This is the 18th in our summer series in which we are drawing hockey cards at random from a box and writing about them.
Gentle Reader, we made a shocking discovery yesterday. If you Google “Travis Zajac” the first image that pops up before the web results is our Hopeful Forecast For Travis Zajac’s Sophomore Season (yeah, that turned out well). This led us to digging deeper to see what other little Travis gems we might drum up. The result was this hilarious story. Jeecsy , an autograph hound, mailed a card to Travis’s family’s home, asking for an autograph. The letter that came in return, which we can only hope was written by Travis’s mother (surely Lou weeds out the ones with girlie handwriting before even considering drafting them — unless he specifically seeks out the ones with girlie handwriting so he can better spread rumors at the draft that they’re transgendered… But we digress), apologized, “Don’t know what happened to your Sharpie”. The hound bemusedly pointed out that he didn’t send a Sharpie. This led us to some speculating. Does Travis send a Sharpie with everything he mails? Phone bills, mortgage payments, birthday cards, each with a single Sharpie carefully tucked in the envelope, thus leading him to assume that everyone else also does the same? Did some embarrassing fate befall the Sharpie some other hound sent (the family dog eating it, perhaps?) so that Mama Travis was overcompensating, protesting too much that she knows not what happened to it? Is there some other “through the mail” autograph hound out there irrationally hating Travis for evermore because he believes Travis did steal the Sharpie he sent without offering an apology? The possibilities are endless!
So it was with a chuckle that we drew this card this evening:
It may not convey entirely in this scan, but this card features a sporty and sparkly engraved autograph. We can only hope that Sami Salo responds to every autograph request with, “Don’t know what happened to your Sharpie — I only sign in laser glitter pen.”