Gentle Reader, we owe you an apology. A big, fat, Donut-Marty-sized apology. We’ve been letting IPB go. Since the Devils’ loss we’ve let ourselves be overwhelmed by the overall sucktitude of the teams and storylines left in the playoffs, and we’ve allowed ourselves to wallow in bitter misery, bitter boredom, and bitter depression. Did we mention we’re bitter? We’ve been doing the blog equivalent of sitting in our pajamas all day on the couch, eating ice cream out of the carton and watching made-for-TV movies on Lifetime. We’re in a downward spiral that simply has to stop. For our sakes and for IPB’s.
The good news is that we know what it is we need to do to break this cycle of despair. That’s right, Gentle Reader — we need to strap on our playoff goggles…
… Get liquored up…
… And learn to love these playoffs.
This means as soon as the Rangers are out, we’ll be back in the saddle with game diaries.
This means we’re not ashamed that we’re cheering for the Flyers in the East.
This means we’re nurturing that nascent playoff-goggles crush on Tomas Holmstrom.
This means we’re going to try to figure out what some of the Stars actually look like. (Except Robidas. There ain’t goggles enough in the world for him.)
This means we’re looking for the good stories even in the teams we’ve decided we don’t like, just in case. (Except the Rangers. There ain’t goggles enough in the world for them, either.)
This means we’re not going to respond to the “wrong” teams winning by immediately whining about how much everything sucks. (Unless the Rangers win. That would suck.)
This means we’re going to fight “this sucks” with, “Yeah, well, let’s talk about the ’95, ’00, and ’03 playoffs instead, shall we?”
This means we’ll be mindful that after June there will be no hockey on TV until October and that in the meantime we should be like Native Americans and use all of the proverbial meat, sinew, and skin the Hockey Gods have provided us.
This means we’ll be having fun.*
*We reserve the right to renege on all these promises if the Rangers win. But that was a given anyway.
