Several years ago, when the Sabres were in the midst of a goaltending controversy, we stumbled across a trade suggested by a fan on the interwebs. This well-reasoned, highly-plausible proposal was as follows: The Sabres would trade Ryan Miller and Martin Biron to the Devils for Martin Brodeur and Colin White. The fan explained that this solved everybody’s problems, and was one of those win-win deals for both teams; the Sabres would be giving up a headache of a goaltending controversy and be acquiring a hall-of-fame netminder still in his prime, and would shore up their D with a top-pairing, physical defenseman with a Devils pedigree and two Stanley Cup rings. Meanwhile, the Devils would be giving up the cornerstone of their franchise and their top D-man and be getting in return the entirety of the Sabres’ goaltending controversy. It made perfect sense! How did that trade, and the billions like it suggested by fans every year, not get made? Because professional NHL general managers are chicken, or stupid, or both, that’s why! In the spirit of that trade that never happened, here are a few proposals of how we’d be moving players around right now if we were GMing the Devils and any number of other teams.
1. John Madden and Johnny Oduya for Vincent Lecavalier.
Everyone knows the Lightning have depth issues, and are a bit thin on the blue line now with Dan Boyle needing more surgery for his freakishly injured wrist. So this trade would address both of those needs, giving them a suddenly-spry third-line center who’s found an unexpected bit of scoring pop and a young, salary cap-friendly defenseman with that coveted Devils pedigree. Meanwhile, giving up Lecavalier would give them a little more breathing room under their horrifically mismanaged salary cap, thereby affording them the opportunity to find some NHL-caliber goaltending. As for the Devils, this would be a tough one to swallow for the fans, but eventually they might warm to Lecavalier filling in the gaping hole left at the top line’s center after that guy, what’s-his-name, left as a free agent. Sure, on paper this looks heavily stacked in the Lightning’s favor, but in the long run this would probably end up being a pretty even trade.
2. Kevin Weekes, Cam Janssen and Johnny Oduya for Henrik Lundqvist.
This is another one that, on paper, really seems to be stiffing the Devils, but hear us out. The Rangers, like the Lightning, are in tight under the cap, and have a lot of money locked up in a very few forwards. It only makes sense for them to trade Lundqvist now while they can still get something back for him, instead of losing him to the greener pastures of free agency. This deal would give them a replacement goaltender who also happens to be a guy who was Tom Renney’s goalie of choice during the 2006 playoffs — clearly the man has a ton of faith in Weekes. In Cam Janssen they’ll be picking up a “bash brother” to accompany Ryan Hollweg on what is sure to be the hardest-hitting (and most suspendable) line in hockey, making the Rangers the most fearsome team in the big, bad Atlantic Division. And in Oduya they’ll be getting the low-priced, puck-moving defenseman their stagnant offense needs. It seems like a lot to give up, but we’ve got a lot of faith in this Lundqvist kid. We think he’ll be a capable backup for Marty, and is a sound investment in the Devils future.
3. Patrik Elias and Johnny Oduya for Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews.
Now that Bill Wirtz is gone and the Blackhawks are finally allowed to see the light of day again, it’s time for them to make a bold statement that the time is now for the team and its fans. And nothing makes as bold a statement as going after, and catching, the one that got away, right? There was all kind of innuendo in the summer of 2006 that the Hawks were in the running for the big free-agent prize that was Patrik Elias, a signing that would have meant he and long-time buddy Martin Havlat could pair up on a totally kick-ass line that would never dream of falling short of expectations. Elias, of course, got cold feet at the last moment and re-upped with the Devils, but that’s nothing that can’t be remedied now with a little give-and-take between these two teams. Also thrown into the mix for the Hawks would be a steadying presence on the blueline in Oduya, a point-producing defenseman who came up under the tutelage of the Devils vaunted defensive development system. In return the Hawks would be giving the Devils some young zip to toss in with their currently moribund offense. Kane and Toews have a lot of upside, though, so it would be worth it to the Devils to have to put in the work of shaping them into full-time, regular NHLers.
4. Johnny Oduya, a fifth-round draft pick and a conditional draft pick for Henrik Zetterberg.
The Red Wings seem very happy with their free agent acquisition of Brian Rafalski, and we can’t blame them — the guy’s a power play point-scoring machine. But he’s also got a lot of miles on the odometer, and we worry they might find themselves, in a not-too-distant future, yearning for the days when Raffie was a young, slow, turnover-prone PP specialist. Well, have we got the player for them! Johnny Oduya is a considerably-less-expensive (and not at all commensurately less talented) version of Rafalski, but clocks in at about 25 years younger. We realize that kind of youthfulness makes the Red Wings nervous, but we’ll be able to alleviate some of their anxiety about such a risky pick-up by tossing in a choice draft pick. In exchange for this offensive-defensive juggernaut, we’ll take Henrik Zetterberg as a rental; if we can re-sign him in ’09, we’ll send another fifth-rounder Detroit’s way.
5. Johnny Oduya for Scott Stevens.
“Wait,” you’re thinking, “Didn’t Scott Stevens retire? As a Devil? Years ago?” Yes, he sure did. And we think we can solve a boatload of problems for several parties if we can swing this deal to bring him back to the team. Of course we don’t expect him to play — he’s 700 years old and retired with concussion problems. But here’s the thing: we’d be sending Oduya to Stevens’ house, giving Donna Stevens a younger, quicker guy to help out with chores around the house and to help keep up with the kids. In return, Scott would get a chance to enjoy all-expenses-paid trips to exotic places like New York City, Philadelphia, Long Island, Pittsburgh and… well, that’s about it. And what would the Devils get? Well, we’d get a chance to reminisce about better times while not having to watch Johnny Oduya on the ice. Actually, come to think of it, we’ll throw in Brian Gionta and Patrik Elias while we’re at it.
Speaking of old-fashioned jokes that nobody ever gets–er, thinks are funny–I still crack myself up at the prospect of Johnny Oduya’s nickname being “Li’l Dab”.
It’s a reference to something that’s before my time, which is saying something. So I like to think that’s why it’s not catching on, and not because people just don’t think it’s funny. :D
I have to confess, Patty — I don’t think that’s funny. Just kidding! I actually don’t get the reference, which means I’m probably going to be stripped of my “old fuddy-duddy” card soon.
I’m okay with it if you don’t think it’s funny, Schnookie!
I’ll explain it to the kids. :P
Back in the 50′s there was a hair product called Dippity Do. It might even still be around. Their main tagline was:
“A little dab’ll do ya!”
My granddad and my dad and my mom and her sister and brothers used that line in jokes my whole childhood. About once a year I’d have to ask where that comes from and they’d tell me about Dippity Do again.
See? “Li’l Dab” Oduya! Get it?
I see trade proposals all the time that just make you want to say, “Now, what in the world would possess them to do that?”
What was it… brylcreem?
And again, as merely a casual observer of everything NJ Devils hockey, I totally concur that trading this guy, well… even for nothing, would be nothing short of pure genius on the part of the GM.
Patty, now that you’ve explained it, that’s totally funny. I just had no idea what you were talking about pre-explanation.
I totally concur that trading this guy, well… even for nothing, would be nothing short of pure genius on the part of the GM.
And trading him for Zetterberg will win us the Nobel Prize for hockey! (Really, I think we can get this deal done. It makes so much sense for both sides!)
See? “Li’l Dab” Oduya! Get it?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Seriously, the main reason I want Oduya traded is that every time I see him I just can’t resist saying “Oh do ya?” Because I’m retarded or something. So “Li’l Dab” is at least one degree of smarter and more subtle than the best I can do for him.
What was it… brylcreem?
Well, carlito, I guess it was brylcreem! I could have sworn it was Dippity Do, but that might have been another joke of my parents’.
And trading him for Zetterberg will win us the Nobel Prize for hockey!
If Mike Keenan was Detroit’s GM, you might be able to talk him into it!
I see trade proposals all the time that just make you want to say, “Now, what in the world would possess them to do that?”
My recent favorite was that Sundin-to-the-Sens deal THN (was it THN? Or just some crazy Leafs writer?) floated earlier this week. See, THN? We’re just as capable of making up ridiculously stupid trades as the “pros” — don’t you want to put us on your payroll, then?
If Mike Keenan was Detroit’s GM, you might be able to talk him into it!
If wishes were horses…
On the other hand, we got Nik Hagman for a seventh-round pick. And we didn’t even have to give them a bag of pucks.
Oh, wait. That was Mike Keenan, wasn’t it?
Well, it’s 8:15 and I’m still at work, so I’m hitting the road. Almost time to kick some Shark ass.
(I’m so going to regret that remark.)
it was brylcream and a little dab of it would do ‘ya and i won’t say how old that makes me except that the current madison square garden was not completed until i was almost out of high school…lol…and the most expensive seat in that garden was only six bucks…
Hi don! Thanks for clearing that up for us! (And no worries — we don’t see age here at IPB! :P)
Aw, our latest Rochester callup just got the overtime gamewinner. He was so adorably excited.
Aw, our latest Rochester callup just got the overtime gamewinner. He was so adorably excited.
I’m sure I can think of a few Devils we could package for that kid…
Hey, he’s the leading scorer in the AHL last I checked. We want Brodeur. And maybe a draft pick as well.
Hey, he’s the leading scorer in the AHL last I checked. We want Brodeur. And maybe a draft pick as well.
Dude, you can have him, and his .888 save percentage and everything.
3. Patrik Elias and Johnny Oduya for Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::
I nearly choked on my laughter!!!
I could have sworn it was Dippity Do, but that might have been another joke of my parents’.
Patty, we gymnasts used Dippity Do in the 80s and even 90s to shellack our hair so it would stay in place during meets.
Dude, you can have him, and his .888 save percentage and everything.
Oh, I don’t actually want him (particularly now that Miller no longer has an equally bad save %).
Man, you would not believe what is on FSN Southwest right now. It’s supposed to be the pregame show, but it’s women’s college volleyball!!
Surely they’ll cut to the game when it starts. If it were any other team, I’d just go to CI, but other broadcasts are usually blacked out. I’m a little scared.
Oh, whew! I’m okay. I’m okay. That was close.
Glad to hear that it turned out alright, Patty!
Oh lopsided trades! I could wax poetic about you ALL day. What joy you’ve given me. Luongo bless Mike Keenan for being such a damn idiot :p
To quote Kaiser Chiefs’ “Ruby” (kind of):
Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny (ah ah ah ah ah ah)
O do ya do ya do ya do ya (ah ah ah ah ah ah)
Know what you’re doin’, doin’ to me? (ah ah ah ah ah ah)
Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny
Also works fantastically with Franz Ferdinand “Do You Want To?”
O do ya, do ya do ya wanna wanna go
Where I never left you before?
Cuteness:
http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/photo;_ylt=Ape6tHxghd6RzI_.Gke1tt482bYF?slug=349f24085c314612bca93c9dcd8cdac1.bruins_sabres_hockey___nydd105&prov=ap
Josh, those songs are beautiful! *wipes away a tear*
Patty, I’m glad your game started! We’re finishing up ANTM now, and are about to turn it on, so make sure things are interesting for us, okay?
Want me to tell you how it’s going so far?
Ooooh that’s adorable, Heather! I Love the winning celebration cuddle.
That’s a great picture, Heather! I’m only slightly ashamed to admit that I watched the goal celebration 4 times because it was so adorable.
You should only be ashamed if you didn’t watch it over and over in slow motion. :D
That’s a super-cute picture. I love it when they get all excited and act like little kids. There’s a purity to that kind of joy.
It was very cute. Eventually the whole team was over them, everyone patting Clarke on the head, him just beaming ear-to-ear. I think Meg mentioned he was just called-up so everyone was extra excited for him.
I think Meg mentioned he was just called-up so everyone was extra excited for him.
Yeah, they’re so good about making a big deal for the newbies, aren’t they? That’s fun to watch.
Nazzy never celebrates his own goals, but when one of our young guys gets one he goes nuts. It’s adorable.
Nazzy never celebrates his own goals, but when one of our young guys gets one he goes nuts. It’s adorable.
Naslund was popular in Pittsburgh…we still talk about how dumb it was to let him go. Although I kinda suspect he had to leave what was then our star-studded team to get a chance to develop.
Mario would always retrieve the puck to give to the player after a first goal. He acted like doing that was his job.
Mario would always retrieve the puck to give to the player after a first goal. He acted like doing that was his job.
The Devils might be dysfunctional when it comes to winning and shit, but they all, like, fight each other for the chance to be the guy who picks up the landmark pucks for other guys.
The Devils might be dysfunctional when it comes to winning and shit, but they all, like, fight each other for the chance to be the guy who picks up the landmark pucks for other guys.
Once, after a first goal – can’t remember anymore whose it was – the goalie shot the puck out of the net in disgust (you know how they do that sometimes) and it ended up going over the glass. I swear I’ve never seen Mario so pissed. And that’s saying something!
What about Matvichuk? He should be thrown in with Oduya for players that must go.
Turco’s on a point streak!
What about Matvichuk? He should be thrown in with Oduya for players that must go.
We considered trading Oduya for Matvichuk, straight-up. :P (Actually, I was proposing Grant Marshall, Richard Matvichuk and Johnny Oduya for Jonathan Cheechoo [Pookie pointed out we'd be taking him off SJ's hands and totally be doing them a favor] and Joe Thornton [who would have to be thrown in to get us to give up such great depth talent for a pile of puke like Cheechoo]. I’m not sure why we didn’t include this in the post.)
Roenick’s plan is to hit all the little guys from behind into the boards.
What the hell happened to Matvichuck, Ookies? He used to be famous! Now I hear he’s been sent down.
I heard that the Canucks are going to take Matvichuk due to a bunch of the big guys being out for a while. HAHAHA.
What the hell happened to Matvichuck, Ookies? He used to be famous! Now I hear he’s been sent down.
Sutter didn’t think he could skate anymore. Sutter decided he wasn’t as good as, say, Johnny Oduya. Or Sheldon Brookbank. (To be honest, after watching him in the practices we went to, we were inclined to agree.) It seems most everyone else agreed with Sutter, too, and apparently Lou couldn’t find anyone to trade for him.
“Great Scott! A Salute to Scott Stevens” will begin at noon on Thursday on FSN NY and include seven hours of programming leading up to the Devils game against the Philadelphia Flyers at 7:00 p.m. Programs scheduled to air include:
Stevens’ first game as a Devil (10/5/91: St. Louis Blues at NJ Devils) – 12:00 p.m.
Devils Classic Contests:
5/22/95: Eastern Conference Semifinals, Game 2: NJ Devils at Pittsburgh Penguins – 2:00 p.m.
5/26/00: Eastern Conference Finals, Game 7: NJ Devils at Philadelphia Flyers – 4:00 p.m.
“A Captain’s Legacy” (2/3/06: Stevens’ Banner Raising Ceremony) – 6:00 p.m.
Holy moly! I knew MSG was doing this for Messier, but I didn’t think they would do this for the Devils. Nor did I think my wonderful FSNY region 3 would get this, but we do! And really now, “Great Scott”? Was that the best you could come up with MSG/FSNY?
And really now, “Great Scott”? Was that the best you could come up with MSG/FSNY?
I know! Scottie’s probably like, “Yeah, I’ve never heard that before.”
I know! Scottie’s probably like, “Yeah, I’ve never heard that before.”
He probably thought when he retired, that he would stop hearing that phrase. Surprise! The MSM isn’t that clever. We’d be asking too much of them to think of a better line to use.
Oh and before I was going to throw in the “less talented” brothers (minus Jordie) of the Devils that were only signed because they were brothers in the Oduya/Matvichuk trade to __insert team here__, but I wasn’t clever enough to make up a situation so I left it out.
This has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but I feel like I had to share. This evening I had my first ever instance of a patron asking me where in the library he’d find the porn section. This caused some conversation just now with Boomer who suggested he had been looking for “Debbie Does Dallas”. I was like, “Yeah, whatevs.” I turned my attention to something but then realized Boomer was amusing herself with coming up with similarly illiterative titles like “Stephanie Sates Seattle” all of which were rightly getting zero response from the rest of us here. But then she muttered “Felicity Fucks Fairbanks” which, well, got a response. Oh man. That Boomer. Fairbanks? Really?
Genna, you’re a GENIUS! Why didn’t we think to package Stephen Gionta and Mike Pandolfo for Alex Ovechkin?
We definitely have another Pandolfo brother, don’t we? I thought we had more brothers than that, but agreed we should get Ovechkin for them. I’m sure he’s yearning to play with Zubie again.
That is hilarious, Boomer!!!!
Oh right, we have a Pandolfo cousin, too. That’s right, Caps — we can give you double the Pandolfo for Ovechkin! Step right up! And yes, Ovie has GOT to be yearning to skate with Zubie.
Here’s our studio show during the intermission:
John Rhadigan: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Craig Ludwig: munnamunnamunnamunna.
Why won’t he speak up?
Patty, that studio show sounds FASCINATING! It’s like Ludwig was channeling the audio from that Shark Byte thing they just showed us on the Sharks feed with all the guys golfing. Everything was just like a low hum.
Man, I hate Jeremy Roenick. *seeeeeethe*
I don’t know why I thought we had so many more family members in the AHL, but that Pandolfo cousin Mark doesn’t even look close to the Pandolfo brothers.
I have to agree with Patty, that was hilarious Boomer!
Sorry to interrupt, but has A Oil been around lately? Her boy Peter Mueller (formerly on the Everett Silvertips) just scored a hat trick against the Ducks.
5-5, 10:30 left in the 3rd.
Genna, you’re right — Mark (I bet they pronounce it “Mahk”! Tee hee!) Pando looks NOTHING like the real Pandos. I think he’s an imposter.
On that note, I think I have to go to bed. I made the mistake of having a glass of wine with dinner… and we sat down for dinner at 10:30. I don’t know how the Europeans do it.
Oh man. Boomer, you rock. I’m cracking myself up right now about the Oilers getting the first overall pick but having to give it to Anaheim! I’m not really sure why that hadn’t sunk it yet, but it’s killing me now.
UGHHHHHSAPOIFJ:SALDF*^#R(*
WHY IS MY CENTER ICE DEACTIVATED AGAIN! I FREAKING HATE TIME WARNER CABLE!
This is the second time this has happened and I’m about to kill some representatives.
Good night Schnookie!
And sorry Genna! That sucks.
Her boy Peter Mueller (formerly on the Everett Silvertips) just scored a hat trick against the Ducks
Wow. That sounds like a rocking game. Go Phoenix!
Razor just said that Roenick got his 400th goal six and a half years ago. :D
Here’s another goofy trade: Afinogenov for Modano. Its allegedly on hockeybuzz, but I can’t find it there. Either way, it gets a good chuckle.
Eventually the whole team was over them, everyone patting Clarke on the head, him just beaming ear-to-ear.
Those guys celebrated like they just won Game 7 of the SCF, which was nice to see. I’m getting tired of seeing the ‘kicked puppy’ look Sabres on the TV.
I’m getting tired of seeing the ‘kicked puppy’ look Sabres on the TV.
Not even if that puppy is a pommerdoodle?
I’m starting to get a little scared about the Devils game tonight. I mean, what if they come out and look just as bad as they did on Monday? I’m resigning myself to a losing season, but there’s still a part of me that believes the guys should have at least enough heart to look even one minutes worth of better.
Face it, we’re stuck with Oduya :(
Face it, we’re stuck with Oduya :(
I won’t face it! I wont’! NOOOOO!!! *runs away crying*
He’ll probably get a hat trick or something tonight. We’ll lose 8-3 instead of 8-0.
Here’s another goofy trade: Afinogenov for Modano.
Where do people come up with this stuff?!? Someone on one of the Devils blog suggested Elias for McCabe.
I also think that Karel Rachunek is really Dan McGillis…one day he’s going to rip his mask off, scooby-doo villian style, and be like “and I would have gotten away with it, it if weren’t for you meddling kids!”
Not even if that puppy is a pommerdoodle?
A kicked pommerdoodle? Call PETA!
Mike Heika of the Dallas Morning News mentioned in his blog that he actually called Modano a few days ago to ask about an Eklund rumor that he was sick of the way he was being treated by the Stars and had asked for a trade!
Of course, Modano said words to the effect of: Get that shit outta here!
Stupid tags. Sheesh.
Patty, I like how that tagging turned out there, actually. It made the whole thing seem very dramatic!
OOkies, Im sending an email…my pic of Clarkson isnt spectacular, but I like it.
I believe any picture of Clarkson is spectacular, Pam.
I also think that Karel Rachunek is really Dan McGillis…one day he’s going to rip his mask off, scooby-doo villian style, and be like “and I would have gotten away with it, it if weren’t for you meddling kids!”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::
I have to admit that I’m not actually all that scared for tonight’s game. The Devils are what they are, and what they are is not very good. What I’m getting scared about is that Lou’s going to trade away a hottie or two, and the team will still miss the playoffs. If we’re not going to win anyway, can we keep our hotties?
Pam, I’m going to go check IPB’s inbox right now!!
OH MY GOD, PAM!!!! HOLY CRAP! You’ve made my day. Hell, you’ve made my week! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Ok, so it is spectacular. Actually, I really think it’s a great pic, but if I said that, and you didn’t think so, I would have felt bad. By saying it wasn’t spectacular, you can only be pleasantly surprised. (Thanks for teaching me to be a pessimest, Dad!)
Yeah, you really sold that first pic short. You’re so sneaky, being all, “Yeah, smiley, laughing, perfect-looking Clarkson picture? It pretty much sucks.” I appreciated the surprise, though, with the way my morning’s been going. And goofy-assed Travis! So darling! And no-longer-looking-quite-so-trapper-keeper Zach! (He’s growing into his looks nicely, isn’t he?) I wish I knew how to share these with everyone here… But since I don’t, I’ll just keep raving about how foxy they are! :P
Hmm, you should be able to save them on your comp from the email, no? So however you usually post pictures should work here too…Oh I dont know
I’m clueless about links and stuff like that. My approach to posting pictures is to say to Pookie, “Hey, can you post that?” Maybe she’ll have an answer later!
Good mornign IPB!
Clarkson pictures we can’t see… I feel like we’re being held out on. *sniffle*
I feel like we’re being held out on. *sniffle*
I know . . . so sad.
Let me see if I can make this work:
CLARKSON
Is it too late to say (cue the music)
Oduya, duya, duya, duya wanna dance?
Let me see if I can make this work
It doesn’t work (at least for me) but it was a valiant try. :D
Pam is my new hero. HOW were you that close to him and not leap over the table?
Sorry, Meg! (It’s working fine for me… I’ll make myself feel better about my incompetence by repeatedly hitting that link, I guess.)
It worked! It worked! Hell-o David!
by repeatedly hitting that link, I guess
Pensgirl over the past 10 seconds…
(Click)…OH!…mmmm…(back)…(type)…(click)…OH!…mmm…(back)…(click)…HOLY HELL!…sigh….
Man, I wish I could print that out and take it to my lunch with me…I never thought I’d be upset about going to my yummy crabcake place, but Clarkson is so much yummier.
It worked for me…hmm. And Pensgirl, there were security guards by each table, I’m assuming to prevent crazed females from jumping the players!
G&W?
Here’s the other one of Clarkson that Pam sent. He looks a little… uh… well, he looks like he has to work pretty hard to be able to spell his own name, but we’re not complaining:
CLARKSON
He looks like a MiniMite with a crayon
Upon examining that second photo: the security guard was a woman? I could’ve taken that bitch! What was I thinking?
Schnookie, I’m one of those people who gets inches from the table when I’m writing, and I passed the Maryland bar exam.
We’ll just pretend He R A Genius. ;)
Not that any of us would actually need him to talk.
Oh, and also?
Mummy I want one!
Mmmmm! What a way to start the day :)
Schnookie, I’m one of those people who gets inches from the table when I’m writing, and I passed the Maryland bar exam.
Actually, I am too. And I’m a mouth-breather. So I’m really not one to talk. Clearly he’s every bit as smart as I am, which is, I assure you, very, very, VERY smart.
Clearly he’s every bit as smart as I am, which is, I assure you, very, very, VERY smart.
This is the route I’m taking.
Oh, and I also never entirely got the concept of how to hold one’s pen correctly, so I hold my pen a bit like a muppet would. And to make matters worse I can’t tie my shoelaces with one loop — I’m a two-bunny-ear girl. So I don’t know where I get off making fun of other people looking like idiots when they’re, oh say… signing autographs.
Plus my hot boys finally play tonight, and I woke up to snow. Yay snow!
In the interest of fair play, and to share the smorgasbord of fantasticness that Pam brought to my life today, here’s a little hott acorn action for the Travis lovers among us:
TRAVIS
It works now–I don’t know what my computer was doing before. Yay, that’s a nice pic!
Sigh! I loooove Travis. Look at those cute little cheekbones.
smart? you really want him smart? who cares? let’s be clear here. women can do objectification too.
Plus my hot boys finally play tonight, and I woke up to snow. Yay snow!
Snow AND hockey? What’s better than that?
Hmm I am thinking the Devils have to go back to the old ugly dayy to be successful. It is the reverse of the Pens’ CF. Maybe they can make a trade that woudl be mutually beneficial CF-or anti-CF wise.
smart? you really want him smart? who cares? let’s be clear here. women can do objectification too.
He doesn’t have to be smart, but looking flat-out doltish tends to kind of put a damper on my ability to objectify a guy. :D
But wait! There’s more! Pam is a conquering hero, people!
ZACH, AND HIS EYELASHES
Schnookie, I couldn’t tie my shoes until second grade, and I still can’t do long division. It takes me forever to figure out what my change should be at a store, I use the EZ tip calculator on my cell phone at restaurants, and I use a calculator to balance my checkbook. So if Mr. Clarkson needs to concentrate on writing his name, so be it.
(Did I mention that I’m a PhD candidiate in Mechanical Engineering?)
PS. I love Travis too, he’s cute, in a goofy way. Kind of like Andy Greene.
And finally, this tour of Devils hottitude comes to a delicious end:
ZACH
I love Travis too, he’s cute, in a goofy way. Kind of like Andy Greene.
I’m glad to hear I’m not alone on the Greener thing. He looks like a turtle, but there’s something about him that I just adore. Definitely a sort of gentle goofiness. Travis, though, gets less and less goofy with each passing day. I don’t know how he’s doing it, but he’s morphing from a dorky-looking Waldorf kid into a walking, talking sex bomb. (See, Sid? All you have to do is lose that softness in your cheeks!)
I’m also glad to hear that I’m not the only one here who’s only marginally skilled at basic human functions like shoe-tying! (I’m pretty good at making change, though, thanks to having worked as a bank teller for a few years.)
I knew going out to get dinner would end well. But never could I have hoped it would end this well *sigh* It’s ok Devils, suck all you like, at least you’re pretty.
I think Zach and Flutter are somehow related. Same eyes. Intriguing. Thank god she doesn’t have those eyebrows though.
Wow, Devils. You’re doing a fine job!
“Snow AND hockey? What’s better than that?”
Not freakin much! Maybe a Travis/Zach sandwich with me in the middle :p
Wow. I didn’t think Zach and Travis could get any hotter, but apparantly they can.
Oh, and the only reason I can tie my shoelaces properly was because I was determined to have that damn “I can tie my own shoes!” certificate from school before my sister. If she’d got it before I did I don’t think I’d have bothered learning.
Wow, Devils. You’re doing a fine job!
I feel like SUCH a lame-assed fangirl when I say this, but the looks of the team are really helping me deal with them being so awful this year. The games end, and they’re wretched, but then we get postgame interviews with these guys and I’m left feeling totally satisfied by the entire entertainment experience. I’m so shallow! And so easily manipulated!
If she’d got it before I did I don’t think I’d have bothered learning.
Hee! I never could figure out why, if the two-bunny-ear method could get the job done as well as the one-bunny-ear one, I had to learn the more difficult one. So I just didn’t bother graduating up to more sophisticated shoe-tying technique. This is why I’m a college graduate working in a “GED-required” field: I utterly lack ambition.
You know what I just noticed about David? He has a butt-chin.
HA! me too. After that revolting Flyers game, I was ready to murder all of them in their sleep. But then the next day they released this photo shoot of them all reading kids books and looking insanely adorable, and I was much more mellow.
You know what I just noticed about David? He has a butt-chin.
That’s the difference between a man-crush and a crush-crush. I’ve been aware of the butt-chin from day one! :P
I never could figure out why, if the two-bunny-ear method could get the job done as well as the one-bunny-ear one, I had to learn the more difficult one.
I’m so with you. My dad likes to say I’m like water, I flow through the river bed of least resistance.
You know what I just noticed about David? He has a butt-chin.
You hadn’t noticed? How? It suits him so well!
Hee! I never could figure out why, if the two-bunny-ear method could get the job done as well as the one-bunny-ear one, I had to learn the more difficult one.
See, I learned the one-bunny-ear method because I couldn’t master the two-bunny-ear method. I was just completely incapable of doing it the “easy” way.
I was just completely incapable of doing it the “easy” way.
And that, Meg, is why you blog about going to readings of “The Trojan Women” and ballets and whatnot, and I sit here writing things like, “I think David Clarkson is hottt.” Being the lowest common denominator is just so much easier! :P
Pam/Shorty, you are my hero. Simply put. My hero!
I just taught a computer class for developmentally disabled adults and afterwards, one of the students gave me a big high five. The instructor from the center looked shocked and said to me, “That’s a first! He never does that!” After getting the warm and fuzzies I said, “Well, that just made my day, then!” One peek at that first shot of Clarkson and I’m like, “Fuck that shit, bring on the hot hockey players!”
That first shot of Clarkson is unbelievable. Although now that I know he can be photogenic, I’m wondering why most of the other pictures of him on the interwebs are so bad. Clarkson needs to work on that. I can help him with that.
The second shot shows he’s just careful about making sure he’s signing that autograph just right. He knows it will be cherished, so he doesn’t want to screw it up! And hey, maybe what he was writing was instructions with diagrams explaining how to tie shoes with one loop. Or maybe he was writing all the answers Pam will need in getting her PhD. Because he’s smart like that.
As for Travis my initial reaction in IM to Schnookie was that it was a little goofy. She seems to indicate that I was wrong. Further research needs to be done. As soon as I can tear my eyes off Clarkson.
Zach. * contented sigh*… Zach. I adore that he’s growing into those Parise good looks. He’s leaving that Trapper Keeper in the rearview mirror and speeding straight towards being as hottt as Jordy. And I’m sooo not complaining. Keep up the good work, Zach!
As for Travis my initial reaction in IM to Schnookie was that it was a little goofy. She seems to indicate that I was wrong.
I dunno… it probably is goofy, but Travis has bewitched me. I have no powers of logic or reason when I see him. All I see is “blindingly hott.”
I have no powers of logic or reason when I see him. All I see is “blindingly hott.”
Which is, by the way, 100% of the reason why I haven’t even noticed he’s not scoring. It was brought up at the end of the last broadcast that he’s in as bad a slump as Gio and Patty, and I was like, “Whaaa? SINCE WHEN??? SHUT UP, DANO! WHAT DO YOU KNOW????” Travis really brings out the best in me.
Being the lowest common denominator is just so much easier! :P
Hey, I couldn’t do something that everyone else could . . . I think that’s fairly lowest common denominator on my part. :)
And Travis totally is hot.
The first Clarkson picture isn’t working for me =( Travis looks goofy in the picture, but I have to say it’s the goofiness that draws me to him.
For some reason Zach reminded me of this in the first picture with his head up. That or he came back from a slumber party and just took the hair ties out of his hair.
Marty and Stan Fischler look so freaking young (so Stan just looks the normal old) in this game they are airing.
Oh, I agree that Traivs is a) totally hot, b) a Waldorf school sex bomb and c) so not in a scoring slump, I don’t know what Dano was smoking. :) But going from that shot of Clarkson to that one of Travis was a bit jarring. I will now go back and attempt some futher research on that picture of Travis.
For some reason Zach reminded me of this in the first picture with his head up.
Oh what, you don’t like the Pzachinator look? :) I will say, it’s not as bad as it’s been. I think he’s figuring his hair out. He does still seem to be getting it cut at an alarming rate. I think he has Boxworthy measure the spikes every morning and if one hair gets a milimeter past the measuring device he demands a fresh haircut.
Hahaha, I don’t mind it when all the spikes are going in one direction. Those splitting of the spikes in the two opposite directions making it look like a fountain or something, that bothers me. Looking closer, it kind of looks like he ran his fingers through his hair.
Pookie, that created a very sad image of Boxworthy in my head. I imagined him with a miniature lawn mower going back and forth on top of Zach’s head.
I guess Zach’s hair doesn’t really bother me. He can wear it however he wants, and I wouldn’t throw him out of bed. (Okay, if he sported a mullet, I would.)
I imagined him with a miniature lawn mower going back and forth on top of Zach’s head.
:^::::::::::::::::::
That or he came back from a slumber party and just took the hair ties out of his hair.
Oh, that’s so what Zach does! (And I love the image of a turtle in a butler outfit mowing Zach’s hair.)
I am always surprised at how Marty looks so young in games from, like, last week. I don’t know how he does it, but highlights of him from just the beginning of last season make me exclaim, “When was he EVER that young?” I can’t imagine what games from, like, a decade ago would make me think. (As for Stan looking younger — that’s kind of scary!)
I think the only way I could have a legitimate problem with Zach’s hair is if he grew it out too long. He looks like he’s got the kind of hair that would get really Snape-like (I have no proper words… sorry). Considering he seems to like having his hair cut (as previously established in this space) I don’t think that’ll be a problem.
He looks like he’s got the kind of hair that would get really Snape-like (I have no proper words… sorry)
:^:::::::::
That was such an entertaining thing to imagine, but it’s a good thing Lou wouldn’t deal with that funny business.
I can’t tell you how relieved I was to start seeing some flattering pictures of Clarkson. I was doing some half-assed searches in yahoo hockey photos and wasn’t really seeing it. But then I saw part of a game and some closeups and I can totally see it.
I was doing some half-assed searches in yahoo hockey photos and wasn’t really seeing it. But then I saw part of a game and some closeups and I can totally see it.
And if that’s the only success the Devils accomplish this season — showing you the true beauteousness of our resident shit-disturber — then so be it. :D
Those are some truly crazy trades. I like it! I think the Zetterberg trade was my personal favorite.
Hey, andrew! How ya feelin’?
“Hey, andrew! How ya feelin’?”
Ah, the trademark Patty trashtalk!
No! I’m just saying hey! Nice to see you!
:P
What a strange game:
1) Nabakov looked like a frickin’ slice of swiss cheese. 3 goals on 6 shots. Super.
2) Sharks pressed really hard, but I’ll give it to your boys…Turco was Phe-nom-i-nal. Unreal.
3) Not that it matters now, but I thought that was some of the worst officiating I seen all season.
The officiating WAS awful.
Very classy fans there, giving Modano two ovations. Very nice. (Probably one of the reasons I inexplicably like the Sharks.)
I think the Zetterberg trade was my personal favorite.
I’m partial to the Kane/Toews one, but I’m not going to complain about getting the Zetterberg one done, either.
One thing about the officiating, though, was that it inflates our penalty killing numbers. Which I like.
I’m partial to the Kane/Toews one, but I’m not going to complain about getting the Zetterberg one done, either.
Sometimes you just have to settle for what you can get.
*groan* We got Zetterberg? *resigned sigh* Fi-ne! We’ll see what we can do with that pile of puke…
:)
Sometimes you just have to settle for what you can get.
It’s true. It’d be tough one to swallow, but given time I might be able to accept Zetterberg-for-Oduya.
“One thing about the officiating, though, was that it inflates our penalty killing numbers. Which I like.”
Except for the PP goal from Carle, of course.
“Very classy fans there, giving Modano two ovations. Very nice.”
Not to mention your boy JR giving the extra bit of cheering from the bench.
“It’d be tough one to swallow, but given time I might be able to accept Zetterberg-for-Oduya.”
If only Zetterberg played for Edmonton. You might have a shot there.
Except for the PP goal from Carle, of course.
Yeah, but the PK got that one back.
Not to mention your boy JR giving the extra bit of cheering from the bench.
Yeesh. Oh, we’re best friends! I’m so proud of him! Ick.
We didn’t get shots of JR at the bench. Did you? We got the intermission interview with Ralphie.
3) Not that it matters now, but I thought that was some of the worst officiating I seen all season.
Last night there was a great moment where Paul Gaustad stopped a couple of feet in Tim Thomas. Thomas fell right over and looked at the ref who shook his head… but didn’t call a dive. It totally didn’t matter in the long-run but it was pretty much the very defintion of a dive.
Patty, the Sabres penalty killing was awesome last night, including a late third period kill. Very sexy!
Except for the PP goal from Carle, of course.
That was a 4-on-3 goal, which is such an odd situation to defend. I wasn’t surprised we gave that one up.
But if you just look at 4-on-5 penalty kills this season, the Stars have given up 4 and scored 4. So I’m pretty sure that puts our penalty kill at One. Hundred. Percent. Oh yeah.
Wait. What? Dammit!
“Yeah, but the PK got that one back.”
Yeah…I know. You’re welcome.
I thought the worst was the disallowed Ozolinsh goal. That was rough. He’s a biiiig fan favorite in SJ and the fans really want to see him succeed. To have his first goal as a “Shark again” disallowed was pretty weak. (Not to mention it sort of took the wind out of the teams sails.)
Thank you, Heather! Penalty killing IS sexy.
Were you the one that was asking me if I root for penalties against? I thought that was silly at the time, but now I’m starting to wonder.
So I’m pretty sure that puts our penalty kill at One. Hundred. Percent. Oh yeah.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Razor was very impressed with Ozolinsh’s play last night. He looks like a good signing. As opposed to, say, some other signing, which will remain nameless.
Were you the one that was asking me if I root for penalties against? I thought that was silly at the time, but now I’m starting to wonder.
No, it wasn’t me. I’m too much of a PK lover to ask a question like that, especially when the PK is actually showing up and playing well.
“We didn’t get shots of JR at the bench. Did you? We got the intermission interview with Ralphie.”
I was watching the Sharks broadcast, so, yeah….lots of JR. They put the camera on him for both of Modanos goals. Stupid!
“Patty, the Sabres penalty killing was awesome last night, including a late third period kill.”
Hell yeah it was! I was so proud of those little guys! And what about Thomas waiving his arms and flailing after running into the back of Vanek (who was OUTSIDE of the crease) on the first Sabres goal. Hilarious!
I love it when our penalty kill makes the other team’s fans boo them.
“Razor was very impressed with Ozolinsh’s play last night. He looks like a good signing. As opposed to, say, some other signing, which will remain nameless.”
HA!
Ozo has been pretty solid, especially for being 7th or 8th on the depth chart.
And take a look at Mike Chen’s post about JR’s value as a free agent signing in terms of points on the dollar. The numbers might surprise you (also, they might not). Of course he’s biased as hell, being a JR/Blackhawks fan, but still…I hate to say it….gah…ack…Roenick is performing.
I go away for one little luncheon and Pam/Shorty has provided me with the yummiest of yummy deserts. I think I have sugar shock, but I am so very OK with that.
Oh Devils, you’re so hot my monitor just combusted.
Heather, by the way, I can’t leave a comment on Top Shelf so I’ll say it here, I’m giving you a standing ovation for that amazing post you wrote in response to Bucky. That. Was. Awesome. (Although, yes, I had to read it on a monitor that is now just a pile of smoking ashes after the parade of Devils pics from earlier…)
Oh, and if I already write a blog post a day, does that mean I have to do two-a-days for NaBloPoMo?
And what about Thomas waiving his arms and flailing after running into the back of Vanek (who was OUTSIDE of the crease) on the first Sabres goal. Hilarious!
Our seats last night were right behind the goal (uh, in the 300s) so Thomas provided us with quite a lot of entertainment. What a baby!
Heather, by the way, I can’t leave a comment on Top Shelf so I’ll say it here, I’m giving you a standing ovation for that amazing post you wrote in response to Bucky. That. Was. Awesome.
Thanks, Schnookie! It was so long and rambly that I wasn’t really sure it said what I was trying to say but people seem to be liking it so I’m happy with that :-)
Oh, and if I already write a blog post a day, does that mean I have to do two-a-days for NaBloPoMo?
Yeah, I think so. Sorry! :-)
Officiating in general is terrible this year. You should have seen the Preds/Wings game last night.
It was so long and rambly that I wasn’t really sure it said what I was trying to say but people seem to be liking it so I’m happy with that :-)
It was long, but I didn’t think it was particularly rambly.
It was long, but I didn’t think it was particularly rambly.
Okay, good! Sometimes I can’t tell the difference :-)
“Officiating in general is terrible this year. You should have seen the Preds/Wings game last night.”
Frisby! Long time no see, man. You need to be hanging out around here more, my Futurama references are going unnoticed.
Officiating in general is terrible this year. You should have seen the Preds/Wings game last night.
Every game this season we’ve seen Doc and Chico baffled by no fewer than three penalties, and they’re one of the broadcast teams that does the least whining about calls. I thought Drew Remenda’s head was going to explode last night, though. He was completely losing his mind after the goal was waved off.
“I thought Drew Remenda’s head was going to explode last night, though. He was completely losing his mind after the goal was waved off.”
I know you guys like Remenda and all, but dear god, he can be such a homer sometimes. We all know the call was bad! Calm down Drew!
Officiating has been wildly inconsistent. I’m seeing a lot of blatant penalties go uncalled and then guys get called for totally rinky-dink stuff.
Last night, Malone got away with a late hit and some goon Flyer got away with throwing his broken stick at Sid.
I know you guys like Remenda and all, but dear god, he can be such a homer sometimes.
I know! I absolutely loved how it sounded like he was going to need to be sedated after that call.
“I absolutely loved how it sounded like he was going to need to be sedated after that call.”
He does that at least once every other game. You can set your watch to it.
Awe man, I’ve been missing Futurama references? Man, work sucks.
There were two Predator goals dissallowed last night. You should have seen Dumont’s non-goal. The ref swears he blew the whistle before the puck crossed the line though. Too close to call on replay but I still can’t figure out why the play was goingto be called dead in the first place. Arnott’s goal was dissallowed because Osgood dropped his stick. So for good measure they also gave Arnott a goalie interference penalty.
my Futurama references are going unnoticed.
You’ve been making Futurama references?
Every game this season we’ve seen Doc and Chico baffled by no fewer than three penalties
RJ and Harry have certainly been baffled by some penalties–or rather, by some non-penalties–but they’re at an age where bafflement comes easily.
I know you guys like Remenda and all, but dear god, he can be such a homer sometimes.
As long as it doesn’t reach Colorado/NESN levels I’m pretty ok with that.
“So for good measure they also gave Arnott a goalie interference penalty.”
Nice. Yeah, Nabby lost his stick on a wrap-around block and the refs called a penalty shot because he “threw his stick”. What goalie, in their right mind, throws his stick?
The ref swears he blew the whistle before the puck crossed the line though. Too close to call on replay but I still can’t figure out why the play was goingto be called dead in the first place.
I learned, from a call several years ago, that if a ref even intends to blow the whistle he can wave off a goal. Like, he’s fumbling for it in his pocket, or he’s just reaching for it, or maybe he just wants to job your team. Isn’t that just fucking LOVELY?
I hope that’s no longer the case, but I never heard that as one of the rule changes.
“You’ve been making Futurama references?”
Thanks, Meg.
“but they’re at an age where bafflement comes easily.”
ZING! (Sadly, true)
“As long as it doesn’t reach Colorado/NESN levels I’m pretty ok with that.”
Nah, it’s like Schnookie said. He’s a homer, but more in a funny, exasperated kind of way.
RJ and Harry have certainly been baffled by some penalties–or rather, by some non-penalties–but they’re at an age where bafflement comes easily.
Amy said Harry kept confusing Pommers and Goose on the broadcast last night. Harry, if the guy you’re looking at is slamming himself into Chara it’s probably Goose.
Pensgirl, that’s still the case. There was discussion of it after one of the goal reviews during the playoffs.
That is the rule about whistle intent. It’s different with the game-ending timer, but the ref’s actual whistle sound is not the argument settler. I can see why they do that though.
Pensgirl, that’s still the case. There was discussion of it after one of the goal reviews during the playoffs.
I figured it had to be. Oh, so many of those waved-off playoff goals were total bullshit.
I hope that’s no longer the case, but I never heard that as one of the rule changes.
No, the intent to blow the whistle still counts the same as actually blowing the whistle.
Heather, I was able to leave a comment on Top Shelf, but it bears repeating here — excellent work! That post was phenomenal.
Amy said Harry kept confusing Pommers and Goose on the broadcast last night. Harry, if the guy you’re looking at is slamming himself into Chara it’s probably Goose.
Yeah, well, I’m not sure Harry can actually tell the players apart anyway.
Amy said Harry kept confusing Pommers and Goose on the broadcast last night. Harry, if the guy you’re looking at is slamming himself into Chara it’s probably Goose.
It was pretty bad. Not to mention that Goose has 4 inches and 30 pounds on Pommers (in addition to the bad hair).
Way back, I think it was 2003, we had two goals in that playoffs that were disallowed because the goal rocked off its back pipe. Didn’t come loose, didn’t affect the puck in any way, but replay showed a gap between the net and the ice when the puck went in. Happened TWICE that playoffs.
That is no longer a rule. I think the net has to be off its moorings or the puck had to come in from the side or something. Just rocking isn’t enough to disallow it.
I understand the whistle intent rule, but there was no explanation why he was blowing it in the first place. Crispy could only speculate that maybe the ref lost sight of the puck. It was clearly visible to the other 15 guys on the ice though.
and they’re one of the broadcast teams that does the least whining about calls.
The Rangers’ broadcasters were baffled about the SFW hooking call. They kept showing the replay and exclaiming that it was a good defensive move he made and blah blah blah blah. It was so blatantly a hooking call and they just couldn’t get over it or see that it was in fact hooking.
That is no longer a rule. I think the net has to be off its moorings or the puck had to come in from the side or something. Just rocking isn’t enough to disallow it.
Feels good to have your team lead the league to change a rule, doesn’t it, Patty? :-)
I understand the whistle intent rule, but there was no explanation why he was blowing it in the first place.
That’s usually the hard part.
That’s usually the hard part.
Is it dirty jokes time again?
Feels good to have your team lead the league to change a rule, doesn’t it, Patty? :-)
No, you’re right. It doesn’t make up for it much. :D
(Took me a minute.)
Is it dirty jokes time again?
Hey! You’re the one that brought up blowing stuff!
“Is it dirty jokes time again?”
Around here? Always.
I understand the whistle intent rule, but there was no explanation why he was blowing it in the first place. Crispy could only speculate that maybe the ref lost sight of the puck. It was clearly visible to the other 15 guys on the ice though.
Well I’ve seen it happen where a ref would have had to have x-ray vision to see the damn thing and doesn’t blow it.
I hate the intent rule. The whistle is the signal…it’s not the players’ problem if the ref can’t get to it fast enough. Going by what the ref is thinking allows him to make shit up. It doesn’t mean any of them WILL, but it’s asinine that they even could. Especially now after the whole NBA thing.
It was pretty bad. Not to mention that Goose has 4 inches and 30 pounds on Pommers (in addition to the bad hair).
I had a great laugh when I read that, Amy. They don’t look anything alike and they don’t play anything alike. They’re about as different as two guys can be outside of the fact that their names are right next to each other on the roster.
Thanks for the comment/compliment, Pookie!
Well I’ve seen it happen where a ref would have had to have x-ray vision to see the damn thing and doesn’t blow it.
Like Malkin’s first career goal. :P
I don’t like the pairing of Oduya and Rachunek for tonights game.
Me neither, Genna, but I do like that Sutter is making them do push-ups for missing the net.
Come to think of it, I really don’t like any of the Devils defensive pairings!
Come to think of it, I really don’t like any of the Devils defensive pairings!
Aww… poor Paulie! I actually thought he and Greener were doing okay. Of course, I’m also like Schnookie in that I’m completeing ignoring that Travis is in a goal-scoring slump, so… Sigh.
Me neither, Genna, but I do like that Sutter is making them do push-ups for missing the net.
Seriously?
Man, Sutter’s a hardass.
Man, Sutter’s a hardass.
You clearly have not been following this team this season, Meg — Sutter’s going too easy on them, in my opinion! :P
Oh, and as long as Oduya’s paired with Rachunek he’s NOT playing on the top defensive pairing. So I’m very pleased with Sutter’s decision here, in as much as any decision involving not benching Oduya can be pleasing.
Well, I can’t see the games, so clearly I’m not quite comprehending the full extent of their suckitude (not that I meant it was a bad thing for Sutter to be a hardass).
Like Malkin’s first career goal. :P
Yeah, it’s reeeeeal tough to see the puck when a guy’s left your whole team in the dust.
Taken from Gulitti’s article:
“After a grueling, hard-skating practice Tuesday, the Devils worked Wednesday on game situations: 5-on-5, 4-on-4, power play, etc. When a player missed the net with a shot, he had to drop and do push-ups.”
Yeah, it’s reeeeeal tough to see the puck when a guy’s left your whole team in the dust.
Perhaps it wasn’t his first career goal I’m thinking of then. I’m thinking of the one where Marty covered the puck and the official let Malkin have three more pickle-stabs at it. I recall at the time trying to be very big about it and just let it go, and Pookie didn’t get to see the game for some reason. So a few days later she randomly sees the highlight of the goal in a non-Devils context (some “plays of the week” thing or something) and was like, “What the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me that was such a bullshit goal? Where’s the whistle on that?” So now I complain about it at every opportunity. Because there’s nothing more constructive and healthy than harping on something as stupid and pointless as that.
I loved Gulitti’s article today, where is seemed pretty clear that Patrik Elias and Brent Sutter both have no idea what the other guy is talking about. Whatever it is that Sutter thinks is good hockey is obviously not the same thing Patty thinks is good hockey. Which, of course, has me every which kind of optimistic for this team’s chances.
…it seemed pretty clear that Patrik Elias and Brent Sutter both have no idea what the other guy is talking about
Oh, no…
Hey, everybody. I too should probably be pessimistic today, given that the Ducks got beaten by a Phoenix team dressing five defensemen yesterday, but hope stirs!
Niedermayer is secretly skating! Anyway, you can check out my second AOL cartoon, if you’re interested. I’m pretty happy at how well I’ve captured the white in Scotty’s beard.
In an unrelated aside, I’d like to mention that, having just had to do it, I really, really love refilling my stapler. There’s something so satisfying about it, and the knowledge that my stapler is prepared for any giant stapling jobs that might come our way is very soothing. I think being able to recognize the joy moronically simple things bring to your life is an important thing. Or I think I’m figuring out why I can’t tie my shoes like a grown-up.
Earl, that is a wonderful artistic rendering of Nieder’s beard! Nicely done!
When a player missed the net with a shot, he had to drop and do push-ups.
I can’t imagine trying to do push-ups on ice.
I think being able to recognize the joy moronically simple things bring to your life is an important thing.
I love a new gel pen, especially since I use them to color in the O’s and 0′s on reports during status meetings.
That’s great, Schnookie! *pats her head*
:^::::::
Earl, I love it!
And Schnookie, I know. Patty seems so desperate to do something right in Sutter’s eyes. He’s like that kid that takes on 20 million extracurricular activities and has perfect grades, but the father still isn’t impressed. You know, except for the fact that Patty is actually just being poop.
Perhaps it wasn’t his first career goal I’m thinking of then.
His first career goal is the breakaway where he deked all your defenders and then made Marty look like an AHL goalie. The one where he punched the glass to celebrate.
I love a new gel pen, especially since I use them to color in the O’s and 0’s on reports during status meetings.
I love gel pens so much! It’s absolutely amazing when you find a good one and it just flows so nicely, freely, and evenly. I just got way too excited over gel pens.
I’m off to class now since I skipped my 2:35! I would gladly skip my 4:00 if I didn’t already miss it on Tuesday.
I love a new gel pen, especially since I use them to color in the O’s and 0’s on reports during status meetings.
That’s a good one! I like the Pilot V Ball rollers, and I use them until they dry up. So starting a new one is a rare and really exciting thing. Well, “really exciting” by workplace standards, that is.
I can’t imagine trying to do push-ups on ice.
Since I can’t do them on dry land, I really can’t imagine them on ice either. I suggested to Pookie that Zach totally can’t do them either. He hires someone else to do them for him.
Aww, I kind of feel bad for Patty. Wait . . . I totally feel bad for Patty. He seems like such a nut.
Since I can’t do them on dry land, I really can’t imagine them on ice either.
Aw, c’mon. They’re 9% easier to do this year!
Last minute note on gel pens before I go. I really like uni-ball Vision Elite, Vision Exact (except the grip can be uncomfortable at times), and Pilot G-2′s. I don’t know why I felt the need to share this information. I think I’m trying to delay going to class, but this time I’m really going.
Have a good rest of the day everyone!
I’m in love with my Uniball Signo gel pens.
I tend to drag the point from letter to letter so I really like these that don’t leave big blobs everywhere. They make my handwriting look less sloppy.
“He hires someone else to do them for him.”
Poor Boxworthy, he’s got those tiny arms…not easy doing push-ups with those little guys. On the other hand, he doesn’t really have too do much to go up and down.
‘Aw, c’mon. They’re 9% easier to do this year!”
Hee! Woooohooo I finally get to watch hockey tonight! My boys are probably going to be ghastly after all this time off but whatevs. The ikea line has changed to the O boy line. I don’t know if that’s any batter.
See you later, Genna!
The ikea line has changed to the O boy line.
Maybe this is a stupid question, but why the O boy line?
O boy, this hurts?
Smart move, Canucks. I knew that nicknames were the cause of the poor play.
The ikea line has changed to the O boy line.
That has inspired me…I think any line that involves Clarkson should be the “Oh, yes” line.
Aw, c’mon. They’re 9% easier to do this year!
Poor Boxworthy, he’s got those tiny arms…not easy doing push-ups with those little guys. On the other hand, he doesn’t really have too do much to go up and down.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
And I’m with Earl — those bad nicknames have got to be contributing at least a little bit to the Canucks’ sucking.
It’s not a stupid question unless you’re a Canucks fan, Meg. The Sedins and Nazzy are all from Ornskoldsvik, Sweden. So O boys.
I see . . . yeah, that sucks.
That must be it! My team doesn’t actually just suck :p
The Sedins and Nazzy are all from Ornskoldsvik, Sweden.
Don’t forget Pahlsson! And some other guy, uh, Fors- something.
The Sedins and Nazzy are all from Ornskoldsvik, Sweden. So O boys.
It’s not because of their O face?
“And some other guy, uh, Fors- something.”
Forsbarg! Heh…I totally knew that one.
Hey, look who’s going to be immortalized in plastic.
Ohhh… and Crunchy’s immortalization in plastic is apparently packaged in a clamshell! I hope it’s suitably Botticelli-esque.
“It’s not because of their O face?”
HAHA! Maybe. We’ll have to ask their wives :p I didn’t know Pahlsson was too. That’s cook.
I hope it’s suitably Botticelli-esque.
That would so great if he were just holding a billowing scarf in front of his otherwise-naked self.
That would so great if he were just holding a billowing scarf in front of his otherwise-naked self.
I imagine he’d look not unlike Mr. Burns in Smithers’ fantasy of him jumping naked out of a birthday cake.
“I imagine he’d look not unlike Mr. Burns in Smithers’ fantasy of him jumping naked out of a birthday cake.”
:^::::::::: Oh man. Would he sing in that same high pitched seductive voice too?
Time for coffee. Talk to you all later. Wish the Nuckies luck!
Would he sing in that same high pitched seductive voice too?
OF COURSE he would! :D
OF COURSE he would! :D
Excellent.
I imagine he’d look not unlike Mr. Burns in Smithers’ fantasy of him jumping naked out of a birthday cake
Holy crap! Too much! Too much!
Earl, I love your latest cartoon! The beard is perfect! (And the punchline made me chuckle out loud.)
“I imagine he’d look not unlike Mr. Burns in Smithers’ fantasy of him jumping naked out of a birthday cake.”
Words fail me at the moment.
I’m surprised the Crunchy toy doesn’t have a giant freakish bobble head.
The beard is perfect!
It is perfect! I should probably retire now before I have to follow it up with a letdown.
(Actually, I got one cartoon already made that probably is suited for the weekend. It has nothing to do with any current events, will have trouble accompanying any story, requires some decent hockey knowledge, and is corny as hell!)
(I’m still waiting on approval from the head blogger, though. We’ll see if he’s a fan of light stupidity.)
(I’m still waiting on approval from the head blogger, though. We’ll see if he’s a fan of light stupidity.)
Well if he’s not there’s clearly something wrong with him!
(I’m still waiting on approval from the head blogger, though. We’ll see if he’s a fan of light stupidity.)
Hmm. I just got the note. Maybe it won’t be running for a bit–until there’s a story that justifies it.
Anybody got any relevant current-event stories about hybrid-style goaltenders?
Earl, do you have to get each post approved? (Just curious.)
Anybody got any relevant current-event stories about hybrid-style goaltenders?
Turco’s on a two-game point streak! Does that help?
Maybe it won’t be running for a bit–until there’s a story that justifies it.
Just post it at BoC. There are no such restrictions there, are there?
Hmm. I just got the note. Maybe it won’t be running for a bit–until there’s a story that justifies it.
OK, this is where Fan House needs the Sleek! Why can’t they just post it anyway? We don’t all go to Fan House just to read about hockey — we can look at cartoons too! Tell your boss that you’ve got a built in audience for the cartoons. You’re like the alternative media’s Elston.
(And like Patty said, run it on BoC. Because now you’ve piqued our curiosity!)
Earl, do you have to get each post approved? (Just curious.)
Not for long. I’ve been actually requesting it out of the supervisers more than they’ve been requesting it from me. Mostly I just want to make sure everything is fine technical-wise, and make sure I’m crediting things right.
As for the cartoon in question, I just shot it to the group saying “Hey, I know this is pretty stupid, but is there a place on Fanhouse for it?”
Just post it at BoC. There are no such restrictions there, are there?
I just e-mailed them back and said I’d probably do this. It probably makes sense–you need both some hockey knowledge and a tolerance for puns that probably limits its target audience.
Probably not today, though. Some rainy day when I’m too lazy to make something.
I like the post over at BoC too, Earl. I’ll be on the lookout for you, next to the penalty box, tomorrow!
I’ll be on the lookout for you, next to the penalty box, tomorrow!
As usual, the green shirt will be the giveaway.
I’m a bit bummed, though. Per the Sharks’ non-stop see-saw pattern, they’re due for a win tomorrow.
That and the fact that I’ve been to HC twice this year, and still have yet to see a Ducks goal.
That and the fact that I’ve been to HC twice this year, and still have yet to see a Ducks goal.
OUCH. That’s the worst.
I have an idea, Earl. Make up a rumor about a hybrid goaltender and attribute it to Eklund. Then write a post about how crazy rumors like that can be and use your cartoon.
Damn! Apparantly Phaneuf is playing after all. I hate that little bitch. And that sucks Earl! One of these days those crazy ducks will get it together…
“I’m a bit bummed, though. Per the Sharks’ non-stop see-saw pattern, they’re due for a win tomorrow.”
Fingers are crossed.
“That and the fact that I’ve been to HC twice this year, and still have yet to see a Ducks goal.”
Not good! I have been to the Tank twice and have yet to see a win. So, I feel ya.
OK, I caved. If you want to see my too-cool-for-Fanhouse cartoon, it’s now at the bottom of this post.
Your loss, Fanhouse :)
That and the fact that I’ve been to HC twice this year, and still have yet to see a Ducks goal.
Not good! I have been to the Tank twice and have yet to see a win.
It’s hard not to feel responsible, isn’t it? I went to two REALLY awful games in a row. But I guess the Stars didn’t want me to feel like it was my fault so they let Phoenix rout them when I wasn’t there.
Earl, that cartoon is GREAT. Hockey meets the New Yorker.
Oh, I just got an e-mail from the Sharks, look at this!
Family packs: 4 tix, 4 hot dogs, 4 sodas, 4 bags of chips (Chips?) starting at $68 for Saturday Nov. 24th against the Kings!
We’re staying in town this year for Thanksgiving, so that might be a good game to hit!
…my too-cool-for-Fanhouse cartoon
Hee! Very funny! That is too cool for Fanhouse.
See? Pensgirl and Patty are in the narrow audience!
To be fair, I was told to wait for a story that it could accompany (not that it couldn’t ever be on Fanhouse), but really, I don’t know what story would ever work for it.
I don’t get why you’d need a story, either. The cartoon is relevant to hockey in general, why does it have to be relevant to some specific item or event?
That cartoon is great… I like the tie.
why does it have to be relevant to some specific item or event?
I guess that’s AOL’s overall agenda. They like that I’m being clever. I guess they aren’t in it for the semi-randomness, though.
A shame. It’s a fundamental part of blogging.
I don’t know what story would ever work for it.
So it’s good you put in on BoC.
I’m not blaming Fanhouse or anything. I don’t have any problem with it.
It’s just another thing that’s fun about BoC.
That cartoon is great… I like the tie.
Actually, I know it’s really corny, but I’m way too amused by the joke he’s telling. For some reason it really cracks me up.
A shame. It’s a fundamental part of blogging.
Exactly. Blogging is stream-of-consciousness – whatever occurs to you! It’s Faulkner for the masses.
Except that I hate Faulkner, and I love blogs. Go figure.
The joke he’s telling is funny, but I like the bigger joke of what he is.
I’m not blaming Fanhouse or anything. I don’t have any problem with it.
Nor do I, really. Still, it does make it quite different from BoC, where I rarely ever report the news, and doctor photographs like crazy.
It’s a really good thing that I’m allowed to do both–just Fanhouse would drive me crazy.
Back six or seven years ago I read a “hockey humor” site that was basically a blog, but they didn’t call them that back then. That girl was hilarious!
She wanted her nickname for Hasek to catch on. She called him Spongebob, because of his tendency to “Drop on thee deck and flop like a fish!”
Every time Hasek is mentioned I think of that.
Crunchy is insistent that he’s neither a stand-up or a butterfly so that cartoon makes me think of him which makes it even funnier. And then it make me think of him trying to tell that joke and it makes it even funnier again.
Every time Hasek is mentioned I think of that.
And Hasek was just mentioned in my own mind when I thought of a hybrid goaltender.
Glad you enjoyed it, Heather. I try to keep my cartoons on a very multi-level humor.
Glad you enjoyed it, Heather. I try to keep my cartoons on a very multi-level humor.
Yes, I’m sure you totally had the “Ryan Miller Has No Sense of Humor” angle in mind when you drew it, you genius, you!
“Ryan Miller Has No Sense of Humor”
My research for this cartoon came to the same conclusion. Odd.
I had a dream once that we sent Brian Rafalski to France and demanded you give us someone else to replace him.
That said I do not want Johnny Oduya and you cannot have Henrik Zetterberg.
“My research for this cartoon came to the same conclusion. Odd.”
No. What’s odd is doing research for cartoons.
Hey! I was just kidding! You can research anything you want, Earl.
Oh, those Toronto Maple Leafs . . .
hmm, interesting. Seems like the kid brushed it off pretty nonchalantly.
Yeah, it does. The whole think seems a little weird and prurient to me. (Not that that stopped me from reading it, clearly.) But I don’t think it’s any of our business really, and it just struck me as a drunken party pic more than any expression of homosexuality.
“and it just struck me as a drunken party pic more than any expression of homosexuality.”
Excatly. I don’t think there’s a guy out there who doesn’t have some dumbass drunken party pic of him, like that one, floating around.
Earl, that cartoon was fuckin’ awesome! I think pretty much everyone here falls squarely in the audience of having hockey knowledge and a love of bad puns. I was serious when I said you can be the blogging version of Elston. If his cartoons are good enough for the Hockey News, why can’t Fan House lighten up for a post or two… Sheesh.
Excatly. I don’t think there’s a guy out there who doesn’t have some dumbass drunken party pic of him, like that one, floating around.
But hopefully not naked camera phone pics because, really, that’s more information than I want.
Yeah! Tell Fan House to stick it!
See you guys all later. I’m headed home!
“But hopefully not naked camera phone pics because, really, that’s more information than I want.”
I swear I didn’t know that phone had a camera on….oh, you were talking about the other guy? Hmmm, well then…never mind.
Night, Andrew.
[...] my fault. I went on and on to anybody that would listen about the greatness of our penalty kill. Our penalty kill rocks! Blah, blah, blah! Power [...]
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