Oho, Blersus, you sneaky vixen. First you tried to pretend you weren’t giving us this game in HD, playing all hard to get, and then at the last minute you capitulated. There’s no need to be so coquettish, but we appreciate the end result.
We anticipate a significant upgrade in game quality and intensity from yesterday’s Wings/Stars G1, but we’re looking at a significant downgrade in play-by-play. Sigh. Hi, Beninati. And you too, Eliot. (These two guys clearly did not coordinate their outfits – Joe’s got a yellowish-beige suit and a florid orange tie, and Darren’s wearing charcoal gray with a patterned fuschia tie. Is it really that hard to make sure ahead of time that you won’t clash terribly?)
After a Chris Simpson interview with a thoroughly undynamic John Stevens, we go to commercial, then come back for a nearly announcer-less full segment of a wide-angle shot of the massive, white-bedecked, explosively loud crowd. Speaking of things that have been greatly improved in quality from the game in Detroit last night.
We should mention now that we have no idea who we’re cheering for in this one. Games like this are the best – when you just sit down and wait to see which way your heart goes.
FIRST PERIOD
20:00 Oh! We didn’t time our evening very well here – our pizza arrives just as the puck is dropped. We hope nothing exciting happens just yet. (After a lingering look at Sid on the bench, Pookie says in her Sid voice, “Aw, I don’t think Gary Meadows is going to be selling the Sid model any time soon.”)
18:09 We come back to find the Flyers on the PP. We’d lament that we don’t know who took the penalty and what for, but we doubt VS would have shown us anyway.
16:53 The Flyers are unable to force any kind of play through the PK box, and Pookie speaks for all of us when she says, “Right now I’m 100% 50/50.”
15:59 Malkin shows the Flyers a bit of what they didn’t have to face against the anemic Habs in the last round, deftly ducking a check on the fly while darting through the D, but Sykora is there to be his Sykora self, missing wide on the fat rebound chance Biron coughs up at him.
13:54 The teams are trading back-and-forths in the neutral zone, and Joe tries to tell us “the hardest part for the players is the waiting” between series. Pookie: “Yeah, but you know who that’s even harder on? The fans. And we did just fine with MarioKart, so I don’t feel sorry for the players at all.”
13:41 You know what we’re 100% ZERO on? Petr Sykora. So we can’t give any kind of “WOOOO”-ish response when he takes advantage of the wheels falling off Biron, beating him on a roofed backhand while Biron has played himself terribly out of position on some nice cross-zone passing by Pittsburgh. 1-0 Penguins. Who ever would have guessed Biron could look so crappy? Oh right – we could.
11:40 We’re trying to decide whether we were happy about that goal or not, and we think we’re still in a state of balance. Although Schnookie remarks, “After last night’s game, maybe I’m just trying not to get too attached to either of these Eastern Conference teams.”
11:30 The goal light is on, the Flyers are celebrating, but the officials are vehemently waving the goal off. We’re puzzled. VS then shows us a bunch of drunk, face-painted Flyers fans at the Wachovia center, and we recoil. Pookie: “If the Vegas tranny bride wants to keep my heart, they’re going to have to limit how much I can see of Flyers fans.” There is a delay as the officials call upstairs, and it turns out that our Flyers boyfriend Mike Richards tossed the puck in off Fleury on a wraparound, and the puck was literally in the back of the net while the official was standing over it, waving off the goal. The fuck? There is no explanation, and right is quickly done, as the review ends quickly with the game 1-1. We see more footage of Flyers fans and feel a sinking pit in our stomachs. Please. We’re trying to eat.
10:19 Hey! Did you know Umberger’s from Pittsburgh? Why no, Joe, we’d never heard that. Please tell us again. And again. And again. And again. He also mentions in a rambling Umberger tangent that “R.J.” is short “Robert, Jr.” Pookie: “He and PJ hang out a lot.”
9:30 Pookie recently read the column on ESPN about how the Flyers rebuilt to quickly, and has not been able to let go of the fact that Philly offered Jeff Carter for Tomas Kaberle at this past deadline. She mentions now as he’s on the ice, “Every time I look at Carter all I can see is Kaberle. It’s awful.”
7:32 Our Flyers boyfriend is called upon to give a soundbite interview about how the team reacted to losing Timonen. He seems to be saying that Timonen is dead to them all now. Or something. He also sounds just like if Beaker from the Muppet Show was a valley girl. He’s so dreamy.
7:10 We bet it sounds a lot like “MEEMEEMEEMEEMEEMEE!!!” on the ice right now as Richards celebrates finding the puck in front of the crease when he sneaks down behind a Lupul-and-two-Pens-defenders scrum in the paint, then skates around the pile-up and fires a shot over Fleury. It’s 2-1 Flyers, and Darren says this looks like the first game of the Pens/Rangers series. So no worries, Pens fans.
6:12 We get a heads-up about what’s to come in the first intermission, and the studio host guy says cheerfully, “Plus, a profile of Detroit Red Wings defenseman Brian Rafalski!” We had been discussing last night how we had a clean break from Raffie when he left the Devils, and now seems like a new player, so Schnookie asks in the same brisk tone, “Is he related to New Jersey Devils defenseman Brian Rafalski?” Pookie: “I’d rather hear a history of the octopus than a profile of Brian Rafalski.”
5:49 HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That’s what it looks like when the wheels completely fall off a goalie! Biron tries to force things by puckhandling behind the net when there’s absolutely no need to, and ends up passing the puck through Jason Smith and straight to Hossa at the half boards. Hossa then calmly feeds the puck to Sid right in front and Sid easily beats Biron as he scrambles to get back in net. HAHAHAHAHA!!! 2-2 game.
5:24 The Umberger magic is gone, as he is artfully defended from behind by Gonchar on a breakaway, and then the Pens wheel up the other way in the blink of an eye. This game is ten zillion times more awesome than the one last night was.
3:05 We hope neither of these teams remember how to play defense any time soon. For the umpteenth time, the puck is turned over right on the blue line. This time Fleury has to make a good shoulder save on Lupul.
0:56 We all think Ryan Malone has just stuffed a wraparound shot in, but it turns out it’s just a failure of our depth perception.
0:06 AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! With time running out and the Flyers scrambling all over the place, Malkin calmly powers down the near wing without a defender in sight (although Hatcher is lumbering over to try to lend a helping hand), and he whips a shot that goes right through the wheelless Biron. 3-2 Pens. HAHAHAHA! It’s never not funny when the Flyers think they’ve found the answers to their neverending goaltending problems, but the answer turns out to be Marty Biron. Heh.
0:00 Please, Hockey Gods, just let this pace keep up for seven games. This is awesome.
FIRST INTERMISSION
Guess what we don’t watch? That’s right! This intermission on Versus!
SECOND PERIOD
19:05 Okay, seriously, this is getting so funny it almost hurts. Hatcher turns the puck over to Malkin in the high slot, then barely manages to deflect Malkin’s shot over the net. Beninati calls it that Hatcher’s “long reach did him well there.” Yeah, except for the part where he turned the puck over to start out with, Joe.
18:21 Hatcher’s long reach does him no favors again, as he turns the puck over on an eminently playable pass from Umberger behind Biron’s net. There isn’t even any pressure on him. Pookie: “I think the game has passed him by.”
17:17 It seems like maybe the two coaches spent the intermission throwing garbage cans at their players’ heads. Both teams are content to be passively fumbling the puck around each other’s feet in the neutral zone right now.
16:25 Orpik grabs onto Hartnell (Hard As Nails Cunts!) while throwing him to the ice behind Fleury and gets called for holding. That doesn’t look like a very good call to us.
15:15 Malkin gets a breakaway, but fires wide, and our boyfriend Beaker flies in to smush him into the boards for his efforts.
15:10 Holy shit! Malkin is slow to get back after being hit, and ends up cherry picking on the penalty kill. He’s let loose on a breakaway with a fantastic rink-length pass from Gonchar, and just pulls up to blast a slapshot through Biron. It’s 4-2 Penguins, and now is a great opportunity for VS to demonstrate how inept they are at enhancing the live action with appropriate replays. They give us a look at just the goal, but neglect to show a replay of all the hits and back-and-forth up and down the rink that set it up. Come on, VS! That was chaos! Give a sense of how that entire play evolved, okay?
14:56 Carter gets called for hooking, and VS is in a state of complete confusion about what to be showing us, feeding us some more weird angles of the outlet pass to Malkin while Joe and Darren have no idea what to be talking about. We are seasoned hockey fans and we’re baffled about what’s going on here. This is sure to appeal to non-fans.
12:57 Darren tries to get all hard-hitting by saying, “Let’s face it – the Flyers only got here on the strength of Biron’s play.” Pookie: “And let’s face it – they’re not going to move on on the strength of Biron’s play.”
9:29 We’re grouchy now because VS is doing such a crappy job with this broadcast – it’s hard to write a game diary when the feed isn’t giving any replays, you know. Our enjoyment of the game will increase if it can go to overtime, and for a moment we think Umberger may have chipped into the lead with some rare-for-this-period Flyers hustle, but Fleury is no Biron, and manages to get a pad on the shot.
8:12 Sid’s line buzzes all over the Philly zone, and we try to decide which team we dislike more, as we grapple to choose sides. Pookie begins to proclaim, “Pound for pound, I think I dislike more players on the Pens than I dislike on the Flyers,” but then she mentally adjusts for Hatcher, and admits that, pound for pound, the Flyers she dislikes weigh more than the Pens she dislikes.
6:30 Biron makes a stop on a quick shot from Hossa, but kicks a long rebound right back onto his stick. It looks like Hossa is going to have no problem converting on the rebound when Biron overcommits on the shot he anticipates (but which never comes), but after skating around the prone goalie, Hossa can’t push the puck past Biron’s outstretched goal stick. Schnookie: “Wow. I didn’t think Biron had that in him.” Pookie: “Wow. I didn’t think Hossa could skate that slowly.”
3:37 Hissssss… Beninati takes Mikey C’s name in vain when he likens Hard As Nails Cunts’s hair (which Hartnell claims he’s been growing since October) to Mikey C’s famed afro. Considering that Hartnell looks, at best, unkempt, the comparison is not even remotely apt. Pookie sniffs, “Well, Hartnell’s no Mikey C, I guess.”
1:28 Is it just us, or does John Stevens have a robot herpe on his lip? Has he been making out with Chris Drury again?
0:00 That period was a bit less entertaining than the first, probably because the Flyers looked around their dressing room during the intermission and realized Biron had turned back into a pumpkin. Or maybe it was every bit as entertaining, but we were too distracted by the way it so severely taxed VS’s ability to keep up.
SECOND INTERMISSION
This break gives Pookie a chance to explain her hierarchy of things she doesn’t want to see profiles of during intermissions, listed in order of most to least palatable: “The history of the octopus in Detroit, Brian Rafalski, Mario Lemieux.”
THIRD PERIOD
19:24 We are still laughing amongst ourselves at our intermission discussion imagining Hatcher mistaking Biron for a pumpkin and carving him into a jack-o-lantern. We figure his teammates would be horrified until they realized that if Bobby Clarke was still in charge, he’d be doing exactly the same thing.
18:59 A message appears at the bottom of our screen that says, “For coverage of the Players, turn to the non-HD Versus.” Pookie spazzes for a moment, “Are they doing individual coverage of all the players on regular Versus?” Pause. “Oh, it’s the golf Players.”
18:02 Jesus Christ, but VS is plumbing new depths with their approach to replays. There is a lengthy break before a faceoff in the Philadelphia zone, and they tell us we’re about to see some highlights showing the ways the Flyers are missing Timonen, but they just show us Jones firing wide on an early power play (because Timonen would have stopped that from happening), and then a really odd angle of the second Malkin goal, from which they cut away before it’s done. We can’t even figure out what they’re showing instead of replays. This is just ridiculously awful.
16:37 Fleury’s no pumpkin! He makes a whippy glove save on a shot through modest traffic.
15:25 Hatcher hits a Pen, and Beninati describes it as “throttling.” Boomer, as Hatcher: “Derian not bite. Derian throttle.” Pookie: “Travis is like, ‘No, that’s a bite.’”
14:48 Boomer’s on a roll now – when Beninati tells us Hatcher has likened our boyfriend Beaker to Mike Modano, she explains, as Hatcher, “Name sound same.”
13:40 Briere is unable to get to a loose puck for a good scoring chance, and Pookie snaps, “If Briere wasn’t so slow…” Then she stops and admits, “I have really unreasonable expectations of how fast these guys should be.” Schnookie: “It’s because you watch the Devils all the time and you know those guys are always going at half-speed. Since the team you watch the most is capable of going twice as fast as they do in games, you just expect it of everyone else, too.”
11:53 HAHAHAHAHA!!! It looks for a moment like Carter and Upshall are maybe working a little forecheck, but Whitney just stands Carter up, face-to-face, and Carter crumples lamely to the ice, letting Whitney skate away with the puck.
10:38 The crowd is all ready to just go up when Sid leads a long rush and then tries to spread the D with some passing, but no one out there with him wants to shoot, and the play breaks down with Gonchar opting to dish to Ruutu, whose shot is easily blocked.
8:28 Whitney gets called for tripping, and Darren hilariously remarks that this PP would be a good time for Briere to show up, since he hasn’t exactly been noticeable in this game.
6:28 Still no Briere. Heh.
5:10 Shortly after Sid just misses getting enough on a shot through traffic that would have caught Biron napping, Hossa takes a stick in the face. There is no call, and the fans, apparently forgetting the one they got away with in Game 5 against the Rangers, roar their disapproval.
4:36 Hm. The Leafs are looking smarter and smarter for not giving up Kaberle, as Carter can’t finish his swaggering deke around Fleury on a surprisingly well-conceived rush by the Flyers.
1:47 The teams are trading deep-in-each-other’s-zone chances again, and Hartnell labors to set up a feed from behind the goal line to a fast-trailing Flyers d-man storming up on the play. Beninati calls it, “He puts some extra sauce on the pass to Hatcher,” and Schnookie groans, “Why would he bother?”
1:28 A scrum breaks out when Upshall and Letang shove at each other, and VS finally does something right, choosing to zoom in on Malkin swatting at Hatcher while Sykora desperately hangs on to him. Pookie: “It’s like Sykkie’s finally getting revenge for the concussion Hatcher gave him in the 2000 SCF. He’s waited eight years for this, and now he’s like, ‘I’ll hold him down, and you hit him, Geno!’”
Things peter out, and then suddenly Malone and Hatcher are bumping chests like a couple of hopped-up peacocks. The on-ice mics are just barely picking up their conversation, which Boomer reimagines thusly:
Malone: “What an ugly sweater!”
Hatcher: “Well I’ve been wearing it all night!”
There is a long stoppage during which we are appalled that any sporting arena outside New Jersey would even dare to play Bon Jovi (and we find it pathetically sad that when the PA cuts out, the fans keep singing. People, that’s a New Jersey anthem! Are you trying to show off how like Devils fans you are?), and then the organist kicks in with a too-fast version of our favorite arena ditty. Pookie says, aghast, “God, they can’t even play ‘The Rangers Suck’ right.” Pause. “That is what it’s called, right?”
The manpower situation shakes out to end the game on a Pittsburgh power play.
0:42 Fleury makes a save on a Carter shot, and VS gives us a mini highlight reel of his saves tonight. Pookie: “I kind of refuse to believe that Marc-Andre Fleury is the real deal.”
0:04 Coburn finish things off with a hooking penalty in his attempt to keep Sid from making an empty-netter happen.
0:00 That was delightful! And also sad! We’re still 50/50 on this one, and have high hopes for this series. Our only disappointment tonight was that there was a bit of a letdown, and the final score wasn’t 700-698.
ack!
Yay! Hockey! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Is that a good “ack!” or a bad “ack!”
I’ve been dying for this game to start. Between my crushes on Biron and Crosby my ovaries just might pop! Good times!
I’ll be checking in during intermission to complain about Modry, the refs, and Crosby’s stache.
Enjoy the game!
Oh No! White out!
Kristin, we’ll be here! Have fun with the game!
*yawn* *rubbing eyes* Hi everyone :)
White out? Boo.
Good morning, Mags! :D
nervous ack
Good evening, Pookie :)
And off we go. GO PENS.
I’m having a real issue with the white out. This is not at all fun when you’ve only just woken up.
I thought Sid didn’t want the white out and wanted the Shih Tsus in top hats?
Yeah, where are the little dogs in top hats?!
I guess Sid’s not as powerful as we thought! Interesting…
I’m really excited that Joe B. just mentioned this game is exclusively on Versus and available in HD. Watching on regular Versus is a bit like watching through a dirty fishbowl.
I can’t believe it but right now I am completely truly cheering for both teams! This is crazy! Crazy FUN! (It would be more fun if there were little dogs in top hats. Sid’s letting me down.)
I’m totally disappointed there are no Shih Tsus in top hats. My sister is sitting next to me, even more delirious than I am, suggesting all sorts of ways we could make that happen. Most of them involve alcohol. Heh.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
You guys, I love Malkin SO MUCH. (I know that wasn’t him who scored. But he was there.)
WOOOOOOOOO!!
So, did you cheer at IPB Manor? I’m so curious about your curious Flyers love.
How can I be cheering for the Pens but feel so bad for little Biron. These feelings are so strange…
Malkin is so freakin’ awesome. Sykora… not so much. Oh wait! I said I was going to be nice to Sykkie, wasn’t I? Maybe PJ’s somewhere in the crowd trying to make up for the lack of tiny dogs?
So, did you cheer at IPB Manor?
Heh, heh, fuuuuuny story. There was a lengthy silence followed by an “Awwww fuck.” But there’s a ton of suspicion that that was in response to the fact that it was Sykora who scored the goal. We all agree that it equal parts being happy for the Pens that they scored and equal parts being unhappy for the Flyers.
UNCOOL!…
No goal?
Bugger.
Ew, Flyers.
I should point out that the minute they showed those Flyers fans in the bar I thought, “Whatever happens in Games 1 and 2, I’ll probably be cheering for Pittsburgh in Games 3 and 4.”
Those Flyer fans were kind of scary. Wouldn’t want to meet up with them in a dark alley.
I consider Philly sports fans as a group to be one of the great mysteries of the universe. How can such a nice city full of nice people have such terrifying fans? It’s bizarre.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
My advice to the Penguins is to NOT leave Mike Richards alone with the puck in front of a wide-open net.
Whooooooo!!!!!!
Meanwhile, the Flyers shouldn’t let Sid have the puck at all! That was AWESOME!
That. Was so. Awesome.
That was BREATHTAKING!
These games are all going to be like 98-94, aren’t they?
How can such a nice city full of nice people have such terrifying fans?
Seriously. One of my best friends from college is from Philly and she’s such a sweetheart.
That was a pretty nifty poke check by Fleury.
It did, however, look to me like Sid kicked that in with his back foot. I’d to see a reverse angle but this is Blersus so that will never happen.
CBC showed the weirdest replay of Sid’s goal. It was like it was from a camera in the 300 section.
These games are all going to be like 98-94, aren’t they?
I hope so! (If there were ever two goalies capable of that kind of game, this is them!)
wtf!! cool stuff is happening??? My blersus is not working suddenly and we can’t get through to Time Warner. This sucks!
Heather, I forgot about CBC! (Erin, do you have CBC?)
It did, however, look to me like Sid kicked that in with his back foot.
I thought he got it with his stick at an angle, although I’m not positive.
Katebits, prolly not. ;( This is the worst night ever after the worst week ever. I’ve been waiting for this!!!! *having an actual baby fit*
*having an actual baby fit*
I had one of those earlier when I found out that I have to go to a baby shower the same day that I was planning to go shopping at The Refinery. I’m still trying to figure out a way to work it in on this trip, even if it kills me.
I totally thought that wraparound went in.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
I LOVE HIM SO SO SO MUCH!!!!!
WHOA! That was a goal and a half! MALKIN SO WANTS TO BE A DEVIL NEXT YEAR! I KNOW IT!
Malkin!!
(This game is so fun!)
Well, thinking about shopping and The Refinery is kind of making me laugh. While I stare at a blank screen that says ‘channel 2 ’sportsne’ not authorized, I’ll think about crunchy folding pants.
And I’m sorry, Erin. Time Warner sucks!
You guys are killing me
Ok, I have commercials on. I see the guy that can’t catch a football….but no sound. This is an imporvement.
I’m really saddened that its Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts as the nipple guy in the Amp Energy commercial.
Dear Marty,
Please do not leave your crease.
Love,
Kristin
Sound and pictures! Now we’re in business.
Is that really Donkey Lips?
Dear Sid,
I see that you filled in your stache using a fine tip sharpie. Nice try, but it still looks creepy.
Sincerely,
Kristin
Yay for Erin’s Blersus!
Kristin, this game is so much fun, right? Right? Hee hee!
That is really Donkey Lips.
Dear Modry,
I am blaming you for that first goal.
No Love For You,
Kristin
Holy COW. Don Cherry’s suit is burning my retinas.
Is that dust on Sid’s cap? Get that from the attic?
Sid’s looking slightly better in this interview. Maybe the hat helps draw attention away from the facial hair.
Kristin, this game is so much fun, right? Right? Hee hee!
Yeah Pookie, I love watching the wheels finally fall off of Marty! Wheeeeeeeee! This is fun!!!!
Holy COW. Don Cherry’s suit is burning my retinas.
Did Don Cherry kill some flamingos to make that suit?
I’m sorry, Kristin! Don’t worry, there’s tons of
Brahmshockey left to be played.Yeah Pookie, that’s what I’m afraid of!
At least it’s a tad more interesting than the Stars/Wings game!!
We all think Ryan Malone has just stuffed a wraparound shot in, but it turns out it’s just a failure of our depth perception.
I’m so glad to hear someone else thought that went in. I actually WOOOed before I realized the players were not stopping in celebration. (I still think that went in.)
I would like to sincerely and abjectly apologize for criticizing Doc and Edzo last night. I forgot what the alternative was.
(And I really mostly meant Edzo.)
(Although he’s MUCH less annoying when Pierre’s not there.)
(And I am on record as loving Doc’s Devil’s broadcasts.)
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!1
THERE IS NO ONE HOTTER THAN GENO!
Oh, Marty. That was bad, really bad.
Patty, it’s not a problem! Everyone hears with their hearts when it’s their team on VS!
Malkin is so awesome! (also, the sky is blue and grass is green)
That was sexy. Totally.
Poor little Marty. Yay Pens!
*barf*
Love the cherry picking on the PK, Malkin! That entire play was INSANE!
Poor Marty. He’s all, “Just get it over with, Dude.”
I heard Beninati say something about “basket hanging”.
Yeah, I couldn’t quit figure out the “basket hanging” thing.
Sorry, kristin. I know how you feel.
Thanks Patty. I’ve actually stopped watching already. Is that bad?
(It’s just that I know what we look like when we are about to tank, and this is it….)
Kristin, right now you can know that so far none of your guys has cherry picked on the PK, so that’s a plus! :P
Plus, I asked Rod if I could watch with the volume off, because the sound of the Pens goal song really makes me angry and he said no. So I stormed upstairs like a cranky child.
Kristin, I will mute the TV every time the Rangers score at home against the Devils. I just cannot handle the goal song and the fans cheering. So I hear ya.
Kristin, muting the television is always my FIRST move when hockey is really upsetting me.
Kristin, I will mute the TV every time the Rangers score at home against the Devils. I just cannot handle the goal song and the fans cheering. So I hear ya.
Thank god somebody understands!
it really all stems from my road trip to Pittsburgh. There was an annoying guy next to me dancing around like he was a 12 year old girl when in reality he was a 50 year old guy who should not be dancing.
grrrrrrrrrr.
Kristin, muting the television is always my FIRST move when hockey is really upsetting me.
I watched all of game 5 vs Montreal with no sound, and was perfectly content. Like I really need to hear the Blersus guys anyhow!
I leave the sound on but leave the room. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve laid down on the bed in the bedroom but listened to the Sabres on TV.
When hockey is upsetting me I make cookie pudding. That’s how I maintain my girlish figure.
I do the dishes a lot when I can’t bear to watch. Many many times I have come tearing into the livingroom making a mess with water and soapy sponges because I heard RJ squawking about something.
About bad hockey and food, I think it was in January of this year, the Sabres were playing Phoneix and losing bad, and they kept playing that horrible howling noise every time the scored, so I left the room and made apple cheddar muffins. I could still hear the howling, but those muffins were so good.
Marty’s tape! Yay! And 12 years? Dude, he’s been wearing the skates all of his pro career.
Marty’s tape! Yay! And 12 years? Dude, he’s been wearing the skates all of his pro career.
Miller said that he’s now deaf in his right ear from having to listen to Marty rip entire rolls of tape off of himself each and every time he took the ice.
When hockey upsets me I just keep watching. I’m punishing myself for being tricked into becoming a fan. I could be blithely doing crossword puzzles and watching sitcoms I don’t even like, but nnneeewwwww. I have to watch hockey whether I want to or not.
but nnneeewwwww. I have to watch hockey whether I want to or not.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: (Sorry to laugh at your pain, Patty!)
Patty, you’re breaking my heart! It’s just one game!
Miller said that he’s now deaf in his right ear from having to listen to Marty rip entire rolls of tape off of himself each and every time he took the ice.
Ha! I believe that!
When hockey upsets me I just keep watching.
I am usually able to stick with it, but something about tonight’s game is particularly misery inducing.
Those watching on CBC, don’t spoil Grapes’ suit! I don’t want to know what I’ll be ignoring when I have SportsCenter on in the background tonight.
Oh, I’m over that game. I just meant, you know, whenever hockey upsets me! It’s been often.
I watched every minute of every game we “played” in March.
Yikes, Randy Jones is not hot at all.
Guh. The fact that Cherry isn’t going to be on Blersus is a HUGE point in Blersus’ favor.
Boy, that period just FLEW by!
They did a Grapes “Best Of” on the 6PM SportsCenter.
It included the one I’ll even admit to loving, where Grapes is in LA with the earring on and he goes “Let’s have both teams win. Why keep score?”
That period was a bit less entertaining than the first, probably because the Flyers looked around their dressing room during the intermission and realized Biron had turned back into a pumpkin.
Quite possibly the funniest thing you’ve ever written. I’m totally stealing the idea for my blog’s post-mortem!
I don’t want to burn any bridges yet, but I’m kind of leaning toward the Pens. Not sure though. The Flyers aren’t out of the running.
I don’t want to burn any bridges yet, but I’m kinda leaning towards the Pens…
Awww, poor Kimmo. He’s kinda pretty.
Kristin, the Flyers aren’t out of the running! You forgot that part!
Okay guys, I’m going back in….gonna put my ipod on so I can’t hear anything!
I don’t want to burn any bridges yet, but I’m kinda leaning towards the Pens…
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Kimmo is verrrrrrry pretty!
I have little to no internet connection tonight, so this is totes late, but Malkin took a freakin slapper! His balls are made of the same stuff that’s attached to Wolverine’s bones or Iron Man’s suit! I can’t believe that even happened.
Whenever I look at Marty now, all I see is a pumpkin!
Margee, Malkin must have balls of adamantium if he was going to cherry pick on the PK!
Whenever I look at Marty now, all I see is a pumpkin!
Mission accomplished!
I don’t understand the big whoop about Malkin’s supposed cherry picking. The dude scored a foxy goal! PLUS he was slow getting up because he got smushed!
In addition to Biron turning back into the pumpkin, Derien Hatcher has gone from being the fey footman to being GusGus again. Big and mentally slow.
He was slow getting up but then totally hovered at center ice. But I with you, Kate, I don’t care because that goal was hot.
Hey, is Briere playing tonight? Don’t think I’ve seen him.
I don’t understand the big whoop about Malkin’s supposed cherry picking.
It’s just crazy that he was doing it when his team was down a man! That takes balls of adamantium! And yeah, it was a totally foxy goal.
Derien Hatcher has gone from being the fey footman to being GusGus again.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! I think that’s the first and only time the word “fey” will be used in the same sentence as the name Darien Hatcher!
Derien Hatcher has gone from being the fey footman to being GusGus again
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Yeah, on the CBC preshow they were discussing how Philly would be relying on Hatcher to pick up Timmonen’s slack. (Sucks for Philly.)
I’m not upset that Malkin cherry picked but I do think it’s totally funny and entertaining.
I know I’m just revealing my hockey stupidity, but I always fail to see the big whoop about cherry picking. You never hear anything about it until after some dude scores a really foxy goal. Then everyone is all like, “CHERRY PICKER”, and I’m like, “Wait? You mean that dude who just scored the hot goal because he was standing in exactly the right place? CHERRY PICKING IS HOT!” :P
I’m not upset that Malkin cherry picked but I do think it’s totally funny and entertaining.
Exactly! And it’s funny and entertaining because when Malkin becomes a Devil because he soooo wants to he’ll never do that again!
I know I’m just revealing my hockey stupidity, but I always fail to see the big whoop about cherry picking.
At even strength it’s a bit less of a big whoop (although still risky) but to do it on the penalty kill is extremely risky. It means that if the Flyers get possession of the puck they’ll essentially have a 5-on-3 power play temporarily. It’s more likely to backfire then get you a goal, generally speaking. (I’ve actually never seen it before, at least in a real, important game.)
I know I’m just revealing my hockey stupidity, but I always fail to see the big whoop about cherry picking.
Consider for a moment what it would have looked like if Philly had gotten the puck back and scored on what would then be a 5-on-3 because Malkin was forcing his teammates to make up the defensive slack while he waited for them to feed him the puck. That’s not a pretty picture! :D In this case, Malkin didn’t hustle because he saw his team had possession, but that’s why generally cherry picking is frowned on.
I’ve actually never seen it before, at least in a real, important game.
Exactly! Balls of adamantium!
No, no, I do understand why cherry picking can lead to trouble. (I’m being a willful airhead right now! I apologize!)
Hehehehehe! Malkin’s second goal was HILARIOUS! God I love that lil Malkin face. He’s like a hockey bad boy with all that cherry picking. :D
I’m being a willful airhead right now! I apologize!
And I’m being the humorless Devils fan who finds flashy offense suspect, so I apologize!
On a side note, if I see this song on the Dockers commercial is the new Dodge commercial’s “Silly fairy!” And I’ll kill a snitch if I have to hear it again.
Margee, thank you so so so much for continuing to diarize ANTM! I was so happy to have the last recap to read at work.
You’re welcome. I like doing them, but I turn into last scene in Amadeus while writing them.
Margee,
I have to thank you for the ANTM re-caps as well. They are hilarious.
You’re welcome. I like doing them, but I turn into last scene in Amadeus while writing them.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Hee! (I don’t watch ANTM, Margee, so I’m sorry but I haven’t read you recap, but I LOVED that Islanders game you recapped by telling us about your snacks.) I tried to write a hockey game diary once and I almost died. I thought it was almost impossibly hard. Having seen the Ookies diarizing in the flesh (it’s true, they diarize naked) I can testify to their extreme skillz.
Yay! Well, this game was deeeeelightful. I’ll admit it got a little boring after the Pens took firm control, but all in all, I’m pleased.
(I’m so sorry about that game, kristin!)
I admire Les Ookies nine millions times over for their Game Diaries. I rely on them. They are so hard to do, and they are so hard to do funny. And naked. But they do it better than anyone.
And Katebits the snack-driven Game Day was mostly a lie, because I put away so much more soy jerky than I admitted to.
Yeah, I’ve diarized just once. It’s hella hard. Although it probably didn’t help that I was drunk blogging. YAY for Ookies and Margee!
I still haven’t had the guts to diarize a game. I can’t even take understandable notes. I never thought to try it naked. That might help.
I’m tempted to start watching ANTM, Margee, just so I’ll know what the heck you’re talking about in the diaries. :D
Patty, it makes all the difference. Just be careful when prepared game time bacon. Spatter. Yowch!
(I’m so sorry about that game, kristin!)
Katebits, thanks for your sympathy…
The feeling of nausea has subsided a bit now.
The naked part is really key. (Thanks for the kind words, guys!)
I’ll admit it got a little boring after the Pens took firm control, but all in all, I’m pleased.
Me too! I was really hoping it would be eight-billion-to-eight-billion-to-one. Next game!
I am sorry for you, Kristin (and Nadine) that the Flyers lost. It’s just game one, though! There’s still hope!
yep, one game at a time is what I keep telling myself.
Holy shit, guys. I feel so old right now. Petr Sykora is literally a gray beard now.
Patty, I consider it a personal affront that you aren’t watching Top Model. It’s all the trannies of Rock of Love with the tasteful decorum of The Hills. Come to the dark side.
But I’ll forgive you if you watch Friday Night Lights. I have to save that show if it’s the last thing I do.
Um…
Oh. Oh, Patty.
Sniff.
It’s Patty’s and Katebits’s loss, Margee! It’s their loss. *shakes head sadly for all the unintentional comedy gone underappreciated*
Pookie, can you eriously remember a weaker field than the current top three?
And weren’t you angry when you realized how hard Lauren would have rocked this photo shoot?
I suck, don’t I?
I really can’t think of a weaker field. Like you said, the one with Bre and Nik and Nicole sucked, but this is so much worse. There’s no question who’s winning, and logistically there’s no chance that Whitney makes the final two, so we all know now how it’s going to play out. I hadn’t thought at all about how great Lauren would have done at that shoot! I wish they’d done it before the commercial shoot (in which she was truly atrocious; I mean, she was worse than Norelle’s Japanese commercial).
Patty, you could never suck. You’re awesome. But you’re treasonous. Against myself and Jay Manuel and Peter Berg.
Pookie, if they find a way to make Fatima win, I’m going to write a letter. Yes. A letter. That’ll learn them.
But at least Norelle could take a good pho-toe. Annyong is litterally the only one capable of doing so in the Final Three despite being physically far less beautiful than either Whitney or Fatima. It’s nuts!
Fatima cannot win. She just cannot. Every now and then they get an angle of her that makes her look pretty but she is so damn skinny! I mean, even the runway designers were disgusted by how skinny she is!
But you’re treasonous. Against myself and Jay Manuel and Peter Berg.
What? Peter Berg? He’s on ANTM?!
Oh, wait. Probably Friday Night Lights, eh?
And even with Fatima’s face, she can’t take a good picture! This is why it’s wrong! But she has a cause. I’m terrified this will put her over. Terrified.
Patty, Berg is the creator and one-time guest star of FNL. And also the most inexplicably hot dude with snaggle teeth in history.
*Tiny voice* I don’t watch Friday Night Lights either.
I feel like now I have Buzz Bissinger as an excuse to not watch FNL!
Bissinger is right! All you bloggers are smutty degenerates!
I bet none of you have even read W.C. Heinz.
I feel like now I have Buzz Bissinger as an excuse to not watch FNL!
Totally! He probably makes money that he uses to try to get the internet unplugged because of that show!
If W.C. Heinz starred in FNL I might consider watching it. But since he’s not, I’ll stick to my smutty degenerate entertainment.
He probably makes money that he uses to try to get the internet unplugged because of that show!
Oh my god, you’re RIGHT! I’m totally BOYCOTTING FNL now!
He probably makes money that he uses to try to get the internet unplugged because of that show!
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And he’s so crazy it might just work.
I loathe Fatima! But Annyong is missing a huge chunk of her cerebral cortex/has way too much energy. She reminds me of a damn hamster on a wheel.
Awww don’t let Buzz Bissinger ruin Friday Night Lights for you! It’s magical! Tim Riggins is a hot bitch AND he LOVES bloggers.
WC Heinz is on ANTM, right? That must be why I’ve never heard of him. I don’t watch that show.
I just looked it up on IMDB, and apparently, Buzz Bissinger has nothing to do with Friday Night Lights and he’s been barred by the government from receiving any royalties, credits or oily stickers resulting from the show.
The head writer is named Sidney Crosby and he’s from Halifax, Nova Scotia. The executive producer is a man named Paul Martin, who went to the University of Minnesota according to his profile. Who knew those two were moonlighting? Now all of you have to watch FNL!
WC Heinz is on ANTM, right? That must be why I’ve never heard of him.
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She is, and she looks like a totally tranny wrench! She’s always stealing people’s granola bars and writing poetry about how awesome she is.
Who knew those two were moonlighting?
Wow! They’re so talented! (Someday I’ll watch it on DVD. Someday.)
Nice try, Margee! You’re sneaky, though — I almost fell for it. I get so hypnotized by the names “Sidney” “Paul” “Crosby” and “Martin”, in almost any order.
But Annyong is missing a huge chunk of her cerebral cortex
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Alix, you hit the nail on the head. Annyong reminds me of Nell. “Chicka-pee-nay-say…”
Annyong reminds me of Nell. “Chicka-pee-nay-say…”
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I think she should win just on the strength of being the only girl, in the entire history of ANTM, to be made prettier by a bleached makeover. They should erect statues of her in the next ANTM house.
It’s true! She’s the patron saint of Jolen!
You guys, I am LOSING at MarioKart to BOOMER. This is probably the lowest point of my entire life.
Annyong reminds me of Nell. “Chicka-pee-nay-say…”
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Hee! Check out this quote by Geno about his shorthanded goal. He’s so cute.
“It was really last second decision. All my penalty shots wasn’t that great all the time, pretty much. So in the last second I just decided to shoot that puck as hard as I can. I didn’t think about it, where to shoot, and to make any moves. Just as hard as I can.”
Awwww I’m sorry, Schnookie. You better start trash talking her. “Boomer loooves Derian Hatcher”
“Boomer loooves Derian Hatcher”
Yeah, seriously! Heh heh. “Boomer love Derian! Derian also love Boomer! Boomer and Derian match made in heaven. Have so much in common.” (That’s the meanest thing I’ve ever said.)
HA HA HA!! Mean but funny. (Sorry Boomer)
Good morning to anyone who’s around! I had to get up EARLY today just because we ordered a fancy-schmancy cake for Boomer and I had to go pick it up from the bakery. My life is SO HARD.
Good morning, Schnookie! The Kid and I are still in our PJ’s and I’m catching up on last night’s blog. What is a “cherry picking” play? Remember, I’m still a newbie, so use small words! : )
That’s so sweet about getting Boomer a special cake and big celebration. The Kid’s b-day is on Monday, so b-day & Mother’s Day get all mushed up in our house.
Cherry picking is when a forward (or, I suppose, a d-man, although I’ve never seen that…) doesn’t get back into the defensive play, instead hovering at center ice or the far blue line to wait for his teammates to get the puck and spring him for a breakaway. It’s a high-risk, high-reward play — on the one hand, you’re basically making it so your team is playing down a man (or down two, if you’re on the PK), but if they can get the puck out to you, you’re in alone. As a habitual thing, it’s kind of traditionally considered the tool of the lazy, me-first player, like the guy who’s too selfish or one-dimensional to commit to playing the other side of the puck. Although as Katebits pointed out, it’s something that can pay off hugely hottly when a great goal is scored. (And there were a few extenuating circumstances to Malkin’s cherry pick last night, not least that he was slow to get up and back into the play after being hit, as he was dogging it to try to draw a penalty.) You don’t see much of it anymore in this age of team defenses and trapping, but recent practitioners of the art of the cherry pick have been Jagr and Ovechkin (who I don’t think saw his own side of the red line more than three times in his first two seasons).
That’s so sweet that you get to have Mother’s Day and the Kid’s birthday kind of all mashed up (unless you both wish you had your own days…)! We do Mother’s Day up now because we finally realized it was REALLY hard to get Boomer birthday presents and Christmas presents (her b-day is in November). So now we do her birthday presents for Mother’s Day. It’s nicer to break the year up that way — it gives us more time to come up with ideas and is easier on our budgets.
Ovechkin (who I don’t think saw his own side of the red line more than three times in his first two seasons).
Hee!
Thanks for the explanation. I don’t think I’ve seen that done yet.
Kid was born the day after Mother’s Day. I think this may be the first time it has fallen the same since. I definitely understand why my sister’s and my birthday was so special to my mom, now! So, yes it is kinda cool to be at the same time. I don’t think Kid minds too much, except when all her friends had gone out of town for the weekend and couldn’t do her party then. We now have it weekend before or after. This year she turns 11 and we are having our first slumber party!
Kid wants to know which Mariocart character Boomer uses. She thinks it’s way cool that Boomer plays. I am useless at all video games. REALLY bad eye/hand coordination.
Oooh! The first slumber party! What fun!! My birthday is around Memorial Day weekend (I was born on Memorial Day, actually), so I know what it’s like to not have any of your friends around for your party. I remember my last attempt at a party with friends from school — I invited seven kids over for a slumber party, and all seven RSVP’d that they couldn’t come because it was the end of the school year and they were all going away. Or none of them liked me. Either way, I could read the writing on the wall, and never tried another party again. I think I was 11.
You probably haven’t seen any cherry picking yet in your nascent fandom because you watch the Stars, and the coaching staff would castrate any guy who cherry picked in that system. I think Modano, though, was once the model of the defensively soft, dangling goal-scorer, and one of the remarkable things about his career in Dallas was that he evolved into the defensively-sound guy he is now.
Boomer races as Toad in Mariokart. She’s also terrible at video games, although she’s getting decent at handling the steering wheel Wii controller. It was a terrible blow to my self-esteem that Boomer beat me last night. If you’re losing to Boomer at any video game, Wii or otherwise, you’re an abject failure. :P
Kid’s response, “Ahhh, (squeal), she’s racing Toad! I love Toad, he’s so cute. With his mushroom hat thing.” Ok, Boomer has definitely moved ahead of me in the “Cool Mom” category.
My birthday falls on Thanksgiving every so often so that can be a royal pain for the family trying to squeeze it in between turkey and Christmas decorating/shopping.
Hubbie’s is around Columbus Day, not so much of a problem. :P
We are pommerdoodling until time to go down to the AAC to watch the big game in 90 degree heat. What! One of the things I love about hockey is that is indoors and cold. Something is very wrong with this picture. :)
Ok, Boomer has definitely moved ahead of me in the “Cool Mom” category.
HAHAHAHA!!! She’ll laugh when I tell her that, and probably demur, “She just hasn’t met me.” Heh. But I gotta say, Boomer is one hell of a cool mom. :D
I’m so excited for you that you’re going to watch the game on the big screen! It’s so funny that we all associate hockey with being indoors and cold, but the most important time of year is all about it being hot out. I still remember with no small fondness the terrible sun poisoning I got from the Stanley Cup parade in 2003…
That must totally blow to have your birthday crammed into the Thanksgiving/Christmas corridor. Did you ever do half-birthdays instead? Pookie and I had a friend when we were kids who did hers that way, so her day could be more just about her. (Our dad’s birthday was on Columbus Day, so I’m guessing that’s a great sign of good character, in him and in your hubbie! :D)
…still remember with no small fondness the terrible sun poisoning I got from the Stanley Cup parade in 2003…
Yikes. The warmest I’ve ever been was marching in the local parade in full uniform during late August. Late August in Texas means upper 90’s to 100. I turn very redfaced when hot, my band director kept coming and marching beside me because he just knew I was going to faint.
No, we never did half-b-days, my sister’s is early December. We just cram it all into one month. It gets a little insane at times but that’s just how we roll! :P
We are pommerdoodling until time to go down to the AAC to watch the big game in 90 degree heat.
Oooh, fun! Have a great time!
My birthday falls on Thanksgiving every so often
That’s nice to get a long weekend for your birthday, though! Mine falls around Labor Day; I love having a three-day weekend to spread my birthday celebration out.
Having a holiday weekend for a birthday RAWKS. Mine is actually on the Wednesday after Memorial Day this year, but I’m doing the birthday thing on the three-day weekend instead. It’s turned out very nicely that Pookie’s birthday is on Labor Day, then, too. We sandwich summer perfectly! :D
I think a month-long bacchanal of Thanksgiving, birthdays, and Christmas sounds like a blast!
HA HA HA! Eklund and friends are saying the Devils and Canucks are in close talks, and we’re taking Gio for one of our d-men. Take care of Matty if you get him, ok? :D This makes so much sense, because the Canucks are so huge up front already :p
I love Eklund’s Devils rumors! The one thing all the Devils beat writers say is that if someone’s claiming to know what’s going on behind the scenes with the Devils, that person is flat-out lying. Heh. Anyway, enjoy Gio. He’s a spunky little guy, assuming he ever remembers how to crash the net. And we’ll try to take good care of Matty for you. (Are you sure it’s not Willie Bitchell? Lou loves nothing more than trading for ex-Devils.)
You’re right, it could be Bill Pickle. Hee. And we do need more net crashers…
I’m so sure this is going to be announced tomorrow :p
I’m so sure this is going to be announced tomorrow :p
Yeeeeah… I wouldn’t wait for that while hanging from a rope ’round your neck. :P
Hee. Good advice.
The one thing all the Devils beat writers say is that if someone’s claiming to know what’s going on behind the scenes with the Devils, that person is flat-out lying.
Yeah, Lou doesn’t let on much.
Hey IPB and gang, how’s life today? I feel like I lost my day to the Wii…
Game’s about to start! There’s a tiny but ominous storm right above my house. I hope it doesn’t screw with my picture.
Oh no, Patty! That’s terrible! Is the storm localized to just your house? (And you can answer me on the new open thread…)