It is far too early in the season to be handing out report cards (if it isn’t, we’d be really scared about Mirtle’s projection of 57 points for the Devils), but if we can’t hand out report cards, we at least need to have a parent-teacher conference with Mr. and Mrs. Devils. We have some concerns and hope that by addressing them now the Devils can pull themselves together before they spiral into in-house suspension territory. Here at IPB Academy, we believe parent-teacher conferences are informal discussions that don’t need the stress of actual numbers brought into the equation. There will be time enough for stats, wins and losses when report card time rolls around. So with the halls bedecked with the players’ construction paper artwork, we invited Mr. and Mrs. Devils to the classroom for a little chat:
IPB: Thanks for coming in today to talk with us, Mr. and Mrs. Devils.
Mr. & Mrs. D: [Settling uncomfortably into child-sized chairs] Should we be concerned about our child?
IPB: [Laughing in a combination of nervousness and condescension] Well, “concerned” is a very strong word, but… yes. Yes you should be.
Mrs. D: [Clutches pearls] Oh no! I knew we should never have moved! All the travel, all the uncertainty, all the unfamiliar surroundings! [Spins on Mr. D] This is all your fault!
Mr. D: My fault? But our old house was about to be condemned! We had no choice! And weren’t you the one complaining just last week about how the rats chewed through the sofa?!
IPB: Please, please — this isn’t about finger-pointing or laying blame. We just wanted to talk to you today about the warning signs we’re seeing; for so many years your child has been the model student, but suddenly this year… well.
Mrs. D: [Muffled sobbing]
Mr. D: [Pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs heavily] He’s underachieving again, isn’t he? He did this last year! And the year before! We did what he asked, we got him new babysitters every time he got tired of the old one, but nothing helped!
IPB: Yes, we remember that. All too well. But there’s something different about this year — something troubling. [Reaches into a drawer in the desk and pulls out a sheaf of papers; the papers are fingerpaintings done by the class.] Look at these. [Spreads the paintings out on the desk]
Mrs. D: [Looks over the papers, then points at one depicting, fairly clearly yet still sloppily, a house with a tree and a dog beside it] Is that our boy’s?
IPB: [Darkly] No.
Mr. D: [Picks one out that looks like The Ghent Altarpiece] Is that one his?
IPB: [Lets out an involuntary bark of laughter] Good heavens, no. The Senators did that one. No, this one is your child’s. [Holds up a painting that is made up of ugly, directionless smudges of mud browns and bile yellows. The overall effect of the painting is nothing less than disturbing.]
Mrs. D: [Choked with tears] Oh God!
Mr. D: I don’t understand.
IPB: Well, we promised not to bring numbers into this, but we just can’t help it. Three wins in ten games. A 69% efficient penalty kill. 3.4 goals against per game.
Mr. D: [Interjecting, his face turning bright red] WHAT?? He told me his numbers were good! He said he was doing just fine!
IPB: [Gently] No. No he’s not. But it’s not too late!
Mrs. D: [Stepping in over Mr. D's inarticulate, strangled rage] But how can that be? Those numbers… [waves hankie absently] …a team can’t just overcome that kind of start, can they? I mean, it’s all lost! Our boy’s a failure!
IPB: This is where we have to leave numbers out of it, because we’re not sure what the precedent is with this kind of start, but there’s no reason to abandon all hope. The Devils might be 28th overall in the league right now, but the season doesn’t end until April.
Mr. D: [Bitterly sarcastic] Plenty of time to drop to 30th. Looks like we’ll be able to join Mr. and Mrs. Coyotes on that trip to the Bahamas in April, after all.
IPB: Now, now…
Mrs. D: Maybe this is just a question of the grading systems not being fair! Maybe our boy’s talents aren’t what you can really accurately assess with stats and grades?
IPB: We’ve tried to give the Devils the benefit of the doubt, for sure. [Gets up, walks to the window, and looks out at the last of the autumn leaves clinging to the tree branches outside] We mean, yes, there was the long road trip, and then the new house, and there’s the new system and the new coach… but there’s only so long before we have to say that we’re gravely concerned. [Turns back to face Mr. and Mrs. D] And we would like for you two to keep an eye on your child’s latest behavioral trends when he’s at home, away from the classroom.
Mr. D: [Darkly suspicious] Behavioral trends?
IPB: Yes. Unfortunately, your child is demonstrating some severe dysfunction.
Mrs. D: [Tittering laugh] Oh, but when doesn’t our boy act at least a little bit dysfunctional? Dysfunction is really his calling card!
IPB: We know what you’re talking about, Mrs. Devils, and we agree — we’ve had many good years with your child, enjoying his little eccentricities. But this year we’re not so sure this isn’t a sign of something far more sinister.
Mr. and Mrs. D: [Staring in silent, wide-eyed apprehension]
IPB: He’s lashing out internally.
Mrs. D: Wh… what?
IPB: Lashing out. At himself. Internally. The coach is calling out players –
Mr. D: [Interjecting] It’s about damn time!
IPB: But the players aren’t learning anything from it. Johnny Oduya continues to drop his stick on key plays, even after costing the team a win on Long Island, and Patrik Elias seems to think being called out is a good thing because it means the coach thinks he’s “important”.
Mr. D: That Elias isn’t right in the head. Never has been.
IPB: That’s not for us to decide. The problem is bigger than just one player.
Mrs. D: [Pathetically hopeful] This is all part of the new-coach learning process. We read about it on the internet, and it said it can take months for it to play out. Now that we’re in our new house, now that things are normalizing… the players will start to understand what the coach means when he calls them out in the media.
IPB: [Dryly] The coach called out Johnny Oduya, but benched Mike Mottau.
Mr. D: He benched Mottau? But Mottau was our best defenseman!
IPB: Our point exactly.
Mr. D: [Eyes narrowing meanly] Is it Brodeur’s fault?
IPB: It was, at first. But not anymore. Now everyone is sucking, and he’s finally starting to look to be back on track.
Mrs. D: [Suddenly outraged and lashing out blindly] Where’s Lou while all of this is going on? He’s always been there to fix things when they started getting crazy in the past!
IPB: Excellent question, Mrs. Devil. That’s probably the reason we’re most concerned right now. In previous years, when your child has been more successful, this sort of behavior would have prompted some kind of drastic response, or, at the very least, a knee-jerk coach-firing. But Lou has been strangely absent, perhaps even inattentive.
Mr. D: Oh, forget it! Just forget all about it! Clearly there’s only one thing we can do — send him to military school.
IPB: [Shocked] Military school? Oh no! We don’t want you to take your child out of our class. We truly care deeply about the Devils; in fact, we shouldn’t say this because the other children might hear about it, but we love your child the best.
Mrs. D: [Watery smile] You do?
IPB: [Blushing] We’re supposed to be objective, being the teacher here, but we just can’t help it. And we probably do a bad job of hiding it. Which is why we’re meeting with you right now and not, say, Mr. and Mrs. Ducks or Mr. and Mrs. Rangers.
Mrs. D: [Conspiratorially] I hear Mr. and Mrs. Rangers are both seeing other people on the side. And they’re drug addicts.
IPB: That wouldn’t surprise us, but that’s neither here nor there.
Mrs. D: Right. Sorry. I can’t help myself.
IPB: Look, Mr. and Mrs. Devils: there’s only so much we can do. We’re here to support, cheer for, and love your child, but we can’t affect any real change. We need for you two to step in and get your child back in line. There have been flashes of competence at times this season, if not brilliance, but for the most part the only thing the Devils have done consistently is look overwhelmed and discombobulated. Can’t you, as parents, help your child find a comfortable state of mind? A happy mental place he can retreat to when things aren’t going well? A sense of steadiness?
Mr and Mrs. D: Umm… probably not.
IPB: [Sighing heavily] Well then, can you book us for that trip to the Bahamas, too?
Mr. D: [Surprisingly excited] Mr. Coyotes told me we’re going on the cruise ship Lottery Pick! It’s very swanky.
IPB: [Brightening] Really? Do tell…
I hear Mr. and Mrs. Rangers are both seeing other people on the side. And they’re drug addicts.
:^:::::::::::::::::::
Really, that applies to everything, but very especially the quoted part. Brava!!
Thanks, Pensgirl. We really did need to add that moment of Rangers-themed levity, or this parent-teacher conference would have been too depressing to bear. Sigh. I hear the open bar on the cruise ship Lottery Pick is not to be believed, though. And they serve a really delicious bottomless shrimp cocktail.
I hear the open bar on the cruise ship Lottery Pick is not to be believed, though. And they serve a really delicious bottomless shrimp cocktail.
Well, the ship really reached its peak a few years ago anyway. It’s still good, but not quite the rollicking adventure it once was. ;)
Which is why we’re meeting with you right now and not, say, Mr. and Mrs. Ducks or Mr. and Mrs. Rangers.
I don’t know how Mags is taking the Devils’ season-to-date, but personally, having an ocean in between myself and the Ducks is helping me remain stubbornly optimistic.
All the same, IPB, if you wanted to overcome your favoritism and have a sit-down with Mr. and Mrs. Ducks, it’d be much appreciated.
All the same, IPB, if you wanted to overcome your favoritism and have a sit-down with Mr. and Mrs. Ducks, it’d be much appreciated.
I dunno… I think military school is the way to go for them.
It’s still good, but not quite the rollicking adventure it once was.
Hmm. You really are our cruise ship Lottery Pick expert, aren’t you? I’ll have to take your word for it… :P
I dunno… I think military school is the way to go for them.
*gasp* What kind of teacher are you?
*gasp* What kind of teacher are you?
Considering I’m asking Mr. Devils to book me on that cruise with him and Mr. Coyotes, I’m clearly a terrible teacher! :P
Mr. and Mrs. Canucks are content to let their child be middle of the pack. And they don’t wan’t to get him help with his goals. Please talk to them too. This is fabulous by the way. Just when I think IPB can’t get funnier it does. :^:::::::::::
Mr. and Mrs. Canucks are content to let their child be middle of the pack. And they don’t wan’t to get him help with his goals.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Please talk to them too.
The pressure! What about this parent-teacher conference seemed like a success? We’re clearly awful at it! I really don’t think we’re qualified to be helping the parents of NHL franchises figure out how to straighten their wayward children out.
Considering I’m asking Mr. Devils to book me on that cruise with him and Mr. Coyotes, I’m clearly a terrible teacher! :P
Okay, now I have this mental picture of you on that cruise flirting with Mr. Devils while Mrs. Devils is distracted by the shrimp cocktail. (He may be overbearing and prone to fits of rage, but she’s a piece of work herself.)
(He may be overbearing and prone to fits of rage, but she’s a piece of work herself.)
It’s true. There’s no way you end up with a kid as screwed up as the Devils without some serious issues with the parents. Mr. and Mrs. Devils are like something out of Tennessee Williams.
Mr. and Mrs. D sound way too indulgent. Mr. Sabre flipped stuff over, screamed, and made the kids skate until their feet fell off.
That…was…brilliant. I have to agree with Pensgirl on the general :^::::::::::::::: and the specific :^:::::::::: related to the Rangers comment.
*sigh* You ladies never disappoint.
…and I bet you didn’t watch the Caps play tonight. First good game in weeks :P
…and I bet you didn’t watch the Caps play tonight. First good game in weeks :P
Any game where the Leafs get slaughtered is a great game. :)
True, Meg, very true! I kind of understated my excitement. See, for me any game where the Leafs get slaughtered is a great game…and any game where the Caps are the ones doing the slaughtering and where they play an almost perfect game is an AWESOME game. :)
Genius, ya’ll. Genius!
This is incredible! Bravo! clap clap clap clap clapclapclapclapclapclapclap!
Patty, that was some game you saw. Sorry it didn’t turn out your way. At least you escaped JR-free.
I particularly like the part where Mr. and Mrs. D think their child has created The Ghent Altarpiece, only to be shown that he’s a pretty much a talentless Jackson Pollack.
At least you escaped JR-free.
And Modano’s one point closer to the record so maybe you will get to see him break it.
Thanks. Andrew scared me so much this afternoon that I was almost okay with the loss, as long as JR didn’t score.
:D
I thought of you during the game, Pensgirl. During a commercial break somebody from Pittsburgh, TX won a prize. :D
During a commercial break somebody from Pittsburgh, TX won a prize. :D
Really? Spelled the right way and everything? I knew there are Pittsburgs elsewhere (KS, CA) but I didn’t think there were other Pittsburghs (the Feds mandated that all burghs drop the “h” back in the 1800s, and we had to fight to get ours back). Huh!
No way! I’ll have to double-check then. I thought they all had h’s.
Sorry, Pensgirl, it doesn’t have an H. I had no idea there was some mandate about that. What problem could the Feds have had that would cause such a thing?
This is fabulous! At least Mr. and Mrs. Devils can be assured that their little darling doesn’t run with scissors or eat paste.
Mr. Coyotes told me we’re going on the cruise ship Lottery Pick! It’s very swanky.
Does it have an all-you-can-eat oyster bar for Elias?
I knew my child was brilliant! :D
“the Feds mandated that all burghs drop the “h” back in the 1800s, and we had to fight to get ours back”
Other towns and cities are considering changing back now as well. Plattsburgh anyone?
CC, I’ll have you know we watched a goodly portion of the Caps game last night! We were flipping between all the games, and were most delighted by your boys’ showing. Sheesh! So quick to assume we weren’t watching…
Patty, so sorry about how things ended last night for you. It was an exciting game, though, right?
I knew my child was brilliant! :D
Have you ever seen “Six Degrees of Separation”? There’s a monologue in it where an art enthusiast is talking about his child’s artwork. He raves about how brilliant his kid and kid’s classmates appear to be when he visits the classroom, how there are dozens of impressionistic masterpieces hanging all over the room. He comments on this to the teacher and the teacher says the secret is just to know when to take the painting away from the kid, to decide for the kid when it’s done. That’s how it was for the Senators and their fingerpainting. Left to their own devices, they would have just smeared away at it all day. Brilliant my ass!
It was exciting, I guess. I’m surprised it wasn’t worse, with all the giveaways. I was thinking, maybe it just seems that way because I’m not watching it on TV, but man, I think they were doing it on purpose!
Hey, Schnookie, do y’all want a Stars magnet schedule? I couldn’t remember if you just wanted one from the Sabres and the Devils or if you’re going to collect all 30.
I got you one if you want it. :D
Sorry, Pensgirl, it doesn’t have an H. I had no idea there was some mandate about that. What problem could the Feds have had that would cause such a thing?
Well, the mandate occurred in 1890, and we got the h back in 1911, so I don’t fault you for lacking that knowledge!
Supposedly the mandate was to “avoid confusion.” Of course, it didn’t do that.
I think the funniest part is that the h is just ornamental – we don’t pronounce the city’s name as though it’s there. “Burg” is German and phonetic; “burgh” is Scottish and is properly pronounced “boro.” We demanded our h back, but we don’t actually use it!
Why, Patty, we’d be delighted to get a Stars magnetic schedule! DELIGHTED!
(I have to confess, I wasn’t paying extremely close attention to the way the Stars were playing last night — there were a lot of formatting tags going into this post that were keeping me really busy! :D)
I’m surprised it wasn’t worse, with all the giveaways.
Maybe if the organization charged them $2 per “giveaway” like with you fans, they won’t commit so many!
Maybe if the organization charged them $2 per “giveaway” like with you fans, they won’t commit so many!
ZING! (Nicely done!)
ZING! (Nicely done!)
Why thank ya! I just can’t get over the fact that they’re actually charging people for promotions.
Maybe if the organization charged them $2 per “giveaway” like with you fans, they won’t commit so many!
Hilarious!!
I did buy a little mini Mini-Mo and he came with a little stand that’s a hockey rink with little slots for all six bobbleheads you’re supposed to collect. So I guess I’ll be forced to go to all the Monday games now. :D I’m such a sucker.
Email me your mailing address, Schnookie, and I’ll send it right out.
You know, when I get around to it. :D
he came with a little stand that’s a hockey rink with little slots for all six bobbleheads you’re supposed to collect.
Ohhhh… they’re good, aren’t they! Because how can you display him in his little stand if there are all these glaring, obvious holes where the others are supposed to go? DIABOLICAL!
(I’m wondering if the Devils have put a “pay-per-goal” scheme in place, but the fans just haven’t realized it yet. That we all have to fork over $2 every time we’d like to see a goal.)
(I’m wondering if the Devils have put a “pay-per-goal” scheme in place, but the fans just haven’t realized it yet. That we all have to fork over $2 every time we’d like to see a goal.)
Yikes, maybe that’s what the Pens did too!
Patty, you are a SUPERHERO! Watch your inbox, because I’m sending you IPB Manor’s mailing address in just sec! Oh, and I’m pommerdoodling! We might not get a Devils magnetic schedule, and that’s just the Devils’ loss — we’re going to be just that much better informed about the Stars!
Left to their own devices, they would have just smeared away at it all day. Brilliant my ass!
Aw, I didn’t know you guys cared enough to take away their painting before it turned into a smeared up mess :P
he came with a little stand that’s a hockey rink with little slots for all six bobbleheads you’re supposed to collect.
Clearly you have to collect all of them, it would just look too lonely without them. That being said, am I the only one thoroughly creeped out by bobbleheads?
Aw, I didn’t know you guys cared enough to take away their painting before it turned into a smeared up mess
Meh. It’s only because we teachers have performance reviews, too. :P
I agree that bobbleheads are creepy. Although I was kind of excited to get the Daneyko one which remains the only bobblehead I’ve every actually seen in person. (That might be a total lie. There may very well have been bobbleheads galore in CapsChick’s house that I didn’t consciously notice…)
am I the only one thoroughly creeped out by bobbleheads?
For me it depends on the actual bobblehead. With the right expression (I never think they look like the person so forget that part) they can be cute, but with the wrong one they can look downright Chuckyesque.
I remember in the HHOF shop there’s a giant Sid bobblehead that’s maybe 4 feet tall sitting in the window. Really, the attention to detail was quite impressive although I swore from certain angles it looked like Malkin. Finny told me there is in fact a life-sized Teemu bobblehead and all I can think about was how unpleasant it would be to be greeted by that in the middle of the night.
For me it depends on the actual bobblehead. With the right expression (I never think they look like the person so forget that part) they can be cute, but with the wrong one they can look downright Chuckyesque.
My grandfather has a Buster Bison bobblehead that freaks me out. Buster is scary enough on his own, but in bobblehead format, he’s enough to give you nightmares. The Tim Russert bobblehead is really cool, though.
I don’t know if the Sabres have given out any bobbleheads. I would be kind of creeped out by what they could come up with, considering some of the raw material they have to work with.
I remember in the HHOF shop there’s a giant Sid bobblehead that’s maybe 4 feet tall sitting in the window. Really, the attention to detail was quite impressive although I swore from certain angles it looked like Malkin.
I’ve seen Sid ones with green or blue eyes. o_O Eye color seems like something they shouldn’t be getting wrong, but then again why should that be different from anything else?
I think the little Sid-with-Hart one the Pens are giving away on 11/12 is fine, but there was a bigger Sid-with-Ross for sale in the pro shop that was downright scary. The smaller ones are better, definitely.
Finny told me there is in fact a life-sized Teemu bobblehead and all I can think about was how unpleasant it would be to be greeted by that in the middle of the night.
Remember the creepy clown on Michael Douglas’ shelf in The Game? Turns out, the heebie-jeebie level of that clown is the same as the level for “life-sized” bobblehead. The only way there will be a life-sized NHLer in my house is if an actual player shows up there.
This mini-bobblehead I got last night is teee-ninecy. Smaller than what I thought was a mini that I got a couple of seasons ago. It’s only a couple of inches high.
And I know it’s sorry of them not to give them away, but it’s still darn close to free. I mean, the Cokes are four dollars.
“Andrew scared me so much this afternoon that I was almost okay with the loss, as long as JR didn’t score.”
MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I planted the seed!
Seriously Patty, I was kidding…JR can go Eff a goat for all I care. But how about Setoguchi? I knew that kid would be a difference maker, 2 goals! On the 3rd line! So much fun to watch!
Turns out, the heebie-jeebie level of that clown is the same as the level for “life-sized” bobblehead.
Can’t sleep. Giant Sid will eat me. Can’t sleep. Giant Sid will eat me….
Can’t sleep. Giant Sid will eat me. Can’t sleep. Giant Sid will eat me….
Theoretically he isn’t even giant… just lifesize.
Still, yikes! Not cool!
Damnit, Roenick killed the thread. I know…he’s a jerk. Sorry about that.
andrew, I don’t think you understand the depth of my loathing for him. I might have overstated your role in making me think that way. :D
On Versus, I just watched a couple of minutes out of the corner of my eye and they had JR mic’d up apparently. He’s over there by Mo during warmups trying to climb onto his coattails.
Can’t sleep. Giant Sid will eat me. Can’t sleep. Giant Sid will eat me…
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
(Favorite… Simpsons reference… EVER!)
they had JR mic’d up apparently.
They kept promising great JR action, going on and on about how the truck had so much audio to choose from and… they played none of it. OK, once they plugged him in and played 15 seconds of him telling Setogouchi what to do, but it has to be the most boring JR’s ever been in his whole life.
That goochie kid does seem pretty good. I don’t know anything about him, though. Of course, our Loui Eriksson got a goal in his first NHL game and now he’s a regular scratch.
Hopefully he has something more on his resume than a game the Stars handed to them. :D
“He’s over there by Mo during warmups trying to climb onto his coattails.”
I saw that…I know, I know, he’s a turd. I was never on board with that signing.
Rough game for Dallas though. Sorry about that! (rough game for me too, there was this crazy storm and the power kept going out. Like 3 times during the game! Lame!)
Just the little I heard when he was talking to Mo sounded slimy. “You’re the best, dude! I hope you get it!” Mo actually tries to make a little conversation. Then JR steps all over him… “You’re the best, dude! Don’t ever change!”
Mo’s like, “Hoo-kay. Jerk.”
At least that was my perception.
Thanks for the sympathy andrew. Except for you-know-who, I don’t hate the Sharks like I should. I wonder why that is.
“That goochie kid does seem pretty good. I don’t know anything about him, though.”
He’s the real deal. 8th overall pick in 2005, he’s been paying his dues in the WHL for the last few years. He had 5 PP goals in the preseason! (I know it’s only preseason, but still!) The only reason he hadn’t played yet this year is because of an ankle injury. But you can expect to see more of him, unless RW punts him back down for no reason what-so-ever. *cough*Carle*cough*
“Mo actually tries to make a little conversation. Then JR steps all over him… “You’re the best, dude! Don’t ever change!””
JR is like that co-worker/acquaintance/a-hole who stops to talk to you but is constantly looking over your shoulder for someone “better” he should be talking with.
“Except for you-know-who, I don’t hate the Sharks like I should. I wonder why that is.”
Because they’re so damn cool.
Because they’re so damn cool.
That could be it.
Or maybe it’s that they’ve never knocked us out of the playoffs or, as far as I know, never sent any of our players to the hospital.
JR is like that co-worker/acquaintance/a-hole who stops to talk to you but is constantly looking over your shoulder for someone “better” he should be talking with.
Exactly. Someone that will enhance his image.
Can’t sleep. Giant Sid will eat me. Can’t sleep. Giant Sid will eat me…
Actually, the Scary Sid was only between 1-2 ft tall (hard to tell…it was hanging up high on the wall). I don’t even wanna think about a lifesize one. Besides, the real Sid can serve as his own replica.
Mo’s like, “Hoo-kay. Jerk.”
Has anyone ever interacted with JR without thinking that?
Or maybe it’s that they’ve never knocked us out of the playoffs or, as far as I know, never sent any of our players to the hospital.
The Sharks had my all-time favorite “smack-talking another team” commercial I’ve ever seen, targeting the Stars way back in the day. They played the Chicken Dance, and in the segments where some of us like to shout, “The Rangers suck!” they showed a little looped clip of Belfour flapping his arms, so it looked like he was really doing the dance. Then at the end the tagline was, “He just makes it so easy for us” or something like that. I’d never seen a team actually making commercials of that kind of stuff, so it delighted me to no end.
That’s an awesome commercial, Schnookie. I’ve never seen an ad targeting another team before either. I did like the old ones featuring goalies in full gear in the real world…like the guy in Habs gear who was tending his lawn, muttering about the damn maple leaves. Ha!
“Or maybe it’s that they’ve never knocked us out of the playoffs or, as far as I know, never sent any of our players to the hospital.”
Or maybe beacuse you guys have pretty much owned us for the past several seasons. It’s hard to hate a team when they can’t beat you.
Or maybe beacuse you guys have pretty much owned us for the past several seasons.
Well, I wasn’t going to say that. ;P
It’s hard to hate a team when they can’t beat you.
I can attest to that. Caps fans seethe at the very mention of the Pens, but they just don’t make me emotional at all.
It’s hard to hate a team when they can’t beat you.
Exactly. I’m sure the Red Wings think of us as a pesky mosquito but we’re consumed with hatred for them.
And I like the Oilers. I think they’re cute. But they hate the Stars in a big way.
Noooo! Setoguchi is a total Louie killer. Send him back down! Although he is freakin fun to watch to I guess I’ll live.
Goochie was a solid play last night in the Martle League (taken from the waiver wire). I guess he’s my offset for wasting a 2nd round pick on some has-been named Cheechoo.
Unfortunately, nothing seems to be going right in the IPB league. I’m living in the basement, and as it is starting to look cozy, I’m thinking of unpacking my things and me, Raycroft, and Fernandez will play whatever games shitty eastern goalies like to play.
“I’m sure the Red Wings think of us as a pesky mosquito but we’re consumed with hatred for them.”
“I can attest to that. Caps fans seethe at the very mention of the Pens, but they just don’t make me emotional at all.”
Exactly! See much a few wins can make another team hate you!? (I think Blues fans wanted the Sharks all dead for several years in a row there).
“Setoguchi is a total Louie killer. Send him back down!”
NO!!! We need someone to score some freakin’ goals! I don’t know what’s going on out there, but it stinks. Watching Cheechoo has been almost painful…
“I’m thinking of unpacking my things and me, Raycroft, and Fernandez will play whatever games shitty eastern goalies like to play.”
Spin the Blocker? Pin the Tail on the GM?
Yeah dude, Toskala is single handedly trying to bring me down. His 17.22 GAA last night was fucking fantastic.
I never actually hated the Wings before this year. Now that they’ve beaten us twice and got away with pitchforking Louie out of the way, I can’t stand em. But they’re probably like “awwww look at the cute wittle nuckies, they can’t score on us OR defend against us.”
Spin the Blocker? Pin the Tail on the GM?
Hee! Hey Andrew, did you end up keeping Sami on your D?
But they’re probably like “awwww look at the cute wittle nuckies, they can’t score on us OR defend against us.”
Hey, it could be worse. No matter how awful they are or how good we are, Florida seems to just have our number. At least they’re not the ones you hate to see coming…it’s embarassing!
Unfortunately, nothing seems to be going right in the IPB league.
Ditto for me. My goalies are somehow both managing to lose even when they play against each other, which seems like all the time. I have three, and they all seem to be in the same game all the time. I should just dump one, just to shake up the rest of the team. “See what you made me do???” I’ll say.
“But they’re probably like “awwww look at the cute wittle nuckies, they can’t score on us OR defend against us.””
I’m with ya, alix. A-hole Red Wings are saying that about everyone this year.
“Hee! Hey Andrew, did you end up keeping Sami on your D?”
I did…He’s in the starting lineup. Also, Boyle came off the IR yesterday, so my D is shaping up nicely. I’ll have to make a decision on Salo when Weber comes off the IR though. Gonna be a tough call.
No matter how awful they are or how good we are, Florida seems to just have our number. At least they’re not the ones you hate to see coming…it’s embarassing!
The Devils can top that — we can’t beat Atlanta!
Well, at least everyone is getting screwed by them, I guess. Florida hey? That is kinda weird. Maybe Sid doesn’t like hot climates or something :p
I dunno, Schnookie…at least they have Kovalchuk and Hossa, and I know firsthand how good of a goalie Hedberg can be. Meanwhile, can you even name one Panther? I can’t!
The Devils can top that — we can’t beat Atlanta!
But neither could the Rangers.
My goalies are somehow both managing to lose even when they play against each other, which seems like all the time.
That keeps happening with me, too. I feel like all Luongo / Giguere / Roloson just keep playing each other every game.
Florida hey? That is kinda weird. Maybe Sid doesn’t like hot climates or something :p
This WAY precedes Sid; in fact, it started with Florida’s very existence. Sometimes I wonder if we’ve ever beaten them once during the regular season. They even beat us in the playoffs (1996)!
There’s this thing with Floridian teams and Pittsburgh ones. Jacksonville usually beats the Steelers too.
Bryan Allen is a Florida D-man. But the only reason I know that is because he used to be a Canuck.
Florida hey? That is kinda weird. Maybe Sid doesn’t like hot climates or something
alix, I think you’re on to something. I remember last year, when the Pens were breathing down the Devils’ neck for the division lead, they gave us some breathing room by losing in Florida. And I was so sure going into the game that they were going to win, but then I saw Sid looking like he’d fallen asleep on the beach or something, for how sunburned he was. And I knew there was no way he could play well with that kind of sunburn! :D
(Having the whole “red hair/fair complexion” combo, I am constantly being harangued by people that I need to be careful about sunburns. Doctors, family members, coworkers, strangers on the street [I'm not kidding] — they all seem to think I haven’t figured this out yet. So I’m not one to want to give advice about this sort of thing, but let me take a moment here to address Sid directly: Sid, you really need to be careful in the sun with that kind of fair skin.)
Meanwhile, can you even name one Panther?
Salei-of-game!
Joe Nieuwendyk used to be a Panther.
Hmmm, maybe some Floridian(?) but a curse on Pittsburgh long ago. Wow, I totally read over Boyle being of IR. Yay! my D is shaping up. Time for my climb out of the basement to begin.
“Bryan Allen is a Florida D-man. But the only reason I know that is because he used to be a Canuck.”
Ha! Good call alix! You can thank Allen for sacrificing himself in order for you guys to get Louie.
Let’s not forget Jokinen! He’s nails on my fantasy team…
Oh, there’s plenty. Olli Jokinen, Tomas Vokoun, Jay Bouwmeester, Josef Stumpel, Nathan Horton, Stephen Weiss, some kid named Olesz.
Not bad for a guy who professes to ignore everything on the east coast, I’d say.
Not bad for a guy who professes to ignore everything on the east coast, I’d say.
Maybe you have an affinity with the Panthers because they also play in a beachy, palm tree-y area? Because goodness knows I can’t name that many of them! (I would have been able to come up with Jokinen and Bouwmeester, and someone could probably torture Vokoun out of me, but no others.)
Ha! Good call alix! You can thank Allen for sacrificing himself in order for you guys to get Louie
I should send Allen a Christmas card every year! Poor Sid. I don’t even like to move off my couch when I have a sunburn.
Hey Earl, are you close to any of the fires down there? I know that it’s been Effing crazy in Socal over the past few weeks…
Dang! I have to drop someone don’t I to get Boyle back in? I feel so heartless. I would be the worst real life GM ever.
I imagine I’m somewhat close to some fire, but I’m so bad at following the news, even when it’s local and in my face.
Basically, on my end, the skies have been really crummy and the drives to and from work are up-in-the-air (sometimes bad traffic, sometimes way light traffic). But living by the ocean has its perks, too. Our air quality seems to be better than most and we don’t have any falling ash around us.
It’s around, though. I heard that Marchant’s and one other player’s family had to be evacuated as a precaution.
OK I was just kidding about the Panthers, but hey, you guys you know more than you think you do!
Bowmeester gives me nightmares.
Schnookie, Sid had probably never been outside before that Florida trip. I’m sure someone told him to just stay on rinks where he belongs. ;)
Speaking of, currently circulating the burghosphere is this display of Sidlove from Minnesota.
(For the record, he’s right about the arena. The Penguin community was extremely vocal throughout all those lean years, but the politicians didn’t listen until it came down to the wire, which coincided with Sid’s arrival. I wouldn’t give him up for anything, and I think getting him did help, but I think the national media overstates how much.)
Bowmeester gives me nightmares.
He doesn’t seem to have done anything this year. Unless he suddenly started producing after I dropped him, which wouldn’t surprise me one bit.
“I imagine I’m somewhat close to some fire, but I’m so bad at following the news, even when it’s local and in my face.”
Crazy, I know that things are insane down there. Almost every single fire dept. and Forestry Dept. station I have in my jurisdiction has sent engines and personnel down to help.
We were all born in the LA area, and Boomer has told us on a few occasions about the time, right after our older sister was born, when fires were creeping close to the neighborhood. They were put on an evacuation notice, I guess, and Boomer and dad drew up a list of what to take with them that read:
1. Diapers
2. Kate
They were put on an evacuation notice, I guess, and Boomer and dad drew up a list of what to take with them that read:
1. Diapers
2. Kate
Hahaha!
I guess they figured if they didn’t bring diapers, there’s no point in bringing Kate.
I guess, and Boomer and dad drew up a list of what to take with them that read:
1. Diapers
2. Kate
That’s either really bad prioritization, or really good prioritization. I’m not sure which.
Almost every single fire dept. and Forestry Dept. station I have in my jurisdiction has sent engines and personnel down to help.
You have a jurisdiction? Nice.
Fires are scary. Especially encroaching wildfires. You have time to think about it, but… you have time to think about it.
Quick question for anybody here who’s proficient in time-wasting online:
Do you know of any good online, free computer games that don’t require registration that you would enjoy playing if you were a developmentally disabled adult?
“You have a jurisdiction? Nice.”
Sounds fancy, doesn’t mean much though. Just the counties that have been assigned to me.
Basically, I call to talk about their 9-1-1 equipment and the dispatcher on duty tells me that everyone is down in LA/Orange County.
“Do you know of any good online, free computer games that don’t require registration that you would enjoy playing if you were a developmentally disabled adult?”
http://www.armorgames.com
There’s like 500 games there, for free!
He doesn’t seem to have done anything this year.
Doesn’t matter when he plays us! Penguin. Killer. Erg.
They own us almost as much as Mario does. :P
Fire is the thing that scares me most, I think. I frequently lie in bed awake at night worrying about all the things that would be awful if my house caught fire, from the threat of actually being hurt all the way to the horribleness of losing everything I own. I generally end up fixating on my contingency plans for catching and rescuing all of our cats, and then I imagine having to drive all around town trying to find a hotel I can stay at that allows pets. Fire is terrible!
Do you know of any good online, free computer games that don’t require registration that you would enjoy playing if you were a developmentally disabled adult?
I like Wellgames. You have to submit a player name, but it’s not a registration. You can string random letters together if you want.
Crap, sorry. Endtags are biting me in the ass lately.
Thanks, andrew! I hadn’t seen that site before. I have no idea which games will go over well with this group and which won’t, since I haven’t played any of them. Well, this outta make for a fun night at work tomorrow as I try them all out, right? :)
“Well, this outta make for a fun night at work tomorrow as I try them all out, right? :)”
At the very least!
Yeah, try them out for sure. Some of the games are light and fun and quirky, others are Effed up. So, you have a wide variety at your disposal!
I like Collapse on Yahoo games (and elsewhere, I’m sure), but it might be a little fast.
I generally end up fixating on my contingency plans for catching and rescuing all of our cats
My roommate and I definitely have cat contingency plans. For awhile after we got the second cat we only had one cat carrier and we had very serious discussions about which cat would better tolerate being put in a pillowcase.
Oh, thanks Pensgirl! That one looks like a great option as well! I’m thinking “Patchworkz” might be just the ticket for one of the women in the class. Thanks so much! I’m stressing so much less about Thursday’s class now! Thanks guys!
“we had very serious discussions about which cat would better tolerate being put in a pillowcase.”
HA! I can totally see it.
My cat would be impossible to find in a fire. She hides….well. I think we would just leave all the doors open and hope she gets her ass outside!
“Patchworkz” might be just the ticket for one of the women in the class.
Good, I hope it works out. I think there’s enough to choose from skillwise to appeal to a range of people.
we had very serious discussions about which cat would better tolerate being put in a pillowcase.
That’s fantastic!
My cat would be impossible to find in a fire. She hides….well. I think we would just leave all the doors open and hope she gets her ass outside!
We’ve got a couple that are like that. And one who just loves nothing more than being locked in a cat carrier. So I figure we’d end up going probably 3-for-6 if pressed to collect them all in a short period of time. I freqeuntly envision catching them, not bothering trying to jam them into carriers, and instead just tossing them all loose into the back of one of our cars. That would make for some safe getaway driving, right?
“I freqeuntly envision catching them, not bothering trying to jam them into carriers, and instead just tossing them all loose into the back of one of our cars. That would make for some safe getaway driving, right?”
Only if one of your cats is Toonces.
My cat was PISSED last night at all the thunder. She hid in a kitchen cupboard and would not come out. She finally emerged, determining it was safe, two hours after the rain was gone. What a wuss!
That would make for some safe getaway driving, right?
My roommate just did that to take her cat to the vet, and he ended up crawling into the footwell. You know, on the side with all those pesky pedals. Yikes!
I love Toonces! And your poor cat, hating the thunder! We always laugh and laugh at ours when they spazz about thunder, because we’re very sensitive and caring about our pets.
“We always laugh and laugh at ours when they spazz about thunder, because we’re very sensitive and caring about our pets.”
That’s my dog. She’s my “ferocious” pit bull who wines and cries and runs in circles around the living room when there’s thunder. We have a good laugh at her expense.
We always laugh and laugh at ours when they spazz about thunder, because we’re very sensitive and caring about our pets.
I don’t think you truly love your pets if you don’t mock them at least a little. I used to bark in unison with my late, great dog…he had this pattern he’d follow so it was easy to just go right along with him. He’d get so mad at me!
I don’t think you truly love your pets if you don’t mock them at least a little.
Only a little? Hee hee! We are merciless in the mocking of our pets. We’ve got one cat who thinks he’s a human — he’s just the most arrogant, swaggering, obnoxious cat ever. And he got fleas when he was an adolescent, so we put a flea collar on him (his first-ever collar), and he ended up bucking around the kitchen floor like a bronco, then finally just collapsed on his side and lay there, motionless, until someone took the collar off him. This was about 14 years ago, and we still laugh at him about it.
My cat would be impossible to find in a fire. She hides….well.
While not particularly small by NYC standards, my apartment is decidedly not big. The cats don’t have a hiding spot we don’t know about.
That’s hilarious, Schnookie!
My dumbass cat got a collar the day after she made her first excursion from the house without our knowing (she got lost). So we found her and got her into the collar. That very night We were awakened by a noise that I had never heard before. She had managed to get her lower jaw caught under the collar. I had to cut it off…what a mess! We make fun of her for bring such a moran that she couldn’t perform the simple task of wearing a collar without injuring herself.
We make fun of her for bring such a moran that she couldn’t perform the simple task of wearing a collar without injuring herself.
That’s something I would never let a cat live down!
My dumbass cat
That’s what we call my roommate’s cat. He has more than earned the nickname…he has a thing for drinking water that’s had chemicals added to it, like car washing soap, or bleach. Also, he likes to chew plugged-in wires.
“That’s something I would never let a cat live down!”
For sure!
“The cats don’t have a hiding spot we don’t know about.”
oh man, our cat has like 20 spots.
You all are making my cats sound downright brilliant here. :) (One of them actually is super smart, the other is just of average cat intelligence.)
“You all are making my cats sound downright brilliant here.”
Stop bragging Meg! Just ’cause your cats aren’t certifiable doesn’t mean you get to rub it in.
He has more than earned the nickname…he has a thing for drinking water that’s had chemicals added to it, like car washing soap, or bleach. Also, he likes to chew plugged-in wires.
That’s pretty extra-special dumbassed. We have one who thinks she needs to hold her water bowl down while she’s drinking, like the water’s going to run away or something if she doesn’t pin it. So she very gingerly submerges her foot as deep as it can go, and then drinks, and then very happily jumps into the nearest lap she can find so she can tread all over you with her soaking-wet foot.
Stop bragging Meg! Just ’cause your cats aren’t certifiable doesn’t mean you get to rub it in.
Seriously! And I’m proud that one of our escape-minded cats is not so great at escaping because she always runs to the hinge side of the door when you go to open it.
Also, he likes to chew plugged-in wires.
Heh. My aunt’s dog chewed the vacuum cleaner and refrigerator cord all in one week. He was darn lucky he didn’t electrocute himself.
“she always runs to the hinge side of the door when you go to open it.”
That is so awesome. You’d think she’d figure it out!
“My aunt’s dog chewed the vacuum cleaner and refrigerator cord all in one week.”
One of my dogs chewed all of the lighting off of the deck at my last house. Not just the wires, the actual lights too. Of course I also caught her gnawing on the siding. Yeah, the wood siding of the house….she got a little bit of an ass-whooping for that one.
Also, he likes to chew plugged-in wires.
Heehee. Back when we had a rabbit the thing would go to town on any and all loose wires in the house. You’d find him under the stove chewing on something or other. Sometimes I wonder how we survived that bunny…
Stop bragging Meg! Just ’cause your cats aren’t certifiable doesn’t mean you get to rub it in.
Well, it’s not actually a good thing! The smart one gets bored and follows whoever is around, nagging because she needs to be entertained like a child. She causes all kinds of trouble.
I do know someone whose cat can open doors, though. That’s pretty impressive. Apparently he’s even been known to manage sliding doors.
Of course I also caught her gnawing on the siding. Yeah, the wood siding of the house….
A friend of mine took her dog up to stay at her parents’ cabin up in Nova Scotia once. Her dad had built the entire cabin himself, not necessarily well, but he’d done the whole thing (she said there weren’t any 90-degree angles anywhere in the entire house). So my friend wakes up after the first night there and discovers the dog has not only consumed two entire bottles of shampoo, but has also “eaten a huge hole in the shape of canada” (her words) out of the linoleum on the kitchen floor. My friend ran out to buy a big rug for the kitchen and, I presume, just pretended she had no idea what had happened.
If Petr Sykora were an IPB Irregular this is the point where he’d pipe up about the many times he had to rush PJ to vet after he got electrocuted chewing through wires!
I’m too lazy to read this whole thread. Did we wish Staffy an official IPB happy birthday yet?
the dog has not only consumed two entire bottles of shampoo, but has also “eaten a huge hole in the shape of canada”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::
“I do know someone whose cat can open doors, though. That’s pretty impressive. Apparently he’s even been known to manage sliding doors.”
My cat tries, but she just gets her claws stuck on the screen of the slider. We then proceed to slide it back and forth while she angrily cries and hisses as she scoots back and forth on her hind legs. Pure comedy.
“If Petr Sykora were an IPB Irregular this is the point where he’d pipe up about the many times he had to rush PJ to vet…”
Poor PJ! Too bad none of us has a ferret, or muskrat, or whatever the hell that thing was.
Poor PJ! Too bad none of us has a ferret, or muskrat, or whatever the hell that thing was.
Chinchilla, I think.
“Did we wish Staffy an official IPB happy birthday yet?”
Is it really his birthday?
If so, then happy birthday, Drew! I hope all your death metal wishes come true.
I had no idea it was Staffy’s birthday! Happy birthday, Staffy and may Red Seal Peach/Invisible Children hit it big this year!
Speaking of Red Seal Peach, one of the teen librarians is holding a Guitar Hero party on the other side of the library. It’s killing me hearing people having fun with Guitar Hero while I’m stuck working! It’s brutal!
Joke’s on you, Pookie — it seems everyone else here was invited to the Guitar Hero party, too! HA HA!
I know, I was just thinking that. See if I care! I’ll have my own party over here and it’ll be super-fun, and it’ll be amazing!
Sorry guys, a week away from the desk has made my life…well, busy, I guess. It’s a nice change, but it’s keeping me from my IPB posting duties. Gimme a couple of days and I’ll be fully commited again.
I’m still stuck on the Guitar Hero party in a library idea. Libraries never did anything cool like that when I was a kid. Granted, Guitar Hero didn’t exist, but you get the point.
Chinchilla, I think.
My best friend used to have two chinchillas. They’re the softest animal in the world, and they’re an anxious, nervous mess. They can actually die from being too freaked out all the time.
They’re actually pretty cute though.
They can actually die from being too freaked out all the time.
And PJ lived for… well, now that I think about it, I have no idea how long he lived. Huh. But still, living with Petr Sykora must be a death sentence for an anxious, nervous mess.
Libraries never did anything cool like that when I was a kid.
I know! They just installed new furniture in the Teen Zone here and it’s all cafe tables and a diner booth and bean bags. I’m like, “Hey, all we got was a stick in the eye.”
“But still, living with Petr Sykora must be a death sentence for an anxious, nervous mess.”
Living with him? Hell…just watching him on the power play will send you into seizure.
Hell…just watching him on the power play will send you into seizure.
Sykora’s pretty much the only one on our PP who ISN’T sending me into seizure. There’s a song a local DJ wrote back in the 90s…
Shoot the puck!
Shoot the puck!
Can’t you hear us shout it?
Shoot the puck!
Shoot the puck!
We’re the experts do you doubt it?
Shoot the puck!
Shoot the puck!
You might just score I bet…
Pass and pass and pass and pass
PUT IT ON THE NET!!!
Get it in there
(Get it outta there)
Get it in there
(Get it outta there)
Get it in there
HIT SOMEBODY!!
living with Petr Sykora must be a death sentence for an anxious, nervous mess.
Perhaps this is why PJ ran away that one time…
They just installed new furniture in the Teen Zone here and it’s all cafe tables and a diner booth and bean bags. I’m like, “Hey, all we got was a stick in the eye.”
Yeah, I hear tell people actually read back then. Now, not so much. You need those beanbags and cafe tables and whatnot to tempt those fickle teenagers into coming into a library.
Or you could just set up Goose outside the library doors. That would at least draw the girls (and probably a bunch of boys)…
“There’s a song a local DJ wrote back in the 90s…”
Sounds like a very repetitive song. By chance, was it a house/trance DJ who wrote it?
I LIKE crazy Petr Sykora! He needed that chincilla’s tender loving! It’s not his fault that PJ was afraid of intimacy.
Living with him? Hell…just watching him on the power play will send you into seizure.
:^::::::::::::::::::::
Man, I’d love to spend the rest of the afternoon making fun of Petr Sykora, but stupid library patron asking me to look up stuff for her! Darn her!
(I did laugh uproariously a few minutes ago when a customer reported that someone had gone through and tore the pancakes section out of the cookbook she had checked out. Paulie needs to find a less destructive way to find the Pancake Connection. The next customer who came to the desk asked for a book of business plans. For a second I though it was an IPB conspiracy! But the 3rd person asked for bank rates rather than for a copy of “Shattuck Boys” so it must just be coincidence!)
Tough break for the Stabitty’s with Toskala last night, andrew. Heh heh.
Sounds like a very repetitive song. By chance, was it a house/trance DJ who wrote it?
I only printed the refrain. There’s actually a story in the verses.
I LIKE crazy Petr Sykora!
Watch it with the blanket statements, there Katebits! Never forget this is a guy who faked an injury to get out of playing in the playoffs!
Oh, right. Well, I like the crazy dude who was so lonely he got a chinchilla, named it Petr Jr, and let it wander around the house in hopes that it would curl up in bed with him at night.
I like the crazy dude who was so lonely he got a chinchilla, named it Petr Jr, and let it wander around the house in hopes that it would curl up in bed with him at night.
I would bet money that it hid all the time. And I don’t bet.
Well, I like the crazy dude who was so lonely he got a chinchilla, named it Petr Jr, and let it wander around the house in hopes that it would curl up in bed with him at night.
That makes him sound so pitiable…
“Tough break for the Stabitty’s with Toskala last night, andrew. Heh heh”
That’s bullshit….stupid Toskala…couldn’t just stay with the Sharks….stupid 17.22 GAA….grumble grumble.
“I only printed the refrain. There’s actually a story in the verses.”
I figured as much…just givin’ you a hard time!
someone had gone through and tore the pancakes section out of the cookbook she had checked out. Paulie needs to find a less destructive way to find the Pancake Connection.
Ha! Do you think Ms.Pancake left Paulie for Mr.Waffle? I didn’t know Petr Sykora faked an injury in the playoffs! I kinda liked the weirdo too.
I figured as much…just givin’ you a hard time!
You know, I am so unhip that at first I didn’t even recognize you were referring to the “nightclub” DJ while I meant a “radio show” DJ. I was thinking “what morning show plays trance music?” o_O
That particular DJ is hilarious…he has several great hockey- and football-related songs that pretty much nail how Pittsburghers think.
Pensgirl, that song sounds just like the lady that was sitting behind me at the game last night!
Except it was more like, HIT SOMEBODY
HIT SOMEBODY!
HIT SOMEBODY!
HIT SOMEBODY!
HIT SOMEBODY!
SHOOT THE PUCK!
I wanted to hit somebody, myself. :D
stupid 17.22 GAA…
WOW.
“he has several great hockey- and football-related songs that pretty much nail how Pittsburghers think.”
That’s cool. Although I stand by my claim that “Cheechoo Tameu” is the best hockey…nay…sports song ever written.
“I wanted to hit somebody, myself. :D”
Ha! Sometimes you just gotta belt yourself in the jaw. I’ll be at the SJ/LA game on Friday. Better not be any freakin’ annoying fans behind me! (Actually, I think I’m the annoying fan. The drunken annoying fan.)
A couple of years ago, this guy from Crotia(or at least he claimed to be from Crotia) released this song called “Making love to the Vancouver Canucks” Funniest shit ever. “Markus Naslund is the capitaine, win win win Vancouver Canucks, score score score Vancouver Canucks and make love at center ice” And it was this horrible dance/techno music. It was fanatastic.
I wanted to hit somebody, myself. :D
You mean you didn’t?
I wanted to hit somebody, myself. :D
I admit that I can get carried away with that kind of thing too. However, I don’t yell at the team collectively, just players individually, and only when I think they could actually hear me.
Last year I was sitting in the Igloo Club (where the -ookies were) for a game. As we had a power play ending in the far zone and everyone’s (quiet) attention was on that, I yelled at Fleury to bang his stick on the ice louder. He definitely heard me!
I’m so jealous of you game goers! I have to wait until December!
Better not be any freakin’ annoying fans behind me! (Actually, I think I’m the annoying fan. The drunken annoying fan.)
If there aren’t any annoying fans around you, then you’re probably it.
It actually didn’t start bothering me until the Stars started coughing up the game, so it might have had something to do with that.
stupid 17.22 GAA…
WOW.
Yeah, that big fat turd Toskala laid last night put me in an early hole against the Fancy Bits. He’s riding the mother-effing pine for the rest of the week.
I admit that I can get carried away with that kind of thing too.
I do, too. If you were watching the game and somebody kept yelling, “It’s right behind you, moron!” That was me. :D
At one point Ribeiro was dipsy-doodling all over the ice and a fan near me yelled, “LOOK AT ‘IM!” I thought that was funny because I was thinking the same thing: Wow, look at him.
Better not be any freakin’ annoying fans behind me! (Actually, I think I’m the annoying fan. The drunken annoying fan.)
I’d rather have someone who yelled in my ear all game than the duds who were in my section last Friday. I’d even rather have someone who was rooting for the other team, because at least then the seat would have gone to someone who actually gave a shit. If you’re stupid, but you CARE, DAMMIT, I’ll give you a pass.
When I’m at a game I’m working at least as hard as the players. Crowds have been known to have an impact!
“As we had a power play ending in the far zone and everyone’s (quiet) attention was on that, I yelled at Fleury to bang his stick on the ice louder.”
Oh, see you’re a constructive yeller. I am not…at all. Last game I was at, I think my most constructive piece of advice was “PUNCH CHARA IN THE MOUTH!!!” Folks in the section around us usually get a kick out of my buddies and I. We’re not that annoying.
Damn, now I’m stupid. My game was Saturday!
I think my most constructive piece of advice was “PUNCH CHARA IN THE MOUTH!!!”
I’m sorry, I’m not getting the part where that isn’t constructive. If someone can reach Chara’s mouth to punch it, he should.
I love the funny yeller. Just the drunk yeller is annoying, but if he’s funny, I’m all for it.
Crowds have been known to have an impact!
O heck yeah. Both positively and negatively.
I think the only thing I ever yelled from the stands that someone heard was during an intermission when I yelled at the referee skating by that he shouldn’t to quit his dayjob. Good God, that duo was atrocious.
Can I ask some fantasy d advice? Now that Boyle’s off IR, who’s the one I should drop: Shane O’brien, Bryan Allen, Sergei Gonchar, or Hank Tallinder?
Just the drunk yeller is annoying, but if he’s funny, I’m all for it.
OK, so I play flute, and I like football, so in high school and college I was in the marching bands. Believe it or not, where I went to school this was actually a pretty cool thing to do (especially college where you’d get a free bowl trip to places like New Orleans and Miami, plus a couple hundred bucks in per diem).
In college, we sat on the 20 yard line right behind the opposing team’s bench. We had a couple of guys who would do research on opposing players, and then we’d taunt them during the game. Things like “Hey Sixty-Two! No means no!”
It’s amazing we never got beaten to a pulp, considering we had to go stand mere feet behind those guys before halftime.
who’s the one I should drop: Shane O’brien, Bryan Allen, Sergei Gonchar, or Hank Tallinder?
Just the thought of dropping Tallinder is going to send Heather into a fit of rage…
AKA, I have no good advice. Sorry Alix.
Drop Gonchar….so that I can pick him up!
“I love the funny yeller. Just the drunk yeller is annoying, but if he’s funny, I’m all for it.”
We usually make the people around us laugh a little. One that made me laugh last game was “Erhoff, for christs sake! Use your speed! Pretend you’re on the Autobahn!”
“Just the thought of dropping Tallinder is going to send Heather into a fit of rage…”
Very true…but Tallinder is just not a fantasy D-man (again, except for Heather, different kind of fantasy though!) I would say him or maybe O’Brien, depending on how he (or Allen) is performing.
I always liked “Get on your knees ’cause you’re blowing the game!” You can yell that at anybody – your guy, their guy, the ref…
I know Mags! Cover your eyes Heather. I think he might be the best one to drop though…I do love the Swedes. Damn.
“Get on your knees ’cause you’re blowing the game!”
That is a good one! Last game I yelled at the bench: “Hey guys, just take the rest of the night off. Don’t worry about it…Michalek will just do it all his fuckin’ self!”
Obviously I was less than thrilled at the how they were playing.
Tallinder is just not a fantasy D-man (again, except for Heather, different kind of fantasy though!)
*headdesk*
“Get on your knees ’cause you’re blowing the game!”
Yeah, that’s a classic.
Is it horrible to admit that in college, we also would yell “Kill! Kill! The blood makes the grass grow!” when an opposing player received a clearly minor injury?
Is it horrible to admit that in college, we also would yell “Kill! Kill! The blood makes the grass grow!” when an opposing player received a clearly minor injury?
No. We do that.
Oh, good, that makes me feel better. We were not nice.
Now ALL my collegiate memories are coming back. When we played West Virginia, we’d yell “Go back, go back, go back to the woods. Yo’ momma is yo’ sistah and yo’ team is no good!”
Yeah, that big fat turd Toskala laid last night put me in an early hole against the Fancy Bits. He’s riding the mother-effing pine for the rest of the week.
Don’t worry, Andrew. The Fancy Bits are totally lazy. They’ll find a way to squander their lead! I have WAY too many Sabres and Lightnings on my team. :P
Pensgirl, :^:::::::::::::::::
We’re not that creative. Nasty as all hell, but not creative. I dunno, the crowd may be, I just know I’m not.
The last football game I went to, the guys in our section had this whole song about the opposing quarterback. It was fantastic. All I can remember though is “has no friends and he likes other men” So I dropped Hank. I feel terrible. But I had to get myself out of the basement somehow. We’ll make him video tributes when he comes to play.
“I have WAY too many Sabres and Lightnings on my team.”
Damn those lazy punks! I have a feeling my goaltending is going to be letting me down all season long. Hopefully my offense will keep me going. Oh crap, I’m the IPB fantasy equivalent of the Penguins.
“We’ll make him video tributes when he comes to play.”
SOO funny! that’s awesome alix!
“Erhoff, for christs sake! Use your speed! Pretend you’re on the Autobahn!”
See? That’s good stuff.
The last football game I went to, the guys in our section had this whole song about the opposing quarterback. It was fantastic. All I can remember though is “has no friends and he likes other men”
Songs are the best. “If I had the wings of an eagle, and the ass of a great buffalo, I’d fly over UVA’s campus, and shit on the Wahoos below! OH, U of V-A, sounds like some bullshit to me, to me, U of V-A, sounds like some bullshit to me!”
I can’t remember the rest but I know there was a soap-dropping lyric and one about giving a UVA girl a nickel for sex and getting back change.
alix, I love Hank but he’s not a GREAT fantasy d-man. It’s okay, I know it. I know his plus/minus will work itself out of the dumper eventually but his other numbers will probably stay pretty level. That said, he would really love the video tribute. As would some of his fans.
I’m the IPB fantasy equivalent of the Penguins.
If it makes you feel any better, loads of people projected you would make the cup finals and beat the Red Wings!
giving a UVA girl a nickel for sex and getting back change.
I think that’s one every single college has a variety of.
HA! That’s awesome!
I’m so glad you don’t hate me Heather :p I have to go inject myself with some caffeine and then I have some chores to do. Have a good night everybody!
Bye Alix! See you later!
Bye alix! have a good night!
I might be late on this, but that was absolutely brilliant!
Maybe our boys need some Lego therapy.
Maybe our boys need some Lego therapy.
:^:::::::::::::
Who couldn’t use some of that?
Maybe our boys need some Lego therapy.
I dunno, we may be beyond that *grimace*
On that note, I’m going to bed. Wish me luck in the fight against my jetlag! (please, I really need some uninterrupted sleep ><)
G’night, Mags!
Hm…if Sid’s first shift is any indication, he’s gonna have a good game. He already has me yelling “oh, yes!” (for the hockey. Get up outta that gutter!).
You’re prescient, Pensgirl!
Do I know my boys or what?!
That’s like the much happier version of what we did when we called that Devils 0-4 loss in Philly!