So why couldn’t the schedule makers have anticipated that the Devils would be having trouble scoring these days and given them a game tonight against someone like the Flyers? They have no problem putting up four or five goals against them. But no, tonight we get the Islanders, whom the Devils have yet to beat this year. We keep getting this stupid Metro Ice Challenge update during the pregame that reminds us that the Islanders are winning the head-to-head, three-team matchup between them, the Devils and the Rangers. Interestingly, the Rangers are second and the Devils are in “last place”. Considering that’s the exact opposite of how the teams are standing in the division rankings, maybe we shouldn’t be putting too much weight on this Metro Ice Challenge after all.
In disheartening news for those of us hoping the Devils might score tonight, it is reported that Patty is out with a “tweaked groin”; as soon as we hear that, we both assume that means he’s being traded.
FIRST PERIOD
19:45 Doc announces at the outset that this is Zach’s 200th game. Sheesh! As Boomer says, “It’s been a fast 200 games,” Pookie adds, “He’s one third of his way to his own hotel room! Travis is like, ‘That day can’t come soon enough.’”
17:37 Pelley tries one of his signature shots, but it seems Dubie (yes, we’re going to be on a nickname basis with him for the sake of brevity) has read the book on Pelley, and is not going to give up a craptacular, bad-angle goal.
16:49 As the fans chant “Duuuuuuuube” when he makes an easy save on Rupp, Pookie declares, “You know what my least favorite thing in the new NHL is, after the shootout? It’s when fanbases chant the name of a goalie whose name rhymes with ‘Boo’.”
16:36 There is a prolonged sequence of confusion when everyone on the ice except for Dubie thinks the Devils are getting called for a penalty, but it turns out to be on Hilbert for diving.
16:18 Paulie rips a shot from the point that hobbles Brendan Witt, and after a whistle, Witt circles a bit, then leaves the ice. Pookie: “Wow! Paulie hurt Witt, in three places it seems. He’s favoring his foot, his hand, and his nuts!” Boomer: “Maybe he can’t tell the difference between the three?”
15:32 Chico tells us the Devils haven’t scored in the first period in seven straight games. Great.
14:57 The Devils sure look like their standard “game on the Island as the second half of a two-games-in-two-nights stretch” when they decide to respond to Chico’s joking that they’d better play good D if they’re not going to score in the first by spending their PP with their heads up their asses. They get a million chances to clear their own zone against a moderate forecheck, then give up a goal to Campoli on the third shorthanded shot in succession. 1-0 Islanders. Pookie sighs, “Whoever we’re getting in exchange for Patty better be good.”
13:36 The Devils defensive gameplan tonight seems to be turning the puck over in prime scoring position in their own zone. It’s awesome to behold.
13:27 Satan trips Gio weakly in the neutral zone, and we are so thrilled to get to see the Devils go back on the power play.
12:00 The Devils regroup lamely, and as Doc mentions again that it was Satan who took the penalty we decide to note for the record that there seems to have been an uptick lately in people in the blogosphere who think it’s hilariously funny to say that Miro should play for the Devils. Because get it? Satan? Devils? Get it? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sigh.
10:30 We are left in a state of immeasurable delight in the aftermath of a Mottau-Comrie fight. The whole thing starts when Comrie knocks Mottau over while he’s trying to play an incoming, airborne puck, then the two exchange words after a whistle, and then they drop the gloves when play resumes. The fight itself is one of those appealing, these-guys-don’t-do-this-very-often bouts, but what’s so great about it is that afterwards we are given a view of Rupp and Clarkson on the bench, where they are both giggling and smirking deliciously. Then we get a look at Sutter, and he is, no joke, trying to bury his head in his collar while failing to hide that he, too, is giggling. That’s how funny a Mottau-Comrie fight is: it can make Brent Sutter giggle even while his team is sucking like they are tonight.
9:33 Bergeron takes a dumb-assed slashing penalty on Clarkson. Boomer: “Obviously the Islanders don’t have any fear of putting us on the power play.” Pookie: “Well, they shouldn’t.” Boomer: “Maybe they’re doing it on purpose, to laugh at us?”
7:33 That was… not good.
7:10 Oduya does Brian Campbell’s signature move one dumber by trying a spinarama out of his own corner along the boards, but instead just flings the puck blindly into a broken stick that has been discarded there. He was probably just trying to demonstrate why it’s so important for players to always pick their dropped sticks up immediately.
4:42 Marty has to come up big after the Islanders realize they are not, in fact, killing a penalty at the moment.
3:04 What had been a feisty period is no longer. This is now reminding us of the old “paint cans playing chess” days.
1:07 Doc praises the physical play in this game so far by commenting that no single player has avoided contact yet tonight, but we mishear and think he’s saying that there is just one player who’s avoiding contact. Schnookie: “It’s Zach. He can totally say it.”
0:38 Chico says that, despite the crappiness of the last five minutes, this has been a great period because “both teams came out hungry”. Schnookie, exasperated: “Both teams did not come out hungry! If the Devils had come out hungry they wouldn’t have given up that shortie!” Pookie: “They came out hungry for a loss.”
0:00 The buzzer sounds, and we get up to scrounge in the pantry for a potent beverage or two.
We get an interview with Pelley, and his pallor is so alarming, and his stiffness in front of the camera so comical, that we can’t help but think he’s become a brain-eating zombie now just like Staffy. He says of Mottau’s fight that it was “good for Mike.” Thanks, Rod.
FIRST INTERMISSION
Because this is one of those special nights when we get Al and Stan in the studio talking about the Rangers during our intermissions, we get to check in on Sean Avery and Marc Staal, two of the greatest men to ever breathe. Meanwhile, Stan tells us the answer to the Devils scoring woes is named Mike Rupp. Wait, there’s another hockey-playing Mike Rupp out there somewhere?
SECOND PERIOD
18:55 The Devils hold and hold and hold and hold while trying to set up a breakout, and end up settling for a desperation Hail Mary pass from behind the goal line to Brylin up on the Islanders blue line. Sarge doesn’t quite handle it cleanly, and then Clarkson hits Sutton with the puck only mostly in the vicinity (in the eyes of the officials), so the Islanders go on the PP.
16:55 The Islanders seem to be taking power play lessons from the Devils.
16:22 Say, have the Devils scored any first-period goals in the last eight games? How about first- or second-period goals in the last four games? Because it’s been at least three minutes since anyone’s said anything about that on this broadcast.
14:59 PaulieMartinNation is not pleased to see Marty setting Paulie up for failure, turning the puck over in his feet behind the net. The halls of stately IPB Manor echo with cries of “That was not Paulie’s fault!” on the sequence.
14:01 Marty is unimpressed with a Comeau semi-break.
13:50 We go to commercial with the a Devil going back into the penalty box and Pookie declaring, “This game is making me want to cry.” (The penalty is on Rupp for boarding. We’d add another minor for him not being the offensive panacea Stan keeps promising he’ll be.)
12:52 Chico tells us the Islanders have given up boatloads of shorties this year, and explains that’s why the Devils have been so “aggressive” on the PK tonight. Considering the Devils spent the entirety of the previous Islanders power lay in their own zone, this prompts Schnookie to blurt, “Chico, are you and I even watching the same game?” Pookie says sagely, “I often feel Chico and I are watching different games.”
11:36 There is a bit of a scrum to the side of the net after Marty freezes a good shot, and replay shows this all started when Guerin was flattened by Langer, but decided to go after Rupp instead after getting back to his feet. Sillinger (or someone like that) and Rupp end up getting roughing minors.
10:45 A Vishnevski-led two-on-one doesn’t even yield a shot.
9:19 The Devils put together a few shifts of swirling offense, leaving us confused and with a vague sense of unease. Who are these guys?
9:01 Butthead and Clarkson fight. It’s reasonably unremarkable, except that Clarkson seems to get a good shot in at Butthead’s nuts when he flings him to the ice.
8:54 Sutton and Rupp fight immediately off the faceoff. Whatever, guys. Whatever.
8:25 Marty gets jostled when he freezes a puck, and Asham gets sent to the box for, we guess, looking overly aggressive when standing toe-to-toe with the offending Islander.
7:58 Unsurprisingly, the Islanders score on the power play when Bergeron’s attempted goal-mouth feed deflects in off Greener. It’s 2-0 Islanders, and we eagerly await the even-up calls for the rest of this game. HAHAHAHAHA! Seriously, though, we eagerly await this game being over.
6:29 Dubie makes a save on a slowly set up passing sequence between Asham and Zubrus, and the fans go up like he just stopped the greatest shot in the history of hockey. Chico remarks that Dubie is “the underdog” and that the fans on the Island are just appreciative of “what he’s trying to do here.” How is it possible for him to still be the underdog when he was successful in that role last year? Isn’t there a point where the guy starring in the unlikely success story just becomes known for being a success story? How is Dubie any more of an underdog now than any other capable backup NHL goaltender?
4:59 As the Devils engage in a listless bit of offensive zone “pressure”, Doc informs us Langer has been shaken up off the play and is “slow to get up”. Pookie declares that she is now convinced someone key is going to get grievously injured tonight. (Replay shows Langer was trying to catch an Islander with a flying elbow and somehow got hurt when he missed his target.)
3:05 As Doc and Chico discuss how the Devils haven’t really even been putting any good chances on net, Schnookie grumbles, “Yeah, I feel like I could be defending the Devils tonight.” Pookie: “I feel like I could defend them just with my mind. And I don’t even have telekinesis.”
1:35 The cockles of our hearts are slightly warmed by the Islanders fans lustily singing “If You Know The Rangers Suck”.
0:56 Marty makes a save and ends up having to take off his glove to reach inside his leg pad to extricate the puck, which has become deeply embedded there. We giggle faintly.
0:24 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Zach suddenly remembers that he’s supposed to be committing his career to making the Islanders pay for passing him over in the draft. He and Gio dart in on a criss-crossing rush, and Gio makes a crazy nifty touch pass while taking two defenders into the corner with him, and Zach swaggers alone in on Dubie and roofs a sweet backhand shot over everyone’s favorite underdog. 2-1 Islanders.
0:00 Save for the last 30 seconds or so, that period sucked ass. But now we feel a lot better, so thanks for that, Zach and Gio.
Steve interviews Zach, and he looks as brain-eating-zombie pale as Pelley did. He also sounds pathetically sick.
SECOND INTERMISSION
Dano is giddy with delight about how many fights have been in this game, and jokes that he’s looking for a pair of skates so he can jump into the action. He would probably be an offensive improvement.
THIRD PERIOD
18:47 Mottau whiffs on a pass at his own faceoff dot, thereby handing the puck to the Islanders for a two-on-one down low. Marty comes up huge to stop Satan, and Pookie finds herself exhorting Sutter to start throwing garbage cans at his players’ heads.
17:43 The ice seems to have a thin coating of stickum on it, because almost every pass is ending up going a foot or so shorter than the passer intends.
16:51 We are all momentarily fooled when a pass attempt by Sarge on a nice rush gets deflected onto the goal by the defender’s skate, but alas, a goal is not scored.
16:01 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Madden smokes Comrie on an offensive-zone draw, then Zach makes a great strength play to kick the puck to Brookbank at the point while a defender is draped all over him. Brookbank then fires one of his trademark chaos-inducing wristers, and Madden leaps on the rebound when neither Dubie nor Comrie see fit to attempt to defend against it. 2-2 game, and Boomer intones gravely, “You know what? The next goal will be huge.”
15:26 The Devils get a second consecutive shift with great scoring chances. Chico seems to think the wheels are falling off the Islanders.
14:41 A deliberately-paced rush by the Devils results in Gio passing to Paulie instead of just putting the puck on the net. Paulie fires so far wide it’s almost as though he was aiming for the side boards, but Doc politely says the shot goes “just wide”. Paulie has actually been shooting with impunity tonight, and as the camera follows him to the bench, Doc reminds us he’s been sitting at 99 points on his career for quite a few games now. Well that explains it.
13:40 Dubie is not helping Travis get over his fear of acorns, and makes a great leaping save on a nice tip attempt.
12:58 The crowd murmurs with displeasure after the Freight Train From The Ukraine makes an appearance standing up Jackman at the Islanders blue line.
10:37 Wait, what just happened there? The teams are going end to end now, but all of a sudden the Islanders seem to be on a 400-on-one. They don’t manage to get a shot, though.
10:03 Gio is fired. In fact, Pookie declares, “Gio, you have never been more fired in your life than you are right now.” Travis handcuffs Dubie with a snappy shot, and Gio finds himself at the side of the crease with an almost entirely yawning, empty net in front of him. He lifts the puck well over the crossbar instead of scoring.
8:17 The Islanders calm the puck down in the Devils zone, and after some cool passing up high, Sutton catches Marty by surprise with a quick shot through a crowd. 3-2 Islanders. We console ourselves with the knowledge that at least this one wasn’t scored on some crappy standing-around by the Devils on the PP or on a bullshit penalty call.
7:43 Pookie: “I feel like I’m going to cry again. For a minute there, I was feeling happy. Carefree.” Does nobody feel for Pookie’s joie de vivre? Isn’t that a sadder underdog story than Dubie?
6:55 It seems the Devils’ interest in offensive pressure has died, and they are now reverting back to the “let’s get pinned for extended periods of time in our own zone” game plan we all know and love so well.
4:58 The “let’s get pinned for extended periods of time in our own zone” game plan executes perfectly, and Bergenheim easily puts home a loose rebound to make this 4-2 Islanders.
3:15 We are now settling into the comfortable feeling of knowing at least the Devils didn’t get shut out, which is better than we expected based on the first half of this game.
2:14 Paulie, hungry for his 100th point, decides to try to go coast to coast, but only manages to get to his own blue line before turning the puck over. PaulieMartinNation is confident that play will work next time, though.
1:15 We are informed the Devils have an extra attacker on now. If Doc hadn’t mentioned it, we never would have noticed.
0:15 Comrie hits the empty net, and we are given the obligatory shot of his celebrity girlfriend. Because he wasn’t loathsome enough without her.
0:00 Well, that was a much more interesting game than Devils games on the Island normally are, so we’ll give it that. But the painful lesson at the heart of it all was that the Devils simply aren’t going to win many games when they only show up to play for about 12 minutes spread between the second and third periods.
Dear Devils’ Power Play,
Please stop sucking.
Thanks,
Frisby
Dear Mr. Frisby,
No can do.
Sincerely,
NJ Devils PP
P.S. You might want to plug that iron in now.
I’m going to find out during the second period whether jabbing oneself in the eye with a soldering iron impedes one’s ability to write a game diary. I think it’s going to be awesome.
Ookies, Mark and I just totally had a fight over whether the game last night was boring because of the Devil’s trapping or not. You should’ve been here!
I’m sorry I missed it! But really, if the Devils were trapping so were the Sabres. The Devils had the puck most of the time; as our wise friend Morgan once pointed out “you can’t trap when you have the puck”. I personally didn’t think last night’s game was boring.
The Devils had the puck most of the time; as our wise friend Morgan once pointed out “you can’t trap when you have the puck”.
I said that exact thing along with, “When it sucked, it sucked because we played like shit.” But he’s like the MSM, he can’t get past the “Devils are killing hockey with the boring trap!” stuff.
I’m so glad you agree! Tell Mark he’s wrong, wrong, wrong!
Now, fight after fight after fight? That’s killing hockey.
The buzzer sounds, and we get up to scrounge in the pantry for a potent beverage or two.
I could use those sometimes. I’m not going to assume I’m going to need them tonight, because that would fail. I’m crossing my fingers for the Devils.
I’m doing a game diary/liveblog for the Stars/Blues games tonight over at Untypical Girls, if anyone wants to check it out. If anyone cares about those teams at all, really. ;)
Can’t wait to read the diary, Cat!
Heather, you can tell Mark I said it wasn’t the Devils’ fault that the Sabres decided to sit back and spend all night playing as though blocking shooting lanes in their own zone would create a ton of offense for them at the other end. :P
I’m so glad you agree! Tell Mark he’s wrong, wrong, wrong!
Heather, you can tell Mark I said it wasn’t the Devils’ fault that the Sabres decided to sit back and spend all night playing as though blocking shooting lanes in their own zone would create a ton of offense for them at the other end. :P
Good news! Mark just said I was probably right. “I’m not enjoying this game either and really, it’s just because we suck.”
Aw, Mark’s learning! :)
I totally forgot tonight was the Ice Bowl preview game. I’m sure Crunchy’s nervous about the concert. He knows Katebits won’t be there, but he knows her colleagues can and will report back on how he does.
“I’m not enjoying this game either and really, it’s just because we suck.”
It’s a great feeling, isn’t it? The knowing the game is bad because your own team is sucking, not because the other team is doing anything right. :D (I actually wouldn’t recognize the trap if it kicked me in the teeth, so I just always assume when the Devils are being smothered by it that my boys just aren’t playing well.)
Hey, kids! I just spent the whole day at Ikea and then had Salvadoran food at a friend’s house and now I’m sitting down for the Stars game. So I will have to catch up on Devils game a little at a time.
But it won’t stop me from wedging myself into the convo.
I totally forgot tonight was the Ice Bowl preview game.
If this is a preview of the Ice Bowl I might be happy I’m going to be on the couch in my warm home.
Patty, I hope you got out of IKEA without getting SARS!
If this is a preview of the Ice Bowl I might be happy I’m going to be on the couch in my warm home.
:^::::::::::::::::::::
For the love of Pete, it’s TY CONKLIN! SHOOT THE PUCK!
Hi, Patty! I never let logistics get in the way of me joining the conversation so I don’t see why you should either!
This game is not only killing hockey, but it’s also killing my will to live. Why do the Sabres suck so very very hard?
They’re saving up for the big game, surely.
Then we get a look at Sutter, and he is, no joke, trying to bury his head in his collar while failing to hide that he, too, is giggling.
Damn! I wish I was DVRing your game!
They’re saving up for the big game, surely.
No. It’s because they suck ass. :D
Why do the Sabres suck so very very hard?
How can they play SO WELL and then just a few nights later play SO POORLY? Do we need to play Briere or Drury every night? Because I’m okay with that.
Whoa, two shots on one shift!
It’s only 1-0, right? Let me tell you, the Penguins are very capable of finding a way to lose regardless of what the Sabres are doing.
Your right, Pookie! Let’s not forget that the Penguins suck too, Heather!
Patty, I hope you got out of IKEA without getting SARS!
Is that that little side table?
Let’s not forget that the Penguins suck too, Heather!
I know, I know. But still… tough to score on a sucky defense/goalie without shooting the puck.
Oh, look, Soupy forgot he was a defenseman again!
Oh, look, Soupy forgot he was a defenseman again!
Quick, sign him to a huge deal!
Fuck. Our game was really picking up but the stupid fucking Islanders (as Soupy would say) just scored again.
Quick, sign him to a huge deal!
I’m writing about this on my blog right now but I’ve found that this whole contract discussion has turned me on Soupy very quickly. Gawd, he sucks! ;-)
Please stop showing replays of Gary Roberts’ injury. I’m having flashbacks.
What happened to Roberts?
What happened to Roberts?
Connolly tripped and fell into Roberts’ back leg which got totally twisted up under Connolly. It looked pretty awful immediately and they just announced that he broke his leg.
Ick, nasty! I’m not a huge Roberts fan, but still, that’s gotta suck! And I’m sorry it’s giving you flashbacks, Heather.
Ick, nasty! I’m not a huge Roberts fan, but still, that’s gotta suck! And I’m sorry it’s giving you flashbacks, Heather.
I was kind of kidding about the flashbacks, but I did say immediately, “Ahhhhghghghg! He just totally broke something!” I don’t care for Roberts either but it was pretty rough looking. It’s not often there’s a collision involving Timmy where Timmy’s the one skating away.
This game blows.
Yikes! I hate seeing those broken legs. It’s almost more gruesome than the bloody injuries.
Patty, I totally agree. Bloody injuries, especially when it’s clear there’s no SERIOUS damage, make me kind of ooh and ahhh (which probably says something about me). I don’t like watching things bend in ways they’re not supposed to.
The soldering iron is just not going to do it tonight. I’m going to look for a rusty butterknife.
Good plan, Frisby. This game sucked. Actually, it was a vast improvement, entertainment wise over the previous Islanders games this season, and we didn’t get shut out, so I shouldn’t complain too much, but damn this 3rd period sucked.
Heather, you’re so right. Last year, Steve Ott broke his ankle in a fight. At first, when he couldn’t get up, the ref thought he was concussed. In replays you could see him grabbing the ref’s arm to tell him he needs help.
But his foot just folded up next to his leg. It made me newly queasy every time I saw the replay. And all the guys on the bench were reacting to the replay on the jumbotron the same way. Even grosses out hockey players.
MrFrisby, if a rusty butterknife will help Nashville to beat the Sharks, I won’t make you put it down.
ooh, I guess I better throw off my Langenbrunner sweater and don my Mason.
Well that was puketastic! Although at least we didn’t have any body parts bending the wrong way in our game. I don’t even watch the replays of that shit anymore. Not since seeing Jason Kendall rip his foot off while trying to bunt for a base hit however many years ago that was. Man, I’ve always hated the whole bunting-for-a-base-hit thing, and that was just further proof it sucks.
Wait! Did wearing your Langenbrunner help? Maybe you shouldn’t put on the Mason!
No Patty, wearing the Langenbrunner did not help.
Well, wearing my Langenbrunner didn’t help the Devils.
Not since seeing Jason Kendall rip his foot off while trying to bunt for a base hit
Gosh. I’m glad I didn’t see that!
Fortunately, this season they haven’t played that video of Ott’s ankle.
I guess the Mason isn’t going to help either. Sharks just scored on PP to take a 3-2 lead.
The Comrie / Mottau fight looked pretty impressive on the replay. Then again, I’m used to Andrew Peters waving his arms and not hitting things, so any fight with actual punches is pretty impressive.
It’s not often there’s a collision involving Timmy where Timmy’s the one skating away.
I said the same thing.
They also mentioned that they brought the stretcher out for Roberts, but he refused.
This game blows.
So much word.
They also mentioned that they brought the stretcher out for Roberts, but he refused.
He was like, “I didn’t take a stretcher off the battlefield in the Crimean War, so I’m not taking one off this battlefield.” No one had the heart to tell him that it’s a hockey rink, not a battlefield. Let him have his little warrior fantasies before they bring out the racehorse screen and humanely put him down.
The Comrie-Mottau fight was a strong argument in favor of fighting in hockey. It was good times.
So Sutter’s always-dynamic post-game comments here have included him saying the Devils looked, for too many stretches of the game, like a team that hasn’t learned how to play in its own defensive zone. And who would be responsible for teaching a team how to play in their own defensive zone, Coach? Hm?
Sweet! Steve just cheerfully announced that every other team in the Atlantic won tonight. Super!
Ugh, SJ scores to make it 4-2. I feel like I just watched this game.
Not since seeing Jason Kendall rip his foot off while trying to bunt for a base hit
Eww, yeah. That one was bad.
Lindy’s gonna be pissed. Evidently he wasn’t happy after last night’s game and they looked even worse tonight.
Ugh, SJ scores to make it 4-2. I feel like I just watched this game.
Does this mean you need to find a second rusty butter knife, or will the first one just do double duty?
Lindy’s gonna be pissed. Evidently he wasn’t happy after last night’s game and they looked even worse tonight.
Your guys must just be looking ahead to the Stupid Fucking Ice Bowl too much! :P
Dumont gets hooked down. I hope the Predators PP is better than the Devils.
Sweet! Steve just cheerfully announced that every other team in the Atlantic won tonight. Super!
And every team in the Northeast lost tonight. That combined with the Sabres loss tonight drops them from 5th in the conference to out of the playoffs.
Isn’t hockey grand?
Oh, look, Soupy forgot he was a defenseman again!
I’m beginning to think Soupy never knew he was a defenseman in the first place, Heather. Please, let’s not pay $5 mil for that.
I had that same exact “the Devils are boring and killing hockey” argument with my dad last night. I was a little surprised how immediately huffy and defensive I got about the Devils. The IPBrainwashing is really working!
I almost had a heart attack when I saw Roberts go down, because I was convinced that it was Timmy for a second. That replay was nasty, though. Yeowch!
Um, and I just got a lot less excited for the Ice Bowl tonight. Please bring my team back! Please?
Does this mean you need to find a second rusty butter knife, or will the first one just do double duty?
I think this means I need to find a rusty spoon.
Your guys must just be looking ahead to the Stupid Fucking Ice Bowl too much! :P
Hee! That must be it.
I hope the Predators PP is better than the Devils.
It won’t be hard. I think the league is going to start ranking some AHL power plays above the Devils’ soon. It’s so wretched, they’re going to be ranked 47th out of 30.
I was a little surprised how immediately huffy and defensive I got about the Devils. The IPBrainwashing is really working!
That’s so great to hear! Bwah-hah-hah-hah!
By the way, Gambler, I totally want to watch a hockey game with your family! That game diary was so, so, so funny!
Schnookie, :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to the whole Crimean War scenario. Or as I said to my brother as he was down, “There goes Roberts, bleeding sand all over the ice.”
Let him have his little warrior fantasies before they bring out the racehorse screen and humanely put him down.
:^:::::::::::::
Lindy’s gonna be pissed. Evidently he wasn’t happy after last night’s game and they looked even worse tonight.
Lindy threatened to take away their day off tomorrow if they didn’t play well tonight. Something tells me the boys are going to get skated hard tomorrow.
Your guys must just be looking ahead to the Stupid Fucking Ice Bowl too much!
Speaking of the Stupid Fucking Ice Bowl, one of the intermission features tonight showed the walk the players are going to have to make to the benches from the locker room. Its a really long walk! I’m waiting for someone to get hurt, as they need to go up a few steps and over some pipes.
I’m beginning to think Soupy never knew he was a defenseman in the first place, Heather. Please, let’s not pay $5 mil for that.
I’m a little shocked at how quickly I’ve turned on Soupy. I think it’s all the talk about him and Spacek being the new number one pairing! Okay, he does what he does well well. But let’s not get carried away, people. Most nights he barely qualifies as a d-man.
The IPBrainwashing is really working!
High five, Pookie!
Seriously, though, last year I was so puzzled by Lindy’s approach to the Devils, and he did it again last night (although I take it he’s running a tighter defensive ship in general this year). He really strangely decides to sit back against them, and I can’t figure out why. I mean, the Devils are soft one-on-one on D and slow in transition, so why not go at them with speed? Instead, Lindy’s all “Eek! Fight fire with fire! Gotta trap, gotta trap!” and Buffalo fans end up justifiably hating the Devils. Although it’s not because of anything the Devils are actually doing on the ice — it’s just because Lindy Ruff freaks out and pushes the “sit back for 60 minutes” panic button.
“There goes Roberts, bleeding sand all over the ice.”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::: * gasp * :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
“There goes Roberts, bleeding sand all over the ice.”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I could go on all night. That was AWESOME. And I second Pookie’s raving about the game diary. I want to watch more games with the Gambler Family.
I think it’s all the talk about him and Spacek being the new number one pairing!
Hee! So true! The second a guy starts getting the praise that’s supposed to go to one of my favorites, I lash out. For years I’ve hated John Madden for being more revered as a checking forward than Pando. (And as a slightly related aside, aren’t you all proud of me not wailing every day about how he’s STILL injured, and I just can’t bear to watch hockey without him?)
Hee! So true! The second a guy starts getting the praise that’s supposed to go to one of my favorites, I lash out.
Hank and Toni aren’t playing great. I get it. Really, I do. I’d still rather have them bumbling around against Crosby than Campbell playing his very best defensive hockey. This is insanity, people!
(And as a slightly related aside, aren’t you all proud of me not wailing every day about how he’s STILL injured, and I just can’t bear to watch hockey without him?)
Very proud! What did he do again? Was he supposed to be out this long?
Is it okay for me to mention that today’s my birthday?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!!!!
That was a hilarious game diary, Gambler. You should do that often.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HEATHER!
Other than the obvious, has it been a good one?
Gambler, I concur that your family diary was very funny! I read it a few days later and really enjoyed it. And if that was your brother in those photos, he’s a bit of a cutie.
Other than the obvious, has it been a good one?
Yeah, is has been a pretty good one, thanks!
What did he do again? Was he supposed to be out this long?
He slammed backwards into the boards behind the net and ended up tearing a ligament somewhere around his pelvis. (“Shifted bits”, if you will.) Apparently it’s one of those injuries that happens most frequently in car accidents, and there’s no timetable on his return. I’m trying to be strong and suffer in silence, but it’s not easy. I MISS HIM SO! PAAAAANNNNNNNDOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy Birthday, Heather! HOORAY!
And if that was your brother in those photos, he’s a bit of a cutie.
He is! I was saying to Pookie earlier that I have a crush on Gambler’s brother now! :D (Assuming that’s him. If it’s not, I have a crush on that random dude on Gambler’s blog. I hope he’s not Gambler’s boyfriend or something, because that would be awkward if it was. :P)
So Heather, is it nice finally being 21? That’s what you turned today, right? :P
Happy Birthday, Heather!
I MISS HIM SO! PAAAAANNNNNNNDOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, I remember now. That does sound painful. And it sounds like one of those injuries that would be awfully hard to skate with.
So Heather, is it nice finally being 21? That’s what you turned today, right? :P
The big 3-0! And thanks for the wishes, everyone!
Schnookie, I’ve been very impressed with your stiff upper lip when it comes to Pando. I hope you’re not holding it in too much though. It’s good to let these things out from time to time.
30?! I loved turning 30! 30 is the new 23, you know.
PAAAAANNNNNNNDOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kate’s right, Schnookie. Just do the above every once in a while and it’ll help immensely.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!!!!
30?! I loved turning 30! 30 is the new 23, you know.
Is it? Well, then I’m delighted!
30?! I loved turning 30! 30 is the new 23, you know.
I also loved turning 30! Along with 28, it was my favorite birthday ever! Welcome to codgerdom, Heather — it’s good to have you join us here among the graybeards. :D
And you guys are right. I need to let my feelings out more often and have a good cry once a week for Pando. He’s missed something like 13 consecutive games now, after playing over 300 in a row. My heart doesn’t even know how to react to this.
HEATHER, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!
I could go on all night. That was AWESOME.
Okay, full disclosure is that that’s a phrase my brother originally came up with for Numminen. I applied it to Roberts in this particular case, but most of that nose-liquid should be sprayed in his direction. (Too gross?)
And I don’t mean to bad-mouth the Ookies and Bommer or anything, but my family is the awesomest to watch hockey with. I’m really going to miss it when I go off to the Land of Jochen.
And if that was your brother in those photos, he’s a bit of a cutie.
Yeah, that’s him, but it’s a little strange how young he looks considering that was just last Christmas. He grows up so fast!
I was saying to Pookie earlier that I have a crush on Gambler’s brother now!
I’ve gotten used to it. There are a whole bunch of my friends who are planning on entering into the family by marrying Dan. It’s certainly less awkward than when they have crushes on my dad!
It’s certainly less awkward than when they have crushes on my dad!
Gambler, I didn’t want to say anything, but since you brought it up, I have to admit that I’ve been nursing a crush on your dad. I can’t help it. He’s a doctor, he raised cool kids, and he’s seen Timmy’s bits. He’s perfect for me. Tell your mom that she can have Pommers, if I can have her husband.
I’m really going to miss it when I go off to the Land of Jochen.
Gambler, when do you leave? How long will you be gone? Will you be in touch with the internet? Are you so, so excited? I expect to see pictures of Jochen’s childhood home? Surely it’s a historic landmark on some kind of walking tour, right?
I’ve been impressed, Schnookie, but I’ve been a little pre-occupied trying to stifle the same complaining about Boucher. Poor Pando.
I also have a crush on Gambler’s dad. I imagine he’s quite the silver fox. :P
Patty, you and I should be allowed to take extended leaves of absence from work, so we can sit together in a bar somewhere, weeping into our Jack-two-ohs over our fallen heroes.
That’s it, Gambler. We need photos of Dad.
Here is a condensed list of the Sabres that I hate:
Soupy
Timmy
Patches
Max
Soupy
Vanek
Roysie
Soupy
Lindy
I think we grossed Gambler out.
Here is a condensed list of the Sabres that I hate:
Kate, that’s quite a list! I don’t hate quite that many.
Why the hate for Lindy? And Timmy? Otherwise I’d agree with a lot of your list and I wouldn’t even disagree with Timmy. Just wondering what your reasoning is. (I’m pissed at his lame “Sometimes visors make injuries worse” argument. Like when, dumbass?)
I think we grossed Gambler out.
Hee! That’s what she gets for hanging out with people ten years older than she is. We’re all at an age where we can say we have crushes on both her brother AND her father.
Katebits, your list of Sabres you hate is the saddest thing in the world.
First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER B.!!!!!!!!!!! (Peanuts yell)
Second of all, way to go on the crushworthy family, Gambler.
And third of all, I officially apologize for the lesbian jokes I’ve made at Paul Martin’s expense. He looks like neither Ellen nor Anne. That is one NICE haircut. I had a bit of a pearl-clutching moment on the hi-def with him.
Tell your mom that she can have Pommers, if I can have her husband.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Also, I have to tell you all, hearing my mom say “I’ll give him a Beggin’ Strip!” after reading one of my posts about Pommers was possibly the best moment of my life. Even if the rest of my experience as a blogger was like choosing between lava and the surface of the sun (which it hasn’t been), I think that alone would have made starting my blog worth it.
Heather, I fly out Thursday. (!!!!!!) And I’m going to be gone until the third of July. So much hockey I’ll be missing! I’m not exactly sure what the internet situation will be like. Once I’m in Vienna starting in March I’ll have internet in my dorms, but I don’t know how much access I’ll have in Berlin. I’m going to try to blog as much as possible, but there will be a significant drop. There will definitely be pictures, though. I’m thinking about starting up a blog for my travels, and I’ll leave a link for anyone who’s interested. I’m SO excited, but also incredibly nervous. What if my German sucks? Will they kick me out?
Here is a condensed list of the Sabres that I hate
So I take it Soupy is being crossed off your Christmas card list for next year then?
Here is a condensed list of the Sabres that I hate:
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Here is a condensed list of the Devils I hate:
Anyone involved in tonight’s game who isn’t named Marty. Oh, and I’ll toss Soupy in there for good measure, too. Not because he’s a Devil but because he sucks that bad.
I’m pissed at his lame “Sometimes visors make injuries worse” argument. Like when, dumbass?
Uhhh… like… uh… when that time? With that guy? In that place? Where the visor cut him? You weren’t watching that game. He nearly died. It was awful. And his visor made his knee bend the wrong way.
Oh, and I hate Timmy too, but that’s just me.
I think we grossed Gambler out.
Sorry! I fall behind so easily here! I’m getting a little distracted by the Giants Patriots game, if you can believe it.
(I’m pissed at his lame “Sometimes visors make injuries worse” argument. Like when, dumbass?)
Hee!
Zubie teased Robidas about a goal that deflected off Robi’s visor for a goal against. He said if he hadn’t been wearing that visor, it wouldn’t have been a goal.
Uh, yeah… he’d-a been dead.
That is one NICE haircut. I had a bit of a pearl-clutching moment on the hi-def with him.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so sorry we weren’t watching the Islanders feed now! (And I’m so glad you realize he’s NOT a lesbian science teacher!) (And seriously, why are we still not getting Devils games in HD? What is UO with that?)
Gambler, that is too funny about the Beggin’ Strip!
Oh, and I’ll toss Soupy in there for good measure, too. Not because he’s a Devil but because he sucks that bad.
Six million per worth of sucktitude?
Heather, I fly out Thursday. (!!!!!!) And I’m going to be gone until the third of July.
Wow, I didn’t realize you were going to be gone so long! I’m so excited for you! Did your jersey come in yet?
That is one NICE haircut. I had a bit of a pearl-clutching moment on the hi-def with him.
Wait, what? Were we watching the wrong feed?! Did you get to see a Paulie interview? I’m so jealous! I’m all aswoon over his haircut this season. I bet that’s what he treated himself to with his new contract — a real salon haircut. I’m glad to see the lesbian science teacher remarks reminded, although Schnookie and I did both have the same reaction to Chico saying, “I like the look of Paul Martin!”: Me too, although he is weird looking and I could see why someone else wouldn’t be into him…
Margee, *grumbling* congratulations on your team’s win. *grumble grumble*
Gambler, I definitely want to read a German travel blog!
Oh, and I hate Timmy too, but that’s just me.
But why?! I’m okay with this, I just need to know if there are reasons. Is it just one of those “I hate that guy” things that you can’t really explain?
Why the hate for Lindy? And Timmy?
I hate Timmy because he has a bitch face and he holds onto the puck for, like, FORTY FIVE MINUTES at a time during the power play. I hate Lindy because the Sabres are totally pitiful about about half of the time, and because he has baby chick hair. (I love Toni Lydman because of his baby chick hair. Go figure.)
Sigh. I don’t really hate them. But I DO really want to punch them in the face.
Gambler, I kind of have a crush on your mom too.
That’s it, Gambler. We need photos of Dad.
Unfortunately I’m on my cousin’s computer, which doesn’t really have pictures of my dad lying around. Just imagine a 52-year-old version of my brother with green eyes and you’re pretty much there.
Oh, and I hate Timmy too, but that’s just me.
It’s just because he’s been up close and personal with my dad, isn’t it Schnookie? You can be honest. :P
I hate Timmy because he has a bitch face and he holds onto the puck for, like, FORTY FIVE MINUTES at a time during the power play.
I can see that. While he’s a great stick-handler I do wish he’d handle a LITTLE less and shoot a LITTLE more.
I hate Lindy because the Sabres are totally pitiful about about half of the time…
I understand the idea of a coach may able to motivate a team, but god, these guys are so inconsistent which is ultimately on them. If you don’t play hard, you’re not going to win. Your coach shouldn’t have to make you play hard every night. (That’s not really directed at you, Kate, so much as the team. They’re driving me bonkers.)
If this is a preview of the Ice Bowl I might be happy I’m going to be on the couch in my warm home.
Sorry, Heather, but I hope it IS a preview, minus the injuries to my players and Sid trying to help you guys score. But if the current forecast holds – especially windwise – you might be happy to be indoors no matter how the Sabres do.
Let’s not forget that the Penguins suck too, Heather!
I know, I know. But still… tough to score on a sucky defense/goalie without shooting the puck.
Hey – not true! We only suck within the division. Outside of that, we’re actually pretty good.
Crunchy played well for you guys, and the stats were really very even through the whole game. It just seemed like your guys didn’t really have their legs – “second-game syndrome” or something.
Just imagine a 52-year-old version of my brother with green eyes and you’re pretty much there.
Are you trying to kill us?
It’s just because he’s been up close and personal with my dad, isn’t it Schnookie? You can be honest. :P
Absolutely. Am I that transparent?
As for why I hate Timmy, I agree with Katebits. He has bitchface, he seems like an asshole, when he’s able to skate he hangs onto the puck for too long, and frankly, in the time I’ve been paying attention to the Sabres, he’s been injured more often than he’s been playing, so I keep hearing about how fantastic he is, and how much better the team would be if he was in the lineup and blah blah blah. I keep expecting when he does play for him to be the second coming. Which he’s not. So I hate him. And he has bitchface. Did I mention that?
Did your jersey come in yet?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Seriously, I’m starting to wonder who I have to sleep with to get it to arrive before the Ice Bowl. That would be awesome!
I found out today that one of my sister’s assy ex-boyfriends recently bought a Hecht jersey, and part of my soul died.
It just seemed like your guys didn’t really have their legs – “second-game syndrome” or something.
Which might be a decent excuse if they’d used their legs at all last night. But… not so much true.
Sorry about Roberts. Eek!
If you don’t play hard, you’re not going to win. Your coach shouldn’t have to make you play hard every night.
I see your point, Heather, but just playing the Devil’s advocate (see what I did there? :P), if a coach gets praised for doing his job well when his team shows up and plays hard every night, shouldn’t he also get blamed when they don’t?
Seriously, I’m starting to wonder who I have to sleep with to get it to arrive before the Ice Bowl.
I’m sorry to tell you this Gambler, but in order to get your jersey in time, you are going to have to sleep with Jaroslav Spacek. Thems the rules.
I see your point, Heather, but just playing the Devil’s advocate (see what I did there? :P), if a coach gets praised for doing his job well when his team shows up and plays hard every night, shouldn’t he also get blamed when they don’t?
I guess. I don’t know. My personal opinion is that the coach doesn’t have much of anything to do with anything :D But I could come up with a short list of things that Lindy’s done lately that completely perplex me so maybe Kate’s right.
I can see that. While he’s a great stick-handler I do wish he’d handle a LITTLE less and shoot a LITTLE more.
I wish the team would PASS a little less and SHOOT a little more. Just in general. Not only on the power play.
Timmy does kind of look like he’s been sucking a lemon, doesn’t he?
The big 3-0!
Hey, Happy 3-0! I went skydiving to celebrate mine a few months ago – I know you can’t exactly do that in your situation (not that it’s advisable to do this time of year anyway), but I hope you have something you can do to commemorate the occasion.
I’ve found the best part of being 30 is that you don’t get elbows to the ribs and eyerolls when you tell people you’re 29. That irritated the hell out of me.
in order to get your jersey in time, you are going to have to sleep with Jaroslav Spacek. Thems the rules.
That’s… that’s… that’s TERRIBLE! Gambler, it’s just not worth it!
But I could come up with a short list of things that Lindy’s done lately that completely perplex me so maybe Kate’s right.
Hee! I also find myself often wondering what, exactly, the coaches really accomplish, but then my view is probably a bit skewed considering which team I cheer for. :D
Amy, I almost blew a gasket when Thomas Vanek, with full control of the puck in the slot right in front of the goalie, elected to PASS! What the hell, Thomas?!
My personal opinion is that the coach doesn’t have much of anything to do with anything
I would be inclined to agree with that to a certain point but over the last 12 years I’ve seen so clearly how a team responds when they have the right and wrong coaches. And a lot of the time the right or wrong coach has nothing to do with the coach’s talent at coaching and everything to do with how the coach fits the team. Case in point: Larry Robinson was the perfect fit for the Devils at the end of 2000, but was a terrible fit for the team in 2005-06. Teams change. Even when the same nucleus is there, they change and their coaching needs change.
in order to get your jersey in time, you are going to have to sleep with Jaroslav Spacek. Thems the rules.
I don’t know. I could see Jaro being entertaining atleast.
But if the current forecast holds – especially windwise – you might be happy to be indoors no matter how the Sabres do.
I’m really hoping the hardiness I gained by going to college in Minnesota will come through for me on Tuesday, but if it’s that windy I’ll probably turn into a whiny little baby. Unless the Sabres are playing well and winning, then I’ll tough it out.
he seems like an asshole
I don’t want to tear down any fourth walls, here, but my dad said when he dealt with Connolly (and his bitslessness) he was kind of an asshole. Well, sort of typical professional athlete standoffish and aloof, but certainly not like Goose who was friendly and pleasant to everyone in the office when he came in for his ankle injury last season.
Also, my brother swears there’s a girl at his school, a sophomore, who has dated Connolly. Now, I’m not going to believe that kind of hearsay, but I certainly could believe it. Timmy kind of seems like the kind of guy who would chase high school girls, doesn’t he?
in order to get your jersey in time, you are going to have to sleep with Jaroslav Spacek. Thems the rules.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Oh God, can you just imagine the dirty talk? Hah! Ew!
I would be inclined to agree with that to a certain point but over the last 12 years I’ve seen so clearly how a team responds when they have the right and wrong coaches.
Then fire all the players and get a new team! I love Lindy, okay? He’s my rock! He’s the one guy who’s always been a Sabre! I’m not giving him up just because of a bunch of lazy, stubborn babies who think everything in life is always going to come easily! Not every girl is going to let you stick your tongue down her throat and not every team is just going to let you walk in and score!
Happy Birthday, Heather!!!!
Sorry about the Devils game oookies. *Sigh* Pancakes! He’s so adorable.
I kind of hate Lindy after he bitched about defensive teams when the Sabres were in an earlier losing slump. That might be a little bit of me being protective over my hott defensive team.
I’m mucho impressed over your coping with your favorite players being injured, Patty and Pookie. Matty O has been out for three games and I’m already dying.
Not every girl is going to let you stick your tongue down her throat and not every team is just going to let you walk in and score!
Soupy: Wait, what?
(OK, Heather, I promise, in honor of your birthday, I’ll stop talking about firing Lindy tonight. Oh, and :^:::::::::::)
I don’t want to tear down any fourth walls, here, but my dad said when he dealt with Connolly (and his bitslessness) he was kind of an asshole.
The general consensus seems to be that Timmy’s an asshole. Everyone I’ve ever heard had any personal contact with him has said the same. I’ve also heard tales of him wooing high schoolers along with a certain other Sabre who’s totally not worth 5 million dollars.
Seriously, I’m going to have to do a drastic re-ranking of my favorites pretty soon, I think.
Sorry, Schnookie! Not Pookie! I kind of fell in love with the letter P there.
Sorry Ookies! @@@@ I feel so bad when I accidently mix you gals up.
Timmy kind of seems like the kind of guy who would chase high school girls, doesn’t he?
I don’t know about Timmy, but I heard Soupy did for awhile.
Not every girl is going to let you stick your tongue down her throat and not every team is just going to let you walk in and score!
That needs to be put on a white board somewhere.
Which might be a decent excuse if they’d used their legs at all last night. But… not so much true.
Yikes, well, that’s too bad. The back-to-back thing is always weird, because it’s an excuse but it’s not (kind of like “but I was drunk….”). But they seemed tired. Well, that shouldn’t be an issue on Tuesday.
Sorry about Roberts. Eek!
Thanks. That one hurts – he had just returned to form, plus I hate those freaky accidents (with dirty plays at least you can blame somebody). Ironically, that type of weird, injury-causing entanglement is just what I was afraid bad weather/ice could cause on Tuesday.
Not to mention he’s our 637th guy out with a long-term injury (I might be exaggerating just a tad there). They might actually be regretting letting Recchi go at this point – we’re running out of players to call up from Wilkes-Barre. I just feel bad they all won’t be able to play in the ice bowl. And with Gary and Mark Eaton, to get so close before getting injured – well, nobody knows better than you do how not fair that is.
Not every girl is going to let you stick your tongue down her throat and not every team is just going to let you walk in and score!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I kind of hate Lindy after he bitched about defensive teams when the Sabres were in an earlier losing slump.
That pissed me off, too. Especially since his team has been a lot more successful of late… thanks to playing defensive hockey. I mean, shut up, Lindy. Just shut up.
And Gambler, you’re totally not the first person I’ve heard saying that Timmy is certifiably an asshole. I will also henceforth believe in my heart of hearts that he dates high schoolers.
I kind of hate Lindy after he bitched about defensive teams when the Sabres were in an earlier losing slump. That might be a little bit of me being protective over my hott defensive team.
I give Lindy some slack there because the organization has basically groomed him an offense first/defense last if at all team. I’m sure it is frustrating to watch some of the hooking and grabbing creep back in when that really drags down the strength of your team. (Also? Your team is boring ;-)
I don’t know. I could see Jaro being entertaining atleast.
Yeah, there are certainly Sabres I would rather sleep with less than Spacek, now that I think about it.
What the hell, Thomas?!
That was disgusting, wasn’t it? It’s Ty Conklin, Vanek! Shoot the puck!
I’ve also heard tales of him wooing high schoolers along with a certain other Sabre who’s totally not worth 5 million dollars.
Was that part of your fourth wall breakage earlier this year? I’d totally believe it.
Not every girl is going to let you stick your tongue down her throat and not every team is just going to let you walk in and score!
That needs to be put on a white board somewhere.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Sorry Ookies! @@@@ I feel so bad when I accidently mix you gals up.
No worries — our parents did it all the time! We’re totally used to it now. (And our real-life names don’t even sound or look anything alike, nor do we look alike. I don’t get why they confused us so much. Maybe it was the fact that we share a brain… :D)
Sorry Ookies! @@@@ I feel so bad when I accidently mix you gals up.
No problem! Just don’t call us late for dinner. Or Rangers fans. Other than that, we’re cook.
I don’t know about Timmy, but I heard Soupy did for awhile.
This is where Goose has it easy. Goslings are cute, and grown up geese are all pretty and stuff, but teenage geese? No way. So when all the guys are going out for the Underage Fun Nights that Captain Soupy arranges, Goose is like, “Sorry guys, can’t do it.” And then he goes home to Foxy Gander.
Was that part of your fourth wall breakage earlier this year? I’d totally believe it.
I want it stated for the record that Heather did not disclose that when she shared her fourth wall breakage with me. I heard all the other stuff (tongues down throats, taking off wedding rings, et al), but nothing about the underage lasses! (Of course, underage girls were part of the unwelcome Devils fourth-wall breakage we were forced to endure a few years ago, so I guess I should always just assume they’re in there somewhere. Like Matty O’s threesome, for example. We should just assume they’re tenth graders to be safe. :P)
This is where Goose has it easy. Goslings are cute, and grown up geese are all pretty and stuff, but teenage geese? No way.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I’ve been trying to pretend that I love Goose because he’s so handsome, but I have to admit, the real reason i love him is because of Foxy Gander. He really is lucky that teenage geese are so hideous.
(Also? Your team is boring ;-)
Heh! People keep telling me this, but somehow I keep not getting the memo :p
Was that part of your fourth wall breakage earlier this year? I’d totally believe it.
No, I read that on a message board somewhere along the way. (And not one of those PLAYER X’S GIRLFRIEND boards – one of the fan boards. Not that that means it’s necessarily true but you know.)
Jaro seems like he could be the faithful type. I like to picture him trying to quickly, stutteringly and gutturally letting you down easy, Gambler. “IhavewifeIloveveryverymuchsorryaboutyourjerseythoughthat’stoobad.”
What so bizarre about those two allegedly wooing high schoolers is that one of their teammates allegedly lives across the street from an all-girls high school. If there were any stories of wooing, I’m surprised Teammate X isn’t named as a suspect just because he’s in the vicinity.
And another thing, I’m the same age as Timmy. I can’t imagine going after a high school boy (or even a college freshman). They’re so young!
Iwouldhavesexwithyouifitwerenotformywifewhoiloveverymuchyouareaveryprettygirlgoodforyou
If there were any stories of wooing, I’m surprised Teammate X isn’t named as a suspect just because he’s in the vicinity.
Would a GAY MAN live next to a girl’s high school? :P
I’m really hoping the hardiness I gained by going to college in Minnesota will come through for me on Tuesday, but if it’s that windy I’ll probably turn into a whiny little baby. Unless the Sabres are playing well and winning, then I’ll tough it out.
Gambler, I’m sure that was some major hardiness! The first thing I did when I was being courted by universities was to throw out all the ones from places like Minnesota specifically due to the weather.
I’ve been through some nasty winter weather myself, including at football games as a member of Virginia Tech’s band (if you’re saying to yourself “well how bad can those be? It’s in VIRGINIA!” I can only say “you have no idea”). But I’m still not at all certain I’m Minnesota hardy.
And another thing, I’m the same age as Timmy. I can’t imagine going after a high school boy (or even a college freshman). They’re so young!
Well, clearly you haven’t seen Gambler’s brother! :-D
Phew. I would hate to have to find a new blog to hang out at :D
:^::::::::::::::::::::: To the Goose story.
Supposedly the Matty O threesome girls were legal but just. So it’s still kinda icky considering he’s like 31. But when we hook up it won’t be icky, of course :p
I’m surprised Teammate X isn’t named as a suspect just because he’s in the vicinity.
Amy, come on. Would a GAY MAN woo high-school girls? :P
(And seriously, other than Gambler’s brother and certain NHLers, high school and college aged boys just really do seem impossibly young. The only time I found myself in a situation where I was like, “Well, once they hit 18 they’re legal, so who cares?” was when I visited Kate the Great when she was teaching at West Point. Hello, handsome, strapping young men in uniform!)
Would a GAY MAN live next to a girl’s high school? :P
As a graduate of one (but not the one in question), I can say YES!
Well, clearly you haven’t seen Gambler’s brother! :-D
I did see Gambler’s brother. Its one thing to swoon, another to pursue. :)
I’ve just remembered why I hate football. One minute left and the Pats are allowed to just keep taking a knee and congratulating each other as the clock runs out? LAME. Where’s the excitement? The last minute of a hockey game is desperation hockey time! I love it! Football sucks.
I like to picture him trying to quickly, stutteringly and gutturally letting you down easy, Gambler. “IhavewifeIloveveryverymuchsorryaboutyourjerseythoughthat’stoobad.”
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That’s it. I’m totally asking Spacek to sleep with me the next time I see him.
Would a GAY MAN live next to a girl’s high school? :P
Oops. Sorry, Katebits. I’m too slow to type these things, so now I look like I’m copying you. :P
But when we hook up it won’t be icky, of course :p
Of course not! When you two hook up it will be because he truly loves and respects you, and because you are using him as a sex object.
Oh man it took me the longest time to get used to running out the clock in football! The longest time. Of course, I also had a really hard time learning to trust the quarterback to get the play off in time. I would be like, “The play clock’s running out, don’t you want to like at least start your rush now?!” You’d think after all those years of the Devils 5-Man Snooze Out I’d be used to it, but I guess not.
Well, clearly you haven’t seen Gambler’s brother! :-D
To be fair, he looks older than me. He seems a little young in those pictures from last year, but now at 18 I’m perfectly confident he would not get carded at a bar. It’s a little unfair.
I did see Gambler’s brother. Its one thing to swoon, another to pursue. :)
You’re so right. No matter how cute they are, they’re just no good for actual conversation and companionship. I hated high school boys when I was in high school. Not that these guys are looking for conversation, I’m sure. (Ugh.)
but now at 18 I’m perfectly confident he would not get carded at a bar. It’s a little unfair.
I haven’t gotten carded at a bar in awhile, but I did get carded buying a Lotto ticket about a month ago.
Not that these guys are looking for conversation, I’m sure. (Ugh.)
Matty O is. There’s nothing he loves more than a lively three-way chat in the backseat of a cab with a couple of sixteen-year-old girls.
Guys, we’re gonna have to have some words with the St. Louis Blues. Happy Meals was defending his goalie and hit a guy, and then all the Blues got in on it. It was severely uncool, and I’m quite upset. I’m most upset by this little moment, which I will try to describe:
Happy Meals is sitting on the ice after being pushed down. One of the Blues grabs him by the front of the jersey and pulls him INTO him. Like, Niskanen’s head goes right into the guy’s leg. And then? The Blues player proceeds to hit him in the face. DON’T TOUCH HAPPY MEALS LIKE THAT.
I’m steaming mad.
I’ve just remembered why I hate football. One minute left and the Pats are allowed to just keep taking a knee and congratulating each other as the clock runs out? LAME. Where’s the excitement? The last minute of a hockey game is desperation hockey time! I love it! Football sucks.
But it’s almost 15 minutes of actual play on a 60-minute game clock! What’s sucky about that? (I do like football, but I sort of like it in spite of itself. The 15 minutes can be great, but the 3.5 hours of my life it takes to watch them become less and less worth it every year.)
Seriously, you’re totally right about the knee thing, and I never understood it either. It defeats the purpose of having a clock if the teams don’t have to actually play until it runs out. If that’s not the dumbest thing about football, then the NFL’s OT format is.
So peace out, IPB. I just hit my leg on my keyboard tray and ripped open a scab from where my work desk attacked me. I have to fix this heinous lower body injury before bed.
See you later!
Matty O is. There’s nothing he loves more than a lively three-way chat in the backseat of a cab with a couple of sixteen-year-old girls.
“Oh, Matty, your neck is soooooo long and beautiful, I just want to stroke it all night.”
Happy Meals is sitting on the ice after being pushed down. One of the Blues grabs him by the front of the jersey and pulls him INTO him. Like, Niskanen’s head goes right into the guy’s leg. And then? The Blues player proceeds to hit him in the face. DON’T TOUCH HAPPY MEALS LIKE THAT.
I’m steaming mad.
That sounds…terribly unsportsmanlike.
Whoa, careful there, Amy! We’ve already got one blogger down here!
“Oh, Matty, your neck is soooooo long and beautiful, I just want to stroke it all night.”
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Matty’s like, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.”
I should point out that no one here actually wants to date my brother. He’s a gross immature high school boy. Totally go for my dad instead. :D
And speaking of my family, I’m off to go erase the memory of the lousy sports night with a rousing game of Bohnanza with them! Have a good night, all!
alix, enjoy your long cab ride with the best three-way player in the league!
Bye, Amy!
HAHA! Thanks Gambler, I will :D Have a good night!
Bye Amy and Gambler!
‘Night Amy! And have fun with Bohnanza, Gambler! (That’s a game that I totally couldn’t handle playing. I’m bad at keeping track of cards during play. :P) Say hi to your dad for me!
Matty O is. There’s nothing he loves more than a lively three-way chat in the backseat of a cab with a couple of sixteen-year-old girls.
“Oh, Matty, your neck is soooooo long and beautiful, I just want to stroke it all night.”
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Gambler, tell your dad I’m available, and tell your mom Pommerdoodle like older ladies!
Bye, Amy! Hopefully you’ll just be day to day.
Whoa, you guys play Bohnanza?!? You’re the cookest family ever! I really liked that game but Schnookie’s too Type A for it so I’ve only ever gotten to play it once. Have you ever played Carcassone? When we play that we all have to agree to not play with farmers or else Schnookie throws a tantrum. Which might explain why we never play board games other than non-Muggins cribbage!
Just imagine a 52-year-old version of my brother with green eyes and you’re pretty much there.
Yikes.
Sorry about Happy Meals, Cat! That’s very rude of the Blues.
When we play that we all have to agree to not play with farmers or else Schnookie throws a tantrum. Which might explain why we never play board games other than non-Muggins cribbage!
At least I recognize my limitations and have gone out of my way to find board games I am emotionally equipped to play. There’s some value in that, right? Right?
Wow. I didn’t realize how far behind I was…
I’ll be right back.
(Woo-hoo! Stars win!)
Sorry, Sabres, shooting the puck on Conkblock only works when he’s not in the net. :P
But hey, now you guys are all pissed to embarrass us on national television. Right, right, right? *yay*
Oh, and you can bet somewhere Gary Roberts is totally raising hell about the guy who broke his leg in the Finals back in the day and then came back and scored. (If you want to keep Andrew Peters in the lineup *that* badly…)
“Oh, Matty, your neck is soooooo long and beautiful, I just want to stroke it all night.”
Matty: Uh, that’s “Matty O” not “O Matty.”
And :^::::::::::::::::::: to about 50 other things y’all said while I was behind.
That guy dragging Happy Meals off the ice by his collar needs a rap in the mouth.
Matty: Uh, that’s “Matty O” not “O Matty.”
Hee! Awwww, I want Matty O to come back! Stupid neck spasms giving him headaches! Boo. I totally feel your pain now, Patty and Schnookie.
Night, ladies! Yay for a Stars win and sorry for the Devils and Sabres loss.
Ookies, turn to 643 for the post-game! Smitty is shirtless!
Sorry, he’s gone now.
Bye, alix!
And I meant to say sorry about the Devil’s and the Saber’s. When my game’s on, I skip around a lot.
Aw, thanks for the heads up, Patty! We’ve turned off the hockey and now all attention at IPB Manor is on Super Mario Galaxy. In fact, I think I’m going to sign off now to give Schnookie moral support in beating the mega-beast on this level. Good night, everyone!
Goodnight!
(Pronger just got an own-goal. Hee!)
Have you ever played Carcassone?
Yeah! Each Christmas my dad gives us kids four or five board games, and this year Carcassone and Bohnanza were part of the tradition. I’ve only played Carcassone once so far, and it seemed really cool, but we’re all downright obsessed with Bohnanza now. It might join the Gambler Family Board Game Hall of Fame alongside Apples to Apples and Settlers of Catan.
I really liked that game but Schnookie’s too Type A for it so I’ve only ever gotten to play it once.
Pookie, clearly you need to join my family (hey, my sister’s still single!) so you can play Bohnanza with us for hours and hours. We’d be glad to have you!
It’s so cook that you Ookies know these games, though! I’m always convinced my dad procures them from some mythical hypothetical place for us, so the idea that someone else has actually played them is sort of shocking.
Pookie, clearly you need to join my family (hey, my sister’s still single!) so you can play Bohnanza with us for hours and hours. We’d be glad to have you!
Sounds good, only I’ll take your brother, father or handsome uncle. Not to offend your sister; I’m sure she’s very nice and very beautiful but I don’t think she’s my type. :P
Most of the gamers I know love Settlers of Catan, but I’ve never played it. I’m not good at strategy games, or games where you have to pay a ton of attention, but I love playing them anyway. So I have to be playing with people who aren’t very serious. Which rules out about 99.99% of the people who have heard of games like Carcassone or Settlers of Catan. So… no board games for me! You know what’s a really good one that even Schnookie likes to play: Blokus. If you guys don’t have it, you should totally check it out for next Christmas. It’s like Tetris but a board game.
We’re watching “Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee” right now and she just made a box of wild rice and then dumped into it mandarin oranges and two spoonfuls of canned cranberry sauce. I may never eat food again.
I may never eat food again.
The cure for this is watching Gordon Ramsay or Alton Brown, no doubt.
…she just made a box of wild rice and then dumped into it mandarin oranges and two spoonfuls of canned cranberry sauce.
I think you’re making this up.
I wish I was making that up.
We’re watching “Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee” right now and she just made a box of wild rice and then dumped into it mandarin oranges and two spoonfuls of canned cranberry sauce.
I saw that episode, too. I only have two questions: what is adult spinach, and what does one do with the remainder of the canned cranberry sauce after one makes the rice?
…and what does one do with the remainder of the canned cranberry sauce after one makes the rice?
Same thing you do with the dish you just made: Pour it down the sink.
Ookies, have you seen the photo of Crunchy and Staffy over at Amy’s blog yet? It’s worth checking out if you haven’t.
Thanks for having a bigger version of the Staffy and Crunchy picture, Amy! They’re such foxxi musicians! :P
what is adult spinach
Baby spinach is those little, tender leaves you see in those prepared-salads bags at the grocery store. Adult spinach is much bigger, toothier leaves. (I only know this because we grew our own last year. Both versions are tasty, but baby spinach is a bit yummier raw.)
Pour it down the sink.
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Heather, Katebits emailed the article this morning, so I had seen it, but Amy, thank you so much for putting a bigger version of the picture up! Yummy! Staffy’s pretty hairy, but still, helloooooo forearms! The article absolutely cracked me up and reminded me about why I love Staffy so (even when he’s having as crappy as season as he is). I love that Crunchy is trying to be the best amateur alternate tuning guitar player he can be.
Amy, I can’t wait to hear how the concert goes! Can you let us know the instant you’ve published your review?
I honestly thought that “adult spinach” was something she was making up.
Amy, thank you so much for putting a bigger version of the picture up!
You’re very welcome. I’m sad the News site doesn’t have up the second picture that was with the article. It was in the atrium of the arena with Crunchy sitting on a stool (smiling), with Staffy standing over him, trying to look menacing, but just looking amused.
I’ll post the concert review when I get back tonight.
Amy, get thee to a scanner, dude!
I’m ready to drop kick my computer across the room, but here it is. I hope the link works!
http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m174/aimelena/crunchy.jpg
AHHHHH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Thanks, Amy! A giant IPB Gold Star of Excellence for you! Crunchy could NOT look funnier! And Staffy looks so… um, badass? Hee hee! Is it just me, or is Staffy a lot more comfortable in his body than Crunchy?
Those pictures are cheering me up because we just took down the tree and almost all our Christmas decorations. Christmas is over. Sigh.
I’m sure she’s very nice and very beautiful but I don’t think she’s my type. :P
That’s okay, Pookie, I don’t think you’re really her type, either. Wait, both your eyes point in the same direction, right? Yeah. Then no.
I’ll have to drop some hints about Blokus for next year. But I’ll have to be subtle, because I’m not sure my dad would go for a game if he thought we’d ever heard of it.
Those pictures in the Buffalo News are WAY too funny. What rock stars.
Are y’all watching any games tonight?
We’ve got the Ducks/Canucks game on right now. And yourself?
It’s just not the same without Matty O, eh? :D
Me, too!
(Sorry, got distracted. I’m starting a project of scanning all my slides and pictures. I have a lot of slides. I fancied myself quite the potential pro photographer at one time. :D )
Make ‘em keep it up, alix!
My picture is pretty blobby. Is Pie Hat one of the pretty ones?
Haha! Yeah Pie Hat is. He has the most gorgeous blue eyes ever. It almost looks like he wears eyeliner sometimes. He’s like 6′ 4″, dark hair. Personally I put Matty O, Nazzy, B-Mo, Bieksa ahead of Pie Hat, but he probably gets the most puck bunny votes out of all the guys.
Well, sure, I assumed Matty O and Nazzy would be higher-ranked.
I’ll have to check out Bieksa. I’ve only heard about him, don’t know what he looks like.
Did you see yesterday that Pronger got an own-goal? Hee hee! Went in off his chest into his own net.
So loathsome, that guy.
Hey! Broadcasters! There’s a game going on! Stop with the chit-chat.
Bieksa’s not insanely hot when you first glance at him, but he has this smirk that is soooo hott. And he’s built.
Hee! I didn’t hear that about Pronger. Awesome!
I hate when the broadcasters do that. Sure a little color chat is great, but when they totally miss how the teams get down the ice, and make a play, it pisses me off.
Wow, the Ducks have finally woken up a bit. Good thing Louie is sharp.
How in the world did the Canucks get two goals?? I thought Niedermayer was back.
*rolls eyes*
HAHA! No kidding, eh! I just thought that to myself (about Neider)
Oh my gosh, Louie! Get a penalty and then play out of your mind hehe.
Don’t tell Schnookie, but I don’t like that Getzlaf guy.
Damn. That was a hell of a pass. Stupid Neidermayer. (Although I am glad hottie Getzi got a goal; sorry, alix.)
Ewwww, gross! It just had to be set up by Neider too didn’t it.
Yeah, well, Getzlaf just told me he doesn’t think much of that Patty (in Dallas). He’s suspicious of names with parenthesis. They scare him.
Don’t tell Schnookie, but I don’t like that Getzlaf guy.
I’m standing right here! I can hear you!
Now I’m scared. My team loves to give up leads.
Sorry, Getzi meant “names with parentheses”. I just mistyped his response. He’s very smart and totally knows how to spell. I mean, look at him! He’s a brainiac!
Oh! Hey, there, Schnookie! Didn’t see you there.
And plus, I was just kidding!
If he’s that easily scared, that might be a problem.
I mean, look at him! He’s a brainiac!
Yeah, that’s the first thing that comes to mind. :D
And plus, I was just kidding!
Yeah, yeah. Sure you were. :P
Getzi’s emoticon would look like this:
:^E …”… ”
(Those are the black flies coming off his heinous, heinous teeth.)
(Those are the black flies coming off his heinous, heinous teeth.)
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Gosh, stop talking about the Neidermeyers! You’re a Canucks announcer!
Is it just me, or is Staffy a lot more comfortable in his body than Crunchy?
I’m going to have to second that after seeing the two of them on stage.
And stupid Pronger scoring on his own net. He’s not helping out Giggy and the Mother Puckers by doing that.
And stupid Pronger scoring on his own net. He’s not helping out Giggy and the Mother Puckers by doing that.
That’s what you get when you cast your lot with the likes of him. ;D
Amy, how was it?!? Tell all!
That’s what you get when you cast your lot with the likes of him.
Believe me, I’m glad I don’t have Pronger. But I do have Giggy.
I’m going to have to second that after seeing the two of them on stage.
Do tell! :D
Awwww, Pie Hat! Almost! That would have got you another bra.
That’s what you get when you cast your lot with the likes of him. ;D
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And seriously. I mean, the Marauders may have sour grape juice coming out of their gold-plated champagne showerheads, but at least we haven’t sold our souls. :P
Amy, how was it?!? Tell all!
I’m writing! I’m writing!
Believe me, I’m glad I don’t have Pronger. But I do have Giggy.
Oh, sorry. Good that you don’t have Pronger. It’s Giggy that shouldn’t have cast his lot with him.
Geez. This is the scariest last minute ever. Hopefully the Ducks time out will end up being the Edmontonesque worst time out ever.
HOORAY!!!!! I love my team :)
Amy, how was it?!? Tell all!
I’m writing! I’m writing!
Not fast enough! :)
Go! Alix’s team! Woo hoo!
Take that, stupid Ducks! :D (Sorry, Earl.)
Hee! I LOVE beating the Ducks! (sorry Earl)
Getzi was awesome, Schookie!
(Don’t ban me.)
Unless it’s for misspelling your name. I’d totally understand it for that. Sheesh.
I’m done writing now. :)
Getzi can’t spell my name right, so it doesn’t bother me. (And I don’t mean that he can’t spell Schnookie right. He can’t handle spelling Liz right. He’s… not too bright.)
Mmmmm, Staffy sounds delicious in your review, Amy! Who knew brain eating zombies could be so hott. It must be the guitar and stage presence.
He can’t handle spelling Liz right. He’s… not too bright
Hee hee.
Staffy does sound delicious! Now we just need him unconcussed and playing better!
Great review, Amy! I’m so glad you enjoyed the concert!
Boo, Matty O’s not coming on the trip to Calgary. I think I’ll have to join your pity party at the bar soon, Schnookie and Patty.
Mmmm… Staffy. (He also can’t spell Liz. As soon as he knows there’s a “Z” involved, he spells “Zach”.)
Mmmm… Staffy. (He also can’t spell Liz. As soon as he knows there’s a “Z” involved, he spells “Zach”.)
I smell brainwashing there.
Glad you all enjoyed the review!
I’m done for the night. I’m about to fall asleep here. G’night!
Good night, Amy! Sweet dreams of delicious Staffy!
‘Night, Amy! Sweet dreams of Staffy, and the fact that when he snores, it doesn’t sound like “Zzzzzz…” It sounds like “Zachzachzachzachzach…”