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Western Conference Final Game 1

WOOOO HOOOOO! After three terrible nights, the playoffs are back! We never would have thought we’d be so happy to see the VS studio guys again. Less surprising than that, though, is how happy we are to see Doc again. It looks like hockey… It sounds like hockey… Must be hockey!

Edzo really earns his paycheck when Doc asks him to pick players from each team who were key in the second round and he goes off the charts by picking Franzen and Morrow. Thanks for the hard-hitting analysis, Eddie. After a bit of time filler about those two and a short interview with Morrow, VS sends us to commercial with some of those HD studio close-ups of stars from both teams: Zetterberg, Datsyuk, Richards, and Ribiero. Ribs looks so much like Clifton Collins, Jr. in his shot that Pookie reaches for the timeworn Tigerland reference, “No really. I’m a butcher.” Don’t let your meat loaf, Ribs! (We say it every time we see him. And we laugh like it’s never been said before each time, too. Because we’re cool that way.)

Okay, those “Messin’ With Sasquatch” commercials didn’t have to come back.

When we come back from commercial, Doc informs us this game is available in HD, “the same shape as the surface this game is played on.” We love Doc more than anything, but… huh?

FIRST PERIOD

19:22 Pookie, slowly and stunned: “I don’t think I’ve really paid any attention to the Red Wings this season. I had completely forgotten they had Rafalski. And I had no idea he was wearing 28. He looks totally different.”

18:49 The Stars come out like gangbusters for the first shift, buzzing around the Detroit zone and just failing to connect on a couple of good chances. The whole affair leads to a Kronwall penalty that VS doesn’t see fit to tell us what it’s for, or show us a replay. Would it kill VS to pretend like it knows how to televise hockey now? They’ve been doing it for three years, so there’s really no excuse.

17:32 We get a closeup look at Raffie before a neutral-zone faceoff, and we agree that he looks like a little kid playing dress-up in his Detroit uni.

17:09 A broken play becomes a tic-tac-toe passing sequence in the Wings zone thanks to some sassy puck pursuit by the Stars, but ultimately the shot is deflected up over the glass.

16:37 The power play comes to an end and all of a sudden Detroit is up the ice in the blink of an eye and ripping a shot. Pookie states the obvious: “The Wings are fast.”

16:15 Norstrom shows off that he is, as advertised, a stiff, and fails to defend legally on a two-on-one, putting the Wings on the PP. It’s beginning to feel like the Stars kind of missed their big chance in this game by failing to convert on theirs. We’re puzzled by the organ music choice at the Joe – Pookie asks, “Why are they playing the Darth Vader theme for their own power play?”

15:41 What the hell? Fistric challenges Holmstrom after the play is stopped in the Dallas zone, then Ott skates in and gets a couple of jabs in on Holmstrom after the officials have broken things up. Fistric goes to the box for roughing. We would fully support giving the Wings a two-man advantage for the shots from Ott, but on what planet was the Fistric exchange roughing? Yeah, it’s just semantics, considering the Stars should be going down another man anyway, but Fistric doesn’t deserve to be the goat on this one.

15:32 If we were coaching the Stars, right now we’d be writing notes to ourselves for our game plan that go something like, “Don’t put the Wings on a 5-on-3.” Lidstrom’s shot from the high point beats Turco but kicks hard off the pipe, and Raffie is there to fire the rebound through a screen and in. 1-0 Detroit.

12:25 We get a stoppage on a Stars icing (because they might have survived the rest of that PK, but they’re by no means back into this game right now), and Pookie cracks, “All these shots of Raffie are making me slip more and more into the Uncanny Valley.”

12:08 No sooner do we say the Stars are out of this already than they get a power play thanks to some Holmstrom interference. The replay VS shows us is of a later infraction on the delayed call, because apparently the director of tonight’s broadcast has never seen a hockey game before.

10:58 No sooner do we say that the Stars are back in this than they look panicky and disorganized on their PP and the Wings get a series of shorthanded chances. On the last of them, the Detroit forward is flattened while trying to unload his shot in the slot, and the fans boo for a penalty, because apparently they’ve never seen a hockey game before, either.

8:58 Did we say the Stars were back in this thanks to getting a power play? Because we lied.

6:47 We are sent to commercial with a lingering pan along the Wings bench, and Schnookie announces, “The thing about the Wings – and maybe it’s because they’re all Swedish – is that they all have such handsome playoff beards.”

6:04 The Wings seem to be cycling pretty well around a calm Dallas unit, not much going on, and then a whistle from center ice stops things when a Star touches the puck. The call is against Petersen for holding, according to Doc and Edzo, but when it looks like VS is going to cut to a replay to clarify the call for everyone who missed the infraction, they just cut to the dude in the studio to give us a rundown of what we can look forward to in the intermission show. This is becoming almost comically awful.

4:26 Newsflash – the Detroit power play is really good. Franzen tips a lovely high point shot from Kronwall past Turco on a patiently set-up play, and it’s 2-0 Red Wings. It feels like a much bigger lead than that, for how little puck possession the Stars have had.

3:34 VS shows off what a kick-ass job they’re doing of bringing us all the important news in this game by mentioning only now that Lehtinen has been in the dressing room for the better part of the period getting a cut near his eye tended to. Thanks for being on the ball, VS!

2:30 Richards floats slowly toward a drop-passed puck, and a Red Wing yoinks it from him without getting any kind of fight for it. Pookie: “Well that was just lazy. If I was Tippett, I’d be throwing some garbage cans at guys heads.”

1:30 Detroit gets possession deep in Dallas’s zone again thanks to a soft and lazy turnover in the high slot. As a result, Modano ends up taking a hooking penalty. This “taking all the penalties in the first period” thing sure worked a lot better for Dallas when their opponent couldn’t score for shit on their PP.

0:41 Huh. We wonder if Franzen has a nickname. Wait, they call him “The Mule”? Really? Who knew? (Pookie adds, after the backstory of the name is explained to us, “They also call him ‘The Mule’ because he can’t resist pulling barges.” Pause. “If you know what I mean.”

0:00 The buzzer sounds on the first period, and we can’t entirely decide what we’ve seen here so far. Schnookie states the obvious when she says that the Wings looked really, really good and the Stars looked really, really bad. Pookie suggests maybe the Stars looked that bad because they were faking not being able to skate well, as if perhaps they’re laying the groundwork for a “remarkable” comeback. Boomer thinks the entire Dallas lineup looks lost, and we ponder that maybe Detroit is already deep inside their heads. Regardless, that was 20 minutes of a serious mismatch.

FIRST INTERMISSION

We leave the TV muted during the break, which seems to feature a chatty profile of Marty Biron. Is there really any other kind? Schnookie spends the entire feature saying, “Which goalie who has been super so far in the playoffs do I expect to have the wheels fall off the hardest in this round? Hmm. Which one could it be? Which one…?”

SECOND PERIOD

19:24 The Stars finish off the end of the PK, and then Ott cranks a long shot on goal that forces Osgood to demonstrate that he did, in fact, bother coming back on the ice after the intermission. After the way the first period went, he probably wondered if he’d need to.

18:47 The Wings are back to wheeling around the Dallas zone, and the arena is really strangely quiet. Also, no one in the lower bowl has returned to their seats. It’s been said before in a lot of places, but really. “Hockeytown” our asses.

17:08 We watch the Stars getting outworked, and Pookie remarks, “They’re not giving any second effort at all. It’s almost as if they think a pack of hyenas wouldn’t try hard.”

16:39 The sideline guy tells us that Turco was cracking about not liking to drink cold water during games because of his sensitive teeth, and Edzo tries to sound all cool when he joke, “Yeah, the old freezer-brain.” Pause. “Or brainfreeze. Whatever.” Pookie: “Freezer-brain. It’s what the Devils defenders had a lot of this season.”

14:18 The few fans in their seats think the lead has just opened up even more when Zetterberg freezes Turco, then circles around behind the net and goes for a wraparound into the gaping goalmouth, but Turco gets back with his stick across the goal line, robbing Zetterberg and leaving the sparse crowd groaning in disbelief.

14:06 Swinging the other way up the ice, Hagman gets a breakaway and Osgood has to make a scrambling save to cover it up.

13:46 Ribs takes an unconscionably stupid hooking penalty at the Stars blue line. We are well-versed in this kind of game, Stars, so you can’t fool us into thinking that you’re actually trying. You are, as the Devils did so often this season, just pretending to try.

13:21 Well, it’s 3-0 now! The Stars do another half-assed job of trying to clear out the front of Turco’s crease, and Holmstrom is right there to set up a brutal screen and tip in a nice shot from Lidstrom just above the faceoff dot.

10:32 Dallas gets its first good shift since the opening of the first period, and the Wings respond by simply laying the two biggest hits of the game. If Detroit is going to be able to top every Dallas increase of energy with some more of their own, this is going to be a really short series.

9:38 We’re busy discussing how crappy the Stars have been about trying to give Turco chances to see the shots coming at him, and fail to notice what Lidstrom did to get called for hooking. We wait in vain for VS to show us a replay.

7:38 The Wings did not miss Lidstrom much on that PK.

6:45 What is this crazy thing we’re seeing? Is it… offensive pressure by the Stars? It may very well be!

6:22 Oh wait, never mind. The Stars forecheck doesn’t yield any shots, and the Wings quickly retrieve the puck and go back to firing at will on Turco.

5:28 BOOO! HISS! We come back from a commercial to get an interview with Babcock on the bench. He’s wearing a normal-looking dark suit, a normal-looking blue shirt, and a normal-looking white-and-black polka-dotted tie, but we hate him so much just on principle that Pookie snarls, “I don’t like his outfit!”

4:24 Just as Edzo is telling us that one of the great things about this sport is that you can always come back in a game, the Wings make it look moronically easy to deftly pass your way into a semi-break, and Filppula beats Turco with a rolling puck. 4-0 Detroit, and the crowd reaction shot shows a bunch of fans who don’t even bother getting up to cheer the goal. It kind of feels like a game in November, with all the energy the Stars and the Wings fans have brought tonight.

2:58 Osgood gets to make his first totally awesome save of the game, a stabbing kick save with his toe in response to a rapid-fire flurry of Dallas shots. Six or seven fans start an “Ozzie” chant.

1:07 WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Morrow, our Stars boyfriend, outhustles a Wing defender coming out of the corner, and is right on top of Osgood to punch in the rebound of an Ott shot that came off a Detroit turnover. It’s 4-1 Wings, and, um, maybe that was something to build on for the Stars?

0:10 Datsyuk tries to get the four-goal lead back, but somehow his shot on a two-on-one down low never really gets on goal, as he hurtles into his own teammate, and then suddenly a bunch of Stars pile into the collision, too. We… have no idea what just happened there.

0:00 Despite showing some signs of life late in the period, that was not much of an improvement for Dallas over the first. Yikes.

SECOND INTERMISSION

We’re too busy making frozen hot chocolate to pay attention to intermission. Plus, we already know the origin of Octopussy.

THIRD PERIOD

18:39 The sideline guy gives us an update of what the Stars assistant coach said about the failures of the Dallas PK so far in this game, and the rundown includes a hope for better decision-making when down a man. Doc, ever the master of the sly put-down, asks dryly, “Can better decision-making also apply at even strength?” Heh.

17:56 Zetterberg gets called for high-sticking, and VS gives us a lingering, wide-angle shot of the crowd milling about the bowl of the arena while the organist makes a perfunctory attempt at playing time-filler music. Seriously, would it have been impossible to provide a replay of the penalty? Or a look at Morrow as the officials determine whether it should be a single or a double minor? What is VS’s problem?

15:56 The Stars never even really set up on the PP, and the highlight of the two minutes is a monster hit laid by Cleary behind the Dallas net. So much for the better decision-making by the Stars.

14:36 Toby Petersen gets checked at the far boards, and Pookie says what we’ve all been thinking: “Toby Petersen cracks me up. Because Toby reminds me of [our grandmother]’s cat Toby, and Mr. Peterson was [our good friends]’s cat.” Clearly, Petersen’s parents weren’t considering all the angles when they named him.

12:15 Oh right! There’s still a game going on. The Wings seem to be engaging in a workmanlike approach to finishing the period off as quickly and as painlessly as possible. Edzo is talking about how the Stars are showing signs of a “second wind” but we think that might be more because the Wings are on cruise control than because of anything Dallas is doing now.

10:35 Pookie: “I just heard Doc say the phrase ‘A shot in the dark’. I’m assuming he was saying that the Stars are Inspector Clouseau and the Wings are Kato.”

7:41 The Stars are buzzing a bit in the Detroit zone, and Petersen’s name comes up in the play-by-play. Pookie gives a cute little “meow” in response, then realizes she just sounded exactly like Spongebob’s pet snail. She declares, “I’m going to call him Gary now.” We don’t think that nickname would be at all confusing.

5:40 What in the hell is going on here? Turco hands the puck over to Cleary just outside the trapezoid, and Cleary feeds it to Zetterberg all alone in the slot. Perhaps Zetterberg is as surprised as everyone else that the play is happening this way, because he doesn’t get his shot off until Turco has scrambled back into the blue paint and is sitting in the goal mouth waiting for the puck.

5:26 Hey! That was just an interesting background story Doc just shared with us! It seems Kronwall’s name is misspelled on all official NHL publications because his visa was issued with the typo “Kronvall” on it. Anyone who is stuck in their employer’s HR system under a misspelled name, or can’t get their employer to recognize their nickname in place of their full name, can now think of Kronwall as a hero.

1:00 Oh, wait, the game’s still going on.

0:56 Ott rings a shot off the crossbar on a surprise rush up the near wing. Boomer remarks, though, “This game felt like it was over an hour and a half ago.”

0:40 Winchester gives VS one last chance to not show a replay of a penalty as he heads to the box following some mild scrumming.

0:29 Ott gives the Wings one last chance in this game to pad their 5-on-3 stats. The Wings fail to score on it, probably because VS curses them by actually showing a replay of the holding penalty. It only took them 59 ½ minutes to figure out how to do that.

0:00 Ouch. That wasn’t even close. Early in the first, it was mentioned in the living room of stately IPB Manor that the matchup looked like an NHL team playing a college squad. It never really got better from there. It’ll be interesting to see if this was one of those “not at all indicative of what the rest of the series will be like” Game 1 blowouts, or if this was a sign of how badly outclassed the Stars are going to be by the Wings.

283 Responses to “Western Conference Final Game 1”

  1. on May 8, 2008 at 7:33 pm Caitlin

    YAY, you’re diarizing! Woo!


  2. on May 8, 2008 at 7:35 pm Pookie

    Uh-oh. Pressure’s on!

    Did you beat the traffic tonight, Caitlin?


  3. on May 8, 2008 at 7:42 pm Pookie

    This was not how I was expecting this game to start!


  4. on May 8, 2008 at 7:43 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Gah! I almost didn’t make it! Stupid LBJ!


  5. on May 8, 2008 at 7:44 pm Pookie

    You haven’t missed anything, Patty!


  6. on May 8, 2008 at 7:48 pm Pookie

    Poop.


  7. on May 8, 2008 at 8:04 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Suddenly all my hatred for the Red Wings is returning.

    No offense to the Doc Emerick fans, but I am NOT looking forward to a whole series with him and Olzyck rambling about the weather until the Red Wings get the puck then talking about the Red Wings until they lose it and then going back to the weather.


  8. on May 8, 2008 at 8:07 pm Pookie

    By “weather” do you mean, “what a great puckhandler Turco is”, “what a beast of a hitter Morrow’s been”, and “what a kick-ass defenseman Zubov is”? :D

    (Sorry, but I can’t not defend Doc.)


  9. on May 8, 2008 at 8:11 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    I guess I didn’t hear them say all that yet. I’ll have to rewind and find that. :D

    Mainly it’s Olczyk.


  10. on May 8, 2008 at 8:15 pm Pookie

    I hate watching my team on neutral broadcasts because I never hear them talking about the Devils.

    OK, Stars, butts in gear NOW! I think a shortie would go a long way towards shifting momentum here.


  11. on May 8, 2008 at 8:16 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Edzo was on the radio today and talked about the Red Wings the whole time. He only mentioned the Stars to make his points about how they’d never be able to hang with them.

    He might be right, but still.


  12. on May 8, 2008 at 8:18 pm Pookie

    OK, so that period sucked. But there’s still plenty of Brahms left to be played!


  13. on May 8, 2008 at 8:22 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Now the butterflies should be gone and they better get going.


  14. on May 8, 2008 at 8:29 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    This is the kind of game that makes me pissed instead of sad. :D


  15. on May 8, 2008 at 8:33 pm Schnookie

    I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that wasn’t really the period the Stars coaching staff had planned to start this series off.


  16. on May 8, 2008 at 8:35 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    The replay VS shows us is of a later infraction on the delayed call, because apparently the director of tonight’s broadcast has never seen a hockey game before.

    This is already infuriating me.

    Also, they could “send it” to ME and I could tell them what’s coming up in the break! Stop doing that!


  17. on May 8, 2008 at 8:37 pm Pookie

    Also, they could “send it” to ME and I could tell them what’s coming up in the break! Stop doing that!

    :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

    So true! So true. It’s so freakin’ annoying. I really don’t understand why they’re so bad with replays. I mean, replays aren’t new to televised sports or anything.


  18. on May 8, 2008 at 8:40 pm Heather B.

    This crowd isn’t very inspiring. They do realize this is the Conference Finals, right?


  19. on May 8, 2008 at 8:42 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    That’s that stuff Ribs does that I try to ignore, but it’s infuriating.


  20. on May 8, 2008 at 8:42 pm Pookie

    I was thinking the same thing, Heather. The crowd sound haughtily disinterested, don’t they? They sound like it’s been less than six years since they last won it, that’s for sure.


  21. on May 8, 2008 at 8:43 pm Pookie

    How did that not go in?!? Do you think we’ll get a replay of that save?


  22. on May 8, 2008 at 8:45 pm Heather B.

    Even the goalie chant was weak. I think it was four guys.


  23. on May 8, 2008 at 8:45 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    We don’t have time for replays! How will you know what they’re going to talk about in the break?


  24. on May 8, 2008 at 8:46 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    There was a pretty big hit and no crowd reaction.


  25. on May 8, 2008 at 8:49 pm Heather B.

    You guys didn’t watch the chatty Marty feature? That’s just wrong! The best part was this interaction between him and one of his teammates:

    Marty: What happened in the neutral zone?
    Teammate: I turned the puck over.
    Marty: Oh.


  26. on May 8, 2008 at 8:54 pm Pookie

    HAHAHA! I’m sorry we missed that! I like having the TV quiet during intermissions. It gives us time to calm down a little bit and talk about the game.


  27. on May 8, 2008 at 8:56 pm Pookie

    We will NOT be turning up the sound for the “Story Behind The Octopus” feature.


  28. on May 8, 2008 at 9:05 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Man, I’m losing interest in this game fast.


  29. on May 8, 2008 at 9:06 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Y’all are about to find out what a pouter I can be.

    Also, the trim on their uniforms IS PINK!


  30. on May 8, 2008 at 9:09 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    I was really hoping Marty was going to have a better showing.

    And I think I need to look up “Interference” in the rule book and see if there’s an asterisk that says, “Except if you’re Detroit.”


  31. on May 8, 2008 at 9:09 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Yay! We won’t be shutout! Woo hoo!


  32. on May 8, 2008 at 9:10 pm Pookie

    WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!


  33. on May 8, 2008 at 9:11 pm Pookie

    I’m so sorry this game sucks, Stars fans! It’s just Game 1, though. And maybe this goal will turn momentum a bit. And maybe Tip will throw some garbage cans at people’s heads during intermission.


  34. on May 8, 2008 at 9:12 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    I think I’m the only Stars fan hanging around. :D


  35. on May 8, 2008 at 9:12 pm Frisby

    When we come back from commercial, Doc informs us this game is available in HD, “the same shape as the surface this game is played on.” We love Doc more than anything, but… huh?

    I was hoping that I just didn’t hear that correctly. Thanks for confirming that I did. Seriously, Doc, WTF? Was that written for you? If so, fire those writers.


  36. on May 8, 2008 at 9:13 pm Pookie

    Yeah, that was sort of a spot of general sympathy for all Stars fans everywhere. This game totally blows. But at least you’ll have the Game 1 jitters all worked out.


  37. on May 8, 2008 at 9:19 pm CapsChick

    I think I’m officially bad luck for any team I support - I’m so, so sorry, Stars fans. Maybe for the rest of this series I’ll root for the Wings. Or…maybe I’ll save up my bad mojo and “root” for the Penguins in the Finals ;)

    On a completely non-related note, Olie’s done in DC.


  38. on May 8, 2008 at 9:23 pm Pookie

    I’m sorry about Olie, CC. I know that’s rough seeing a favorite go out like that.


  39. on May 8, 2008 at 9:26 pm Schnookie

    Seriously, Doc, WTF? Was that written for you? If so, fire those writers.

    I know! Has Doc never seen a game in HD? Does he even know what he’s talking about?


  40. on May 8, 2008 at 9:27 pm Schnookie

    CC, I’m so sorry about Olie. It shouldn’t end like that at all. :(


  41. on May 8, 2008 at 9:28 pm CapsChick

    Thanks, Pookie. It’s not a complete surprise (especially after seeing that his house was put on the market May 1st) but it’s still depressing nonetheless. I think seeing him with another team would be even more painful, too - I’m selfishly hoping he retires.

    *sigh* Guess you guys will have to find a new player to make fun of! And try to pick someone other than Ovie, the kid gets too much attention as it is ;)


  42. on May 8, 2008 at 9:29 pm Frisby

    I don’t think it’s possible for Doc to see a game in HD. It’s pretty hard to do when are always working at the game.


  43. on May 8, 2008 at 9:31 pm Pookie

    Guess you guys will have to find a new player to make fun of!

    Milan Jurcina, I’m looking at you! (Just kidding.)

    May 1st, eh? Subtle, Olie, subtle. I did think it was hysterically funny that Tarik El-Bashir took the effort to write “joining a contender is high on Kolzig’s priorities”. No shit, Sherlock.


  44. on May 8, 2008 at 9:32 pm Frisby

    Btw, I’m totally pulling for Dallas. They are the only team left that I like.


  45. on May 8, 2008 at 9:34 pm Pookie

    Great point, Frisby! There’s no way for Doc to know how stupid that comment sounded!


  46. on May 8, 2008 at 9:35 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    I’m playing hard-to-get by making hotel reservations for my vacation in September.


  47. on May 8, 2008 at 9:38 pm CapsChick

    I did think it was hysterically funny that Tarik El-Bashir took the effort to write “joining a contender is high on Kolzig’s priorities”. No shit, Sherlock.

    Tarik is Captain Obvious, I’m telling you. Gee, you’re kidding, he’s 38, never won a Cup and he wants to go to a contender?? And here I thought he would sign with the Kings.


  48. on May 8, 2008 at 9:39 pm CapsChick

    Milan Jurcina, I’m looking at you! (Just kidding.)

    You’d better be kidding. Steph will absolutely kill you. ;)

    COME ON STARS!!! *glares angrily at them*


  49. on May 8, 2008 at 9:40 pm mcguffers

    Evening everyone! I’m back from my week off from hockey. I just finished watching 30 min of John Krasinski and I’m ready for the heartbreak that has been the playoffs. (well for me so far)


  50. on May 8, 2008 at 9:41 pm Pookie

    And here I thought he would sign with the Kings.

    :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


  51. on May 8, 2008 at 9:41 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    This game blows. I was okay with getting all the way to the Conf. Finals and losing. Before the playoffs started, that is. Now, I’m not so okay with it.

    Their arena has the lamest music.


  52. on May 8, 2008 at 9:41 pm Caitlin

    I’m sorry for my absence Patty - I’ve been trying to get my internet fixed (again, Blime Blarner! Rats!) and finding solace in Russian’s playoff scruff.

    Sigh.


  53. on May 8, 2008 at 9:44 pm mcguffers

    Their arena has the lamest music.

    Seriously, were they just play “God Bless the U.S.A?” I mean I’m as patriotic as the next guy, but both teams are American, so who is that pumping up?


  54. on May 8, 2008 at 9:44 pm CapsChick

    Their arena has the lamest music.

    I enjoy the thematic musical interludes but…were they seriously just playing “Proud to be an American”?? Don’t get me wrong, I love our country, but that song needs to be erased from the collective memories of every person who has ever had to suffer through it.


  55. on May 8, 2008 at 9:46 pm CapsChick

    Seriously, were they just play “God Bless the U.S.A?”

    …okay maybe that’s what it’s called. And kudos, mcguffers, for your timing ;)


  56. on May 8, 2008 at 9:51 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Mittens has been hanging around Ribs too long.


  57. on May 8, 2008 at 9:51 pm mcguffers

    Hahaha CC, every band geek had to know that one. :) And I feel your pain with Olie. Maybe he can come be a Sabre. He played in the AHL for us. I love any player who can say he’s South African, German and Canadian.


  58. on May 8, 2008 at 9:52 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Sorry about Ollie, CC.


  59. on May 8, 2008 at 9:53 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    “Which goalie who has been super so far in the playoffs do I expect to have the wheels fall off the hardest in this round? Hmm. Which one could it be? Which one…?”

    Might not be as easy to know as you think. :P


  60. on May 8, 2008 at 9:54 pm Pookie

    I was thinking earlier that the music sucked, but I’ve been longing for years to have “Bring Back The Game” games where the Jumbotron would be dark and there’d be no blaring music. Someday. Someday.


  61. on May 8, 2008 at 9:54 pm Heather B.

    Okay, why are they playing “Don’t Stop Believing?” when they’re up by 3 goals?


  62. on May 8, 2008 at 9:54 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Hey, does anybody know in what round Zetterberg and Dastyuck were drafted?


  63. on May 8, 2008 at 9:57 pm Pookie

    Might not be as easy to know as you think.

    Aw, Patty, I’m sorry! There’s been quite a debate here over whether Turco’s looked shaky or not. The consensus is that he’s not been at fault on the goals, if that helps.


  64. on May 8, 2008 at 9:59 pm Frisby

    Okay, why are they playing “Don’t Stop Believing?” when they’re up by 3 goals?

    I’m guessing just because of the Detroit reference.

    “Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
    He took the midnight train going to anywhere.”


  65. on May 8, 2008 at 9:59 pm Heather B.

    Zetterberg was in the 7th, Datsyuk in the 6th.


  66. on May 8, 2008 at 9:59 pm Pookie

    Datsyuk - 6
    Zetterberg - 7

    Yikes.


  67. on May 8, 2008 at 9:59 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    A shot of that puck going off the crossbar would be nice right about now.


  68. on May 8, 2008 at 10:00 pm KG

    Zach was player of the team today :)


  69. on May 8, 2008 at 10:00 pm Pookie

    Wait, Patty, were you being facetious? Have they mentioned this a lot and I haven’t noticed?


  70. on May 8, 2008 at 10:00 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Zetterberg was in the 7th, Datsyuk in the 6th.

    Sorry, I was being sarcastic.


  71. on May 8, 2008 at 10:01 pm Heather B.

    Ah, thanks, Frisby! That actually makes sense. I didn’t think of that.


  72. on May 8, 2008 at 10:01 pm CapsChick

    Okay, why are they playing “Don’t Stop Believing?” when they’re up by 3 goals?

    …the same reason they just played “Livin’ on a Prayer” right where at the “we’re halfway there” line even though we’re well into the 3rd period? :D They’re a little insane.

    Hey, does anybody know in what round Zetterberg and Dastyuck were drafted?

    Patty, provided you’re not being sarcastic because honestly I haven’t been listening to Doc and Edzo and don’t know if they’ve said it 45203498 times…Zetterberg was in the 7th round (210th) and Datsyuk was 171st, which I think was the 6th round.


  73. on May 8, 2008 at 10:02 pm Pookie

    Zetterberg was in the 7th, Datsyuk in the 6th.

    Sorry, I was being sarcastic.

    Dammit! I realized too late. Now I feel like a jerk. I should wait five seconds before responding to something like that, shouldn’t I, like a little “Sarcasm Zone”.

    I’m so sorry, Stars fans.


  74. on May 8, 2008 at 10:02 pm CapsChick

    :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

    Can we make a rule that all sarcastic remarks must be followed by /sarcasm for stupid CC’s sake? I’m just glad I’m not the only one who fell for it.


  75. on May 8, 2008 at 10:03 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    They’ve only said it once tonight. But it’s pointed out at least once every game. They talked about it at length early, but just once.


  76. on May 8, 2008 at 10:04 pm mcguffers

    I’m guessing just because of the Detroit reference.

    “Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
    He took the midnight train going to anywhere.”

    Sort of like when people from NYC goes buck wild when “the whores on seventh avenue” gets sung in The Boxer


  77. on May 8, 2008 at 10:05 pm Caitlin

    Times like these call for vodka.

    And of course, I have none.


  78. on May 8, 2008 at 10:06 pm CapsChick

    Caitlin, you need to come to DC. Russians galore, we’re NEVER without vodka. ;)


  79. on May 8, 2008 at 10:06 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Oh, that’s okay! I was just playing that game where we jokingly ask for info that they give us ad infinitum.

    I always want to ask, when people are waxing rhapsodic about what geniuses the Detroit staff is for picking them so late, if they were such geniuses, why didn’t they pick them sooner?

    And who were their 6th and 7th round picks in the drafts since then?


  80. on May 8, 2008 at 10:08 pm Heather B.

    Oh, geez, sorry, Patty. I uh… turned the game off so I haven’t been paying attention to Edzo and Co. tonight.

    CC, we actually play that part of “Livin’ on the Prayer” at the end of victories too so I don’t have a problem with that. I’ve just never heard “Don’t Stop Believing” played by a team that was winning.


  81. on May 8, 2008 at 10:08 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    I thought they picked up their game toward the end. We had a game like that against Anaheim where we got too far behind to recover, but the last period was furious and they were able to carry it over.

    (I know I’m grasping at straws.)


  82. on May 8, 2008 at 10:09 pm mcguffers

    Ohhh Ohhh Patty, can I play? Only mine is a prediction. I think they will mention Kimmo Timonen’s injury 5,465,654 times tomorrow night.


  83. on May 8, 2008 at 10:09 pm Pookie

    Sort of like when people from NYC goes buck wild when “the whores on seventh avenue” gets sung in The Boxer

    And like when people from Jersey flip out over “counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike”! Oooh, it gives me goosebumps! Ah, sweet, Turnpike!


  84. on May 8, 2008 at 10:10 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    That’s okay! They only said it once! Forget I mentioned it! :D


  85. on May 8, 2008 at 10:12 pm Pookie

    Actually, Patty, after I looked it up I even commented, “Whoa! Zetterberg was a seventh round pick!” Us East Coasters aren’t exposed to the Wings talking points as much, I guess!


  86. on May 8, 2008 at 10:12 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    “Don’t Stop Believing” might be a dig at the Stars’ “Believe” campaign. If they even know anything about it.


  87. on May 8, 2008 at 10:14 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Ookies, if you got to 643 (FSNSW), you might catch a glimpse of the giant screen. The background flashes and changes colors… that’s from that video screen. I don’t know if I’d want one of those million-dollar condos across the street from it.


  88. on May 8, 2008 at 10:14 pm Pookie

    OK, now you’re just reading too deeply into it, Patty! :D


  89. on May 8, 2008 at 10:14 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    GO to, not got to.


  90. on May 8, 2008 at 10:14 pm CapsChick

    And who were their 6th and 7th round picks in the drafts since then?

    I’m too lazy to go look it up but I can tell you that in 1998 they drafted Pavel Datsyuk after such gems as Brent Hobday, Calle Steen, and a goalie with the best name ever…Jake McCracken. Love it.


  91. on May 8, 2008 at 10:15 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    OK, now you’re just reading too deeply into it, Patty! :D

    You’re likely right about that. :D


  92. on May 8, 2008 at 10:15 pm Pookie

    If you had a condo there, though, you wouldn’t have to drive through the Stripper Gun Show District to get to the game.


  93. on May 8, 2008 at 10:16 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    …a goalie with the best name ever…Jake McCracken. Love it.

    Did he have a brother named Phil?! HAR!

    (I’m not even trying tonight. I’m so bummed.)


  94. on May 8, 2008 at 10:17 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Actually the Stripper Gun Show is out of my way. I only go through there if I go from work.

    From home, I go through the Taqueria District.


  95. on May 8, 2008 at 10:20 pm Pookie

    (I’m not even trying tonight. I’m so bummed.)

    I’m so sorry. Paddleball game?


  96. on May 8, 2008 at 10:22 pm Frisby

    Is that Jamie Langenbrunner driving the Mach 5?


  97. on May 8, 2008 at 10:24 pm Pookie

    That’s almost scary, Frisby.


  98. on May 8, 2008 at 10:28 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Tippett at the podium… somebody inevitably asked why Turco always loses in Detroit, and Tipp only addresses this game. The team in front of him wasn’t helping him tonight, he said.


  99. on May 8, 2008 at 10:29 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Thanks, Pookie. Paddleball game is nice, but I might need some cookie pudding.


  100. on May 8, 2008 at 10:29 pm Frisby

    Too bad it’s not, I might actually go see the movie if it was. Unfortunately all of the previews that I have seen make the movie look totally lame.


  101. on May 8, 2008 at 10:34 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Also Tipp was pretty livid about the fact that Holmstrom had 2 inches of blue paint in front of him on that one goal.


  102. on May 8, 2008 at 10:36 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    …in 1998 they drafted Pavel Datsyuk after such gems as Brent Hobday, Calle Steen,…

    Exactly. :D


  103. on May 8, 2008 at 10:38 pm Schnookie

    Awww, Patty. Tonight is TOTALLY a cookie pudding night.

    …in 1998 they drafted Pavel Datsyuk after such gems as Brent Hobday, Calle Steen,…

    Exactly. :D

    Well, to be fair… they still managed to pick up Datsyuk, unlike most teams who draft a whole bunch of crap, then more crap to go with it. :P


  104. on May 8, 2008 at 10:39 pm Pookie

    Patty, I felt SO MUCH better after whipping up some cookie pudding after the Devils losses.


  105. on May 8, 2008 at 10:43 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    I’m not trying to say Datsyuk’s not a good pick, I’m just saying it’s just luck. They didn’t pick him because they knew what he’d become. If they knew him so well, they’d have picked him sooner. They could have picked him 5 other times (more or less), but they didn’t. They just lucked into him.


  106. on May 8, 2008 at 10:45 pm CapsChick

    unlike most teams who draft a whole bunch of crap, then more crap to go with it. :P

    *cough*CapsandDevils*cough*


  107. on May 8, 2008 at 10:47 pm Schnookie

    *cough*CapsandDevils*cough*

    SIGH. Man, remember those days when the Devils were kick-ass drafters? Those were good times. Whatever happened to that?


  108. on May 8, 2008 at 10:52 pm CapsChick

    Ah, true. You guys did okay that year, especially compared to the Caps who drafted one player who even made it to the NHL - and that’s Krys Barch, who I believe is in Dallas now? Yes?

    Our drafting has gotten significantly better in the last few years. It helps when you demolish a team and stockpile high picks, but still ;)


  109. on May 8, 2008 at 10:56 pm Schnookie

    It helps when you demolish a team and stockpile high picks, but still ;)

    :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That does help, doesn’t it! I’ve been so disheartened by the Devils’ inability to keep turning those late-in-the-first-round draft picks into solid NHLers. That was our bread and butter in the early ’90s! And now it’s just crap, crap, crap and more crap. (Although they’ve continued finding undrafted players and Oduya-style free agents…)


  110. on May 8, 2008 at 10:57 pm Caitlin

    Caitlin, you need to come to DC. Russians galore, we’re NEVER without vodka. ;)

    It’s tempting to get on a plane now and pull an Ovechkin - “Russians! Where are you!” Heh.

    I do need to come to DC - preferably during hockey season though. Heh.


  111. on May 8, 2008 at 11:00 pm Meg

    They didn’t pick him because they knew what he’d become. If they knew him so well, they’d have picked him sooner. They could have picked him 5 other times (more or less), but they didn’t. They just lucked into him.

    Not if they didn’t think anyone else would take him, they wouldn’t have picked him earlier. If you’re looking at a player who you know hasn’t been scouted properly, why not wait? Detroit did too well, too often, in the late rounds for it to just be luck. They’re no more infallible than other teams but they seem to have had (still have?) some very good scouts in Europe. And they could afford to take high-risk, high-reward players where a lot of other teams couldn’t because they spent so much money that they didn’t need to build through the draft like most other teams did.


  112. on May 8, 2008 at 11:12 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Why did they pick busts before him? Wouldn’t they know that those other guys were going to be busts?


  113. on May 8, 2008 at 11:18 pm Schnookie

    Why did they pick busts before him? Wouldn’t they know that those other guys were going to be busts?

    I think what Meg is pointing out is that they can use their earlier-round picks on guys who are on the central scouting radars, and can use their late-round picks on guys who are no one’s radars but their own. It makes sense to take a risk on a higher-touted prospect who might flame out when you know you’re going to be able to pick up a great prospect in the late rounds because you’ve done your homework better than everyone else. I think the Wings’ draft record is consistent enough over enough years that it’s hard to call it just luck.


  114. on May 8, 2008 at 11:19 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Okay.


  115. on May 8, 2008 at 11:25 pm Pookie

    I bet now that you’ve pointed it out, I hear the VS guys mention Datsyuk’s and Zetterberg’s draft position 8,000 times in the next two weeks!


  116. on May 8, 2008 at 11:27 pm Caitlin

    Patty, I have a paddleball game for you. And this chair…and these cans! He hates these cans!

    (Does a good old “I hate Illinois Nazis” cheer you up either? Not from the Jerk, but hey…)


  117. on May 8, 2008 at 11:27 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    You never hear them point out that Holmstrom was picked in the 10th in his draft year. I’m sure they knew just what they were getting with him, too.


  118. on May 8, 2008 at 11:27 pm Schnookie

    It’s going to be like the “exclusively on VS” thing — now that we’re looking for it, we won’t be able to ignore it EVER!


  119. on May 8, 2008 at 11:28 pm Meg

    Thanks, Schnookie, that was much clearer than what I said.

    Patty, I’m sure Detroit would also like to know why they picked those busts. I bet they look back and think: Adam DeLeeuw? seriously? We should have known that boy had to many vowels in his last name. :D


  120. on May 8, 2008 at 11:31 pm Myra

    Good Evening all. Well the pizza was fabulous. The ice cream sundaes were yummy. The game, not so much.

    Boo. :(


  121. on May 8, 2008 at 11:34 pm Caitlin

    Myra…I’m so sorry. :(

    I’m watching Breezy videos on YouTube. I swear, the man is like a human anti-depressant. “He a rich duck!” Aww, Breezy.


  122. on May 8, 2008 at 11:34 pm Pookie

    I am so sorry, Myra! But it’s only game 1!


  123. on May 8, 2008 at 11:35 pm Schnookie

    I bet they look back and think: Adam DeLeeuw? seriously? We should have known that boy had to many vowels in his last name. :D

    Hee! Then they’re probably like, “Oh thank god that didn’t work out. I mean, how could we afford our all-star 6th- and 7th rounders if we had to pay our early-round picks NHL-caliber salaries?” :P


  124. on May 8, 2008 at 11:36 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    I wonder if they ever wonder why they passed up Brad Richards three times. :P

    Not saying any other teams were any smarter…


  125. on May 8, 2008 at 11:39 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    The NHL Network showed us a few things we didn’t see in the broadcast, like Ott knocking Chelios about five feet. Nothing wrong with that.

    Chelios seems like the type that would be suckered by the kind of stuff Ott does. The Sharks ignored him pretty well. The Ducks didn’t do as good a job.

    Unfortunately, Chelios is down to about 5 minutes a game, I hear.


  126. on May 8, 2008 at 11:41 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    The NHL Network showed us a few things we didn’t see in the broadcast, like Ott knocking Chelios about five feet. Nothing wrong with that.

    Chelios seems like the type that would be suckered by the kind of stuff Ott does. The Sharks ignored him pretty well. The Ducks didn’t do as good a job.

    Unfortunately, Chelios is down to about 5 minutes a game, I hear.


  127. on May 8, 2008 at 11:43 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    Whoa. Sorry about the double post. Makes me look like even more of a spammer than I am.


  128. on May 8, 2008 at 11:45 pm Caitlin

    Unfortunately, Chelios is down to about 5 minutes a game, I hear.

    Patty, that’s because anytime Chelios plays for more than five minutes a game, they have to re-oil his joints.

    Or so I hear.

    I’ve passed “kinda sad” and am now entering my usual sphere of “I hate the Red Wings”. FYI, IPB, FYI. Carry on.


  129. on May 8, 2008 at 11:46 pm Myra

    But it’s only game 1!

    Yep. Tomorrow will be a better day….

    From home, I go through the Taqueria District

    Hee. I know exactly where you are talking about.


  130. on May 8, 2008 at 11:46 pm Schnookie

    I wonder if they ever wonder why they passed up Brad Richards three times. :P

    So how many times did the Stars pass up Richards? (And the Devils, while we’re at it…) :P

    And really, Patty, you are SUCH a terrible spammer! :P


  131. on May 8, 2008 at 11:48 pm Schnookie

    I’ve passed “kinda sad” and am now entering my usual sphere of “I hate the Red Wings”. FYI, IPB, FYI. Carry on.

    Hopefully the Stars have done the same! It was a wake-up call tonight, that’s all! The pressure’s still on the Wings to maintain home ice, right? The had to win G1. The Stars have ‘em right where they want ‘em, getting a false sense of security about their relative awesomeness… (Is this helping at all?)


  132. on May 8, 2008 at 11:52 pm Caitlin

    Is this helping at all?)

    Yes!

    Ha… I don’t think the Stars needed this dramatic of a kick in the ass, but they have to play harder than they did tonight to beat the Wings. So hopefully, they’ll shape up reaaally quick.

    I’m just back to my bitter self, that’s all.

    Sans vodka, sadly, but hey - you can’t always get what you want.


  133. on May 8, 2008 at 11:54 pm Myra

    The Stars have ‘em right where they want ‘em, getting a false sense of security about their relative awesomeness… (Is this helping at all?)

    Ou! You’re good.

    Let’s see, the Stars were just getting their bearings tonight. Totally siking out the Wings. Um. Um. Darn it, I’m a whole lot better at being negative.


  134. on May 8, 2008 at 11:58 pm Patty (in Dallas)

    So how many times did the Stars pass up Richards? (And the Devils, while we’re at it…) :P

    That’s what I’m tryna say! :P


  135. on May 9, 2008 at 12:00 am Patty (in Dallas)

    The Wings’ heads will be so huge, they’ll start falling over at inopportune times! It’s all part of Dave Tippett’s plan!


  136. on May 9, 2008 at 12:22 am Patty (in Dallas)

    G’night everybody! Better luck for us tomorrow! Go Pens/Flyers! (I haven’t decided.)


  137. on May 9, 2008 at 12:35 am Myra

    Good night Patty. I’m calling it a night, too.

    Good night IPB. More hockey tomorrow!


  138. on May 9, 2008 at 9:16 am Pookie

    Good morning, everyone! It’s a brand new day for hockey! Go Sids and Malkins! Go Vegas Tranny Bride! It’s a win-win!


  139. on May 9, 2008 at 9:38 am Caitlin

    Good morning, Pookie! I hate Dallas traffic. Stupid Woodall Rogers Freeway…

    Go Pens! I’m excited to see how the Pens/Flyers series turns out.


  140. on May 9, 2008 at 9:52 am Schnookie

    Good morning everyone! I’m soooo excited for the Pens/Flyers series that I bet it turns into a completely one-sided romp. Oh well! I like and dislike both teams enough that I’d be able to enjoy that, too! :D


  141. on May 9, 2008 at 9:52 am Amy

    Good morning!

    I didn’t get to watch last night’s game, so thank you for the recap. I guess I didn’t miss much.


  142. on May 9, 2008 at 9:56 am Caitlin

    I didn’t get to watch last night’s game, so thank you for the recap. I guess I didn’t miss much.

    No, Amy, you really didn’t miss anything at all…

    About five people have stopped by my desk this morning to ask me what went wrong with the Stars last night - non-hockey fans who work with me and are curious, since it’s the last team we’ve got in the playoffs.

    I honestly have no clue what to tell them.

    But other than that, it’s a good morning! Sun is shining, it’s nice and pretty outside - and it’s Friday! Yay!


  143. on May 9, 2008 at 10:11 am Schnookie

    I didn’t get to watch last night’s game, so thank you for the recap. I guess I didn’t miss much.

    Yeah, if you were looking to see two teams skating against each other in a battle for supremacy… not so much. Heh.

    Awww, Caitlin, I’m so sorry you’re stuck holding the bag here to explain that lousy showing to your coworkers! The Stars should give you some of the players’ phone numbers, so you can direct all inquiries directly to the source. They should have to explain themselves! :P


  144. on May 9, 2008 at 10:12 am Schnookie

    But other than that, it’s a good morning! Sun is shining, it’s nice and pretty outside - and it’s Friday! Yay!

    Oh, and I meant to say that our roles are reversed this morning — it’s chilly and rainy here today. Considering we’ve had only one significant rainfall in the last four weeks, I’m happy for the rain, but it’s the kind of day that should be spent napping, not working! Of course, IT’S FRIDAY!!! WOOOO!!!! We kind of treated last night like Friday night, too, so I’m sort of getting two Fridays this week. It’s awesome! I should pretend it’s Friday EVERY night!


  145. on May 9, 2008 at 10:23 am Myra

    Good morning IPB!

    We kind of treated last night like Friday night, too, so I’m sort of getting two Fridays this week. It’s awesome! I should pretend it’s Friday EVERY night!

    Me, too. Only problem is my body feels like it’s Monday. Argh.

    Listening to all the sports pundents this morning, evil though they may be, has made me feel a little better about the Stars. No I’m not delusional. The Stars played no where near their abilities/potential. Had they played their hearts out and still lost, I would be a lot more worried. It’s only Game 1, if they can get to the level of play that we know they can and still loose then I’ll throw in my rally towel. Too Hockey Pollyanna?


  146. on May 9, 2008 at 10:31 am Caitlin

    The Stars should give you some of the players’ phone numbers, so you can direct all inquiries directly to the source. They should have to explain themselves!

    They should set up a hotline and give me business cards to pass out. “I don’t know what to tell you. Go call Mike Modano or Antti Miettinen, I’m sure they can tell you.” Ha! Plus I slept terribly last night, so I’m not as coherent as I probably should be this morning.

    I should pretend it’s Friday EVERY night!

    But then wouldn’t the magic of Friday be gone? It’s like having Christmas every day!

    Had they played their hearts out and still lost, I would be a lot more worried.

    Sadly, this has been my mantra with the Stars this season - but I agree. I feel really positive about the rest of the series, I just need time to kind of wallow in the loss a bit, as crap as that sounds. I feel like they’re okay for the moment, but they have to win Game 2. Not negotiable, as far as I’m concerned.


  147. on May 9, 2008 at 10:36 am Schnookie

    Too Hockey Pollyanna?

    Not at all! There was no question the Wings were going to come out gunning on all cylinders for G1, so why not crap the bed in that one? Caitlin’s right that G2 is pretty much a necessity, but there’s absolutely no reason right now to think the Stars can’t beat the Wings, just based on G1.

    But then wouldn’t the magic of Friday be gone? It’s like having Christmas every day!

    Hm. That’s a good point.


  148. on May 9, 2008 at 10:45 am Mags

    I really, really dislike the Red Wings right now. Just so we’re clear.

    Hi everyone, how has today been for you guys? Good, I hope :)


  149. on May