After yesterday’s double-header of monster posts, we’re taking tonight a little lighter. Gentle Reader, have some haikus!
Cam Janssen is gone
Our hearts swell with joyousness.
Leave the hits to Rupp.
Senators coach kill
First-place team fires Paddock.
Julien smiles.
Trade deadline passes.
Earthquake thunderclaps and fear
then, tranquility.
Soupy to the Sharks
Gone is the spin-o-rama
Howdy there, Big Bear
I THINK I LOVE STEVE BERNIER!
Well, I’m sure he’s happy to be loved by Buffalo already, Heather!
See you guys all later. Gonna go home now and watch my two new/old guys play on their new teams.
That was a beautiful goal by Bernier.
Good night, andrew (and thanks for adding that awesome Soupy haiku)!
I figured the love for Big Bear would come flowing in after that goal!
ANOTHER GOAL FOR BIG BEAR! RWWWORRRR! I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM!
WHOOOO! Big Bear again!
I’m supposed to be at this game!!!!!! Waaaaaaaah!
Heather, props to picking up Soupy already in the AmazingLeague.
Amy, thank you. My defense has been the bane of my existence so I figured Soupy might help me out. I tried to pick him up yesterday but I couldn’t figure out what the heck was going on.
Roy-Z is feisty tonight!
After all those statbits crunched you picked up Soupy?!? But you know he’s overrated! All those fantasy dollars are being wasted on him!
I LOVE BERNIER!!!!!!
The change in temp between San Jose and Buffalo must have gotten to him, because Big Bear wants a few hats!!
I tried to pick him up yesterday but I couldn’t figure out what the heck was going on
I just had the epiphany to go and pick him up but was too late.
Pookie, I think we’ve established that “real-life” value and “fantasy” value are not always the same. Soupy does score points and stuff :P
So I’m thinking the Sabres look pretty crushed and broken emotionally. You guys?
Oh, they are totally depressed. I don’t know how to lift their spirits…. Pommers even refused some home-made Oatmeal cookies this morning.
Is anybody else’s MSG feed messed up? I’m getting audio of somebody in the background on a live mic dropping f-bombs left and right!
Is anybody else’s MSG feed messed up? I’m getting audio of somebody in the background on a live mic dropping f-bombs left and right!
I heard them. I also heard during the game someone let rip with a “watch the f-ing goalie.”
Matt, yeah, I’m getting that too. I was laughing at the happy, smiley commercial with talk of blood and stuff running under it.
I thought I was going nuts for a second… then I figured out that they didn’t intentionally put “Wipe some of that fucking shit on your face” on the happy commercial…
Soupy does score points and stuff :P
In fact, I believe he’s second on the Sharks in points or something isn’t he.
Hrm… so what if Soup has an assist tonight in San Jose. He also picked up a minus…
Points-schmoints. The PanBoxers are built on heart!
Points-schmoints. The PanBoxers are built on heart!
Hey now! I thought “points schmoints” was my line!
The PanBoxers are built on heart!
How’s that going for you?
Awww! Go Big Bear! I’ve kind of loved him ever since I heard him interviewed in the first Canucks/Sharks game this year. Those french accents do me in. Hopefully Petting Zoo will get 2 goals tonight as well…
Those haikus are epic by the way.
WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! PIE-YAY!!!!!
Oh shit. Not more blood!
That was a hell of a shot that managed to cut Miller.
Okay, obviously I hope he’s okay… but that slow motion replay of Crunchy faaaaallllling over is hilarious.
I almost wonder if the cage of his mask broke, because that’s a heck of a cut on the nose. It doesn’t look like it’s pouring out of his nose, but off of it. That’d make the second goalie this month to be hurt by a breaking mask…
PETEY!!!!!! MY GOD IT”S PETEY!!!
ANDREW PETERS! I want him off my team but it’s totally adorable how happy everyone is when he scores.
Peters….goal….does not compute.
Dallas makes a trade
Chia Pet goalie is gone
I hate the Lightning
Okay, I don’t REALLY hate them, but I’m really quite upset that I’m actually WATCHING a Tampa Bay Lightning game right now.
He’s scored two years in a row now. Way to go Peters!
There is nobody in this league that appreciates a goal as much as Andrew Peters. He’s an offensive force to be reckoned with! Who does he think he is, Rob Ray?
But you can stare at Vinny, Cat! And watch your newly promoted goalie. Are the Wild losing? (pretty please!)
GAH! The Forsberg drama princess stuff is starting already! He’s not even PLAYING in Vancouver tonight, but the media are falling all over themselves to have a press conference with him before the game. I can’t believe I was a tiny bit annoyed we didn’t get him.
But you can stare at Vinny, Cat! And watch your newly promoted goalie. Are the Wild losing? (pretty please!)
As long as Mike Smith is on the ice, I can promise I won’t be staring at Vinny. ;) I love that he still has his Garth Brooks mask. I wonder what his Tampa Bay mask will look like… :(
Also, the score is 0-0 at the end of the first period.
Crap. =(
Not cool.
Wow, all kinds of craziness occurs when I step into the kitchen to whip up a batch of ANTM/PR cookie pudding! I hope Crunchy’s okay. I think he’s going to wander around the hospital a la Monk when he had a bloody nose.
The PanBoxers are built on heart!
How’s that going for you?
Uh… look at that hobo!
“I wonder what his Tampa Bay mask will look like… :(”
Palm trees? girls in bikinis? alligators?
I’m sorry to see Crunchy coming back to the game without a giant bandage on his nose. I was hoping he’d be hilariously over-plastered.
I am so relieved that Miller was back in net for that power play.
Palm trees? girls in bikinis? alligators?
ALLIMIGATORS! He can name them Iskristiy, because he misses Russian, too.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Shove that one up your wicket, Mason! That was one hell of a softee…
I love how Neale had Pommers’ goal total for the year right at his fingertips there.
I don’t think I quite realized just how BIG Bernier is. That 6’2″ looks like a mountain in front of the net…
And with that comment, Harry is trying to become the new Chico…
WO!OOOOOOO!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
POINTS AND POINTS AND POINTS AND POINTS!!!
I think Bernier might just get to stick on this line for awhile.
“ALLIMIGATORS! He can name them Iskristiy, because he misses Russian, too.”
Awwwwww!
Boo. This is my first game without Cookie tonight. I know a lot of people hated him…but he was a funny guy and a sweet heart. Sad.
Petting Zoo does increase our prettiness though.
I really like the Big Bear / Roy-Z / Vanek line. However, we do need a snazzy nickname for Vanek. Van isn’t going to cut it when compared with BB and Roy-Z.
Oooh! I didn’t realize it was the Preds your guys were beating up on! They’re right behind us in the standings. Thanks!
You’re welcome, Alix!
Also, I miss J.P. Dumont.
Awwww, poor ‘tooth. Always confusing hamburgers and cat food…
It broke the mask! Did I call it?
AHHHHH! I turn on the Canucks pre game radio show and ALL they’re talking about is FORSBERG!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
See what you did, Erat? You dove to stop the 2 on 1? SUCK IT!
OK, I’m going to have a heart attack if they keep doing this…
WOO!!!
Nichol is such a shit.
I think I’m in love with Big Bear.
I am so excited about him, Heather! I hope this is indicative of how he’s going to play every game.
Also, the 4 goals against isn’t great, but I’m really happy with the team tonight.
And with that, gotta go. Have a great night, everyone!
YAY! I’m even more happy about this Sabres win than usual.
Nice game Sabres!
Beautiful haikus, Ookies. Hai-kookies?
Halpie has a goal and an assist! But poor Smitty is losing a little.
I’m so frsutrated with Nichol… I hope Campbell sees that tape tonight and does something about it. On the plus side, it was nice to see Goose come out to defend the team, wings beating the air furiously. Then that HUGE hit by Big Bear at the end… and for guys he doesn’t even know. I like him a lot.
Hai-kookies?
Hee!
The biggest criticism I’ve heard of Bernier is that he’s inconsistent but he’s young and it sounds like he was in the doghouse a bit in SJ. There was definitely a lot there tonight to like from him.
I’m not sure worried about the 4 goals. That first was obviously helped by the goalie being crumpled in a heap and two were on T-Bo.
My favorite thing though was how fired up they were and how quick they were to scrap and defend each other. That’s awesome.
The biggest criticism I’ve heard of Bernier is that he’s inconsistent but he’s young and it sounds like he was in the doghouse a bit in SJ.
I’ve heard the same thing, but that shouldn’t be a big surprise. I think we’ve got a really good track record with pulling consistency out of flaky guys. Also, he did take a lot of abuse in SJ… I never really heard why, but there were a number of locker room problems that festered.
Anyway, I’m out for the evening. Good night IPB’ers!
Maybe he’ll be like Taylor Pirate in Vancouver.
Come on Tampa! At least take it to OT! Minny doesn’t need 2 points!
alix, I think andrew actually mentioned Pyatt when were talking about Bernier yesterday. He said he thought it might be a similar situation where Bernier just needs a change of scenery and a little more time to grow.
Poor Smitty!
Is Bernier bigger than you’re used to seeing?
When Winchester plays the odd game, it’s very weird to see him out there towering over all the other guys, even Mo.
I can definitely see that, Heather. I’m hoping that happens for Petting Zoo too, coming to Vancouver. We could always use more goals.
I’m off to catch the Canucks game! Talk to you all later!
Good luck, alix!
Is Bernier bigger than you’re used to seeing?
He is although we seem to be slowly moving toward a little more size. (Which is good. We did need it.)
GAH! The Forsberg drama princess stuff is starting already! He’s not even PLAYING in Vancouver tonight, but the media are falling all over themselves to have a press conference with him before the game. I can’t believe I was a tiny bit annoyed we didn’t get him.
ummm…’scuse me, but hasn’t Floppy always been a drama Princess?
His act actually never ended. It just kept moving continents. Now, unfortunately, it’s back on ours. I’d like to suggest that he could visit Antarctica. It’s a continent. He hasn’t bothered the fauna there yet.
Good idea, SueNJ97!
Hossa-ly stunned town
Brass of riverboat gambler
Doobie Doobie Doo
Nests being feathered
Shero channels old Patrick
Beware the Penguins
(Yes. I had to resort to the same quote from our ’92 Cup Video and a Bud Ice ad from about 4 years after that. Bite me. ^_^)
“This here’s a real hockey town for sure. The boys up north think they’re in heaven after they get here.”
I think the new kid likes Buffalo! (One day soon, Bucky Gleason’s tears will short out his keyboard.)
However, we do need a snazzy nickname for Vanek. Van isn’t going to cut it when compared with BB and Roy-Z.
Might I suggest the lame nickname I refer to him by? A couple months ago I started calling him Britney because his career and on-ice life were total disasters now when he was so great before and we didn’t know what had gone so horribly wrong. Then, in a strange twist of fate, right about the time Britney Spears started to turn her life around, SabreBritney started scoring the goals. Coincidence? I think not.
I don’t think people really want to call Thomas Vanek “Britney” but I still will.
Ooooh that was a foxy shift by Taylor Pirate! No goal but he smushed a guy with a hit, bodied a guy of the puck, and drew a penalty at the net.
Holy shit! Some guy just won a million bucks shooting pucks in the net and got a hug from Bobby Orr!
Is he draft-eligible, alix? :P
What’s Bobby Orr doing there? Colorado want him too?
HA! The radio guys said we should sign him. Hee! Nice Colorado joke. Some farmer from Saskatchewan won a contest with Chevrolet to shoot pucks from the blue line. If he got 15 out of 20 he won a mill and a new truck. Bobby Orr does advertizing for them.
Oooh geez! How bout you guys stop taking stupid penalties!
WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Oh, man. Poor Smitty and Jussi, but man, oh, man, GO HALPIE GO!
:( Even though you’re a Bolt now.
Lovely haikus, Ookies. I failed haiku assignments in school, so I shan’t even try.
Sooooo…..I actually went and BOUGHT The Hockey News today, pretty much because it was “The Goalie Issue”. :D
I find it lacking in enough Conkblock content but it’s still interesting nevertheless and geewhizisDiPietroprettyonthecover and Idon’tevenlikehim! But Margee should be plzed.
The mysterious Mason Raymond strikes again :)
That guy won, alix? I saw a commercial with him practicing his shots. Must have been a big deal up there.
I don’t really like the Hockey News but they said Lui was numero uno, so meh :D
Petting Zoo is a nice pick up, I think. No points yet, but skating well.
GO HALPIE GO!
I miss Halpie already! I’m so glad he scored. Plus an assist! And half the people that analyzed the trade forgot to mention him. They don’t even know!
He did, Patty! It was pretty crazy. The crowd went nuts for him which was nice to see.
I don’t really like the Hockey News but they said Lui was numero uno, so meh
They did??? Ooooooh-kay. :P
Caitlin, thanks for the kind words. These are totally Haipookies, though. I can’t claim any credit here!
HA HA HA! Forsberg is an illegal immigrant and isn’t allowed to leave Vancouver.
You have to like this, though: “The combined age of Montreal’s goaltenders is a year younger than Dominek Hasek.” Okay, so that’s not THN. Whatev. ;)
HOLY SHIT!!!! That was a nice save!
They also said Nabokov was #2. ;) I knew you’d think it was interesting, -ookies.
(Bearing in mind that it’s only based on this season up to Feb. 14. “TY! CONKLIN! YOU WILL NEVER PLAY ANOTHER GAME!” is better than half the league. HA!)
Shall we take bets on which team gives him an un-conk-scionable offer this summer?
BOOOOO! That sucks. Last minute of second period they tie it up.
Too be honest I thought Marty would be second :p And some other dudes were way too high IMO.
Forsberg is an illegal immigrant and isn’t allowed to leave Vancouver.
What??
Apparently his work visa isn’t worked out in the States yet. Tax thing or something.
They also said Nabokov was #2. ;) I knew you’d think it was interesting, -ookies.
It’s just The Hockey News’s East Coast Bias. Also not particularly interesting considering we canceled our subscription over seven years ago. Moreover, I think we’ll take having arguably the best goalie to ever play the game over having the attention of a hockey news magazine.
Probably because the US doesn’t believe his foot works any more than the rest of us do. :D
Patty, ZING!
The border guard probably said, “Get that shit outta here! You’re not foolin’ anyone!”
“Except that sucker that runs the Avs.”
HA! I freakin love Alex Burrows. Gets punched in the head, but gets us on the PP to start the third period.
You’re on fire, Patty!
Oh and NICE zing, Patty!
I want to FUCKING murder my team. Idiots! They got the lead with 60 seconds left, and then stood around the net and let Joe Sakic score on his on rebound. Ooooh. I want to beat them.
The worst part is, Patty, everyone who mentioned Halpern in the news mentioned that it was a crappy deal for him. Jokinen’s getting a decent deal out of it, Smith gets to be the #1 goaltender, and Halpern was extra space. Poor Halpie.
And then he goes and shows them ALL! Good job, Jeff. I’ll miss you and your quiet, shy ways.
And Schnookie, I’m sure you contributed something! (Good job, Pookie.) I don’t know. My brain hurts, and I’m still all giggly from seeing Be Kind, Rewind.
FUCKING FUCKERS! Me and the Canucks are in a FIHGT!
alix: *hug*
You need it.
Maybe Vigneault will make them ride the bikes to get home?
Poor alix! So sorry about your game! I hate the Avs.
Thanks Patty, DS. Joe freakin Sakic. I LOVE him when he doesn’t play us, but when he does. Ahhh. Tying goal AND shoot out winner. They played a good game, but screwed up in the end. Some maybe just ride the bikes half way home…
Morning, IPB. Anyone awake out there?
Hi, Caitlin and anyone else around. I’ve been having to do actual work this week . . . what’s with that?
I’ve been up retarculously early this week because I have 3 mid-terms and an assignment due this week. Combine that with the fact that I couldn’t drink coffee for most of the week, the crappiness that is some hockey team I used to like and it hasn’t been a good week.
Hi, Caitlin and anyone else around. I’ve been having to do actual work this week . . . what’s with that?
Me too — it’s been very busy around my office. Hm, who knew?
it hasn’t been a good week.
Me neither, Sherry! I have had the most ridiculously bad week EVER. I’m sorry about the Sens, Sherry. :( And I’m sorry about all your midterms!
Thanks, Caitlin. I have renewed hope in my team now that Paddock’s fired and Bryan Murray’s back. I also only one more mid-term left so there’s a light at the end of the tunnel…I see that maybe scheduling surgery for the week before my Week of Death was maybe not the best idea.
How was everybody’s trade deadline day?
Sherry, how are you feeling (the Sens and 3 mid-terms aside)?
How was everybody’s trade deadline day?
Fantastic! We got rid of the player I dislike the most and now we’ve more healthy, middling d-men in our line-up than anyone else can dream of! That’s what wins, right? 9 healthy, middling d-men?
I’m feeling much better, thanks Pookie! I’ve been nauseous for a week now but I didn’t know if that was because of the medication or the fact that the Sens have been absolutely putrid.
That’s what wins, right? 9 healthy, middling d-men?
Oh that has to be better than 2 good d-men and 5 really bad ones.
Oh that has to be better than 2 good d-men and 5 really bad ones.
Ah! Good point!
And I apologize if you guys have talked about this already but I can’t believe what the Pens gave up for Hossa. Maybe I’m just used to Hossa’s under achievement during the post-season but I don’t see why people are criticizing Murray and Gainey for not wanting to raid the kitchen cupboards for him. It does boggle my mind that Gainey let Huet go for a freaking second round pick though.
And I apologize if you guys have talked about this already but I can’t believe what the Pens gave up for Hossa.
We talked about it a little and the general feeling around here is “why tank all those years just to leverage the future away for one rental”? And for one rental with no real playoff performance history? And why turn a team that’s been building a core for a successful run of years into a “win now or bust” team? I should be scared for the Devils having to play them but right now all I can think is, “That trade makes no sense! It’s so funny!”
Yeah, I find the Hossa deal kind of baffling. I mean, I like Hossa fine but if you want to bring in a talented veteran for a playoff run he’s not really the first name that comes to mind.
I like Hossa fine but if you want to bring in a talented veteran for a playoff run he’s not really the first name that comes to mind.
No! Exactly! And I don’t know what the Pens’ cap situation is like but they’ll be hard-pressed to resign him for a reasonable price, especially if they do go on a deep playoff run. Muckler had to turn around and trade him to the Thrashers after a mediocre playoff run because he was too expensive.
And why turn a team that’s been building a core for a successful run of years into a “win now or bust” team?
Yeah, that’s the part that baffles me the most. I mean, their prospect is only Angelo Esposito who’s really not been developing all that well but they’ve given up on Armstrong and Christensen already?
Good morning, everyone! Sherry, I’m so sorry you’re having such a rough week. And Meg, I agree — this “having to actually do work” thing is just so uncalled for. I’ve been swamped this week, and I’m not happy about it.
The Hossa deal is made all the more puzzling by the fact that it’s not like Pittsburgh is lacking in offensive production. Of all the question marks they may have had going into the playoffs, if they’re in a “win now” mode, “lack of scoring” really wasn’t the most glaring one. I get that they want to have Sid and Malkin on two equally potent lines, but I don’t think paying a huge price for the rental of Marian Hossa is plugging any of the bigger-picture holes the team has. I suppose, though, that it’s the gesture and the idea of the trade. Shero’s saying to the fans, “Now is the time”, or something. Hey, that’s worked really well when Sather’s done it in NY, so why not?
Hey, that’s worked really well when Sather’s done it in NY, so why not?
ZING!
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
If Hossa was more than a rental, I would understand it more. However, hasn’t Hossa pretty much indicated he’ll go sign with some other team after the season’s over? That’s an awful lot to give up for someone to come play for your team for a few months.
but they’ve given up on Armstrong and Christensen already?
This mystified me too – I can understand not wanting to give up a lot of the guys they’ve got, but I think giving up Army and Christiansen is going to come back and bite them.
I like Hossa fine but if you want to bring in a talented veteran for a playoff run he’s not really the first name that comes to mind.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Which is why I’m even more glad Dallas didn’t trade for him and at least got Richards instead.
However, hasn’t Hossa pretty much indicated he’ll go sign with some other team after the season’s over?
Hey, some Pens fan commenting over on FanHouse seemed confident the Pens could get him to sign a two- or three-year deal at a reasonable price come July. I think that’s likely. :P
Hey, some Pens fan commenting over on FanHouse seemed confident the Pens could get him to sign a two- or three-year deal at a reasonable price come July. I think that’s likely. :P
Reasonable according to who? :P
Hossa’s gonna get 7 if not closer to 8. Add that to Sidney’s 8.5 (?) and the 7-8 they’re going to have to eventually give Malkin and that’s… a lot of money in three guys who don’t play defense or tend goal. And while I doubt Sid is going to cry and tank the season because Armstrong is gone, if he was really as good for Sid as people say, I think I’d be inclined to keep him around especially since he’s not a liability on the ice and likely to stay fairly inexpensive.
If I were a Pens fan I’d be hoping really hard it works out for them this year because I don’t know what happens next year or the year after.
I love Steve Bernier!
I love Steve Bernier!
I’m glad! We’re going to find out soon if I love Brad Richards or not. Like…tonight against the Blackhawks kind of soon.
I think I’d be inclined to keep him around especially since he’s not a liability on the ice and likely to stay fairly inexpensive.
I think they gave up a huge chunk of morale and part of their future to sign a guy for two to four months to win a Cup, and if they don’t win one, well, that’s gonna suck.
I think they gave up a huge chunk of morale and part of their future to sign a guy for two to four months to win a Cup, and if they don’t win one, well, that’s gonna suck.
And they’re not going to. :D
Hossa’s gonna get 7 if not closer to 8.
And he’s also not going to take any 2- or 3-year deal.
If I were a Pens fan I’d be hoping really hard it works out for them this year because I don’t know what happens next year or the year after.
It seems pretty clearly like they’re headed to Tampa Bay territory this season and next. While I’m sure the Tampa fans are fine with a few years of futility because winning the Cup was cool, I’m pretty sure Detroit and NJ fans will tell you winning the Cup a few times with a team that’s put a premium on keeping the core together is a lot more fun.
It seems pretty clearly like they’re headed to Tampa Bay territory this season and next.
Which is sad. The fact of the matter is, they didn’t need Hossa. Hey, if it works out for ‘em, more power to them, but I don’t see that happening.
And I for one would just like to say on a personal note, working while you are sick — sucks.
“I love Steve Bernier!”
He was pretty damn good, wasn’t he? Although, with a start like that, I don’t know how he’s going to top that come next game!
When he flew into that scrum and completely knocked the shit out of asshole Predator (Nichol, Tootoo, Hordichuck, they’re all assholes), I was dying laughing.
And he’s also not going to take any 2- or 3-year deal.
For Pittsburgh he’ll take league minimum for a 1-year 2-way deal. Trust me. He and Shero already have it allll worked out.
And he’s also not going to take any 2- or 3-year deal.
Not even for the Pens? Because I’ve been told the Pens don’t “do” rentals. :P
When he flew into that scrum and completely knocked the shit out of asshole Predator (Nichol, Tootoo, Hordichuck, they’re all assholes), I was dying laughing.
andrew, that was the moment. I really liked him up to that point but that was the moment I officially fell in love. I don’t care if he doesn’t score as consistently, if he plays that like that I’ll be happy. The whole team was scrapping and sticking up for each other in a way I’ve never seen. It was awesome.
How’d ol’ Soup look in SJ?
How’d ol’ Soup look in SJ?
Heather, one of the posters on a racing forum I read is a CBJ fan. He told me that Soupy cheap shotted Nash, Nash dropped the gloves ready to go, and an SJ player had to step in and save Soupy’s ass.
Somehow I find it hard to believe that Soupy cheapshotted anyone.
Amy, I forgot about that! I heard Nash tried to fight Soupy but I never heard what led up to it! Nash is… kinda huge for Soupy to be picking on.
Somehow I find it hard to believe that Soupy cheapshotted anyone.
I know. But the person who told me the story is also a Flyers fan, so he knows cheap shots.
“The whole team was scrapping and sticking up for each other in a way I’ve never seen. It was awesome.”
They really were. It was sweet. Especially against the Preds. Those guys are jerks.
“How’d ol’ Soup look in SJ?”
Pretty good, I thought. He was even +/- and had an assist. I think he was getting adjusted more than anything.
It was funny, when the announcers were doing their pre-game introduction of Soupy they talked about him being a big open-ice hitter. Of course, I thought “Well, they’ll certainly learn that’s a fallacy.” So about midway through the second he laid a HUGE open ice hit on Brule. Way to prove me wrong, Soupy.
“He told me that Soupy cheap shotted Nash, Nash dropped the gloves ready to go, and an SJ player had to step in and save Soupy’s ass.”
Soupy ducked a hip check from Nash. Nash got really pissed (Maybe Soupy said something to him?), and decided to throttle him. He had his gloves off and had pinned Soupy before anyone even knew what was going on. It was waaaay behind the play too. It was weird.
They really were. It was sweet.
There was an adorable shot of Kalinin and Kaleta giving each other a fist-bump in the penalty box. It cracked me up because those are not the two players I expect to see congratulating each other after a dust-up.
And the Predators are jackasses! Man! I’m glad we only play them once every couple of years. Does Nichol every punch someone while they’re actually facing him?
“There was an adorable shot of Kalinin and Kaleta giving each other a fist-bump in the penalty box.”
I saw that. That was great. It was like all the guys were playing with a little bit of a chip on their shoulder.
“Man! I’m glad we only play them once every couple of years. Does Nichol every punch someone while they’re actually facing him?”
Nichol is a punk, I can’t stand that guy. He’s worse than Tootoo. Sabres are lucky to only play them once in a while! I swear to god, if the Sharks meet them in the playoffs again this year…
I hate playing the Predators. HATE. I will never forgive Jordin Tootoo for the Stephane Robidas incident.
There was an adorable shot of Kalinin and Kaleta giving each other a fist-bump in the penalty box.
I loved that.
It was funny, when the announcers were doing their pre-game introduction of Soupy they talked about him being a big open-ice hitter. Of course, I thought “Well, they’ll certainly learn that’s a fallacy.” So about midway through the second he laid a HUGE open ice hit on Brule. Way to prove me wrong, Soupy.
Yeah, but Soupy only does those big open ice hits every once in a while. Its not like its an every game thing.
But the person who told me the story is also a Flyers fan, so he knows cheap shots.
Funny, I thought the Flyer fan definition of cheap shot was: breathe on a Flyer. The Flyer fan definition of non-cheap shot was – anything up to and including decapitation that a Flyer does to someone on another team, or something (no matter how horrible) that just happens to someone on another team.
However, throttling another player does kind of sound cheap. After all, they just give you 5 minutes for punching him.
“Yeah, but Soupy only does those big open ice hits every once in a while. Its not like its an every game thing.”
Oh yeah, I know that. But it’s like we were talking about the other day, he’s got a reputation built on a couple of hits. Now that he popped someone in his first game as a Shark, that’s all I’m going to hear from the announcers for the next two months.
Also, with the Wings and the Sens slumping so badly, can’t we get some games against them? I would kill for a home-and-home against either of them right now! Looks like there’s a few coming up, so that’s good.
Because I’ve been told the Pens don’t “do” rentals. :P
Hee!
andrew, I just saw a little of the Sharks game and I was hearing it more than watching it, and I heard them say something about the puck going right past Soupy and thought, see? Heather ‘n them are right! He’s terrible!
Then I watched the replay and the poor guy was trying to block a net that the goalie had abandoned.
So it wasn’t his fault. I shouldn’t be so hard on him. :D
So it wasn’t his fault. I shouldn’t be so hard on him. :D
Yes you should. He’s terrible. :P
And the Predators are jackasses! Man!
Hey, just because I’m not commenting doesn’t mean I’m not reading! :P
Andrew, I myself am tired of going to Nashville to watch Sharks playoff games.
Yes you should. He’s terrible. :P
I have to say, now that he’s not my headache anymore, I find myself really rooting for Soupy to do well. I might actually get defensive of him again if this keeps up. (Although I was never SUPER defensive of him as far as on-ice play goes. He’s no Roy-Z, that’s for sure.)
“Andrew, I myself am tired of going to Nashville to watch Sharks playoff games.”
Heh, I can imagine. Hasn’t been easy for Preds fans. I will say that they’re highly entertaining series’. It just seems like the Sharks never make it out with a full roster.
If you’re going to defend the Preds, Frisby, I’ll just have to hand you back your soldering iron!
:P
Yes you should. He’s terrible. :P
I have to say, now that he’s not my headache anymore, I find myself really rooting for Soupy to do well.
Hah. I have to say in Soupy’s defense that he’s not terrible. He’s a good offensive defenseman. He’s just not worth what he’s going to get paid because of his defensive shortcomings.
I might actually get defensive of him again if this keeps up.
So you’re saying you want to have your cake and eat it too, with Soupy? :P
Ookies! Y’all seen uniwatch yet today? I think I’m in love.
Actually I am just geeked that the guy likes the Devils jersey so much. Not the half naked ladies at all… No siree!
If you’re going to defend the Preds, Frisby, I’ll just have to hand you back your soldering iron!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Morgan, I opted not to actual take a look at the Devils logo in action in those drawings, since I am at work and all, but I love that that guy has such great taste! Really, the engma is, in my opinion, the most underrated logo in sports. I’m so glad to see it getting some love in so august a setting as Uni Watch! :D
“I’m so glad to see it getting some love in so august a setting as Uni Watch! :D”
I am such a down trodden Devils fan, that I like it when we get love from anywhere!
I am such a down trodden Devils fan, that I like it when we get love from anywhere!
I know, seriously!
Just like Dangerfield
Devils fans get no respect
No Smythe for Marty
Just like Dangerfield
Devils fans get no respect
No Smythe for Marty
andrew, you’re good at this game! Can I have a Hank haiku?
andrew, that is the most beautiful haiku I’ve ever read. *Wipes away a tear*
(I have a very low-stress, unimportant job, but can I just tell you all, I’ve got a job candidate in today who’s giving a seminar to our department, and some fucker just poached the conference room I reserved. This is like the biggest professional catastrophe I’ve had since the recent promotion debacle where I set someone’s salary at $142 a year. My life is so difficult!)
We love Tallinder
Smooth skater, good shot blocker
And he gets the chicks
andrew! If I could kick you, I would! :P
“andrew! If I could kick you, I would! :P”
Aww c’mon! I thought it was funny!
I love Hank!
And he gets the chicks
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Hank, this team needs you
You’re way better than Soupy
Stop breaking your arm
andrew, you are a menace!
(And he hasn’t broken that arm in a whole year! :P)
I love Hank!
I know, I know!
Hank, this team needs you
You’re way better than Soupy
Stop breaking your arm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry you asked, Heather? These are too good, andrew!
“(And he hasn’t broken that arm in a whole year! :P)”
Knock on wood.
“Sorry you asked, Heather? These are too good, andrew!”
For some reason Haiku comes way too easily for me. Which is odd, because I can’t write any other type of poetry to save my life.
We do a lot of haiku at IPB Manor, too. I guess there’s just something natural to that 5-7-5 cadence for minds like ours. :D
Knock on wood.
Oh, I did. I already screwed Jochen by publicly crowing that h would DEFINITELY score 20 goals this year.
And yes, they are very funny :-D Can’t be a Hank fan if you can’t laugh about certain things, you know?
For some reason Haiku comes way too easily for me. Which is odd, because I can’t write any other type of poetry to save my life.
Do you take requests, andrew?!
And Schnookie, that conference room poaching happens to me occasionally. I think the biggest weirdness is that today I got invoiced for some work someone did for us — a year after the fact. What the hell? I wasn’t even here when that work was done! And who sends out an invoice a YEAR after the fact?
“I guess there’s just something natural to that 5-7-5 cadence for minds like ours. :D”
Must be!
Big Bear nets two goals
Ruff says it’s a dream come true
Ron Wilson can’t coach
“Do you take requests, andrew?!”
I don’t like Bret Hull
His foot was in the damn crease
That’s Buffalo’s cup
Sorry, had to be done. You want a nicer Dallas one? I’ll think about it…
andrew, do you subscribe to the theory that Ron Wilson was not a good coach for Bernier? (You don’t have to answer in Haiku form unless you want to.)
Sorry, had to be done. You want a nicer Dallas one? I’ll think about it…
Um, I was thinking about something involving Russian, but nevermind! (I would’ve given you a nice shiny present, too. Hmph.)
I don’t like andrew
Get over the goddamn crease, okay
It’s still Dallas’ cup
Yeah, I kind of suck at haiku.
And who sends out an invoice a YEAR after the fact?
Oh, just about every vendor my company does business with. Why do you ask? (I once had someone from whom we make a lot of purchases on credit cards send me a several-pages-long fax of two year’s worth of credit card transactions. They had left post-its on a lot of the pages, so I couldn’t read half of it. And they asked me to go over each line item and tell them which items they’d actually charged us for and which ones still had to be run through. I… don’t know how that company is still in business.)
“andrew, do you subscribe to the theory that Ron Wilson was not a good coach for Bernier?”
I don’t think Ron Wilson is a good coach for the Sharks, period. He has been in a year long tizzy with his captain, he won’t keep a line together for longer than a period, and he doesn’t know how to nuture youth. I think they could be much better if they got someone new behind the bench.
Just my opinion.
Oh, just about every vendor my company does business with. Why do you ask?
First of all, that credit card company story? Scary. Oh, my, god, kind of scary.
Secondly, all of my invoices that come in are on a usual basis – courier services, FedEx, various copy and document services where they are fairly prompt about invoicing you. My copy service usually drops off my order WITH the invoice attached. On top. It is expected to be paid within 30 days. So I’m used to getting ‘em in and right out the door ASAP.
So for me to get an invoice over minor work that was done a year ago, that, looking at the service provided, should have been invoiced literally a week to two weeks after it was done is fairly “WTF” to me.
I don’t understand how Ron Wilson still had a job after last year. I mean, I realize I’m a “fire the coach first, ask questions later” kind of fan, but really. I think in this case he’s supporting my argument.
Okay, good, I’m going to stick with my theory that some of Bernier’s problems will be helped along by playing for a coach who’s historically good with young players and you know, a good coach.
“I don’t like andrew
Get over the goddamn crease, okay
It’s still Dallas’ cup”
Ouch! Mean!
Russian might be old
But he plays like he’s twenty
An ageless wonder
“I’m going to stick with my theory that some of Bernier’s problems will be helped along by playing for a coach who’s historically good with young players and you know, a good coach.”
It’s not a bad theory. You should stick with it! I honestly think Ron Wilson is a great coach, he’s just lost the Sharks. Look at the talent they have assembled and tell me they shouldn’t be dominating the West.
“I don’t understand how Ron Wilson still had a job after last year.”
Me neither. After the Detroit fiasco, I was sure he was gone.
Russian might be old
But he plays like he’s twenty
An ageless wonder
Awww, look at that! Thanks, andrew!
Here’s your present: GO SHARKS, BEAT THE WINGS! :D
I might actually get defensive of him again if this keeps up.
At least one of you will be defensive! Har!
Just kidding, Heather. :D
Look at the talent they have assembled and tell me they shouldn’t be dominating the West.
*looks at talent*
They shouldn’t be dominating the West. :P
Just kidding, andrew! They should be dominating 3 through 15.
At least one of you will be defensive! Har!
Just kidding, Heather. :D
No, Patty, in Soupy’s case that is perfectly justified! (And funny!)
andrew, those are masterpieces! You should publish a book of hockey haikus.
“Here’s your present: GO SHARKS, BEAT THE WINGS! :D”
Thanks! You know…the Sabres are playing the Wings this weekend…Might as well cheer for them too. Just sayin’!
“They shouldn’t be dominating the West. :P”
Ouch! Whatever Patty, I can’t wait for Ribiero to fake his first injury when the playoffs roll around!
“andrew, those are masterpieces! You should publish a book of hockey haikus.”
Thanks Pookie! Think Meg can get me a book deal?
Thanks! You know…the Sabres are playing the Wings this weekend…Might as well cheer for them too. Just sayin’!
Well, that’s a given. I cheer for anyone playing the Red Wings except divisional opponents, and I just cheered for a divisional team that’s got two players that I loathe. Feel special!
Also, I think, per our agreement, this might mean you finally have to start that blog, andrew. I’m not sure. I have to dig through comment threads.
Whatever Patty, I can’t wait for Ribiero to fake his first injury when the playoffs roll around!
Hey! That’s so…It’s just…GAH …I don’t have a snappy comeback on Patty’s behalf here. I’m sorry, I suck. :(
Hey y’all.
I feel much better about last night’s game. Writing hate mail on your blog to your team in the middle of the night seems to help.
I’m glad Big Bear and Soupy seem to be working out for their new teams. I’ve decided I like Petting Zoo. He’s speedy. Good PKer. And pretty.
Whatever Patty, I can’t wait for Ribiero to fake his first injury when the playoffs roll around!
Keep waitin’!
(How’s that for snappy?) :D
I had a haiku all ready that I made up in the car, then realized it was 7-5-7. I haven’t had much practice at it, obviously.
Think Meg can get me a book deal?
I wish!
I can’t wait for Ribiero to fake his first injury when the playoffs roll around!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! BURN!!! (And how about the next, what? Four years, is it? Before his next contract year? :P)
“…and I just cheered for a divisional team that’s got two players that I loathe. Feel special!”
I know! I do!!
“Writing hate mail on your blog to your team in the middle of the night seems to help.”
Poor Canucks, incurring the wrath of the Giraffe.
“I wish!”
We’ll talk, Meg. I got all these ideas! 460 page manuscript, coming your way!
He seems to still be finishing out this contract year, even though he’s already signed. Racking up the assists now.
I know! I do!!
Gah, and now you owe me a blog! A blog! :D
And how about the next, what? Four years, is it? Before his next contract year?
Um…four years, yes. We signed him to Bucky’s Blue Plate 5/$25 million Special, or whatever it is that one calls that deal that sends Bucky Gleason into spasms of joe.
joe.
Joy, even.
:facedesk:
“Poor Canucks, incurring the wrath of the Giraffe.”
Hee! The Giraffe was pissed.
I’m gonna try the haiku thing. This will be my first, so be gentle. :D
Boucher is still here
Ev’rything else is good but
Brad’s debut trumps his
(Is that cheating? Is it the spoken haiku that is supposed to have the syllable rhythm, or the written one?) (Because who says Ev-er-ry-thing?)
Bucky’s Blue Plate 5/$25 million Special
Hee!
“Gah, and now you owe me a blog! A blog! :D”
Some day, some day…
“We signed him to Bucky’s Blue Plate 5/$25 million Special”
I like that! You know the Sabres could have signed everyone on their roster for 5 years $25m. Everyone. ever.
learn to clear a puck
you fuckers are sleeping on
the bikes tonight
I can’t do haikus!
It’s funny, though, alix! :D
Thanks Patty :D
I like it alix!
Patty, yours was good too! I don’t say ev-er-ry-thing, so I say it counts.
Is it the spoken haiku that is supposed to have the syllable rhythm, or the written one?)
I think you’re good, Patty! It looks lovely to me. Here, I’ll even try a new one with you:
Juicy Fruit is gone
No more big pants billowing
for Dallas Stars now
:(
Or
Our Swedish goalie
looks demented and sad, yeah
He’s gone by year-end
Hello, Tobias Stephan….we hope.
You’re good at it, Caitlin!
Poor Juicy.
Some day, some day…
This is the last time I come to an agreement with you, ha! (Just kidding. :D Seriously though, my hatred of the Red Wings is growing everyday. Sorry, Steph. It’s to the point where I am actively wishing for JR to score on them. Like, JR netting the game-winner. This is how much I am passionately in loathing with the Red Wings.)
Brad makes lots of dough
I hope he’s good in shootouts
Because Juicy’s gone
I’m pretty anxious for this game tonight. Like I haiku’ed, I’m a little peeved that Brad is making his debut on the same night that Bouche is making his triumphant return to AAC.
Like I haiku’ed, I’m a little peeved that Brad is making his debut on the same night that Bouche is making his triumphant return to AAC.
I’m sorry, Patty! If it’s any consolation, I’m just thrilled that Boucher is playing at home again. Jen, Cat & I all wished that we had picked up tickets to this game since it was Boucher’s first game back.
And great, now I’m THINKING in haiku.
A Russian’s best friend
is an allimagator.
Cameramen, beware.
Hee!
I’m late to the party, but those Hank haikus were brilliant, andrew.
Devs backup goalie
Needs a new job description
Player or bookend?
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
I call it “Ode to Goose”
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
I call it “Ode to Goose”
Okay, THAT is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Giggy’s pads to shrink
What will happen I wonder?
Swiss cheese or just Whine?
“I’m late to the party, but those Hank haikus were brilliant, andrew.”
Thanks Amy! Who do you want? I’ll try to write one for you…
The “Ode to Goose” is the best Haiku I’ve ever seen.
Goose saves the planet
Recycle cans and bottles
Blue and gold make green
Giggy’s pads to shrink
What will happen I wonder?
Swiss cheese or just Whine?
Awesome!
Pronger is just tall
The rules don’t apply to him
Somebody punch him
Goose is so awesome
He’ll punch anyone’s face in
Even Ovechkin
Somebody punch him
Someone did give him a hairline fracture in his jaw though, did you see that? :D
Go buy a new crib
And stay out of Alberta
You gap-toothed bastard
Go buy a new crib
And stay out of Alberta
You gap-toothed bastard
ANDREW FOR THE WIN
Andrew, uh, you should start a hockey haiku blog!
Ooh! A hockey haiku blog is a great idea! Just a haiku a day. Like Dilbert or something.
“Andrew, uh, you should start a hockey haiku blog!”
You start it and I’ll contribute. Sound good?!
Someone did give him a hairline fracture in his jaw though, did you see that? :D
Dealing with Pronger?
Make it look accidental
That’s Zubie’s advice
This haiku thing is fun!
Andrew, uh, you should start a hockey haiku blog!
andrew, you should! You’ve already written something like two weeks worth of entries!
You could have guest haiku-ers, andrew! One a day from you, and one guest-er.
Look at all this pressure, andrew!
You start it and I’ll contribute. Sound good?!
Hmm. I think the others are clamoring for you to have a blog of your very, very own, andrew! :D
It’s okay, andrew, you don’t have to!
(I’m thinking of doing it myself and not giving Caitlin credit for the idea. :D Then if you ever do, I’ll get all huffy because you stole my idea.)
“Then if you ever do, I’ll get all huffy because you stole my idea.”
That’s the beauty of the internet!
andrew, you’re on fire! The Ode to Goose was so good it made me cry.
A few years ago some Yankees and Red Sox fans did a contest of Dice-K related haikus. The best one was:
D-Mat is to Hub
As Hideki is to Bronx?
Not Godzilla, Toad.
I think you Pronger one just beat out that as the funniest sports haiku I’ve ever seen.
“I think you Pronger one just beat out that as the funniest sports haiku I’ve ever seen.”
Aww shucks, I was just trying to be the best Pronger-hating Haiku writer that I could possibly be. Thanks, Pookie.
Caps make many moves
But we don’t understand why
They brought in a corpse
I like to think that my Pronger haikus were the wind beneath the wings of andrew’s. :P
Matty is a Swede
who likes the number three
and cabs in yellow colour
Not a haiku. I thought I’d free style.
I tried to come up with a haiku about Happy Meals and his bruised foot (which, by the way, the X-ray came back clean, so he had BETTER be back in the game Saturday against Nashville), but I couldn’t think of anything. Besides, anything I write would not top the Pronger haikus and “Ode to Goose”.
(I’m thinking of doing it myself and not giving Caitlin credit for the idea. :D Then if you ever do, I’ll get all huffy because you stole my idea.)
Hmph, I’ll sue! :D
I thought I’d free style.
Hey, if that’s how you roll! I’m not that great at haikus. I like your freestyle, alix. :D
“I like to think that my Pronger haikus were the wind beneath the wings of andrew’s. :P”
Of course!
Did you all read Rudy’s post today? Freaking hysterical. I love the Ivanans/Parker comparison. Too funny. Man, I miss Scott Parker.
Acorns are abound
Fake moustaches in full flight
Devils have arrived
Matty is a Swede
who likes the number three
and cabs in yellow colour
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The reason that isn’t a haiku is that it’s TOO GOOD to be a haiku. That just made my afternoon. Hilarious, alix!
Acorns are abound
Fake moustaches in full flight
Devils have arrived
Ooooh, andrew, such an elegant, evocative haiku for the Devils! And there weren’t enough syllables left to say anything about killing hockey, too. That makes it extra-special.
Minus tewnty four
Being booed by Philly fans
Miss Buffalo yet?
Jochen is broken.
His groin still aches something fierce.
No Montreal game.
Here you go Schnookie, per your request! (sort of)
Invented the trap
Soul killing, defensive play
Is hockey dead yet?
Boyhood dream, really?
On the third line with Jagr
Ha ha ha ha ha
Minus tewnty four
Being booed by Philly fans
Miss Buffalo yet?
That reminds me of Bryz.
Ducktales in Russian;
Darkwing Duck is a hero;
That’s how Bryz rolls, yo.
Andrew, that’s brilliantly brutal.
Crunchy’s new ice cream
Chocolate and raspberries
Yummy yum yum yum
Omigoodgod. I thought today couldn’t get any better, but then it went and did.
The haikus are SPECTACULAR. I love them all (and I’m not joining. I only do “conventional” poetry)
“That reminds me of Bryz.”
Awesome.
Amy, I read your post yesterday and it made me want to be in Buffalo, just to try Crunchy’s new ice cream flavor.
Bryz is in Phoenix
Like panties on a hooker
They’ll hang him out
Bryz is in Phoenix
Like panties on a hooker
They’ll hang him out
Can I refuse that one?
Boyhood dream, really?
On the third line with Jagr
Ha ha ha ha ha
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
“Can I refuse that one?”
Did you see his knob hockey episode?
Did you see his knob hockey episode?
I have, and I laughed myself silly. But they score fucking goals for him in Phoenix (sometimes…)
“Bryz is in Phoenix
Like panties on a hooker
They’ll hang him out”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Bryz and his toasters
Bringing Phoenix out of last
Shut door, don’t piss pants
Andrew, you are a king among men. You truly are.
Marty loves his Sprite
Not his paternity suits
Keep it in your pants
andrew, I’m telling you! Hockey haiku blog! I’ll even set it up for you! All you have to do is post the damn things!
My mother just e-mailed me to verify that “that nice fellow Juici Jokenan got sent away” but wants to make sure “Mister Mittens” is staying.
I heart my mom. :D
All you have to do is post the damn things!
If it really comes to it, he wouldn’t even have to do that. I’d take time out of my day (aka, those 5 minutes for the copy paste) and post them for him. Just email!
andrew, I’m telling you! Hockey haiku blog! I’ll even set it up for you! All you have to do is post the damn things!
The people have spoken, andrew! See! I’ve been telling you ALL THIS TIME!
My mother just e-mailed me to verify that “that nice fellow Juici Jokenan got sent away” but wants to make sure “Mister Mittens” is staying.
I heart my mom. :D
That so awesome!
I heart your mom too, Caitlin! “Mister Mittens” makes me ridiculously happy.
That so awesome!
Mom expresses great relief over Mittens staying and says she is glad, because he is “such a sweet boy”.
(She was very happy that he signed a mini stick for her. She didn’t even care about the other 20+ signatures on it. Just Mittens.)
Hee! Caitlin’s mum is adorable.
Oh my gosh! The Marty one!! :^:::::::::::::::: Andrew’s big book of hockey haikus must happen. Or blog. At least.
Forsberg’s back again
Hope they got replacement spleens
For that drama queen
“I heart your mom too, Caitlin! “Mister Mittens” makes me ridiculously happy.”
That is pretty damn funny. Doesn’t sound like a hockey player’s name, sounds like a pet cat!
She was very happy that he signed a mini stick for her. She didn’t even care about the other 20+ signatures on it. Just Mittens.
Man, I adore your mom.
Speaking of adorable moms, dad told me today that ever since I told her what the Penguins did on trade day, she refuses to wear her Penguins hat. I thought that was cute!
Andrew, dude. Stop. You’re making my stomach hurt from laughing.
Devs scoring slumping
Hatcher saliva booster
Shots needed – hurry!
andrew, I need one more about Bryz, but work in “Woops, forgot about-a glove.”
You were totally on fire, there, andrew, but I’m fairly certain you’ll find no paternity suits in Marty’s past. Messy divorce? Absolutely. But paternity suits? You’re thinking of Mark Messier and Jason Arnott. Don’t mind me, I’m just playing the role of Haiku Genius Fact-Checker.
Also, alix, your free form Matty poem killed me!
I’m fairly certain you’ll find no paternity suits in Marty’s past. Messy divorce? Absolutely.
I thought so too but I didn’t want to say just in case I was wrong.
Bryz in Canada:
“Why you gotta be so mean?”
Minus 20 sucks.
As far as we know Marty didn’t keep it in his pants but prevented the paternity suits.
“I’m fairly certain you’ll find no paternity suits in Marty’s past. Messy divorce? Absolutely”
Huh…I thought he had fathered at least one illegitimate child. Ah well. Can’t win ‘em all.
I thought so too but I didn’t want to say just in case I was wrong.
Yeah, I worried about that for a second or two, too, but then decided Marty’s other indescretions have been, let’s say, less than secret, so I figure I probably would have heard about a paternity suit. If I’m wrong, I’ll be the first to admit it! (In this case. And this case only.)
That is pretty damn funny. Doesn’t sound like a hockey player’s name, sounds like a pet cat!
Yeah, pretty much. When we came back from the game where they handed out yearbooks, my mom flipped to Mittens’ page, looked at me and said, “Anti Mittens? That’s his name? ANTI MITTENS?”
So we had to pronounce his name a couple times, and then I think she just deemed it easier to call him “Mr. Mittens”.
andrew, I adore the Forsberg one. Awesome! :D
Don’t get beat five hole
Whoops, forgot about a glove
Bryz is quite a kook
Can’t win ‘em all.
Hey, the haiku still rocked! Keep ‘em coming! I’m stuck here at work until 9:00 tonight, so I need something to keep me going! Come on, dancing monkey, dance! :)
Long Trade Deadline Day
A vacation day next year
Plus plenty of booze
Actually, to be fair(er) to Messier, it wasn’t quite a paternity suit. He acknowledged paternity. He just paid her practically nothing in child support and she had to sue him in court in NYC to get him to increase it when they discovered his (now treasured) oldest son had a rather severe learning disability and she wanted to put him in a private school where he’d have a better chance to get some help, she couldn’t afford it and she wanted the father to spend some $$ on it.
Ahhh! The NHL fined Burr for starting that scrum on Saturday! Downey was the one that jabbed him with his stick. It’s not Burr’s fault Downey’s all sensitive about his potato farm.
Marty’s other indescretions have been, let’s say, less than secret, so I figure I probably would have heard about a paternity suit. If I’m wrong, I’ll be the first to admit it!
I’d be willing to admit I was wrong too. I was talking to A.Oil about Marty last week and we decided we love him partly because he doesn’t make a secret of the fact that he has screwed up, keeping it in his pants-wise. We figured we appreciate the honesty.
Richards to Dallas
Seven point eight million bucks
Expensive handcuffs
Messier = douche
Messier = douche
As in a shower type douche because he’s always crying or the other kind of douche?
I guess both, Mags :D
Peters scored a goal
Just like a birthday party
Comes just once a year
Long Trade Deadline Day
A vacation day next year
Plus plenty of booze
Patty, that’s such an inspiring haiku! I’m going to print it out and put it up at work so I remember to take Deadline Day off next year, too. And to remember to stock up on booze!
Richards to Dallas
Seven point eight million bucks
Expensive handcuffs
Playoffs his forte
If that’s true, he’ll be worth it
I just hope it’s true
Playoffs his forte
If that’s true, he’ll be worth it
I just hope it’s true
You’ve come so far, Patty!
And to remember to stock up on booze!
Because booze shortages are such a common problem for us!
Playoffs his forte.
Wait? We’re talking about Hossa?
Oops! My bad! Heh heh.
Baby Crunchy won
La Coupe Stanley with the Ducks
Older Brother sad
Good one, Amy! Going back to Crunchy’s ice cream for a second, though — shouldn’t it have yogurt covered raisins in it? Or at least something, you know, crunchy?
Good one, Amy! Going back to Crunchy’s ice cream for a second, though — shouldn’t it have yogurt covered raisins in it? Or at least something, you know, crunchy?
There will be fudge chunks in the ice cream, but they didn’t fit into the haiku.
Thanks, Pookie! Can you remind me, too?
Crunchy eats something as fattening as fudge? I don’t believe it.
Playoffs his forte.
Wait? We’re talking about Hossa?
Oops! My bad! Heh heh.
Hossa’s playoff record
Is so famously lacking
Richard’s not so much
Playoffs his forte.
Wait? We’re talking about Hossa?
Oops! My bad! Heh heh.
Hossa’s playoff record
Is so famously lacking
Richards’ not so much
Woops. I guess I didn’t stop it in time. Sorry for the double post. Had a typo.
And shoot! I wanna fix it again. Changed it and made it worse. Here’s the first one.
Hossa’s playoff wont
Is so famously lacking
Richards’ not so much
(I’m a terrible overthinker.)
You want me to delete the previous two? :)
Had a typo.
For shame!
Patty, you’re like a haiku editor!
Richards to Dallas
Seven point eight million bucks
Expensive handcuffs
Seven point eight mil
Not so bad when bald Swede goes
bye-bye to other team.
andrew, you should send your 460 page manuscript to Patty before it gets sent to Meg’s desk.
You want me to delete the previous two? :)
Thanks, but then the one were I fret about how I had to do it three times will just look silly. :P
Crunchy eats something as fattening as fudge? I don’t believe it.
I know! Considering the ice cream is inspired by his likes, I don’t know whether I’m more shocked by the dark chocolate, the raspberries or the fudge chunks.
I’m so jealous of all your great haiku talents.
I don’t know whether I’m more shocked by the dark chocolate, the raspberries or the fudge chunks.
The dark chocolate and the raspberries somehow suit him. The fudge chunks though, that’s just odd from a guy who looks like he needs to be forcefed a village’s worth of sammiches.
I used “wont” but for some reason thought it was only four syllables. Then when I saw the other one in print (twice) I realized I had added a syllable for no reason.
This is why it takes me 4 hours to write and publish a post.
This is why it takes me 4 hours to write and publish a post.
And that’s why your posts are so quality. Also, that’s why the NYT picked you. They actually did ask us but when they found out a game diary only takes 3 hours, they said, “I’m sorry, you’re not NYT material.” :P
Thornton to Cheechoo
Lethal combination but
Not in the playoffs
Flyer injuries
Karmic convergence or just
Stupid physicians?
Playoffs are so hard
Lots of players suck at it
So just one team wins
They actually did ask us but when they found out a game diary only takes 3 hours, they said, “I’m sorry, you’re not NYT material.” :P
:^:::::::::::::
You’re such amateurs, -Ookies. Amateurs!
Thornton to Cheechoo
Lethal combination but
Not in the playoffs
So beautiful, sad.
Andrew’s haikus make me cry.
Poor San Jose fan.
They actually did ask us but when they found out a game diary only takes 3 hours, they said, “I’m sorry, you’re not NYT material.” :P
That’s a bad reason. But there’s really no good reason.
Heather, did you watch Bernier’s Shark Byte clip yet? It’s just him showing how he does his “power move” but his accent, of course, makes it funny.
That’s a bad reason. But there’s really no good reason.
Aw, you know I was just joking! I can’t pass up a good NYT needling.
That’s what I mean! There’s no good reason to leave you off the list!
(I knew you were joking. Didn’t meant to sound offended. :D @@@)
Dude, I love French accents.
I knew you were joking. Didn’t meant to sound offended. :D
No, no, I should send @@@@ for sounding like I whiny-whinester! Let’s call the whole thing off, shall we?
Dude, I love French accents.
Quoi?
Let’s call the whole thing off, shall we?
Tomato… :P
Quoi?
Observez le vidéo.
Tomato… :P
Tomato? Tomato?!? For gosh’s sake, Patty, it’s tomato! *throws hands up in air*
andrew, I went trolling for videos last night but missed that one! Thanks! He’s adorable! So adorable!
Observez le vidéo.
Je suis desolée, j’ai pensé que vous étiez <>. Je ne peux pas comprendre choses correctement. Je suis spécial.
.
It got rid of my text! It made it go away! That’s amazing.
Random, is what that should read.
“I went trolling for videos last night but missed that one! Thanks!”
You’re welcome! I know you have to catch up on the new guy…just figured I should help. (he has another Shark Byte segment where he’s deflecting shots, it’s pretty good too)
“Je suis desolée, j’ai pensé que vous étiez . Je ne peux pas comprendre choses correctement. Je suis spécial.”
Lady, I speak two languages: English and bad English.
Lady, I speak two languages: English and bad English.
Nice to know we’re quoting the Fifth Element here! BIIIIG bada-boom!
That says: I’m sorry, I thought you were being random. I can’t understand things correctly. I’m special. :D
Lady, I speak two languages: English and bad English.
She said sorry for not understanding, she thought I was… something. And she’s special. But we already knew that :P
“Nice to know we’re quoting the Fifth Element here! BIIIIG bada-boom!”
Chicken!
“That says: I’m sorry, I thought you were being random. I can’t understand things correctly. I’m special. :D”
It’s cool, I wasn’t too worried about it….just thought it was a good time to quote the Fifth Element (when is it NOT a good time?)
Oh, I’m random. Yeah, that went missing.
I think random is like aléatoire, but that sounds awful formal to me. Arbitraire might be better.
she thought I was… something.
I went to put quotation marks around with with the < keys and it disappeared! It ate my text! :D
So beautiful, sad.
Andrew’s haikus make me cry.
Poor San Jose fan.
This is an awesome haiku. I missed it, reread it and went, “Oh, man that’s rad.” I don’t even know why, I’m just all like, “That’s the epitome of feeling bad for another fan.” :(
I think random is like aléatoire, but that sounds awful formal to me. Arbitraire might be better.
Arbitraire sounds about right. I never ran into aléatoire, though.
….just thought it was a good time to quote the Fifth Element (when is it NOT a good time?)
It’s always a good time, always! The Fifth Element is one of my favorite movies of ALL TIME, no lie.
I always love Zorg’s speech about cold-blooded killers. I’m probably also biased because I love Gary Oldman.
“This is an awesome haiku. I missed it, reread it and went, “Oh, man that’s rad.” ”
It was a powerful haiku. Stupid Sharks
“I’m probably also biased because I love Gary Oldman”
I think we’ve discussed this before….I think Gary Oldman is great!
I never ran into aléatoire, though.
Yeah, that’s why I’m not buying it either. I looked random up in my dictionary and that’s what it gave me, but I’ve never used it so whatev.
I love Gary Oldman.
Ah, good ole Gary. I kind of unreasonably loved him in Léon.
Lady, I speak two languages: English and bad English.
HAhahahaha!
I love that movie.
Ah, good ole Gary. I kind of unreasonably loved him in Léon.
He is amazing times five thousand in Léon. The Mozart speech and the pills get me.
I looked random up in my dictionary and that’s what it gave me, but I’ve never used it so whatev.
Man, I hate French sometimes. My brother-in-law says one thing, dictionaries say another…I used to work with someone that grew up speaking Cajun French and they used to use words I never heard before in my entire life…gah.
Anyways, I am gone for a while, see some of y’all later!
(Just to be clear, I didn’t know that’s where it was from until Caitlin pointed it out, but then it all came back to me.)
(Also, I can’t remember any other lines.)
Bye Caitlin!
Go New Stars!
See ya Caitlin.
“Just to be clear, I didn’t know that’s where it was from until Caitlin pointed it out, but then it all came back to me.”
At least you’re honest.
Negative. I am a meat popsicle.
“Negative. I am a meat popsicle.”
Everyone…that was another line from the movie. I was not making a random declaration. Y’know, just so we’re clear.
Negative. I am a meat popsicle.
Hee hee!
See you later Caitlin!
Was the movie Fifth Element? I’m going out to rent a bunch of movies to watch over the weekend so I might as well pick it up.
I gotcha, andrew! Just saw something shiny, so I was late.
“Was the movie Fifth Element?”
Yep. It’s a good one. It’s a sci-fi-love story-action-comedy. I recommend it.
Everyone…that was another line from the movie. I was not making a random declaration. Y’know, just so we’re clear.
Heh. I figured as much. :D
a guy who looks like he needs to be forcefed a village’s worth of sammiches.
I’m late to the party again, but my mother saw Crunchy at the grocery store tonight. He was standing in the checkout line in front of her. She told me he’s better looking in person than he is on TV, and he had actual food in his little basket that was draped over his arm.
That’s right, my mother had a Crunchy-piphany that had nothing to do with his on ice performance.
Sigh.
Ok, I just saw the Dallas game is on TV tonight so I’m going to nap before the game. See you crazy grownups at 8:30 (7:30… 5:30… whatever)
Did your mom report on what Crunchy was buying, Amy? That’s SO EXCITING! (Oh, and I meant to mention ages ago — maybe I did on your blog when you first brought it up there? I can’t remember anything anymore… — Crunchy’s ice cream sounds delicious. If you know what I mean. Dark chocolate and raspberry is my fav flav, too. He and I are meant for each other.)
Did your mom report on what Crunchy was buying, Amy? That’s SO EXCITING!
Some side dishes from the prepared foods area and something wrapped in butcher paper. So apparently Crunchy can handle meat, but needs help in the side dish area.
So apparently Crunchy can handle meat, but needs help in the side dish area.
That’s what she said!
(Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)
I am now totally fascinated by the thought of Crunchy shopping the prepared food cases. I bet he gets a really sour face looking at most of the stuff and snorts, “That’s something Goose would eat. That’s for fatsos.”
I bet Crunchy eats like a bird. Those side dishes represent a month’s worth of food.
Crunchy’s totally looking at his quarter-pint of steamed lima beans right now and thinking, “Well, I’ll get at least six meals out of this…”
That’s what she said!
As soon as I hit submit, I realized that could be construed differently than I intended it to.
“That’s something Goose would eat. That’s for fatsos.”
That coming from the guy that has his own ice cream flavor.
The thing is, the grocery store in question has really, really good side dishes. When I was there yesterday, they had mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, squash with cranberries and spinach and roasted root veggies. All reasonably healthy stuff.
So apparently Crunchy can handle meat, but needs help in the side dish area.
That’s what she said!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, man, that’s going to keep me going for the final 2 hours of work. My dancing haiku monkey seems to have stopped dancing.
As soon as I hit submit, I realized that could be construed differently than I intended it to.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
As for Crunchy’s ice cream flavor, he probably agreed to do it to raise money for Steadfast, and said, “Just pick something that tastes good to fatsos. I’ve never eaten ice cream, so I wouldn’t know what’s supposedly ‘good.’”
And it doesn’t matter how healthy the side dishes are — he still gets on Goose about him eating any of it. :P
My dancing haiku monkey seems to have stopped dancing.
Haiku monkey
is dancing no longer, and
how sadness abounds.
Yeah, I’m um, spent on the haikus too. At least that’s what I think you were saying, perhaps.
“My dancing haiku monkey seems to have stopped dancing.”
You rang?
Sorry, I got busy! I’ll kick out one more for you before I go, who should it be about?
“And it doesn’t matter how healthy the side dishes are — he still gets on Goose about him eating any of it.”
Except pate…he sadistically allows Goose to have all the pate he wants. They have relationship issues.
Except pate…he sadistically allows Goose to have all the pate he wants. They have relationship issues.
Yeah, Crunchy really is a monster. Poor Goose.
I’ll kick out one more for you before I go, who should it be about?
Bryce Salvador!
Just kidding.
Jathon Thpetha’s gweat
The Thenators will be gweat
Don’t waff at my lithp
Submitted by Coach Murray
And with that, I’m outta here. See you guys all later! Have a good night.
andrew, going out with a bang! NICE!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Holy crap, andrew! That’s amazing!
HOLY CRAP! is right! andrew is a MASTER!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Long Trade Deadline Day
A vacation day next year
Plus plenty of booze
Patty, that’s such an inspiring haiku! I’m going to print it out and put it up at work so I remember to take Deadline Day off next year, too. And to remember to stock up on booze!
pookie, remember that 1 july 08 is on a tuesday, cause you’ll be waiting with all kinds of trepidation wondering which club will sign karl rachunek to a 5 year no trade contract…lol…so you’ll wanna take that whole day off also :-)
I feel like we should just pack in and close up shop here at IPB since we’re never going to be able to top that Murray haiku.
pookie, remember that 1 july 08 is on a tuesday
I’m putting my vacation request in now!
which club will sign karl rachunek to a 5 year no trade contract
But, whatever will the Devils do without 9 d-men?!?
Andrew, I bow before you. That is a true masterpiece!
Well, Brad Richards seems to have had a fairly good first shift.
remember that 1 july 08 is on a tuesday, cause you’ll be waiting with all kinds of trepidation wondering which club will sign karl rachunek to a 5 year no trade contract…lol…so you’ll wanna take that whole day off also
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Oh man! Good times, don, good times! (Of course, Rachunek now has a “Devils d-man” pedigree, which makes him a zillion times more valuable, right?)
…And Brad Richards gets his first point as a Dallas Star on an assist.
Hm. The AAC went a little crazy when they announced it.
I’m likin’ this Richards guy.
I’m likin’ this Richards guy.
If he sets up Mittens for a goal, then I’m totally okay with him.
So far, wrong Finnja, Richards.
Hagman is NEVER the wrong Finnja! :P
[...] the spirit of IPB’s Poetry Minute, I’m going to start with a haiku about last night’s game, and how it’s probably [...]