In the warm afterglow of “Sidney Crosby: Revealed” (diary to follow), we slide straight into the Rangers at the Pens, complete with some wildly unprecedented editorializing by VS – their sexy studio-portrait player shots in the intro include some graphics floating along behind Chris Drury, and those graphics, Gentle Reader, are — hilariously — giant, green, cartoony dollar signs. It takes us several minutes to recover.
We get to start with Chris Simpson interviewing Sid; she is actually wearing a bazonga-covering shirt tonight, but Sid is still adamantly staring anywhere but at her chest. He is also demonstrating what a Little Wooden Robot Whore he is – he’s got a VS towel draped over his shoulders. Oh, Sid. (Boomer is convinced Chris is only wearing a shirt because Sid refused to be interviewed if she was going to wear her usual cleavage-bearing tops. She is also convinced when we see Chris later tonight on the Rangers bench, she’ll be wearing only a bra.)
19:47 We’re going to tell ourselves now that this is a win-win for us – if the Pens win, then the Rangers lose, obviously, and that’s the happiest thing hockey has to offer. But if the Rangers win, then we’ll remind ourselves the Penguins are in our division.
18:05 We are looking for hilariousness tonight, and so far this game has not offered that. A Gronk sighting on the Pens first foray into the Rangers’ zone prompts Pookie to declare, “Gronk is going to get no more than ten points this year.”