The latest in our ongoing series of game diaries featuring teams about which we know next to nothing brings us to Dallas, for a matchup with the Kings. LA’s feed opens with a little feature about their last meeting, which they’ve decided is now being called the “Royal Rebound”. Um, no offense, FSN, but we really doubt anyone calls it that. Thanks to Center Ice giving us freedom of choice, we also have the Dallas feed, and we intend to spend some time tonight comparing and contrasting the two broadcasts, because we can’t imagine how jumping between Jim Fox and Daryl Reaugh would be at all awful or anything. (It bears mentioning that FSN Dallas is not talking up the Royal Rebound.)
FIRST PERIOD
18:30 Whoever is calling the play-by-play for the Stars tonight (if it’s Strangis, he sounds like he’s suffered a back-alley lobotomy) sucks. We flip back to the Kings feed in time to hear Bob Miller get very excited about a mundane shot on the Stars goal. The play is followed by a very cool Frolov iso highlight replay. Hm. The Kings so far have a decisively better feed than the Stars.
15:22 We have pretty much only seen the Kings this year playing the Ducks, and they kind of seem like they should be a package deal. This is so odd, seeing Stars where we expect thuggish goons to be.
14:18 Nothing interesting has happened yet, on either feed.
12:44 We are reassured that the problem is with the game and not with us, as the announcers explain there have only been three shots total so far.
12:16 JMFJ bulls down the wing and forces Smith to make a decent save against him. Pookie: “I have not been impressed by Jack Johnson yet.”
11:53 We go to commercial after Hagman takes a holding penalty, and we’re treated to a Der Wienerschnitzel commercial that features the single most unappetizing-looking foodstuff we’ve ever seen on television. And we watched Sandra Lee’s Thanksgiving special on Food Network last night, so we have a wealth of experience with nasty-looking foodstuffs on TV.
7:27 We realize this game is zipping by and we’ve had nothing to say about it. Pookie: “Well, now that I’m on the record saying Jack Johnson sucks, he’ll probably get 18,000 points.” That would be pretty exciting.
5:05 We suspect Handzus is either a total wimp or is embellishing things when he acts like he’s been shot after a gentle cross-check to the chest in front of the Stars net by Boucher. Just because, from everything we’ve heard, Boucher is a sweet, kindly angel who would never dream of hurting an opponent. Or something.
4:31 Schnookie declares that this has been the most boring period of hockey she’s seen all season. Pookie decides we should switch to the Dallas feed for the last five minutes, to see if things are spicier over there. Huh. Turns out that was Strangis doing the call. How unfortunate.
2:54 It seems Smith is allowed to handle the puck outside the trapezoid. We narrow our eyes darkly at the television. Cheater.
2:29 The name “Ott” is called as the Stars cycle lamely in the Kings’ zone. Pookie: “Ott is a name that I think should have more letters.”
1:52 Strangis cracks that the Leafs will be coming into town for the first time in “16 years”, and Reaugh gives a master class in sportscaster-style fake laughing.
0:54 Zubov tries to set up a homerun pass to a streaking forward and it doesn’t connect; LaBarbera goes out to play the slowly-advancing puck, then decides not to… and for a moment it looks to us like he’s just going to back up while watching the puck drift into his net. Alas, nothing that exciting happens.
0:00 At the buzzer, Reaugh tries to tell us this was a hard-fought, tight-checking period. He’s wrong. It was just slow, lethargic and boring.
Mr. Patty, Philippe Boucher, is interviewed to kick off the intermission. Something happens out on the ice to kick off the horn just as he’s answering Reaugh’s question about the Royal Rebound and it sounds like they’re novelty-horning out his profanities. Whatever it was he was saying, we hope it doesn’t come to that.
FIRST INTERMISSION
We pay even less attention to intermission than we did the first period.
SECOND PERIOD
18:22 In some discussion of some aspect of this game (yes, the second has picked up right where the first left off), Reaugh says something about always being “interchanging”. Pookie: “What’s that? I just very clearly heard him say ‘Go to Interchangeable Parts.’”
16:56 There is a moment of almost thrillingness as Kopitar decides to slingshot up the ice and fling a shot at Smith. Reaugh ruins things for us, though, when he describes Kopitar’s stick-handling on the replay thusly: “Look at him manipulate the pill!” Pookie: “Does he mean the puck?”
16:18 We have to give the Stars guys credit for talking a lot about the Kings. Most home broadcasts don’t go into depth about their opponents’ secondary-scoring woes the way Reaugh has in discussing how the Kings are looking for someone to skate with Kopitar.
15:28 Modano tries to match Kopitar by attempting a circling-the-net, fling-the-puck/pill-at-the-goalie-a-few-times play. LaBarbera doesn’t crack.
14:48 Anderson gets a short-distance breakaway on LaBarbera, and decides to drop-pass to a trailer instead of shooting. What?
14:37 A Star is in the box for holding, but Strangis and Reaugh are not being forthcoming with the offender’s name.
13:33 We are now convinced that Strangis got a back-alley lobotomy and is also calling this game from his cell phone after falling down a well. We go back to the Kings feed.
11:33 This is very odd – we’re getting all kinds of close-ups of the Stars on the Kings feed after seeing the Dallas feed zooming in on the Kings all the time.
10:56 Bob Miller uses a much more engaging style of play-by-play than Ralph Strangis does for fans who don’t know the participating teams’ lineups inside and out. It’s more of a traditional, radio-style play-by-play, as opposed to Strangis’ snarky, look-at-how-Reaugh-esque-I-can-be style, which we’re sure is a ton of fun if you actually know the team. This game seems 10,000 times more interesting on the Kings feed.
9:01 The Stars’ offensive gameplan seems to be to either get in behind the goal line and try to pass to a forward in front, or to lob cross-rink passes to nobody from below the faceoff dots. It has not been overwhelmingly successful yet.
7:10 There is a scroll at the top of the screen trying to tell us to book our holiday parties in VIP Suites, and the number is 1-888-KINGS-LA. Pookie: “I wonder who had 1-888-LA-KINGS.”
6:02 Schnookie: “This game is so awful! And my God – there’s more than six minutes left!” Boomer: “It feels like it’s been going on all night.”
5:49 There is a little scramble in front of the Kings net, but nothing LaBarbera can’t effortlessly shut down.
4:32 Jim Fox: “Yeah… Not much happening here.” No kidding.
4:30 Handzus gets called for tripping, and as the Kings feed gives us prolonged footage of him skating to the box, we wonder if the Stars guys are bothering to tell their viewers who this is on. We flip in time to hear Reaugh saying, “The Stars don’t have a power play tonight” right before the PA announcer bellows, “It’s time for a Stars POWER PLAY!” Well, that answers that.
3:21 Reaugh is commenting that the Kings are giving “strange looks from the penalty killers” just as the Stars feed is giving us an even stranger look at the rink; they’re using a camera set in the back corner of the upper deck. Pookie: “I feel like I’m watching from the blimp that drops coupons into the seats.”
1:23 We do a Steve Holt “Steve Ott” cheer when the man himself, with his name short a few letters (maybe an “L” somewhere in it, or a silent “PH”?), gives the Stars a 1-0 lead on a nice little deflection.
0:33 Reaugh mentions offhand that the Stars have had “the last 9 or 10 shots”. Boomer, “Yeah. Since this game started.” Pause. “Three years ago.” Pause. “When I was young.”
0:00 Reaugh sends us to intermission suggesting a 1-0 lead will be more insurmountable than 4-0 was in the Royal Rebound. “Maybe proximity will help the attention span!” That is greeted by a chorus of, “What?” from the denizens of stately IPB Manor. Pookie: “It’s like he just drew a handful of words out of a hat and decided, ‘I’ll make a sentence with them.’”
SECOND INTERMISSION
We flip to the Kings feed just in time to hear this snippet from a flavoring piece about the Kings goalie: “When I said earlier that LaBarbera doesn’t sweat, I meant that figuratively. In fact, he sweats a lot! He’s know as a sweater. That makes the sweater he wears really sweaty.”
THIRD PERIOD
We kick things off with an interview with Marc Crawford on the bench. On top of looking like his usual clueless, hapless self, he also looks like he’s convinced his spiked hair is holding his headset on, doesn’t have a great grip, and will let go if he makes any sudden moves. Pookie wails, “That’s what Zach Parise is going to look like some day! We need to stage an intervention before it gets to that.”
18:00 The Kings almost have a decent chance, with a loose puck in front of a kneeling Smith, but Dustin Brown can’t get a stick on it.
16:58 The FSN West team is trying to tell us the Kings are putting in the right kind of effort tonight, but just not getting the bounces. Now, we don’t pretend to know the first thing about this team, but we know enough about hockey to say, “Don’t patronize us, Kings announcers.”
14:52 The Modano/Halpern/whoever-is-on-that-line-with-them unit gets a nice bit of sustained pressure while the Kings employ a team defensive scheme that involves just barely getting sticks on loose pucks and shoveling them to open Stars in great scoring position.
13:42 After a Frolov chance is well defended Fox chirps, “No one collapses like the Dallas Stars!” Realizing his entire audience is thinking back to the last meeting between these teams and nodding smugly, he adds, “In the defensive zone.”
13:32 Niskanen gets called for hooking. Happy Meals!
9:48 We realize the Stars look like they’re on the power play even though they’re not, but we’re too busy in a game of one-upmanship discussing inflatable furniture (see comment 61 below) to really care. (Boomer has contributed “inflatable folding chairs” which Schnookie says had to be inflated before they could be folded out, making them “unnecessarily complicated”. Schnookie also declares the market for inflatable Shaker furniture was surprisingly dead when she invested heavily in it.)
8:21 Feeling she was left behind, Pookie casts about desperately for an inflatable furniture item funnier than what Boomer and Schnookie have offered up. She says, “How about an inflatable curio cabinet?” Schnookie: “I’d prefer a bouncy one.” Long, stymied pause. Pookie: “No. Not bouncy. Inflatable.” Play continues as before.
6:51 On some nice passing by the Stars (after some directionless and awful offensive pressure by the Kings) Hagman gets a breakaway and beats LaBarbera easily. 2-0 Stars. Pookie declared Alan Rickman will have the title role in “Niklas Hagman: The Movie”.
6:14 The Stars are on the power play again. Schnookie: “Who was that who took that penalty?” Boomer, definitively: “Handzus.” Pause, then less confidently, “Or somebody.” We are so awesome at this diarizing thing.
4:36 The Kings are getting close to having the Stars right where they want them – Ribiero makes a great pass through JMFJ to find Lehtinen in front, and it’s 3-0 Dallas. After watching JMFJ on the replay, Pookie smugs, “See?”
2:19 We go to commercial with Pookie saying, “I so want the Stars to score another goal and the Kings then to score five in the next two minutes and 19 seconds. So the Stars have to fire Brett Hull.”
1:30 Fox keeps trying to reassure Kings fans that being shut out in back-to-back games doesn’t mean they’re bad, per se. “It’s not like they’re being dominated,” he attempts to convince himself.
0:00 Wow. That felt like it went on for at least five weeks. Pookie declares, as the teams stream off the ice, “I never thought this day would come. It’s finally over! Over!”
Did you hear Razor send a shoutout???
We have the Kings feed on — what did Razor say?
Hey, it’s Monday night, shouldn’t you be at the game? Isn’t this bobblehead night or something?
I decided I was too busy to go. If it weren’t for the whole party thing, I would have. And Wednesday, too.
Cat and Caitlin over at Untypical Girls are going to bring me a bobblehead. Isn’t that nice of them?
I’ve already forgotten what the context was, but he said, “…in this game of Interchangeable Parts…”
By which, I’m sure he meant, “This game that IPB is diarizing!”
I feel bad for having turned off the Dallas feed now, what with the shoutout!
Another sign of the slow world domination of IPB.
Oh, and that’s awesome that Cat and Caitlin are getting a bobblehead for you.
Oh, that’s nice of Cat and Caitlin! Who’s night is it to be bobblyheadized?
Wow, that’s quite the shout-out! Thanks, Razor!
Now that Patty’s going to have a game diarized, I demand that you diarize a Canucks game! Haha I kid! You can diarize whatever you want.
alix, the Devils come into Vancouver this year, so you might be in luck!
I do feel pretty special, alix. The good kind of special.
If you want to switch over to the Stars side for a minute, they’re about to interview Boucher. Yummy.
Ooh, they’re interviewing Mr. Patty himself, Boucher! I hope he has a cough drop. If not, I’m going to be very disappointed. When I worked backstage at the Santa Fe Opera, one of the singers had an assistant who would meet her offstage the instant she stepped into the wings. One of the things the assistant would do was pull a cough drop out of her lapel (she had some special tape cough drop holder thing) and give it to the singer; when the singer was going to go back on stage, she’d hand the lozenge back, and the assistant would just stick it back in her lapel. Patty, I think you should do that for Boucher.
Oh yeah! I forgot about that. I was thinking in my head of Sid coming to town and that one probably getting a diary. Both those games should be good. They sold out it in Van in about 2 minutes.
I would LOVE that job!
Damn! Latendresse has scored two games in a row since I dropped him. Apparently he didn’t like all the craft time Acorns was making him do.
I do feel pretty special, alix. The good kind of special.
Um, you might want to wait until you’ve read it. :) Here at Stately IPB Manor there’s a phenomenon known as “The Mondays”. They’re like the doldrums — but 1000 times more doldrum-y.
Haha! That would be hot. I bet he’d pay you handsomely too.
Oh, I don’t expect it to be complimentary. :D There’s no way you’re going to get the requisite number of closeups of all the hot Stars if you’re watching the Kings side.
That Patrick O’Sullivan is pretty cute, though. I’m sure I’m not the first to suggest it, but let’s call him Patty O’Furniture. *slaps knee and guffaws*
I’m sure I’m not the first to suggest it, but let’s call him Patty O’Furniture.
There was an outdoor furniture shop in Scottsdale called Paddy O’Furniture’s. Considering that was a go-to pun for our father when we were little kids, I’m surprised I never even went in there…
And yeah, alix, when we’re diarizing teams we don’t know well, the end result it sheer craptitude. I don’t think Patty’s going to be feeling so special after reading what we’ve written so far. (Granted, this game is giving us nothing to work with, but still…)
Just because, from everything we’ve heard, Boucher is a sweet, kindly angel who would never dream of hurting an opponent.
He really is, and never would. :P
Unless they bother one of his teammates. Then he REALLY dreams of hurting the opponent.
It’s hard to see the details when you don’t know the players. I have the same problem with non-Stars games. I think I’m following it, but if the pbp guy doesn’t call out the names, I get lost.
Oh I’m easy to please.
Patty and Alix, I really like the uniforms that say “NAME OF CITY” across the chest. I think I might be the only person in North America who likes those, but I do.
On a completely unrelated note, I think I just ate one sugar cookie too many. And that’s my story.
I do, too, Katebits. It’s very turn-of-the-(last)century.
I think I might be the only person in North America who likes those, but I do.
I sort of like them in isolated situations, but when a bunch of the guys clump together it seems weird looking to me. But I can’t for the life of me put into words what bothers me about them.
On a completely unrelated note, I think I just ate one sugar cookie too many. And that’s my story.
I apparently have no limit. I can’t stop eating them!
I think I’d like them better if they just had a giant “D” on the front. You know, like “Big D”. Sigh. I’ll go eat more sugar cookies now.
Oooh, I wish I could eat a sugar cookie. I love plain white, sugary food.
Those blocky letters are very old-timey indeed.
I think I’m following it, but if the pbp guy doesn’t call out the names, I get lost.
*nodding* Totally, utterly, completely lost.
Sometimes, I’ll be watching a non-Pens game, and one of the teams will be wearing uniforms that have some aesthetic that makes them sorta vaguely look Pensish, and if I’m not paying a ton of attention then I start absentmindedly rooting for that team and calling the players by the Pens’ names. I’m trying to think of an example, ’cause it happened earlier this season, but I can’t remember which team it was. I think the Pensishness came from a triangular look in the logo, though.
I love plain white, sugary food.
Sugar cookies — sounds spicy!
I made the cookies so that I could try out my red and green sprinkles. So we have Christmas colored cookies served on a snowman plate. And it’s not even Thanksgiving! We’re going nuts here at IPB Manor! Breaking all the rules! As Morgan once said one game when the Devils seemed to breaking all the rules, “Next up we’re going to foul a jump shooter!”
I’m kind of coming around to the Vancouver actually. It kind of works for my kooky guys.
I lied. I do have a limit with sugar cookies. And I just passed it.
Katebits, I was about to say that you and Drury were meant for each other, what with your love of white, sugary food, but then I realized Drury doesn’t like the sugary so much. He just likes the white.
Speaking of Steve Ott, I always think of him when I see Ottawa abbreviated to “OTT”. I’ll be watching some sports channel and see the crawl at the bottom and see OTT and think, oh! what happened? Was he traded?? Oh, it’s just the Ottawa score.
I watched the Habs/Bruins game in french this weekend. That was an adventure. The coaches were having this big brouhaha and I had no idea what it was about! And I had one of those moments the Ookies described where you suddenly realize who you were cheering for. It turns out I choose Boston over Montreal.
I lied. I do have a limit with sugar cookies. And I just passed it.
Ouch. I hate that feeling when you think you could eat something all night, and then you realize 1) no, you can’t, and 2) you already went too far. Yuck.
I do that with sugary foods a lot.
Speaking of Steve Ott, I always think of him when I see Ottawa abbreviated to “OTT”. I’ll be watching some sports channel and see the crawl at the bottom and see OTT and think, oh! what happened? Was he traded?? Oh, it’s just the Ottawa score.
So, I dunno if it’s the name/place discussion you’re having here, or the double T, or both, but this reminded me of something from within the last couple years, I think it was in the NCAA basketball tourney. Actually, you may have heard about it when it happened, because the entire free world harped on it for like a week.
Bradley U. played the University of Pittsburgh. And the score graphic on the TV read:
BRAD
PITT
Hee! Tha’s cute.
I bet that’s how Brad Pitt picked his stage name. Like in the movies… just looked around the room and that game was on and said, um… Brad Pitt. Yeah. Brad Pitt.
It turns out I choose Boston over Montreal.
I don’t think I could do that unless a Pens playoff spot was on the line, and even then I wouldn’t be happy about it.
Between our playoff series against the Bruins, and Hal Gill once bringing his stick right down over Jagr’s head like he was playing whack-a-mole (yeah, to no call), I just cannot ever root for them.
The funny thing is, our games against the Habs last year were super-chippy, and more than one of their players really pissed me off. But I still can’t hate them. I’m pretty sure my allegiance is mostly due to it being Mario’s hometown. I just can’t root against the place that gave my team its thrice-over savior!
It only works when you don’t know whom to root for. If you have any hatred/allegiance at all, you kind of know before it starts.
I bet that’s how Brad Pitt picked his stage name. Like in the movies… just looked around the room and that game was on and said, um… Brad Pitt. Yeah. Brad Pitt.
How very Usual Suspects of him! :P
I guess we’re just supposed to read the out-of-town scoreboard ourselves! MAN!
Yeah, I have no connection to either team so it was very organic and in the moment. Well, I guess there is the baby Bruin from my cousin’s junior team. Maybe I was subconciously rooting for Boston because of that. I hate not getting the out of town scoreboard!
We got it, they just didn’t read it. The music kept playing loudly and nobody started talking. I’m sure there was a lot of panic behind the scenes. :D
Hee, that’s funny.
Like in the movies… just looked around the room and that game was on and said, um… Brad Pitt. Yeah. Brad Pitt.
I’m not sure if Schnookie or I have already told this story, but we both worked at a call center for a while. A caller ended up in a situation where she needed to set up a password for her insurance account, so that other family members couldn’t call us and get her health information. Long story. Anyway, when our coworker asked her what she wanted her password to be, the woman was like, “Um… um…. um… oh! I know! ‘Desk’!” The coworker was like, “You know, you probably want to pick something you’ll remember. You know, like, not just the first thing you saw just now.” The called was like, “Oh, okay. Um… How about this? Um… um… Oh, I know! ‘Cocoa’!” She finally got talked into picking something she’d remember but now whenever I think of picking random words I think, “Desk! Cocoa!” If I ever need a stage name I’m so going to take the world by storm as “Pookie Desk-Cocoa”.
The music kept playing loudly and nobody started talking.
That music was really, REALLY loud.
Katebits, I was about to say that you and Drury were meant for each other, what with your love of white, sugary food, but then I realized Drury doesn’t like the sugary so much. He just likes the white.
Drury only eats plain mashed potatoes, and paper-mache paste.
Drury only eats plain mashed potatoes, and paper-mache paste.
Mashed potatoes seem very zesty for him. I think he’d probably stick to a mash made out of rice cakes and lukewarm tap water.
Paper-mache paste! *Giggle*
Ew!
Drury only eats plain mashed potatoes, and paper-mache paste.
Only the potatoes can’t be too mashed. That would be too spicy. And he eats “paper mache” paste, not, “PAH-pee-ay MAH-shay” paste, which is what my high school art teacher called it.
I bet he mixes some plain powdered baby formula with water every morning. Drury only eats baby formula and rice cake mash.
Only the potatoes can’t be too mashed.
The potatoes are peeled and chopped into uniform, dice-sized cubes. Then they are boiled.
PAH-pee-ay MAH-shay
Is that some crazy, made-up art teacher french or something?
Drury has a sensibly boring baby formula breakfast and a sensibly disgusting rice cake mash supper. And he yells at any player who tries to eat anything else around him, just like with the music in the dressing room. Scott Gomez is just enough of an asshole though that he’s still going to give Drury some of his mother’s famous reindeer sausages for Christmas.
(*Author’s Note: Dahlia Gomez’s reindeer sausages are real. That sounded like I was making fun of the fact that they live in Alaska.)
People actually eat reindeer? Poor Santy Clause won’t have anyone to pull his sled.
Is that some crazy, made-up art teacher french or something?
Well, technically I think the medium is called “papier mache” so he was sort of right, but his pronounciation was still a wee bit over the top. Which is why I make fun of it. Mr. Herniak was a little kooky. He claimed he’d invented the inflatable chair but that his partner stole his idea and got rich off it. I would say I can’t see an inflatable chair without thinking of him, but… I’m not sure I’ve ever seen an inflatable chair.
Heh. Drury is going to be so disturbed by the reindeer sausage! I ate reindeer when I was in Norway and I thought it was quite tasty.
Oh, the millions I have lost in inflatable furniture patents!
Sleigh, not sled! Santy Clause is no common toboganner.
Oh, the millions I have lost in inflatable furniture patents!
I know, right? I’d have been able to quit my job ten times over if not for Schnookie always stealing my plans for inflatable divans, inflatable chesterfields, inflatable davenports, etc, etc, etc.
Santy Clause is no common toboganner.
Santy Claus is trying to be the best imaginary toboganner he can be. Have all the Crunchy fans here seen the video that was on Sabres TV last season where the guys were answering what the best Christmas present they ever got was? Crunchy talked about the goalie mask that “Santa brought him”. What an unexpectedly adorable thing for him to say!
OK, we were just trying to come up with the funniest type of furniture to be inflatable and I think Schnookie won with “inflatable Shaker set”.
Awwww. I am so in love with Crunchy these days. I wish I had seen that video! I think they purged the website of anything with the slag-faced ones, so it is gone forever. Rats. I SO want to see Crunchy talk about Santa!
The corporate espionage that plagues the inflatable furniture industry really in an outrage. So many innocent lives have been ruined.
He claimed he’d invented the inflatable chair but that his partner stole his idea and got rich off it.
Did you call him “The Chairster?”
Eh, that’s lame. I can’t think of anything that works like “The Napster.”
I would say I can’t see an inflatable chair without thinking of him, but… I’m not sure I’ve ever seen an inflatable chair.
I most definitely have, but only in stores. Now I can’t even remember WHAT stores.
Awwww, Crunchy is such a cute little button.
inflatable chesterfields
OK that is like the best name for a band.
Inflatable chairs were all the rage when I was about 12/13. Everyone on my block had them. But I’m sure my mum threw mine out, otherwise I could have brought it to the 08 draft potted plant cotillion or something.
inflatable chesterfields
OK that is like the best name for a band.
I think we might have just found Sid’s favorite band!
HA!
I think we might have just found Sid’s favorite band!
DUDE!!!!
Their first album, “Robot Boy Hits the Ice,” was killer….
Their first album, “Robot Boy Hits the Ice,” was killer….
“Normal Jeans (Saddest Song in the World)” was #1 on the charts for 87 straight weeks.
Oh, poor Sid! I bet he listens to Normal Jeans over and over on his Fisher Price tape deck.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I found “Can’t Call You, Mom (It’s Game Day)” to be particularly poignant.
And I liked the complimentary superbottle of hair gel that came with each copy. Who needs bonus tracks?
I bet he listens to Normal Jeans over and over on his Fisher Price tape deck.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::
He has the little plastic red headphones that have bright yellow foam over the earpieces.
I found “Can’t Call You, Mom (It’s Game Day)” to be particularly poignant.
Quite! It’s balanced nicely by the up-beat stylin’s of “1,001 Interviews (Uh-huh, Uh-huh, No)”.
It’s balanced nicely by the up-beat stylin’s of “1,001 Interviews (Uh-huh, Uh-huh, No)”.
Not to mention “Five New Friends in A Day (Halifax Song).”
“Ode to Giovanni” has so far just found a niche audience.
Inflatable Hoosier cabinets?
(The Song)?
Inflatable Hoosier cabinets?
What’s a Hoosier cabinet? Are they a Texas thing?
Hee!!
“I Don’t Actually Wanna Meet Your Daughter” hasn’t been popular.
Um, can I just say how sad it is that we’re coming up with these so easily?
Ookies. Are you getting the post-game show? That’s the John Rhadigan guy that sits at the table like a hamster, with his little paws together.
And he’ll talk in a normal broadcast voice while Ludwig will mutter imperceptibly.
“Five New Friends in A Day (Halifax Song).”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::
How about the power ballad “Other Guys Like Metallica, Why Can’t I?”
Well a “Hoosier” is an Indiana native so it’s probably from there.
How about the power ballad “Other Guys Like Metallica, Why Can’t I?”
Or even “Ya Gotta Skate Before You Can Play,” and the anthemic “Who Moved My Cheese(Ted)?”
He totally is sitting like a hamster!
What’s a Hoosier cabinet? Are they a Texas thing?
It’s a Hoosier thing!
Here’s one on ebay.
Schnookie just looked up Hoosier cabinet and I have to say, if I could get my hands on an inflatable Hoosier cabinet, it would be the cookest thing ever!
That studio dude totally looks like a rodent with his little paws are pulled up to his chest!
…anthemic “Who Moved My Cheese(Ted)?”
:^:::::::::::::
“Who Moved My Cheese(Ted)?”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I’m fairly confident I can’t top that!
Thank you, thank you. I clearly know far too much about my captain, even if it is mostly fictitious.
I like that Hoosier cabinet.
The controversial “lost track” that is legend in Inflatable Chesterfield fan circles is “I’ll Put It In Your Five Hole If You’ll Put It In Mine (Chastity Brank Remix)”.
:^:::::::::::::: Wow. I’d be mighty impressed if someone can top that one.
The post game show is like a high-school production.
I won’t be happy until I have a Hoosier cabinet! They look so cool!
And when I say that one I mean Cheese Ted.
“I’ll Put It In Your Five Hole If You’ll Put It In Mine (Chastity Brank Remix)”
He probably has no idea that it might have a double meaning. :D
I bet there’s a place in your new kitchen that is crying for one!
That ebay one is only $260. I think that’s a steal for a nice Hoosier cabinet!
For some reason my brain can’t play this Sid’s-favorite-song game, but you guys are being very hilarious!
Okay, for the first time, they finally realized they need to turn Luddy’s mic up. Just when I’m trying to prove to my friends that they have no clue!
I’ll listen with you, Katebits, since I can’t top any of those, either. :D
Hee. Sid’s like “I thought we were playing goalies!” “Why are you taking off your goalie gear?”
I bet there’s a place in your new kitchen that is crying for one!
Actually, there isn’t, but I’m now looking at Depression-era glassware that I found through the Hoosier Cabinet Dot Com site. I am not the kind of person who actually has any of this kind of stuff, but I kind of wish I was.
Sid’s like “I thought we were playing goalies!” “Why are you taking off your goalie gear?”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Poor Sid.
Haha! Good one, alix.
Hey, has Crunchy ever said if he wears 30 because of Marty?
The controversial “lost track” that is legend in Inflatable Chesterfield fan circles is “I’ll Put It In Your Five Hole If You’ll Put It In Mine (Chastity Brank Remix)”.
Oh, I thought that made it to the third album under the title “Maria, You’ve Got the Key (Now Turn It!)”
Back up, Schnookie! It’s a very slippery slope!
Back up, Schnookie! It’s a very slippery slope!
No worries, Patty — I know what I am as a kitchen-user, and what I am doesn’t include Depression-era glass. As much as a little voice in my head wishes I was more like that. I will say, though, that I’ve been pointing things out to Pookie and saying wistfully, “That’s the sort of thing Patty would have.”
“I thought we were playing goalies!” “Why are you taking off your goalie gear?”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Now I really know I can’t top any of this (particularly when Pensgirl’s brining Maria into the mix!), so I think might call it a night. Good night everyone!
I am so getting a Hoosier cabinet when I move out of Rez. I must have one. Uncle Mario keeps the key to Sid’s chastity belt in a Hoosier cabinet.
‘Night Pookie! I really should hit the hay myself, but I’m going to be OCD and wait ’til 11:30 on the dot.
Okay, I just found a website that makes new Hoosier cabinets, and it brags, “We ship to all 48 states!” That’s great, Amish Peddler.
Night Pookie!
“We ship to all 48 states!”
I bet it’s not counting Connecticut. Mainly ’cause I didn’t like it there. What other state is so useless that they wouldn’t ship cabinets there? Oh, I know. Florida. Right.
The Amish don’t like machine-made history books.
“Night all!
G’night Patty!
What other state is so useless that they wouldn’t ship cabinets there?
I’m going to go with South Dakota and Louisiana.
‘Night, Patty!
I’m going to go with South Dakota and Louisiana.
Nah, South Dakota’s capital is “Pierre,” which is pretty cool, and Louisiana brought us creole food and Zydeco music, for which I will always love it. It’s gotta be Florida. Look what that piece o’ crap state stuck us with.
I don’t like to be so easily pegged, Schnookie. But I guess I have to admit that I actually bought a Sellers cabinet for my kitchen. It’s just a different brand of the same kind of thing, only mine is one of the side pieces when you get the 3-piece set. So, just a tall narrow pantry cabinet. Very cute though.
Wait! I’m not leaving!
:D
I was just saying ‘Night to all the ones that were. :D
Woops. I forgot to read about the third period. I’ll go do that now.
Ok, I should maybe actually do some of my reading for half an hour. Night everybody!
Oh, I thought you were moving on out, Patty! Sorry! Your cabinet sounds delightful! And a bit more understated that a full-on Hoosier cabinet. I mean, the Hoosier demands a matched set of jadeite or milk glass, and has that goofy flour bin, and who wants to be married to that? :D
I see you mentioned Happy Meals! :D
Just to give credit, my pals over at Untypical Girls came up with that name when they saw a whiteboard in the background of an interview that said, basically, “NISKANEN BUYS LUNCH…HAPPY MEALS???”
They’re just as fascinated by whiteboards in the background as the Ookies are.
You’re right, Schookie. I actually think the flour bin is a major space-waste. I would never put flour in such a wide-open container and if you don’t, there’s nothing else to do with the whole side there.
Sorry the game wasn’t too entertaining for y’all! I loved it. :D
They’re just as fascinated by whiteboards in the background as the Ookies are.
It’s a sign of supreme intelligence and discerning taste, being obsessed with NHL whiteboards. (Ones that say “Niskanen buys lunch… Happy Meals???” are especially awesome, though.)
And yeah, that flour bin thing is just stupid. I even bake bread and have a ten-pound canister of flour living out on my counter at all times and think that’s stupid.
Sorry the game wasn’t too entertaining for y’all! I loved it. :D
I figured you would!
It really wasn’t that bad, but when you start a diary, and the game turns out to be really slow to get going, you end up in a downward spiral of boredom and misery, as the seconds tick off the clock and you realize it’s been longer and longer since your last comment… It’s rough. I try not to go more than 2 or 3 minutes between comments, and when 6 or 7 go by in the first and the announcers keep having to remind themselves that there’s a game going on, well, it’s hard. (And this has nothing to do with how well I know the teams. Devils games this season have been like pulling teeth.)
I imagine it’s tough to believe the pace has picked up, even if it does, when it starts out so slow.
I’ve been noticing Ralph being a little sluggish lately. Now, of course, I’ll be obsessed by it. I have a theory. He’s been acting in plays around town during his off-season. I bet he’s starting to like that better, and the hockey game calling is starting to wear a little thin. Personally, I don’t see how it could, but there you go.
Are you serious that Ralph is pursuing a career on the stage? Or is the entire theory fictional? Because I really hope you’re joking.
I am totally not joking.
Wow. That’s just… Wow. Heh. If I’d known that ahead of time, we’d have had a field day with it!
Haha! Guess you’ll have to do another one now, eh?
Did you know that Razor’s wife and Brendan Morrison’s (Vancouver) wife are sisters? That’s the only interesting thing I know about him.
That’s creepy and bizarre! (Especially considering both Razor and Morrison seem like total tools. The parents of those women must wonder where they went so terribly awry. :P)
Especially considering both Razor and Morrison seem like total tools.
:^:::::::::
Well, on that note, I think it’s time for me to head off to bed. My four-day weekend was heavenly, but alas, I have to go back to work tomorrow. MY LIFE SUCKS! :P
Sorry! Good night, Schookie!
I’m off to bed, too.
Ok I know you both are gone, but B-MO is actually really lovely and sweet and totally not a tool! I doubt I’ll sway you at this point but I just had to say/type that. Good night!
You can sway me, alix, because I have no idea. I’ll believe you.
Razor’s kind of a tool, but I don’t think he’s as much of one as Schnookie does. Probably more than Morrison.
That’s the John Rhadigan guy that sits at the table like a hamster, with his little paws together.
See, while I do think he looks vaguely rodent-like, when we watched the post-game show on Friday, all us Untypical Girls, plus Caitlin’s little sister, started making T-Rex noises. He looks like his arms are abnormally short! Like a T-Rex!
Also, Ookies, you called Niskanen Happy Meals!! You have no idea how happy that made me, seriously.
Also, when we rewatched parts of the game at home, we TOTALLY heard Razor say “Interchangeable Parts”. I still have the game on my DVR, maybe I can record a sound clip or something and send it to you guys.
Y’all are a creative bunch. Inflatable Chesterfield’s song titles are absolutely brilliant.
But now I have BNL’s “If I Had $1,000,000″ stuck in my head, because that’s the only place I had ever heard the phrase “inflatable chesterfield” before.
Also, Ookies, you called Niskanen Happy Meals!! You have no idea how happy that made me, seriously.
:)
You should have seen the uncontrollable giggling at IPB Manor when we read your post about the origin of Happy Meals. So freakin’ funny! I’m not going to be a little sad when we don’t see such hilarious goofiness on the Devils’ whiteboards. (Or Devil’s whiteboard, depending on which dressing room we’re talking about.)
that’s the only place I had ever heard the phrase “inflatable chesterfield” before.
Wait, the words “inflatable” and “chesterfield” have been used together before? I’m so sad. The only time I’ve ever heard the word “chesterfield” was in an article about Scott Niedermayer, in which Carol Neidermayer said the boys used to jump on the chesterfield. Thus it’s always seemed like a really funny, old-fashioned, strangely Canadian word to me.
Alright, I’m off to teach the wonderful world of Flickr to non-web people! Wish me luck!
Inflatable furniture? How about inflatable hover-bikes?
http://www.sluggy.com
Thus it’s always seemed like a really funny, old-fashioned, strangely Canadian word to me.
Ok, now I’m a moron. BNL didn’t use inflatable chesterfield. They used nice chesterfield (or an ottoman). I’m blaming the last post on my lack of coffee. Look, a hobo! :::runs:::
And have fun with the flickr people, Pookie.
Article: Crosby works overtime for media
The stylists, Rachel Thomas and Khalilah Williams, showed Crosby two black jackets, one leather.
“I’ll wear whatever you want, but I wouldn’t usually wear this stuff,” said Crosby, who arrived in jeans, a T-shirt, a gray hoodie and a Reebok ballcap.
Crosby headed for the men’s room to try on a pair of black slacks, black jeans and a thin black long-sleeved sweater. Neither pair of pants fit, so he went with the sweater and his jeans, which probably will be darkened to black by computer to fit with the magazine’s theme.
Poor Sid. Even a sports magazine can’t dress him! They shoulda called Giovanni….
Poor Sid. You’d think they could have found an interview somewhere where he sadly points out that he has to have his jeans custom-made. I mean, we did, and we have no vested interest in knowing that.
Poor guy. I just want to hug him, and then herd all those “stylists” away from him.
I am entirely unclear on why I came back to work today. I can’t believe how my normally totally harmless job went from its regular benign self to being a raging monster of sucktitude in the span of just two vacation days. At least my pants fit, though, unlike Sid’s.
Poor guy. I just want to hug him, and then herd all those “stylists” away from him.
I know, right? The only stylist I would be OK with getting her hands on him is my hairstylist, ’cause she’d do a gel intervention.
Reading the full article, I was torn between thinking “Poor Siddo, so accommodating for all these bizarre things,” and “Sid – try to have some fun if you’re going to do it anyway!” (like with the hat thing – how sad is that?).
Oh, I am so glad y’all blogged this game! Patty, I’m sorry you didn’t get to attend this one. They showed Sixty Seconds with Sergei “Russian” Zubov, played that awesome Bouche highlight reel and teased the new calendar, too.
Every single time they put Niskanen in the box, I couldn’t help but think, “Happy Meals in a box!”
Also, poor Sidney. I just got a mental image of him vainly trying to struggle into some pair of designer pants, with a stylist in the background saying, “It’s a no-go on the pants. His thighs are just too massive. …What’s Plan B?”
I can’t believe how my normally totally harmless job went from its regular benign self to being a raging monster of sucktitude in the span of just two vacation days.
Sorry to hear that, Schnookie. We spend too much time at work to have it be a raging monster of suckitude.
At least my pants fit, though, unlike Sid’s.
You would think people who work for a sports magazine would realize that athletes in pretty much any sport have body differences that must be accommodated. I mean, I know ESPN ignores hockey, but it’s not like he’s the very first NHL player they ever did a shoot with, either.
I mean, I know ESPN ignores hockey, but it’s not like he’s the very first NHL player they ever did a shoot with, either.
Probably not even the first time they’ve done one with Sid!
Fashion people are in their own world and they think anybody worth taking a picture of should be able to wear skinny jeans.
I knew I should have gone, Caitlin! But if I had, they might have lost! I hold quite a bit of jinx power, you know.
Ewww, I didn’t know the Rangers were at the top of the division now. That’s just gross. Poor little Sidbits. He’s just healthy and fit! Probably the only hockey player that could fit into skinny jeans is Crunchy.
Caitlin, I’m glad you enjoyed the game diary! It, um, is hardly going into the archives as one of our finest moments, but we had fun with it. :P (And seriously, the introduction of “Happy Meals” into my hockey vernacular has dramatically improved the quality of my life.)
alix, “gross” hardly does justice to the state of the Rangers right now.
Well, it wasn’t the best Stars game ever, either, Schnookie. I’m sorry. I know it dragged at times. If I weren’t a Stars fan, I would’ve just broken out the Stoli.
Incidentally, Ott’s nickname is (unsurprisingly) Otter. A couple of years ago, the Stars did a calendar where they all posed with animals, and it was Ott with otters from the Fort Worth Zoo. I wish I could find that somewhere…
Well, just so you know, the inclusion of IPB words and phrases has made life so rockin’. And you have NO idea how freakishly happy Cat and I were that Razor said “interchangeable parts” on last night’s broadcast.
A couple of years ago, the Stars did a calendar where they all posed with animals, and it was Ott with otters from the Fort Worth Zoo.
And Boucher posed with a giant snake wrapped around him
There was a report that Modano was chased out of his shoot by some wild animal and when the calendar came out he was posing with something completely different. And more tame.
And you have NO idea how freakishly happy Cat and I were that Razor said “interchangeable parts” on last night’s broadcast.
Hee! I flip out every time I hear it, too — it’s like I think we have complete ownership of “interchangeable parts”. I wonder if everyone who’s using a standard hockey term feels the same way. Patty, do you get a little “Oh! They’re talking about my blog!” thrill when people talk about penalty killing during games?
Patty, do you get a little “Oh! They’re talking about my blog!” thrill when people talk about penalty killing during games?
I totally do! It’s not nearly as rare so sometimes I forget. They’ll say some team’s Penalty Killing is the best in the league and I’ll think, “Nuh-uh! Mine is!” :D
I think my heart just broke in a zillion little pieces for Sid. I think the pants would have fit, but because he’s a nevernude who refuses to take off his Giovanni cut-offs, he just went to the changing room, made noises like he was trying them on and then announced, “Sorry, they don’t fit!” The stylist was then stuck with 8 pairs of Hammer pants that Sid swore up and down won’t fit.
Pookie,
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
(Nevernude and hammer pants, to be specific.)
Poor Sid. He’s probably reading the article and thinking, “Sheesh! Why do they always have to mention whether my pants fit!?!”
The stylist was then stuck with 8 pairs of Hammer pants that Sid swore up and down won’t fit.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
What is it about these Shattuck Boys and their nevernudeness? First Zach, now Sid… Who next? Staffy?
I agree with Pensgirl, the stuff about the hat was just too sad. I’m imaging he was a lot like Ebony was from this season of ANTM. Jay said, “Sid, play with the hat!” And Sid just pouted and looked dumb until finally Jay rolled his eyes and said, “Forget it. Guys, we’ll photoshop in a hat later, okay? Let’s just get this over with.”
Sadly, I don’t anyone will ever mention a Humming Giraffe during a hockey broadcast :P And Sid is so a nevernude, there’s no question.
Poor Sid. He’s probably reading the article and thinking, “Sheesh! Why do they always have to mention whether my pants fit!?!”
I know! He’s all, “I never had body image problems before I came to the NHL, but now it’s all ‘caboose this’ and ‘caboose that.’ I’m a freakish monster!”
Staffy’s never without his leopard pants. He’s a little shocked that was allowed to be uploaded to MySpace, since in his mind, he’s rocking without benefit of clothes.
I always pictured Staffy as the guy that goes streaking through the quad. But I guess he could streak with just the leopard pants on.
But I guess he could streak with just the leopard pants on.
“Why not,” asks Staffy, “In fact, I’m streaking in leopard pants right now!”
Staffy SO thinks he’s nude when he’s in leopard pants. No question about it.
What is it about these Shattuck Boys and their nevernudeness? First Zach, now Sid… Who next? Staffy?
No WAY! Staffy is totally that dude in the lockerroom who makes everyone uncomfortable by being naked all the time, even when he there is no logical explanation for nudity. Ever time he goes into the locker room he takes off his pants and then stands just a little too close to everyone else. He’s an ALWAYSnude!
You mean, Staffy’s like Joe Thornton.
Is Joe Thornton like that? Hmm. Interesting.
Yes, and quite.
There was an episode of “Shark Byte” in which his constant nudity was discussed. Then Drew Rumenda when from guy to guy asking what advice they’d give Britney Spears. One guy said he’d tell her to wear clothes more often. He added, “I’d give that advice to Joe, too.” I seem to recall an awkward pause as the player and Drew realized that if you can give the same advice to a teammate that you’d give Britney Spears, you’re in trouble.
Staffy thinks he’s an alwaysnude, but he’s still wearing the leopard pants.
I dunno. I think he believes in his heart that the leopard pants are more obscene than plain old nudity, but I think he knows the difference. Staffy is very comfortable with his body. Too comfortable.
Staffy is very comfortable with his body. Too comfortable.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
He stands there almost touching his teammates with his nudeness (I feel so Victorian writing it that way!) and when they shoot him a “Dude! Back off!” look, he just responds with that ocean-wave eyebrow lift and a stern little smirk. It’s especially difficult for a guy like Crunchy to deal with.
“Staffy thinks he’s an alwaysnude, but he’s still wearing the leopard pants.”
Of course, Crunchy has the leopard jock strap. I’m sure, more often then not, they end up wrestling in the middle of the locker room. Leopard print and body hair everywhere. But only after a win.
Exactly! He freaks everyone out by almost grazing them with his Staffybits. He’s never actually grazed anybody, but the threat is always there.
And Sid is so a nevernude, there’s no question.
If you ever watch the Pens’ post-practice and postgame lockerroom interviews, Sid and Colby are the only guys who seem to ALWAYS be wearing a top of some kind. The rest of ‘em will sometimes have a shirt, sometimes not…I don’t think it’s just cutoffs – there’s a whole little outfit!
I don’t think it’s just cutoffs – there’s a whole little outfit!
It’s his mimesuit! He can’t be without his mimesuit! And his little beehive epaulets. (I don’t know if we’ve mentioned it here, but Boomer floated a theory that those shoulder pads Sid wears are actually little bee-dispensers, so bees regularly fly up and sting his lips to keep them nice and plump.) (Needless to say, we’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of combining that idea with “You can’t have bees in here.”)
No wonder the Sabres seem so on edge this season!
No wonder the Sabres seem so on edge this season!
I know! And they all have to go to a sexual harassment seminar now because of Staffy. Crunchy keeps threatening to sue.
A bee dispenser?! :^::::::::::::::::::
Leopard print and body hair everywhere. But only after a win.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
After losses the leopard print just seems less spotty, the body hair less fluffy. It’s all too sad to get the energy up to wrestle.
The bee theory would explain why he looks nothing like his father (I can’t remember what his mom looks like).
Needless to say, we’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of combining that idea with “You can’t have bees in here.”
Bees?
BEADS!
BEADS?!
Also? No touching!
I know! And they all have to go to a sexual harassment seminar now because of Staffy. Crunchy keeps threatening to sue.
Crunchy actually doesn’t understand why they have to go to a sexual harrassment seminar. He’s all like, “Why are we going to this dumb thing? I want Staffy to have to go to a personal space infringement seminar. What about what he’s doing is sexual harrassment, though? It’s not like I have a problem with someone else’s bits grazing me.” (And would a GAY MAN feel that way?)
(I can’t remember what his mom looks like).
His mom looks EXACTLY like him. At the awards show I nearly lost all the soft tissue in my head by snorting it up my nose when they showed her in the crowd. She was like a plump Sid wearing a wig and a dress.
I want Staffy to have to go to a personal space infringement seminar. What about what he’s doing is sexual harrassment, though?
Well, Crunchy has got a good point here. Staffy’s aggressive nudity is not sexual in nature; he’s just expressing himself. It’s also true that it’s not the bits Crunchy takes issue with (whatevs, Staffy), it’s the standing too close.
At the awards show I nearly lost all the soft tissue in my head by snorting it up my nose when they showed her in the crowd.
Oh, you mean the awards show I didn’t see because by the time they aired it, I was too flippin’ tired to watch? Gotcha. Gotta love truck fires and no communication with viewers.
They show Troy on TV about fifty times a period whenever he’s at a game…I think I’d recognize him if I saw him on the street. Which is just plain wrong.
It’s also true that it’s not the bits Crunchy takes issue with (whatevs, Staffy), it’s the standing too close.
It’s also the arrogance. Crunchy expects his lesser teammates to back off from the staggering force of his death glare, but Staffy always just meets that glare with the ocean-wave eyebrow and smirk. Crunchy wants to take him to court just to teach him a lesson about how serious he is when he’s death glaring.
Schnookie, I think you’ve arrived at the crux of the trouble in the Sabres lockerroom! Staffy and Crunchy just stand there, fighting for control of the locker room with their eyes. Crunchy tries to death glare Staffy into submission, and Staffy just ocean-waves his eyebrow at Crunchy in response. They are locked in a mortal battle. It’s really wigging everyone else out.
Crunchy is considering getting Pommerdoodle to inject botox into Staffy’s face in his sleep to paralyze the offending eyebrow.
Crunchy is considering getting Pommerdoodle to inject botox into Staffy’s face in his sleep to paralyze the offending eyebrow.
That bad news is that Pommerdoodle can’t tell Staffy and Vanek apart. And he’s very bad at administering Botox injections. So he keeps shooting the stuff into Vanek’s legs and then reporting back to Crunchy that he did the job just as he’d been told to. The end result is that Vanek can hardly skate and Staffy just keeps waving his brow arrogantly at Crunchy. It’s terrible.
Oh, Pommerdoodle! He’s so effing hapless!
Okay, I could go on like his all day, but I have to go back to work. Talk to you all later.
Have fun!
So he keeps shooting the stuff into Vanek’s legs and then reporting back to Crunchy that he did the job just as he’d been told to.
I guess we can scratch seeing eye pommerdoodle off of post-hockey career choices for Pommerdoodle then.
I guess we can scratch seeing eye pommerdoodle off of post-hockey career choices for Pommerdoodle then.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
He also really hates wearing the little harness.
He also doesn’t look both ways before crossing the street.
He also tends to chase things without thinking.
I agree with Pensgirl, the stuff about the hat was just too sad.
When I read that about the hat, I was totally on Sid’s side! I guess I was the only one. I imagined him thinking: Dude, I’m not a 10-year-old. Play with the hat? What kind of pictures are you hoping to get with that lame idea.
I hate those kinds of pictures in photo spreads, where they try to get the victim to ham it up in some random way. All you need to do is get him to laugh and then take a picture of him. As he laughs.
And he sometimes humps people’s legs. (Now that one they needed sexual harrassment seminars for.)
When I read that about the hat, I was totally on Sid’s side! I guess I was the only one. I imagined him thinking: Dude, I’m not a 10-year-old. Play with the hat? What kind of pictures are you hoping to get with that lame idea.
I hate those kinds of pictures in photo spreads, where they try to get the victim to ham it up in some random way. All you need to do is get him to laugh and then take a picture of him. As he laughs.
Oh it’s most definitely a stupid request. But it’s one that should be easy to fulfill. I pictured him more thinking “I can’t shoot this, I can’t pass it, what do I do with it?” But here’s the thing: he could have taken a stick to it. He had one…bat it around, flip it in the air and have it land on the blade. Something! He just seemed so lost, and the fact that he’s done shoots like this for years…it makes me sad that he can’t find a way to have fun with it. Or to at least try. Maybe he has yet to learn the difference between being private and hiding your personality. I hope he does, because in the moments where he drops his guard he’s quite affable and charming.
Maybe he used to to do all that kind of stuff and now he’s just beaten by it. I know he’s only been in the NHL for a couple of years, but he’s been hounded for ten, probably.
And it might be the only time he didn’t go along, and we just didn’t hear about it all the other times he clowned it up. Judging from the stylists, it didn’t sound like a really good crew.
I just feel so sorry for him, I want to be on his side. :D
When he came to town for the All-Star game, the midday dork was going on about how hard it was to get an interview with him. I mean, he IS on the biggest station in town, and he IS the one that knows about hockey and he IS the famous one that everybody loves! What’s the deal? Why so tough to get five minutes with the kid??!
He just didn’t get that he is one of a THOUSAND that want “five minutes with the kid what’s so hard about that?”
And no matter what clever comment you try to disguise as a question, he has heard it before. No matter what you want him to do at a photo shoot, he has heard it before.
I might just be attributing my feelings about my job to him, now that I think about it. If he’s anything like me, the stuff like that that he has to do probably starts out beating him, then if it’s even a little different from all the hundreds before that, he perks up and we see what he’s really like.
Whoa. Rant. Sorry about that. :D
I’m on my way to a job interview, maybe my stance will change. :D
Ohhh! A job interview! Good luck, Patty!
Break a leg at the job interview, Patty!
Good luck, Patty!
I feel bad for Sid all the time. He looks so LONELY. If I remember correctly, when he was here in Dallas he got kicked out of the post-All-Star game party at the W’s bar because he was underage…even though he wasn’t drinking. (I think it was held at the W, at least.)
Poor guy, he never seems to be able to just loosen up. It’s like Lemieux beat all the fun out of him or something.
There was a report that Modano was chased out of his shoot by some wild animal and when the calendar came out he was posing with something completely different. And more tame.
This is 100% true. Modano was supposed to pose with a binterong, but the binterong apparently did not like hockey, and went a little nuts. I don’t remember what Modano posed with instead. Whatever, binterongs are annoying and bitchy anyway.
Whatever, binterongs are annoying and bitchy anyway.
I can’t think of how many times a day I find myself thinking that. Those annoying and bitchy binterongs! Always ruining things for the rest of us! :P (Now I’m going to go look up what a binterong is…)
he’s been hounded for ten, probably
At least. I’d be annoyed as all get-out to do that stuff all the time; I’m not saying it is objectively fun. But I guess the way I see it is if I’m going to agree to do something anyway, I’m going to try to enjoy myself while I’m at it, even if there are a million other things I’d rather be doing.
I want to be on his side. :D
Aw, nobody’s against him! I think it would be easier for him if he’d relax a little. Time goes by so much faster when you’re not feeling tortured!
And to think, binturongs are kept as pets by a tribe (I can’t remember which one though) in Malaysia. I suspect they lack hockey though.
Knock ‘em dead at your interview, Patty!
I feel bad for Sid all the time. He looks so LONELY. If I remember correctly, when he was here in Dallas he got kicked out of the post-All-Star game party at the W’s bar because he was underage…even though he wasn’t drinking. (I think it was held at the W, at least.)
That’s so sad. What’s the point of being named an All-Star if you can’t go hang out with these people that you’re probably only ever going to meet once in your life? I mean, I know the bar was setting itself up for a bunch of liability issues if god forbid, he was drinking, but this is one case where I wouldn’t mind a rule getting bent for a pro athlete.
Someone ratted on him to the management, I think! How pathetic is that.
“Someone ratted on him to the management, I think!”
His uncomfortable silence and ginormous ass were probably freaking out some of the patrons.
His uncomfortable silence and ginormous ass were probably freaking out some of the patrons.
The bees weren’t helping either.
W Management: You can’t have bees in here.
He looks so LONELY.
I think he probably is. He’s mentioned having the same group of friends from home, and it’s evident the other young guys on the team genuinely, but he really has nobody who can relate to him.
Poor guy, he never seems to be able to just loosen up. It’s like Lemieux beat all the fun out of him or something.
I know you guys just kid about Mario, and I try to keep mum in light of that, but I can’t hold it in any more. It’s not Mario! He never hid his own personality from us, and he’d have no reason to tell Sid to.
It’s this @#%! modern age, where all the kids are media-coached as soon as some adult figures out they’ve got talent. Sid walked into the NHL already brainwashed.
The other guys on the team genuinely LIKE HIM. Word to the Wise: do not flip back and forth between editing a blog comment and editing a memo!
Someone ratted on him to the management, I think! How pathetic is that.
It is super pathetic, particularly in light of what young Hollywood gets away with. Geez, just draw an X on his hand and let him stay!
I know you guys just kid about Mario, and I try to keep mum in light of that, but I can’t hold it in any more.
It’s okay, Pensgirl, let it out! I have my own issues with Lemieux…but I’ll agree that he’s a great hockey player who has done a lot for Pittsburgh. With regard to Sid, I just tease when it comes to Mario.
I’ll agree that he’s a great hockey player who has done a lot for Pittsburgh
It’s more than just that. My brother was in Mario’s hockey camp when he was about 13, and part of the camp was pictures and autographs with Mario. He ended up having one in his long line of back surgeries about a week before the pictures were to be taken. Everyone thought he’d have to reschedule…we’re talking disc issues! But he didn’t. He sat there, kid after kid on his knee, smiling for each shot, talking with each one and giving them a good time. And then he came for the scheduled signing and sat there for hours as greedy parents shoved a billion things in his face. MOPG stood by watching all of this, and when he got up and left, as soon as he thought nobody could see him, she said his face filled with pain. He was in agony that whole time, but he refused to let those kids down.
I will never have anything but reverence for him.
MOPG stood by watching all of this, and when he got up and left, as soon as he thought nobody could see him, she said his face filled with pain. He was in agony that whole time, but he refused to let those kids down.
Oh, my god. Okay, newfound respect for Lemieux…dear god.
Now might be a good time for a gentle reminder that 99.99% of what we say on this site is based entirely in our own imaginary mythologies for these guys. None of it is reflecting on what we think of them as actual human beings. When we say that Mario keeps Sid in a turret without food, water or access to pretty girls, we don’t mean it as a mark against Real-Life Mario’s character.
When we say that Mario keeps Sid in a turret without food, water or access to pretty girls, we don’t mean it as a mark against Real-Life Mario’s character.
Wait, so that’s… not true?
Wait, so that’s… not true?
It is, Heather, but Pensgirl was getting worked up about it, so we thought we’d pretend we’re joking. :P
Now might be a good time for a gentle reminder that 99.99% of what we say on this site is based entirely in our own imaginary mythologies for these guys.
WHAT!?! For reals? My whole world just came crashing down around me.
“Now might be a good time for a gentle reminder that 99.99% of what we say on this site is based entirely in our own imaginary mythologies for these guys.”
Except in the case of Avery, Tucker, Neil, Emery, any Flyer, Doc Emerick, and um…we’ll say the Avalanche, just for good measure.
WHAT!?! For reals? My whole world just came crashing down around me.
It even sucks when the IPB fourth wall comes down…
WHAT!?! For reals? My whole world just came crashing down around me.
I’m so sorry. That .01% percent though? All true. (That’s the part that includes Boxworthy, everything we’ve ever said about Crunchy, and that Sid lives in a turret without food, water and access to pretty girls.)
Except in the case of Avery, Tucker, Neil, Emery, any Flyer, Doc Emerick, and um…we’ll say the Avalanche, just for good measure.
Oh, that’s a good disclaimer! And everything we say about the New York Rangers and any current, former or future employees of said franchise is God’s honest truth. We never make anything up about them.
“That’s the part that includes Boxworthy, everything we’ve ever said about Crunchy, and that Sid lives in a turret without food, water and access to pretty girls.”
HA!! Holy Crap! Oh man, that was funny.
I’m so sorry. That .01% percent though? All true. (That’s the part that includes Boxworthy,…
Whew, I wouldn’t want to live in a world without turtles-of-affairs.
Whew, I wouldn’t want to live in a world without turtles-of-affairs.
Me too. Especially not without one that can someone keep a revenge ledger and drive a car despite having no opposable thumbs and short limbs.
I wouldn’t want to live in a world without turtles-of-affairs.
Who would?
I read an article in which Paulie Martin described the team’s d-corps as being inclined to “go into a shell” when the going gets rough. I was like, “Shell?!? Oh my word, there really is a turtle-of-affairs! Why else would Paulie use turtle symbology?”
Whew, I wouldn’t want to live in a world without turtles-of-affairs.
Me too. Especially not without one that can someone keep a revenge ledger and drive a car despite having no opposable thumbs and short limbs.
Seriously guys, who could make something like that up? Boxworthy is proof that truth is often stranger than fiction.
When we say that Mario keeps Sid in a turret without food, water or access to pretty girls, we don’t mean it as a mark against Real-Life Mario’s character.
I know, that’s why I haven’t said anything before! But it’s hard, because I make fun of just about everybody, but I just can’t with him. Not even fictional Mario. I get why “Unkie Mario” is funny, I just can’t play along!
Oh, that’s a good disclaimer! And everything we say about the New York Rangers and any current, former or future employees of said franchise is God’s honest truth. We never make anything up about them.
Don’t forget the Bastions of Evil in Filthydelphia.
“Don’t forget the Bastions of Evil in Filthydelphia.”
Heh, I bet if we sat here and made an official “IPB hatred” list, it just might turn out to be longer than the list of players we do like.
Sid lives in a turret without food, water and access to pretty girls
Well, everybody knows he wouldn’t be who he is if he didn’t subsist on a diet of rubber and ice chips with little ads on them.
I’m pretty sure that by typing something in a comment section on the interwebs we are (legally speaking) making it true.
Boxworthy is proof that truth is often stranger than fiction.
Indeed.
Actually I think it’s pretty easy to figure out what comes from your imaginations. Like when you say Jay Pandolfo is the Devils leading goal scorer. Wow, such active imaginations you girls have.
Heh, I bet if we sat here and made an official “IPB hatred” list, it just might turn out to be longer than the list of players we do like.
Pookie and I considered doing a sister series to our 118 Reasons We Love Hockey, but realized we have waaaaaaay more than 118 reasons why we hate hockey. It seemed like posting them might defeat the purpose of the original series.
Hee! Reasons We Hate Hockey!
Heh, I bet if we sat here and made an official “IPB hatred” list, it just might turn out to be longer than the list of players we do like.
My roommate has pointed out to me how much more often I say I hate someone than I like someone. I’m sure I could rattle off the guys I like in a short list. The same could not be said for the ones I don’t!
Pookie and I considered doing a sister series to our 118 Reasons We Love Hockey, but realized we have waaaaaaay more than 118 reasons why we hate hockey. It seemed like posting them might defeat the purpose of the original series.
I could see that working as a point / counterpoint type thing. Example: Love Hockey because of the joy brought by your team’s signing of a good free agent. Hate Hockey when said free agent – by now known as a slag-faced whore – departs your favorite team for even greener pastures.
I’m pretty sure that by typing something in a comment section on the interwebs we are (legally speaking) making it true.
You’re absolutely right. And with great power comes great responsibility, which is why I’m going to say now in allcaps: ZACH PARISE IS TRANSGENDERED. (What? Lou started it.)
Like when you say Jay Pandolfo is the Devils leading goal scorer. Wow, such active imaginations you girls have.
Hee! It’s funny because it’s true — and also really, really tragic. (I have to say, the PandoManiac in me is delighted he’s our leading goal scorer, but the Devils fan in me is thinking, “Oh dear.”)
I’m pretty sure that by typing something in a comment section on the interwebs we are (legally speaking) making it true.
Ever see Craig Ferguson’s late night show? He loves to say “It’s written down; it must be true.” Hee!
ZACH PARISE IS TRANSGENDERED.
Ohhhhhh, THAT’S why he’s prettier than I am.
Mike Keenan would have to be on my love and hate list. Paulie really is involved with Ms.Pancake right? I don’t know what I would do if that weren’t true :p
“I have to say, the PandoManiac in me is delighted he’s our leading goal scorer, but the Devils fan in me is thinking, “Oh dear.””
HA! I feel the exact same way about Douglas Murray playing head and shoulders above the rest of the Sharks D. It’s mindbottling.
Paulie really is involved with Ms.Pancake right?
Well, he doesn’t think they’re seriously involved, but I heard from someone who works at IHOP that she’s expecting a short stack — and it’s his.
Gosh, don’t anybody mention the interview if you comment over on my blog. I forgot I’ve mentioned it to a couple of people at work.
I’ve made a huge mistake.
Mum’s the word, Patty! (*tiny whisper* How did it go?)
(I had to go into my office on my day off, so I’m not sticking around here long enough to catch up. I gotta get outta here. I’ll be back in an hour or so.)
“Well, he doesn’t think they’re seriously involved, but I heard from someone who works at IHOP that she’s expecting a short stack — and it’s his.”
:^::::::::::::::: I knew it!
alix, can you believe Bryz went to Phoenix? Weren’t we just talking about that on Friday!? Crazy that he actually ended up there!
alix, can you believe Bryz went to Phoenix? Weren’t we just talking about that on Friday!? Crazy that he actually ended up there!
You guys are such hockey geniuses!
And alix, it’s not hard to spot. Walking, talking pancakes can’t hide their “baby bumps” very well.
Leaping Lizards! I just had to go and look at the stat-leaders for the Devils. Karel Rachunek leads the team with a +10 in the +/- category.
Oh, and Andrew, I’m sorry to report that the Kentucky Cruisers ran out of patience with Cheechoo and placed him on waivers. Radulov has been called up to take his roster spot.
Hee! I laughed when I first heard the news. And I thought to myself that Andrew must by psychic. Or best buddies with Bryz :p
Or calling the Coyotes to tell them what to do! :D
Very true, Schnookie. I wonder if the kid will look more like a pancake or more like a hockey player. Maybe in 25 years we’ll see pancakes in the running for Norris trophies.
Karel Rachunek leads the team with a +10 in the +/- category.
It’s just that he’s wearing 28. The lucky Devil who gets to wear that sweater automatically has his minus turned into a plus. Which explains Brian Rafalski’s stats from last year.
“Oh, and Andrew, I’m sorry to report that the Kentucky Cruisers ran out of patience with Cheechoo and placed him on waivers. Radulov has been called up to take his roster spot.”
Well, you did what had to be done. Is Radulov playing well?
(Also, if you’re looking for a sleeper…Setoguchi is the new Cheechoo. 7 goals in 10 games, and has earned a fixed spot on Thornton’s RW)
“And I thought to myself that Andrew must by psychic. Or best buddies with Bryz :p”
We hang out, watch Darkwing Duck together.
I do not like thinking about a human-sized pregnant pancake.
Pancakes can’t be pregnant. That’s disgusting.
Katebits, what if they just break off into new pancakes like amoebas?
Are you pancake-ist, Katebits? They’re breakfast foods too you know! They just want to be treated like all the waffles and french toast around. Paulie can’t help it that he fell in love with her sweet sweet batter. They’re going to live in perfect harmony and there’s nothing you can do about it! Admit it, you want them to burn on the stove!
Pancakes can’t be pregnant. That’s disgusting.
It’s that kind of prejudice and hate that keeps Paulie and Ms. Pancake from ever finding happiness. Shame on you.
“Admit it, you want them to burn on the stove!”
“It’s that kind of prejudice and hate that keeps Paulie and Ms. Pancake from ever finding happiness. Shame on you.”
Oh my god, you guys are killing me.
Listen, I am perfectly FINE with Paulie and Mrs. Pancakes love, I just don’t think they should be allowed to have kids. It’s unnatural.
I feel a lot better about the baby pancakes breaking off in some sort of ameoba-like situation.
“It’s unnatural.”
Stay away from our pancake women! You…you…hockey player!
Is Radulov playing well?
He got off to a slow start with rest of the team, but over the past month he has been producing about a point per game.
And speaking of unlikely team-leading goal scorers, Radek Bonk leads the Preds with 8 goals.
All this talk of pancakes is making me hungry.
Or better yet, when Paulie and Mrs. Pancake decide they are ready to have children (not that I approve, but I understand I can’t stop them), how about they just mix up a batch of pancake batter in a loving ceremony, and fry up a couple of kids on the stove? I just don’t understand the biological implications of a pregnant pancake. I don’t understand it, and I refuse to respond.
how about they just mix up a batch of pancake batter in a loving ceremony, and fry up a couple of kids on the stove
They could wrap the pancake over a breakfast sausage! :P
“And speaking of unlikely team-leading goal scorers, Radek Bonk leads the Preds with 8 goals.”
godamnit. Bonk was my pick for Mike Chen’s Crappy Player Pickem’. Why did he have to pick this year to start scoring goals?
Stay away from our pancake women! You…you…hockey player!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I just don’t understand the biological implications of a pregnant pancake. I don’t understand it, and I refuse to respond.
Well, she is a walking, talking pancake, not just a regular old non-anthropomorphized pancake.
I always liked Bonk, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with anything but his name. It’s just so much fun to say.
I liked him because he hasn’t scored more than 12 goals for the past 3 seasons. Well, he’s shooting that all to hell.
Damn, now I really want some pancakes.
Well, she is a walking, talking pancake, not just a regular old non-anthropomorphized pancake.
Is she a woman in a pancake costume? Or a normal, extremely large, carbohydrate-filled pancake? These are the kinds of questions I don’t want to have to answer.
Okay, I’ll stop now! I must be jealous of Mrs. Pancake and Paulie or something.
Is she a woman in a pancake costume? Or a normal, extremely large, carbohydrate-filled pancake?
She’s an extremely large pancake that walks and talks. I don’t think this can be made any clearer.
Hold on — I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the question of what Ms. Pancake is. “A woman in a pancake costume”? What does that mean? Are you suggesting there’s a chance she’s not a real pancake?
I fear that which I do not understand.
godamnit. Bonk was my pick for Mike Chen’s Crappy Player Pickem’. Why did he have to pick this year to start scoring goals?
Wait, don’t the most points win that pick’em? Shouldn’t you be happy? That’s what I gather from looking at the (needs to be updated) leaderboard.
Are you suggesting there’s a chance she’s not a real pancake?
All I know is that if I see a walking talking pancake, I’m going to be very confused. My instinct would be to fight her, or maybe eat her, I certainly wouldn’t start dating her and then try to make a family with her. I am just very confused about Paulie now. I thought he was a good Minnesotan boy, with upstanding morals and values, and now I find out he is cavorting with a walking talking pancake?
This would be so much easier to understand if she was just a woman, posing as a pancake.
I have no idea why i am so amused today by attacking Ms. Pancake! In reality, I have no qualms about her. She is free to live her life as a pancake. I’m she would make a wonderful mother.
I have no idea why i am so amused today by attacking Ms. Pancake!
Sometimes we just don’t have rational reasons why we lash out. :D
I’m finally outta here, guys. This was quite possibly my worst day at work in years (in large part because I actually had to do work, and in teensy-tiny small part because I was being a cranky bee-yotch), so now I’m going to go relax by doing my Thanksgiving grocery shopping. FUN! See you later!
Bye, Schnookie!
See ya Schnookie. Don’t forget the sweet potatos!
“Wait, don’t the most points win that pick’em? Shouldn’t you be happy? That’s what I gather from looking at the (needs to be updated) leaderboard.”
Y’know, I don’t even know if that pool has any rules. I just pick a good n’ crappy player and let it ride.
(I have to say, the PandoManiac in me is delighted he’s our leading goal scorer, but the Devils fan in me is thinking, “Oh dear.”)
Same thing here last season when Boucher was leading the scoring. I was all, “That’s great!!!” Then, “that’s great.” (plus eyeroll)
And alix, it’s not hard to spot. Walking, talking pancakes can’t hide their “baby bumps” very well.
At first, she just tried to pass it off as a butter pat.
:^::::::::::::::
Ookies, Bucci is trying to trade Marty and Pando to the Pens.
“Bucci is trying to trade Marty and Pando to the Pens.”
he also has DiPietro, Erik Johnson, and Cam Ward as Hall of Fame picks.
Clearly Bucci’s been sniffing glue out in the parking lot.
I’d make that trade in a second and the one for Mats Sundin. Those are the guys that always kill us so why not? I had to wonder if Bucci was sniffing the Zamboni exhaust.
he also has DiPietro, Erik Johnson, and Cam Ward as Hall of Fame picks.
Listen, I know Ryan Miller doesn’t have great personal numbers, but Cam Ward and Rick DiPietro? And no Ryan? Really, Bucci? You sir, are a maroon, first class.
Also, I cannot believe that when I sat down to watch Versus, I found two divisional opponents who I am completely tired of seeing this month. Thanks for nothing, Versus!
Jordan Staal, Sergei Gonchar and Marc-Andre Fleury for Martin Brodeur, John Madden and Jay Pandolfo. Would you do it?
I just read this to Pookie and she said, “So who else would we be getting from the Pens?”
I just read this to Pookie and she said, “So who else would we be getting from the Pens?”
I dare you to send Bucci and email that simply says, “Hell no” with no explanation.
(Cam Ward?!)
well this is fantasy blog isn’t it?
I am also puzzled by Bucci’s argument against Recchi being a HOFer is that Zach Parise is on pace to have the same sort of career numbers. Um, after just two seasons, Zach has become the definitive example of the guy who’s NOT a HOFer? What? Bucci is just… I don’t even know. I give up.
I dare you to send Bucci and email that simply says, “Hell no” with no explanation.
I think I’ll send this instead:
Dear Bucci,
You made my brain cry.
Love,
Pookie
P.S. If Chris Drury “is clutch and clutch is everything in life”, where are his Stanley Cups. (Please note that is plural. Cups.)
P.P.S. My friend Heather loves the baby naming thing. Keep up the good work.
(Cam Ward?!)
Well, he said in his column that he’s going to have 450 wins. You can’t argue against that number, right?
Bucci saying Cam Ward is going win 450 games is all the proof I need to support my theory that he knows not a single thing about our fine sport.
Mom! I would so NOT take that trade. Chances are great that even if we won that trade in the short-term, we’d lose it in the long-term, and haven’t we spent enough time looking for a goalie? Our last franchise goalie was TOMMY. We need to give MAF the chance to be the next one.
Not to mention, look at Gonchar’s point totals versus Whitney’s. We get rid of Sarge, our goals go down. We can’t afford that right now.
Best part of Bucci’s “column?” That baby is clearly pissed off that her parents had the audacity to slap a Flyers logo on her. It’s probably burning a hole in her!
P.S. If Chris Drury “is clutch and clutch is everything in life”, where are his Stanley Cups. (Please note that is plural. Cups.)
Dear Bucci,
How come Chris couldn’t win a freakin’ face-off to save his life during the ECF last season?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Love,
Buffalo
P.P.S. My friend Heather loves the baby naming thing. Keep up the good work.
Not nice, Pookie!
And yes, Bucci totally lost me during the Recchi/Parise paragraph. Totally.
And yes, Bucci totally lost me during the Recchi/Parise paragraph. Totally.
I literally cannot figure out what he’s saying there. Does he mean that if Recchi = Brind’amour, and Brind’amour = HOF, then Rechhi = HOF and if Parise/Gionta = Recchi, wouldn’t they also = HOF?
*Pookie’s brain sheds another tear*
And yes, Bucci totally lost me during the Recchi/Parise paragraph. Totally.
I want to make it clear that I’m not sitting here going, “Zach should be in the HOF!” or anything. I just don’t get this, “Well, he’s got the same numbers as that Parise kid, so… that’s an automatic no.” I mean, what? Although considering Bucci’s putting Erik Johnson, Kane and Toews in based on a grand total of 20 games played, I guess Zach should consider himself weighed, measured and found wanting.
I just emailed him my question about Drury’s multiple Stanley Cups. What do we think, over/under 5 words in response? I’m going way under. As in “zero”.
I am also puzzled by Bucci’s argument against Recchi being a HOFer is that Zach Parise is on pace to have the same sort of career numbers.
That got me too. If Rex is in, and Parise will have a Rexish career, then what’s the objection to Parise being in? Does he have something against little guys?
Actually, he does. He didn’t include St. Louis. Vinny is amazing, but where would he be without Marty? Those two should go in together, like twins.
I also didn’t get his comment that Tkachuk was a cusper like Brindy and Rex because Keith was “never durable.” Um, aren’t Brindy and Rex the very definition of durable, and therefore easily distinguishable from Tkachuk?
Ah, crap. Damn endtags!
Yeah, I like Toews and Kane but… come on. For all the frustration tossed at Vanek atleast he’s produced for a couple of seasons. Have the first 18 games of the season destroyed his career? And if that’s the case, why are we overlooking Cam Ward absolutely sucking it up last season? He’s got half of a good season (if that much), a craptacular season, and 19 good games under his belt. Sounds like a sure-fire HOFer to me!
I suppose the real question is why are we trying so hard to make sense of this column at all?
Although considering Bucci’s putting Erik Johnson, Kane and Toews in based on a grand total of 20 games played, I guess Zach should consider himself weighed, measured and found wanting.
Yeah, where’s Ludacris when you need him? I even think it’s too soon to say yes to Phaneuf and Stastny, and maybe even Sid and Ovie, too. I mean, these guys are all capable of having shoo-in careers, but what if something tragic happens? Do we start putting in guys who we think WOULD HAVE made it if they’d lasted longer? Should Michel Briere (the Pens’ promising phenom who was killed in a car accident) be in there? I mean, let’s not put the horse before the cart.
DAMMIT!! My brain is not working. The CART before the HORSE.
I suppose the real question is why are we trying so hard to make sense of this column at all?
Yeah, that really is the crux of it, isn’t it? Every time I read his column I swear to myself I’m never going to again. But then someone comes along telling me, “Bucci’s got Pando traded to the Pens!” and I can’t help but go look. (And seriously, that trade he proposed is so stupid on so many levels that it almost goes up there with the “Brodeur and Colin White for Miller and Biron” deal I stumbled across online a year ago.)
And seriously, that trade he proposed is so stupid on so many levels that it almost goes up there with the “Brodeur and Colin White for Miller and Biron” deal I stumbled across online a year ago.
But come on! You lose now, and we lose later! It’s win-win!
But then someone comes along telling me, “Bucci’s got Pando traded to the Pens!” and I can’t help but go look.
Man, you need new friends! Who would do that?!
I mean, let’s not put the horse before the cart.
There’s NOTHING Bucci hates worse than horses before carts. NOTHING.
Ewww. If Phaneuf goes in, I don’t know what I’d do. I think my brain would start crying and then blow up. Can’t STAND that guy! But Bucci is a total idiot. Just not even worth it to try and understand his logic.
Hee! Nothing heats up the IPB comment thread like a Bucci column!
I did correct that little o_O in my next comment, but you are right. Bucci seriously hates horses before carts.
But come on! You lose now, and we lose later! It’s win-win!
You value Gronk, Gonchar and Fleury a lot higher than I do — I see that trade as a “we lose now and we continue to lose as long as those guys are in our lineup” sort of deal. :P
Man, you need new friends! Who would do that?!
SERIOUSLY! The person who brought this to my attention tonight is a total skank. But don’t tell her I said that, okay?
Nothing heats up the IPB comment thread like a Bucci column!
You know what he does that I wish I could do at work? Write a paper that asks a certain question and then blow it off to talk about something else that I like better, but that nobody asked about.
SERIOUSLY! The person who brought this to my attention tonight is a total skank.
Heather! Schnookie just called you an SKANK! On the INTERNET!
You know what he does that I wish I could do at work? Write a paper that asks a certain question and then blow it off to talk about something else that I like better, but that nobody asked about.
I know! I wish I could do that too. Of course, I’m a secretary, so really what I’d be wishing is that when someone asks me to arrange a videoconference for them, I’d instead present them with a poorly-written paragraph about Hakan Loob and REM lyrics.
SERIOUSLY! The person who brought this to my attention tonight is a total skank. But don’t tell her I said that, okay?
I’ll try not to mention it. That bitch.
PG, I hate when Bucci runs a letter in his mailbag and then runs an answer that doesn’t go with the question at all. Like, he doesn’t even pretend like he’s going to answer the question.
Geez, I emailed him again. A total waste of time since he probably just deletes anything from my address at this point but I felt Crunchy needed a little defending. (Because somewhere he’s going, “Cam Ward?!”)
Heather! Schnookie just called you an SKANK! On the INTERNET!
That makes it TRUE!
(Pookie was opening a google doc for tonight’s post when I wrote that. I started giggling and announced, “I just called Heather a skank.” Pookie was like, “Wha-HUH?????”)
You value Gronk, Gonchar and Fleury a lot higher than I do — I see that trade as a “we lose now and we continue to lose as long as those guys are in our lineup” sort of deal. :P
Actually Gonchar would help you now. He’s scoring at the right pace. Staal and Fleury will be fine. Seems to me Jordan should simply NOT be a center at this level – but he’s so effective defensively and especially on PK that he’s got major value outside of points – and Fleury’s is more likely than not to end up being a reliable franchise goalie.
Besides which, I guarantee you that if we traded him, he’d develop into the next Marty and we’d look like assholes for getting rid of him.
Meanwhile, Marty, Madden, and Pando would all be gone from the Pens in a span of 3-5 years, and we’d have nothing left to show for getting rid of a 19YO and a 22YO.
I had totally forgotten about the word “skank”! It’s such a goodie!
“I just called Heather a skank.” Pookie was like, “Wha-HUH?????”)
Hee!
It IS, Kate. It’s one of those words that means exactly what it sounds like it should mean. I’m fairly certain you could call someone a skank in the presence of an alien on its first day on Earth, and the alien would be all, “HOLLA!”
I almost feel like Fleury needs a change of scenery. He’s kind of like Kalinin. I love Tri and I think he’s good enough to keep but he’s been beat around so much during the past few years that it might be good for him to play somewhere else.
I’m fairly certain you could call someone a skank in the presence of an alien on its first day on Earth, and the alien would be all, “HOLLA!”
Pensgirl, I use “an alien on his first day on earth would get it” as en example for why something is obvious all the time. I love that one.
but he’s so effective defensively and especially on PK that he’s got major value outside of points
See, we’ve got a young guy who can do that, has size, and actually is capable of playing center at this level. We call him Travis Zajac. But seriously, defensively-effective, PK-capable forwards are not something the Devils are ever lacking. And ours come cheap, something Gronk isn’t likely to do. I remain pat on my stance that you think more highly of Fleury than I do, Pensgirl. (But I have a tendency to think less of everyone’s goalies. I constantly say of the highly-touted goalies from other teams, “I’ll believe it when I see it!” And then the go win the Cup and I’m like, “Well, I still don’t believe it.”) Oh, and that leaves Gonchar. Well, there’s no question we could use some offense from the D, but I’d not give up any of the three guys in question to get what Gonchar has to offer.
the alien would be all, “HOLLA!”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
You know it!
Hey, Heather, is that the first time you’ve ever been called a skank?
I’m fairly certain you could call someone a skank in the presence of an alien on its first day on Earth, and the alien would be all, “HOLLA!”
HEE!
Hey, Heather, is that the first time you’ve ever been called a skank?
I believe it is! My students have covered just about everything else but somehow they missed skank. I guess I should write this date down!
Hey, Heather, is that the first time you’ve ever been called a skank?
I highly doubt it. :P
Just kidding Heather!
I almost feel like Fleury needs a change of scenery.
Groooooaaaaan, PLEASE don’t say that! That’s what has happened to ALL of our promising young goalies! Please don’t tell me we have a goalie hex!
PG read TWM and click the link..all is well in MAF-land for the future. dig it.
of course, there was Lalime, Sebass, Moose, etc….
Groooooaaaaan, PLEASE don’t say that! That’s what has happened to ALL of our promising young goalies! Please don’t tell me we have a goalie hex!
Again, I’ll break out the Kalinin comparison. MA and Tri both started playing for the big team at very young ages – probably too young – have been up and down, clearly struggled with their confidence, and are fan whipping boys. That’s tough. I don’t know about MAF but Tri has really gotten to the point where it doesn’t matter how well he plays, no one sees it. And the second he screws anything up – even the smallest thing – the insults are pouring down. Toni Lydman passes the puck to the opponent right in front of Crunchy for a goal? Eh, we move on. Tri does something similar or even less dramatic? We’re putting him on the next train back to Russia. (Ummm… if trains went to Russia.)
So atleast see if you can get people off his back, PG. I’m not having much success here.
(And yes this turned into more of a commentary on Tri than MAF. Sorry.)
Alright, I’m off to the grocery store. Wish me luck.
Uh, this just in…
Penguins’ center Sidney Crosby is the runaway leader among Eastern Conference players in all-star balloting announced today.
Crosby has received 94,118 votes, nearly twice as many as the runner-up, Montreal defenseman Andrei Markov (48,134).
Um, Andrei Freakin’ MARKOV is second? Who the hell is voting on this thing?!
Boston defenseman Zdeno Chara is third with 45,949
Seriously. WHO IS VOTING?!
Good luck, Katebits! I’m sure the madding crowds have dispersed a little. (My store wasn’t so bad at 5:30…)
The Sabres website is asking me to vote for the Sabres All-Star nominees. I love you guys but no.
Toni Lydman passes the puck to the opponent right in front of Crunchy for a goal? Eh, we move on.
Toni Lydman passed that puck right in front of Crunchy because I was practicing instead of paying attention to his every move. It was a momentary lapse of reason, and it was totally my fault! Don’t send him back to Finland on a train!
of course, there was Lalime, Sebass, Moose, etc….
This is what I’m saying. And my real fear is that because Patrick brought MAF in, his goalie black-thumb tainted le Fleur. I really, really don’t want that to happen.
My fear about Heather’s statement is that he NEEDS the change to improve, just like all those guys did. I really don’t want that to be the case!
I was at the store at 5:30, too, and it wasn’t too bad. I didn’t see you there, Schnookie! Must have been on a different aisle.
Kate, I thought you were leaving…? Okay, okay, we won’t send Toni back. But this is what I’m saying! No one even suggests it. They just roll their eyes and say, “Well, Toni does that once in a while.” Why can’t they do the same for Tri? Why?!
Okay, I’m leaving now for reals. I just had to make sure Heather wasn’t putting Toni and his suitcase on a train. I’ll try to be nice to Tri. He’s a nice square-faced fella.
Toni Lydman passes the puck to the opponent right in front of Crunchy for a goal?
That is very Pens of Yore of Toni. ALL our defensemen have done that to ALL our goalies. It makes me want to beat them with the goalie stick.
So at least see if you can get people off his back, PG. I’m not having much success here.
(And yes this turned into more of a commentary on Tri than MAF. Sorry.)
I’m trying. It’s frustrating for sure to go on the roller coaster ride of a young goalie, but I definitely have seen where MAF has been mishandled by the organization, and THAT is what worries me more than anything. I think if he’s given the right tools, he WILL become a franchise goalie. I just hope he can get those tools here, and be OUR franchise goalie.
I was at the store at 5:30, too, and it wasn’t too bad. I didn’t see you there, Schnookie! Must have been on a different aisle.
Patty, were you the one with the 22-pound turkey? :D
He’s generally very steady and dependable but every five or six games he has one turnover that is just putrid.
Meanwhile, I get jealous watching other teams when they retreat into their own zones, spin around in one of the circles, and then regroup from there. Ours all skate back to the goal line and then send wild cross-ice passes from basically behind MAF, and sometimes they even edge the crease. Scares the living crap out of me.
That is very Pens of Yore of Toni. ALL our defensemen have done that to ALL our goalies. It makes me want to beat them with the goalie stick.
Toni is awesome in that regard. He’s generally very steady and dependable but every five or six games he has one turnover that is just putrid. It’s like a big hand grenade being tossed in front of Crunchy. It’s really like, for a few seconds, another player takes over his body. But then he snaps right back out of it.
Ours all skate back to the goal line and then send wild cross-ice passes from basically behind MAF, and sometimes they even edge the crease. Scares the living crap out of me.
Tallinder and Lydman hardly ever do this and even Spacek is okay in our zone. But Campbell…. eek. I like him very much but he is an adventure back there, passing right across the front of the net and doing his little spin-o-rama in the defensive zone. He’s not very good for my heart.
He’s not very good for my heart.
See, I try to look on the bright side. My heart beats so fast that it’s like I’m exercising, right? So, watching my team’s scary defense is like hopping on my elliptical, yes?
PG, I like that. I guess I should be glad Soupy’s getting so much ice-time then, huh?
Exactly, Heather. It’s a workout!
Ewww, why do the Canucks always play so puketastic against the Oilers.