Greetings, Gentle Reader! We regret to inform you there will be no formal diary for any of tonight’s games. After a week of diaries, we’re ready for a night off! However, we’ll be around offering some commentary and thoughts. First on the docket is Sabres-Hurricanes. Secondly, we’ll be cueing up Pens-Leafs on TiVo delay. We’re waiving our usual plea of “no spoilers!”, so comment to your heart’s content.
We’ll be updating this as we go along.
– It is no secret that we are nerds. So it was with much delight that we stumbled on this video on nhl.com:
Tom Preissing made a font joke! Not only that, but it was a font joke that Pookie has referenced twice (garnering no response, she’ll add) in the last two weeks while teaching the basics of Microsoft Word at work. How, we ask you, can we not love this guy! Courier New! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
– In non-hockey news, Schnookie wants to issue a public service announcement. If you are shopping at the Pennington Quality Market grocery store, be careful of the cubanelle peppers. They were labeled as such, looked like just sort of small cubanelles, but after chopping them for our dinner tonight, Schnookie absently rubbed one of her eyes and discovered, as the soft tissue around her eyeballs burst into flame, that they are decidedly not cubanelles. Here’s a dramatic reenactment:
Schnookie, chopping like a Benihana chef “Oh dear, my eye itches.” Finishes chopping, drops peppers in pot, washes hands and goes to rub her eye with the back of her hand “AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!”
– We don’t really settle down in front of the TV until about midway into the first. So we don’t have an opinion on the first goal.
– Or the second.
– We’re watching the Canes feed, and they hilariously, with the Sabres up 2-0, give us a little interview clip of Cory Stillman telling us how important it is for them to jump out with an early lead against Buffalo. Stillman looks, in this interview, as if he was just dragged out from beneath the overpass he lives under.
– Staffy, looking for an in-game snack, attempts to eat Eric “Hooters” Staal’s brain. “Staffy stomp such small portion size! Stomp! Stomp!”
– While we’re speculating on the severity of Hooter’s apparent wrist/arm/upper-/lower-body injury, we hear Forslund say the words “interchangeable” and “parts”. Everything here at Stately IPB Manor screeches to a halt. Schnookie nearly does a spit take with her chardonnay. Pookie almost aspirates an entire forkful of spaghetti. Boomer gasps, “Is that a shout-out?” We have no idea what he was talking about, so yeah it was a shout-out.
– After 20 minutes we’ve got to say, the Sabres look like a team that’s fully capable of winning just about any game they want to. We haven’t watched much of them this year, in part because they’re always playing the same nights the Devils are and in part because there was only so much sucking we could handle at one time, but they look pretty darn good here tonight. Of course it helps that the Canes apparently thought they weren’t going to have to actually skate this evening.
– We flip momentarily to the Sabres feed, and hastily flip back when confronted by Mike Robitaille dressed as a giant eggplant.
– Pookie’s been a serious sports fan for 14 years, and yet she still tends to assume that the team is playing in whatever city the feed is coming from. So tonight, when given the requisite intermission beauty shot of the area around the arena, she thinks, “Gosh, that’s an awfully big waterfall there in Carolina!” She’s… not too bright.
– We’ve heard a lot of home announcers on Center Ice being harsh on their teams in our day, but we’ve never heard this complaint: when FSN shows Erik Cole looking hurt and beaten down on the bench, Tripp Tracy says sternly that the Canes need to buck up and improve their “body language”. He just said his team is looking too much like a bunch of panty-waisted doily-makers! (Pookie is not paying a ton of attention while this monologue is happening, and just hears them saying they’re going to look at what play Cole got hurt on. When she looks up, they are showing a slick scoring chance by Afinogenov, and she says, “How lame do you have to be to get hurt by Max? Oh, that’s not the play he got hurt on. Sorry.” They proceed to show the play Cole got hurt on… and it’s a hit by Max.)
– Goose gets a chance swooping in around Grahame’s net, but ends up running out of real estate and then not being able to pivot very well to circle in tight around the goal. Schnookie: “Wow. Goose just isn’t very good at turning on a dime, is he?” Pookie: “Yeah, I was about to say, ‘That guy really can’t skate!’ but then I realized who it was. And I was like, ‘Oh.’”
– We get up to clean up our dinner dishes with about 4 1/2 minutes left in the period and the game going to commercial break. We come back and it’s 4-0 Buffalo. Clearly the Sabres just need us to not be in the room. And wowza, are the wheels ever falling off the Hurricanes! (Tripp intones funereally, “This is, without doubt, the most desperate time in the Canes season thus far.” Sabres fans, rejoice!)
– Pookie would like for everyone to just pretend Staffy scored on his penalty shot.
– This is the last time we take a lazy Saturday night approach to games. We wandered off during intermission to cut and dredge the marshmallows we made this afternoon, and come back just a few minutes late for the start of the third period, and it turns out Roy has made it 5-0 on a short-handed goal. We’re like those fans who spend their entire arena experience milling about at the beer stands! (And seriously, Grahame is still in? Is Ward that bad? Don’t answer that.) (Because we know the correct answer is, “Yes.”)
– Okay, this game is now 5-0 and we haven’t seen a single one of the goals, so when we hear that the Stars are laying a whuppin’ on the Flyers, we decide to flip over there.
– The Stars go to commercial after a few uneventful minutes, and we flip back to the Sabres and discover we are not being the best televised hockey watchers we can be tonight. It’s now 6-0. Roy gets a shorthanded breakaway and just barely misses; that would have been a goal if we’d not been watching.
– Goose suffers from our presence, too, when he beats Grahame on a three-on-two, but rings the puck off the pipe. Sorry, Sabres! We’re leaving now, we promise!
– This is a really great blog post, isn’t it? Who wouldn’t want to read all about all the exciting hockey stuff we keep missing?
– We’re back on the Flyers-Stars game in time to see Riley Cote leave his feet and hit Matt “Happy Meals” Niskanen’s head with a flagrant and flying elbow. Here we go with a 6th suspension in 25 or so games (or at least it should be). There is nothing we can say about his that other bloggers haven’t already covered, but the fact is, we feel for Flyers fans stuck with an organization that stock-piles players with a lower respect for their opponents than the average player on other teams. That said, listening to the crowd booing the call, maybe our sympathy is unwarranted.
– It should be mentioned that we have the utmost confidence that if a certain Mike “Mikey C” Commodore hadn’t missed this game for a finger injury, the score would have been very different. Or something.
– Hey, Gentle Reader, remember when we said we were going to watch the Pens-Leafs game? Yeah, we sorta kinda lied. Since we said “no spoilers” we had no compunction against checking out the final score and the game summary. Pookie summed it up best when she said, “Well, Sid had a point. And that’s really what’s most important here. Wait. That’s really all that’s important here. Shall we try out Super Mario Kart on the Wii instead of watching this loss?”
– While slowly getting our acts in gear to make some hot chocolate, we flip over to the Blackhawks-Blues game in time to see King for the Blues score. Between the 8-1 Sabres win and the 4-1 Stars win there were 14 goals scored in the games we tuned in to tonight, and this was the first goal we actually saw scored.
– Our Saturday Night Hockey journey has come to end as we’ve finally answered the siren song of our Wii. We only just hooked it up to the wifi, so the wonders of the Virtual Console are only know available to us. We’re ready to enjoy the Sabres big win and Sid’s point (and mourn the Mikey C-less Canes terrible performance) while taking MarioKart for a spin (har har) and, to bring this post full circle, celebrate our nerdiness by being the only people excited to download SimCity. Yeah, we’re cool.