The 95 Theses Of IPB « Interchangeable Parts

The 95 Theses Of IPB

October 10, 2007 by Schnookie

The flak over the Islanders Blog Box has raised a lot of questions about bloggers writing with the intention of covering their teams like journalists, where the ulimate goal is to get a press pass and access to the dressing rooms. In discussing this on NHL Fanhouse, Greg Wyshynski points out that bloggers are offering a public service. And as public servants, then, we feel it’s time for us to make it clear to you, the public, our Gentle Readers, what our mission is as bloggers. The following is our 95 Theses, which we will be nailing to Bettman’s door tomorrow morning.

1. Global Domination

2. Failing #1, Global Brand Recognition

3. Press passes to Devils games that include access to Lou’s Copy Boy’s secret diary.

4. Free pretzels. Good ones! Not the ones CAA sold.

5. A comment from Mirtle in which he refers to himself as Martle.

6. The Devils winning the Cup every year.

7. Control over the pre-, post- and during- game content on NY Hockey Night Live

8. The chance to kick Stan Fischler in the nuts just once

9. The respect of established bloggers like Greg Wyshynski.

10. Psych! #9 was a total lie!

11. Autonomous control over All-Star rosters. We pick all the players. And we pick which ones will skate shirtless during the game.

12. The right to select one player each month to be permanently banned from further participation in the NHL.

13. The right to replace all of Bucci’s columns with our own.

14. Recognition that we are the arbiters of correct analysis. If we say the Devils are interesting and the Senators are boring, we’re right, and the rest of the hockey media (alternative or otherwise) must fall into step with us. Because we’re tired of reading people ranking on our team. Even if our team deserves it.

15. More free pretzels. We’re still hungry, dammit!

16. And some soft-serve ice cream.

17. And no more Pepsi at arenas. Only Coke.

18. Our suggestions about not making Doc dumb down his calls for national audiences would be acted on, allowing Doc to reclaim his title of “Greatest Play-by-Play Man in All the Land”.

19. Slag-Faced Whores like Gomez, Drury and Smyth being required to wear “SFW” badges on their sweaters.

20. Or better yet, “SFW” brands on their faces.

21. Control over which players get highlighted in national campaigns. Say goodbye to Briere and Gomez and hello to national ads starring Jay Pandolfo and Travis Zajac!

22. Free tickets to the 2009 All-Star Game. Seriously. That would be really nice.

23. The opportunity to view interesting photos and videos on the Devils website that have nothing to do with the new arena.

24. Creative control over a weekly, half-hour television show featuring fluff pieces about NHLers off the ice.

25. Veto power over all future rule changes.

26. Veto power over all future logo changes.

27. Veto power over all past uniform changes. (andrew, we’ve got your back; we’ll get those Sharks unis fixed as soon as our demands are met.)

28. Our picture on the cover of The Hockey News with a headline reading: “Please God, Let These Excellent Bloggers See Their Team Win the Cup!”

29. Each of us being paid the mininum NHL salary. We’re working just as hard here as the lowliest fourth liner or seventh defenseman. Or at least, the fourth liner and seventh d-men on non-Sutter teams.

30. Our blog on every blogroll and mentioned in every Devils preview at the start of each season.

31. Mmmm free pretzels…

32. The ability to write off our cable, satellite and internet bills as “work related expenses”.

33. Our blog quoted by every other major media outlet (television, radio, newspaper, blog, etc.) at least three times a day. Five times a day during the season.

34. The knowledge that, when Mike Rupp says, “It’s good to have interchangeable parts,” he means us.

35. When we are fooled by a bad camera angle and think the puck has crossed the line, it counts as a goal.

36. When we end up riding in hotel elevators with NHL players, they will be as nervous about being in our presence as we are about being in theirs.

37. Every team is required to provide us with interesting player bio content that goes beyond just “[Player X's] favorite pregame meal is chicken and pasta”. We demand to know the recipe for this dish!

38. The Devils publishing their training camp practice times in advance

39. A spot on the Competition Committee

40. An IPB Irregulars couch in the War Room

41. Input on which stories will be beaten to death by the media during the playoffs.

42. The development of a television network for the Devils that is not owned by the Rangers.

43. Failing #41, full control of programming decisions at MSG, meaning we choose which team (Devils, Rangers, Islanders) will be on which channel (MSG, FSN, FSN2) on any given night.

44. A sincere letter of apology from anyone who said the Devils were boring in 2000-01

45. A sincere letter of apology from the 2000-01 Devils

46. Acceptance that life can be all about driving around blogging about stuff.

47. Being referred to by cool nicknames like “Kazoo”.

48. Free pretzels shaped like kazoos.

49. Permission to style players for their yearbook photos.

50. Permission to wear hockey sweaters not just in the press box and dressing rooms, but also to our day jobs and to social functions like weddings and funerals.

51. Permission to replace boring games on TV with feeds of us playing Katamari Damacy.

52. Executive producer credits on Hooters and McCracken, the weekly 70’s-era buddy-cop drama starring Eric Staal and Mike Commodore

53. Possession of 5 “mulligans” we can apply to any game, featuring any teams, at any point during the season, in the event that they really egregiously don’t go the way we want them to.

54. Abolition of the shootout.

55. A return to white sweaters at home and dark sweaters on the road.

56. No nights without hockey from October 1st to June 15.

57. Every team instituting Score-O in place of any intermission “entertainment” that involves giant sumo costumes, tricycles, or wind chambers filled with loose bills of varying denominations.

58. Final say in how hard the rest of the media is allowed to force stories on the public that strive to falsely rehabilitate the images of unusually doucherockety players.

59. A magnetic schedule for this coming season, even though we cannot attend opening night.

60. Access to a real-life “mute” button that can be applied to the non-hockey media whenever they decide to unfairly overemphasize the injurious hits in hockey.

61. The authority to levy fines against officials who make lousy calls that negatively impact the team we prefer in any given game.

62. Veto power over Devils healthy scratches (i.e. the ability to declare when Cam Janssen will not be in the lineup on any given night).

63. A pay-per-view option on all televised games wherein we can watch the game with open on-ice mics and no play-by-play announcers.

64. The option to watch all the games on Center Ice on any of the feeds broadcasting that game.

65. Full casting authority over new and improved intermission shows on VS and NBC.

66. Full veto authority over Brian Engblom’s hair.

67. More free pretzels

68. A league-wide multimedia library, where we can easily find all video features and radio interviews/podcasts produced by each team.

69. No Pierre McGuire. Ever. Anywhere.

70. Especially not “between the benches” or “inside the glass” or anywhere else where he can show off that he is “having conversations” with players.

71. A letter signed by every member of the hockey media admitting that the Devils are not the only team that plays the trap.

72. An outright, global ban on the publication of any sentence that uses the phrase “The Devils are killing hockey”.

73. Every televised NHL game being broadcast in HD on the satellite and/or cable service available to us.

74. The opportunity, every time a player on a team we like sucks so badly we are reduced to shouting in exasperation, “I will drive him to [far-away NHL franchise]“, to actually drive that player to that far-away NHL franchise.

75. The right to refuse to drive that player to that far-away NHL franchise if we were really only joking.

76. Recognition and acceptance of the fact that we are never serious, yet always taking ourselves far too seriously.

77. “The Good Old Hockey Game” and “I Want to Drive the Zamboni” played at all sporting events.

78. “Cotton-Eyed Joe” and “Blitzkreig Bop” played at no sporting events.

79. Jay Pandolfo’s face on American dollar bills

80. Sid Crosby’s caboose on Canadian dollar bills

81. If we’re not in the mood for pretzels, then fresh-popped popcorn instead.

82. The opportunity to host a mandatory seminar for all the higher-ups in the NHL’s league operations explaining that more goals does not always mean more excitement.

83. When we decide to stop blogging, a retirement ceremony at center ice of the Devils arena, in which we are presented with a poor quality painting of us writing our Reasons We Love Hockey series, a silver laptop and a golf cart.

84. An end to the East-Coast bias prattle

85. More players making appearances (either on television or in still photos) while wearing attractive glasses.

86. No outside events booked in NHL arenas during the playoffs

87. Access to a time machine so that we can go back to watching October hockey in May when the playoffs get too stressful to handle.

88. No fewer than three games to choose from on every night of the regular season. None of this “there’s only one game on tonight” crap! If a minimum of three games a night from October 1 until the first day of the playoffs isn’t mathematically possible, then the schedule will have to be adapted to make it happen.

89. A sincere letter of apology from anyone and everyone who ever said Curtis Joseph was a better goaltender than Marty Brodeur.

90. A sincere letter of apology from the person responsible for the unbalanced schedule, and a promise from the league to make up for the hours we spent watching more Rangers and Islanders games than any person should ever have to over the span of this failed experiment.

91. A re-vote on the 2003 Conn Smythe. And you all know why.

92. A re-vote on the 2007 Selke Trophy. And you all know why that one, too.

93. We’re not entirely sure we’ve gotten enough free pretzels, so some more of those, please!

94. An $800 million buyout offer from the NHL for IPB.

95. The right to be as serious or as frivolous as we wish, and living up to whatever standards we set for ourselves.

Posted in Bully Pulpit, Laffs, Peanut Gallery | 252 Comments

252 Responses

on October 10, 2007 at 9:23 pm Teka

Pssst….. I’m in on the press pass bandwagon-the Bears have agreed to let me in once in a while.

So yeah. Which of these 95 theses do you want me to work on first? And, do you have any questions you’re dying to have asked of a half-naked AHLer?
on October 10, 2007 at 9:29 pm zot

91. A re-vote on the 2003 Conn Smythe. And you all know why.

Not this again. :P Basically, you guys seem to prefer the Diet of Pretzels to the Diet of Worms.
on October 10, 2007 at 9:31 pm Sherry

55. A return to white sweaters at home and dark sweaters on the road.

Man, I thought I was the only one who wanted this!

And word to all 95 of these theses.

I’m in on the press pass bandwagon-the Bears have agreed to let me in once in a while.

Dang! How do I convince the Bulldogs to do the same for me. It’s just not same as the monthly e-mails from them telling me I’m “FANtastic”.
on October 10, 2007 at 9:34 pm Schnookie

Basically, you guys seem to prefer the Diet of Pretzels to the Diet of Worms.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::: Nicely done!
on October 10, 2007 at 9:36 pm Schnookie

Man, I thought I was the only one who wanted this!

At this point it’s not even an aesthetic thing for me — I am apparently really, honestly and irrevocably hardwired to think white = home and dark = road. How many years has it been switched? And I still only realize halfway through games on TV which building the game’s in? It’s a disaster, I tells ya!
on October 10, 2007 at 9:40 pm Amy

:::applause:::

These are brilliant (and hysterical!)

86. No outside events booked in NHL arenas during the playoffs

You mean Dora the Explorer shouldn’t have priority over NHL playoff hockey in an NHL arena? Surely you jest! ;)
on October 10, 2007 at 9:46 pm Earl Sleek

91. A re-vote on the 2003 Conn Smythe. And you all know why.

So you’d start the ‘94 season with Scott on his couch?

92. A re-vote on the 2007 Selke Trophy. And you all know why that one, too.

I think if you ran this now Sammy would win in a landslide.
on October 10, 2007 at 9:46 pm Amy

You could probably also add that you wouldn’t see hockey and references to Martin Luther in the same post on a “professional blog” either.
on October 10, 2007 at 9:47 pm Earl Sleek

‘94

Oops. I meant ‘04. McErlain’s going to kill me.
on October 10, 2007 at 9:56 pm Schnookie

So you’d start the ‘04 season with Scott on his couch?

Eh, considering how that season went, it probably wouldn’t have made a difference. (And like how I went in there and fixed the date in the quote? Just giving you a taste of what it’s like to have an editor…)
on October 10, 2007 at 10:04 pm MrFrisby

I have not even read #9 yet and my face and gut are already hurting from laughing. Oh, I can just picture the look on the Mavens face.
on October 10, 2007 at 10:05 pm Katebits

This. is. awesome.
on October 10, 2007 at 11:05 pm Genna

Hahaha, I love it! If 1 happens, can you find a replacement for Bettman, change it so goalies can wear the C, and have everyone drink the kool-aid?
on October 10, 2007 at 11:10 pm alix

Fucking Flyers! Oh sorry…this is absolutely fabulous by the way. IPB gets those edorphins going.
on October 10, 2007 at 11:16 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Excellent, excellent, EXCELLENT! Beautiful stuff.

17. And no more Pepsi at arenas. Only Coke.

This is a reason I love the Stars. I’d really have trouble if it was Pepsi at the AAC.
on October 10, 2007 at 11:21 pm Pookie

17. And no more Pepsi at arenas. Only Coke.

This is a reason I love the Stars. I’d really have trouble if it was Pepsi at the AAC.

I always thought Dr. Pepper was a Pepsi thing. Huh. Well, you learn something new every day. How awesome would it be if there was a Mr. Pibb Arena? I’d love that team sooo much.
on October 10, 2007 at 11:25 pm Genna

Bye bye Matvichuk

Ookies, have you seen that?
on October 10, 2007 at 11:29 pm Pookie

Bye bye Matvichuk

Ookies, have you seen that?

Yeah, we did see that (In Lou We Trust and 2MA both covered it so we figured we didn’t need too. Or something like that. Because that’s just the kind of blogging professionals we are!) and frankly, we’d both be a lot more surprised if we hadn’t seen him in that training camp practice we attended. He looked confused, slow and not particularly interested in learning what Larry had to teach him. We wish him the best! Something tells me the process of removing him from the team will not be easy. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to take him at his salary. Lou’s said he’s not going to waive him, but… Let’s just say I won’t be surprised if he shows up on Lowell’s LTIR tomorrow morning.
on October 10, 2007 at 11:34 pm Greg Wyshynski

Wait, I’m the catalyst for the hilarious list, and not one $#@!$% plug for my book in 95 different bullet points? Sheesh…

BTW, you might want to consider Pando on American bills. I like money that cashes in once in a while.

Oh, and I agree that the shootout should be abolished. It’s killing hockey. Like the Devils…
on October 10, 2007 at 11:34 pm alix

I HATE hockey!
on October 10, 2007 at 11:35 pm Genna

I agree with Lou’s comments, but I still think, to some extent, he is still valuable to our team until Whitey gets back.

Oh and I loved Sutter’s comments about the loss to Ottawa namely the one about only playing for 40 minutes. Didn’t he do his homework? Last season was all about not playing a full 60 minutes, except this season it’s us not showing up to the first.
on October 10, 2007 at 11:40 pm Schnookie

Oh, and I agree that the shootout should be abolished. It’s killing hockey. Like the Devils…

Enjoy being able to say stuff like that now, Greg — the time is drawing near that we’ll be influential enough to enact that global ban. (Oh, and thanks for the comment!)
on October 10, 2007 at 11:51 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Poor alix! So sorry. It’s early in the season!
on October 10, 2007 at 11:51 pm alix

Thank god we only see the Flyers like once every 5 years. I HATE them. We’re starting to look leafesque. That’s what I get for mocking the leafs. Karma’s a bitch.
on October 10, 2007 at 11:52 pm alix

Ha thanks Patty.
on October 10, 2007 at 11:54 pm Schnookie

alix, we’re watching the Pens/Habs game on tivo delay (it was Pookie’s late night on the reference desk) — what’s going on in your game? Other, of course, than the Canucks, um, not doing so well…
on October 10, 2007 at 11:56 pm alix

Am I allowed to stop watching? 6-2. I mean there’s still a period to go but I dunno…this blows. Where the hell is the d?!?!?!
on October 10, 2007 at 11:56 pm Patty (in Dallas)

I know andrew’s not around, but I mentioned that I was benching Vokoun in favor of Holmqvist. Turns out I’d make a good coach, since the Panthers benched him, too.
on October 10, 2007 at 11:57 pm Patty (in Dallas)

alix, if you had a period to go and were down 4-0, you might think there was a chance to come back, right?

It could still happen!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:03 am alix

Go coach Patty! And yes you’re right. I have to keep watching. AV might kick their asses in the intermission and they might come out flying. It’s just so painful!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:07 am Schnookie

alix, you have to keep watching, because how hard would you be kicking yourself tomorrow morning when you find out they staged a massive comeback!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:10 am alix

That’s a good point Schnookie. But now it’s 7-2. They’re kiiillling me!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:12 am Schnookie

The comeback is just going to be that much more historic, alix.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:14 am Heather B.

I’m down with a Pepsi ban at all arenas. If you agree to feature Tallinder and Lydman in a national ad campaign, I’m fully behind your plan for global domination.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:16 am Katebits

Great idea, Heather! I so want to see Toni and Hank’s ad campaign. Are you super excited about tomorrow?
on October 11, 2007 at 12:17 am Heather B.

Kate, I’m so pumped! I really just want to skip work and go straight to the arena!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:18 am alix

Thanks Schnookie! It’s just such a weird game. Luongo’s been pulled. Our D sucks. And our power play is actually working. Up is down and down is up. You’re right. I should think positive. It will be historic. AV is probably slapping babies behind the bench.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:19 am Katebits

I think they will win tomorrow. They just need you to get them started.

Sorry about your boys, alix! Schnookie’s right. You should stay up for the historic comeback!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:22 am Heather B.

Kate, I think you’re right. Clearly Hank and Toni were thrown by our absence at the home opener. How else to explain their performances? Tomorrow night they’ll feel calm and transcendent even if they’re not sure why.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:24 am Schnookie

I think we can make room for a Toni/Hank ad campaign, if you pick us up an extra Sabres magnetic schedule… :D

I don’t understand why arenas would serve Pepsi. I mean, don’t they realize it’s nasty, nasty swill? Don’t they realize Diet Pepsi doesn’t taste anything like Diet Coke? It is not a suitable substitute, people!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:26 am alix

Thanks Katebits. 20 minutes is a long time right? And it’s only October. 3 games in. No need to panic yet.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:28 am alix

Ewwww! Pepsi is nasty. I hate at resteraunts how they ask you is pepsi ok. No it’s not!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:28 am Heather B.

Schnookie, I’ll get right on that magnetic calendar. Toni and Hank will be so cute! They’ll be shocked you want them for your ads! “I think you guys want Ryan. He’s the stringy-haired kid over there.”
on October 11, 2007 at 12:29 am Heather B.

Also “Cotton-Eyed Joe”? SO with you. I don’t know where you came from Joe, but I’ll gladly tell you where you can go.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:33 am Schnookie

“I think you guys want Ryan. He’s the stringy-haired kid over there.”

Oh, I’ll already have Ryan. They won’t have to point him out.

alix, Pookie was just going off on a tired-from-the-late-shift rant about how much she hates when restaurants don’t even tell you they’re giving you Pepsi. I was all, “I’m pretty sure most restaurants do mention when they have Pepsi,” and she exploded, “NO! It’s like at that Mexican restaurant when they gave me a can of Pepsi. At least I could send that back…” I have no idea what she was talking about. There are not many Mexican restaurants around here, so I think she’s been hallucinating.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:33 am Schnookie

Oh, Pookie just clarified which Mexican restaurant she was talking about: “You know. The one I went to for that office lunch. The one where I ordered a steak and chicken fajita and was shocked to discover it had steak in it.” I don’t think that lunch was one of Pookie’s finer moments.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:34 am Schnookie

I don’t know where you came from Joe, but I’ll gladly tell you where you can go.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It’s early in the day, Heather, but that might be a tough one for anyone to top in the Quest For The TCTMSLOLTH Award.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:35 am Heather B.

alix, I don’t know. It is three games into the season. Clearly the Canucks are struggling. I think it’s time to trade Luongo because the team is done. Done!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:36 am alix

:^::::::::::: Not a good day for Pookie. But I’ve heard that they do sneak it by you sometimes.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:37 am Pookie

I don’t think that lunch was one of Pookie’s finer moments.

In my defense, I clearly ordered a Coke and the menu seemed like it meant steak or chicken fajita, so I clearly ordered a “CHICKEN fajita”. And further in my defense, when I got the fajita and discovered it’s steakly innards, I said, “Well, I don’t know what I was expecting…”
on October 11, 2007 at 12:38 am alix

Clearly we should just tank the season Heather and get those first draft picks. And yup. One bad game means Luongo has to go.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:38 am Heather B.

See, this is what Pepsi does to Coke drinkers, people! It’s not right!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:39 am Schnookie

Well, the comeback can begin now — we’ve got the ‘Nucks game on. Come on boys! You can do it!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:40 am Heather B.

I wish I was lying when I said one of the larger Sabres message boards currently has a very long thread entitled “IS RYAN MILLER OVERRATED??!!?!” in which people are complaining that he’s clearly going to have a terrible season and not ready to carry the team.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:41 am Katebits

Dude. When a waitperson doesn’t say “Is Pepsi okay?” when i order a Diet Coke, and then they bring me a diet pepsi without warning me, I take note.

No, Diet Pepsi is NOT okay. Thank you for asking.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:43 am Katebits

I wish I was lying when I said one of the larger Sabres message boards currently has a very long thread entitled “IS RYAN MILLER OVERRATED??!!?!” in which people are complaining that he’s clearly going to have a terrible season and not ready to carry the team.

Oh, Heather! Look away! They are all crazy! In a few weeks they will all be bitching that Darcy hasn’t locked Crunchy in for life yet.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:46 am Heather B.

Kate, for some reason the message boards don’t make me too irate. I’ve reached the point where I’m more entertained laughing at the fools. And I only read the read outrageous threads and I only wander over there occasionally.

Sports radio however pisses me off big time. I do not listen to it at all during the season – or much in the off-season – because it makes my blood boil. I don’t know what the difference is that one upsets me more than the other.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:46 am Schnookie

The with-no-warning Pepsi/Coke switcheroo is unconscionable.

Heather, there is no reason at all for you to be reading message boards! Seriously! Stop it! It’s only hurting you!!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:47 am alix

Oh god. Some ass hole Flyer just punched Kesler in the head with his stick. I’m just listening to it on the radio so I can’t see what’s happening. Apparantly he was knocked out. Poor Kez.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:48 am Schnookie

How bad was that play just now by Boulerice? Even the Flyers announcers are disgusted by it.

Oh, and Heather, you’re so right that sports radio is way worse than the message boards. I think it’s because you can clearly hear how stupid the people are, and tone doesn’t convey on the message boards…
on October 11, 2007 at 12:49 am Schnookie

alix, he didn’t punch him in the head with his stick so much as he tried to decapitate him with a cross-check. And seriously, even the Flyers announcers are disgusted.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:50 am Heather B.

Schnookie, the tone probably is the difference. On the radio it’s clear that, oh, they really DO think we should trade Crunchy, fire Lindy, and send Goose down even though he’d never clear waivers.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:50 am kristin

I have no idea why Boulerice would do that to Kesler. Totally unwarranted and not really helping after the whole Downie thing. Sheesh.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:50 am alix

Brutal Schnookie. What a little bitch. I’m so mad. I hate when shit like that goes down.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:52 am Katebits

I am SO in agreement about the talk radio being the worst. I often feel physically ill from the radio.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:52 am kristin

Yeah, the Flyers announcers seemed pretty much speechless. Sorry about that, alix!

And sorry about that last goal…
on October 11, 2007 at 12:53 am Schnookie

alix, it seems there is no justice in this world. I’m so, so sorry.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:53 am Katebits

Oh, poor Vancouver. Ouch. This is brutal.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:54 am Heather B.

I hate when shit like that goes down.

How long’s the penalty for attempted decapitation. Seriously, the Flyers’ announcers are disgusted —–> Not a good thing.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:56 am Patty (in Dallas)

“Is Pepsi okay?”

If I’m in a brave mood, when I ask for a Coke and they say is Pepsi okay, I say, “for what?”

But over the years, I’ve finally figured out what to say. When I order my drink I always say, “Do you have Coca Cola?” Then they’ll say yes, or no, or we have Pepsi.

I also like to pick fights in the drive-thru when they try to tell me I’m an idiot for not getting the combo of whatever I’m ordering. I like to get to the point where I can say, Look, I don’t drink Pepsi. I’d rather pay an extra twenty cents to order a la carte, than be forced to figure out how to dispose of the Pepsi. :D
on October 11, 2007 at 12:57 am alix

Fucking flyers(sorry Kristin) And thanks everybody. I think they’re just too shaken up about such a bad game and the hit and everything. Oh being a hockey fan. Such extreme highs and extreme lows.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:58 am Patty (in Dallas)

That Boulerice is a punk. I thought he retired.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:58 am Heather B.

Aww, crap, I just realized Briere scored tonight. I’m going to have to avoid one of my co-workers at all costs tomorrow.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:58 am Schnookie

Oh being a hockey fan. Such extreme highs and extreme lows.

But it makes the peaks and valleys of real life seem that much smoother by comparison, right? Right?

On that note, it’s time for stately IPB Manor to shut down for the night. See you all in the morning!
on October 11, 2007 at 1:00 am Schnookie

WTF? Stay klassy, Philadelphia. Wow. (Again the announcers sound embarrassed by their team. Bear in mind these are Flyers homers.)
on October 11, 2007 at 1:00 am alix

Oh lovely. Now a fucking brawl. Why would you bother knocking the goaltender when you’re up 8-3 and a minute left.
on October 11, 2007 at 1:01 am Heather B.

alix, because you’re Philly. That’s reason enough.
on October 11, 2007 at 1:03 am alix

Night ookies! And yeah good point Heather. Wow, I despise the flyers.
on October 11, 2007 at 1:09 am kristin

I am unfamiliar with this despise…last season was just so…sad…it’s nice to feel hatred instead of awkward pity…weird, but nice.
on October 11, 2007 at 1:14 am Heather B.

kristin, hee! Yeah, I guess I’d prefer to be hated rather than pitied. Congratulations, I guess! :-)
on October 11, 2007 at 1:25 am alix

Well I’m off to bed before I slit my wrists :P Good night Heather, Kristin. Anyone else who’s hanging around…
on October 11, 2007 at 8:37 am Amy

On the radio it’s clear that, oh, they really DO think we should trade Crunchy, fire Lindy, and send Goose down even though he’d never clear waivers.

If the Sabres lose tonight, I would bet very good money on the fact that tomorrow’s talk radio topic will be about how Miller shouldn’t have played, since he’s dealing with the loss of his cousin from leukemia (this is the “Matt Man” that Miller has on the back of his mask).

And that Boulerice hit was nasty. There’s no need for that in hockey at all.
on October 11, 2007 at 8:44 am Heather B.

Amy, I was just reading about Matt Man. So sad. I’m wondering if that is part of why Ryan has looked a little off. (Not that the wretched defense in front of him helped at all.)
on October 11, 2007 at 10:40 am Earl Sleek

Oh, so that’s why Drew Miller was in street clothes last night!
on October 11, 2007 at 10:44 am Morgan

Memo to Canucks fans:

I, the Fantasy Hockey Kiss o’Death, have a one Roberto Luongo on my roster. This week he has a GAA over 12. I deeply apologize for destroying Vancouver’s season.

Sincerely,

Morgan

GM Mmmm Kool-Aid.
on October 11, 2007 at 10:50 am Earl Sleek

Memo to Canucks fans:

Second memo to Canucks fans: if there’s any hope to be taken, it’s that last years Ducks also got creamed at home by the Flyers (7-3 if I recall), and it inspired a cup win.
on October 11, 2007 at 10:51 am Schnookie

I had been wondering about Luongo, but then realized he kind of had that stink of “being on Morgan’s fantasy team” all over him. Nice one!
on October 11, 2007 at 11:07 am Frisby

Well then, I guess it is a good thing that if somebody was going to steal Pronger off of the waiver wire from me, that it was Morgan.
on October 11, 2007 at 11:17 am Schnookie

Second memo to Canucks fans: if there’s any hope to be taken, it’s that last years Ducks also got creamed at home by the Flyers (7-3 if I recall), and it inspired a cup win.

Furthermore, last year’s Ducks were beaten hugely by a regular-old Flyers team. The Canucks were beaten hugely by a Lego-fueled Flyers team — who could possibly expect to get a win in the face of that? I’m fairly confident the Canucks are going to find themselves winners of a Lego Stanley Cup in June.
on October 11, 2007 at 11:23 am Josh

Dearest -Ookies,

My quest for obtain a magnetic schedule for adornment in Stately IPB Manor has ended before it has even begun. For the Devils announced their promotional schedule, and they will be giving out magnetic schedules not at the first, third, or fourth games of the year, but at the second, which falls on Halloween. And if there’s one thing I love equally to hockey, it’s Halloween, and I will not be in attendance that evening. I regret the inconvience the Devils promotional calendar has caused and hope that perhaps someone who is not such a Halloweenie can take up the task of obtaining a Devils Magnetic Schedule for adornment in Stately IPB Manor.

Warmest Regards,

Josh
on October 11, 2007 at 11:27 am andrew

What’s up, Kazoos?

I saw this one, and it got me all choked up:

“27. Veto power over all past uniform changes. (andrew, we’ve got your back; we’ll get those Sharks unis fixed as soon as our demands are met.)”

Make it so!
on October 11, 2007 at 11:28 am Schnookie

Aw, Josh, thanks so much for the magnetic schedule update! And a million thanks for your valiant efforts. I wholeheartedly support your prioritization of Halloween over hockey (while it’s not the choice I would make, I’m the one who chooses to watch America’s Next Top Model on tivo delay on Wednesday nights before starting whatever hockey I tivoed that night. I mean, hockey comes before most things, but certainly not all things!), and will remain hopeful that someone out there in the interwebs has noted our pleas and will find a way to get us a magnetic schedule. And seriously, what is wrong with the Devils that they’re not handing them out at the first game? What, are they giving away some dumb “arena opening” gewgaw? (I still have my commemorative coin from the ‘96 World Cup of Hockey inaugural event at the FU/Wachovia/Corestate Center.)

If we end up without a magnetic schedulue, all is not lost. We were watching the Pens game last night and discovered we’re going to be there next week for schedule mousepad night. That’s AWESOME!
on October 11, 2007 at 11:32 am Schnookie

What’s up, Kazoos?

Woo hoo! Check one off the list! Only 94 Theses to go!

I’m glad you liked our promise to rid the world of the new Sharks unis. I feel like that’s a platform that should make us pretty popular, sort of counteracting some of more unpopular choices like the Devils winning the Cup every year. But it’s a fair trade-off, right?
on October 11, 2007 at 11:36 am Josh

What, are they giving away some dumb “arena opening” gewgaw?

They indeed are. Some kind of limited-edition (limited to say 17,435 or so?) Prudential Center “print”. Whatever, it’s free, I’ll take it. Me likes the free things.
on October 11, 2007 at 11:37 am andrew

“…sort of counteracting some of more unpopular choices like the Devils winning the Cup every year. But it’s a fair trade-off, right?”

Oh yeah!! Totally fair. seesh…

BTW, I found out during the broadcast that opening night (Saturday) is none other than magnetic schedule night. Tracie and I will be there!!! Woo Hoo!
on October 11, 2007 at 11:38 am Stalky

I have made my observations.
I have tabulated the results.
I will now grandstand on this comment thread about the BATTLE OF K/CRAZY-BURG between the Isles and the Rangers!

Let me start by saying this: I love watching games at home: comfortable; no need to ford across Urine Lake in a public restroom; the fat-stick close at hand so I can still keep up with Cavemen or Cribs or whatever and no 7.25$ USD beers.

That said, there’s nothing like the visceral excitement a live game gives you, anywhere. No announcers, no Screechy McGuire’s, just the camaraderie of your fellow fans and really dry pretzels left over from The Wiggles or arena football.
I’ve been to games in livestock arenas (Austin, TX); casino ice rinks (Las Vegas, NV) and concrete behemoths (Great Wetern Forum Vancouver, BC). Each one is unique and carried the excitement of live hockey. That said, lemme begin this in the Nassau Vets Coliseum parking lot:
I got out of my truck having heard the lineups announced to the background music of Sabbath’s “Paranoid”; a thirty second Bloomberg update that would have taken other news radio 5 minutes to roll through and the play in of Van Halen’s “Running w/ the Devil”. So far krazy scores four ketchups to none (thank you Ozzy, DLR and Mayor Bloomberg).

PARKING LOT: Beer in bootles and on asphalt, half consumed white wine bottles (plural, as in two in different parts of the lot) and lots of shouting. Mostly good natured by the orange and blue supporters. Ranger fans mostly swearing and issuing random threats of beatings and penetrations.
SCORE- Krazy: Fast Times at Ridgemont High; Crazy: River’s Edge.

LINEUPS: The Isles have one scoring line and four checking lines. Guerin, Comrie and Fedetenko look pretty good very early in the season. And I think they need to be, esp since your next line is Sillinger, Hunter and New-guy-who-won-radio-contest-to-skate-with-the-Isles-tonight. I will say that those also-rans played like bastards last night, esp Park, Vasic-something. The Rangers have the names and the talent for three legit scoring lines.
SCORE- Krazy: bikini model with Abe Lincoln head; Crazy: Rangers line-up (crazy is allowed moments of lucidity).

ON ICE: The Islanders did everything well enough. Their PP scored once (the one-eyed Berard signing looks genius now) and Bergeron’s 3v3 goal was a bullet that Hank never had a chance on and never saw. I know DP is always thrown up as the magic man, but the Isle’s PK (esp w/ Silli and Hunter) did everything right. The Rick gave up rebounds like he was taunting the Rangers. His defense spent the time sweeping up all those crumbs and still won. Amazing. The fact that Gomez choked twice in front of net was really really special. Really
SCORE- Krazy: Gwar; Crazy: GG Allin.

FANS: This is a division rivalry as well as territorial. That said, the Isles were out-shouted with the traditional “Let’s Go Ran-juhs!” during several lulls. But the Isles fans won me over with their rendition of the Chicken Dance. The song begins and everyone (really everyone) stands. Song plays: Duh-du-dudda-duh-du-dut, Duh-du-dudda-duh-du-dut, Duh-du-dudda-duh-du-dut (Vox in unison): “THE RAN-JUH’s SUCK!” Everyone cheers, the song continues, the second time louder than the first: “THE RAN-JUH’S SUCK!”. A third time, the same. Pure Nassau magic!
SCORE: Krazy: bus station nut; Crazy: Subway car nut (the only arguable tie of the night, edge Isles/ Krazy).

FINAL SCORE: KRAZY WINS! THE KRAAAAAAAAAAAAZY WINS!!!!! But only by an eleventy two-th of a percentage point, pribably due entirely to the wine bottles and Gomez’ performance. (Thanks for this last krazy numbering system from either Heather B or K-bizz-its)
on October 11, 2007 at 11:41 am Schnookie

Whatever, it’s free, I’ll take it. Me likes the free things.

It totally doesn’t matter to me what they’re giving away — I love them all. Just this weekend I was shoveling fresh litter into our cats’ litter boxes and realized the tool I was using to scoop the stuff out of the gazillion-pound container was none other than the free Devils logoed “beer mug” they gave out on St. Patrick’s Day a year or two before the lockout. (If by “mug” they meant “plastic pint glass”, then I have no problem with how they chose to describe this particular promotional item.) How fantastic that I have a Devils-branded kitty litter scooper, and I didn’t have to pay a dime for it!

andrew, I am both thrilled for your good fortune to be attending magnetic schedule night and also bitterly jealous. If you get an extra one, send it our way and we’ll put it on the fridge and say every time we walk past it, “If you stare at that hard enough you might see it turn into a Devils schedule.”
on October 11, 2007 at 11:47 am Schnookie

*Standing ovation*

Stalky, that was beautiful! I have been struck speechless.

(You especially brought a tear with your rendition of the “THE RANGERS SUCK!” chicken dance thing. The greatest version of that that you can ever hear is when the Devils are on the Island. The two fanbases will sit there in the dank arena, bored of each other and how surprisingly uninteresting their geographic rivalry is, and then suddenly the Chicken Dance starts up and everyone is screaming it. Aw man, but I love hating the Rangers sometimes…)
on October 11, 2007 at 11:49 am andrew

“SCORE- Krazy: Gwar; Crazy: GG Allin.”

I dunno, Stalky. GG Allin was one seriously Krazy, messed up dude. Gwar is just awesome, Allin was actually dangerous.

“17. And no more Pepsi at arenas. Only Coke.”

Wait, wait, wait….you’re telling me they actually serve soft drinks at hockey games? and people drink them?!?! What the hell!!?? Won’t someone think of the beer?!
on October 11, 2007 at 11:50 am Schnookie

Wait, wait, wait….you’re telling me they actually serve soft drinks at hockey games? and people drink them?!?! What the hell!!?? Won’t someone think of the beer?!

I had a feeling that one would come as a shock to you, andrew.
on October 11, 2007 at 11:57 am andrew

“andrew, I am both thrilled for your good fortune to be attending magnetic schedule night and also bitterly jealous. If you get an extra one, send it our way…”

Will do! But somehow I doubt the electric-teal-ninja-shark will every look like a NJ Devils logo, no matter how hard you stare.

And holy shit!!! I am so excited!!! Not only is it the home opener, but also, we’re staying with a friend in SF and taking BART to the arena…so no paying for parking, we can both get shitty because there’s no driving, and we get a place to drink after the game. AAAANNND, there’s a big ass Octoberfest celebration going on in SF on Sunday!! So we get to wake up to steins of beer and various grilled meats on sticks. How’s that for a slice of fried gold?!
on October 11, 2007 at 11:57 am Stalky

Yeah, GG was dangerous, but his Jabber’s stuff is really kick ass.
I think I used the krazy v. crazy definitions from the other day’s discussion. Krazy being more playful and entertaining and crazy having the capability to be confusing and maddening. Gwar is some of the best theatre and punk art I can think of. The GG reference was not meant to invoke his threats of violence to his crowds but more like a sad “I can’t really believe it” type of crazy. And I felt the Rangers have something of that in their obvious on ice failures right now. And the Isles, esp w/ DP flopping around the crease are theatre of the absurd in my eyes.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:01 pm Schnookie

andrew, there are times where it seems to me that you’re living a charmed life.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:05 pm andrew

“andrew, there are times where it seems to me that you’re living a charmed life.”

Don’t worry Schnookie, in between my fun weekends are the mind numbing civil service job and the backbreaking manual labor of landscaping my backyard. I just try to focus on the high points, otherwise I might cry.

“Krazy being more playful and entertaining and crazy having the capability to be confusing and maddening.”

Ahh, makes sense. I was thinking of Krazy as in a notch above crazy, like going way up into the Krazysphere. Seriously though, Gwar is so much fun, I love those guys.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:08 pm Pookie

Stalky, that was beautiful! The Isles are like the textbook definition of theater of the absurd. My mind just wandered to Beckett, which led me to “Krapps’s Last Tape”, which led me to bananas, which, of course, lead me to Pretty Ricky licking banana cream pie off his mask. See, proof right there the Islanders are indeed Krazy.

andrew, you’re living under a lucky star, my friend. Enjoy the game, the drinks, the meat and especially, the magnetic schedule.

Speaking of magnetic schedules, thanks Josh, for thinking of us anyway. I appreicate it. I saw on the Penguins site that they were giving away schedule mousepads and thought, “Cook!” So imagine my delight when I saw I’d be getting my little mitts on one! Woo-hoo!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:16 pm Schnookie

On a vaguely related aside, to any of our Buffalonians who might be reading right now, there isn’t any chance we’re getting cook free shit at the Leafs and/or Jackets games next week, are we? (I mean, other than the bacchanal of free luxury items we’ll be getting from the Harbour Club.)
on October 11, 2007 at 12:17 pm Stalky

Gwar=always a good show.
Next Friday duirng CMJ music week, The Dirtbombs are playing in Brooklyn and I’m probably going to go, esp as I missed The Armitage Shanks two weeks back.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:34 pm andrew

“Next Friday duirng CMJ music week, The Dirtbombs are playing in Brooklyn and I’m probably going to go…”

Should be a good show. They seem like such a fun band.

“Enjoy the game, the drinks, the meat and especially, the magnetic schedule.”

Oh, don’t you worry…the magnetic schedule will be rocking the front of the fridge. All season long!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:37 pm Schnookie

Oh, don’t you worry…the magnetic schedule will be rocking the front of the fridge. All season long!

*collapses in tears*

*slowly pulls self together*

*wipes snot away with the back of hand while attempting to convey a semblance of self respect*

That’s okay. I didn’t want one anyway. I mean, I’m going to be mousing over the Pens schedule all season long. And that’s good too, right?
on October 11, 2007 at 12:38 pm Katebits

On a vaguely related aside, to any of our Buffalonians who might be reading right now, there isn’t any chance we’re getting cook free shit at the Leafs and/or Jackets games next week, are we?

I don’t know how to find out if we will be receiving free shit. Now I’m all curious. And I really want a magnetic schedule.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:40 pm Schnookie

I don’t know how to find out if we will be receiving free shit.

I guess it will just have to a wonderful surprise. I hope the minks they hand out at the Harbour Club are dyed Sabres colors. Or better yet, that they’re not minks at all, but are made out of genuine Buffaslug pelts!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:41 pm Pookie

I’m going to get some heavy duty magnets and stick both the Pens mouse-pad and the Buffaslug pelt to the fridge. And it’ll blow the pants of a boring old magnetic schedule which I never wanted in the first place! Oh yes, it will!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:42 pm Katebits

Oh, I already have my Buffaslug skin jumpsuit back from the dry cleaners! I’m ready to go!

Buffalslug pelts are what they mean by “business casual” in the Harbour Club.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:42 pm andrew

“That’s okay. I didn’t want one anyway. I mean, I’m going to be mousing over the Pens schedule all season long. And that’s good too, right?”

Okay, okay…if they give one to each of us, and I don’t lose one or both of them in a drunken stupor, I’ll send you one.

BUT! You have to promise to root for the Sharks, and maybe send me a Sabres magnetic calendar if you guys get one.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:43 pm Katebits

*wringing hands nervously* I really want some free Sabres swag now. I don’t care at all what it is.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:46 pm Schnookie

andrew, you know we’ll share whatever we get from the Sabres with you! And as for rooting for the Sharks, we’ve been trying. They just keep losing when we’re watching! :P

So if I need to be in my business casual buffaslug pelts to get into the Harbour Club, but can’t get a buffaslug pelt until I’m let in and am handed my free swag, how am I going to get access to the Harbour Club?
on October 11, 2007 at 12:48 pm andrew

“And as for rooting for the Sharks, we’ve been trying. They just keep losing when we’re watching!”

True, but so do the Sabres, Devils, and Penguins. Crap! Is anyone winning? I swear to god, I am not rooting for the Crapitals this year.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:50 pm Nadine

Dear sisters Ookie,

Thank you for such an eloquent piece. (And as a good Pennsylvania Dutch Brethren girl, I’m totally with you on the pretzels, Coke, and more pretzels bit.)

Lots of love from a HLOG sister,

Nadine

PS to alix: I join Kristin in expressing the condolences with regard to Boulerice. I’ll be sure to rip him a new one on my blog, like I did with he-who-shall-not-be-named-ever-again-in-my-presence.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:51 pm Katebits

So if I need to be in my business casual buffaslug pelts to get into the Harbour Club, but can’t get a buffaslug pelt until I’m let in and am handed my free swag, how am I going to get access to the Harbour Club?

This is how they keep the riff-raff out. The Harbour Club doesn’t look kindly on first generation buffalslug pelt owners. If your pelt hasn’t been handed down generation to generation, you’re not welcome in the Club.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:55 pm Earl Sleek

Crap! Is anyone winning?

Cue Sherry anytime she wants to brag. On the Ottawa telecast yesterday, I found out not only are the Sens 5-0 to start the year, but apparently they went 7-0 in the preseason as well.

How nice of them not to bring their “A” game to the SCF.
on October 11, 2007 at 12:55 pm Pookie

Nadine, glad you liked the 95 Theses! Thanks to having a guy like Cam Janssen on my team, I can somewhat understand how it feels to be stuck with a Boulerice after an incident like last night’s. I’m so sorry!
on October 11, 2007 at 12:58 pm andrew

“How nice of them not to bring their “A” game to the SCF.”

Seriously! You dodged a bullet there, Earl!

Are you gonna go to the game when they come into Anaheim this year?
on October 11, 2007 at 12:59 pm Schnookie

I swear to god, I am not rooting for the Crapitals this year.

It’s looking increasingly like I’m not going to either. But don’t tell CapsChick, okay?

Nadine, it’s great to hear from you! And when we begin reaping the IPB whirlwind and have more pretzels than we can eat, we’ll be sure to share them with you!

Katebits, I am very troubled by the Harbour Club’s elitism and snobbery. I will not abide this discrimination, and I will take this to the Supreme Court if I have to. Dammit, I will be permitted access to the Harbour Club and all the gold-flecked $500 martinis I can drink!
on October 11, 2007 at 1:00 pm Amy

I don’t know how to find out if we will be receiving free shit. Now I’m all curious. And I really want a magnetic schedule.

I’m not sure what game y’all are going to (and I’m totally jealous about you going to the fancy-schmancy Harbour Club), but I did recall reading that the Sabres-Cbus game is the Sabres Hockey Fights Cancer night, so I wonder if there is going to be some swag associated with that?

Probably the only way you could find out would be to call the Sabres themselves.
on October 11, 2007 at 1:00 pm Schnookie

How nice of them not to bring their “A” game to the SCF.

I think it’s less that they’re bringing their “A” game every night now and more that everyone else in the East is bringing their “D” games or worse.
on October 11, 2007 at 1:01 pm Schnookie

Probably the only way you could find out would be to call the Sabres themselves.

CALL the Sabres??? But this is the age of the interwebs! I shouldn’t ever have to interact with a human being to find stuff out!
on October 11, 2007 at 1:02 pm Earl Sleek

Are you gonna go to the game when they come into Anaheim this year?

Actually, kind of by default, I am! I got seven games for our mini-group (of which I get three) and told my dad and his friend I was taking the Sharks game and the Kings game, but they could choose what they wanted out of the other five and leave me the last game.

So out of the choices of VAN x2, MIN, COL, and OTT, I got left with the Ottawa rematch. Should be a blast!

BTW, the interview with Scott & Teemu yesterday was brilliant. Ten minutes and not one single thing revealed (except neither has been skating).
on October 11, 2007 at 1:03 pm alix

Thanks Nadine. That’s sweet. That makes me feel better hearing about the Ducks. Well maybe it was good to hit rock bottom so early in the year…

Ahhh so Luongo is all because of Morgan! Damn you Morgan. (not really) I think his knee is bugging him more than he is letting on. So, I’m guessing everyone else had a better game to watch last night than I did?
on October 11, 2007 at 1:05 pm andrew

‘BTW, the interview with Scott & Teemu yesterday was brilliant. Ten minutes and not one single thing revealed (except neither has been skating).”

Yeah, I watched that with my finger on the proverbial Yahoo fantasy hockey trigger. What do we get? Squat!

That will be a fun game, lots of penalty box harassment, I’m sure.
on October 11, 2007 at 1:06 pm Amy

CALL the Sabres??? But this is the age of the interwebs! I shouldn’t ever have to interact with a human being to find stuff out!

I know! [/end Monica Gellar]. But for whatever reason, the Sabres don’t feel the need to share their promos with the public until they happen; unlike every other professional sports team out there.
on October 11, 2007 at 1:09 pm Schnookie

But for whatever reason, the Sabres don’t feel the need to share their promos with the public until they happen; unlike every other professional sports team out there.

Yeah, you know you’re being overly obtuse with your PR if even the Devils are capable of publicizing things better than you do.
on October 11, 2007 at 1:11 pm Katebits

Katebits, I am very troubled by the Harbour Club’s elitism and snobbery. I will not abide this discrimination, and I will take this to the Supreme Court if I have to. Dammit, I will be permitted access to the Harbour Club and all the gold-flecked $500 martinis I can drink!

Well, they are going to let you in Schnookie, but you’ll have to sit in a separate section called the “New Pelt Box”. You’ll get to go into the Harbour Club, but you won’t get to speak or ask questions. It’s just an experiment the Sabres are trying. The whole thing is sponsored by Eklund though, so you should keep that in mind. If you behave yourself, and act like a real Harbour Clubian over a prolonged period of time, the FanHouse will take a vote and decide if you can leave the New Pelt Box.
on October 11, 2007 at 1:15 pm Genna

I HAVE CABLE! I HAVE CENTER ICE! I AM IN STATE OF TOTAL POMMERDOODLOCITY!

Okay, that’s enough of things in caps. Seriously though, what better way to cheer up a person that’s working on less than 2 hours of sleep and is stuck in gray cold icky rainy weather? Other than skipping my last two classes of the day to stay in bed and watch TV and possible take an extreme nap. After that, I’m waking up around maybe 5ish to prepare a nice-ish dinner and watching the Devils game. And I got the representative from TWC to give me the early bird special even though it ended on Tuesday. He didn’t want to at first, but I guess he talked to someone higher up and he said that they would do it.

I asked about the NHL Network and they said that they are still working out a deal and he’s not sure when they will get it. So, CNY is out of the picture for that at least for now even though they supposedly worked out a deal with TWC. That was kind of a bummer, but CI is the most important thing. The cable guy did mess up my bed by taking two posts of the risers and not fixing them, but I think I’m okay with that considering what I got.

Oh, and any of you Buffalonians (I’m not sure what the proper term is) or anyone else near(ish) to Ithaca, Broken Social Scene and Yo La Tengo are coming to play at Cornell if anyone is interested. It’s Sunday November 11th and if people want more information I can look it back up to give it out.
on October 11, 2007 at 1:16 pm Schnookie

I take it I should even think of wearing anything that reveals a Devils leaning when I’m in the New Pelt Box, right? (And while I’m in there, sure I won’t speak or ask questions, but can I at least drink the gold-flecked $500 martinis?)
on October 11, 2007 at 1:18 pm Schnookie

Congrats on getting the cable and Center Ice, Genna! What happy, happy news!
on October 11, 2007 at 1:20 pm Katebits

Oh, God LORD. I’m so glad this came up before the game! DO NOT MENTION THE DEVILS IN THE HARBOUR CLUB! Sheesh. Yes, you can have a gold-flecked $500 martini, but only after Bucky Gleason has had his fill.
on October 11, 2007 at 1:26 pm Schnookie

Yes, you can have a gold-flecked $500 martini, but only after Bucky Gleason has had his fill.

Dammit! Well, I guess that means no gold-flecked $500 martinis for the rest of us. I mean, dude clearly has a serious drinking problem. (Yeah, I said it! Because that’s the kind of responsible blogger I am!)
on October 11, 2007 at 1:26 pm Sherry

Cue Sherry anytime she wants to brag.

Come on now, you know I don’t brag!

And suuuurre, I’m not around and you guys start picking on the Senators! (Actually you guys pick on them when I’m here anyways so maybe this is a moot point).
on October 11, 2007 at 1:27 pm Genna

Thanks Schnookie! I’m bummed that they aren’t giving out the magnetic calendars on opening night because I’m planning a trip home to go the opener with my brother (who is planning a trip up to see it with me) and I was going to grab one for you. I hope that is still in the works because my brother hasn’t brought it up in a bit, hmm.

As much excitement I have, I am so incredibly pooped. I have no energy to bullshit this reaction paper that’s due at 2:35. I really hate these damn things, but it is an easy grade. After I finish this thing, I think I might play around with my DVR. I love the quality of HDTV and wish I had a gigundo TV that took up my whole room to watch hockey on.

Have you seen the videos of the NHL store? Sorry, it’s actually NHL powered by RBK (ew). It looks kind of snazzy and I kind of want to go. It’s opening tomorrow and I think I might want to visit it when I come home either next weekend or the weekend of the home opener. More importantly, they have big banners hanging of known/skilled players and surprisingly they have one feature our own Marty. I the other ones I saw were Crosby, Ovechkin and Thorton (I think it was him). I’m not sure if they have any others, but I was just excited they had Marty there.
on October 11, 2007 at 1:28 pm andrew

“Yes, you can have a gold-flecked $500 martini, but only after Bucky Gleason has had his fill.”

Don’t worry Schnookie, Bucky actually tends to go light on the gold martinis. Unfortunately, if you’re caught even eyeballing the crack rock platter, he will go nuts. Not even worth it…
on October 11, 2007 at 1:32 pm Schnookie

Unfortunately, if you’re caught even eyeballing the crack rock platter, he will go nuts. Not even worth it…

Okay, there’s the Comment That Made Schnookie Laugh Out Loud The Hardest. Ouch.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:06 pm andrew

Crack kills….threads.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:08 pm Schnookie

It’s always so sad when our threads get reduced to being PSAs.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:11 pm Pookie

Friends don’t let friends read Bucky or Bucci.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:12 pm Amy

It took me a minute to figure out that you were talking about crack, and not rocks that were cracked.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:14 pm andrew

So I’ve started a lengthy project. I mentioned a while back that I’m taking my brother to his first ever hockey game. He’s trying to decide on a team to root for, and when he mentioned the Kings I almost slapped him. Now, I am helping him through this trying time by narrowing down his choices.

I sent the first e-mail in the series last week. The list of teams (along with reasons) that he is not allowed to support, now matter what….no excuses, whatsoever. It’s working well so far…
on October 11, 2007 at 2:15 pm Amy

And Bucci has a new e-mail column up. The first question’s about Drury, so keep your vomit bags handy.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:15 pm Earl Sleek

So, anyone want to give me some advice?

After some thought last night, now I’m leaning towards declining the AOL invite. My roommate put it in some good perspective, saying I’ve found a good niche at BoC and why compromise it for some underwhelming dollars? It’s like selling out without the payoff.

I’m inclined to agree in one sense–I don’t know if I’ve got more time to blog, so a post at AOL probably means one less post (or one lesser post) at BoC.

Am I being too screwy here? I’m supposed to give an answer tomorrow, so I’ve sort of got to figure it out today. Thoughts?
on October 11, 2007 at 2:21 pm Pookie

Your roommate makes a good point, Earl. I suppose the issue lies with where you want blogging to take you. It seems to me the advantage to joining the AOL group would be to get more recognition and exposure, but as we’ve seen, BoC is already the 4th most influential blog out there! Seriously though, you’ve already got a pretty solid presence in the online hockey community. Do you have aspirations to turn that into something bigger? Or are you happy with where you are now? Is BoC something that you do for fun and you don’t want to have how you approach it dictated by obligations to another blog? Is Fanhouse something that can compliment your work at BoC in a way that expands your blogging experience in new and exciting ways?
on October 11, 2007 at 2:22 pm Schnookie

andrew, that sounds like such a fun project! With your guidance, what teams have been winnowed out so far?

Earl, I really don’t know what to say. On the one hand, being involved in the AOL thing seems like a pretty nice feather in your cap. But on the other hand, if you haven’t got the time to expand your blogging empire, it probably isn’t worth compromising the quality of BoC. If I was in your shoes I would probably — correction, definitely — jump at this chance, but then I’d probably end up regretting it hugely.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:22 pm andrew

“And Bucci has a new e-mail column up. The first question’s about Drury, so keep your vomit bags handy.”

and the third question is about Podein. Bucci’s answer is the story about the time they shared a bed in a totally non gay way. Wow.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:26 pm Schnookie

and the third question is about Podein. Bucci’s answer is the story about the time they shared a bed in a totally non gay way. Wow.

I thought you were joking! I just… just… *sigh*
on October 11, 2007 at 2:27 pm Earl Sleek

Do you have aspirations to turn that into something bigger? Or are you happy with where you are now?

I’m pretty happy with what we got now. I mean, at some point we might get a little more ambitious, but there’s no real urgency towards that right now.

Is BoC something that you do for fun and you don’t want to have how you approach it dictated by obligations to another blog? Is Fanhouse something that can complement your work at BoC in a way that expands your blogging experience in new and exciting ways?

I guess the main thing here is that I’m very happy writing Duck or Cali-based posts, but I don’t have that much to add outside of that arena. The expanded scope of AOL (what? I can’t do 15 Duck posts in a row?) is a bit scary, as well as its professional-ish tone. I’m also a bit worried that if I have a good post idea, where should it get posted?

I guess I just think there are probably better-suited people who would enjoy the AOL spot more, whereas I’d probably resent it soon.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:29 pm andrew

Earl, I really don’t know what to tell ya. Besides that fact that I’m not a blogger and have no right to tell a blogger how and where to blog, I think that the decision should be one that you’re happy with in the end. I know that is no help whatsoever.

If you do it. Tell them that the rest of the BoC team has to come with you. F-bombs and all.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:32 pm Schnookie

The expanded scope of AOL (what? I can’t do 15 Duck posts in a row?) is a bit scary

Wait, so they would be asking the preeminent Ducks blogger to come aboard as a blogger-about-town? Seriously? What other kinds of stuff would they be expecting you to write about?
on October 11, 2007 at 2:36 pm andrew

“andrew, that sounds like such a fun project! With your guidance, what teams have been winnowed out so far?”

It is fun! I get to shove my biases and hatred onto to my unsuspecting, barely-a-sports-fan brother! He’ll never know what hit him!

Here’s the e-mail I sent him (Disclaimer: I love all of my IPB brethren regardless of team affiliation. This e-mail transcript is in no way intelligent or witty and thusly should be taken with a huge-ass grain of salt, unless you hate these teams too.):

Hey Mike,

So you want to have a team picked out by February, huh? Well, I’m going to break it down for you, just to make sure you don’t pick the wrong team and look like a fool! So, there’s 30 teams…over the next few e-mails your choices will be narrowed down. We’ll get you a good one. Don’t you worry.

Today, I am just going to cancel out teams that you MUST not pick. No questions asked.

Anaheim Ducks – Reigning NHL champs. Bunch of asshole goons and criminals. They are a huge rival for the Sharks. Plus, Orange County is gay…no one roots for the Angels either.

Dallas Stars – Perrenial playoff contender, although they’re probably going to struggle this year. They have no offense and are completely boring to watch. Plus, another huge rival for the Sharks. And really? Texas? Texas sucks. No effing way.

Detroit Red Wings – The Yankees of Hockey. Every half-assed band wagon hockey fan owns a redwings shirt/hat/whatever. Picking these guys as a favorite team is like holding up a sign that says “I like the most popular team right now”. Lame.

L.A. Kings – 41 years as a hockey team and nothing to show for it. Consistantly place in the bottom of the Western Conference. Big Sharks rival. If you pick this team I will have to tell people you were adopted.

N.Y. Rangers – The other Yankees of Hockey. Spent the last decade paying aging superstars ginormous sums of money to come and spend their twilight years on a crappy team with no chemistry. Hilariously, they keep trying to buy a championship, but are too inept, and usually miss the playoffs all together. Also, their fans are widely regarded as “stupid”.

Philadelphia Flyers – Bunch of Santa hating, cheesesteak eating morons. 2nd worst fans in the league (they’re like Raiders fans). The entire organization has a history of goonery and general assholishness from top to bottom. Big time, old-school Sabres rival.

Ottawa Senators – Even Canadians hate these guys, and we all know Canadians are too polite to hate anyone. That tells you something. They’re a great team (Eastern Conf. Champs last year), but they’re too big of a rival to the Sabres. Plus, seriously, Canadians won’t even back them. Yikes.

Toronto Maple Leafs – 40 years since they last won the cup and yet they still have the most arrogant fan base in the NHL. Wost. fans. ever. They are o.k. as a team. Middle of the pack. But they’re the biggest Sabres rival out there, and rooting for them is the Canadian equivalent of rooting for the Red Wings. You just don’t do it.

That concludes our “teams you had better not cheer for” lesson. 8 teams, that leaves us with 22 to go. Don’t worry man, I know it’s a lot of work. In fact, I doubt you’ve even read this far. But bear with me and we’ll get you a good favorite.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:36 pm Pookie

If you do it. Tell them that the rest of the BoC team has to come with you. F-bombs and all.

Fuck yeah! Ru-dy! Ru-dy! Ru-dy!
on October 11, 2007 at 2:38 pm Earl Sleek

What other kinds of stuff would they be expecting you to write about?

Well, it would all be western-conference based, and whatever I want, I guess. It’s not so bad on that front–95% of my hockey-watching is western-conference.

But I dunno, I never feel like I have that much to say about non-BoC teams. I just want them all to lose in regulation.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:43 pm Pookie

andrew, that’s a great list! Do we all get a chance to send your brother emails pleading the case for our teams? I mean, surely you’ll encourage him to be a Devils fan, since there are no bandwagony issues there, right?
on October 11, 2007 at 2:45 pm Schnookie

But I dunno, I never feel like I have that much to say about non-BoC teams. I just want them all to lose in regulation.

I can see how that would be. I’m rapidly losing my ability to care about non-Atlantic Division teams, and even of those, I’m like, “Really? The Islanders? Her?” And also kind of the Flyers, too. Hm. My scope is becoming dangerously narrow… But I digress. It sounds like the AOL thing would be a bit of a burden, then. I think you would definitely be a great improvement to their blogger lineup, but it’s kind of sounding to me like you have more to offer them than they have to offer you.

andrew, that’s a fantastic email! I am fully on board with your first round of cuts (although Patty has helped me learn to not hate the Stars so much).
on October 11, 2007 at 2:47 pm Pookie

I thought I said friends don’t let friends read Bucci! Why didn’t you guys stop me?! It was what, seven email? Not a single one had any real hockey content in it at all! It’s like he thinks, “Bill Simmons gets funny emails, so can I!” but then doesn’t realize that Bill Simmons’s emails all have some thought behind them and all spark interesting commentary from SG. Bucci gets lame emails and then responds with ten words or fewer. His email “columns” are the worst! They’re so insulting! GAH!
on October 11, 2007 at 2:49 pm Schnookie

Pookie, as your designated Bucci Support Counsellor, I have to tell you to let it go. It was dumb, you wasted 35 seconds skimming it, now move on. Sure, those are 35 seconds you can never get back, and sure you’re going to have to scrub your brain with bleach to get that dirty feeling out of it, but still. Let it go.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:49 pm andrew

I thought it was a pretty good “no way” list. Not too many teams, not too few.

“Do we all get a chance to send your brother emails pleading the case for our teams?”

Unfortunately, no. He will be tainted by my Sabres/Sharks propaganda, no other influences can be allowed. Sorry!

“I mean, surely you’ll encourage him to be a Devils fan…”

Well, I’m not encouraging him…but if it makes you feel any better, IPB has softened me to the Devils a tiny bit. Just a tiny bit! Because of this blog the Devils will be placed in the “root for them if you want to, but don’t expect any support from me” list. That’s second best! They were upgraded from “teams that you can root for, but I strongly encourage you not too. strongly.” That’s third best.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:51 pm Schnookie

They were upgraded from “teams that you can root for, but I strongly encourage you not too. strongly.”

Wow! You’re holding the Devils in higher esteem than I am!
on October 11, 2007 at 2:51 pm Schnookie

Just kidding.
on October 11, 2007 at 2:52 pm andrew

“Wow! You’re holding the Devils in higher esteem than I am!”

They earned that spot by beating the Sabres 3 out of 4 games last year. See what kind of impact IPB has had on me?! I’ve *ack* *gah* softened up to the Devils!
on October 11, 2007 at 2:54 pm andrew

“I am fully on board with your first round of cuts (although Patty has helped me learn to not hate the Stars so much).”

Glad to hear it!

Sorry to Patty and the rest of my Pacific Division peeps here at IPB, but when it’s game time, the rivalries are just too strong for me to resist.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:00 pm Earl Sleek

Sorry to Patty and the rest of my Pacific Division peeps here at IPB

It’s OK. I could see myself being petty and close-minded in some bizarro-world where the Sharks weren’t playoff chokers.

Heh, watch the kid become a Coyotes fan.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:01 pm Schnookie

They earned that spot by beating the Sabres 3 out of 4 games last year.

I had no idea how powerful IPB was! I mean, when a team beats the Devils 3 games out of 4, I develop a neverending hatred that eats away at my soul. I’m so impressed that we can soften you on the Devils even after Lindy psyched himself out in 3 games against them last year! (Seriously. If the Sabres had just skated instead of freaking out and saying, “Oh my god! They trap! We have to be patient and sit back and totally throw our own gameplan out the window!” they would have swept the season series handily.)
on October 11, 2007 at 3:03 pm andrew

“I could see myself being petty and close-minded in some bizarro-world where the Sharks weren’t playoff chokers.”

Ouch, cut me to the quick on that one, Earl.

Well then, allow me to be the one to tell AOL fanhouse that your Ducks gameday post included a chart with 32 NHL teams on it. See if they want you then, Earl!!! AHAHAHAHA!!
on October 11, 2007 at 3:06 pm Earl Sleek

Well then, allow me to be the one to tell AOL fanhouse that your Ducks gameday post included a chart with 32 NHL teams on it. See if they want you then, Earl!!!

Sure, most people would say that my chart was “incorrect”, but I’m sure Gary Bettman would say I was being being “visionary”.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:12 pm Pookie

Because of this blog the Devils will be placed in the “root for them if you want to, but don’t expect any support from me” list. That’s second best! They were upgraded from “teams that you can root for, but I strongly encourage you not too. strongly.”

The Devils are up to “Don’t Buy”! Woo-hoo!
on October 11, 2007 at 3:14 pm andrew

“…but I’m sure Gary Bettman would say I was being being “visionary”.”

Trust me, the last thing Bettman wants is two teams in Buffalo, or Ottawa for that matter. Far too strong of markets.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:33 pm Earl Sleek

Good point, Andrew. I’ll make sure to switch them to Mexico City and Honolulu.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:34 pm Heather B.

Earl, I dunno. It sounds to me like you’re waffling pretty hard about the AOL thing. For me that would mean saying no. You guys have such a distinctive voice at BoC so I’d hate to see it get pushed aside for Fanhouse if it comes down to you not having enough time for both.

People, how am I suppose to break from Bucci if you keep coming in here and talking about how horrible his latest column is?
on October 11, 2007 at 3:38 pm Schnookie

Heather, the Bucci mailbag thing was thrown into stark (and pretty hilarious) relief by the mailbag Bill Simmons has up on Page 2 today. Bucci refers to his as “the mother of all mailbags” and it features 7 emails, one of which gets no answer, another of which gets the recycled “I’m not gay!” Podein story, and the others all get an average of 30 words in response. Meanwhile, Simmons calls his a mini-mailbag and it’s somthing like 75,000 words long and features among all kinds of other things what I thought was a pretty intelligent analysis of how and why TV shows fail when they employ showy, surprise plot twists.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:40 pm Earl Sleek

Earl, I dunno. It sounds to me like you’re waffling pretty hard about the AOL thing.

Thanks, I learned from two of the best wafflers in the game today!

Yeah, but I think you guys are echoing what I’m feeling. I’ll still wait a day to see if there’s any new ideas, but I think I’m pretty happy as a strictly-BoCer.

Thanks for chiming in, though.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:41 pm alix

hey, do I want to watch the attempted decapitation of Kesler or will it be too scarring? And wow. I should really not listen to sports radio.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:42 pm Heather B.

Schnookie, I’m hot and cold on Bill Simmons but I love, love, love his mailbags. His readers are funnier and more creative than Bucci. Seriously, those are the best letters he got? And those are the best answers he can come up with?
on October 11, 2007 at 3:43 pm Schnookie

And wow. I should really not listen to sports radio.

alix, have you not been listening to us all this time? NO SPORTS RADIO! :D
on October 11, 2007 at 3:45 pm Schnookie

Heather, Bill Simmons’ readers are GENIUSES. And what amazes me about Simmons is that I will read his eleventy billion-word columns in which he proposes six trades that will revitalize the NBA or whatever just because he’s such a good writer. I hate how he ranks on the NHL, though, but I guess it would be too much to ask for my favorite sportswriter on the planet to actually like the only sport I really care about.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:46 pm Heather B.

Sports radio is worse than Bucci, Bucky, and message boards rolled into one. It will kill your soul.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:46 pm Earl Sleek

hey, do I want to watch the attempted decapitation of Kesler or will it be too scarring?

I haven’t seen it myself, but I find it easier to watch these sort of replays when you’re associated with the victim than when you’re associated with the criminal. Outrage is just a cool emotion; apologeticism is overrated.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:49 pm andrew

“hey, do I want to watch the attempted decapitation of Kesler or will it be too scarring?”

I saw it this morning, it’s pretty mean, but probably not scarring. Kesler said he didn’t think it broke his jaw or anything. It’ll piss you off, that’s for sure.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:51 pm Schnookie

I saw it this morning, it’s pretty mean, but probably not scarring. Kesler said he didn’t think it broke his jaw or anything. It’ll piss you off, that’s for sure.

I think it’ll be a lot easier to watch with hindsight than it was in the moment. Since it seems Kesler’s okay, it’ll mostly just fuel you with some of that aforementioned cool outrage.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:52 pm alix

I know Schnookie! But it’s like you ladies and Bucci. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it. Apparantly our management is delusional and we should ship Markus Naslund back to Sweden because no European has ever captained a Stanley Cup winner. Ugh, it bugs me to no end when people bring up the European player argument.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:52 pm Pookie

Bill Simmons is who I turn to when I’m stuck working with my boss and can’t spend my work hours reading personal email. I learned, however, while reading his Idiots Guide to the Isiah Thomas Trial, that I’m far more likely to get sucked into SG’s columns than my email, causing me to more egregiously neglect my customers.
on October 11, 2007 at 3:56 pm Earl Sleek

Apparently our management is delusional and we should ship Markus Naslund back to Sweden because no European has ever captained a Stanley Cup winner.

That’s a great idea! That will surely help solve the Canucks’ problem (I forget–their problem is that they score way too many goals, right?).
on October 11, 2007 at 4:07 pm alix

Ha! Yup waaay too many goals. That’s all people could talk about this off season when it came to the Canucks. Anyways, no more radio for me. I’m going for positive thinking…this was just a horrible one off game that will not happen again this season. It’s only three games right? Vancouver fans are insane.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:11 pm Schnookie

It’s only three games right? Vancouver fans are insane.

It’s happening everywhere, though. It’s just proof that this was the worst off-season EVER — we’re all losing our minds now that hockey is back, and have no sense of perspective that it’s not even the middle of October yet.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:15 pm Earl Sleek

worst off-season EVER

Bah, I’ll just say “Lockout” each time you throw this out there. More than the offseason, though, this has been the worst start to a hockey year ever. Schedules are all over the place, it feels like there’s been three opening days (none of which were stellar), and there’s already been some pretty crummy games.

Besides, Vancouver’s start would look crappy going behind even the best offseason ever, whatever that means.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:21 pm Schnookie

Bah, I’ll just say “Lockout” each time you throw this out there.

See, the thing about the lockout for me was that it didn’t come as a surprise, and it was long enough and hopeless enough that I actually found other things to do. I turned to other hobbies, I left my house from time to time, I became a normal person. It sucked, to be sure, but it also proved that life can be lived without hockey. Regular off-seasons, when you know hockey’s coming back soon, are more like suspended animation, and this summer felt especially like I was just spinning my wheels, waiting for the season to start up.

There is no doubt this is the worst start of a season ever. It seems like there have been way more losses than are mathematically possible — I mean, how is it that everyone but the Islanders, Caps and Senators are all like, “Hold on, we weren’t ready yet. Can we go back and start the season up again?”
on October 11, 2007 at 4:22 pm Pookie

The Lockout doesn’t count. It’s in a class all its own.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:24 pm Nadine

“I haven’t seen it myself, but I find it easier to watch these sort of replays when you’re associated with the victim than when you’re associated with the criminal. Outrage is just a cool emotion; apologeticism is overrated.”

Earl, that’s not necessarily true! Even the rational ones of us associated with Flyers are outraged on this one, never mind people like me that have personal experience with a broken jaw. (The irrational ones are the old-school, die-hard BSB fans that still relive the 1970s…and the Eagles and Sixers fans that hate Santa. That was never the Flyers fans.) : )

Boulerice says he expects to be suspended. So does Coach Stevens, and he will be reaming Jesse out for this the whole plane ride back to the East Coast.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:30 pm Heather B.

Yeah, the schedule is definitely part of the problem, I think. “The Senators are 10 points ahead of us!” While yes, it would be nice to earn a point eventually, they’ve played five games and we’ve played two.

All right, IPB. Have a great night! I’m off to a night of dinner and hockey with the husband!
on October 11, 2007 at 4:30 pm Earl Sleek

The Lockout doesn’t count. It’s in a class all its own.

Fine print.

Earl, that’s not necessarily true! Even the rational ones of us associated with Flyers are outraged on this one, never mind people like me that have personal experience with a broken jaw.

Right, maybe I need to rephrase. I’m not saying that Flyers fans won’t have any outrage, it’s just that it’s going to be much tougher for a Flyer fan to watch the video than a Canuck fan, I think. It’s just no fun to see “your” team be the obvious bad guy in a “black eye for hockey” play.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:33 pm andrew

“I mean, how is it that everyone but the Islanders, Caps and Senators are all like, “Hold on, we weren’t ready yet.”

Don’t forget Minny, Tampa, and up until last night’s embarrassment, Nashville.

Who the hell are these teams? damnit!
on October 11, 2007 at 4:33 pm Schnookie

Bye Heather! Have a great night!

It’s just no fun to see “your” team be the obvious bad guy in a “black eye for hockey” play.

This is one of many reasons I want the Devils to ditch Cam Janssen. It just stops being fun at all when you’re suddenly cheering for the bad guy.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:34 pm Pookie

Heather, have a fantastic time!

Earl, I agree that in the case of something like the Kesler thing, it would be much harder, in hindsight, for a Flyers fan than a Canucks fan.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:37 pm andrew

“While yes, it would be nice to earn a point eventually, they’ve played five games and we’ve played two.”

But Heather, according to the chart over at BoC they’ve both played 3 games! Now I’m confused.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:37 pm Katebits

Oooh! Cheer hard for the Sabres, Heather. A win would really hit the spot tonight.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:38 pm alix

I totally get you Earl. I still can’t watch the Bertuzzi/Moore video without trouble.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:39 pm Schnookie

But Heather, according to the chart over at BoC they’ve both played 3 games! Now I’m confused.

andrew, I have it on good authority that the fact-checkers over at BoC are a bunch of lushes.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:42 pm alix

Ha! You won’t hear arguments from us Joe.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:48 pm Earl Sleek

But Heather, according to the chart over at BoC they’ve both played 3 games!

Yeah Heather. There’s only three more reliable sources, and then your out of luck.

andrew, I have it on good authority that the fact-checkers over at BoC are a bunch of lushes.

Not true! None of us are fact-checkers!
on October 11, 2007 at 4:50 pm Earl Sleek

your

you’re

(sigh, sorry, McErlain)
on October 11, 2007 at 4:51 pm Frisby

and up until last night’s embarrassment, Nashville.

IPB – we’ll rub salt into anybody’s wounds.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:54 pm andrew

“IPB – we’ll rub salt into anybody’s wounds.”

Aw, Fris…don’t worry about it man, you’ve still got the Dev…oh, right. Sorry.
on October 11, 2007 at 4:59 pm Mags

you’ve still got the Dev…oh, right.

Yeah, you’re one to talk. Them Sharks are sure on fire eh Andrew? Unis looking spectacular too.
on October 11, 2007 at 5:01 pm Earl Sleek

IPB – we’ll rub salt into both of Frisby’s wounds.
on October 11, 2007 at 5:07 pm alix

Huh, does sending your lead goal scorer down to Manitoba make sense?
on October 11, 2007 at 5:07 pm Frisby

You want to discuss Chad Pennington’s touchdown/interception ratio while we are at it?
on October 11, 2007 at 5:08 pm andrew

“Yeah, you’re one to talk. Them Sharks are sure on fire eh Andrew? Unis looking spectacular too.”

Oh, come on Mags! You of all people know the Devils will be fine.

And it’s already been determined that the ookies are getting the Sharks uniforms changed back, so hmph!
on October 11, 2007 at 5:10 pm Earl Sleek

Huh, does sending your lead goal scorer down to Manitoba make sense?

Well, that’s kind of going off another question I had: does having Ryan Shannon as your leading goal scorer make sense?

Shannon, btw, did have the worst +/- in the league after last night’s nonsense. And that’s including Derian Hatcher.
on October 11, 2007 at 5:11 pm Frisby

Well at least the Preds are playing the Coyotes tonight, so that should help them redeem themselves, right? RIGHT?
on October 11, 2007 at 5:12 pm Earl Sleek

I dunno, Frisby. Coyotes are the only team to beat the Blues thus far, and you know how well the Preds did against the Blues…
on October 11, 2007 at 5:15 pm Frisby

True, but unless the Blues traded Brad Boyes to the yotes today, I won’t be too worried.
on October 11, 2007 at 5:16 pm alix

That was my next question Earl. Pretty much half my team has almost the worst +/-. Oh Vancouver! This season is slowly kidding me. But maybe they’re just getting rid of all the bandwagonners, and then are going to kick ass. Yup that must be it.
on October 11, 2007 at 5:18 pm andrew

It’s way too early in the season to get in a tizzy over the team, alix. They’ll be fine!
on October 11, 2007 at 5:21 pm Frisby

So when can we start getting into tizzies? TELL ME WHEN!!!
on October 11, 2007 at 5:30 pm Earl Sleek

Well, by my count the Canucks have scored 7 goals, and 6 have come on the PP, so there’s not a lot of “plus” to go around. Also, what’s up with Luongo? Is he still complaining about Rob Niedermayer on Hansen?
on October 11, 2007 at 5:32 pm Mags

You of all people know the Devils will be fine.

Oh I know. I have all the endless hope of a child.

Pretty much half my team has almost the worst +/-.

Oh I don’t know. I’m pretty sure Toronto is giving you a fairly good run for your money.
on October 11, 2007 at 5:33 pm Earl Sleek

I’m pretty sure Toronto is giving you a fairly good run for your money.

Oof. That’s some pretty tough encouragement right there.
on October 11, 2007 at 5:50 pm Mags

That’s some pretty tough encouragement right there.

Yes, well… At least I tried.
on October 11, 2007 at 5:58 pm alix

There’s a plus! Our power play is working. Last year it was non existant. And Luongo? he always has slow starts to the season, but this is a little bit worse than a slow start. My only guess is his knee is still bugging him from that pretzel he did when the Calgary player was thrown on him.
on October 11, 2007 at 6:01 pm Earl Sleek

One thing I am somewhat encouraged by out of the young season (though this could certainly change quickly).

Thus far this year only 7 of 51 games has gone into OT or a shootout (14%), which is much less frequent than each of the last two years (both years 281 of 1,230 games, 23%). I like more decisive results, especially when watching the out-of-town scoreboard.
on October 11, 2007 at 6:18 pm MrFrisby

WTF! No Devils pregame show? What, we can’t have a pregame show without Stan Fucking Fischler? This is totally screwing up my pregame rituals.
on October 11, 2007 at 6:19 pm Earl Sleek

OK, Andrew. I fixed the graphic at BoC. Good catch, even if it made me grumble.
on October 11, 2007 at 6:32 pm andrew

“OK, Andrew. I fixed the graphic at BoC. Good catch, even if it made me grumble.”

Hey dude, I’m just trying to help beef up your posts, y’know sweeten the LOLfanhouse pot.

Tell ya what, moving forward, I’ll fact check your posts for a mere $7.50 a piece. And by fact check I mean, I’ll collect my check and tell you everything looks great.
on October 11, 2007 at 6:38 pm Patty (in Dallas)

I’m not all caught up, and pretty late on the conversation on top of it, but I agree with Schnookie that it sounds like you’d be offering the FanHouse more than it offers you.

The thing about earning money doing something you enjoy doing is, whoever is paying you will suck the fun out of it by making you answer to them.

While I have no problem with letting the fun be sucked out of something for a lot of money, I don’t think it’s worth it for a little money.

Plus, how cool would that make you if you turned down the FanHouse. :D
on October 11, 2007 at 6:38 pm Earl Sleek

If you’re bored, check out some of these King fans’ team slogans–they’re hilarious.

Some favorites:

L.A. Kings Hockey – just 30 minutes north of the Stanley Cup.

better than a stick in the eye… well… maybe.

Kings Hockey. Still sitting on the throne but still full of crap.

“Our 19-year old goalie is better than your 19-year old goalie!”
on October 11, 2007 at 6:40 pm andrew

“Our 19-year old goalie is better than your 19-year old goalie!”

Oh, Kings…will the humor never cease? They’re actually going to have to erase that one now that Price is starting in Montreal.
on October 11, 2007 at 6:45 pm alix

Hee! I like the stick in the eye one.
on October 11, 2007 at 6:46 pm Amy

Kings Hockey. Still sitting on the throne but still full of crap.

This one’s my favorite. Hee.hee.

The thing about earning money doing something you enjoy doing is, whoever is paying you will suck the fun out of it by making you answer to them.

So true. Do what you love, and love what you do.
on October 11, 2007 at 6:47 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Poor Kings. (Hee hee.)

Did you see? Hagman is back on his 82-goal pace!
on October 11, 2007 at 6:48 pm andrew

Those were pretty good, my favorites:

“Come for the 2 minutes for roughing, get the shorthanded goal for free”

Kings Hockey, What we Lack in Skill, We Make up For in Effort…except not really.
on October 11, 2007 at 6:49 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Kings Hockey, What we Lack in Skill, We Make up For in Effort…except not really.

Love that one.
on October 11, 2007 at 6:49 pm Patty (in Dallas)

How about:

“Feeling down in the dumps? Losing all your games? Come play the Kings!”
on October 11, 2007 at 6:53 pm alix

Oh boy. I’m just content to make myself miserable today. I just went on the Canucks message boards. I need to learn my lesson. I’m going to stare at pictures of puppies for awhile, and then I’m going to do a positive katebitsesque post on my blog.
on October 11, 2007 at 6:56 pm Mags

I just went on the Canucks message boards. I need to learn my lesson.

Cute Overload?
on October 11, 2007 at 6:57 pm Patty (in Dallas)

I’m going to stare at pictures of puppies for awhile, and then I’m going to do a positive katebitsesque post on my blog.

That’s a good plan. Maybe there’s a day-old game on NHL.TV (or whatever it is) or Yahoo or Google video somewhere that you can watch.

It’s early, alix! In a couple of weeks, you’ll look back on this game and laugh. In fact, it might just be the turning point of the season. That’s happened to the Stars before. I think it was a couple of seasons ago we were on our Pacific swing and got HAMMERED by Phoenix, of all teams. They were planning to fly the wives out and have a retreat kind of thing between that game and the next and all that got cancelled. The GM, the team President, and even Tom Hicks, the owner, flew out there and had a little talk with them. They went on to have a great second half of the season. So maybe that’s all it is.
on October 11, 2007 at 6:58 pm Patty (in Dallas)

There ya go, alix! Mags is right. Cute Overload cures everything!
on October 11, 2007 at 7:08 pm alix

Thanks Mags! That cuteness hit the spot. Thanks Patty. You’re absolutely right. They’ve come out flat all three games and I think this was the kick in the ass they needed. Nazzy is all fired up and pissed off which you don’t always see. I think that can only be a good thing. I should just look forward to the Edmonton games. Phew, thanks for rescuing me from the weird Vancouver fan vortex of krazyness.
on October 11, 2007 at 7:08 pm Mags

Cute Overload cures everything!

Not only that, but it’ll add words to your vocabulary too!
on October 11, 2007 at 7:12 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Not only that, but it’ll add words to your vocabulary too!

So true! I’ve actually found myself using the word, “potench”, and confusing everybody. :D

For instance, the Canucks still have potench!
on October 11, 2007 at 7:16 pm Mags

Patty, I use “snorgle” and “potench” in regular conversation all the time, but my friends don’t seem to notice :P
on October 11, 2007 at 7:23 pm Patty (in Dallas)

I always want to use:

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!11PONIES!!!!1

But it takes too long to explain. :D
on October 11, 2007 at 7:24 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Also, “muzzlepowshe”. :D

As soon as I get home, I need to catch up over there.
on October 11, 2007 at 7:29 pm Mags

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!11PONIES!!!!1

I always wish that translated to normal conversation better. Still I find POMMERDOODLOCITY does a fairly good job too.
on October 11, 2007 at 7:34 pm Patty (in Dallas)

It really does. :D
on October 14, 2007 at 10:17 pm Douglas

That 2003 Conn Smythe trophy award was so wrong. If, heaven forbid, the crummy Rangers ever were to win another Cup, (as if!) there is no way that one of their players would not be awarded the Smythe, even if five players on the other team were more deserving. When the Devils win the Cup again, no New York-based sportswriter should be allowed to vote on the Smythe.
Niedermayer should have been awarded the 2003 Smythe. Everybody knows that; Niedermayer’s winning it last year was simply a make good on that gross miscarriage of justice.
Hear hear on changing the road jerseys to dark. It would help the Devils to be able to wear their intimidating red jerseys on the road again. Please, Mr. Bettman, are you listening?
on November 2, 2009 at 12:26 pm Enrornber

Cao everyone,

Im new to the forum and just wanted to introduce myself, my name is Richard and I’m form UK. I’ve been a long time lurker who has finally decided to make an account and contribute.