This is the 36th in our summer series in which we are pulling hockey cards at random from a box and then writing about them.
SNORE! What a boring checklist! Here’s a list of things we’d much rather be getting out of the PBS Dispenser than that collection of humdrum crap:
1. A card that features photographic evidence of which Devils can swim.
2. A card honoring us, commemorating all the good we’ve done as bloggers for the NHL.
3. A card featuring the figurative “ball of tape” that so many fans claim would be better than their team’s most egregiously underachieving player; this card could have a cool collectible snippet of tape embedded in it if the card makers wanted to be really awesome.
4. A John MacLean Assistant Coach card. So we can run it over and set it on fire and stuff like that.
5. Cards for our summer heroes, MacGyver and Jessica Fletcher.
6. A chocolate chip cookie. Wouldn’t that be nice?
7. A dozen chocolate chip cookies. Wouldn’t that be nicer?
8. A time machine that will take us to the start of the season.
9. A Boxworthy card.
10. A card that comes with a blog post attached to it.