Today was an exciting day at stately IPB Manor, because we finally got something in our email inbox other than dustbunnies and tumbleweeds. “Ooh! Ooh!” we thought, “Mail! Hot diggity!” So imagine the crushing despression we felt when we opened the message and found ourselves face to face with an old enemy. Yes, Sherlock Holmes had his Moriarty, Superman had his Lex Luthor, MacGyver had his Murdoc, and we have our Versus. What evil tricks is our old nemesis up to now? You guessed it, Gentle Reader — the diabolical scheme Versus used to reel us into its web of shame and deceit is back in play.
The email started all friendly, as if we might not recognize the hallmark of our greatest adversary, the subject header with the name “VERSUS” in all-caps. There was a bit of chit-chat: “How are you?” Then came the introduction of Versus’s latest nom de guerre, as it likes to masquerade as a perky, friendly PR rep. Then came the banal details of American hockey television broadcasting that every fan already knows, a trick to lull us into a bored stupor. Then came the honey trap:
Do you think that you can help us spread the word about the games by:
Doing a write up about the coverage on VERSUS this season
In return, we have some VERSUS merchandise to share with you.
AHA! Not so fast, Versus! We’ve fallen for this ploy before, and we still bear the scars. But this time around, instead of just refusing to engage, we have our own
Machiavellian scheme proposal for you — how about you spread the word about IPB, by doing a write-up or video segment on VERSUS about the coverage on IPB this season? In return, we have some IPB merchandise to share with you. We promise. We’ll totally send you something rad. You won’t regret it.
IN OTHER NEWS, we feel we should go on the record here as saying that Marty’s new mask is a complete pile of puke and we hate it. In case there was any doubt. The story seems to be that Marty’s brother designed it so he feels like he should wear it. Listen, Marty, we’ve got siblings, too, and if one of them designed a logo for IPB do you think we’d use it? No! We’d tell them it was very nice and that we’re putting the logo in a safe place where it won’t get lost. And maybe we’d add that it’s too special to share with the rest of the world, because no one else would cherish it as much as we do. And then maybe we’d add that it’s kind of ugly, but that we still love them. They’d be happy enough with that, end of story!
AND IN FURTHER NEWS, we are going to be attending the home opener on Friday with Frisby, and would love to do a better job of meeting up with other bloggers and Gentle Readers than we did at the only game we attended in Newark last season. (Although, to be fair, we weren’t the ones with the overzealous bouncers, 2 Man Advantage.) If you’re going to be at the game, let us know — there are plans in the works to make the greatest congregation of kick-ass Devils fans the world has ever seen! You won’t want to miss it!