Since the moment we heard the news of the big Janssen trade on Tuesday morning, we’ve been eagerly awaiting Bryce Salvador’s appearance in the Devils lineup. For starters, conventional wisdom says you can’t really consider yourself a serious Cup contender until you’ve got nine D-men, which we do now, so that’s a big positive. But another thing we’ve been looking forward to is the possibility that our newest guy has a kick-ass nickname. We’re not great at bestowing nicknames ourselves, you see, so we’re often stuck, while writing game diaries, having to fall back on the typically lame nicknames that permeate our favorite sport, and especially our favorite team. Colin White is “Whitey”. Andy Greene is “Greener”. Hell, half our team just gets nicknamed their first names: Marty, Zach, Travis, Patty, Paulie. Sheesh. The Devils don’t even seem to be trying. Well, as we were biding our time, waiting for the big Salvador unveiling, we got to discussing, in IM, what we hoped he’d be called.
Schnookie: I’m betting his nickname is “Scrap Iron”.
Pookie: I’m going for “Death To Flying Objects”.
Schnookie: “The Iron Boar”! “Battleship Bryce”! Or “Battleaxe Bryce”. Or just “Battleaxe”.
Pookie: I say “Ballerina Bryce”. “Bubbling Backward Bryce”.
Schnookie: “No Surrender Salvador”.
Pookie: “No Quarter Salvador”. He’d naturally turn that into “No Quadrant Salvador”.
Schnookie: He’ll fit right in as “No Quadrant Salvador”.
Schnookie: I love it!
Pookie: “The Canyon”.
Schnookie: “The Canyon”?
Pookie: Bryce. Bryce Canyon.
Schnookie: Well… it was lost on me, but… we don’t share a brain or anything…
Pookie: You’re stupid.
Schnookie: “The Mermaid”! Just kidding. That’s Marty.
Schnookie: “The Grist Grinder”.
Schnookie: “Hey You! New Guy!”
Schnookie: “The Reaper”.
Schnookie: “The Guy Who Wears 24 Now”.
Pookie: “Not Stevenson”! “Not-Odelein”!
Schnookie: “The Manitoba Mangler”.
Pookie: “The Manitoba Rocket”.
Schnookie: I think we’re setting ourselves up for a fall with that one.
Pookie: I like “The Iron Boar”.
Schnookie: Me too.
Thanks to Tom Gulitti’s investigative journalism today, we need IM about this topic no more. Salvador’s nickname, shockingly, is “Sal”. Um, TG? We think there’s a typo there. You forgot the “The Iron Boar” part. His nickname is “Sal, The Iron Boar”, right?