This is the 12th in our summer series where we are drawing hockey cards at random from a box and then writing about them.
Beginning five years ago, IPB had a dream. A dream that involved the Devils trading for Marco Sturm. You see, Gentle Reader, we had a power over Sharks forwards, a power to draw them to the Devils if we just wished for them hard enough. For years and years we’d been targeting Jeff Friesen, and in the summer of 2002, the sheer force of our psychic energies made it happen. Sure, he was coming from the Ducks, but dude. We’d been yearning for him when he was a Shark. And in the end, look how it turned out! Flush with success, we shifted our focus to Marco Sturm. Speedy, defensively awesome, pleasant-looking, durable, German… what’s not to love? Well, today’s draw from the PBS dispenser is throwing into sharp relief what the Devils still lack:
Where did things go wrong for us?
The Bruins acquired Sturm, Brad Stuart, and Wayne Primeau for Joe Thornton. Dude, Sharks, we totally wouldn’t have made you package those other guys just to get us to take Sturm off your hands. We would have happily given you the playmaking center you were looking for, but the one we would have given you is an actual proven winner. Ahem. So yeah, in our alternate universe, we gave the Sharks Gomez and replaced Pando’s BFF with a newer, better BFF. Just imagine: a checking line featuring Pando, Madden, and Sturm. No one would ever score against us! Of course, our alternate universe still has a little bit of reality in it — because Sturm is a natural winger and Madden’s a natural center, we’d surely have both of them playing out of their element, just because that’s the Devils way. Sturm would center, Madden would take the left side, and Pando (glorious Pando) would stay on the right. And they’d finish every season in a three-way tie for the Selke. The Devils would deliberately take penalties just to get our run-and-gun PK on the ice. Top lines the league over would get the “Sturm Line Flu”. What a wonderful alternate universe this is. And meanwhile, the Sharks wouldn’t be able to blame their top center for playoff failures, because he’s already a two-time Stanley Cup champ, so they’d have to run Patty Marleau out of town much faster… We think he’d look great in red and black, come to think of it.
I am, for some reason, fascinated by your magnets.
It’s perfectly natural, Kristin. Our magnets are simply awesome. :P
Good morning, everyone! I hope everyone’s having a delightful day so far. I’m struggling a bit, having been saddened anew about the Devils not catering to my every whim and getting Sturm, and by the dream I had this morning that I had to watch The Love Guru. I woke up in a cold sweat.
Our magnets rock! One of the happiest days of my life was discovering our new fridge was magnetic. We would have had to paint it with magnetic paint if it wasn’t. (I like that this picture gives just a hint of the one that says “It came from tolerating mediocrity”. I used to have that up at my desk at my old job, but now I like that it hangs out next to our Devils magnets. Heh.)
Schnookie, what a terrible nightmare!
I was trying to get the entirety of the “It came from tolerating mediocrity” magnet in the picture, but the layout wasn’t working, and I didn’t want to move anything. Because I’m lazy.
And in other news, I can’t decide whether it’s a sad day in the Parise household or not. I’m waffling between Zach being distraught and Zach having been the one to beg Lou not to qualify Jordy. :P
Oh, and my Love Guru dream was terrible, because I spent most of it trying to figure out how to make it clear to the world that I’d been involuntarily roped into seeing it.
Poor, poor Jordy. I bet he’s taking it out on his portion of the USDHL team that JP’s making him coach.
That poor, poor USDHL team! They spend every day of camp wistfully watching Staffy’s and Zach’s teams skating and shit, while they have to sit in a circle at Jordy’s feet while Jordy rails drunkenly at the world and his lot in life.
They spend every day of camp wistfully watching Staffy’s and Zach’s teams skating and shit, while they have to sit in a circle at Jordy’s feet while Jordy rails drunkenly at the world and his lot in life.
I would bet that Staffy’s team would be the happy-go-lucky fun team in that scenario, while Zach would work his team until every pass and deflection is perfect.
Staffy’s team is happy-go-lucky and fun one day and the next he’s got all the players in his dog house. It’s the only way Staffy knows how to coach. “You!” he shouts at Lindy, “I learned it from watching you!”
“You!” he shouts at Lindy, “I learned it from watching you!”
I don’t think anyone shouts at Lindy and lives to tell about it…maybe Mrs. Lindy, but that’s about it.
Maybe that’s why Staffy’s in the dog house? :D
Staffy never learns, does he?
Morning, IPB! Whew, it’s been busy. Hope everyone is doing alright.
while they have to sit in a circle at Jordy’s feet while Jordy rails drunkenly at the world and his lot in life.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Awww….that’s horribly funny, that is.
It’s a slow day for hockey today, isn’t it?
It really is a slow day for hockey. And that’s even with hockey news from Gulitti (about the Devils qualifying their RFAs)! I suppose we’re all girding ourselves for the free agent onslaught. Heh. (And hey — the RFA news wasn’t just about Jordy. Clarkson was on the list of RFAs, too, and Lou didn’t bungle things with him! WOOOOOOO!!!!! [Way back when, Lou neglected to file the paperwork correctly on Rafalski and Madden when they were young RFAs, so they both ended up becoming unrestricted and cost the Devils way more than they should have. Since then, I've breathed a sigh of relief every summer when the qualifying offers go through right.])
Since then, I’ve breathed a sigh of relief every summer when the qualifying offers go through right.])
Look, our qualifying offers are going to be lucky to make it to the necessary sources without being actually eaten first, and if they do show up, they’ll reek of tequila and be stained with barbeque sauce. It just wouldn’t be like Hull to not do that.
Way back when, Lou neglected to file the paperwork correctly on Rafalski and Madden when they were young RFAs, so they both ended up becoming unrestricted and cost the Devils way more than they should have.
Holy God. That’s a…pretty big mistake. I can’t remember anything like that happening in Stars history… please god, don’t let Brett Hull screw anything up. Please let Les Jackson handle all of this.
I suppose we’re all girding ourselves for the free agent onslaught. Heh.
I don’t think the Stars are going to make any big waves, so I’m excited to see what happens to everyone else! (It’s so much better when it’s not your team.)
Look, our qualifying offers are going to be lucky to make it to the necessary sources without being actually eaten first, and if they do show up, they’ll reek of tequila and be stained with barbeque sauce.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Oh, Hullie. You make it so easy for us! :D
I was so stunned when the Rafalski/Madden thing happened. Lou had seemed so competent up until then. One more incident chipping away at my innocence as a hockey fan, I guess. (Carlos Gomez actually held up the contract Madden got out of the situation as a reason why Gomer should be justified in feeling slighted by the team. Because Gomer had more points than Madden, but Madden made more money. I was like, “Suck it, Gomezes.”)
Oh, Hullie. You make it so easy for us! :D
There really isn’t anything in the NHL that I can’t use to make a Hullie joke….
Carlos Gomez actually held up the contract Madden got out of the situation as a reason why Gomer should be justified in feeling slighted by the team.
For serious?! That’s ridiculous.
Because Gomer had more points than Madden, but Madden made more money. I was like, “Suck it, Gomezes.”)
But Madden’s awesomer! Who cares if Gomer had more points; Madden is so much cooler than Gomez.
But Madden’s awesomer! Who cares if Gomer had more points; Madden is so much cooler than Gomez.
Yeah, and hindsight makes this a much easier comparison! :D (To be fair to Gomer, he did manage to turn a washed-up Mogilny and Brian Effin’ Gionta into 40-goal scorers, though. Although he was skating behind the A Line during the Mogilny year, and was skating with a contract-year Elias the Gionta year, so I don’t know how much of that is entirely to his credit…)
There really isn’t anything in the NHL that I can’t use to make a Hullie joke…
Exactly! So what’s not to love about him? :P
I’m waffling between Zach being distraught and Zach having been the one to beg Lou not to qualify Jordy. :P
:^::::::::::: For some reason that is hysterically funny to me.
Good afternoon y’all! Having a good day so far?
Having a good day so far?
Not too bad. I got a program approved and now get to go out to lunch for free.
I’m just happy the Sabres qualified all their RFA’s. Now the games can begin.
Mags, I’m totally cracking myself up about the Jordy non-qualifying way out of proportion to the situation. I just love the thought of poor little spazzy Zach staring into the fire in his Regency mansion’s wood-paneled study, clutching a snifter of brandy, and muttering darkly to a genteelly sympathetic Boxworthy about how he sold his own brother out, but how it was for Jordy’s own good.
and now get to go out to lunch for free.
I dunno, Amy… You know what they say about free lunches… :P
I got a program approved and now get to go out to lunch for free.
Mmmmm, free food :D
I just love the thought of poor little spazzy Zach staring into the fire in his Regency mansion’s wood-paneled study, clutching a snifter of brandy, and muttering darkly to a genteelly sympathetic Boxworthy about how he sold his own brother out, but how it was for Jordy’s own good.
Awww Zach, don’t feel bad! You’re not a bad person, you had good intentions (besides, if you’re bad, then I’m bad, because I essentially begged my coach once to pleasepleaseplease not put my sister on the team with me because I couldn’t stand the thought of her being as good at sports as I am. Then again, I was 13, and very immature)
muttering darkly to a genteelly sympathetic Boxworthy about how he sold his own brother out, but how it was for Jordy’s own good.
Meanwhile Jordy’s out at the gaming hells completely unaware of the situation because his man-of-affairs (Staffy) is drunk in Whitechapel.
I couldn’t stand the thought of her being as good at sports as I am.
If that was Zach’s motivation, I hope Lou was like, “There’s nothing to worry about on that count, kid.” :P
Meanwhile Jordy’s out at the gaming hells completely unaware of the situation because his man-of-affairs (Staffy) is drunk in Whitechapel.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Meanwhile Jordy’s out at the gaming hells completely unaware of the situation because his man-of-affairs (Staffy) is drunk in Whitechapel.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::
“There’s nothing to worry about on that count, kid.”
I’m sure Zach is very, very aware of that, but he’s just neurotic enough to feel insecure anyway. :D
The best part about all of this is that I’m now convinced that Zach totally vindictively had Jordy booted off the team. I love how my brain works sometimes. This is why I should never be given media access to the Devils — I’d totally be like, “Zach, are you consumed with guilt after destroying your brother’s career?”
I’d totally be like, “Zach, are you consumed with guilt after destroying your brother’s career?”
And I can totally see Zach’s bewildered, sad eyes blinking back at you.
And I can totally see Zach’s bewildered, sad eyes blinking back at you.
Yup! His little fists would clench at his sides, his chin would start trembling, his collar would wilt from the humidity…
Awwww Marco. I miss the guy! He’s like a lunchpail player, but one who scores 20-25 goals a season. I still harbor ill will towards Adam Foote for slewfooting him into the boards, shattering his ankle years ago. Not that Adam Foote needs any help being disliked.
And no way, Jersey! You don’t get Marleau! He’s too expensive anyway.
And no way, Jersey! You don’t get Marleau! He’s too expensive anyway.
Well he wouldn’t have been too expensive if we’d gone with our alternate-universe plan! :P
And thanks for giving me another log to throw on my “I hate Adam Foote” fire. Like you said, though, it’s not like he needs any help to be disliked — the Avs sweater alone is enough.
Hello IPB! I’ve been lurking for a while, but too lazy to read through comments. I was wondering how IPB felt about Jordy. I suspected that he’s actually going to rehab for being a badass. How does PandoNation feel about the lag on locking him up in a timely matter? I can only hope that he’s laying low because he’s getting a bionic pelvic girdle and can’t be bothered with the media.
Well he wouldn’t have been too expensive if we’d gone with our alternate-universe plan! :P
Hmmm…good point. Fine, you can have him in alternate NHL world.
And I’m sorry to stray from the topic, but my keeper draft is going terrible! These guys are all like awful NHL GMs. A couple of guys started drafting goalies with their first pick, and everyone immediately freaked out and snatched up every goalie available! I had to watch everyone go nuts before I could even pick! So then what do you do? Play the game and try to salvage at least one decent goalie, or screw it and cherry pick some forwards/defensemen?
I decided had to get at least one decent goalie. So my 2nd round pick ended up going to Dan Ellis. Dan Ellis, people! He was the ONLY one left!
Okay, sorry. Just needed to rant for a second.
I can only hope that he’s laying low because he’s getting a bionic pelvic girdle and can’t be bothered with the media.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! I’m TOTALLY going to go with that theory! I love it! (I am becoming an increasingly nervous wreck about Pando. Honestly, this is killing me. KILLING ME. Lou, just sign him already!)
I liked Lou’s comment on TG’s blog that not qualifying Jordy doesn’t necessarily mean that he won’t stay with the organization. Jordy’s probably moping, “Yeah, because no one else would sign me.” Then he’d add, “I know why no one else would sign me. It’s because I’m not good enough for anyone else to sign me!” (Considering Lou’s track record with less-talented brothers, I think Jordy’s assured of a job for as long as Zach’s a Devil.)
Dude, andrew, that’s a NIGHTMARE! Although I think it sheds a lot of light on how the NHL GMs do business. I mean, they’re just as bad about falling into spazzy feeding frenzies, aren’t they?
WHAT?! You’re telling me Mike and Mark Pandolfo aren’t going to make it to the big boys’ team?!
I want to get my first sweater and join PandoNation, but I’m afraid of getting one before he’s signed. Can you believe that almost one year ago, the whole Souray fiasco was going on?
You’re telling me Mike and Mark Pandolfo aren’t going to make it to the big boys’ team?!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
And yeah, right now PandoNation’s borders are closed. In less than a week we will potentially be processing new citizenships… or we might be in a state of complete collapse. :P
Can you believe that almost one year ago, the whole Souray fiasco was going on?
HA! It’s amazing to think that just a year ago people thought Souray was worth signing!
I mean, they’re just as bad about falling into spazzy feeding frenzies, aren’t they?
Honestly! It’s like the real thing!
So here we are, 16 owners, and beacuse of the “snake” drafting, five of them took a combined TEN goalies with their first two picks:
Broduer and Turco
Nabokov and Bryz
Luongo and Leclaire
Lundqvuist and Giguere
Kipprusoff and Price
So two rounds deep and 4 owners have no goalie, and the other 7 have one each. Retards!!!
Okay, for real this time, I’m done. sorry!
Don’t stop complaining, andrew! If you need to unload (and lord knows I would. Sheesh. What a bunch of maroons!), we’re here for you. :D
If you need to unload (and lord knows I would. Sheesh. What a bunch of maroons!), we’re here for you.
Well thanks, Schnookie! I appreciate it.
And sorry for using the ‘R” word, Meg. It slipped, out of frustration!
So anyhoo, the goo news is that I got to get out of the heat for a day! Went down to L.A. for some work stuff yesterday, which is why I was MIA around here. I trust everyone had a nice day?
Sorry. Good news.
I don’t have any goo news.
Dammit! I was counting on you for goo news today. Now where am I going to get it?
That’s awesome that you got to head down into cooler climes. It’s been lovely around here lately, albeit quiet at IPB. I was touring the grounds of stately IPB Manor yesterday evening and discovered we have at least three pumpkins growing (like, the actual pumpkins themselves, not just the plants). And I had to harvest six raspberries. It’s a bumper year!
Genna, I suggested to Schnookie earlier that Jordy should just retire and get full time employement as the Head Posse Member of Zach’s posse.
andrew, that Keeper Draft sounds awful! I makes the fantasty hockey novices like me in the IPB Leagues look like geniuses! (So, in that respect, it kind of rocks.)
NO! Per our beat writer, Mike Heika:
My guess is Hagman, Antti Miettinen, Johan Holmqvist and Brad Winchester are gone.
I even love Swedish Clay Aiken (Holmqvist) who was stellar and nice to us at a practice one time. I love all those guys.
A bad day just got worse…
I wish Lou figured out Pando’s situation first instead of Sarge’s. Come on, we all know he’s not going anywhere come Free Agency day and if he did, well good for him.
Sorry andrew! I’m not much help with this topic, but I’ll hate the other people for you.
It’s a bumper year!
Don’t forget the four scallions you harvested, too! That’s four more scallions than I was expecting we’d get!
The big garden excitement (for me) is that a) we can stop watering the garlic meaning it’s almost time to harvest it and b) it’s time to choose and order which varieties we want to plant in the Fall. There are so many to choose from! I want to do six different kinds, I think. That sounds fun, doesn’t it?
That’s awesome that you got to head down into cooler climes.
It was nice. Although to be honest the weather hasn’t been all that bad up here, what with northern California being on fire and all. We’re sitting under a lovely ash covering that blocks the sun quite effectively. Y’know, cools things down.
Manor yesterday evening and discovered we have at least three pumpkins growing
Woo! That’s great! I’ve got two HUGE spaghetti squash growing. It’s a banner squash year!
It makes the fantasty hockey novices like me in the IPB Leagues look like geniuses!
I have a feeling they’re just stocking up on trade bait. (I hope)
Pookie, isn’t Head Posse Member designated to Boxworthy whether he wants it or not?
Sorry andrew! I’m not much help with this topic, but I’ll hate the other people for you.
Word! Thanks for helping spread the hate, Genna!
Oh, good point, Genna! “Posse Member” is very low on the list of job duties that Boxwothy enjoys, but he has no choice.
Caitlin, I saw that Heika’d written that, and thought sadly of you. I’m so sorry! Maybe he’s wrong?
andrew, I think a nice ashy cloud cover sounds heavenly! :P That’s awesome about the spaghetti squash, though. Everything’s coming up squashes!
I suggested to Schnookie earlier that Jordy should just retire and get full time employement as the Head Posse Member of Zach’s posse.
I thought Jordy would be the head of Staffy’s posse. Think of the future of Invisible Children.
And I’m sad that the Flames put Rhett Warrener on waivers. I liked him when he was with the Sabres.
Ookies, it hasn’t been stormy for you these past few days/most of the summer? This weather is killing my sinuses. Maybe I need to move to central or south Jersey.
Caitlin, I saw that Heika’d written that, and thought sadly of you. I’m so sorry! Maybe he’s wrong?
Sadly, Sweater Vest is usually spot on. He’s a great, thorough writer. I just wasn’t expecting to lose both of our Finnjas who were UFAs.
Think of the future of Invisible Children.
Right, Amy! When Jordy has more time for Invisible Children, we’re ALL winners. :D
Genna, it’s been mild and not even that humid the last few days. We had a bit of evening thunderstorm on Sunday after we got back from Ottawa, but it’s actually been hard to get the AC to come on inside the house the last few days because of how cool it is outside. Although today is looking pretty humid and overcast, if not oppressively hot.
Ok, not even the sadness of possibly losing four favorite players can dampen my mood today! You know why?!? I can’t say anything specific yet, but let me just say I am pommerdoodling about the fact that I will be getting an Ott jersey this season. Ifyouknowwhatimean!
Lucky, it’s been humid and stormy-ish here. We’ve had some clear days, but they were still humid (which comes with NJ summers) and my sinuses could feel rain approaching.
I keep on refreshing Gulitti’s blog hoping he’ll post something, but nada. The offseason sucks, but I did watch the Philly game with the infamous Hatcher biting last night and that was surely entertaining.
I am pommerdoodling about the fact that I will be getting an Ott jersey this season. Ifyouknowwhatimean!
Does this mean you guys are staying?!?!
And no way, Jersey! You don’t get Marleau! He’s too expensive anyway.
I want Marleau! I’ll take him any day over Mr. “I’m just in it for the money and think I’m worth more than than the more attractive Vinny” Hossa. Then I can have a nice quiet captain like I’m used too. Those actual loud agressive captains scare me :P
And how bout we take Mittens and crazy eyes Hagman off your hands? We’ll take good care of them, Dallas. I’d prefer them over Demitra. *Shudder*
Does this mean you guys are staying?!?!
I can’t answer specifically (promised Hubbie) but I can say I am seriously pommerdoodling over the news Hubbie delivered last night. No one in Michigan knows what “pommerdoodling” means, right?
And how bout we take Mittens and crazy eyes Hagman off your hands? We’ll take good care of them, Dallas. I’d prefer them over Demitra. *Shudder*
alix, I have a feeling Mittens and Hagman would fare well in Vancouver, even if y’all are keeping Crazy Ass AV around. I’d rather see them go as a pair to a good home than be forced off somewhere sucky. I have visions of “Miettinen to Florida” or something irrational like that dancing in my head. I could root for Mittens in a Canucks jersey.
Lord, it sounds like I’m adopting kittens out or something. I just want them to be well taken care of. Those guys worked really hard while they were here and they deserve nothing but awesomeness.
No one in Michigan knows what “pommerdoodling” means, right?
Right.
I’ll e-mail ya, Myra! :D Yay for an Otter jersey!
I refuse to think about Crazy Eyes going anywhere, yet. :(
Well, whatever your news might be, because we could never guess, I’ll pommerdoodle with you!
Woo hoo!
And pleeeeease don’t let Hagman go! Please!
POMMERDOODLING, POMMERDOODLING, POMMERDOODLING!!!!!!!!!!!!
alix, I have a feeling Mittens and Hagman would fare well in Vancouver, even if y’all are keeping Crazy Ass AV around.
Hee. AV was like 10 feet away from me at the draft. He was all smiley and stuff, and I was like, “Huh sorry I just scoffed out loud about seeing your name on the Jack Adams out on the concourse, buddy.” AV might be on a tighter and less crazy leash this season with Ryan Walter and his masters of leadership breathing down his neck. :D
Sadly, Sweater Vest is usually spot on. He’s a great, thorough writer. I just wasn’t expecting to lose both of our Finnjas who were UFAs.
*SOB* NOT MY FINNJA’s AND MY F5!!
Kid is pestering to go now. I promised her we would go get her Guitar Hero for her Nintendo DS Lite, if that which cannot be discussed yet, happened.
Myra, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I’m not sayin’ anything for reals or anything, just like you aren’t, but WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I’m so happy you got good news!
I’m pommerdoodling over your not actual news Myra! YAY!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I’m really going now.
I’m THRILLED that the Kid is getting Guitar Hero! IfyouknowwhatImean!
I’m THRILLED that the Kid is getting Guitar Hero! IfyouknowwhatImean!
That is such an awesome thing to Pommerdoodle about!
*SOB* NOT MY FINNJA’s AND MY F5!!
It’s been a bad day for us both. :(
Myra, POMMERDOODLING!!!!!, for, uh, no good reason. *whistles and saunters away with hands in pockets*
Whooo! Guitar Hero is DEFINITELY something to Pommerdoodle about!
You know, my parents were talking about buying me a grad gift and I’m still trying to think of ways to convince them that buying guitar hero is in fact, an excellent idea.
And hi everybody! :D
Sherry, just tell them it stimulates your brain by forcing you to use hand eye coordination and it works your dexterity by pushing the colored tabs. They want you to stay mentally sharp don’t they?
They want you to stay mentally sharp don’t they?
Good point! They would however argue that I could stay mentally sharp by studying for my LSATs. And then get up on me about why I don’t just play my real guitar instead. It’s just not the same thing! They just don’t understand! *runs up to her room and slams the door*
What’s a real guitar when you could play a fake one in front of a fake crowd? Memorizing the keys to the songs is just preparing your mind to memorize LSAT information to full capacity. Haha, or you could just use my tactic and keep on nagging until they cave in just to shut you up.
They would however argue that I could stay mentally sharp by studying for my LSATs.
Ewwww, LSATs?! The DEVIL is what those things are. No good can come of them (aside from making a decent enough score for law school. Still. Eww.)
Ewwww, LSATs?! The DEVIL is what those things are. No good can come of them (aside from making a decent enough score for law school. Still. Eww.)
Oh, tell me about it. I’ve written it once already but I feel like I should take it again since my first score was completely and utterly mediocre. I’m not expecting to do much better (if at all) because my brain just cannot get around those logic games.
And sorry for using the ‘R” word, Meg. It slipped, out of frustration!
I would never have noticed if you hadn’t apologized, Andrew. That’s what you get for being all classy and shit. :D
I’m onto you when it comes to these fantasy games though . . . you piss and moan about how bad your team is and then you win EVERY TIME. I’m very suspicious of the actual future crapitude of your team.
And Myra, I think that today is clearly a good day to celebrate for no reason whatsoever. Whooooo!!!!
I’m onto you when it comes to these fantasy games though . . . you piss and moan about how bad your team is and then you win EVERY TIME. I’m very suspicious of the actual future crapitude of your team.
I was thinking the same thing, but decided to keep my thoughts to myself if I wanted andrew to commish our leagues again this coming season. I was hoping to negotiate our hookers-and-blow rate down a bit this time around, and thought killing him with kindness might be a good tactic. Thanks a lot for ruining that, Meg.
Eek, sorry Schnookie.
Andrew, I’m so so sorry that you have to deal with such idiots on your keeper league fantasy team. That is really rough.
That’s better, Meg. (And we’re taking the hookers and blow out of your allowance next year…)
I’m onto you when it comes to these fantasy games though . . . you piss and moan about how bad your team is and then you win EVERY TIME. I’m very suspicious of the actual future crapitude of your team.
Now watch, because we’ve called andrew on his craptitude bitching, his team will actually suck like a vacuum cleaner this year.
You know what, Amy? If that happens, I’m not so sure I’ll feel bad about it. :P
First of all, go Myra! Woo! I’m glad to hear that nothing of importance is currently happening in your life!
That’s what you get for being all classy and shit. :D
Secondly, wait a minute…did Meg just call me classy? Huh…I guess there’s a first time for everything.
And c’mon guys! I didn’t bitch about my teams last season! Did I? I think I bitched that everyone was too emotionally attached to their players to trade them, but that was about it. Am I looking back on last year with Dual Championship Tinted Glasses? Perhaps.
Now watch, because we’ve called andrew on his craptitude bitching, his team will actually suck like a vacuum cleaner this year.
Haha, thanks Amy. But bitching or no, I will always win! MUWHAHAHAAHAHAHA!
p.s. Oh, Schnookie….another thing, I’m gonna need an advance on my salary for next season. I’m a little short on cash flow and I got this action going on uptown y’see….
I’m gonna need an advance on my salary for next season. I’m a little short on cash flow and I got this action going on uptown y’see….
Crap! We totally blew our budget on the Potted Plant Cotillion; IPB’s in the red right now! Do you suppose you could spot me some money so I can pay you? That’s an appropriately NHL-owner-style loan…
And we’re back pommerdoodling again! Kid has now totally punked out her pale pink DS Lite with Guitar Hero stickers, which I find very amusing, for some reason. I’m so excited that Pat Benatar is on it. I so wanted to be her when I was 18. Scary huh!
(And we’re taking the hookers and blow out of your allowance next year…)
Ok, obviously, Hub and I are going to have to do some research before we attempt to enter the IPB league. I have absolutely no clue what the above sentence means. :P
And thanks to everyone for not celebrating with us!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, obviously, Hub and I are going to have to do some research before we attempt to enter the IPB league. I have absolutely no clue what the above sentence means. :P
It’s a rowdy league. The commissioner is awesome though.
Do you suppose you could spot me some money so I can pay you?
Sure! Lemme just get my walle….heeeyyy, you tried to trick me!
Ok, obviously, Hub and I are going to have to do some research before we attempt to enter the IPB league. I have absolutely no clue what the above sentence means. :P
Hookers and blow are how the IPB leagues pay Andrew for being our awesome commissioner and taking care of all the technical fiddle faddle involved with setting up the leagues.
It’s a rowdy league. The commissioner is awesome though.
Really? :p
I’m so excited that Pat Benatar is on it. I so wanted to be her when I was 18. Scary huh!
Who didn’t want to be Pat Benatar (well, I wanted to be Debbie Harry, but that’s beside the point). :D
If you guys have a PS2 or something along those lines, y’all should think about SingStar ’80′s. LOTS of good stuff on there. :D
Oh, that kind of hookers and blow. I’m a little slow on the uptake sometimes. :)
Hookers and blow are how the IPB leagues pay Andrew for being our awesome commissioner and taking care of all the technical fiddle faddle involved with setting up the leagues.
Yeah, and as a bonus perk I get to abuse my power, cheating to ensure victory!
Yeah, and as a bonus perk I get to abuse my power, cheating to ensure victory!
Hey, he just admitted it! Surely there must be some type of sanction against him! Although in true sports league fashion, I reckon we’re a little lax in our discipline :P
Speaking of hookers and blow, somebody just found my blog searching for “pic of Spezza doing coke”. Awesome. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about coke on my blog that wasn’t the soda.
Although in true sports league fashion, I reckon we’re a little lax in our discipline :P
Damn IPB and their overly lax substance abuse/commissioner abuse policies.
Hey, he just admitted it! Surely there must be some type of sanction against him! Although in true sports league fashion, I reckon we’re a little lax in our discipline
Exactly! In response to that admission of cheating, IPB is proud to announce that we’ve extended andrew’s contract. He’s now commissioner for life, and we’re doubling his hookers and blow.
Sherry, have you tried googling pictures of Spezza doing coke? How many hits deep is SI? I’m always amazed at the things that will find us, and more than that, I’m amazed at the things that find us, but which I can’t re-create when I use the search terms.
In response to that admission of cheating, IPB is proud to announce that we’ve extended andrew’s contract. He’s now commissioner for life, and we’re doubling his hookers and blow.
SUCK ON THAT BETTMAN!!!!!
Sherry, have you tried googling pictures of Spezza doing coke? How many hits deep is SI?
I did just now and we’re the last link on the first page. Actually, my favourite google search today was “intellectual conversations to win back my man” because we’re the first link returned! Whoever it was must have been disappointed when this is what their search yielded. Hopefully we were able to help just a little bit :P
Hmm . . . maybe if her man is a huge hockey fan . . .
Hopefully we were able to help just a little bit :P
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to the entire conversation about the IPB Leagues.
Guys, I need hockey to start — I just planned my evening around watching “Jeopardy!”
Guys, I need hockey to start — I just planned my evening around watching “Jeopardy!”
Ouch. Sorry dude. I can’t offer you much help, I’ve just been plowing through as many movies as I can. I wouldn’t suggest it. I watched a giant-killer-crocodile-movie starring Orlando Jones and Jurgen Prochnow last night. It’s not easy, geeking out this hard.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to the entire conversation about the IPB Leagues.
It was a good one! Pookie, your comment led me to re-read it, upon which I did a double take at this one, from Myra:
Oh, that kind of hookers and blow.
I have to ask, Myra, what other kind of hookers and blow is there? I must know!
I have to ask, Myra, what other kind of hookers and blow is there? I must know!
Oh, you’ll find out when next season starts and your first “paycheck” comes in. :P (Seriously, yeah — Myra, what did you think we were talking about?)
And I love that you and Caitlin are such bad-movie enthusiasts, andrew. The stuff you guys talk about just cracks me up.
Oh, that kind of hookers and blow.
I have to ask, Myra, what other kind of hookers and blow is there? I must know!
Oh, I was all excited because I thought it was some hockeyish terms I hadn’t learned yet. Like I said I’m a little slow sometimes. I must say I was rather disappointed when I realized it was just what it said: Hookers and blow. Bummer. :P
And yes, I am that geeky.
And I love that you and Caitlin are such bad-movie enthusiasts, andrew. The stuff you guys talk about just cracks me up.
Hee! Yeah, I’ve seen some really bad stuff. I promise I watch some good stuff, too. :D
I need hockey to start — I just planned my evening around watching “Jeopardy!”
I’m watching “General Hospital.” At least you’re watching something semi-intellectually stimulating.
I must say I was rather disappointed when I realized it was just what it said: Hookers and blow.
Oh come now! Who’s disappointed by hookers and blow? :P
Amy, you and your General Hospital! You’re as bad as Caitlin and andrew! :PPPP
Myra, Pookie just said, in re your “hookers and blow” issues, “Well we won’t be making YOU commissioner!”
I was all excited because I thought it was some hockeyish terms I hadn’t learned yet.
Hee. Hookers and blow is definitely a 10-minute-misconduct, right?
HA! I seriously HOPE it’s a 10-minute misconduct.
Myra, Pookie just said, in re your “hookers and blow” issues, “Well we won’t be making YOU commissioner!”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I’m stunned. How could you not?
Oh come now! Who’s disappointed by hookers and blow? :P
(Um. You do know I’m female, right?)
Now how am I supposed to explain all this to the Kid?
We are becoming obsessed with the New Password. Sigh. When does hockey session start again?…..
Oh, and did I mention? I’m getting an Ott jersey! Just in case you forgot! I’m getting an Ott jersey!
Pommerdoodling, Pommerdoodling, Pommerdoodling.
Omg, have any of you heard of the soap opera “MVP: He shoots, She Scores”? I saw it listed on the SOAP network and it’s apparently about hockey players.
Genna, you should check out the lastest post on Untypical Girls. It says it all!
http://untypicalgirls.wordpress.com/
Haha, thanks for the link Myra! Congrats on your Ott jersey!
Genna, there is more to the story behind the Ott jersey, but I am not at liberty to reveal the details as yet. IPB can be a very mysterious place sometimes…
Dude, Myra, none of us keep secrets like this! :P
I’m so excited for your Ott sweater! I’m beginning to wonder if my vow at the start of this past season about a Zajac sweater has cursed TWO Devils. I said to Pookie, “Someday, when it’s time to get a new one, I’m going to get a Travis sweater.” The one I wear now is a Pando one. Did I destroy both of them with that vow? I feel so terrible!
Oh, and you guys? We just drew the BEST PBS card. THE BEST. We have really, really, really big plans for it, though, so it won’t be unveiled until Monday at the earliest… :P (Speaking of keeping secrets…)
I’ll also point out, if I’m making no sense, that I’ve had about two thirds of a bottle of wine tonight.
We just drew the BEST PBS card. THE BEST. We have really, really, really big plans for it, though, so it won’t be unveiled until Monday at the earliest…
WHAT! MORE SUSPENSE! I’m not sure I can handle more suspense! Hee!
I’m watching “General Hospital.” At least you’re watching something semi-intellectually stimulating.
Amy, tonight I started referring to Jeopardy as “my stories” so I could be more like you and your General Hospital!