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Kings @ Ducks, 11/13/07 “Rinkside View”

We have the option tonight between the regular FSN Anaheim and the HD, rinkside feeds. We’re looking forward to experiencing the differences between them, since it’s nice to have a plotline to focus on when the teams you’re diarizing about are complete strangers to you.

FIRST PERIOD

18:27 We’re really quick on the uptake, and take a surprisingly long time to realize this HD rinkside feed doesn’t have play-by-play. That might work for us if we’re watching two teams we know anything about, but since this is the Kings and the Ducks, not so much.

17:09 Having a feed with play-by-play is great and all, but this picture blows. The insipid announcers make us wonder if a feed without them might be an improvement, since they become the 10,000th announcers to crack jokes about how Matt Moulson’s name kind of sounds like a certain brand of beer. It’s like the “Miro Satan should play for the Devils” joke, but a billion times funnier and more original.

16:22 Prongsie and O’Donnell decide the best way to defend Cammalleri is to double-team Dustin Brown behind the net. Fortunately for them, Giggy’s up to stopping Cammalleri’s point-blank shot.

15:15 The game has left Rob Blake behind, and he gets called for intereference. From all we’ve heard about the Ducks, though, we’re not too concerned for the Kings’ chances of killing this off.

13:15 Whaddaya know? The Ducks’ PP does suck.

12:19 Okay, this rinkside feed rocks during commercials… because it has no commercials! We’re watching Giggy drinking at the bench! Oh, crap. Now we’re watching Bill MacDonald giving us tours of the bowels of the arena – no, wait, this is AWESOME! They’re showing us the stick room! And now the dressing room! And now the weight room! This is so cool! WE LOVE THIS FEED!

11:20 We now have no idea what’s going on because they’ve stopped play-by-play on both channels.

10:55 What? The Kings are on the power play, with 1:34 left on it. What’s going on here? Damn you, Rinkside Feed, for making us look like idiots!

6:55 FSN tosses us blithely to commercial after Blake throws one of his cast-iron ass hipchecks into Corey Perry, so we flip to Rinkside to watch him dragged off the ice by his teammates. It seems appropriately somber, silently watching an injured guy limp off the ice, but suddenly we’re watching a foxy ice girl, then we’re getting a report from an even more vacuous sideline reporter than Bill MacDonald. This guy tells us he doesn’t want to “spiculate” about the nature of the injury, but it’s always bad when a guy has to be helped off the ice by his teammates. Then, nearly in the same funereal breath, he switches gears to tell us how tall Pronger’s sticks are, concluding with, “That’s a lot of wood for Chris Pronger.” Thanks, Rinkside!

5:33 Cammalleri heads to the box for hooking (not that FSN or Rinkside show us a replay) and Rinkside tosses us to Bill for a tour of the Ponda’s bar lounge thingie. If they’re going to be showing us drunk people, we want them to be giving us a Rinkside special with Earl Sleek.

4:46 Our announcers have no idea what’s going on (that makes four of us) after LaBarbera bobbles a shot, and in the play-by-play chaos, Getzi steps into a mid-range shot that gives the Ducks a 1-0 lead.

3:30 LaBarbera decides the best defense against swarming Ducks is to lie spread-eagled way out of the crease after breaking up BabyCrunchy’s attempt at a power move, and Marchant is able to bury the loose puck in the vacated net. 2-0 Ducks.

2:12 Zeiler stands up to hit the only thing we like about the Ducks (that would be Getzi), knocking Getzi away from the puck, and Marchant and Beauchemin jump on Zeiler to defend their hottie. Marchant gets a double minor for roughing. We flip to Rinkside in the hope that their ice-level mics will be picking up Getzi spewing profanities at the Kings, but we’re out of luck. Pookie: “This experiment is dead to me.” (We also hope that Zeiler may have knocked Getzi’s awful, awful teeth out, but sadly, a shot of him at the bench reveals he just needs a little patch job on his chin. Stupid Zeiler. Aim higher next time, dude.)

1:13 Moen and Pahlsson get a long two-on-one, but Pahlsson pretty much whiffs on the shot.

0:13 Hey! It’s the one thing we liked about the Senators last year – Preissing! The Ducks have some trouble clearing the zone, and Preissing is able to shovel the puck through Giggy. 2-1 Ducks. Pookie: “I hope Preissing and Parros had a motherfucking economics-off before the game.”

0:00 This game has been startlingly entertaining! Keep it up, teams we normally don’t care about – you guys and your Rinkside feed have been delightful!

FIRST INTERMISSION

We are devastated that Rinkside doesn’t let us just watching the stupid fans-in-sumo-suits crap, and then the zambonis circling. We think that would be a great way to advertise the unparalleled excitement you get by attending games in person. The regular feed is giving us an interview with Brian Burke and Ron Hextall (we don’t know why, and we’re not sure we want to know). Hexy looks to be no bigger than Doc Emrick, and when Bill MacDonald jokes that they’re going to wrestle, then asks them which one would win, we expect Hexy to say, “Look at that guy! He weighs three times as much as I do!”

Congratulations, Kings and Ducks fans. Your rivalry is now officially called “The Freeway Face-off”. You probably don’t need a couple of Devils fans to tell you this, but that sucks.

SECOND PERIOD

19:19 Pahlsson gets another chance on a shortie two-on-one, and still can’t score. Our Ducks announcers are hopeful that LaBarbera is looking over-aggressive and will be smote eventually for that tendency.

17:01 We realize these announcers are talking about something, but we have no idea what. Pookie: “It’s like they’re hitting a register I’m just not capable of hearing. All I’m picking up is [Meow Mix song]. Getzlaf.”

15:32 Perry miraculously survived the cast-iron ass attack and is back on the ice now.

15:07 We are intrigued by the Duck method of defense (and yes, Prongsie’s on the ice for it) to let Handzus slowly meander out from behind the net, turn himself around to be facing the net, then try to calibrate his aim, and then shoot at Giggy. Of course, it’s Handzus, and no harm comes from it, but still.

14:02 Perhaps ashamed of the aforementioned Handzus thing, the Ducks proceed to head up the ice and fire about 65 shots on goal.

13:47 Rinkside, during commercial, takes us way upstairs to introduce us to the man Bill MacDonald calls the “guru of lighting and special effects.” Only he pronounces it “gu-RU”. He asks for a “reader’s digest” explanation of what he does, and Pookie (of the former career in technical theater) groans, “Never ask a lighting guy for a quick, reader’s digest explanation of what he does.” (Bill also asks the guRU what his favorite effect is, and Pookie suggests, “Setting the mascot on fire.”)

13:30 Marchant gets called for hooking. We discuss how this is possibly the most fun game we’ve seen all year; Pookie explains, “I don’t think it has anything to do with the game, though – it’s all the stupid announcers.”

10:01 Giggy is forced to make a point-blank save on Zeiler, and the poor Ducks announcers are forced to point out that the Ducks are getting totally distracted by their seething, blinding hatred of Zeiler to be able to make good decisions with the puck. (Oh, and they’re kind of overwhelmed by the Kings forecheck, too.)

9:34 Rinkside shows us that Bill has made his way to the video review booth. There are no guRUs in this booth, just a guy with shaggy hair and a blazer with an NHL insignia on the breast. Our directors decide this guy is lacking that certain je ne sais quois that Ducks feeds should have in spades, so they switch to give us a view of the ice girls, and more specifically, the ice girls’ asses. We flip back to the regular feed.

6:50 JMFJ takes a roughing minor. The Ducks announcers are chortling about how he used to date Andy Murray’s daughter. Thanks for the factoid, Ducks announcers. They are also taken totally by surprise that their team is on the PP, since they, like us, are not really paying very close attention to what’s going on. They’re just so amused by their own stupidity, we guess.

5:09 Our regular-feed director gives us a smashingly interesting shot of JMFJ’s feet as he shuffles out of the box in a cloud of misery and shame after Huskins scores on a long point shot to make it 3-1 Ducks.

4:37 Rinkside now has Bill showing us the booth where they manage the LED screens in the arena. Pookie announces she’s having overwhelming déjà vu just as Bill leads us down a dark hallway and out onto a balcony that houses the organ player. We flip back to regular FSN when play resumes, but they’re showing us the Rinkside feed. It takes us a good long time before we realize we can watch this game without commentary back on Rinkside… but in HD. When we flip back, we see, with absolutely zero context, a King on the bench having a trainer futzing with his teeth. This is a quality, quality way to be watching televised sports.

2:34 The announcers here are vapidly conjecturing that Doug Armstrong was fired for not firing Dave Tippett. Pookie: “If that’s the case, way to go Army! Fight with honor, and you will win! Or get fired.”

1:14 They might have a two-goal lead, but the Ducks are still having trouble with Zeiler, whom Huskins and O’Donnell tag-team to haul to the ice. Holding penalty to Huskins. The announcers say something about some player possibly being “more impactful”, a phrase Boomer takes issue with. Pookie placates her by saying, “Well, they could have used the word ‘impactier’.”

0:00 We are not going to be suckered in by Rinkside this intermission – we know they’re not letting us watch Score-o. No, they’re trying to force us to watch that dumb show about the “science” of sports. (Okay, that’s a lie. We flip over to Rinkside and are rewarded by a lingering look at the Ducks’ gloves all drying. Pookie declares she’d be happy to just watch the gloves for the entirety of the intermission.)

SECOND INTERMISSION

We totally unfairly judged this intermission show ahead of time — not only are they showing us the zambonis going around in circles, but they’ve got Bill aboard one of them interviewing the driver. We love, love, love that they’re just wandering around the building asking everyone about the jobs they do. We’d like to see this extended beyond just the obvious people; we want to hear them talk to the stick company sales reps, the travel coordinators, the hotel managers who accommodate the teams’ request, people like that.

After the zamboni feature, we see the non-Bill sideline guy (read: really, really stupid guy) giving us a tour of the Kings’ stick area behind the bench. He walks us down the stick-prep table, holding up things like the paint can, the baby powder, the propane torches, telling us what each is for. Then he points to a tool that he describes as “an anvil.” Boomer, oozing disgust: “That’s a vice, you nitwit.”

THIRD PERIOD

17:46 The period starts like gangbusters. Just kidding! There’s a stretch of time where the feed loses the on-ice mics, and it’s just silence and the announcers. Looking down, we think there’s a stoppage in play, so imagine our surprise when we glance up and realize the Ducks are in the throes of getting a scoring chance.

15:41 We realize we’re flagging now, suffering what Pookie claims is the inevitable let-down after the unnatural high of the absurdity and weirdness that is the combination of these two feeds tonight. She then launches into a lengthy amusement park analogy that has Boomer wondering if there was something more than just peppermint in these fancy-schmancy Williams-Sonoma brownies we’re eating.

15:24 As if the Kings have heard our complaints, Frolov does some nifty skating and feeds Moulson for an easy tap-in goal. 3-2 Ducks, and hey! That guy? Moulson? You know what his name sounds like?

12:53 Rinkside takes us during this commercial break to the owner’s suite. Pookie marvels, “Now there’s some Earl Sleek action!” as the owner staggers drunkenly to stand in front of the camera. He also drags his wife to his side, and Pookie adds, “That’s the owner?” Pause. “’s wife?”

11:55 Blake, still being passed by by the game, trips Moen at the Ducks blueline to keep that bastion of blazing speed and finishing touch from getting into open ice. Excellent – more Ducks PP.

8:49 There’s a penalty on the Ducks, but we don’t know what for because it’s midnight, which means we all have to start annoying each other by prattling on about what chores we’re going to be doing the next day. There is much discussion right now about mulching around our fruit trees in the front yard and getting cars inspected. Never a dull moment at stately IPB Manor!

7:22 We’re now tense after having argued about how we didn’t want to be talking about mulching fruit trees and inspecting cars, so we fail to notice why the Ducks are now down two men. We are not being the best professional game diarizers we can possibly be.

6:49 Good thing for the Kings that Cammalleri isn’t distracted by his yard’s landscaping needs and how long the lines might or might not be at the inspection station at the DMV – right as the first penalty expires, he blasts the puck from the point past Giggy to tie the game at 3.

5:45 After several commercial breaks during which we strangely lost the HD Rinkside on our dial, we flip back to the right channel, just in time to see the doofusy sideline guy delivering this groundbreaking news: the players use light, composite sticks, and said sticks break sometimes. He brags that he’s taking JMFJ’s broken stick home with him, where his kids will “cherish it like it’s gold”. That’s so great that his kids will treasure JMFJ’s garbage so. When he finishes speaking the director decides to reward the broadcast’s male viewers with more ice girl footage. We opt for commercials instead.

4:18 Giggy shows off that he’s not always just an immobile, elephant-sized butterfly goalie, and makes a great, diving, sprawling save. Pookie grumbles after her initial impressed reaction, “Actually, he didn’t make that good a save there. That guy just shot right into him.”

1:09 Perry gets called for elbowing a King to the ice while going after the puck in the corner. Our announcers decide he’s being called for slashing and spend what seems like an eon watching the replay and whining that there was no slash on the play.

0:00 So we head into OT at three goals a piece, and the Kings on the power play. During the commercial we get further tours of the various and sundry equipment gewgaws behind the Ducks bench, and really, we don’t think we’ve ever seen such a staggering combination of stupid and smarmy as this non-Bill sideline guy.

We get a “Honda Center Fact” on Rinkside telling us it takes 200 man hours to convert the building from hockey to non-hockey events. Pookie: “That’s almost as many hours as it takes to shovel our driveway when it snows.”

OVERTIME

3:59 Perry steps out of the box, and Pookie announces, “This Ffffreeway Ffffaceoff is fffffan-fffffucking-tastic.”

3:49 Getzi takes a weak shot that LaBarbera handles without much difficulty. Pookie composes an open letter to him:

Dear Getzi,

Thanks for sucking. I want the Kings to win.

Love,
Pookie

She then responds in her Getzi voice,

Dear Pookie,

Getzi no can read.

Love,
Getzi

0:31 McDonald has some serious wheels, busting up the center of the rink, but he apparently has no commensurate puck-handling skillz, because he ends up just leaving it behind right inside the blueline.

0:19 Blake and Kunitz exchange some swats at each other and both get called for it. The announcers grouse, as we go to less than 20 seconds of three-on-three, that the officials have decided they’re going to “decide” this game. The fuck?

0:00 A scrum develops at the boards in the Kings zone, out of which a little Pronger-on-Handzus fist-swinging ensues. Pookie decides that if she ever gets Pronger’s autograph, she’ll ask him to make it out to “Ima Doucherocket”. (Hilariously – and deservedly – Pronger gets an instigator out of this all.)

We flip to the HD feed and get to see, up close and in way more detail than any person ever should, a glimpse of exactly how copiously Giggy sweats. We feel compelled to mop up the floor in front of the TV when the shot is over.

SHOOTOUT

We decide to watch this in HD. Because what’s better than being able to see in exquisite detail how Getzi bobbles the puck on his approach? He looks really… smart. We’ll spare you the details here, Gentle Reader. Suffice to say, the teams are trading penalty shots. As Doc likes to say, we’re deciding a game by having quarterbacks throw balls through tires. Instead of giving a blow-by-blow of the Ducks “win”, we’ll leave you with this thought – we think Kopitar should be like Stan Neckar (bet you didn’t think you’d be reading his name in a game diary here, did you?), and pronounce his name “Kopitash”. Seriously. This really bugs us because we totally expect that -sh at the end of his name.

281 Responses to “Kings @ Ducks, 11/13/07 “Rinkside View””

  1. on November 13, 2007 at 10:49 pm Katebits

    Oh, goodie! I just took a tylenol PM, so I don’t know how much longer I’ll be awake, but I’m watching this game and I’m psyched you’re recapping it. The Kings are one of my favorite secondary teams. I love when they win and I couldn’t care less when they lose.


  2. on November 13, 2007 at 10:50 pm Schnookie

    I love when they win and I couldn’t care less when they lose.

    That’s exactly the way it should be! :D (I hope we manage to stay awake for this whole thing, too…)


  3. on November 13, 2007 at 10:51 pm Pookie

    I love when they win and I couldn’t care less when they lose.

    Yay! Hockey’s fun again! Woo-hoo!


  4. on November 13, 2007 at 10:54 pm Katebits

    It seems we have to watch the far West to get enough distance from our heinous (hockey heinous, not face heinous) teams.


  5. on November 13, 2007 at 10:56 pm Pookie

    Yeah. If only these guys could be playing in, like, Hawaii or something. Or someplace even further West. Like Western Hawaii.


  6. on November 13, 2007 at 10:56 pm Schnookie

    Another thing that makes these WC teams attractive is that they almost never play the Rangers.


  7. on November 13, 2007 at 10:58 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    I was thinking the same thing about deciding whether it’s better to have no commentary, or the commentary they’re giving us. Molten Lava. Surface of the Sun. Molten Lava. Surface of the Sun.

    I guess it’s not that bad. The lack of commentary, I mean.


  8. on November 13, 2007 at 10:59 pm Katebits

    I tried to watch the Toronto/Montreal game while I was practicing and I didn’t like it one bit. Ew. I really don’t like any hockey teams right now.

    Does Japan have a hockey team?


  9. on November 13, 2007 at 11:01 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Congratulations, Kings and Ducks fans. Your rivalry is now officially called “The Freeway Face-off”.

    The Texas Rangers and the Houston Astros play every year for the “Silver Boot.” And the award is actually made of crystal.

    So. Could be worse. Wait. No, I think Freeway Face-Off is worse.


  10. on November 13, 2007 at 11:02 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Does Japan have a hockey team?

    I saw that the NHL Network will be playing an AHL Game of the Week. Does that help?


  11. on November 13, 2007 at 11:03 pm Pookie

    Molten Lava. Surface of the Sun. Molten Lava. Surface of the Sun.

    :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

    I tried to watch the Toronto/Montreal game while I was practicing and I didn’t like it one bit.

    We had it on for a few minutes but then decided we would partake of some comfort food TV and turned on “House”. It’s nice for me to think the Hockey Gods know I am capable of turning hockey for something. Unlike Heather, I can’t renounce the Hockey Gods. I may be giving up superstitions, but after the Zinidine Zidane Heabutt, I firmly, firmly believe in Sports Gods and their awesome powers.


  12. on November 13, 2007 at 11:03 pm Meg

    Yeah, this commentary truly is terrible.


  13. on November 13, 2007 at 11:04 pm Meg

    Does Japan have a hockey team?

    They do have hockey teams, but I don’t think they care about them.


  14. on November 13, 2007 at 11:06 pm Meg

    Also, just to spam the comments some more, I was pleased that Baby Crunchy got an assist. And also Frolov.


  15. on November 13, 2007 at 11:06 pm Katebits

    Oh, the Gods are real and not to be trifled with.

    I saw that the NHL Network will be playing an AHL Game of the Week. Does that help?</i.

    Actually, I could probably get into that Patty. I recently read a review of a live Hamilton Bulldogs/Rochester Amerks game that made it sound pretty fun. I can definitely cheer for little baby hockey players. It’s just all the far better NHL teams I can’t stand.


  16. on November 13, 2007 at 11:07 pm alix

    They showed you the stick room?!? That IS cool!


  17. on November 13, 2007 at 11:09 pm Meg

    I recently read a review of a live Hamilton Bulldogs/Rochester Amerks game that made it sound pretty fun. I can definitely cheer for little baby hockey players.

    Also, our baby players are actually in playoff position at present.


  18. on November 13, 2007 at 11:10 pm Pookie

    Schnookie worked for a while in college at an after-school program. One of the little kids gave her a report of going to an AHL game. “You know when they go to hit each other? In this game they always missed.” That’s all I can think of when I think of the AHL. If I’m not going to be watching NHL hockey, it had better be some zany Frozen Four college hockey game with wild fans and marching bands. Well, I guess they don’t march, but you know what I mean.


  19. on November 13, 2007 at 11:11 pm alix

    I’ve heard the AHL is fantastic right now. Fun, speedy games. Goals actually going in the net. Players actually putting effort in every night. And they showed you the stick room?!?!? That IS cool!


  20. on November 13, 2007 at 11:11 pm Katebits

    “You know when they go to hit each other? In this game they always missed.”

    :^::::::::::::::::::::::::


  21. on November 13, 2007 at 11:12 pm alix

    Hmm…just ignore my comment 16. It got eaten and then spat back out again.


  22. on November 13, 2007 at 11:14 pm Katebits

    There’s a whole room full of sticks? Dang!


  23. on November 13, 2007 at 11:14 pm Pookie

    alix, sorry Senor Spam is acting funny. That must be kind of discouraging if Senor Spam takes your comment and then decides it’s not worth eating. The Stick Room look awesome! There was peg board everywhere, loaded with all kings of saws and clamps and dustpans. I was a little sorry to see that no one had outlined the tools on the pegboard so you always know where to put them back.


  24. on November 13, 2007 at 11:14 pm alix

    Hey, the Wings lost again! Wooohoo!(Sorry Steph)


  25. on November 13, 2007 at 11:14 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    I’ve never heard of a Ducks fan that likes that guy on the broadcast. Who do they think likes him? I know Earl loathes him.


  26. on November 13, 2007 at 11:15 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    I was a little sorry to see that no one had outlined the tools on the pegboard so you always know where to put them back.

    Haha!

    Like little tool crime scenes?


  27. on November 13, 2007 at 11:17 pm alix

    Random stick tools! That’s even cooler. And yes, they should totally label them so you know what they’re for.


  28. on November 13, 2007 at 11:18 pm Katebits

    Aww, my dad had all his tools outlined on the wall of his workroom. I haven’t thought about that in years.


  29. on November 13, 2007 at 11:20 pm Meg

    I think that their “between the benches” type guy is even more inane than Rob Ray. Is it my imagination? Is that really possible?


  30. on November 13, 2007 at 11:22 pm Pookie

    Is it my imagination? Is that really possible?

    It is possible.

    (I actually don’t mind Rob Ray.)


  31. on November 13, 2007 at 11:28 pm Meg

    (I actually don’t mind Rob Ray.)

    I don’t actually mind Ray either, but it’s more because he entertains me then because I think he offers real insight into what’s going on on the ice. The Buffalo News is publishing excerpts of his new book. Of course the first excerpt is about how he fought with Domi at the draft. I get the feeling that his book is going to be rather like his commentary . . . not providing us with much new information but full of character.


  32. on November 13, 2007 at 11:29 pm Pookie

    not providing us with much new information but full of character.

    A very apt description, to be sure!


  33. on November 13, 2007 at 11:48 pm Katebits

    Okay, guys. Super sleepy! Talk to you tomorrow!


  34. on November 13, 2007 at 11:51 pm Pookie

    Good night super sleepy Katebits! Sweet dreams of good hockey played as far West as is possible!


  35. on November 13, 2007 at 11:53 pm zot

    Hi IPB!

    Congratulations, Kings and Ducks fans. Your rivalry is now officially called “The Freeway Face-off”.

    Woot. :|

    The announcers say something about some player possibly being “more impactful”, a phrase Boomer takes issue with. Pookie placates her by saying, “Well, they could have used the word ‘impactier’.”

    Does anyone else take issue with,” We played amazing” or am I just weird?


  36. on November 13, 2007 at 11:56 pm Pookie

    No, Zot, you’re not weird. Although, oddly, that’s not one that usually drives me batty. I guess I assume the “hockey” is implied, just the way I don’t bat an eye when someone refers to a guy being from “Czech”. I remember watching SportsCenter with a non-sports fan who couldn’t deal with the announcers referring to players from “The Dominican”. I was like, “What? We all know what they’re talking about.” She wasn’t swayed.


  37. on November 13, 2007 at 11:59 pm zot

    I guess I assume the “hockey” is implied

    I’ll do that from now on. It’s definitely an improvement. :)


  38. on November 13, 2007 at 11:59 pm Meg

    Does anyone else take issue with,” We played amazing” or am I just weird?

    It drives me up the wall.


  39. on November 14, 2007 at 12:00 am Pookie

    Maybe I don’t have as much an issue with “we played amazing” because my boys never have any excuse to say that!


  40. on November 14, 2007 at 12:06 am zot

    We love, love, love that they’re just wandering around the building asking everyone about the jobs they do.

    Man, just today, I was talking about how nhl teams should do this. Why don’t I have cable?


  41. on November 14, 2007 at 12:09 am Patty (in Dallas)

    The announcers say something about some player possibly being “more impactful”, a phrase Boomer takes issue with. Pookie placates her by saying, “Well, they could have used the word ‘impactier’.”

    Rrrr. I hate “impactful.”

    It’s a big player in my cliche/buzzword corporate existence.


  42. on November 14, 2007 at 12:09 am alix

    Huh, I’d never really noticed “we played amazing”. I’ve randomly taken a shine to that Kovalchuk guy. In my NHL domination dreams, him and Ovie have a Russian motherfucking goal off.


  43. on November 14, 2007 at 12:09 am Patty (in Dallas)

    I loved the glove dryer!


  44. on November 14, 2007 at 12:11 am alix

    I’m with Patty and Boomer. Impactful is lame.


  45. on November 14, 2007 at 12:12 am Patty (in Dallas)

    I think the rinkside version would be much improved if they had more ice mics. (Mic’s?)

    There’s no zipping and crunching of skates and the stick sounds are barely audible.


  46. on November 14, 2007 at 12:14 am Meg

    Rrrr. I hate “impactful.”

    It’s a big player in my cliche/buzzword corporate existence.

    I suspect the managing editorial department would take issue with anyone trying to use that at my job. They are stern defenders of the English language.


  47. on November 14, 2007 at 12:14 am Pookie

    Having more ice level mics is definitely key. Of course, since I’m someone who does needlework while watching, I sort of need the play-by-play to know what’s going on.


  48. on November 14, 2007 at 12:14 am Patty (in Dallas)

    Cammalleri’s a Racoon, you know. *smug*


  49. on November 14, 2007 at 12:14 am Pookie

    So Christopher Hitchens wouldn’t say having his balls waxed was impactful on his life?


  50. on November 14, 2007 at 12:15 am Pookie

    Cammalleri’s a Racoon, you know. *smug*

    Yeah, well, so’s Dustin Brown! I don’t think he’s had a point since I picked him up Ever since Yahoo took away our real-time statbits, I’ve lost track of who’s good and who’s not.


  51. on November 14, 2007 at 12:15 am Patty (in Dallas)

    Dang it! He’s not a Racoon! He’s a Sno-Cone! *retracts smugness*


  52. on November 14, 2007 at 12:17 am Meg

    So Christopher Hitchens wouldn’t say having his balls waxed was impactful on his life?

    I think he would probably say that it had an impact on his life. He’s probably not particularly intimidated by our managing ed. but he is, after all, Christopher Hitchens.


  53. on November 14, 2007 at 12:18 am Meg

    Ever since Yahoo took away our real-time statbits, I’ve lost track of who’s good and who’s not.

    Yeah, I miss the real-time statbits but I’m sure as hell not going to pay for them.


  54. on November 14, 2007 at 12:20 am Meg

    Frolov is a Chinchilla. Clearly he was feeling sorry about the fact that Katebits was already beating me by 5 assists after 1 day. The Wings first line isn’t carrying the team quite as well as it was this past week.


  55. on November 14, 2007 at 12:21 am zot

    Yeah, I miss the real-time statbits but I’m sure as hell not going to pay for them.

    Ditto. I look up the boxscores and checking each individual player’s stats.


  56. on November 14, 2007 at 12:24 am Schnookie

    After the disaster that was the Marauders’ 9-0 loss last week, I have no idea what’s going on with any of my guys. And I can’t be bothered to look up their statbits on my own. Yahoo is sabotaging my team. But I’m cook with that. Just so long as you all know I’m losing for reasons beyond my control.


  57. on November 14, 2007 at 12:26 am alix

    The Meatballs have taken a lead and I am totally shocked.


  58. on November 14, 2007 at 12:26 am Meg

    After the disaster that was the Marauders’ 9-0 loss last week, I have no idea what’s going on with any of my guys.

    I lost 10-2 last week, and I’d been doing so well prior to that. And I totally look up the stats compulsively.


  59. on November 14, 2007 at 12:28 am Patty (in Dallas)

    I check stats compulsively, too. But I look at each player individually, sometimes looking up the same game more than once. And then forgetting what I just read as soon as the next player comes up.

    Then I just check “yesterday” every morning, which is much easier to read.


  60. on November 14, 2007 at 12:30 am Pookie

    Woo! The PanBoxers are starting their battle back to 5th (from 7th) by beating the Waffles 5-4 right now! Woo!


  61. on November 14, 2007 at 12:30 am Patty (in Dallas)

    I finally figured out who that guy reminds me of, kind of. The guy down by the benches on the rinkside show. He looks like a bad comedian doing a Robert DeNiro impression.


  62. on November 14, 2007 at 12:31 am Pookie

    Then I just check “yesterday” every morning, which is much easier to read.

    That’s what I need to start doing. I need to sign up for NaFaTeStaCheMo (National Fantasy Team Statbits Check Month).


  63. on November 14, 2007 at 12:31 am zot

    checking each individual player’s stats

    I meant check. Geez, I complain about grammar and then I end up not paying attention to my own.

    And Meg, I don’t really know what happened last week either. Usually, I’m all over my team, but I was gone several days last week and wasn’t checking up on them as much. Maybe this should be my future strategy.


  64. on November 14, 2007 at 12:38 am Meg

    A perfectly entertaining game and it goes to a fucking shootout. Damn.


  65. on November 14, 2007 at 12:39 am Patty (in Dallas)

    I see Pronger doesn’t have any qualms about punching a guy that’s being held by someone else. Nice.


  66. on November 14, 2007 at 12:40 am Meg

    Yeah, he’s such a charmer that Pronger.


  67. on November 14, 2007 at 12:41 am Pookie

    I see Pronger doesn’t have any qualms about punching a guy that’s being held by someone else. Nice.

    That’s an instigator with fewer than 5 minutes left in the game — suspension, no?


  68. on November 14, 2007 at 12:41 am Patty (in Dallas)

    They already have a Freeway Face-off logo. It doesn’t look quite polished.


  69. on November 14, 2007 at 12:43 am Patty (in Dallas)

    That’s an instigator with fewer than 5 minutes left in the game — suspension, no?

    Should be.

    Will he ever run out of suspensions? Before they consider him a repeat offender?


  70. on November 14, 2007 at 12:43 am Meg

    That’s an instigator with fewer than 5 minutes left in the game — suspension, no?

    I think so, but I’m not positive.


  71. on November 14, 2007 at 12:44 am Pookie

    I suspect the logo designers were like, “Well, it’s not our best work, but… Eh, this sucks anyway, no matter how nice we make it.”


  72. on November 14, 2007 at 12:45 am zot

    What the heck is going on? We win a shootout, again?! Who are these people? :D


  73. on November 14, 2007 at 12:45 am Meg

    Well that’s that . . . good night, everyone!


  74. on November 14, 2007 at 12:46 am zot

    What does the Freeway Face-off logo look like?


  75. on November 14, 2007 at 12:46 am Pookie

    Before they consider him a repeat offender?

    :^::::::::::::::::::::::

    I laugh because otherwise I’d cry. It’s like he gets a clean slate immediately after each suspension ends.


  76. on November 14, 2007 at 12:49 am Patty (in Dallas)

    The logo looks like a Photoshop job done in an hour by somebody that doesn’t know how to use photoshop.


  77. on November 14, 2007 at 12:50 am Patty (in Dallas)

    What the heck is going on? We win a shootout, again?! Who are these people? :D

    Is that Giggy? Or someone in a disguise?


  78. on November 14, 2007 at 12:52 am alix

    He so does get a clean slate! It’s like he has an evil version of Boxworthy that climbs into the NHL offices after every disiplinary hearing and erases the records. Hellworthy? Something like that.


  79. on November 14, 2007 at 12:53 am Schnookie

    I need to sign up for NaFaTeStaCheMo (National Fantasy Team Statbits Check Month).

    :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


  80. on November 14, 2007 at 12:54 am Schnookie

    The Freeway Faceoff logo looks like it could have been designed by the same people who did the Ducks logo.


  81. on November 14, 2007 at 12:58 am Pookie

    Hellworthy is like the golden monkey from “His Dark Materials”’s more evil brother.

    And on that note, good night everyone! I’ve got to rest up for tomorrow’s Devils-Rangers loss — er, I mean, game!


  82. on November 14, 2007 at 1:02 am alix

    Night Pookie! Goodnight everyone else. Hopefully Pronger will not haunt your dreams. I finally get to watch hockey tomorrow…woo!


  83. on November 14, 2007 at 1:02 am Pookie

    Whoa, just as I’m doing my last minute computer tinkering before actually going to bed I notice that Martle linked to Patty! Way to go, Patty! You’re the bomb! Congrats!

    (OK, now I’m going to bed.)


  84. on November 14, 2007 at 1:06 am Patty (in Dallas)

    Thanks! First the official DMN blog, then, months later, Martle! I’m on the fast track.

    Seriously, thanks!

    Good night everybody. I’m off to bed, too. Tomorrow’s the big day. An Army-less game.


  85. on November 14, 2007 at 1:08 am alix

    Hooray for Patty! Ok…seriously going to bed now.


  86. on November 14, 2007 at 1:09 am Schnookie

    Patty, I’m so jealous! A Martle link! You’re really going places now! And totally leaving us in your global-domination dust. Dammit. I now have to get PK in my crosshairs and take you down. Oh, wait — did I just say that out loud?

    I suppose I should go to bed now, too. I’ve got a stupid meeting of stupid people that I have to attend tomorrow morning (nothing is more depressing than sitting through a meeting of a department’s secretaries and admins, especially when you’re one of them. It’s the only time I think about how much my job sucks — when I realize who my peers are), which means no sleeping in until 9:30 and rolling into the office around 10 for me. My life is so difficult.


  87. on November 14, 2007 at 1:13 am Patty (in Dallas)

    I hate early-morning meetings. A headhunter called me this morning at 9:30 and I had to admit that I was in the car on the way to the office.

    I’m sure it proved to her that I’m not punctual and I’m not a fast thinker, because I couldn’t think up a lie to explain why I was just leaving for work at 9:30.


  88. on November 14, 2007 at 1:14 am Patty (in Dallas)

    Patty, I’m so jealous! A Martle link!

    It caused my hits to skyrocket to 120.

    It also shows the real dearth of sites that talk about the Stars.


  89. on November 14, 2007 at 1:16 am Patty (in Dallas)

    I’m really going, too. Thanks for all the help today, everybody. I think I’ll be okay now. (This wasn’t the first time I dragged everybody into my misery, was it? Sorry about that!)


  90. on November 14, 2007 at 2:57 am Heather B.

    That guy? Moulson? You know what his name sounds like?

    Well, not that I would expect you guys to get it, but see, it’s a play on words.


  91. on November 14, 2007 at 9:20 am Schnookie

    Well, not that I would expect you guys to get it, but see, it’s a play on words.

    Wait, whaaa????

    :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


  92. on November 14, 2007 at 9:39 am Patty (in Dallas)

    This is the last I’ll say about all the news from yesterday. But if you wonder why I think Philippe Boucher is so hot, you can check out this video of the players’ reaction. He’s after Turco (at about the 4:52 mark).

    http://stars.nhl.tv/team/launch.htm?type=fvod&id=6936&catid=68


  93. on November 14, 2007 at 11:06 am Pookie

    Thanks for the video link, Patty. He is quite darling. I like his accent! As for talking about the news from yesterday, say as much as you need to; we’re here to help! Remember, no radio today, right?


  94. on November 14, 2007 at 11:15 am alix

    Oh Boucher is quite hott! His voice is tres sexy. Also, Brenden Morrow is a total cutie.


  95. on November 14, 2007 at 11:18 am Earl Sleek

    because I couldn’t think up a lie to explain why I was just leaving for work at 9:30.

    Brett Hull’s not a viable excuse?


  96. on November 14, 2007 at 11:23 am Sherry

    Also, Brenden Morrow is a total cutie.

    Is he the one that’s also an economics major?

    Today is the best day ever because we finally got our employee cards and it entitles us to free coffee on Wednesdays. It’s a little sad how that qualifies as a best. day. ever. for me these days.


  97. on November 14, 2007 at 11:25 am Earl Sleek

    It’s a little sad how that qualifies as a best. day. ever. for me these days.

    Yeah, must be tough–trying to pick a best day from all those Senator wins, huh?


  98. on November 14, 2007 at 11:27 am Patty (in Dallas)

    Also, Brenden Morrow is a total cutie.

    Is he the one that’s also an economics major?

    I don’t think he went to college. He came up through juniors.

    I think Jeff Halpern has an economics degree from Princeton. I know it was Princeton, but I’m not sure about his degree.


  99. on November 14, 2007 at 11:29 am Patty (in Dallas)

    Remember, no radio today, right?

    I’ll do my best! There is a press conference that The Ticket will be carrying, but I think I might wait until it’s up on the Stars site so I can fast forward if I want to.


  100. on November 14, 2007 at 11:29 am Sherry

    Aw, no need to be bitter, Sleek :P No, the tricky part comes from having to a pick a best day when the Senators aren’t playing for 4 days.

    I think Jeff Halpern has an economics degree from Princeton.

    Ah, right! I remember it was somebody on the Stars we were talking about before. Princeton, huh? Smarty pants.


  101. on November 14, 2007 at 11:29 am Patty (in Dallas)

    And Morrow is a total cutie, alix.


  102. on November 14, 2007 at 11:29 am Pookie

    Sherry, your comment on Fan House about the NBA coach complaining about the negative press coverage of basketball cracked me up (as did Greg W’s)!


  103. on November 14, 2007 at 11:30 am Patty (in Dallas)

    Princeton, huh? Smarty pants.

    Smarty hot pants. :P


  104. on November 14, 2007 at 11:31 am Pookie

    Princeton, huh? Smarty pants.

    I dunno. I went to school with a girl who went to Princeton to play soccer and she was one of the dumbest people I’ve ever met. Princeton may not technically give out sports scholarships but it spirit? Oh yeah. That said, since Princeton’s my hometown, I love it when NHL players have gone there.


  105. on November 14, 2007 at 11:32 am Patty (in Dallas)

    Princeton, huh? Smarty pants.

    Smarty hot pants. :P


  106. on November 14, 2007 at 11:35 am Patty (in Dallas)

    I went to school with a girl who went to Princeton to play soccer and she was one of the dumbest people I’ve ever met.

    What was her major?
    I’m usually not automatically impressed with college athletes, but if they have a good major, I can be.

    And the Ivy League schools get a few automatic points. If he was a football player from Univ. of Oklahoma, I wouldn’t assume he could graduate from high school on his own. :D


  107. on November 14, 2007 at 11:37 am Sherry

    Smarty hot pants.

    He wears hot pants huh? (Just kidding)

    Sherry, your comment on Fan House about the NBA coach complaining about the negative press coverage of basketball cracked me up

    Aww, thank you Pookie. I think Sam Mitchell is just frustrated because he lives in Toronto and very few people care about the Raptors, and technically he’s also a MLSE employee and privy to whatever cluster f@$& they go through.

    Speaking of Princeton, I’m actually considering going there for grad school although I doubt I’m smart (or “spirited”) enough.


  108. on November 14, 2007 at 11:40 am Pookie

    What was her major?

    I have no idea, but I’m pretty darn sure it wasn’t econ.

    Speaking of Princeton, I’m actually considering going there for grad school although I doubt I’m smart (or “spirited”) enough.

    Ooh, Sherry, come to Princeton! It’s a great school, and fantastic area and you could hang out at Stately IPB Manor! And while you’re down here, we could convert you to being a Devils fan! Wait, did I say that last part out loud?


  109. on November 14, 2007 at 11:41 am Patty (in Dallas)

    And while you’re down here, we could convert you to being a Devils fan! Wait, did I say that last part out loud?

    You need to be more careful with your evil plans, Pookie. Learn to keep a secret!


  110. on November 14, 2007 at 11:46 am Sherry

    Oh, hanging out at Stately IPB Manor is definitely part of what makes attending Princeton so appealing.

    And while you’re down here, we could convert you to being a Devils fan! Wait, did I say that last part out loud?

    Let it be known that I actually like the Devils but my love for the Senators have managed to survive despite living in Leafs Nation all my life. That’s true love, y’all :P


  111. on November 14, 2007 at 11:56 am alix

    Or it could just be the Leafs being the Leafs :p


  112. on November 14, 2007 at 11:58 am Sherry

    You might want to go to Duke if you’re practicing your drawl.

    There are too many schools in the States, eh? Where is Duke, anyway? I think my Canadian accent will give me away, eh?

    (I’ve clearly been abusing my coffee card already)


  113. on November 14, 2007 at 12:00 pm Sherry

    It’s the space-time comment continuum again!


  114. on November 14, 2007 at 12:00 pm Earl Sleek

    That’s true love, y’all :P

    You might want to go to Duke if you’re practicing your drawl.


  115. on November 14, 2007 at 12:01 pm Pookie

    Where is Duke, anyway?

    Duke is in Durham, North Carolina. It was designed (architecturally) to be the Princeton of the South.


  116. on November 14, 2007 at 12:04 pm alix

    South Carolina eh? You learn something everyday.


  117. on November 14, 2007 at 12:07 pm Pookie

    North Carolina, actually. You could become a Canes fan!


  118. on November 14, 2007 at 12:08 pm Earl Sleek

    South Carolina eh? You learn something everyday.

    Um, North Carolina. Some days you even learn something twice.


  119. on November 14, 2007 at 12:11 pm Heather B.

    I hate kids. That is all.


  120. on November 14, 2007 at 12:11 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    The ‘Canes are good for all Carolinians! North and South.


  121. on November 14, 2007 at 12:12 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Trouble at work, Heather?


  122. on November 14, 2007 at 12:12 pm Sherry

    You could become a Canes fan!

    I’m looking for a school, not a new team!

    Besides, I’m afraid of heat. I need somewhere where I can make use of my parka.


  123. on November 14, 2007 at 12:17 pm Pookie

    Besides, I’m afraid of heat.

    OK, that’s a negatron on Duke.

    I need somewhere where I can make use of my parka.

    Princeton gets cold! Not Canada cold, but cold! It sometimes even snows here!


  124. on November 14, 2007 at 12:17 pm alix

    Hee. I meant to type North I swear. Alix is smrt.


  125. on November 14, 2007 at 12:17 pm Sherry

    I hate kids. That is all.

    Amen!


  126. on November 14, 2007 at 12:18 pm Pookie

    I hate kids.

    Is this a play on words? No? Well, I’m with you there. Just in general. But I am sorry you had (are having?) a tough day at work, Heather!


  127. on November 14, 2007 at 12:18 pm Heather B.

    Patty, you could say that :-)

    Sherry, don’t move to the southern U.S. then. I don’t think I could handle a summer there anymore. Buffalo has spoiled me in that regard. Btw, Kate and I have worked the final of the game tomorrow up to 12-0 - 3 for Roy, 6 for Vanek, 1 for Cruncy, and two shorties. Sorry in advance for your loss :-)


  128. on November 14, 2007 at 12:18 pm Schnookie

    I hate kids. That is all.

    I hate coworkers. That is all.


  129. on November 14, 2007 at 12:22 pm Sherry

    I hate coworkers. That is all.

    Co-workers is just a synonym for kids ;D

    Btw, Kate and I have worked the final of the game tomorrow up to 12-0 - 3 for Roy, 6 for Vanek, 1 for Cruncy, and two shorties. Sorry in advance for your loss :-)

    I’m going to committ this to somewhere permanent in case I need it in the future.

    Anyways, I have to run now. Bye y’all!


  130. on November 14, 2007 at 12:24 pm alix

    I hate essays. And Oepedius Tyrannus. That is all.


  131. on November 14, 2007 at 12:25 pm alix

    Bye Sherry. Come back soon!


  132. on November 14, 2007 at 12:49 pm Heather B.

    Sherry, come back on Friday so we can celebrate the Sabres’ victory!!!


  133. on November 14, 2007 at 12:53 pm Schnookie

    I have to say, this is a terrible day for a Devils-Rangers game, because I’m supremely cranky already. What are the chances the Devils recognize my mood and how desperately I need them to win in a laugher tonight?


  134. on November 14, 2007 at 12:57 pm alix

    Acorns is going to come through for you Schnookie! He doesn’t like seeing his stalks of wheat cranky. The Sedins make the Oilers their bitches, but I’m wary of saying the Canucks are going to win, because that always seems to bite me in the ass.


  135. on November 14, 2007 at 12:57 pm Pookie

    Slim to none. Why? :)


  136. on November 14, 2007 at 12:57 pm Pookie

    He doesn’t like seeing his stalks of wheat cranky.

    :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


  137. on November 14, 2007 at 1:00 pm Katebits

    I suspect that you should pretend you don’t care one way or another if you want the Devils to win. They seem to get awfully nervous when you apply pressure. Just assume they will suck. Maybe write Patty an abusive email while you’re at it.


  138. on November 14, 2007 at 1:00 pm Pookie

    I’m off for a nice day-off lunch with Schnookie! See you all around.


  139. on November 14, 2007 at 1:01 pm Schnookie

    Thanks for the words of encouragement, alix!

    I’m going to go take a long lunch now to try to get over my foul mood. :D


  140. on November 14, 2007 at 1:01 pm Katebits

    Have some delicious vittles, guys!


  141. on November 14, 2007 at 1:10 pm alix

    Enjoy your lunch ladies!


  142. on November 14, 2007 at 1:13 pm alix

    Hee hee. There was supposed to be a comma before ladies. It looks like I’m telling you to enjoy hanging out with lunch ladies.


  143. on November 14, 2007 at 1:13 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Bye, lunch ladies!


  144. on November 14, 2007 at 1:14 pm alix

    That’s horrible, Patty! What a dumbass. If on


  145. on November 14, 2007 at 1:15 pm Earl Sleek

    Geez, I wonder what it would be like to have hockey discussed on our radio stations. Well, I guess that’s why I have my sanity.


  146. on November 14, 2007 at 1:16 pm alix

    Hmm.. don’t know what happened there to my weird half comment. Anyways, yeah what a dumbass. If only he had read the actual rational Stars blogs.


  147. on November 14, 2007 at 1:18 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Not that I was listening to the radio or anything, but in Tom Hicks’ press conference, he comfirmed my worst fears by citing what fans were saying on “blogs”. And, since there are no Stars blogs to speak of, I know he meant the DMN blog.

    What a doofus.


  148. on November 14, 2007 at 1:28 pm zot

    Geez, I wonder what it would be like to have hockey discussed on our radio stations.

    Or television, even.


  149. on November 14, 2007 at 1:42 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Geez, I wonder what it would be like to have hockey discussed on our radio stations. Well, I guess that’s why I have my sanity.

    All you h