Ahhh, Philadelphia. It’s the City of Crazy-Assed Shit, as well as Brotherly Love. What did we think of today’s game? We liked it for a few reasons:
1. Gionta scored, thereby driving up his rental-player trade value. If he can keep this up, we’re sure some stupid team somewhere will give us three first-rounders and a few choice prospects for six weeks of having him going offsides and helping them lose in the first round.
2. Zach scored, thereby keeping our hopes alive for a 7,000-point season.
3. It allowed us to put together this artistic interpretation of the game:
We didn’t like this game for a few reasons, too:
1. The offense sucked.
2. The defense sucked.
3. The special teams sucked.
And the thing we saw in this game that we’ve never seen before, but should have expected from Flyers fans:
1. The smoke/stink bomb. It’s actually pretty surprising that, after 14 years of watching Atlantic Division hockey, this is the first time we’ve seen that.
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NHL.com says it best: “Stock the fridge. Keep the beverages handy. And find a soft chair. You’re not going to want to miss a minute of the action. And there will be lots and lots of action.” It’s a hockey holiday today, and we’re all ready for it! Fridge? Stocked! Beverages? Handy! Chair? Soft! Ready for action? You bet! Let’s watch some hockey!
So, it’s 1:45 in the afternoon. Pookie’s at work and Schnookie’s sitting in front of the TV with her laptop, ready for SUPER SATURDAY! But… there’s no hockey on. Because the NHL is stupid and scheduled ALL THE GAMES AT THE SAME TIME. Well. That’s a clever way to make it so fans can spend all day deeply immersed in a bacchanal of hockey, to be followed up by a day with zero games scheduled. Thanks, Schedulers. This is the bestest day of hockey ever. Really, because when you’re arranging a gimmick like having all 30 teams playing on the same day, what better way to do it than have them all playing in the evening (five 7:00 starts, one 7:30, three 8:00, two 8:30, one 9:00 and two 10:00), so fans who want to watch their own team’s game can’t watch any of the other games scheduled because they’re in conflict with their primary game. And to think — the only reason there’s an afternoon game today at all is because the World Series made it so the Devils and Flyers had to start earlier than the originally-planned 7:00 faceoff. We love that we’re fans of the most doofusy league in pro sports.
We’ll join the ranks, then, and open up a comment thread for this. How are you enjoying this
massive day evening of awesome hockey, Gentle Reader? And how are you going to enjoy tomorrow’s worst day for hockey fans when there are no games scheduled?” Stupid Sunday, as it were. We figure we’ll spend Stupid Sunday a lot like how we’re spending Super Saturday so far — by not watching hockey.
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