It’s no secret that we recently whored ourselves out to a certain cable network which shall not be named (we’ll call them “Blersus” to protect the innocent) because they offered us a magnetic playoff tracker board in exchange for some facetime on our widely-read and hugely well-respected blog. As soon as we heard those musical words — “magnetic” “playoff” “tracker” and “board” — we knew our lives would never be complete without one. We happily complied, turning the sacred pages of IPB into a veritable Times Square, stuffed to the gills with flashing neon signs advertising Blersus’ cheap wares. And then… nothing. All of our fellow swag-faced whores reported gleefully of the emails they received from Blersus showering them with lavish gift baskets of magnety goodness. And our inbox? Well, it remained a desolate wasteland, filled only with the occasional tumbleweed spamming by. Nothing. Increasingly panicky and desperate, we finally swallowed what little pride we had left and prostrated ourselves to Blersus, emailing them ourselves, pointing frantically to the scads of posts we wrote about them, begging to know what we’d done wrong, demanding to know how we could be better, imploring them that it’s not too late — we can change! And still, there was nothing but a stony, magnetless silence from our former suitor. The cut direct. We had been well and truly spurned.
After staggering drunkenly through the seedy side of town and trying to attract other cable networks with our used-up, tawdry wiles (TRIO? Noggin? DIY?), we finally had to admit defeat. There will be no magnetic playoff tracker board for us. Unless… Unless we make our own. Yes! That’s the ticket! We’ve got the gumption! We’ve got the elbow grease! And best of all, we’ve got the magnet: