Well, here it is, perhaps the most challenging hockey engagement of the year to try to diarize – that’s right: All-Star Saturday! We’re staring down the barrel of the Young Stars game and the SuperSkills, two events that could be completely awesome, but are seriously undermined by the fact that there is a dearth of hot players on this year’s All-Star rosters. Oh, right, did we mention that when it comes to the SuperSkills we make like the event itself and toss all actual sense of “hockey” out the door? Yeah, we’ll be unabashed fangirls for this evening, and it should be stated for the record, we’re depressed fangirls because the pickings are slim. Thanks, ugly NHLers, for being the All-Stars this year.
– Our intro is uninspiring. Ovechkin? Lecavalier? Chara? Iginla? Nash? Lidstrom? These guys are not hott! (Pookie insists that Nash is highlighted as a player on the EC team, “because I refuse to believe that Columbus is in the west.”)
– Doc and Eddie lead things off by talking about their favorite events. Doc says fastest skater, and Eddie says “the target shooting”. We are in agreement that accuracy shooting is the sexiest event (Pookie: “You heard it here first.”) and hardest shot is the least sexy.
– We go to Chris in the dressing room with Lidstrom. Pookie, keeping a running tally: “Not hot. Oh! Getzi!” Getzi is, indeed visible in the background, pulling on his sweater and rocking his rapidly-expanding bald spot. We are strangely very attracted to the bald spot. VS then kicks us to the EC dressing room where we are interviewing the decidedly not-hot Ovechkin. However, the Getzi Of The East, Jason “Yayson” Spezza, is in the background in his stupid crushed-velvet camo underarmour shirt, looking flummoxed by the arrangement of the equipment in his stall. Okay, so that’s a look at two of the three IPB Official All-Star Hotties (Clarkson being the third). Has VS blown its wad here, or is this a sign of things to come?
– Fin, the Vancouver mascot, seems to be a one-trick pony. We see a shot of him doing his “putting his teeth around some kid’s head” thing. Seriously, Fin, does that still work where you come from? Because it’s really been done to death here.
– It’s official introduction time. We decide, since it’s like a hottie-less desert here, that Duncan Keith is kind of cute. But don’t quote us on that.
– Corey Perry makes Pookie recoil and hiss like a vampire confronted by sunlight.
– We had no idea Kopitar pronounced his name “Ahhhntsy”.
– All together now: “Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaason Arnott.”
– We’d like to go on record saying that while we think Rick Nash is adorable, we do not think he’s cute.
– The Kings mascot is visible behind the WC coaches on the bench, and Boomer asks, “Is that the Flames mascot?” We chastise her, “The Flames mascot is Harvey the Hound.” “That’s right,” she says. “I meant to ask if he was the Thrashers mascot. Because it made no sense to me that they’d have a lion.” No, it really doesn’t.
– As Gomez is introduced, Pookie snarls, “You can just see the slag-faced whorishness in his eyes there.”
– We get through the rest of the introductions without another surprise hottie. Really, Duncan Keith was the best the other All-Stars had to offer? This is pathetic. We’re expanding our definition of Official Hottie and including Joe Thornton and Eric “Hooters” Staal, just out of desperation.
– We spend our commercial break arguing whether we’d consider adding Vinny Lecavalier to the Official Hottie roster. Schnookie says yes, Pookie says no. Boomer, as the tie-break, says, “He’s okay. Yeah.” Then she adds, “I’m not as sold on Getzi as you guys are.” There is discord and strife within the walls of IPB Manor!
– We get an interview on the bench before the Obstacle Course with a slicked-back Pronger. Pookie suggests that if Sid were there tonight, Chris Simpson wouldn’t be wearing that turtleneck.
– Doc gives us an explanation of the obstacle course, and we’re disappointed it’s not an agility-dog trial obstacle course. Pookie: “I feel like the biggest obstacle on this one is the hockey players’ brains.” (We think it’s funny they’ve brought back the “goalies shooting” thing after it was such a disaster a few years ago.)
– The obstacle course starts, and we have no idea what’s going on because the camera work is so terrible. First we see whichever Sedin it is, and then there’s a bad edit to a dimly lit Thornton doing the saucer passing, then we’re staring at Pronger’s ass as he blocks our view of the target he’s shooting at, and then Osgood’s shooting the length of the ice and we’re still wondering if they’ve started yet.
– We like the EC’s run on the obstacle course more than the WC’s because Yayson looked foxy doing his puck slalom. And because we knew how to pay attention to it.
– Pookie: “I think this obstacle course needs to be longer. And more agility-dog-ish.”
– What the? Okay, they’re doing this twice. We can’t watch the WC because Corey Perry’s involved.
– Oh! A Yayson interview! He seems underwhelmed by the obstacle course.
– Malkin proves why he wasn’t originally included on the roster by totally shanking the puck slalom. Pookie: “I would love to see them have to do that the length of the rink.”
– Pretty Ricky (not hott) nails two of his three shots, and VS tries to talk to him on his mic. He can’t hear them. It’s scintillating television.
– We go to commercial unsure of who’s winning, and with our audio cutting out while Kovalchuk pops up with a prerecorded message about what event is coming up next. Versus seems to have been taken by surprise that they were broadcasting this tonight.
– We like the new fastest-skater set-up (or, as we just typed it, “fattest skater” – Nash wins!), since we won’t have to worry that the players are going to kill themselves wiping out in the corners. VS tells us “Stawn Horcoff” is competing for the WC.
– Quasi-hottie Duncan Keith makes our evening by smoking Soupy, but the timers decide to declare Soupy the winner, adding at least $2 million per year to his asking price. Doc tries to tell us that there’s a way that physics would allow for someone to cross the finish line well before their opponent, but still have a slower time. Doc. Please. Just tell us the timers screwed up.
– We are thoroughly confused, as Horcoff and Kovalchuk step up to the line as the fastest guys from their conferences after the three preliminary fattest-skater rounds, but then suddenly Kovalchuk steps down and Soupy steps up. Boomer: “This is like they’re doing this in someone’s backyard.” Soupy gets smoked for a second time.
– We get a prerecorded message from Vinny (kinda hott) telling us to stay tuned to VS. Boomer: “Only because there’s nothing else on.”
– A look at Arnott on the bench prompts us to discuss how his hair looks like a cross between Chico Resch’s rug and an animal pelt.
– Pookie: “Hey look! There’s a Devils representative!” She’s talking about the NHL 2K8 graphics to illustrate the Elimination Shootout. Sigh.
– Because the shootout is the most exciting thing in hockey (or so we’re told as a way to justify why they do it instead of having regular-season ties), they’ve shrunk its footprint at the ASG now, so they’re just going in two-shooter sets. It seems VS has never filmed a shootout before, because they’re using their “seasick cam” to swoop around behind the shooters.
– Vinny loses his half-hottie point when he tries 8 billion moves on his shootout attempt and ends up not even shooting.
– Ribiero is in the second group of shooters, and we are in agreement that he looks just like Clifton Collins, Jr. We launch into a litany of lines from “Tigerland”, as we exhort Ribbons not to let his meat loaf.
– Doc tries to talk to Pretty Ricky after he stops Ribbons. Pretty Ricky doesn’t respond. Doc: “We’re having technical difficulties…” Schnookie: “No kidding.”
– Pookie is horrified that her EC bias is so strong that she’s doing the unthinkable and cheering for Pretty Ricky. Schnookie: “If he weren’t Pretty Ricky, I’d like him.” Pookie: “Yeah, well, if Corey Perry weren’t Corey Perry I’d still hate him.”
– VS finally figures out how to make Pretty Ricky’s mic work. The only scintillating moment of note in his input is that he uses the word “festivities” in describing the event. It sounds just like Fat Tony from The Simpsons. Not that we’re saying anything about Italian-Americans.
– Yayson is adorably impressed by Kimmo Timonen’s shot. Thanks for showing us his wide-eyed, frowny-face nod of approval in HD slo-mo, there, VS. (And yes, it’s only fair to point out when Versus does something right.)
– This stupid Elimination Shooter event has contrived a way for us to have to see extra Gomez. (And yes, it’s only fair to point out when the NHL does something horribly wrong.)
– There is a long delay before Malkin shoots on Manny Legace. Silence falls on stately IPB Manor. Pookie: “Can you guys feel the excitement?” (Legace is allegedly wearing a mic, but as with Pretty Ricky, he doesn’t respond when Doc tries to talk to him.)
– After Legacy stops Timonen, there is some celebration on the ice for the WC winning this part of the festivities, and we hear Legace bark, “My groins are done!” Pookie: “That was the highlight of the night.” Legace then gets interviewed by Chris Simpson, and Pookie, demonstrating how awful this is, says, “He’s cute as a button!” NHL hotties, if you are reading this – send help!
– We go to commercial, and Boomer grumbles, “There’s just something about this presentation that’s making this so unscintillating.”
– It’s Young Stars time! They introduce themselves, and to a man, could not be more adorkable. Except for Clarkson (hott!), who introduces himself as “Dullard Dullardson, New Jersey Dullards.” Or maybe it just seemed that way to us. We give the win to Happy Meals, who gleefully proclaims himself a member of the “DALLAS STARS!!!” Oh, and Pat Kane introduces himself as “Pete Kane.” We guess we’ve been mispronouncing that all this time.
– The Young Stars boringly warm up, and a shot of the vacated bench prompts Pookie to shout, “Corey Perry is such a twerp that he’s staying out for the Young Stars game???” Boomer: “I think they wouldn’t let him in. The other guys locked him out.”
– We get an interview with Lucic at the bench. He looks like he’s wearing a fake nose.
– We then kick to an interview with Sam Gagne and a man Chris Simpson calls “Patrick Kane”. That’s Pete to you, Chris. Pete also refers to the event tonight as “festivities”. Pookie: “What, did they get talking points?”
– WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, sorry, it’s just habit. Clarkson gets a breakaway and calmly beats Osgood. Doc tells us he’s a new uncle, too. Awww. More Devils! More Devils! (We really hope Clarkson can pull a Zach and win the plastic star by being the only guy to bring sound fundamentals and strong defensive play to the Young Stars game.)
– Clarkson gets interviewed on the bench, and is the dullard we all know and love. He talks over one of his teammates scoring. Dullardly.
– This is a travesty! We get an interview with Getzi on the bench, and it’s just in the mini-screen. And then it’s cut short when Chris decides to talk to Corey Perry instead. Pookie: “That had better not be our only Getzi interview tonight! Motherfucking Jack Johnson was standing in front of him for half of it, and Chris Simpson was in front of him for the rest of it.”
– Marc Staal scores and gives a Rangers stick salute. Pookie snarls, “He just gave a motherfucking stick salute. Jackass.” Pause. “I think this game is finally hitting my wheelhouse.” Perhaps she meant to say “Motherfucking wheelhouse”.
– The Thrashers fans start an “Osgood” chant with the “You suck!” added on the end. Wha?
– The score at the half of the Young Stars game is something like 500-450. We’re not paying attention.
– Legace makes a good poke check, then waves his glove helplessly at the follow-up. He then says into his mic, “Did you see that poke check?” Hee! Legace then promises that, if need be, he’ll charge up the ice and play like Holmstrom in the waning moments of the game. He then says that he’d love to see OT go to 3-on-3 in regular season games, “So you don’t lose on a superskills competition.” Then, in stride, he gloves a Clarkson shot, scurries up the slot, flops on his belly, and shovels the puck up to Pete Kane for a breakaway. Legace is pulling a Turco, big style.
– Legace shouts, “There goes Peter again!” as Kane rushes up the ice. Pookie: “I’m hoping this is an All-Star conspiracy calling Pat Kate ‘Pete’ the way we call Mirtle ‘Martle’.”
– Legace makes a stop on a wild little three-man drop-passing sequence and then exults, “There’s another Marty Brodeur save!” Oh, stop it Manny! Schnookie is now ready to agree with Pookie that he’s cute as a button.
– Chris Simpson tries to do a “Chico Eats!” feature. You, sir, are no Chico Resch.
– A look at the dressing room shows Ribs looks bored. And his kids look just like him. Meanwhile, in the other room, Yayson looks like he’s waiting for the camera to not be on him.
– Yay! It’s accuracy shooting time! Doc tells us this is the event (festivity?) that inspires the most drama, and to underscore that point, the NHL 2K8 graphics demonstrating how it works is all Devils. And Gionta shooting. Christ. We’d be sitting here all night if we had to wait for Gio to hit all four targets. He’d probably just go offsides anyway.
– We see Getzi talking with Legace on the sidelines, and Pookie posits that he’s growing his bald spot to spell IPB.
– Arnott goes 4-for-7, but also scores this response from Pookie: “*SNORT*” Pause. “Ow. That hurt.” Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaason Arnott, ladies and gentlemen.
– Kaberle manages the sexiest thing in all of hockey: going 4-for-4, and Doc and Eddie aren’t even paying attention. It’s Kaberle, so we understand their talking about anything else.
– Doc clearly hopes that Lidstrom will go perfect, too, so he can make up for missing a call for the ages. Lidstrom does not comply.
– Hooters is 4-for-6, and we’re impressed at how much better everyone is doing than they have in recent years. We also think Hooters is veelalicious.
– Not veelalicious? Nieder. He delights us by sucking. He also delights us by prompting VS to show us Getzi chatting with him as he skates to the sidelines. Getzi’s sparkling blue eyes are sparkling and blue enough to make us overlook his robot herpes outbreak.
– We get a look at Anze Koptar (pronounced “Aahnsty ‘Pete’ Kopitash”) on the sidelines, and Schnookie says, “I can’t believe Mrs. Pando is an All-Star.”
– Doc tells us to listen for the crowd reaction to Hossa. We do. They make no noise. Pookie: “Watch he doesn’t hit anything, and the crowd doesn’t do anything.” He goes 4-for-7, and Pookie play-by-plays, “And the crowd goes… politely applauding.”
– In the final round, Kaberle goes 3-for-4, and it is palpably disappointing that he doesn’t run the table. They should turn the SuperSkills into all accuracy shooting, all the time. The festivity is tied after the extra round, and Arnott and Kaberle have to go to single-shot elimination, which is, needless to say, awesome. Schnookie: “They should replace the regular-season shootout with this.” Kaberle wins it, and the EC bench goes wild. Seriously, the other guys get so much more into the accuracy shooting than anything else. And really, if the NHL is willing to decide points in the standings with a superskills contest, why not do it with the coolest superskill contest?
– We go to commercial break with a prerecorded, “I’m Chris Pronger of the Anaheim Ducks—” that gets cut off by the mute button and Pookie snapping, “And I’m Pookie of the Shut The Fuck Up.”
– We see Pronger at the sidelines before the hardest shot contest. His hair is still slicked-back, and there are droplets all over his face. Why is he all wet? What the hell?
– As we wait for the festivity to start, we see Arnott standing there staring into space underneath his pelty hair. Pookie: “I just can’t get over how comical he looks!”
– Pretty Ricky is talking to us during this festivity (after Don Waddell told us that Pretty Ricky has a way of “showing himself” to you. Is he suggesting Pretty Ricky is a flasher?) and says it’s an “urban myth” that goalie pads make hard shots not hurt. “It really, really, really, really, really hurts,” he says.
– We are having an impossible time trying to figure out what we’re hearing on the TV right now. Pookie keeps asking, “Did he just say [blank]?” and Boomer and Schnookie have to say, “I don’t know!” So far she’s asked if someone said “football sucks” and whether Phaneuf, after sucking on his first shot, said, “But I have a big dick.”
– After Pronger manages not to come close to his current speed-to-beat, Vinny gives this arrogant little roll of his eyes. Pookie finally admits that he is, indeed, bringing the hott.
– Zdeno Chara bests Vinny with a harder shot, but Vinny remains the winner here, because nothing will ever make us think Charbacca is hott.
– Okay, here it is, the glam event: Breakaway Challenge. Pookie: “This has potential to be the biggest disaster since last year’s Young Stars game.”
– Pookie didn’t do any reading about this event ahead of time, and nearly sprains something when she cracks up at the announcement of Dominique Wilkins as a judge. “What,” she splutters, “Was BJ Armstrong not available?” Pause. “Oh right. He used to be a Hawk.”
– Datsyuk may or may not have done something interesting on his first attempt, but we’ll never know because VS went with a camera that followed directly behind him on the ice. He gets very low scores. He beats Vokoun on his second attempt, but doesn’t do anything very innovative (Eddie murmurs, “I’ve seen that move in shootouts,” and Pookie snaps, “In boring shootouts!”), and Mellanby only gives him a 4. Harshness, they name is Scott Mellanby.
– AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! St. Louis does this move where… he… well, how to describe it? He skates to the high slot and just stands there until Nabokov walks up to him and takes the puck away. Pookie, through her screams of laughter: “I’m embarrassed to be alive right now!”
– After St. Louis tries his stupid caboose-first move and gets easily stripped by Nabokov again, Pretty Ricky pipes up that Kovalchuk should try lighting himself on fire for his attempt.
– Getzi spares us from wanting to light ourselves on fire by at least managing to do some fancy puck-handling moves, despite not being able to beat Thomas.
– Kovalchuk, despite the crowd urging him with a “KOVY! KOVY!” chant, is bested by Legace on a totally routine shot. Legace then tells Doc and Eddie that he thinks he’s supposed to let Kovalchuk score. He giggles then as he stones Kovalchuk’s second attempt (from his knees), and Pookie is outraged that Kovalchuk scores higher than Getzi did. “This is horseshit!” she screams.
– Pretty Ricky asks Doc and Eddie to tell him how he managed to stop Gaborik’s between-the-legs first attempt, and then says, as Gaborik goes to center ice for his second attempt, “Uh oh, he’s building up speed. I’m going to have to go and take his legs out.” Gaborik does a wraparound move, and Pretty Ricky says, “Oh my god, I just blew my whole leg out.” As one of the judges is addressing the entire arena, Pretty Ricky’s VS mic picks him up saying, “I just fucked my hip up again.” As the festivity progresses, Boomer says dryly, “I notice no one on VS is touching that.”
– Ovie scores mundanely on his first shot, then tries a “bouncing the puck in the air at waist height then batting it into the net” play that would have been way more impressive if he’d managed not to whiff on the final shot, but still scores high with the judges.
– Getzi gets to go again and tries to go all lacrossey. He loses the puck, but still gets a high score from everyone but the FNL guy. He gets 10s in our hearts, though.
– Ovie goes again and does his bat-bat-bat in the air thing, but this time he flips the puck high and spins around. He also whiffs on the final shot, but hey. It was fun.
– Getzi goes again and he doesn’t have anything fancy, instead trying to just score. Thomas stones him, and Getzi goes to hide amongst his teammates, burning with shame and robot herpes.
– Ovie also tries to go for the sure goal on his last shot, and also doesn’t score, but he gets more points, and we have absolutely no idea what’s going on. We’d be lying if we said we didn’t enjoy this festivity, though. Especially the “I just fucked my hip up again” part.
– We come back from commercial, and suddenly we’re talking about rodeos with some guy in Albany. Oh, VS. How we love thee so.
– Well, these festivities seemed to have proved once and for all something we’ve suspected for years: the Eastern Conference is way superior to the Western Conference, winning by a count of 9-6. That’s right: the East is three better than the West. Three what, we don’t know. But the numbers don’t lie.
Wow, that was the most subdued I’ve ever seen Ovechkin. Not sure I like it.
Wow, that was the most subdued I’ve ever seen Ovechkin. Not sure I like it.
I know; I’m seriously disturbed, Heather.
I only had eyes for Jason “Yaaaaayson!” Spezza in the background. But now that I’m looking back and trying to remember… yes, he was subdued! Where’s the zany exchange student we know and love! That guy wasn’t going to go knocking on royal graves saying “Wake up, asshole!” Sheesh. See? The contract ruined him already.
Ok, I know a lot of people on here haaaate the Wings (I am neutral), but Nick Lidstrom is wicked hot, IMO. Apologies and all that. :)
Ovechkin is just sad because his buddy, Sidney Crosby, isn’t there.
mara, I wouldn’t disagree with that. Nick’s handsome enough and I really like him.
Oh good, at least I’m not alone.
Arnott has weird hair these days. He looks like one of the Monkeys.
This is kind of cool because I wouldn’t recognize half the WC guys if I ran into them on the street. Pavel Datsyk? No clue what that dude looked like.
Jooooooooe!
I pretty much like everything about Nick Lidstrom including his looks, Mara.
Man, Pronger looks like the type of guy they always cast in those Lifetime movie-of-the-weeks who’s a drunk wife abuser.
Also, did I hear boos for Niedermeyer?
Horcoff and Kopitar and Perry could walk up to me and say hi and I wouldn’t know who they were.
You know what? Rick Nash looks a little bit like my little brother. I think maybe that’s why I like him.
BOooooooooo!
I heard Boos for Pronger! And even Vinny….I think St. Louis too. Most be a southeast thing.
I hope you fall down in the fastest man, Soupy!
Stupid question: when is the young stars game? I didn’t miss it, did I?
Haha it’s in the middle of the Skills competition. It’s like the 5th event in.
I must be living under a rock because Marc Savard does not look like what I thought he looked like. As in, he’s REALLY good looking.
Pookie, I think it’s part of the events tonight. Right?
I hope you fall down in the fastest man, Soupy!
He looks so ridiculously proud of himself.
When IS the Young Stars game? And look there, Heather! Joe’s on just for you!
I hope you fall down in the fastest man, Soupy!
Man, Heather, when you turn against a guy you turn against a guy.
As in, he’s REALLY good looking.
Really, really, ridiculously good looking!
/Zoolander
Heather, I was really hoping Soupy would do a spin-a-rama going to his starting line-up spot.
These commercials need to stop because I can only watch until 9. I’m going to miss SO MUCH you guys.
Heather, I was really hoping Soupy would do a spin-a-rama going to his starting line-up spot.
Hee! That would’ve been funny. I might’ve actually liked him for that.
Meg, it’s his own fault. I’m pretty tired of hearing, “He’s an ALL-STAR and we’re going to LOSE HIM!” for irate, panicky fans.
I must be living under a rock because Marc Savard does not look like what I thought he looked like. As in, he’s REALLY good looking.
I’ve been saying that all day!! :P
I have thought so for a long time, but he’s looking particularly pretty lately. I think it’s because he’s toned down the soul patch. Not to be too puckbunny-ish, but he’s got a nice mouth.
Well, not really REALLY ridiculously good looking. Maybe hyperbola good-looking since parabola good looking is reserved for Clarkson
Sherry: Yeah, Savard is a cutie, he sort of hides in Boston.
I think all of the southeast guys got boos when they came out, heh.
Soupy looked like a dumbass. I do hate the Wings, but I can’t hate Nick Lidstrom. He’s too good, and he seems really classy.
I like how these “computer generated displays” informing us exactly what’s going on in the super skills portion are from NHL 08.
Howdy and hello folks! How we all doing tonight?
I love the video game demos. Very helpful.
And the “saucer” pass… I used to think they meant something different but I think they mean like a Frisbee. Am I right, Canadain (Ir)Regulars?
If this were a real relay, they should have to keep shooting, passing etc. until they do it instead of just having to do four shots etc.
We’re doing great! Methinks the NHL was expecting Marty to be doing this event rather than Tim Thomas…
Okay, they could NOT make this relay any more complicated.
Tim Thomas is hilarious when he tries to score. Heather B., if it makes you feel any better, Soupy has no confidence about his skating fast-ness abilities.
Let’s hope someone was supposed to do it besides Thomas because that was pretty ugly.
Yeah…. although for the West, it’s pro bably better Luongo didn’t have to do this :D
(i like how my online feed just suddenly started working…)
Is Versus doing a good job? That feed wouldn’t work for me, so i’m stuck watching CBC online..
hahaha i like how all the commentators think DiP will be able to do it best.
but wow, Datysuk!
Spezza, I don’t mean to alarm you but there’s a large tiger right behind you!
Is Versus doing a good job?
Doc sounds kinda bored, but not bad.
Let’s hope someone was supposed to do it besides Thomas because that was pretty ugly.
Thomas was all like, “Fuck this shit!” before he even ever started.
Stupid DiPietro. Go, Malkin! Oh, god, they’ve mic’ed up DiPietro?!?! NO! Luckily for us, the mic’s cutting out.
Vinny, I actually usually prefer CBC’s coverage as far as quality. I’m only watching Versus because that’s what everyone else is watching. Plus I like the mic’d players even though DP’s evidently isn’t working.
i hate how CBC doesn’t do the mic’ed up thing.
is there a Versus online feed (from Versus?)
hahaha i like how all the commentators think DiP will be able to do it best.
They were right, weren’t they?
Kovalchuk looked thrilled to be doing that promo. And they showed Soupy skating off and Ovechkin next to him looking up, as if to say, “I have to play with this joker? The things I do for hockey.”
Hey, Versus, look at that hobo!
*psst* Vinny, no, Versus is not doing a good job! The camera angles are ridonkulously awful.
Hey, Versus! Can I have my magnet board now?
is there a Versus online feed (from Versus?)
Nope. Oh, and the camera work sucks, but is it just because they’re trying to follow 8 guys at once?
Spezza, I don’t mean to alarm you but there’s a large tiger right behind you!
That will never not be funny. Never.
Pookie! :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;
I’m live-blogging the CBC feed so I sent anybody wanting the Versus live-blog here :P
Okay, I loved Nabby’s expression after he didn’t score haha.
Somewhere Ryan Miller was watching DP do that and thinking, “Hey, that looks like fun! I’ll bet I can do that too!”
That will never not be funny. Never.
While I find it ridiculously hilarious, I have no idea where it came from! Does somoene mind clueing me in?
I don’t like Kovalchuk, but how much do I love how happy he is about this game!
“Yeah…. although for the West, it’s pro bably better Luongo didn’t have to do this :D”
HEY! Just what are you implying? :p
I like the CBC coverage overall, but I do wish they would get on the mic’d up train.
I was just going to say, the camera work is terrible so far. It’s just another example of how they never try anything before they put it into production!
They could have brought some minor-leaguers in to block it out. But they probably did it in NHL 08 and then just signed off on the plan.
That was the most ridiculously complicated drill I have ever seen. It’s a good thing each guy only had one part because they NEVER would have figured it out otherwise.
I think it might have looked cool in person when you could see the whole rink, but these camera angles are hopeless.
Awwww, I liked the full lap. The corners was usually where guys got screwed up. Soupy’s never gonna fall now! :-D
Now it has switched from soccer to football on the TV. Gross. I’m gonna need some serious updates.
HAHAAAHHAHAHAHH SOUPY!
I have never heard of Duncan Keith.
Of course, I’m not sure I could name a single Blackhawk.
wow. keith. =/
Is it just me, or is St. Louis looking extra tiny tonight?
This is when I miss my parent’s couch. They have every TV channel known to man, and enough TVs that everyone can watch what they want. School sucks.
St. Louis looks like such a little elf.
That will never not be funny. Never.
I know!
Patty, when Heather and I were at the Toronto-Buffalo game as part of IPB’s Road Trip, there was this crazy drunk guy behind us who leaned over whenever Sabretooth came anyway near us and said, “There’s a tiger right over there!” Like it was goign to freak us out or something. It was really odd but hilariously funny.
How did Soupy win that when he finished behind that guy? The NHL is screwing with me.
Soupy was talking earlier about how he is no good on the straightaway.
aw. poor kovalchuck. lost by half a stick.
I’m wondering if they’re timing between the two blue lines or something, so it’s a running start.
For real games, they stand St. Louis on a box.
Was there a staggered start?
The timers are screwy again this year.
Heather B., I think it’s because he got the fastest time on the East.
very screwy. =/
I’m so confused.
And just like normal, Soupy coasts into the zone…
Oh man, I just saw the part where they ask Niskanen about his new car “I can’t believe anyone would do this for me. I’m the new guy…”and he trails off uncertainly.
I’m wondering if they’re timing between the two blue lines or something, so it’s a running start.
Yes, that’s it.
Maybe that just took $50,000 off Soupy’s asking price?
Oh, and Sherry, I’m looking forward to reading your CBC live-blog after the event!
Oh look, it’s another Sidbits commercial they’re going to play a million times. At least he doesn’t speak in this one.
The last one was best time from East, vs. best time from West, although I still would have thought that was Kovalchuk. (Who is lookin’ good!)
Heather B., I think it’s because he got the fastest time on the East.
Oh, I got that. I’m still trying to figure out how he won his heat when he finished behind the guy from the west. It looked like they were starting in the same place. I’m so confused. The video game guys didn’t explain this part!
And why is Gary Bettman on his Blackberry? Shouldn’t he at least feign interest in this major PR event?
Pookie, I think you’ll see a lot of what I say here will end up over there :P
Where’d you see Nisky, Kirsten?
Am I the only one that really misses the circle-the-rink fastest skater comp? At least the starts made sense. This sprint start that only times part of the run just sucks.
And why is Gary Bettman on his Blackberry? Shouldn’t he at least feign interest in this major PR event?
You would think, but I somehow get the impression that Gary Bettman isn’t the best PR person ever…
Patty (in Dallas)- one of my friends sent me a link.
Am I the only one that really misses the circle-the-rink fastest skater comp? At least the starts made sense. This sprint start that only times part of the run just sucks.
I totally miss the lap. And I still don’t get the sprint start. What’s the point of that? They shouldn’t get a running start! The guy who can go fastest quickest should win!
Howdy, folks! I take it I haven’t missed much yet?
On the topic of the CG graphics/examples: They look MUCH better in HD. On a standard def screen they suck completely. On HD they just suck a little.
The full rink lap is the best. Acceleration is a big part of speed, you only get one or two steps in real life, if that.
Whore cough is a great skater! Haha. Soupy fails.
So CBC was all like “We eavesdropped on these two players” And I got all excited. Phaneuf and Iginla? Ewwww. Last players I would want to eavesdrop on.
My god, that’s the crappiest angle on a shootout EVER. Can’t even see the nice dekes. =(
This moving camera on the shootout blows. It blows!
Okay no seriously, what the heck is Hossa doing?
Eyy…that was a weak shot, Nash. :(
and what was that, Hossa…
(but phaneuf had a nice one :D)
Is it supposed to be this dark in the arena?
SCOTTY GOMEZ IS A TRAITOROUS DOUCHE!!
Sorry, had to get that out of my system.
Ribbons, don’t wait too long! You always wait too long!
how good is gomez?
Ex-nay Vinny! Ex-nay!
Not good at all, Vinny. Not good at all.
Matt, tell us how you really feel!
Gomez has quite the bald spot.
well. results say otherwise. :(
but i mean, guys could learn from ‘keeping it simple’ =/
Nash was doing his Vanek impression.
CBC is using the same weird moving-behind-the-shooter angle on the original shot. What the hell? I can’t see the guy’s stick!
nice saave 0.0 almost scored.
What the hell? I can’t see the guy’s stick!
Oh stop pretending. We all know that you’re just checking out their asses anyway. =)
HAHA PERRY MISSED
it was a nice move though :0
Of course Phaneuf had to score! Do they want me to hate All star weekend?
Why would they have Lidstrom do the shootout?
Tell you all how I really feel about Gomez? I would, but I don’t have a camera and the sequence of gestures and sychronized movements just cannot be explained in words.
Oh stop pretending. We all know that you’re just checking out their asses anyway. =)
I’m sure there’s a joke in here somewhere about seeing guy’s sticks but I can’t quite undig it.
I don’t want to go outside in the rain to get food.
I’m sure there’s a joke in here somewhere about seeing guy’s sticks but I can’t quite undig it.
I tried it too, but just couldn’t connect with it.
*sigh*
Eat shit, Perry!
Hey, Emerick, I’d like to point out that Sergei Zubov? Always goes in the shootout. Phaneuf, hmph.
Thomas is break-dancing on the ice! ON THE ICE!
Tomas does a headspin to win the dance-off!
So true, Matt, so true. Although, really to be honest? We’re better off without him and I he’s really out of sight, out of mind.
Tim Thomas’s break-dancing in the crease is definitely the most interesting thing we’ve seen so far.
I’m sure there’s a joke in here somewhere about seeing guy’s sticks but I can’t quite undig it.
Stick, five hole, crease. All the elements are there. Somewhere in this room is our joke writing talent.
HEE! That was funny. Thomas is a gangsta.
oh man. that’s an ASG moment right there. bboy on ice.
Caitlin, I’m sure Edzo feels that defensemen only go in the shootout if they’re in the coach’s doghouse. :D
“Oh fuck! The groins are done!”
The disease is spreading!!! Where’s Katebits and her anti-groin-injury telethon?
Young Stars game. Someone wake me up when it’s over.
Stick, five hole, crease. All the elements are there. Somewhere in this room is our joke writing talent.
That’s how mind-numbing this event is. I know the talent we have here in this thread is capable of hitting that out of the park but we’re all like “Nah…. I got nothin’.”
Awww, but Alex Edler’s in it! It’s supposed to be better this year.
Eeeeee! The Jonas Brothers! Oh, I mean, who the hell are the Jonas Brothers?! Gross!
New Interpretation of Phaneuf’s comment!
“Oh fuck, the groins are done!”
Maybe he uses “groins” as a derogatory term for goalie? That’s awesome!
Example: Crunchy, you’re such a groin…
Maybe he means Marian Gaborik?
Dubi!!!! Love that kid
CLARKSON SIGHTING!
Okay, who was that St. Louis guy with the crazy eyes?
Did Pat Kane introduce himself as Pete Kane?
Patty, we heard that too! Pat’s working undercover tonight!
P. Kane, maybe?
Johnson maybe for the Blues. I’ve heard stories about him.
Nope, he definitely said Pete
Okay, it’s actually David Perron. CRAZY EYES.
Marc Savard sighting! Not only is he better looking than I thought, he’s younger looking than I thought.
Since I’m already on the superficial train, Alex Edler? Very nice.
What is running through Clarkson’s head right now?
(I wonder if I can get any of these guys to fight me…)
HAHA! Clarkson sees so much older than all those man boys. Awwww, Alex Edler! Such a cute little button. Did Pat Kane introduce himself as P Kane? If so, awesome.
Wow that man has an enourmous Schnozz
He said Pete. No question about it. I will now refuse to call him anyone other than Pete.
P. Kane, maybe?
That’s what I heard.
Wow, Alyssa Milano is looking very trashy tonight.
“Since I’m already on the superficial train, Alex Edler? Very nice.”
I know,eh?
What is running through Clarkson’s head right now?
[Meow Mix jingle]
No, I don’t think Crazy Eyes was Johnson. Is there another Blue? I don’t know, I’m too lazy to check.
Awwww, Alex Edler! Such a cute little button.
He totally is, Alix.
WOOOOOOOOOOO CLARKSON!!!
wow. Alyssa Milano. I wonder who she’s checking out?
Clarkson scores!
wow. Clarkson sighting 0.o
Wow, sorry. Way behind on that one.
What is running through Clarkson’s head right now?
[Meow Mix jingle]
I laughed so hard I just swallowed my jaw breaker.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
P. Kane, maybe?
P. ete Kane, maybe.
I wonder who she’s checking out?
hopefully nobody in THIS game. I’d lock up Clarkson if you were you guys.
Yup, definitely the Meow Mix jingle.
Pete scores!
P. ete Kane, maybe.
Hee. Reminds me of when I wrote an entire philosophy paper featuring a guy named Ari S. Totle.
wow. Alyssa Milano. I wonder who she’s checking out?
According to NHL.com, she’s a “celebrity blogger” for the event.
Dear Patrick Kane,
In five years, please remember that Buffalo loves you and you always dreamed of playing for the Sabres.
Love,
Heather
Ari S. Totle.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I have never hated a goal horn so much in my life.
His name is already in our rafters, Heather. How can he refuse us?!
Wow, I can’t imagine why Marty Brodeur didn’t want to take part in this event!
Dear Sid Crosby,
In six years, please remember that you’ve always loved New Jersey and have always dreamed of playing for the Devils.
Love,
Pookie
Wow, a great hockey crowd! They’re heckling the goalies at the young stars game. Also, what got into Tomas? What’s with all the wiggling? Elaborate prank by the western goalies ending with Icy\Hot in his jock?
wow. blowout or what 0.0? or just ridiculously high scoring?
Or maybe they want to invest in more defence?
His name is already in our rafters, Heather. How can he refuse us?!
Exactly. It’s a given.
Heather B.-he’s afraid of damaging his oh so fragile ego.
so who’s scored so far?
Kane, Mueller, Clarkson …..?
Oh, hey, Manny is chatting with us. I like him.
I would feel sorry for Osgood, but I hope it breaks him and he drags down the Wings for the rest of the season. :D
Today is Chris Chelios’ birthday.
Boy, Pete’s a pretty good player!
Today is Chris Chelios’ birthday.
What, he’s 3,000th! HAHAHAHAHA!! I’m so funny.
I’m falling in love with Marc Savard. He just did the most adorable incompetent play-by-play call ever.
Did Manny just call him Peter? What’s going on? I need to understand this.
Savard is a Raccoon, you know. I always knew he was cute. :D
Manny totally called him Peter. There has to be some explanation.
Anyone else catch Legace’s comment on being behind?
“I’m gonna rush HIS crease and plant my self right in front”
That’s hysterical. Reminds me a lot of Marty Turco last year
I want an Eddie money goal!
Yeah, Legace’s been great.
What, he’s 3,000th! HAHAHAHAHA!! I’m so funny.
Well, its true!
Heather B.-he’s afraid of damaging his oh so fragile ego.
Hee! I don’t know, his ego seems pretty sturdy to me. That said, I have no problem believing that this game is totally beneath him. (It is.)
How fun! This is fun!
I would think 3,000 is a conservative estimate.
I like Legace advocating 3-on-3 over the shootout. I’d like that too, Manny!
Can you imagine Crunchy mic’d up during a game, even an exhibition one? “God, would you SHUT UP?! I’m trying to FOCUS!”
Peter Pan, maybe? Because he’s young? I don’t know, but I WILL find out!
Manny Legace for President!
Boo. Good try West. Savard is awesome! That was a funny play by play. And he was saying nice things about Lucic (he used to play for my cousin’s junior team)
That was not so bad. They knew there wouldn’t be any defense so they just accepted it. I liked it. Sue me.
HAHA, Elliotte is speaking extra slowly to Kris Letang cause Kris’ English ain’t so good. He also just asked him the same question three times (something about how the Pens sewed up the sleeves and pant legs of his suit so he missed his flight home?)
“God, would you SHUT UP?! I’m trying to FOCUS!”
Honk! Honk! Honk!
Goose……shut…..up. I will kill you in your sleep…..
Elliotte from CBC Elliotte? (I’m not sure how to spell his last name, but you know who I mean) Shanny made fun of him on After Hours hard core.
Can you imagine Crunchy mic’d up during a game, even an exhibition one? “God, would you SHUT UP?! I’m trying to FOCUS!”
I’d love to hear mic’d up Crunchy. “Must stop puck. What is this? Where’s the defense? Soupy, stop laughing at me. I’d like to see you out here doing this.”
Haha yes Elliotte Friedman!
Peter Pan, maybe? Because he’s young? I don’t know, but I WILL find out!
I figured it out! Patrick Kane is tied up in a janitor’s closet somewhere in Phillips Arena, with ropes tied in turtle-sized knots. That was Zach in Kane’s sweater. He knew he was supposed to announce himself as Kane but he only knew Kane’s first initial. “I say, Boxworthy, what’s my name again? Phillip? Percy? Pete? Pete! I’m Pete Kane.”
Not only does that explain the Pat/Pete thing, it also explains why Kane was skating with a fake mustache.
Is Raj Binder on the CBC side? I thought he was funny last year.
I liked it. Sue me.
I liked it too, Patty.
Elliotte Friedman seems rather incompetant to me at all times.
Raj Binder and his Joe Sakic interview. He made Cassie Campbell uncomfortable, but the best was Sidney Crosby. He was horribly awkward.
Did you see the little mini-Ribeiro? So cute!
I liked it, three.
Raj Binder was on CBC! He’s a creation of comedian Shawn Majumder but he moved to LA when Hollywood came calling so I don’t think we’ll be seeing Raj anymore.
I LOVED how Sid wanted to do that Raj Binder interview, but all his handlers were freaking out in the background. Cracked me up.
Damn. Seeing Sidney Crosby get really embarassed is priceless.
That was Zach in Kane’s sweater. He knew he was supposed to announce himself as Kane but he only knew Kane’s first initial. “I say, Boxworthy, what’s my name again? Phillip? Percy? Pete? Pete! I’m Pete Kane.”
And somehow he managed to convince Manny Legace that the Blackhawks and NHL have had his name wrong all season. Awesome!
Awww, I could watch Jarome Iginla smile all night.
Raj Binder and his Joe Sakic interview. He made Cassie Campbell uncomfortable, but the best was Sidney Crosby. He was horribly awkward.
That interview with Sid was so funny. And Sid’s handler didn’t want to allow it but he insisted.
Alix-that was great. They were milling around like worried somethings.
CBC folks, I hope you all just got to watch the Hockey Song video collage, because that was great.
I liked it too. Of course, Clarkson scoring the first goal probably helped. :P
CBC folks, I hope you all just got to watch the Hockey Song video collage, because that was great.
That song is now stuck in my head. I like the ones that played it on the accordion.
Majumder was on that Cedric the Entertainer Presents show from a few years ago and I thought he was very funny.
That song is now stuck in my head. I like the ones that played it on the accordion
Yes! And the one with the guy rocking out in a wig and the Hanson brothers glasses was good too.
And somehow he managed to convince Manny Legace that the Blackhawks and NHL have had his name wrong all season. Awesome!
Boxworthy has ways of making people do what Zach wants…
I saw Majumder at a Leafs game! It was the Sens vs. Leafs game on my birthday in ’06. While we were leaving I saw him sporting a fedora with a couple of buddies.
And I mean this in the best way possible– John Ziegler is still alive?
Pronger….just took a face plant on CBC.
Tell Boxworthy that I want my fruit basket from Zach now! I’m not a patient person.
Is it wrong that I laughed at Pronger falling in front of CBC’s live camera?
PRONGER, FACE PLANT
BEST GAME EVER.
Did anybody else notice how a certain slag faced whore’s bald spot? I guess we know why he shaves his head now.
Hee! The face St. Louis just made as Phaneuf was skating away was priceless.
I agree with Sherry.
Tell Boxworthy that I want my fruit basket from Zach now! I’m not a patient person.
He’s going as fast as he can! He’s a turtle! A very busy turtle! Cut him some slack!
awww Kabby! I’m proud of you :D
Oh man, Pronger…. I can go to bed happy now.
heee. the Easties are better at accruacy i guesso :0… lookin’ good Staal :D
Haha, well in that case perhaps it would be best if he delievered to Minnesota instead of Oregon.
He’s going as fast as he can! He’s a turtle! A very busy turtle! Cut him some slack!
If he needs help, Kohl’s has a whole army of Yertle the Turtles ready to help.
Mark just told me that when I first started watching hockey I liked Kaberle because his name sounded like “Cabaret.” I have no memory of this.
Jarome makes me happy.
Oh man, whose face is Iggy picturing on those targets? He DESTROYED them.
awww Kabby i still love you :D you’re amazing.
awwww Kabby see, this is why you should SHOOT more at home. honestly.
Kaberle seems like a nice guy.
I just have to say this again,
PRONGER. FACE PLANT. These are the best All-Stars Game in the history of the universe!
And assist to Spezza!
awwww Kabby see, this is why you should SHOOT more at home. honestly.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I wanna see the Pronger face-plant!
Did his nose stick in the ice and they had to wedge him out of it? :D
By the way, CBC folks, any chance this Pronger face plant will be available for viewing online? It sounds delicious.
Did his nose stick in the ice and they had to wedge him out of it? :D
Might as well! It was so awesome because Scott Oake was interviewing Corey Perry and you just heard this massive THUD.
I think the CBC archives all their games on their website so it should be available for viewing after the broadcast!
Seriously.
Jovo carrying a baby girl! This kind of thing is why I always watch the ASG.
Whoa, that guy had some HAIR! And little Patty! Awwwww!
Does anyone know who that person was getting out of that car? The one before Jovo? The one in the gray sweater?
I need to know who the adorable curly-headed blonde boy with the huge hockey gloves belongs to. So! Cute!
Sherry, you have just made my life. Twice.
if i had to bet, i’d be Phaneuf. =/. and a pane of the glass.
There’s Joe, Heather! And his hair looks good!
it’d. XD or. i dunno. =/ Pronger?
I get the vague feeling that he might belong to Pronger.
There’s Joe, Heather! And his hair looks good!
It does! I kind of miss the crazy, bushy beard but I’ll live.
A little Pronger though? That’s unfortunate.
Damn, Lecavalier.
I love that they’re all laughing at Ignila hitting the post and almost killing Perry.
It’s all in the neck! Vinny gets a great shot!
Awww, dang! I get in a car and I miss a Pronger face plant? Life just isn’t fair, Awww and Jovo with a bebeh? My timing is horrible.
whoa. surprising.
Hm. Phaneuf might be overrated. Who knew? :P
It’s all in the neck!
It must be!
I love that they’re all laughing at Ignila hitting the post and almost killing Perry.
I Loved the shot of Arnott practically ducking for cover!
You might not have seen the Jovo thing, alix. That was part of a mention of sponsors.
Hm. Phaneuf might be overrated. Who knew? :P
Ooooh! oooh! I did! I did! :p
I wish I could see all this.
I believe I just had my Vinny Lecavalier epiphany. Huh. Well, this Superskills won’t be a total waste!
“You might not have seen the Jovo thing, alix. That was part of a mention of sponsors.”
That’s a relief, Patty. But hopefully some soul somewhere you tubes that Pronger shit haha.
With Chara shooting at over 103 mph, I have to ask myself what the hell Patches was thinking diving in front of his shot last year?
Chara’s been preparing for this.
Holy smokes.
I remember Zee getting something close to 104 when at the Senators Super Skills a couple of years ago. He beat out Schubie’s 102 point something.
Hm. Phaneuf might be overrated. Who knew? :P
Hey, Hockeygirl, look at that hobo!
*psst* I knew!
Phaneuf was good for the WJCs, but I agree. SOOOOOO overrated.
Someone, somewhere, is saying that Chara’s hardest shots don’t count because he gets an exception to the maximum stick length rule made for him.
I believe I just had my Vinny Lecavalier epiphany.
What does that mean?
I believe I just had my Vinny Lecavalier epiphany.
What does that mean?
I’ve long resisted the charming good looks of Vinny. I might not be able to resist anymore. That’s what that means!
Someone, somewhere, is saying that Chara’s hardest shots don’t count because he gets an exception to the maximum stick length rule made for him.
He can’t help it he was fed radioactive material as a child!
Ah. I have a really, really nice photo of Vinny somewhere. Lemme go find it for ya, Pookie. :)
Come on, Pavel. Those were lame.
well. i kind of expected more.
HAHAHA. it wasn’t that creative though =/
Too bad Sid’s not here for this.
How have you managed to resist for so long, Pookie? Bro is smokin’ hot.
oh marty marty…. at least you tried :D
Yeah, I’m impressed, Pookie.
Okay, I feel really bad for St. Louis.
And Uh, I am not a fan of Vinny.
I think Vinny’s nice-looking but not all that. (I’m weird, I know.)
I want to see Jochen Hecht do this. He would carry the puck behind the net, shoot from the worst possible angle, bounce the shot off the goalie’s back and then a post, and somehow manage to get it in.
Credit to Getzi for trying.
awww but Getzi’s really trying there!
WOOOO XD
They should do it with an empty net. Then require it clang the post or something.
I want to see Jochen Hecht do this. He would carry the puck behind the net, shoot from the worst possible angle, bounce the shot off the goalie’s back and then a post, and somehow manage to get it in.
I think that happened a couple of games ago…
I would love to see Soupy here, doing rapid fire spin-o-ramas towards the net.
Getzi definitely gets points for trying!
awww Kovy’s not that creative.. good speed, no creativity =(
hahaha commentary… XD
hahahahaha now that’s fun, Gabby.
Aw, I really wish I could be seeing this (rather than being a good roommate as I am right now–it PAINS me) so this better be online or replayed or something.
Ovie should totally do this on a segway
I liked Gaborik’s big circle to build up speed.
I think that happened a couple of games ago…
Probably! He would be so much better at this anything goes breakaway than the real thing.
I would love to see Soupy here, doing rapid fire spin-o-ramas towards the net.
Hee! I might actually like Soupy for a few seconds if he did that and then wobbled off the ice because he was so dizzy.
Meg, you’re missing nothing.
I mean, other than some GREAT VERSUS PROGRAMMING! Magnet board, please!
Vinny in ESPN Magazine
Getzi got higher than Gaborik? I don’t know about that. I liked Getzi but I think Gaborik was robbed.
i like how a lot of the guys tried, but only OV actually picked it up that much. :DD i wish he scoredd
Ovie should totally do this on a segway
:^:::::::::::::::::::::
That was a beauty from Ovie!
I think the thing I like best about Lecavalier is his voice.
He totally fanned and I’m still in awe. That was sweet.
i love how much OV enjoys this so muchhh… :DD and just missss
Poor Ovie suffers from a lack of baseball as a youth.
Mara, thanks!
Vinny looks like he’s doing Godspell! Where’s Gambler? “That’s my favorite number. ‘Day Bidet’.”
what was that Getzi?!@ purposefully lose?!
That picture of Vinny freaks me out a little. It looks like he’s about to be crucified.
Getzi totally took a dive. He had money wire to him a la Crunchy at the Winter Classic. Oh, did I say that out loud? :)
This is what I don’t like about Vinny, I don’t think I’ve seen him crack a single smile all night.
Hey, are you CBCer’s getting a Getzi interview? No fair! We haven’t gotten a real one all night! Booo!
Didn’t you get one for the red carpet entrance? And in the dressing room before the first event? Sucks to be you.
Sherry, I’ve decided that he’s very self-conscious about his funny teeth.
Heather B. I agree, but for some reason I don’t care.
No baseball in Mother Russia?
You know what commercial I actually quite like? The VW one where they’re sitting in traffic and the people are blowing bubbles. Maybe it’s the Death Cab that’s swaying me.
Whoa. Is it over? That was sudden.
I love that ad too, Sherry! The music is great, the lighting is great, blah, blah, blah.
This is what I don’t like about Vinny, I don’t think I’ve seen him crack a single smile all night.
Sherry, yes! During the awards ceremony last year he looked like he was going to murder the old guy on stage saying really sweet, nice things about him. What’s up with that?
Yeah, I don’t know what the, uh, theme of the Vinny pic is. Very Christ-like.
But his neck and collarbones are so pretty!
alix, we haven’t watched the Red Carpet yet, so yeah, you’re right there’s probably one in there somewhere.
Really? He looked like he was going to cry when Jean Beliveau was talking about how good he is. I’m pretty sure his dad was crying.
No baseball in Mother Russia?
Based on my friend, Sergey’s, knowledge of baseball, I’m guessing no.
It was actually kind of fun to explain the rules to him. I grew up knowing the basic rules and I don’t remember learning them, so explaining it to an adult makes it seem really crazy.
“Whoa. Is it over? That was sudden.”
Hee. That’s what I thought too, Patty. I’m off to get drunk and play drunken pool. see y’all for the game tomorrow!
Bettman’s been the Commish for 15 years already? Holy cow.
Really? He looked like he was going to cry when Jean Beliveau was talking about how good he is. I’m pretty sure his dad was crying.
I don’t know. I saw murderous anger in his eyes.
Gary is telling this really boring story about some prank call. Yawn.
He doesn’t have a very expressive face, that’s true.
I like Vinny pretty well, but those neck muscles keep him off my hotlist. Too much for my tastes.
Have the lines been released for the game tomorrow? I’m kind of curious who Hank Sedin is feeding passes too.
Mmm, necks are my thing. As long as he has one, unlike most NFL players.
Olla! Well, that was fun!
Ovie, that backhand is my trick! Back off!
Haha, NFL players and their wide heads/ no necks always make me wonder how they can turn their heads to see anything happening in the game.
Have the lines been released for the game tomorrow?
Ovie said he’s playing with St. Louis and Spezza, but I haven’t heard any other ones.
Have the lines been released for the game tomorrow?
Alfie figured he’d be with Vinny and Malkin.
Thanks, Amy. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! How awesome was that? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, or, um, something. Sigh. What’s with VS’ insistence on on-ice cameras? Would it have killed them to use a wide-angle shot once or twice?
Have fun playing pool, alix!
Well. That was… diverting. I think it might be time for some Wii Sims. I think we’re going to zip through the TiVoed red carpet stuff tomorrow. I’ve had about as much All Star as I can handle tonight, methinks!
Now I should probably start on my HUGE pile of homework so that I can actually watch the game tomorrow.
Now I should probably start on my HUGE pile of homework so that I can actually watch the game tomorrow.
Good luck with that.
I should go to sleep, but I’m still laughing over Ovie, and Pronger attempting to crash Corey’s interview and failing. I can sense that I’m going to be replaying that a lot once I get home to my tivo :D
Thanks. Willamette profs are lame and give five times as much homework on the weekends. I think they feel weekends are longer than they really are.
Nieder. He delights us by sucking.
Word.
Indeed, Patty, indeed.
I was just reading your hilarious (duh!) diary, and now I have to go back and watch it again to see if I hear Ricky talking about fucking his hip up. I didn’t notice that at all. I’m sure VS was hoping that everybody out in TV land was like me and not paying very close attention.
I was surprised that no one else commented on it. We just have eagle ears, I guess! It was pretty priceless! He skated off and said, “I’m out. You go in. I’m out. I fucked up my hip again.” SO FUNNY! I mean, unless you’re an Islanders fan. Then it probably wasn’t funny…
I’m back! I missed you guys, but I did see (most of) the SuperSkillz- though without sound. Apparently I didn’t miss much there.
wow lots of comments!
I think Vinny is hot. And Duncan Keith is definetly a fine lookin gentleman.Who knew? He doesn’t look anything like that in his mug shot. What about Kimmo Timonen? The fact that he’s a Flyer takes away a bit but he’s prettty. And I think Mike Richards is not too bad lookin either.
Man, Pronger looks like the type of guy they always cast in those Lifetime movie-of-the-weeks who’s a drunk wife abuser.
Caitlin, that might be the funniest thing I’ve read all day..
I hate Pronger. I had this ridiculous, completely unfounded and intense dislike of him from the beginning of time (when he was in Hartford for crying out loud) and I never could quite get over it. I had a small moment or 2 in the 2006 finals when he was looking cute *and he does have a gap in his front teeth which I find strangely hot as hell* but he’s so icky, and slicky that I can’t handle it.
Gomez= the biggest slag-faced whore on the planet. NO LOVE for that beotch.
I like Martin St. Louis. His name is fun, he’s tiny and he’s cute!
and poor Osgood.. they were reaally giving him the Osss-gooood chant? That’s sooo mean! They’re just jealous of his GAA. ;)
The breakawy thing was crazy, but I was somewhat unimpressed with a lot of the guys. Half of them just did stuff you’d do in a normal shootout. Like Datsyuk. What gives man? Boooooring.
And I seem to have developed a serious love of Ovie. He’s just so.. effusive? I don’t mind the missing tooth. And of coruse I have an already existing love for goal-scoring Russians (see Pavel Bure) so it’s not a stretch to enjoy Ovie. He looks like he’s having so much fun! and he has personality.. which I can’t credit Sid with. Poor guy is a robot.
What’s with the mad Getzlaf love? not feeling it. I hate the Ducks.
And the Sens. Booooo I really don’t like Alfredsson, but Spezza gets hotness points, though I despise playing him 2389748957 times a year. Senators are BAD. Except Antoine Vermette. He’s hot.
Oh yeah and one more, I totally have the hots for Osgood, have forever. He still looks the same as he did when he was a baby-faced 21 yr old killing the Wings’ playoff hopes in 1994. Poor guy. It was funny though, someone once said “he doesn’t even look like the paperboy, he’s more like the paperboy’s little brother.. ” He’s so adorable though, how could you not appreciate him? (unless you hate the Wings, I guess that would be a valid excuse, a la my hatred for the Sens) But yeah, mad Ossie love. Because he’s great.
Okay I think I’m done. For now. Bring on the game tomorrow! (which I won’t be able to watch until it’s over since I have things to do at church. Don’t you hate it when life gets in the way of hockey and commenting on other people’s blogs? It’s very inconvienent.)
We got the super exaggerated slow-mo shot of Spezza’s impressed-ness as well! That was adorable.
Everything Spezza does that doesn’t involve him succeeding at the Devils expense is adorable.
Sherry, great live-blog! I can’t believe we didn’t get a face-planting Pronger
And of coruse I have an already existing love for goal-scoring Russians (see Pavel Bure) so it’s not a stretch to enjoy Ovie. He looks like he’s having so much fun! and he has personality.. which I can’t credit Sid with. Poor guy is a robot.
Considering my massive love for all things Russian, you find yourself in good company with me, Sam. :D
Caitlin, that might be the funniest thing I’ve read all day..
He does, though! Can’t you just imagine him stumbling drunkenly around some ramshackle house, holding a bottle of cheap bourbon in a dirty undershirt and slacks, screaming at some chintz chair, “I thought I told you to make me dinner, you worthless woman! [pauses and pokes chair] Wait a minute, you’re not a woman, you’re a chair! You liar! I HAAAATE A LIAR! WOMAN, WHERE ARE YOU!”
All while that schmaltzy music plays? That is what I see when I see Chris Pronger with the helmet off. Now with the helmet on, I just think: Frankenstein’s Monster.
Caitlin:
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Schnookie says she thinks of Leo from Twin Peaks when she see Chris Pronger without the helmet.
Schnookie says she thinks of Leo from Twin Peaks when she see Chris Pronger without the helmet.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Pronger + Twin Peaks = Caitlin is going to hide under the bed now.
Caitlin, that is EXACTLY what I think of Prongs, and probably why I never liked him. I just never could put it into words like that.
thank you.
Based on my friend, Sergey’s, knowledge of baseball, I’m guessing no.
It was actually kind of fun to explain the rules to him. I grew up knowing the basic rules and I don’t remember learning them, so explaining it to an adult makes it seem really crazy.
That poor Russian, not knowing baseball, and not knowing that everyone should hate the New York Yankees.
That poor Russian, not knowing baseball, and not knowing that everyone should hate the New York Yankees.
Oh, he knows that. He wasn’t raised in a cave in Russia. :D
Not raised in a cave? This is Ovechkin we’re talking about, right? :)
Oh, he knows that. He wasn’t raised in a cave in Russia. :D
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Not raised in a cave? This is Ovechkin we’re talking about, right? :)
Hey! Ovie didn’t live in a cave… okay, so maybe he did! But he’s adjusting to civilization now!
Not raised in a cave? This is Ovechkin we’re talking about, right? :)
No, I’m talking about my friend, Sergey. I don’t vouch for where Ovie was raised.
No, I’m talking about my friend, Sergey.
I don’t understand the whole i, y thing in Russian. Why is it Sergey/Sergei sometimes? I’m so confused.
Oh, sorry, Patty! I didn’t mean to insult your friend! @@@
I think my friend just guessed when he picked “y”.
I’m going to tell him you said that, Pookie! And I won’t even give him those cinnamon rolls! I’m keeping them for myself.
Sherry, great live-blog! I can’t believe we didn’t get a face-planting Pronger
Aw thanks very much but I lost half of my live-blog for the CBC pregame after almost killing myself trying to figure out how to make expandable posts on Blogger. All that work down the drain! *sob*
And I won’t even give him those cinnamon rolls! I’m keeping them for myself.
Heh!
Sherry, sorry! I wish I knew more about coding. We have a “more” tag built right into our template.
On on that note, to anyone still around, I’m shutting down for the night. I need to rest up for tomorrow’s big All-Star event on VERSUS!
What’s with the mad Getzlaf love? not feeling it. I hate the Ducks.
I know! The only time I’ve ever met him, he spent the whole time trying to look down my shirt, which I have to say would have been quite the feat considering I was wearing a hoodie.
It was actually kind of fun to explain the rules to him. I grew up knowing the basic rules and I don’t remember learning them, so explaining it to an adult makes it seem really crazy.
The other day a Brazilian guy asked me to explain the rules of baseball to him, and I was like, no way, no how. I understand baseball perfectly well, but I can barely explain it in English, let alone in German. It would have only made it more confusing to him, I’m sure.
It looks like I missed a fun night here last night! Heather, that Yo-Yo breakaway scenario was great. (And I’m pretty sure he has done that before. Bouncing the puck in off the goalie’s back seems to be somewhat of a Yo-Yo special.) One of these days he needs to get an invite to the All Star game, just so he can make a mess of the SuperSkills competition. Accuracy shooting would be so funny! “But… there’s no goalie here. What am I supposed to shoot at?”
With Chara shooting at over 103 mph, I have to ask myself what the hell Patches was thinking diving in front of his shot last year?
Oh MAN! Paetsch taking a Chara shot to the head was one of my favorite moments of last season, and one of the main contributors to my irrational Patches love. I love that he was miked up for it, too. Apparently he asked Zdeno to sign the dent in his helmet after the game. Cute!
I need to rest up for tomorrow’s big All-Star event on VERSUS!
to the very end pimping for magnets. impressive!
to the very end pimping for magnets. impressive!
What can I say? We take our swag-faced whorishness very seriously!
to the very end pimping for magnets. impressive!
You better believe it!
The only time I’ve ever met him, he spent the whole time trying to look down my shirt
It should be mentioned, Kirsten, that just because we think a guy is easy on the eyes doesn’t mean we think he’s a nice guy or anything. Please. This is all about objectification with the fourth wall fully intact. If we were only about objectifying the kinds of guys we’d actually want to interact with on any sort of real-life level, the pickings would be really thin. I mean, we’re talking about professional hockey players here. :P
For those of you who wanted to see it, the Pronger Face-plant is on YouTube…and of course on my blog.
Oooh, thanks Sherry! That’s awesome.
Sherry? Is it just me? I can’t see your site. It’s kind of a blank page right now. Can anybody else see it? I hope it’s not my computer.
Patty, for some reason my blog shows up on FireFox but not on the latest version of IE. I’m not sure why that’s happening!
That’s weird, Sherry. I usually don’t have trouble seeing it. Stupid IE. I bet others are having trouble. Maybe it’s a Blogger thing.
Wait a minute, Chico wears a rug?
Hmmm, now things are starting to make sense…
I’m so sorry to disillusion you, Stalky, but it was time you learned. That’s not Chico’s real hair. I’m so sorry you had to find out this way.
(Seriously, though, did you ever see the time Chico actually telestrated his rug into an old picture of himself on air?)
Jeez, I just figured he was in between stylists for a while, a long long while…but then telestrating yer toup’ is either the saddest thing one could do or evidence of a decent sense of humor. Sadly, I cannot decide which, as the “Chico Eats” segments seem to do the same, straddling ambiguously between self parody or a Look-I-just-escaped-from-my-handlers-again-Where’s-that-Thai-place-now?
Aw, poor Chico! It seems like it’s probably a case of a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B. OK, a lot of column B.
Patty, okay I think I fixed it after some extreme frustration. It should work now.
I’ve been tempted to move the thing over to WordPress since I’m pretty sure I’ll get less headaches that way but after so many posts I’m kind of like “eh”
I see it now, Sherry! Thanks. And that video is hilarious. It’s so funny that he was trying to do an a-holish thing and tripped and fell and looked stupid.
And it must have been a good one because the interviewer kept asking him if was okay.
I’ve been tempted to move the thing over to WordPress since I’m pretty sure I’ll get less headaches that way but after so many posts I’m kind of like “eh”
I’m under the impression moving over to WordPress is insanely easy.
I’m under the impression moving over to WordPress is insanely easy.
It is. I transferred all my posts from Blogger to WordPress by pressing a button. Seriously.
Who knew Manny Legace was so cheek-pinchable? :)