I guess you’re right.
Pookie, Frank Doyle would get on this right away, but he’s in court today hearing the latest bad news on the alimony front.
Don’t skates generally come with blade guards or something the players could put on before they hang their skates up?
Blade guards are like visors, but weenier.
(Actually, I have no idea.)
Don’t skates generally come with blade guards or something the players could put on before they hang their skates up?
I have no idea. Figure skates do, but I’ve never worn hockey skates.
Don’t skates generally come with blade guards or something the players could put on before they hang their skates up?
Well, they don’t come with skateguards or soakers (the soft cloth kind). But I’m sure they have them for when they pack their gear for road trips. :)
The best thing for the blades to keep from rusting is to get dried off after skating, and then leave them out in the open with no skate guard on. Since NHLers don’t have to stuff all their gear in a bag every time they skate (unlike the recreational-skating masses), they just hang them on pegs in their lockers.
The best thing for the blades to keep from rusting is to get dried off after skating, and then leave them out in the open with no skate guard on.
You know, I actually never thought of that. Thanks for the inside info, Mara.
Blade guards are like visors, but weenier.
Haha!
They’re for the crybaby types that get all whiny just because their hand has been severed from their arm.
They’re for the crybaby types that get all whiny just because their hand has been severed from their arm.
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Or in Travis’s case, his Waldorf hair severed from his scalp.
What, exactly, is Waldorf hair?
Yikes, I just watched that hit. You would hope they wouldn’t let that kid back up to the NHL, but I doubt they do it. I love how some flyer fans are claiming it was a clean hit and McAmmond just didn’t have his head up. Give me a fucking break. I also hope they punish him enough so there’s not another Bertuzzi/Moore revenge drama.
Hee, Patty and Schnookie
:^::::::::::
I love how some flyer fans are claiming it was a clean hit and McAmmond just didn’t have his head up. Give me a fucking break.
They’re Flyers fans. If the game had been in Philly, they’d probably have booed McAmmond.
Or in Travis’s case, his Waldorf hair severed from his scalp.
Well, that’s what he gets for making his skate hook himself out of acorns and macrame.
Well, that’s what he gets for making his skate hook himself out of acorns and macrame.
What, no popsicle sticks?
What, exactly, is Waldorf hair?
An extremely adorkable haircut, befitting a Waldorf school kid, of course! In short — Travis’s hairstyle.
Yikes, I just watched that hit.
I decided to be highly professional and watched the hit here on the public reference desk computer. Wow. There isn’t a soul on Earth, Flyers fans or no, that can honestly believe that was a clean hit. It was also incredibly disturbing, even with warning, to see the guys pile up on top of him to start fighting. One Flyer actually (I’m assuming inadvertently) kicked McAmmond out of the way when skating by. Based on that hit, it was reasonable to assume to worst, so shouldn’t all the players know basic safety measures include “do not move the injuried party”? Un-fucking-believable.
I really don’t like get het up about this kind of thing, and generally don’t enjoy the “how many games should he get” game, but on this matter I’ll go on record saying they should throw the book at Downie. This kind of hit is far worse, in my opinion, for the game that a Simon-esque sticking swining incident. Because there isn’t anyway who will say the stick swinging is just part of the game. But when it’s a hit like this, there’s too much room to say, “Oh, it was just another bad hit, we can ignore it.”
Well, that’s what he gets for making his skate hook himself out of acorns and macrame.
Travis: I’ll see you in macrame!
Holy crap, Patrick Marleau actually scored in a shootout last night. The planets must’ve lined up just right for that one.
And seriously, why couldn’t this Downie schmuck have laid a hit like that on Neil? Certainly wouldn’t justify it, but no one could say he didn’t have it coming! Too mean?
It just seems so weird to me that the NHL suits are so concerned with hockey’s image, yet refuse to do anything concrete about hits to the head. But I could yell about this until I’m blue in the face so I’ll stop.
Travis is so adorkable :) I hope he never changes. I would macrame with him ALL day!
Well, that’s what he gets for making his skate hook himself out of acorns and macrame.
It’s going to take him until whatever is the NHL equivalent of fourth grade to really learn the lesson in that, though.
I would macrame with him ALL day!
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
So did you guys see Raffi Torres on the Daily Show last night? It was awesome:
http://battleofalberta.blogspot.com/2007/09/raffi-on-daily-show.html
Hee, the cool ones are. Well Waldorf cool anyways.
That thing with Raffi Torres was HILARIOUS! I laughed so hard at the bit with the translator.
Thanks for the link, Sherry! That was awesome! We always watch the Daily Show a day behind, so I hadn’t see that yet. The bit about the hot women on Canada made me laugh out loud here at work.
Hee that was great Sherry! I hadn’t seen Jon Stewart in ages. NHL fanhouse finally did their Canucks preview. Most of it was true if not revolutionary. Yes we need more scoring. Naslund needs to improve. Yadda Yadda Yadda. Then they said we’ve only scored 5 goals in 5 pre season games. That’s a lie! I gave them a snarky comment. It was fun.
I don’t think my mouth is ever going to be the same. Boomer just brought me a GINORMOUS container of pineapple from Whole Foods. It’s so sweet and delicious — is there any way I can stop myself from eating too much of it, before my mouth gets all puckery? Unlikely.
alix, way to go leaving a snarky comment!
Thanks Schnookie! Mmmmm now I want pineapple. My aunt just bought me a mini fridge so maybe I’ll go buy some.
That Jon Stewart video was great, Sherry!
Alrighty ladies I’m off to grab some lunch. Have fun with that pineapple Schnookie.
I can’t feel my tongue anymore. This is some good pineapple!
Have a good lunch, alix!
Yeah, that was hilarious!! Thanks Sherry!
Did you all look at BoC today? Rudy is officially going to liveblog the kings game on Saturday. Should be a good one!
Yes! I love Rudy. He’s so funny. Ok, I’m really going now, I swear.
I can’t wait to read Rudy’s liveblog!
How was the meeting, andrew? More interesting than the “How the state budget is formed” one, I hope.
Rudy is officially going to liveblog the kings game on Saturday. Should be a good one!
YAY! I suspect our semi-live (posted in intermissions) game diary of the game will consist of a lot of “Rudy’s so funny — look at what he just said!”
Oh, Schnookie, don’t you wish you knew of a good blog that could offer some pineapple factoids?
(That’s right. Someone found IPB seaching “pineapple factoids”.)
I would kill for some hot pineapple factoids right about now.
Since we’re sharing links today, this one came up on my iGoogle. ESPN The Magazine has anointed Drury/Gomez and the Rangers as the new saviours of hockey.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/preview2007/news/story?id=3036959&campaign=rss&source=NHLHeadlines
I would kill for some hot pineapple factoids right about now.
If only you had a box of pineapple flavored Krispity Krunch.
I just threw up pineapple factoids all over my laptop:
Gomez came of age in the Devils’ team-first, me-somewhere-after-the coaches/trainers/fans/ice girls and Zamboni guys system. He’s a Calder Trophy winner and an All-Star who can’t repress his inner Devil
If Scott Gomez had even a TINY SHRED OF AN INNER DEVIL, he would never have signed with the Rangers. That is just repulsive to suggest some Devilness would remain after crossing the Hudson.
“How was the meeting, andrew? More interesting than the “How the state budget is formed” one, I hope.”
It was fine. Normal “last Wednesday of the month” all staff meeting. no biggie!
“If Scott Gomez had even a TINY SHRED OF AN INNER DEVIL, he would never have signed with the Rangers.”
That would be the equivalent of Drury signing with the Leafs! Or Briere going off to sign with the….wait, shit.
BARF!
BAAAAAAAARF!
I HATE THEM SO MUCH
Amy, I have to issue you a boatload of IPBDemerits for sharing that link! I’m just puking with disgust right now. GAH! SLAG-FACED WHORES! They’re so gross!
And what kills me about this “The NHL is secretly rooting for these two megastars now that they’re in NYC” thing is that they’re both second-tier “big names” at best. I mean, there’s a bonanza of bona fide, marquee-type free agents potentially coming on the market this coming summer, but just because Gomez and Drury were the hugest names of this past summer doesn’t mean they’re superstars on whom the NHL should want to hang its hat. It just means it was a thin crop of UFAs.
I HATE THEM SO MUCH
I had kind of come to terms with it all, just in sort of a “Well, they’re skanky and they’re going to suck with the Rangers” equilibrium, and now I’ve read this… and my pineapple is turning to ash in my mouth.
HAAAAAAATE
How did they get Drury to smile? I CANNOT deal with Drury unless he is looking cross eyed and miserable. HATE.
Drury, known as hockey’s Mr. Clutch even before he won a Stanley Cup with the Avs in 2001, and Gomez, a speedy and crafty 27-year-old with two rings of his own (2000, 2003)
Something about this sentence seems so wrong. Am I being super-sensitive here, or does this make it sound like Drury’s the greatest thing since sliced bread that he carried the Avs on his shoulders to the promised land, and oh yeah, I guess Gomez has done sort of well for some team I can’t be bothered to mention?
“… and my pineapple is turning to ash in my mouth.”
HA! Oh man, the vitriol is flowing! Just let it out…
I’ve got to give it to Gomez, though — he’s very wisely refusing to let himself be singled out. It’s not an inner-Devil thing, it’s self-preservation. He knows he’s never going to be worth the contract they gave him, so he’s keeping Drury stapled to his side as a “See, fans! Don’t hate on me! I brought you Drury! We’re all in this together, and have you noticed how much we’re paying him?”
That article was just… I’m throwing up pineapple factoids of rage and I haven’t eaten pineapple since… oh, since the last time Chris Fucking Drury won something significant — 6 fucking years ago! How clutch can you be when you’ve played on 3 teams in 6 years and not made the Finals once since you last won?
Am I being super-sensitive here, or does this make it sound like Drury’s the greatest thing since sliced bread that he carried the Avs on his shoulders to the promised land, and oh yeah, I guess Gomez has done sort of well for some team I can’t be bothered to mention?
Pookie, I think they have to make a point of mentioning it was the Avs Mr. Clutch won with, because for a guy as indispensably Clutch and Winning as Drury allegedly is, he’s sure been around the block. People immediately identify Gomez with a winning team. People look at Drury and go, “But the Sabres came up short, didn’t they? And before that, wasn’t he with the Flames?”
“Hockey has its fans,” Gomez says. “But everything goes through ESPN in the world of sports. The game has to go back on ESPN.”
I love how Gomez even bent over for ESPN. HE’S SUCH A WHORE. AND HE HASN’T EVEN WON THE LLWS. HE’S NOTHING!!
I also think it’s funny that Gomez had to remind Drury why he couldn’t wear 11. I mean, we’re supposed to believe Drury’s been dreaming of playing for the Rangers his whole life, reciting the Rangers numbers with his nightly prayers, and then he’s like, “I really want 23… Hey, I know! Wear 11!” I hope at that point Gomez said, “I’ve made a huge mistake.”
Also, what’s up with this “Gomez has no ego” shit? Has no one payed attention to him the last 7 years? What? They haven’t? Oh right. Sorry. I forgot.
I apologize for sharing that barf-worthy article about the slag-faced whores, but I could suffer in silence no longer. It’s a complete and total bj of the two of them, and the Rangers organization.
I prefer this AP headline from their first game with the Rangers:
“Gomez and Drury both losers in Rangers debuts”
Let’s not turn on each other her ladies. They are trying to get us to argue about who’s slag-faced whore is better….or worse…or something. All that matters is that they are DEAD to us.
“Although league officials would rather eat a puck than admit to rooting for the red, white and blue, a successful Rangers Cup run would thrust hockey back into the spotlight in the biggest media market in the world at just the right time.”
That part of the article cracked me up. The league has it’s nose so far up the Rangers’ you-know-whats, it’s not even funny. They might as well change the name of the team to the New York Bettmans.
“Gomez and Drury both losers in Rangers debuts”
The best part was the sub-headline: “And in life.”
Oh, vomit. I also like how it’s never, ever mentioned that Drury was apparently something of a malcontent with the Flames. He’s a great leader…except when he’s not. Yeah.
Holy shit I hate the Rangers.
Drury was a malcontent as a Flame? Tell me more….
Although league officials would rather eat a puck than admit to rooting for the red, white and blue
Should someone point out to ESPN that the NHL has multiple teams that wear red, white, and blue?
On more thing I find particularly galling about this article is Gomer’s all, “It’s not about the money or ego at all! I just wanted to live in Manhattan!” Dude, you know how far Newark is from Manhattan? Not far. So fucking live in Manhattan and play for a team that might actually attempt to win, or admit you just wanted more money and your ego stroked!
I don’t know why I’m so angry about this. I’m much happier with the Devils without Gomer, regardless of how we suffer for having lost our top center. Oh speaking of which, what’s up with “Gomez and Drury came into camp as Centers 1 and 1A”? Again, I hope Gomez said, “Yeah, I didn’t sign here so you suggest that I’m not the top center here.” And I hope Rangers fans are smart enough to say, “Wait, we’ve got a 3rd line talent being touted as Center #1A? We’ve made a huge mistake.”
I also think it’s funny that Gomez had to remind Drury why he couldn’t wear 11.
SERIOUSLY! What kind of life-long Rangers fan, a guy whose crossed robot eyes used to allegedly light up at the mere mention of that holiest of franchises, doesn’t remember 11 is Messier’s number??? Drury was still in fucking high school (before being led by Pando to the NCAA title, might I add) when Mess and the Rangers won the Cup, so he HAS NO EXCUSE! GAH! THEY SUCK SO BAD!!!
I was just gonna post that ESPN link about the Slag-Faced Whores!
The only Ranger I can root for is Brandon Dubinsky. He has the perfect ego and personality (Manhattan-sized) for NY, but he’s had it since he was a midget 16-year-old shorter than me. He rocks.
Drury was a malcontent as a Flame? Tell me more….
I don’t really know any more than that. All I’ve heard is that he didn’t like it there and didn’t play particularly well there. Which I imagine is why the Flames were so willing to trade him. No mistake…his current contract is a result of his success with the Sabres which has certainly helped to build the myth around him.
I feel so violated right now.
“Game 3 of the Stanley Cup finals on NBC last June posted a 1.1 Nielsen rating, matching the lowest for a prime-time broadcast in NBC history. Major-market mania could only help heal the NHL’s buzz blues.”
And this!!! I almost (calm down, I said almost) want the Rangers to make it to the godamn finals, just so that the league will be able to watch the ratings continue to circle the bowl. Then, maybe they will realize that they’re chasing a white rabbit with this whole “Let’s get more Americans to watch!” fiasco, and they’ll quit fucking with the game and it’s rules..
And by ‘midget’, I meant short. Not the level of hockey.
Hey everyone! I haven’t been around here in awhile. I figured it was kosher with work if I ventured here during lunchtime. I see the “We hate Rangers” fanclub is still going strong.
All I’ve heard is that he didn’t like it there and didn’t play particularly well there. Which I imagine is why the Flames were so willing to trade him.
Yeah, I’d heard that too. I just really can’t get over how much of this stupid “He’s a winner!” shit he gets to carry over from being on a Cup winner his rookie year. I think from now on I’m going to call BabyCrunchy Mr. Clutch.
And this!!! I almost (calm down, I said almost) want the Rangers to make it to the godamn finals, just so that the league will be able to watch the ratings continue to circle the bowl. Then, maybe they will realize that they’re chasing a white rabbit with this whole “Let’s get more Americans to watch!” fiasco, and they’ll quit fucking with the game and it’s rules..
I’m pretty sure that in the second round more people (actual people, not ratings numbers) were watching in Buffalo than in New York City. Take a moment to appreciate just how fucking big NYC is when compared to Buffalo. Yeah, that major market doing well is just fabulous for hockey. Except wait, it’s totally not.
Good to see you again, kms2! And the “We Hate The Rangers” club is, I think, just something that springs up in anticipation of your arrival, since it had been pretty dormant (although never completely gone, of course) until just about now… :D
Oh, I’m absolutely dizzy with hate right now.
Good to see you again, kms2! And the “We Hate The Rangers” club is, I think, just something that springs up in anticipation of your arrival, since it had been pretty dormant (although never completely gone, of course) until just about now… :D
On a side note, the online ESPN Magazine issue is awesome. I like it better than the print version!
I think from now on I’m going to call BabyCrunchy Mr. Clutch.
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Hey, kms2! Long time, no see! How’s it going?
Recently I was writing my predictions for what numbers I think my boys will put up this season and in order to make some comparable comparisons I was looking at what other guys in the league did last year. I was shocked to find out what Gomer and Drury did last year knowing what kind of contracts they pulled down in the off-season. Maybe Drury can beef up his resume with being a great team leader and role model but Gomez??? umm….I coudn’t think of one reason why he deserved that contract.
We need to spin elaborate yarns about the misery of the Rangers locker room so that I don’t go insane this year. Even if they end up achieving a modicum of success, I need (I NEED) to believe that they all hate each other.
“…but Gomez??? umm….I coudn’t think of one reason why he deserved that contract.”
HAHA! Ya think?
“Even if they end up achieving a modicum of success, I need (I NEED) to believe that they all hate each other.”
Rest assured, Kate, they will. You see, as a new hockey fan there are some constants that you will soon come to learn. Stupid rule changes, Columbus and Phoenix missing the playoffs, and NY having a poisoned dressing room.
They always seem to have too many cooks in the kitchen.
Maybe Drury can beef up his resume with being a great team leader and role model but Gomez??? umm….I coudn’t think of one reason why he deserved that contract.
I hate to defend a SFW here, but Gomez was an key component of 2 Cup winning teams, and he winged Elias and Gionta and Mogilny to huge years. Last year was a big bust for him (largely because of injuries to himself and Gionta) but he’s inarguably one of the top 5 playmakers in the game. He didn’t deserve the money he got, but who does (other than Sid and Joe Thornton)?
Even if they end up achieving a modicum of success, I need (I NEED) to believe that they all hate each other.
I just operate on the assumption that everyone hates Jagr.
Do you think he’ll apologize for trying to elbow Gomez out of the 2005 playoffs? Or does Gomer have to be the one to apologize because Jagr threw his shoulder out in the attempt?
I think from now on I’m going to call BabyCrunchy Mr. Clutch.
SUCH a great point!
Stupid rule changes, Columbus and Phoenix missing the playoffs, and NY having a poisoned dressing room.
So true!
I’ve got to give it to Gomez, though — he’s very wisely refusing to let himself be singled out. It’s not an inner-Devil thing, it’s self-preservation. He knows he’s never going to be worth the contract they gave him, so he’s keeping Drury stapled to his side as a “See, fans! Don’t hate on me! I brought you Drury! We’re all in this together, and have you noticed how much we’re paying him?”
This is actually very delightful for me to consider, because I bet Drury is already irritated that he is stapled to the affable/lazy Gomez. Yup, you and Gomer, together forever my little slag-faced ex-S,PW. Two peas in a MISERABLE pod.
Thanks for your reassurances andrew. As long as I believe Drury is miserable, I’ll be okay.
Maybe Drury can beef up his resume with being a great team leader and role model but Gomez??? umm….I coudn’t think of one reason why he deserved that contract.
I would say that Gomez got that contract based on his making Mogilny and Gionta into 40-goal scorers, and based on how his line with Gio and Patty did two years ago (when Gio and Patty were both in contract years and weren’t Gomer killing). I think he was vastly overpaid, but of the two contracts his actually makes a lot more sense to me than Drury’s. He’s a bona fide top-line center and is one of the best pure passers in the game. I can see how a team would do that “His numbers are artificially low because of the system he played in” justification (although look at how well that turned out for the teams banking on Guerin and Holik…), and could rationalize that, if he was on an offense-first line, he’d be able to replicate his big-number years. With Drury, I just can’t understand why you’d pay that much money for intangibles. I mean, character and leadership are great and all, but can you really pay THAT much for them, and moreover, can you pay that for a guy you don’t even know if he’ll fit with the players you already have?
I wonder how Jagr feels, since that article made him appear to be the third banana in a two banana band.
I’m way behind but if anyone launches himself at Tim Connolly’s head this season I’ll be the girl in the vintage jersey climbing over the glass. Because I WILL cut a bitch. Fucking ridiculous hit.
I’m off to read this piece of crap article about the whores. Be back in a second!
I wonder how Jagr feels, since that article made him appear to be the third banana in a two banana band.
Well, we all know how Jagr hates to be the center of attention.
Oh, and Katebits, never fear — everyone in the Ranger room is going to HATE playing there this year. Because on top of the lethal brew that is the oversized personalities of Gomez, Jagr, Shanahan and the Drury Myth, there’s the ticking time bomb that is Sean Avery.
Bigger egos might continue to pose, but the two newest New York Rangers, unsure if the force of their celebrity will hold off Gotham cabs, scurry back to the sidewalk.
Oh, God. This is bad already. What the hell is this?
“…but he’s inarguably one of the top 5 playmakers in the game.”
Whoa! Let’s not get carried away here…Maybe top 10, maybe.
I might actually be rooting for Avery this year. Come on, baby! They disrespected you during that arbitration! Your 24 girlfriend left you! You need to take all that anger out on someone. Just LOOK at Drury all smug there at his locker. Captain Clutch they call him, and meanwhile YOU are being disrespected by Sather in the press. Go take it out on DRURY! Go Sean, GO!
Bigger egos might continue to pose, but the two newest New York Rangers, unsure if the force of their celebrity will hold off Gotham cabs, scurry back to the sidewalk.
Oh, God. This is bad already. What the hell is this?
NYC cab drivers do not give a shit about a couple hockey players, so it’s probably for the best that they scurried off.
I’ve got to give it to Gomez, though — he’s very wisely refusing to let himself be singled out. It’s not an inner-Devil thing, it’s self-preservation.
Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! Congratulations, Schnookie!
Oh, God. This is bad already. What the hell is this?
I was trying to go line-by-line, too, Heather, and just ended up unable to keep on going. I actually was only able to read about 1/3 of the article before I snapped.
“…but he’s inarguably one of the top 5 playmakers in the game.”
Whoa! Let’s not get carried away here…Maybe top 10, maybe.
OK, fine, you’re right. But the fact remains it makes a lot more sense to sign Gomez to a veteran team that it does to sign Drury. I mean, sure Drury’s a fantastic leader for a team like Buffalo, that had a bunch of young guys coming up from Rochester, who needed to learn how to purport themselves in the NHL. I don’t think that same brand of leadership is really something the Rangers line-up is going to benefit from. If Brendan Shanahan can’t whip them into shape, Drury can’t either.
Remember me mentioning how Oregon is so anal about obscene vanity plates?
The Udink family already had THREE cars with Oregon vanity plates, UDINK1, UDINK2 and UDINK3. They applied for UDINK4 for their son and it was denied, and the DMV made them give the other three back too.
Because apparently ‘dink’ is offensive. It’s a sexual verb (oh come on, EVERYTHING is a sexual verb if you say it right!) and a derogatory name for Vietnamese that I’d never heard of.
I’ve used ‘dink’ my whole life as a sort of affectionate version of ‘dork’.
“if anyone launches himself at Tim Connolly’s head this season I’ll be the girl in the vintage jersey climbing over the glass. Because I WILL cut a bitch. Fucking ridiculous hit.”
If that hit had been on Timmy, his head would look like a freakin’ soft serve right now. Poor Timmy, I love the little guy, he’s just so fragile.
I’ve used ‘dink’ my whole life as a sort of affectionate version of ‘dork’.
“Dork” is also a sexual term. Seriously. I had a teacher in high school who wouldn’t allow it in his classroom.
I mean, sure Drury’s a fantastic leader for a team like Buffalo, that had a bunch of young guys coming up from Rochester, who needed to learn how to purport themselves in the NHL. I don’t think that same brand of leadership is really something the Rangers line-up is going to benefit from.
This is what pisses me off so much about him. In Buffalo they were constructing an entire fucking team around his INTANGIBLES. In New York they could care less.
Not to get to graphic, but in what way is ‘dork’ a sexual term? That’s a new one for me, and I consider myself fairly well versed in such things. :)
Speaking of Avery, apparently he was all butt hurt about not being suited up for the big brawl game the other night againt the Islanders. He said he’s going to be looking for revenge when the regular season starts up. Are you kidding me? Revenge? The guy turtles worse than Barnaby and Boxworthy put together.
In Game 2, the Rangers had a 2-1 lead early in the third period when Drury, planted by the right post, redirected a blue-line blast, tying a game the Sabres eventually won. In Game 5 he struck again, banging home a rebound with 7.7 seconds left in the third to force OT.
Yeah, Chris totally won that game. Forget the guy who took the original shot or the guy standing on his fucking HEAD at the other end of the ice. It was all Chris. Totally. Even though he had very few points besides those during the playoffs and couldn’t win a faceoff to save his life.
This article is pissing me off! I refuse to read anymore!
The guy turtles worse than Barnaby and Boxworthy put together.
My money’s on Boxworthy here.
Wasn’t Avery the one who concussed Weekes the other night?
“Dork” is also a sexual term. Seriously. I had a teacher in high school who wouldn’t allow it in his classroom.
See! Everything is a sexual term!
If we’re going to ban plates that could IN ANY WAY POSSIBLY OFFEND ANYONE AT ALL NO MATTER HOW RETARDED, as an atheist, I want them to ban all the “4JESUS” and “LUVGOD” plates, DAMMIT.
Oh, and with regards to Gomez’s playmaking skills, the guy is as shifty and deft a passer as pretty much anyone in the league today. But he has a way, way, waaaaay below-average shot, so he’s easy to defend because he’s so one-dimensional offensively. He was so good on the EGG line that one year because the Devils assistant coaches harangued him all year to shoot more; then last year his work ethic and discipline fell off again, he stopped shooting, and he had an awful season. What are the chances, if the Devils could only get him to play with that kind of commitment for one year out of seven, that the Rangers are going to be able to wring it out of him?
In Buffalo they were constructing an entire fucking team around his INTANGIBLES.
This is where I disagree. Buffalo was constructing the team using his intangibles to cement a group that would play for each other, with a number of young players ready to take on leadership roles. Drury was undoubtedly invaluable to Buffalo since the lock-out to prepare guys like Crunchy, Roy, Soupy, Max and even Pommerdoodle, to know how to step up when the time called for it. With a cast like that coming into their prime, you don’t need a Drury. You need a Crunchy and a Roysie and a Pommer. Guys like that need to be given the reins and told, “This is your team now.” If Drury was still around, you’d have a bunch of guys saying, “I want a team where I can be the go-to guy.”
By the way, I’ve got trouble admitting that your slag-faced whore is way better (or worse, depending on how you look at it) than ours. Our slag-faced whore is total bullshit.
I love ESPN the Magazine making it a point that the NHL needs to be on ESPN to be taken seriously. Everyone involved in this article is an asshole!
I’ve used ‘dink’ my whole life as a sort of affectionate version of ‘dork’.
I’m totally going to start using ‘dink’ in the most unappropriate ways!
Not to get to graphic, but in what way is ‘dork’ a sexual term? That’s a new one for me, and I consider myself fairly well versed in such things.
It’s a derivation of “dick”. I was shocked to hear that, but apparently it’s true! I mean, sure, it’s been denuded of that meaning in modern usage, but there you go!
I love ESPN the Magazine making it a point that the NHL needs to be on ESPN to be taken seriously.
Frankly, I think they have a point, though. NO ONE takes Versus or the horrible NBC coverage seriously. ESPN gives automatic credibility to a “sport.” (Poker and competitive cheerleading, anyone?) For a sport to be mainstream, there has to be a national audience.
By the way, I’ve got trouble admitting that your slag-faced whore is way better (or worse, depending on how you look at it) than ours. Our slag-faced whore is total bullshit.
I didn’t realize this was a “whose slag-faced whore is better than the other” pissing contest! I thought we were all in agreement that they’re both awful, and we’re just venting here!
With a cast like that coming into their prime, you don’t need a Drury.
Aww, thanks Pookie. Your comment just made me feel so much better. You’re totally right! For some reason when I was writing the yearbook photo post yesterday, I kept thinking, “Look at these guys all grown up!” And I swear to God, they look happier to me. I think they’re glad he’s gone. :D
Fuck Drury.
But you can’t use it in the “Jagr is a dork” sense. You would still have to call him a dick.
You could, however, say that “Jagr likes to dork sheep in his spare time.” That would be a perfectly acceptable insult.
By the way, I’ve got trouble admitting that your slag-faced whore is way better (or worse, depending on how you look at it) than ours. Our slag-faced whore is total bullshit.
I never meant any part of this discussion to turn into one situation was worse than the other. Both situations totally, 100% suck for both fan-bases (but in completely different ways).
If Drury was still around, you’d have a bunch of guys saying, “I want a team where I can be the go-to guy.”
Like Briere!
Frankly, I think they have a point, though. NO ONE takes Versus or the horrible NBC coverage seriously. ESPN gives automatic credibility to a “sport.” (Poker and competitive cheerleading, anyone?) For a sport to be mainstream, there has to be a national audience.
They do have a point. But it still comes across as unseemly. I think they could’ve made the point about TV ratings without patting themselves on the back so much. Of course, I hate ESPN so I might be biased.
Frankly, I think they have a point, though. NO ONE takes Versus or the horrible NBC coverage seriously. ESPN gives automatic credibility to a “sport.” (Poker and competitive cheerleading, anyone?) For a sport to be mainstream, there has to be a national audience.
While this is true, I don’t get ESPN so I want the NHL to stay on Vs. dammit…don’t worry, I know I’m alone on this one.
I didn’t realize this was a “whose slag-faced whore is better than the other” pissing contest! I thought we were all in agreement that they’re both awful, and we’re just venting here!
Oh, all I meant was: I agree that Gomez is more valuable than Drury. I am so hating Drury right now. I think he might be the least valuable person in the land. (But Gomer sucks too. He is also completely devoid of any real value, as a hockey player, or as a man.)
You could, however, say that “Jagr likes to dork sheep in his spare time.” That would be a perfectly acceptable insult.
It’s insulting because — and I’m not making this up — it’s 100% true.
And I swear to God, they look happier to me. I think they’re glad he’s gone. :D
I think it is very possible that Drury wasn’t the right leader for this team at this time. A bunch of our guys have captained or led teams to championships at different levels (more recently than their Little League days) and I’m really excited to see what the team looks like once the season starts.
They do have a point. But it still comes across as unseemly.
I thought it was interesting that the MAGAZINE printed something like that, but most of the ESPN anchors have apparently been told to ignore the NHL 95% of the time and be snarky about it the other 5%. Is ESPN’s left hand not talking to its right hand?
While this is true, I don’t get ESPN so I want the NHL to stay on Vs. dammit…don’t worry, I know I’m alone on this one.
I don’t know… I’d almost rather the NHL stay on a network that clears whole nights out for games and shows some appreciation for the sport than move to a network that’s going to cram it in between bowling and poker. But I don’t really have a problem with hockey being a niche sport so I suppose I’m in the minority too.
“I don’t get ESPN so I want the NHL to stay on Vs. dammit…don’t worry, I know I’m alone on this one.”
Meg, you might actually, literally, be alone on this. I have never even heard of anyone having Vs. but not ESPN. I think you’re the first!
The NHL failed on ESPN. It was a laughing stock when it was on the “Worldwide Leader”. There was no automatic credibility to it! I think there’s no reason why (theoretically) another channel couldn’t come in an establish a foothold alongside ESPN. I know there are a lot of sports fan out there who are disatisified with what ESPN’s become. Once upon a time I hated missing even a second of the 6 o’ clock SportsCenter and the 11 o’ clock Sunday edition was the highlight of the week. Now I know not to bother looking for any meaningful content from them except for the scores on the Bottom Line.
“It’s insulting because — and I’m not making this up — it’s 100% true.”
Gross dude. If you have proof, I do not want to see it.
It’s insulting because — and I’m not making this up — it’s 100% true.
Are you suggesting that Jagr actually likes to dork sheep in his spare time. Because I’m pretty sure that Drury wouldn’t approve of that. Hopefully somehow Jagrs sheep fetish will lead to locker room fisticuffs. Hee. Can’t you picture Jagr and Drury throwing punches in the locker room while the rest of the team flitters about nervously, all with an embarrassed sheep bleating in the corner?
Meg, you might actually, literally, be alone on this. I have never even heard of anyone having Vs. but not ESPN. I think you’re the first!
I have a very weird cable package, but it would cost me approximately twice as much to get the digital cable that includes ESPN.
But I don’t really have a problem with hockey being a niche sport so I suppose I’m in the minority too.
I’m with you there, Heather! As long as we have the games on some channel I can see, and as long as there’s an active and fun blogosphere, I could case less if there’s anyone out there caring about hockey!
But I don’t really have a problem with hockey being a niche sport so I suppose I’m in the minority too.
I’m with you there, Heather! As long as we have the games on some channel I can see, and as long as there’s an active and fun blogosphere, I could case less if there’s anyone out there caring about hockey!
Same here!
Me too!
The thing that I like about the NHL not being on ESPN is that there is a growing discontent with “The Worldwide Leader”. They have expressly stated a desire to get away from sports broadcasting and get into more “entertainment” programming, and it just seems like there is an increasing groundswell of voices in the sports and entertainment media pointing out that the ESPN hegemony is becoming an easier and easier target. Not that its demise is imminent or anything, but looking at the arena football debacle, where ESPN bought an entire fucking sports league and decided just having it on the air would make it into a legit sport and failed, you can see that there are some cracks in the edifice there. Obviously, the NHL being on VS right now is only helping VS, and it would behoove the NHL to get at least some presence back on ESPN, but I’m very intrigued to see what might happen in the long run with a different provider challenging for the national cable sports audience.
Meg, you might actually, literally, be alone on this. I have never even heard of anyone having Vs. but not ESPN. I think you’re the first!
I have VS but not ESPN, because VS is included in the basic-basic-basic $9 Comcast cable package, and you have to upgrade to at least the $50 package to get ESPN.
But if the NHL went back to ESPN, I’d upgrade back. At least ESPN knows how to put together a sports broadcast of any type. Their equipment and crews are just better. Even two years in, VS broadcasts are pretty lame.
—-
I don’t mind hockey being a niche sport, I just wish it didn’t get ragged on all the time. If being a mainstream sport is what it takes to get people who’ve never watched hockey in their lives to make the same tired old jokes about it, then by all means, let’s go mainstream. Poker and pro rodeo don’t even take as much crap as hockey does and if there were ever “sports” crying out to be made fun of, it’s Poker and rodeo.
We should totally gather our pennies, buy a network, make a deal with the NHL, and build an empire to rival ESPN.
Can’t you picture Jagr and Drury throwing punches in the locker room while the rest of the team flitters about nervously, all with an embarrassed sheep bleating in the corner?
The only part of that picture that rings false is that Jagr can only throw one punch before his shoulder explodes. So it would be a very brief fight.
And no, I have no evidence that Jagr dorks sheep. Just a conviction in my gut that it’s true — I mean, look at the guy!
Er, I meant:
what it takes to get people who’ve never watched hockey in their lives to stop making the same tired old jokes about it
Jagr totally dorks sheep. Constantly.
I don’t mind hockey being a niche sport, I just wish it didn’t get ragged on all the time.
At this point, I don’t even care if it’s ragged on. As long as there’s a Captain Crosby and the Penguins of Tomorrow to make up for Tony Kornheiser, I’m happy.
Jagr totally dorks sheep. Constantly.
Well, he’s said publicly that he doesn’t like American women. There aren’t a lot of Czech women for him to choose from over here. Either he’s celibate, he doesn’t mind American men, or he’s going for the livestock.
Jagr totally dorks sheep. Constantly.
Well, the whores are always asking for money we all know he doesn’t have. So sheep it is!
I’m just not sure hockey is ever going to be mainstream. I think it’s time to lose some disinterested markets, take the league down a step, and embrace the niche-iness.
Well, he’s said publicly that he doesn’t like American women.
That’s a good thing, because I think I can speak for us all as a group when I say the feeling is mutual.
“As long as there’s a Captain Crosby and the Penguins of Tomorrow…”
And he’s on my fantasy team!! HAHA!! (and kms2′s team)
I’m just not sure hockey is ever going to be mainstream. I think it’s time to lose some disinterested markets, take the league down a step, and embrace the niche-iness.
Hear, hear! Hear, hear! Heather B. for NHL Commissioner!
I’m with you 100% on this, Heather. I was especially proud of myself watching that Raffi Torres bit because I didn’t even get angry that they implied hockey’s all just about fist fights! It was like, “Yup, that’s what they think. Oh well! They’re loss! Back to the blogosphere were people understand this great sport that only us lucky few understand!”
I’m just not sure hockey is ever going to be mainstream.
It should be pointed out that, with the exception of the NFL, nothing is as mainstream as it used to be. The internet and the expansion of cable and satellite tv has totally saturated the sports market, which is fast becoming more of a long-tail sort of thing than the “Big Four” of the halcyon days of yore.
Oooh, good point, Schnookie!
That’s a really good point, Schnookie.
I totally don’t care that a lot of people hate hockey. Those people are stupid. Because the Canadians are so nutty for hockey, it will never actually go away or anything, so whatevs.
At this point, I don’t even care if it’s ragged on. As long as there’s a Captain Crosby and the Penguins of Tomorrow to make up for Tony Kornheiser, I’m happy.
But Kornheiser’s Penguin Dance is totally adorkable.
Granted, as a new fan I haven’t suffered through the years of neglect from the sports media, so I have that working for my “whatevs”, care-free attitude.
Hear, hear! Hear, hear! Heather B. for NHL Commissioner!
Thank you! My first ruling is to allow anyone in the AmazingLeague to pick up one player not in his or her conference as long as they really, really love that player. Or is that outside my power?
Amy, I adore the penguin dance.
I will say this before I leave for Open House (the single worst thing about my job – turns out most of my kids are screwed up for a perfectly good reason): If I’m the commissioner I’m laughing at the very mention of expansion bringing up discussion on how many teams we should contract.
My first ruling is to allow anyone in the AmazingLeague to pick up one player not in his or her conference as long as they really, really love that player.
You know, some of us are keeping mum about a certain Waldorf kid of ours who remains unclaimed, too. :D
You know, some of us are keeping mum about a certain Waldorf kid of ours who remains unclaimed, too. :D
It’s not MY fault you don’t love your player as much as I love mine, okay? ;-)
You know, some of us are keeping mum about a certain Waldorf kid of ours who remains unclaimed, too. :
No one wants Gambler?! I’ll take her!
No one wants Gambler?! I’ll take her!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::
Oh, and Heather, I am SO sorry you have to go to what one of my old colleagues in the education biz called “Meet the Creature” night! That sounds awful!
Oh, and Heather, I am SO sorry you have to go to what one of my old colleagues in the education biz called “Meet the Creature” night! That sounds awful!
It is. Which is why I’m still sitting here instead of getting in my car. I’m doing that right now. I mean it. Right now.
Heather, I could grab Timmy, but I am trying to nab Jokinen instead. I totally don’t understand waivers. I can’t figure out if Boyle is on my team, and I dropped Sundin but he’s still there on my roster. I heart wants Timmy, but if my entire team is all Sabres, what’s the point of playing fantasy hockey in the first place? :D
Sorry about the OPen House, Heather. Ouch.
Good luck at Meet the Creature night, Heather!
No one wants Gambler?! I’ll take her!
Aw, thanks, Katebits! Although I should probably tell you that I’m not that fast. Or tough. And my stick-handling sucks. And I can only stop myself by running into the boards. But I can make all of the Fancy Bits fantastic acorn-and-macrame skate hooks!
By the way, I was here through the entire ESPN-gate, but couldn’t comment because I was too busy trying to puke up my own eyeballs. That article was hell embodied.
Kate, changes show up on the next day. If you go to Sep 27th you’ll see that Sundin is gone. :)
The Fancy Bits are all about macrame. After a tough loss we sit in a circle and macrame collages about our feelings. You should see the haunting piece that Zdeno Chara made in our last Fancy Bits team meetings. You’d fit right in, Gambler.
I was here through the entire ESPN-gate, but couldn’t comment because I was too busy trying to puke up my own eyeballs.
That really is kind of the best description of the feeling, isn’t it? Of course, the attempts to puke up my eyeballs left my throat feeling singed, because my eyeballs had first burst into flames.
Oh! Thanks Meg! So, do I get Jokinen unless someone with a higher waiver ranking wants him? He’s on my “pending waivers” list, but he is also still on the “available players”. Is this something that i shouldn’t be broadcasting? Hee. JOKINEN IS AVAILABLE AND I WANT HIM, EVERYONE.
Kate, as I understand it that’s how it works.
Of course, the attempts to puke up my eyeballs left my throat feeling singed, because my eyeballs had first burst into flames.
:^::::::::::::::::
I think with all the discussion of the Rangers that could potentially happen here this season, it might be be worth it to come up with some sort of emoticon short-hand for puking up (flaming) eyeballs. You know, for those situations when “WHERES THE FUCKING PHONE?!?” is just too much to type.
:^0:::::::::::::?
:^0 :*:*:*:*:*:
Those are little fireballs between each set of eyeballs.
x^0:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:
because you don’t really have any eyeballs where they used to be….
Oooh, good attention to detail, andrew!
x^0:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:
because you don’t really have any eyeballs where they used to be….
Oh my gosh, that’s hilarious.
X^0:*:*:*:*:*:* is GENIUS!!! Although hard for me to type. Too many pinkies moving around there…
I thought about using the *** for fireballs, too, but I wasn’t sure it looked right. I think X^0:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:* takes the cake though. Hysterical, andrew!
“X^0:*:*:*:*:*:* is GENIUS!!!”
Feel free to pay me a quarter in royalties every time you use it.
Funny, coming from the guy who refuses to use emoticons.
Feel free to pay me a quarter in royalties every time you use it.
What’s the exchange rate into hookers and blow like, these days?
I hate using emoticons, too, andrew. But IPB emoticons are just too hilarious.
Funny, coming from the guy who refuses to use emoticons.
I hated, hated, hated emoticons until Schnookie directed me to the ones McSweeney’s presented as being Civil War era emoticons.
=|:^# being Abe Lincoln, for example.
Then I realized I really need a good short hand for, “Whatever you just said was so freakin’ funny!” Thus my entree into the world of emoticons. I only just the smiley’s because tone doesn’t covey and I’ve gotten in a ton of hot water because of that over the years.
I was an emoticon hater until I realized that sarcasm doesn’t always convey. Now I’m an emoticon abuser, but I’m hoping I hurt fewer people’s feelings. (But really, how can you hate an emoticon for “I just vomited up my eyeballs after they burst into flames”? I mean, there was a glaring need for it, and it’s so much faster than writing out that whole phrase…)
I also used to hate txt language like LOL or OMG until Schnookie and I started using TCNMC to stand in for “This correspondence now must cease”.
Don’t get me wrong, I reallly don’t hate them. I hate it in IM, when an actual smiley face is subbed in for whatever you “emoted” (can’t think of a better word).
But overall, they’re fine. I just don’t use them myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I reallly don’t hate them. I hate it in IM, when an actual smiley face is subbed in for whatever you “emoted” (can’t think of a better word).
What?? You don’t love the little Yahoo smiley guy rolling around on the floor and laughing?
(Because I actually do! Not even being sarcastic.)
I hate it in IM, when an actual smiley face is subbed in for whatever you “emoted”
Aw, man — I HATE that. I mean, I like the “cleverness” (for lack of a better word) of creating a little picture out of letters and symbols. Don’t dumb it down by making an actual little face! GAH! It’s so embarrassing to be IMing, accidentally slip one in, and suddenly you’ve got a bright yellow smiley glaring up at you like a giant zit on your otherwise blemish-free text. SO AWFUL!
Sorry, Patty, but I’m with Andrew on this one. This is why I feel the need to invent my own that the IM client won’t be able to co-opt.
Alright, everyone TCMNC! (Or at least, my participation in this correspondence now must cease, as I’m heading home!) Toodle-oo!
Oh man! I almost forgot to comment earlier:
“…his love of hockey (and knowledge of the game) just radiates off the television in waves.”
I know I already talked shit about Doc today, and I won’t anymore after this comment. But when I read the above quote, all I could think was:
“…his disgusting man-love of Chris Neil (and knowledge of Sean Avery’s naughty parts, intimately, as it were.) just radiates off the television in waves.”
And I only say that because the BUF/NY and the BUF/OTT series were so all about those two shitheads that I just wanted Joe and/or Doc to quit talking. Forever.
“…his disgusting man-love of Chris Neil (and knowledge of Sean Avery’s naughty parts, intimately, as it were.) just radiates off the television in waves.”
That was NBC’s man-love of Chris Neil (and knowledge of Sean Avery’s naughty parts) that he was contractually obligated to prattle on about! He didn’t want to do it!
“That was NBC’s man-love of Chris Neil”
I know, that is why I give Doc the benefit of the doubt. Joe Beninatti, however, gets no love. He is a moron and his only saving grace is that his color man on the Caps broadcasts has a funny voice and therefore makes me laugh.
Hello IPB! Mags here from somewhere in Brussels airport, stealing internet from some business lounge.
Patty, because you asked yesterday: I’m going to both games, and I’ll be wearing my bright green BoC shirt (I made the screenprint on it myself :D) for both of them. Unless I talk myself into the Marty jersey, which is entirely possible (I did bring it). My taller-than-Pronger cousin will be sitting next to me wearing cobalt blue.
Ok, I’m going to read the comments and the posts now :)
Hello Mags!
Good to hear from you! My anti-Doc rant scared everyone away, so thanks for stopping by!
Dude, Andrew, you are such a glutton for punishment.
I’m off again. Gotta find the gate for my connecting flight. I might be back in 2.5-3 hours. See you!
“Dude, Andrew, you are such a glutton for punishment.”
I AM! Damnit!
It’s cool. It’s lulls like this which allow me to get actual work done.
Yay! Mags! I’m glad we didn’t have to wait until you got back to hear some details.
If I see you on TV, I’ll pause it and take a picture of it with my camera and have the -ookies use it in a post!
It’s lulls like this which allow me to get actual work done.
Exactly.
So I was in class and missed the Rangers puke extravaganza. But I’ll just say this, Drury was a FLAME!?!?!? Ewwww! I did not know that. Gross. He is tainted by the TWO teams I hate the most. I wish he would just swim in a vat of bleach or something.
andrew, it wasn’t your anti-Doc screed that drove me away — it was my undeniable need for a nap!
Yay! I just picked up Travis “macrame” Zajac and the younger veela for the Swedish Meatballs. I’m feeling much better after getting rid of Madden and some dude that has 7 pts.
alix, I can’t guarantee much of anything about Zajac other than that he will score more points than Madden. (Touch wood.) :D
We are watching the world’s most boring season preview for the Devils on FSN NY right now, and they have this prolonged feature about the new arena. So we’re bored with it, blah blah blah, we’re seeing footage of the arena bowl under construction, and suddenly we notice — THE BANNERS ARE HANGING THERE ALREADY!!!! WOO HOOOOO!!!!
Hank scored!!!!!!
Staffy scored!!! It’s a big night for the B. Family Favorites.
Woooooo Stafffffy!
0.0 Heather I’m watching the game on Center Ice Online, are you too?
in the Leafs’ defence, I say it was a 2 Man advantage and Hal Gill was sucking :(
Vanek doesn’t look like he’s worth that contract though :( I hope the buffalo fans won’t jump on him later in the season if he doesn’t perform…
I’m not watching it. My computer is not being cooperative. Plus I kind of wanted to hear Matt Barnaby. (Pretty good so far although he called Jochen Hecht “Johan.” And he did it twice so it wasn’t just a slip of the tongue.)
Of COURSE Buffalo fans will be all over Vanek… But I think he’ll be fine.
Pominville will never score another goal without Briere! Oh, wait!
I’m sure Van will be good! He’s one of my fantasy meatballs. I’m sure Travis will get me lots of points, and if he doesn’t he promised to paper mache a life sized meatball to be our mascot.
I HATE Matt Barnaby. He can’t pronounce anyone’s name! He sounds like he’s got marbles in his mouth. I’m hating him! But
I’m happy that the Sabres are behaving like their run ‘em and gun ‘em selves!
…. i’d love to say the sabres are being particularly good, but the Leafs D really, really sucks. T_______T
this looks like a long season ;_;
COME ON BOYS T__T I REALLY MISSED HOCKEY!
God, Barnaby has a bad voice for radio. He MUMBLES.
God, Barnaby has a bad voice for radio. He MUMBLES.
It’s the silver teeth with the Sabres logo engraved in them.
(That’s not an IPB mythology. That’s fact.)
There’s something odd about Barnaby’s voice but I’m not gonna lie, I loved the little rat when he was here so I’m probably overlooking more than I should. (But seriously, “Johan”?)
Heather he called Tally, TAL-inder. He doesn’t know your boy’s name! We can do better.
Barnaby does NOT have silver teeth with a Sabres logo! If he really does, I say he SHOULD get the job.
Kate, I did catch that but again, I chose to overlook it. Everyone pronounced it that way for a long time until one day Hank (and Toni) said, “Ummm… Yeah. You guys are saying our names wrong and pretty much always have.” Oddly enough, Hank used to pronounce it TALL-inder in his intro video too so I don’t know… But you’re, right, I should be more demanding.
Toni Tony Tone is wearing the C tonight!
He IS?!! Hooo-ray!
Toni, Tony, Tone is such a good captain! The Sabres are kicking ass tonight. They must respond well to middle-aged suburban lesbians. :D
Barnaby does NOT have silver teeth with a Sabres logo!
He used to. I suspect he took them out when he left Buffalo. But yup, he totally had a silver tooth with the buffalo head logo on it.
That is so awesome in the worst possible way. Hm. Do I love him now? This is a tough one…..
No, Katebits, don’t love Barnaby. He’s a douchebag.
Hmmm, do you think Zajac, Staffy, or Vanek’s a better captain for the Swedish Meatballs?
Zajac. Definitely. He’s a Waldorf kid! He knows all about cooperating and helping the group succeed! Staffy’s got a lot of captain potential — that he learned from Travis at UND! Oooh, snap!
Hee! I was leaning towards Zajac. He’s adorkable. And he’ll lead craft time when the team is stressed. Although I did just add Chris Clark, and he blocks shots with his mouth…
Ohhh, Chris Clark’s a good captain, too, but Travis! Craft time! Acorns! Tintin tattoos!
I think Sakic’s the undisputed captain of the Invinnycibles :x
but I actually wanted to ask, how do you give a letter to your captain? :x
Tintin tattoos! How could I forget the Tintin tattoos. Done!I’ll let him make his own C out of macaroni.
Burnaby Joe is a great choice! Maybe he’ll share his virgin’s blood with the whole team.
Okay, I just checked the scores for tonight’s game and who the heck is in net for the Leafs or should I bother not asking? I’d understand if the answer was ‘nobody’.
And of course we wouldn’t have this problem if the new scoresheets actually told me who the goalies were. Gawsh! I hate them so much.
Sherry, it’s Toskala. Except it’s not his fault, really. Like one or two goals, but our D is atrocious and our offense doesn’t care. Like seriously, they’re floating around disinterested. I haven’t been more disappointed yet :(
Coupled with the fact that there have been something like three five on three’s in the game… T__T.
He IS?!! Hooo-ray!
Yep! Hank and Yo-Yo have the A’s.
Man, too bad we don’t have Chris and Danny. We’re never going to win a game playing like this!
I know, Heather! Crunchy is going to have to stop every single puck this season because the Sabres are NEVER going to score again!
I was just checking the Sabres score! Nice game! And, hmm. Let’s look at the box score so far. Who’s that with 3 goals, 3 assists, +4 and 6 shots on goal? Why it’s Derek Roy, from the Raccoon Wives!
I had no idea. I assume this is the kind of line he puts up all the time, right?
(Sorry, Vinny.)
Vinny, did I ever tell you that I just love your fantasy team name? Love it!
Roy scores at least six points a night, Patty!
Roy scores at least six points a night, Patty!
Totally! And Hank scores one per game!
Heather he called Tally, TAL-inder. He doesn’t know your boy’s name! We can do better.
Bad news, Kate. Ruff also still pronounces it that way. Seriously.
I thought Barnaby sounded pretty nervous, and obviously he needs to learn some pronunciations (as would most announcers in the league) but overall he wasn’t nearly the disaster he could have been. Total homer though.
I thought Barnaby sounded pretty nervous, and obviously he needs to learn some pronunciations (as would most announcers in the league) but overall he wasn’t nearly the disaster he could have been.
I’m indifferent to Barnaby, since I don’t know him that well. But I try to give new ex-player broadcasters a few tries before I call them failed (if I don’t already hate them, of course).
I even gave Brett Hull some extra chances. Fortunately he was smart enough to see for himself that he was failing.
I remember the first couple of times I saw Ray…. um…. oh! what’s his name?… doing some sideline kind of bits and he was TRIPLE nervous. But he cleared it up fast and I think he does a pretty good job.
Damn. Can’t think of his last name.
Actually, he sort of grew on me as the game went on. I wasn’t TOTALLY hating him at the end.
Roy scores at least six points a night, Patty!
That’s great! Now I know I’m going to kick the ass of everybody in the AmazingLeague!
I remember the first couple of times I saw Ray…. um…. oh! what’s his name?…
Rob Ray! He definitely grew on me. He’s the only guy I don’t hate doing that “Between the Glass” garbage.
I’m indifferent to Barnaby, since I don’t know him that well.
Yeah…his time in Buffalo was before I was a hockey fan so I’m really not familiar with him either.
I think it might be Ray Ferraro or something like that Patty. You know what would be great? If the Canucks could not take penalties every 10 seconds! Gosh, I know they’re good at penalty killing but still.
Rob Ray! He definitely grew on me. He’s the only guy I don’t hate doing that “Between the Glass” garbage.
Half the time he seems to be looking at the wrong cameras though. Although I loved the bit during the Ottawa-Buffalo brawl where Ruff and Murray were yelling at each other and Rob Ray was just standing there covering the mic with a hand. There was just something very funny about all that fighting going on and him just standing there in a suit.
Oh that guy! I was confused.
I think it might be Ray Ferraro or something like that
That’s it! Thanks, alix!
I kept wanting to say Ray Romano.
No, alix, Ferraro is right. Although Rob Ray is probably a perfectly good dude. I don’t know him.
Barnaby is one of those players you should definitely hate but I loved him. I don’t know, I was a young fan. I didn’t know! There was something kind of sweet about his douchiness.
I didn’t think he was terrible especially since it was his first time, he was clearly nervous, and he was taking over the spot of a long-time announcer. He was okay enough that I wouldn’t mind hearing him a few more times.
I love Ray Ferraro and I agree that Rob Ray is pretty good behind the glass. He’s sometimes a bit inarticulate on the studio show but he’s one of those guys that it’s just good to have around.
Not a problem Patty. I like Ferraro, he’s funny.
Schnookie, Bucci is BACK! “I Write the Columns that Make the Whole (Hockey) World Sing.” Yes!
http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/preview2007/columns/story?columnist=buccigross_john&id=3036832
I like Ferraro, he’s funny.
If by “funny,” you mean “handsome” then I agree :-)
I like Ray Ferraro too.
Heather, I just watched ANTM. I can’t follow that with Bucci! I might end up brain dead.
Hee, you watch ANTM, Schnookie? They don’t get that channel on the tv at school.
Who is this ass clown? I couldn’t even finish it.
Heather, I just watched ANTM. I can’t follow that with Bucci! I might end up brain dead.
Schnookie, it’s a pretty short one but I totally understand. Should I warn you about the Barry Manilow-Martin Brodeur comparison?
Who is this ass clown? I couldn’t even finish it.
If you’re talking about Bucci, well, he’s only Schnookie’s very favorite hockey writer!
Hee, too bad for Schnookie.
From Bucci’s latest “column”, on what he writes about in general:
this column is 95 percent hockey, and 5 percent music, golf, baby names, swimsuit models, otters, cheese, front porches, bonfires and an occasional reference to Denny’s.
Those of you poor unfortunate souls that have read Bucci’s column more the once — have you ever seen actual hockey content in any of his columns, let alone 95% of any of his columns?!?
One of the radio guys just called a Canuck “a water bug dancing through traffic” Hee, random.
Hee, you watch ANTM, Schnookie?
Dude, I don’t just watch it — we spend a good hour after each episode Monday-morning quarterbacking it! Seriously, we parse each episode and discuss with all solemnity each girl’s performance and why certain photos worked and other didn’t, and why Tyra and the judges made the choices they did… I totally unironically love ANTM. It’s deeply shameful, but I figure it keeps me off the streets for two hours a week, right? :D
Heather, please tell me you’re kidding about the Manilow/Brodeur thing. Now, don’t get me wrong — I love Barry Manilow for his appearances on The Colbert Report, but seriously. Bucci just hurts me. He hurts my intellect. I hope to gather the strength to read this column within the next 24 hours, and will give a full report, if I still have the ability to read and write by the time it’s over.
Dude, he’s bragging about the word counts of his columns! He’s like a high sophomore being thrilled that his term paper was one page longer than required!
Oh, and alix, “ass clown” is a very good start when one is attempting to describe Bucci!
He’s like a high sophomore
Sorry, I meant “high SCHOOL sophomore”. It’s that ANTM being followed immediately by Harold Lloyd’s “The Freshman”. My brain doesn’t know what to think!
Okay, Pookie threw down the gauntlet, so I’m reading Bucci now. Pray for my mental health, y’all!
FUCK ME! He’s been writing that column for SEVEN years?
YES! Finally the Canucks freaking score. I know you ookies aren’t the biggest Morrison fans but he set up a gorgeous play and passed the puck to Pyatt while getting flattened by a Shark.
Why does Bucci think anyone cares about the origins or intentions of his column? I mean, really? I want to know what made him decide to take this tack. I mean, he’s hardly so intellectually challenging that someone would read him and wonder, “Wow! Where is this guy coming from??” Bucci, you sir, are no Gregg Easterbrook.
I love the term ass clown. I probably use it way too much. I’m so pleased you love ANTM, Schnookie. It’s so trashy but oddly addicting. Who the fuck has paid that guy for seven years?
RudyKelly must be rubbing off on me — I am incensed by Bucci’s LA Kings preview. He concludes with:
I’ll still watch the Kings a lot on the Center Ice package to scan Anze Kopitar, O’Sullivan, Alexander Frolov and Jack Johnson. But, when Nagy hits the ice, I’ll probably turn the channel.
What? The Kings are notably laughable for having a bad player mixed in with young and exciting players? Because you know no other team is like that, and that’s totally what you should be focusing on as a “professional sports writer”.
this column is 95 percent hockey, and 5 percent music, golf, baby names, swimsuit models, otters, cheese, front porches, bonfires and an occasional reference to Denny’s.
Yeah, Pookie I would agree that his ratios are a little off. Also I just realized that his Chris Drury Man Crush is going to be really, really annoying this season. Last season I thought it was mostly cute (until he suggested the Drury was a more deserving Con Smyth winner than Crunchy) but this season… ugh.
Okay, I love Bucci being all, “I loves me some brainy quotes!” and then kicks things off with an REM lyric. What a fucktard.
Schnookie, I’d like to put in a request that you guys “live blog” Bucci’s column every week. This is so entertaining!
Dude, is this an NHL preview or an update on the artistic merit of John Mayer? Why do we care? I can’t read this anymore. It’s too much to bear after the Gomez/Drury thing. I JUST CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE!
Thanks for the warning about the Manilow/Marty comparison, Heather. Without it I think I’d probably have broken my computer with the sheer force of my sputtering confused rage — “WTF?!?!?” Fortunately, Bucci will always lay claim to having written the stupidest thing I’ve ever read in my entire life (“Michaelangelo was the Thom Felicia of his time”) so everything else is like, “Man that’s stupid, but it could be worse!”
To whichever ookie has Juice(Bieksa) he just scored.
What? The Kings are notably laughable for having a bad player mixed in with young and exciting players? Because you know no other team is like that, and that’s totally what you should be focusing on as a “professional sports writer”.
Nagy’s not even spectacularly bad, is he? I was under the impression that he was just decidedly mediocre. One of those should-be-better-than-he-is guys. And as for Handzus…when he’s healthy I think he’s the sort of quality player that a team needs even if he’s not exciting per se. Am I totally off base on that?
Here’s the final kicker for me about Bucci — the mailbag. 95% of the letters are people fawning over him and hoping he’ll bless them with a terse, unrelated spurt of crappy pop lyrics. The other 5% are morons like the person who wrote in to ask this:
I know your column hasn’t officially started yet, but I’ve searched the rosters in vain and cannot find Peter Forsberg listed on any team.
Yeah, because anyone with internet access and an interest in hockey doesn’t know that Martle’s been running, all summer, updates on which free agents haven’t signed yet. And yet Bucci is more than happy to think he’s just as important to the firmament of hockey information dissemination. And it’s insulting to anyone who reads and who loves hockey.
Go Juice!!!
Meg, I’m with you on the veteran guys the Kings added. I don’t look at any of them and go, “What a DISASTER!” I mean, yeah, in a perfect world you want a team of all young amazing players, but, uh, where’s that team? Even the Penguins had to go out and pick up a bunch of dried-up old hags. I just really don’t understand what point Bucci’s making in his Kings preview.
Pookie that letter stunned me. I haven’t really spent my summer hunting down Forsberg information but yeah, I still know what’s going on with him. Geez Louise.
I will confess that there are things I like about Bucci but I loathe the way he can’t just give a straight answer or comment. He attempts to make everything witty or brainy.
Dammit. This Shark baby is a Luongo killer.
Maybe RudyKelly could do a review of the Bruins for Bucci.
There are a ton of blogs that are wittier and smarter than his columns. I was going to name a few, but there’s already a bunch just around here. :D
He attempts to make everything witty or brainy.
And fails miserably on both accounts. He has no expertise in hockey at all. And seems to think we care what he has to say because he reads cue cards on ESPNews.
We are currently having a shouting, raving discussion here at stately IPB Manor about why we hate Bucci. I think our biggest issue with him is that he’s just a lousy writer, but he thinks by rambling on about his golf game and his taste in music that he’s somehow hockey’s Bill Simmons. He ends up sounding instead like a vapid talking head, though, because his lack of insider information is not offset by a knack for insightful analysis, and his presentation is not that of a fan’s but rather that of an ESPN talking head. He’s really neither here nor there with his perspective; he’s not an insider and he’s not “just another guy watching from his man-cave”.
Maybe RudyKelly could do a review of the Bruins for Bucci.
I totally want to see RudyKelly and Bucci combat blog! Bucci would be begging for mercy 2 sentences in!
I think that’s what my problem is. He’s like a stoned high school student who thinks everything coming out of his mouth is so fucking hilarious.
Rudy would OWN him!
Ooh, Rudy totally would own him! That would be great!
Oooh Canuckies, why are you allergic to having a lead?
Bucci would definitely be more palatable, I think, if he would just present himself as a fan who has no inside information or connections. Well, maybe. But yes, there are numerous blogs out there that are more insightful and better written.
I have to say, while I knew you guys didn’t like Bucci, I had no idea bringing him up would cause such an uproar. Awesome :-)
He’s like a stoned high school student who thinks everything coming out of his mouth is so fucking hilarious.
Wow. Pegged him!
I have to say, while I knew you guys didn’t like Bucci, I had no idea bringing him up would cause such an uproar. Awesome :-)
If anybody’s like me, they probably thought they were alone. I mean, look at the fan mail he gets! And, as he has pointed out many times, NHL Tonight once won an Emmy!
Oh, I see how it is, Sabres. You wait until I have to go to rehearsal and can’t sit dutifully by my computer, and then you go and score seven goals?! I thought you loved me! You know, I have rehearsal tomorrow night, too. What are you going to do, then? Get a shutout?!?
And, as he has pointed out many times, NHL Tonight once won an Emmy!
Surely that was back in the Bill Pidto days, right? Right?
You know, I have rehearsal tomorrow night, too. What are you going to do, then? Get a shutout?!?
What, Crunchy’s not playing tomorrow? Hee hee! Sorry, couldn’t resist.
What do I win Patty? Hee. Oh yeah! Nazzy and Trev just had a gorgeous shift. Beautiful stick handling and passing and handed a goal to a rookie. Who says they’re washed up?
Seven? Holy crap!
Pookie, I was going to make the Crunchy joke!
Gambler, it was awesome. Sounded like Derek was a whirling dervish out there which makes me all happy inside. And Hank scored!
If anybody’s like me, they probably thought they were alone.
Patty, I think that is partly why I’m so surprised. I thought all hockey fans loved Bucci.
Heather, Bucci’s always good for a few hours of exasperation for us. After the Thom Felicia/Michelangelo thing, he just sets my blood boiling by just being! :P
And Toni Tony Tone was captain!
Oh, and the Devils won big tonight, too! 6-1. They got three goals on Pretty Ricky in the first four minutes, and Gio ended with a hat trick. Of course it wasn’t on TV. Sigh. Anyone want to bet they don’t score six goals in any regular-season game this year?
I honestly can’t understand the hockey fans who do like Bucci. I sometimes suspect those “fan emails” are totally made up. I mean, who emails John Buccigross for baby-naming advice?
And Toni Tony Tone was captain!
And Hank with the A. There’s just no separating those two! :-)
Yeah, I never got the whole baby-naming thing. Do people actually use these names? Bizarre. You can’t pick your own hockey player to name your kid after?
I honestly can’t understand the hockey fans who do like Bucci. I sometimes suspect those “fan emails” are totally made up.
He’s like the Penthouse of online sports columns!
You can’t pick your own hockey player to name your kid after?
Well, these are people who don’t know where Forsberg has ended up for this season, so no, they probably can’t come up with Hakaan Loob on their own.
He’s like the Penthouse of online sports columns!
Whaaaa? Those letters are made up?
Schnookie, true. What was I thinking? And congratulations on the Devils big win? How’d they score 6 goals from the neutral zone?!
How’d they score 6 goals from the neutral zone?!
Like I said — Pretty Ricky!
Does someone want to tell the Canucks that the power play is supposed to end with a goal?
How’d they score 6 goals from the neutral zone?!
You forget, Heather, this is the New Sutter Era. For every moment a Devils forward spends hanging out in the neutral zone not forechecking, the entire team is forced to skate 1,000 suicides.
Like I said — Pretty Ricky!
Only 14 more years!
You forget, Heather, this is the New Sutter Era. For every moment a Devils forward spends hanging out in the neutral zone not forechecking, the entire team is forced to skate 1,000 suicides.
And they haven’t killed him yet? This is going to take some getting used to!
alix, I’m not sure my guys can help your guys out with the whole power play thing. They were 2 for 5 tonight but one game out of the last 87 isn’t enough to convince me that they know what they’re doing.
Heather did you hear Toni’s post game interview? They asked him if he saw himself as a captain and he basically said no and that they must have been out of running out of potential captains to be giving him the “c” in the first place. Hee!
Sorry! You guys are talking about Devils- as you should. I’m pommerdoodling over Toni Lydman tonight.
It’s just like: oooooh look at our pretty passing, pass, pass, pass,pass…just SHOOT at the FUCKING NET.
Heather did you hear Toni’s post game interview? They asked him if he saw himself as a captain and he basically said no and that they must have been out of running out of potential captains to be giving him the “c” in the first place. Hee!
Awwww, that’s cute. I love to hear Toni interviewed. He has a sweet slow, plodding voice. I saw an interview with him the other day where they asked how he felt about not playing with Hank and he said, quite adorably, “Oh, I’ll play with anyone. I just want to play.” (I know he was crying on the inside.)
Sorry! You guys are talking about Devils- as you should.
No reason why we can’t talk about the Devils and the Sabres!
And they haven’t killed him yet? This is going to take some getting used to!
I have high hopes we’ll see them shooting pucks at him at tomorrow’s practice. That’s right, I’m playing (pre-planned) hooky to go to the Devils practice tomorrow. I’m guessing we’ll get there at 10, and stick around until their ice booking runs out at 2:45, and not see a single Devil the whole time. And we’ll get up at 8 am to do it! Woo-hoo! We’ll be sure to give a full report of it. Expect to see lots of the stalking rock.
It’s just like: oooooh look at our pretty passing, pass, pass, pass,pass…just SHOOT at the FUCKING NET.
Ah, yes. That sounds very familiar! Sorry, alix.
Toni’s response to getting the “C” is awesome!
And on that note, I’m outta here. The adrenaline rush of complaining about Bucci has completely worn off. It’s bedtime for me! Good night!
Good night, Pookie!
Hee. It’s all good Heather. Oooh. Shoot out. I haven’t seen one of those yet this preseason.
Good night Pookie! Enjoy your Devils hooky tomorrow.
I was just reading kms2′s latest post on her blog and she happened to mention a glaring grammatical error in Bucci’s column.
Hard to sound brainy when you don’t know the difference between “you’re” and “your”!!!
Bye Pookie!
Hard to sound brainy when you don’t know the difference between “you’re” and “your”!!!
Ugh, I hate that! I’m surprised I didn’t notice it since that’s one of my pet peeves. That column just got a lot worse. (I love that the entire blogging world is evidently reading and commenting on Bucci’s column.)
Ha! That’s funny Patty. Hee I’m such a loser. I’m actually so worked up about this Canuck shoot out even though it doesn’t count.
Booo! California teams are killing us so far.