The corrupt ruling priest class of PandoNation has been spending the last ten weeks running a for-profit sacrifice service, so all of its citizens could make offerings to our fallen emperor/god. We’ve turned a nifty profit selling all manner of animals ranging from dormice up to bulls, and all that sacrificing has paid off – he’s back tonight. Of course, Blersus doesn’t want us to know that. In our intro we hear from Eddie that the Pens are trying to play at a game over .500 while Sid’s out, while the Devils are 0-10 against the Rangers and Islanders. What? While we won’t dispute that number, we’re not entirely clear how that has any bearing on a Devils/Pens game. Unless the Pens are dressing the Islanders and Rangers in place of their usual lineup.
Our studio intro involves the Bls (that’s the abbreviate for Blersus, in case you’re wondering) guys talking predictably about these two teams (newsflash: Jordan Staal has tons of upside! And Zach Parise and Travis Zajac are the key young guys for the Devils!), and then we go to commercial after a glance at Zach during warm-ups. Meanwhile, if this game was on FSN, we’d be watching an inset Pando Cam during the entire pregame stuff, and the studio would be decked out in Pando-colored bunting while everyone would be wearing lapel pins with the number 20 on them. Pookie: “If they don’t mention Pando in the next five minutes, I’m going to go watch this on the potato instead of on Blersus.” (Considering Doc is one of PandoNation’s celebrity citizens, we find it unlikely his presence will go without note. But we’ve been wrong before.)
FIRST PERIOD
19:34 Pando is not on the ice yet.
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