Well, Gentle Reader, it’s now officially the off-season again (we know, we know — it’s felt like the off-season around here for weeks), and we’re sure you’re wondering what’s in store over the next few hockeyless months here at IPB. You’re probably also worrying that this interminable four-month span going to be as bereft of IPB’s wit and wisdom as it is of hockey. It’s a terrifying thought, and one you can put to rest, because, Gentle Reader, we’re going to be here every day with hot new summer-appropriate content. That’s right! It is great news! We’re not sure exactly where the summer is going to take us, but here’s a sneak peek at some of what we’ve got on tap:
What’s that you’ve got for us, Augustus?
First up, we’re going to be hitting the road for the long-in-planning IPB Irregulars Potted Plant Cotillion. A group of us will be making the trip to Ottawa to take over the Draft, in what promises to be the social event of the (off-)season! If you can’t make the trip yourself, never fear — we’ll be blogging every last second of it. We’ll bring you all the thrills and chills of watching from the upper deck while teenage boys put on baseball caps and hockey sweaters on the floor of the arena, and bazillions of photographs taken out the front window of our car on the sixteen-hour round trip. Nothing says “IPB” quite like a hockey-themed road trip, so you won’t want to miss a word of it!
Of course, the Draft isn’t the only sporting event we care about that’s happening this summer. You may have heard about a certain multi-sport meet happening in some big, human-rights-violating country on the other side of the planet. The Oly-something-or-other. Yeah, we’ll be writing a bit about that, too. Namely, game diaries doubling as paeans to the wondrousness that is Olympic swimming in HD.
There’s an outside chance that we’ll be here this summer to cover hockey news as well, but if the news is anything less than Vinny Lecavalier’s inevitable trade to the Devils, don’t expect too much.
Finally, we have a new summer blogpost series in store as well. You may remember our award-winning* series, “118 Reasons We Love Hockey” from last summer. We’d love to revisit that triumph with something like “118 More Reasons We Love Hockey”, but the NHL hasn’t come to us with proposals to use our series as a lucrative (for us) promotional series (for them), so we’re saving it. In the meantime, we’re pleased to introduce you to “Project Bicycle Spoke”:
The revolutionary box you see in that picture is IPB’s trademarked “Project Bicycle Spoke” Hockey Trading Card Holder-Dispenser.
It speaks the truth on its sides, which read “A hockey card a day keeps the doldrums away”. We’ve purchased a variety of packs of hockey cards, and will be depositing them in a big mix into the box. Every day we’ll draw, at random, one card, and then write a post about that card. We have no idea what those posts will be like, other than that they will be inspired by the card of the day. This could be a magnificent experience, reminding us of how much we enjoy writing, but it could also be a glorious disaster. One way or the other, you won’t want to miss this, either, Gentle Reader. It’s blogging without a net!
We’re sure the offseason will also bring us all manner of surprises and tangential inspirations as well, just the way the on-season did. The hockey might not be on our TV, but the blog must go on. So join us, won’t you?
*May not have actually won any awards.