We believe we’ve mentioned before in this space that should the Devils organization ever completely lose its mind and start giving media credentials to bloggers, we wouldn’t really be all that interested in taking them up on the offer. Now, we realize the Devils are never actually going to start presenting this opportunity to bloggers (it would require a remarkable sequence of events that entails the organization proving to be computer literate, proving to understand this crazy new interwebs technology all the kids are using these days, and proving to care what the fans think of them), but we still get a bit nervous when we consider the possibility that we could someday be in a situation where we’d have to ask questions to Devils players. Really, the best we would normally be able to think of to say to a Devil after a win would be, “How awesome was that?”, and after a loss we’d probably ask something like, “How do you look at yourself in the mirror every day? And do you hate us? Is that why you suck so bad? Do you want us to be unhappy?” In other words, we don’t think we have a lot to offer the world of traditional sports journalism. Or rather, we didn’t think so, until now. Because we have actually, after much deliberation and serious thought, discovered a matter about which we genuinely would like to hear what a certain New Jersey Devil has to say.
That’s right, Gentle Reader — we’ve come up with a question we would really ask if we had some kind of media access to the Devils. And not only have we finally thought of something we want to ask a Devil, but it’s a question that is now consuming us. We simply must find out the answer.
Now, before you start firing off telegrams to Lou Lamoriello demanding that he let bloggers into the press box at the Rock, it should be pointed out that this question further cements the notion that we should not, under any circumstances, ever be given press passes. Because if we were, we would barge into the middle of whatever legitimate media types are trying to get quotes so they can file their legitimate stories with their legitimate media outlets in order to earn legitimate paychecks, and we’d cut everything off to ask Zach Parise the burning question that is keeping us up nights:
“Zach, when you play cribbage with Travis, do you play muggins?”
We know. We just rocked your world. (If, Gentle Reader, you are not familiar with cribbage, muggins is a combative variation on the game. Simply put, the gist of cribbage is that you get points for certain card combinations in each hand, and hands are repeatedly played until one player gets 121 points. In regular cribbage each player tallies the points in their hand, and then the next hand is dealt. In muggins, if Player A doesn’t notice points-earning combinations in his hand [a not uncommon occurrence] and Player B does see them, then Player B gets to take the points Player A missed.) We’re torn on whether we think they do play muggins, since, on the one hand, they’re hypercompetitive freaks, but on the other hand, they’re hockey players, and are consequently probably not very good at counting. Furthermore, we keep hearing from Zach about how much he loves cribbage, but nary a peep about the game from Travis; is Travis just being a good teammate, agreeably playing this dumb game to be nice to his roommate? Does he not care how the cribbage games end up, so Zach contentedly wins all the time, muggins or no? Or are both of them way better at adding things up to 15 than we are, and are thus not as susceptible to maddening losses of points (and the ensuing emotional breakdowns and cries of, “This game sucks!” while flipping the board across the room)? Does Travis’ Waldorf education make this an uneven playing field? Or does Zach use Boxworthy to cheat, demanding that his turtle-of-affairs use a complex system of secret signals to communicate to him when Travis is leaving points on the board? And could we better demonstrate how useless real-life media access would be to us than by having the one real question to which we’d like the answer be about one of Zach Parise’s hobbies, and have it quickly evolve into a question about Boxworthy, to boot?
We know the answer to the last one there, and we hope the Devils do, too. But if, Gentle Reader, you get a chance to talk to Zach, try to remember to ask him about muggins and let us know, okay?
In an addendum, I’d like to mention that I have convinced myself, for no discernible reason, that a current member of the Devils can’t swim. I don’t want to single him out, but now I’d really like to ask all the Devils if they know how to swim. So that’s another question I’d ask if I had media access.
Those are excellent and important questions!
(I don’t know anything about cribbage, but even I want to know that now.)
They are vitally important questions! Actually, the swimming one is potentially vital, because what if I end up someday captaining the Devils on a tourist cruise of the nearby Delaware-Raritan Canal, and we’re short one life vest when the boat starts sinking. I could kill a guy if I didn’t know, in short order, which ones can’t swim. You know?
(I love cribbage but hate muggins, so I feel like I have some personal stake in finding out the answer. I mean, it could determine whether I have more or less respect for Zach as a human being! And I’m not even sure which answer would make me respect him more. I just need to find out and see what happens.)
It should be pointed out that there are no cruises of the Delaware-Raritan canal, and even if there were, I’d never be captaining one. But I think the example illustrates my point well. It would be filling a very important public service for me to ask the Devils which of them can’t swim.
The answer to this question might in fact save the world :p
But I think the example illustrates my point well.
Well, sure.
The only question I can think to ask the Stars would be if Guerin was the prick in real life I always imagined him to be. :D
I know absolutely nothing about cribbage, but apparently it’s popular amongst hockey players, because I’ve heard that a bunch of Stars players play it on the plane.
Thanks, Patty and alix. I knew you two would understand.
I know absolutely nothing about cribbage, but apparently it’s popular amongst hockey players, because I’ve heard that a bunch of Stars players play it on the plane.
And don’t you want to know if they play muggins?
The only question I can think to ask the Stars would be if Guerin was the prick in real life I always imagined him to be. :D
I’m sure I could think of some decent questions, but I’m afraid that I would bust out with something really stupid, or humiliating.
I’m sure I could think of some decent questions, but I’m afraid that I would bust out with something really stupid, or humiliating.
Then ask them if they know how to swim. That’s what I’m going to do.
And don’t you want to know if they play muggins?
Of COURSE I do!!
Then ask them if they know how to swim. That’s what I’m going to do.
I was thinking of maybe asking them if they fear dolphins. Dolphins can be aggressive swimmers.
Also, the score is 3-2 Dallas, and it’s halfway through the first period. WHAT IS GOING ON.
Most of the Canucks play poker on the plane. That sounds so common next to the cribbage playing Devils and Stars :D
Most of the Canucks play poker on the plane. That sounds so common next to the cribbage playing Devils and Stars
I remember reading an interview with a Sharks player about 7 years ago where he was asked what he likes to do on long team flights, and he said he loved cribbage, but the guy on the team with the cribbage board had been traded, so now he couldn’t play. I found that so sad. Then I learned how to play cribbage and discovered how easy it is to buy your own cribbage board and I felt a lot less sorry for him.
And that’s my story.
Go Stars! I really need them to beat the Wild.
Oh, and I also read an interview with Zach where he said the Devils liked to play poker games on their PSPs in the plane. I am really hoping the rest of the Devils play interactive poker games with real cards, and just exclude Zach so he’s stuck playing with his PSP.
Man, it would be so cool if someone asked a player if they could swim. Just out of the blue. Not one of those feature things where they ask who snores or their favorite Christmas present.
Between periods of an exciting game, Gionta comes up to be interviewed. He’s sweating, he has helmet prints all over his head, it’s a tight game…
And the first question is: Hey, do you know how to swim?
Hee! I would have felt sorry for him too, at the time.
Between periods of an exciting game, Gionta comes up to be interviewed. He’s sweating, he has helmet prints all over his head, it’s a tight game…
And the first question is: Hey, do you know how to swim?
Patty, you’re so right. And now I see what value I would bring to real hockey journalism.
That would be SO funny! I may have to go into journalism just to accomplish that scenario.
Man, it would be so cool if someone asked a player if they could swim. Just out of the blue. Not one of those feature things where they ask who snores or their favorite Christmas present.
It won’t be broadcast or anything, but I’ll totally ask them next time I go to practice. “Hi, Mr. Zubov. I was wondering, do you know how to swim?”
Okay, maybe I won’t ask Zubov. I’ll ask Niskanen or Smith, both of whom I’ve said the stupidest things to and they don’t look at me like they want to kill me.
Oh, and asking Gio randomly during an intermission interview whether he swims would be no less random than the shit Stan Fischler asks on FSN and MSG now. So really, the Devils have nothing to lose by hiring me, if only for one game.
Oh, and asking Gio randomly during an intermission interview whether he swims would be no less random than the shit Stan Fischler asks on FSN and MSG now.
My point exactly.
For CapsChick, her Jeffy-poo got a shorthander.
Our PK is so awesome. I think it’s because they have a blog named after it.
“Hi, Mr. Zubov. I was wondering, do you know how to swim?”
The Soviets really seemed to take their swimming and pools very seriously, so I bet he can swim. No need to go straight to the terrifying, intimidating one in this case. (And now I have the most hilarious mental image of Muppet-Baby Zubov in a soviet-era indoor swimming pool.)
Our PK is so awesome. I think it’s because they have a blog named after it.
Well, naturally. (And that’s why the Devils have such awesome interchangeable parts. And why they think it’s so good to have them.)
That’s totally it, Patty. Every night they’re giving you a shout out by having a totally bitching penalty kill.
The Canucks PK has been really good lately too. I think I might actually get more pumped over a good penalty kill than a power play goal.
Our PK is so awesome. I think it’s because they have a blog named after it.
You know it. Thanks, Patty!
The Soviets really seemed to take their swimming and pools very seriously, so I bet he can swim. No need to go straight to the terrifying, intimidating one in this case.
Thank God. I can’t even explain why I’m so terrified of him, but I really kind of am. I’m sure he’s a very nice man, but I get scared easily.
I wasn’t aware of a non-muggins version of cribbage. I think this might say something about my family.
a soviet-era indoor swimming pool
Probably inside an elaborate, gilded, beautiful, but crumbling, ex-palace.
Also, I’m hoping for a goal from Happy Meals. I want him to be the leader in points in rookie defensemen. Tobias Enstrom is #1 right now with 21 points (looks like he won’t be getting another in the Atlanta/Columbus game tonight), Niskanen follows with 14 (15 after his assist in the first period tonight). Come ON, Happy Meals! Make me proud!
I wasn’t aware of a non-muggins version of cribbage. I think this might say something about my family.
Meg, that’s fantastic! Your family is so cutthroat!
I wasn’t aware of a non-muggins version of cribbage. I think this might say something about my family.
Someone teach me how to play cribbage now, please. I want to know.
Our rookie defenceman is +15 :) The little button is like 6th in the league for +/-. He doesn’t have that many points though.
I think I might actually get more pumped over a good penalty kill than a power play goal.
‘S what I’m saying!
Every night they’re giving you a shout out by having a totally bitching penalty kill.
I never thought of that! That’s gotta be why!
And that’s why the Devils have such awesome interchangeable parts.
Exactly! Even the Devils of the West give a shoutout to interchangeable parts occasionally.
The little button is like 6th in the league for +/-. He doesn’t have that many points though.
It’s even more impressive when he doesn’t get his own points.
Someone teach me how to play cribbage now, please. I want to know.
Cat, I’d love to help, but it’s not at all an easy game to explain in a blog’s comment thread. :D I’m sure you can google the rules, though!
Even the Devils of the West give a shoutout to interchangeable parts occasionally.
I feel so loved when they do that!
Razor just interviewed Stuuuu and asked which is more important, PP or PK. Stuuuu stepped around and said they’re both important. Razor said, “It’s Penalty Killing.” (!)
He obviously means the blog, or he’d have said “the penalty kill.”
Meg, that’s fantastic! Your family is so cutthroat!
Just a bit. We play a lot of games. :D
Schnookie, be sure and bring the cribbage board when we meet for the Cotillion. You can give all us Southwesterners lessons.
(I should have paid attention when my granddad tried to teach me dominoes. I could have returned the favor.)
We play a lot of games. :D
I love board games. When I was a kid, our game was Yahtzee. I remember the day my mom and dad told me they weren’t going to help me any more. :D
It was time to for me to sink or swim.
It was time to for me to sink or swim.
Aww, what a coming of age story.
I love Yahtzee, too! I also love Chinese Checkers, but totally suck at it. (I will absolutely bring a cribbage board to the Cotillion, but you better learn dominoes between now and then, Patty, because I will expect to learn it in return. :D)
Aww, what a coming of age story.
It really was! I felt a little teary reading it.
I had never played Yahtzee until Jenlo taught me, probably less than a year ago. RIDICULOUS, right?
Chinese Checkers, however, is my shit. I RULE at Chinese Checkers.
‘It’s even more impressive when he doesn’t get his own points.’
Word. He’s Swedish, and really similar to Matty O. Most of the guys call him Mini Ohlie. It’s pretty cute.
“Aww, what a coming of age story.”
Hee!
Oooooh, I love chinese checkers!
Oops, and speaking of games, I have to go play Pictionary right this instant. Have a nice night all.
Have fun, Meg! (And remember, “It’s dignity, Luanne!”)
I don’t know how to swim, nor play cribbage. I think I’m screwed if a boat sinks or a cribbage game breaks out around here.
Have fun, Meg! Pictionary – the game that Antti Miettinen sucks at. Every time I hear the word “Pictionary”, that’s what I think of. Aww, Mittens.
Bye Meg!
It wasn’t so much of a coming-of-age story as a cutthroat family story. :D
I don’t know how to swim, nor play cribbage. I think I’m screwed if a boat sinks or a cribbage game breaks out around here.
Well, I’m certainly not going to ask you to sit next to me on the lifeboat if something happens to the good ship Lottery Pick, since you’ll be no use rescuing me if the lifeboat capsizes, nor will you be any fun if I remember to bring my travel cribbage board. Sorry, Amy. It’s nothing personal. :D
It wasn’t so much of a coming-of-age story as a cutthroat family story. :D
Further evidence that Meg’s family is ruthless — she sees the telling of the moment where Patty’s parents saw her as fresh Yahtzee meat as a sweet coming-of-age tale.
Bye, Meg! SQUEE! In 24 hours, I’ll be watching Matty O warm up! If he’s been released from his giraffe neck sling that is :p
…fresh Yahtzee meat
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Pictionary – the game that Antti Miettinen sucks at.
How do you know that? Did some blogger get a press pass and ask him?
Well, I’m certainly not going to ask you to sit next to me on the lifeboat if something happens to the good ship Lottery Pick, since you’ll be no use rescuing me if the lifeboat capsizes, nor will you be any fun if I remember to bring my travel cribbage board. Sorry, Amy. It’s nothing personal
No offense taken. :)
I don’t know how to swim
Awww, but it’s easy!
I also wasn’t aware there was a non-muggins version of cribbage.
fresh Yahtzee meat
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How do you know that? Did some blogger get a press pass and ask him?
Click on the link. It’s a picture Mittens drew us. I bet he sucks at Pictionary.
OH! That’s right. (I didn’t notice the link, but I remember the picture.)
Hey, if the word was birds or clouds or sky, I’d have gotten it. He’s not that bad!
I’ll save you guys! :( by the looks of the ridiculous Leafs play tonight (and it wasn’t even Raycroft’s fault!) I’ll be on the Lottery Pick
but i also don’t have the slightest inkling how to play cribbage… board games anyone =D?
I would so partner with Mittens for pictionary.
I’m going to see a movie with the familia. Have a great night y’all!
Awww, Vinny! That sucks. I’m sure they’ll turn it around.
Poor Vinny. Beat by Comrie in the last second.
Bye, Alix!
Sorry, Vinny!
Maybe you can reverse-jinx them, by learning to play cribbage for the cruise on the Lottery Pick. Then not need it because they pulled it out.
Man, I love hockey.
I thought all hockey players played Euchre. Card game of choice of 19th New Yorkers and modern day Canadian prairie boys.
Man, I love hockey.
Dude, for real.
Have fun, Meg! Pictionary – the game that Antti Miettinen sucks at. Every time I hear the word “Pictionary”, that’s what I think of. Aww, Mittens.
Mittens picture would have been fine art compared to mine. Fortunately my sister is the world’s best guesser (seriously she once got “black hole” in about 1 seconds flat) so we totally murdered our parents. I return victorious.
I don’t know any of these games :0 “Games: A Crash Course 101″ anyone?
Beat by Comrie in the last second.
That little bitch. Even Duthie made a joke about your girlfriend… (although to be fair, it was mostly Blake’s fault we lost.)
Razor keeps making fun of Brenden Morrow for flatironing his hair in the new Stars calendar. Aww, Brenden.
Card game of choice of 19th New Yorkers and modern day Canadian prairie boys.
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Caitlin’s mom is gonna LOVE that game!
For real, it was a good game for Caitlin’s non-hockey-loving family to go to.
I’m watching the Wild post-game show. They’re on a rink and re-enacting the goals. How cool!
Plus, they’re really pumping up the Stars.
Razor just interviewed Stuuuu and asked which is more important, PP or PK. Stuuuu stepped around and said they’re both important. Razor said, “It’s Penalty Killing.” (!)
First of all, that’s definitely a shout-out!
Second of all, pshaw! It’s soooo PK. WAY more important :-D
For real, it was a good game for Caitlin’s non-hockey-loving family to go to.
That’s great! Hopefully that means they dropped the “non” somewhere along the way. :D
Pensboy has been playing the Pens DVDs since we got home from Grandma’s last night, and it’s been funny catching punctuations from the family room of Mike Lange calling “Heeeeeeeeeeee shoots and scores” for Mario and Jagr. Meeeeeeeemmm-rrriiiiiiiiieeees, in the corner of my mind…..
Second of all, pshaw! It’s soooo PK. WAY more important :-D
We love D, don’t we, Heather? :D
“When I was a kid, our game was Yahtzee.”
Yahtzee was a sick, sick game. Putting dice in a little barrel and then tossing them. No wonder I’m hooked on craps when I hit AC.
Perhaps the best game that involved dice that didn’t have a Pop-o-matic bubble or the chance to fight a dragon in a dungeon.
Oh my gosh, I love Trouble!
We love D, don’t we, Heather? :D
Patty, what can I say? We’re special.
I never knew how to play Yahtzee until my current job. My students taught me how to play.
Even Duthie made a joke about your girlfriend
Duthie’s awesome! He also wrote in his blog that his son is in love with Hilary Duff and something about how his son his a picture of Comrie he uses for darts practice, or something like that. Have you seen the clip where he sings to Anna Kournikova? It was sort of cringe-inducingly awful.
A long the same lines, the SportsCentre highlights showed Lindsay Lohan at the Rangers game tonight and Holly Horton was like “Oh no, who is she dating now?”
Caitlin’s mom is gonna LOVE that game!
Mom DID love it, incidentally! We just got home after eating and such.
She said it was very entertaining and we had to explain penalty killing and power plays to her, but she recognized Mittens, who she calls Anti-Mittens and of course, Modano.
Every time they scored, she was shocked – especially in the third. She was like, “Caitie, honey, is it normal for them to score this much?”
We also had to explain the concept of fans not booing, but Stuuuuuing as well as Zubov’s fear of cameras. The jumbotron camera operators zoomed in on him, and Russian looked up and scooted away quickly, only to have them follow him. One dirty look was all it took for the cameras to cut off him, and my mom was like, “Why is that man moving so fast and looking so angry?”
The only thing we couldn’t get her to do was stand up for goals. We were up in the cheap seats and she was terrified she was going to fall. She finally stood up for the last one; she was like, “THEY GOT ANOTHER ONE! YAY!” By the end she was clapping and all happy. (Yeah, it only took the EIGHTH goal for my mother to be not afraid of falling. Hee.)
The one thing my mom really wanted to see was Finnish or Gibberish on the Jumbotron since we had told her about it. I warned her in advance that they probably wouldn’t play it since they hadn’t in like, two or three months. What pops up on the Jumbotron?
Finnish or Gibberish with Jussi Jokinen! (It was gibberish, for those of you who care.)
The entire thing was like a belated Festivus miracle!
And I know this is from wayyyyy far back, but :
And now I have the most hilarious mental image of Muppet-Baby Zubov in a soviet-era indoor swimming pool.
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Wheee! 8 goals?!?! What the heck happened? Hee. And thanks for humiliating the Wild! Got to keep them below us in the points.
I have work early so I don’t have time to thoughtfully read every comment heretofar and pretend to understand the course of conversation. So instead I’ll thoughtlessly blurt out my opinion on this post and the first comment/addendum:
They definately play muggins. I don’t know why I KNOW this in my heart, but I KNOW they play muggins. They HAVE to. Maybe Travis doesn’t really want to, but Zach always insists on it. I imagine that they also probably play the game of Life, wherein Zach always manages to skip college but work as a $100,000-a-year police officer (because you get to take money from anyone spinning a 10, because that player is speeding) and has three carloads of kids by retirement. And he swears it’s always coincidence but Travis knows better, and won’t call him on it.
As for the swimming question, I’d bet dollars to donuts that it’s John(ny) Oduya who can’t swim. I think that he probably sits in the back row of the team bus and as far away from the door as possible because of this, so he can see all the other players when the team is crossing bridges. Because John(ny) knows everyone else would like to have the bus door “accidently” open at the top of the bridge and whoops, there goes poor John(ny)! And he can’t even swim! It looks like the Devils will have to aquire another defensemen with a funny name! Oh the horrors!
Yep, that’s how it all happened.
Wheee! 8 goals?!?! What the heck happened? Hee. And thanks for humiliating the Wild! Got to keep them below us in the points.
I don’t know, alix, but it was seventy kinds of awesome. It was back to back scoring in the first; we’d score one, then they would. Halfway through the second is when things really started to kick in.
They scored really quickly in the third, and then the faceoff right after the goal, Modano just chipped one right on in. It was crazy. I was sitting there thinking, “….What the heck is going on?”
In fact, I think I texted Cat something like, “OMG WTF.”
Hee! That’s awesome. What a fun game to be at.
Nice. I just found out my seats for the game tomorrow are a lot nicer than I thought. Woohoo.
WOOOOOO! I had an awesome Christmas! My sister and I got (totally fucking fantastic) tickets to the Ice Bowl, and I won a hundred bucks from my stocking stuffer scratch lottery tickets. Not a bad day!
I’m up north with my extended family till the end of the week, so I won’t be around much, but have a great post-Christmas and New Year, everyone! alix, have fun with your boys tomorrow!
And hey! I’m not spam anymore! Merry Christmas to you too, Senor!
Nice. I just found out my seats for the game tomorrow are a lot nicer than I thought. Woohoo.
Yay, alix! That’s always a good surprise to get.
Good morning, everyone!
First of all, I’m not sure you’ll see this, Josh, but your comment absolutely made my morning! In fact, it retroactively made my day yesterday, too! So freakin’ funny!
Secondly, I love Yahtzee! I haven’t played in forever. I can see how it could be a gateway drug to craps. Trouble, not so much. ;) Another great game with special dice-rolling cups is Parchesi; Boomer is cut-throat when it comes to Parchesi so we had to stop playing.
Thirdly, euchre seems even more old-ladyish than cribbage! Have I told the story about when I tried to learn how to play pinochle? The rules were so complex, and the folks I was playing with and I were all so confused by them that when one of the guys stopped in the middle of a hand to declare, “Hey, I get it! You want to win… so that everyone else loses!” we were all like, “Wait a minute… yes! You’re right! [Long Pause] Heeeyyy…..” It… did not go well.
I have to pile on here to agree with Pookie, Josh (if you’re reading this), that your comment delighted me. I now see Zach trucking around an entire, full-sized Life game on the road; he’d even have a custom carrying case made for it so none of the pieces get lost in his luggage. And when he cracks it open in the hotel room, Travis just rolls his eyes and is all, “Could we play cribbage instead?”
Zach also can’t wait to have his special Life car custom made to match his fancy new automatic transmission sports car.
Oh, and Travis’s least favorite sound in the world is the sound of the clicky spinner wheel.
Zach: I say, Travis, how about a little bout of “Life”, old chappie!
Sound of clicky spinner wheel.
Travis: [High pitched screech] AH!
Travis runs from room.
Zach also can’t wait to have his special Life car custom made to match his fancy new automatic transmission sports car.
Oh, he already had a fleet of little solid-gold Life cars made up to match his new real-life car. They get their own special travel case, with multiple locks on it. No one but Zach has access to those Life cars, and when Travis is feeling especially annoyed with Zach during games of Life, he’ll snatch one up off the board and threaten to throw it out the hotel room window. That always makes Zach break down sobbing, promising Travis whatever he wants in the world. Of course, as soon as Travis gives him the car back, Zach reneges on the promises he just made, and the cycle starts anew. It’s terrible.
And yes, the sound of the Life spinner wheel haunts Travis’ nightmares.
Zach is a monster. But these are such important questions! Who to ask?! [this totally cracked me up by the way. :D ]
Guys, I’ve been going through a withdrawal: no Devils hockey for four days. But this totally cheered me up.
Zach is a monster! :D
I’m glad we could cheer you up, Bethanie. I’d say I’ve been adrift in a sea of ennui without Devils hockey for all these days, but I’m actually still exhausted from the holiday, so I’m kind of glad to have a wee bit of a break here. Last night we just sat there, braindead, after Pookie got home from the graveyard shift at the library. We’d tivoed the Sabres game, but decided it required too much intellectual power to watch it, and instead we just fired up the Wii and played some Super Mario Galaxy instead. That’s right — Christmas was so draining this year that I couldn’t even handle hockey the day after it all ended.
…no Devils hockey for four days.
So they are planning to play again?
You missed a good Stars game, Schnookie.
(And the sound of the Life game spinner wheel haunts my dreams, too.)
So they are planning to play again?
I think their theory is that they’re in first place in the division right now, so they’d best quit while they’re ahead. :D
(As for the Stars game, I know, I know. Wednesdays are hard because Pookie doesn’t get home until 10. We either have to watch the west-coast games live, or anticipate the best EC game and tivo it ahead of time. So… no awesome Stars game for us.)
My sister and I got (totally fucking fantastic) tickets to the Ice Bowl, and I won a hundred bucks from my stocking stuffer scratch lottery tickets. Not a bad day!
What a present! And what luck – you out-scratched me by $98 (not that I mind – $2 is a huge jackpot to me since I usually get nothing). I hope you have loads of fun at the ice bowl (despite a valiant but losing effort by the Sabres, of course!).
Yeah, there was no way to predict that we’d hang eight goals on the Wild. I would have projected it to be pretty dull.
Wow, Schnookie. Seems like your holiday was fun though. I don’t have a Wii. I have an xbox 360 instead. So I hung out with my itty-bitty cousins and siblings and played DDR and Guitar Hero 3 (which totally rocks).
I have no work for the next week and a half, so all I do is sit at home. Hence why I need hockey. I’m an addict.
Yeah, that Stars game reminded me the 8-1 Isles loss at Toronto. It was insane.
Yeah, there was no way to predict that we’d hang eight goals on the Wild. I would have projected it to be pretty dull.
Same here. I was hoping that the Stars would look okay, so that it wouldn’t disappoint the people we went with, since they are not into hockey.
One of the keys to a happy marriage is to play cribbage without muggins with your spouse. Trust me.
Asking questions of Devils reminded me of this story:
My wife knows a gentleman who lives in Jersey, is a big Devils fan, and his sons play youth hockey. During one of his son’s games, he keeps looking at one of the fathers of another kid on the team. He finally asks the second guy, “Do I know you?” The other father replies, “Well, my name is Jamie, and I play for the Devils.”
Morgan, I think that marriage advice is very sound! If Zach wants to keep his roommate “marriage” with Travis on good footing, he should heed it. :D
(I would add that the same advice can be given for anyone who wants to remain friends with me — I am a very mellow cribbage player, but I get insanely Type A when muggins is introduced.)
That’s too funny about Liz’s acquaintance and Langer! (Can she have him ask Langer next time he sees him which Devils can or can’t swim?)
There is no way the Patty can swim. No way.
I meant, no way THAT Patty can swim. Although, I’m not adverse to calling Patrick Elias “The Patty”.
Although, I’m not adverse to calling Patrick Elias “The Patty”.
I was gonna say… I like it.
He finally asks the second guy, “Do I know you?” The other father replies, “Well, my name is Jamie, and I play for the Devils.”
Man, it doesn’t seem like that long ago. He had to leave his 9-months-pregnant wife in Dallas when he was traded to NJ. I don’t think he had another kid already, did he?
(I defended Army when he was fired, but stuff like this keeps coming up and I wanna smack him.)
Plus, a grown man, with kids, named “Jamie” is just endlessly adorable to me.
Oh, The Patty loves to swim. He feels it gets him closer to the oysters. (Plus, Pookie once did some research on Petr Sykora’s hometown, and it turns out they have a “Water Goblin” festival every year in which the local children do something water goblin-y. Seriously, there is no way The Patty wouldn’t have figured out how to swim when he met Sykkie, just so Sykkie wouldn’t have the water goblin upper hand.)
Why do I have such a clear image of The Patty standing nervously next to a hotel swimming pool wearing those inflatable arm buoys? Hmm. Perhaps he need to transform into a Water Goblin before he can swim, which of course he wouldn’t be able to do poolside. He needs privacy to make the switch.
You’re definitely right, Katebits. The Patty can only swim when he’s in the right Water Goblin state of mind. And that’s not something a guy can just flip on like a switch.
(And really, the more you think about, the more you can see these guys being nervous about going in the water, can’t you? Since getting this notion that a certain Devil can’t swim, I’m convincing myself that fewer and fewer of them can. They’re going to be able to form a support group at this rate, where they can get together and talk about the anxiety caused by their hotel swimming pools.)
But I bet Zach is a really good swimmer, and he refuses to politely acknowledge that the rest of them can’t swim, so he’s constantly suggesting they all head down to the hotel pool. Boxworthy, is of course, and excellent swimmer. He loves paddling out to give Zach his telegrams (all from Jordie and Staffy pretending to invite him to various balls and banquets).
Yeah, Zach is always jumping up during team meetings to say, “I say, chappies! Let’s have a pool party this afternoon!” And he totally swims in a black-and-white striped woolen swimsuit, the type with knee-length shorts and overall-y bib. He prefers to complete the look with a luxurious black handlebar moustache, but he keeps forgetting that the fake-moustache glue is water soluble, so it falls off as soon as he leaps into the pool for a bracing swim.
No, even better — Zach can’t swim, but thinks he can. So he makes a big show of putting on the suit and moustache and then flailing around in the kiddie pool or in the shallow end, spluttering and spitting and trying to flex his muscles for whatever ladies might be in the vicinity. And, of course, getting “invitations” to lots of “balls” and “banquets” delivered by his turtle-of-affairs on a silver salver.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::
You should see Boxworthy when he wears his Zach-required woolen swimsuit and tiny handlebar mustache. Hilarious.
NOOOOOO! Matty O is still out with his strained neck :( BOO! No hot giraffe close ups.
:^:::::::::::::::: too funny!
You should see Boxworthy when he wears his Zach-required woolen swimsuit and tiny handlebar mustache.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
He always drags his little fake moustache in the frozen margaritas Zach demands poolside. Zach hates having to pick fake moustache hairs out of his drinks, but more than that, he can’t stand Boxworthy not being appropriately outfitted for poolside service.
alix, I’m so sorry you won’t be seeing Matty O! He probably strained his neck just thinking about being so near to you, and how close his dreams of you, the backseat of a cab, and a fetching third party were to coming true.
Thanks, Schnookie. Hee! That must be what happened. Oh well, it will still be fun. I like the other guys too.
NOOOOOO! Matty O is still out with his strained neck :( BOO! No hot giraffe close ups.
Noooo! Not for your live game, alix!
That’s terrible. I’m sorry! But I still hope you enjoy the game!
He always drags his little fake moustache in the frozen margaritas Zach demands poolside.
That whole scenario is just hilarious!
Sorry about Matty O, alix!
It’ll still be a great game, I’m sure!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: @ Zach’s swimscepades.
Why do I have such a clear image of The Patty standing nervously next to a hotel swimming pool wearing those inflatable arm buoys?
If arm buoys aren’t available, then I can see him wearing one of those inflatable animal floaties that go around the waist.
Hey Ookies, there’s going to be no Staffy Stomping in tomorrow night’s Sabres / Devils game. The poor dear has a concussion from two bad hits in the Flyers game and one last night.
Amy, I was so saddened to hear that Staffy’s cement head has somehow defied physics and become concussed! The epic Shattuck Showdown we were all hoping for will just have to wait, and Zach’s going to have to figure out how to cope with the knowledge that no one in the Sabres’ active lineup tomorrow lists him as his favorite athlete.
If arm buoys aren’t available, then I can see him wearing one of those inflatable animal floaties that go around the waist.
Haha! And a little nose-pincher thing on a rubber cord, hanging around his neck?
The poor dear has a concussion from two bad hits in the Flyers game and one last night.
Somebody needs to do something about the Flyers.
Poor Zach. So unloved.
If arm buoys aren’t available, then I can see him wearing one of those inflatable animal floaties that go around the waist.
Haha! And a little nose-pincher thing on a rubber cord, hanging around his neck?
And goggles and a snorkel?
Somebody needs to do something about the Flyers.
Like…fine them? Ban them from playing? Shoot Danny Briere into the sun?
A girl can dream, can’t she?
Somebody needs to do something about the Flyers.
I’d love to be that somebody, but I get the distinct impression I might not be in a position to do something.
Flutter says we should spray paint them pink.
Zach’s going to have to figure out how to cope with the knowledge that no one in the Sabres’ active lineup tomorrow lists him as his favorite athlete.
Little do we know that Boxworthy’s been dispatched to the Sabres locker room with a fistful of $20′s, with explicit orders that he is not to come back until someone on the Sabres is willing to list Zach as a favorite athlete in a post-game interview.
And goggles and a snorkel?
Don’t forget the flippers!
Boxworthy’s been dispatched to the Sabres locker room with a fistful of $20’s
So that’s where all my $20′s went. Guess I better go apologize to my sister.
First of all, I’m not sure you’ll see this, Josh, but your comment absolutely made my morning! In fact, it retroactively made my day yesterday, too! So freakin’ funny!
I have to pile on here to agree with Pookie, Josh (if you’re reading this), that your comment delighted me. I now see Zach trucking around an entire, full-sized Life game on the road; he’d even have a custom carrying case made for it so none of the pieces get lost in his luggage. And when he cracks it open in the hotel room, Travis just rolls his eyes and is all, “Could we play cribbage instead?”
Awww, glad to delight and amuse!
I really do read most comments (especially in threads where I’ve already commented, coz I’m vain like that)…just usually am too lazy to add anything. I’ll work on that in the New Year, I promise.
I’ll work on that in the New Year, I promise.
See that you do. :D
See that you do. :D
If not for the smiley face I would have taken that as a threat. Even still I’m not entirely sure…
meep.
I just bought a laptop :-)
Josh, it’s great to know you’re threatening to hang around here more often! :D
And Heather, congrats on the new laptop! How pommerdoodly exciting!
I really do read most comments (especially in threads where I’ve already commented, coz I’m vain like that)
Oh, and I should add that I’m exactly the same way. I get so cranky and offended when I comment on blogs and they ignore me! :D
Josh, it’s great to know you’re threatening to hang around here more often!
Seconded!
I just bought a laptop
Yay! Congratulations! As my high school principal used to say constantly, “The Chinese character for crisis also means opportunity”.
I just bought a laptop :-)
Hooray! Hooray!!
I get so cranky and offended when I comment on blogs and they ignore me!
A while back Pookie mentioned that someone told her to always reply to people’s comments on your own blog.
I try to do that now, but I worry that people are all, Dude… can someone else have the last word once in a while? But I don’t want anybody to think I’m ignoring them!
I’m going to stick to it, though. If Pookie and Schnookie hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be where I am today: Hanging around IPB 24/7. :D
If not for the smiley face I would have taken that as a threat.
That’s why I added the smiley face. So you’d be fooled…er, reassured. :D :D :D :D
Congrats Heather!
I bought my girlfriend a laptop for Christmas because she kept stealing mine. Of course it’s the first Vista machine in the house and I can’t get it connected to the home network for file & print sharing purposes so it turned out to be a double edged sword. I did anticipate this problem though so I also bought her a flash drive so she could save what she wanted to print to it and print from the desktop computer.
I forgot to mention in the last thread that Santa gave me a Predators shot glass. Now I can celebrate Predator goals and wins properly (and as I type that, the Blue Jackets score to tie the game up).
The best part about the “always reply to comments” thing is that Pookie totally misunderstood what the advice really was. She was taking courses on how to run, like, official library blogs, and the advice was to make sure to respond when people are commenting about serious library business. But she took it to mean “respond within 24 hours to every single comment on any blog”. I so know how you feel, Patty, being concerned about people thinking you’re never letting anyone have the last word, because I worried the same thing when we first started getting comments here, but in the end I think this approach is well worth it! I mean, look at what we’ve wrought from it! We’re all here 24/7 now! :D (Our plan has come to fruition — mwa ha ha ha ha!!!!)
When I chase a threat with a smiley, I hope you all read it as me baring my teeth in a menacing grimace. Sadly, though, the interwebs really strip all rictus emoticons of tone, don’t they?
How about this one? >:D
Does that look like “mwa! hahahaha!”?
Not really.
I love the >:D emoticon, Patty! So terrifying! :P
How about this for teeth baring? :E
Look at that guy! You wouldn’t want to run into him in a dark alley. No siree. :E
Katebits, that’s like the emoticon for a bucktoothed vampire! I love it! >:E
Oh, and Frisby, I meant to say ages ago that I’m so glad to hear you’re toasting the Predators in style! Do you have a Devils shot glass, too?
>:C
That’s a really, really stern frown. There’s no turning that puppy upside down.
I’m so using :E every time someone says something nasty about my boys, like that Zach fake-swims in an olde tymey swimsuit.
I’m so using :E every time someone says something nasty about my boys, like that Zach fake-swims in an olde tymey swimsuit.
So would you use it if I pointed out now that Zach, his olde-tymey swimsuit and his fake moustache like to go to the beach, where Zach lies on his stomach on the sand right where the waves just barely reach, and he kicks his feet and flails his arms and says really loudly, “I say! What a wonderful, bracing swim this is! It’s ever so good for my constitution! I say!”?
Katebits, that’s like the emoticon for a bucktoothed vampire!
I totally does! >:E The eyebrows make him a lot more menacing.
Zach has a whole collection of old tymey bathing suits which he uses to fake-swim right at the edge of the water. I’m sorry, Pookie, but it’s true.
:EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Of course I have a Devils shot glass, what kind of alcoholic Devils fan do you take me for? :{P
(look, a mustached emoticon)
Frisby, that’s an emoticon wearing an “I’m going to go swimming with Zach” fake handlebar mustachio! I love it!
And yes, Zach has an entire walk-in closet of olde-tymey woolen swimsuits. He goes through them quickly, wearing out the wool in the stomachs and bib fronts from where he fake-swims.
Wow, if you think I complain about officiating, you should have heard the BJ announcers (unfortunately, all I was getting was the Columbus feed). They were trying to say Tootoo hit somebody late. They were like,” look, 1-2-3-4 after the puck left his stick!”. I’m like, dude, you d realize the replay is in slow motion right? For the rest of the game every time a Blue Jacket would fall down they would follow it up saying, “…and no call!”.
I’m like, dude, you d realize the replay is in slow motion right?
:^{::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
What’s the laughter for? Because I don’t know how to spell do?
They were trying to say Tootoo hit somebody late. They were like,” look, 1-2-3-4 after the puck left his stick!”. I’m like, dude, you d realize the replay is in slow motion right? For the rest of the game every time a Blue Jacket would fall down they would follow it up saying, “…and no call!”.
I HATE THAT SO MUCH! (And seriously, the counting how long it was after a hit, but only on the slo-mo replay, is my least favorite thing ever. [Okay, that's some hyperbole there, but it's pretty high on the list.])
Yeah, Frisby, that’s totally it. Because I never, ever make a typo! :)
And seriously, the counting how long it was after a hit, but only on the slo-mo replay, is my least favorite thing ever.
And it is not uncommon!
I also hate the guy that accuses a player of embellishing when they show the slo-mo of a stick coming within millimeters of his nose and he flinches!
“That didn’t even touch him!” That’s because he flinched!
I don’t have any trouble believing Tootoo made a late hit, but if you only get to four in slo-mo, I’ll give even Tootoo the benefit there.
Love the mustached guy, MrFrisby!
“That didn’t even touch him!” That’s because he flinched!
Seriously! When we’re given jurisdiction over all broadcasts, we’ll put a stop to that whining.
I know Pookie, you don’t have to rub it in. ;)
Btw, Preds won 4-3, Wooooo! G’night, see you tomorrow for the Devils/Sabres game.
Good night, Mr. Frisby! See you tomorrow, Devils shot glass in hand (metaphorically for me, since I don’t have one).
See you tomorrow, Devils shot glass in hand (metaphorically for me, since I don’t have one).
Subtle!
Stupid Doug Weight. I want the Oilers to win!
I don’t have any trouble believing Tootoo made a late hit, but if you only get to four in slo-mo, I’ll give even Tootoo the benefit there.
I will always loathe him for that hit on Robidas.
ALWAYS.
‘Night Frisby!
And sorry, Patty. I was not pleased by the Doug Weight goal either, but that’s just because the only Duck I want to see scoring is Getzi. Well, Kunitz is a Marauder, too, but I don’t care about his points the way I do Getzi’s.
Also? I loathe the Red Wings.
We haven’t played them once yet. I don’t look forward to it.
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