March is a month of nastiness. It brings us weather that doesn’t warm up fast enough, late-season snowstorms when all we want are flowers, and worst of all, March hockey swoons. There is however one thing to look forward to every March — The Name of the Year bracket. It’s like the March Madness of Silliness, the antidote to slumping hockey teams and dreary gray skies. The bracketologists at NOTY spend the year collecting and researching fabulous real names, rank them carefully in four regions, and then pit them against one another until the best name is chosen and crowned the Name of the Year. Past winners include:Doby Chrotchtangle, Assumption Bulltron, Godfrey Sithole, Tokyo Sexwale, Tanqueray Beavers, Jerome Fruithandler, and Vanilla Dong. We were already toying with writing a post about this just because it makes us laugh every year, but then something amazing happened. While casting votes in the Dragonwagaon Regional we discovered that one of the names in the running is none other than Pierre Champoux! That’s right, the NHL has someone in the running for NOTY! And then, when perusing the Bulltron Regional we stumbled upon Parris Duffus, a former NCAA-standout goalie who played one game for the Coyotes! Hockey is everywhere!
We’d be urging you all to stuff the ballot box for these hockey emissaries, but even we have to admit that there is no chance either hockeyist is advancing out of the first round. Duffus is up against Glorious Johnson, Muffin Lord, and Zeppy O’Green. Champoux’s competition is even tougher thanks to Rev. Valentine Handwerker, Willy Wham, and Velvet Milkman. Velvet Milkman. This might just be the strongest NOTY field we’ve seen. (We’re putting our money on Shasta Kielbasa to win it all, by the way. Hung The Dang will most likely win, but we’re all about the meatstuff-inspired underdogs here at stately IPB Manor.) So if you’re feeling the March Doldrums, head on over to NOTY and cast your votes for Pierre Champoux and Parris Duffus (we wouldn’t blame you for voting for Valentine Handwerker and Zeppy O’Green instead). Maybe 2010′s bracket will see Cal Clutterbuck in the running.
Thanks for reminding me about NOTY! I had forgotten all about it.
In high school, I knew a guy named, “Excel Lafayette.” It’s still my favorite name.
You need to submit that to them! Excel Lafayette is a FANTASTIC name!
Well, that was a long time ago. There is no telling what he’s doing now. Hm. Maybe I should google him!
Velvet Milkman! Wow.
If Martle is right, the Canucks have clinched a playoff spot. WOOOOOOOOOO!! This season kicks last season’s ass!
: D That’s supposed to be me eating a pot brownie to celebrate.
Darn! The brownie didn’t show up!
:D {*****}
Excel Lafayette?!? That ROCKS! I submitted “Shlomo Hamburger” but I can’t prove that he exists beyond just that I met him and saw his ID.
alix, woooooooooooooooooooo for your team clinching! Pot brownies for everyone!
Pierre Champioux would be a shoe-in if not for Velvet Milkman. I mean, that’s like pros vs. amateurs. If your name is so awesome that it, by rights, should have a “The” before it…you should be disqualified from NOTY competitions for being TOO awesome.
you should be disqualified from NOTY competitions for being TOO awesome.
So true! So true. I think if not for Velvet Milkman, the Rev. Valentin Handwerker would beat Pierre Champoux.
By shoe-in, I meant, shoe-in to advance beyond the first round. The Reverend Valentin Handwerker is a beast.
My sleeper picks include Zeppy O’Green, Kermit E. Trout Jr., Dr. Shasta Kielbasa and Crystal Metheny.
I think I’m going to root for Crystal Metheny.
Shasta Kielbasa all the way!
I can’t endorse anyone other than Shasta Kielbasa! That’s the BEST NAME EVER!
Poopy poop. We spent all day with nothing but CRAP on TV, and now that it’s Tranny v. Tranny in glorious HD, thunderstorms roll in and we lose our satellite signal. My life sucks.
And to make matters worse, our picture has frozen with Daniel Carcillo on the screen. What, it couldn’t freeze on Beaker? Or Farts? Come ON!
Holy Swede on a meatball. If this is the way the Canucks/Hawks first round is going to go, I don’t think I’m going to survive it.
What’s going on in it, alix?
Well, Shot Kleen could play many sports. Hockey, Basketball, Track & Field, Golf…that’s a name with many possibilities.
Carcillo? What did you do to anger the hockey (or satellite) gods?
(Of course, our satellite has come back to let us watch the Gentleman Callers slapping the Brides around. Look, G. Callers. I don’t like you as much as the Brides. QUIT IT. :P)
It might be better for NJ for the GCs to slap the Brides around, though.
Yeah, I’ve kind of refused to pay attention to the standings this year. I know that whatever happens, we’re going to be playing the Rangers. That’s just how this season has gone.
I know. However, I’m not thrilled with a ‘Canes or Ice Chickens matchup, either. I actually think they might do OK against the Ice Chickens but that would require (a) staying out of the penalty box and (b) actually trying to score.
How have I never heard of the Name of the Year bracket before? This thing is amazing.
The best name I’ve ever heard was the racecar driver named Racin Gardiner. Close behind is racer Will Power.
I know that whatever happens, we’re going to be playing the Rangers.
Positive thinking, Schnookie. Positive thinking. You could always end up with a nice first round series against the Hurricanes/Panthers/Habs.
Racin Gardiner? Sweet! Will Power also incredible. It’s one of those names that’s funnier the more you think about it!
but that would require (a) staying out of the penalty box and (b) actually trying to score.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah.
Positive thinking, Schnookie. Positive thinking. You could always end up with a nice first round series against the Hurricanes/Panthers/Habs.
Even if we’re in 7th and the Rangers are in 8th, we’ll still get them in the first round. We have a Date With Destiny. I just know it. :P
“We have a Date With Destiny.”
Actually, Henrik Lundqvist and Sean Avery have requested a first round match-up with Marty, because they’ve missed him so much.
What’s going on in it, alix?
Oh the Canucks are winning. And it’s super fun. But yeah, end to end action, goalies making crazy bendy saves. Penalties. Intense defensive plays. Basically heart attack city.
I know I always gotta bring the gutter to any conversation here, but I had a class with a guy name Richard Wood. When the prof took attendance on the first day, he asked to be called Reeve, cause he “likes to stay away from that whole ‘Dick Wood’ thing.” It made me hate my name less :)
Those kinds of games drive me batty, alix! The old “Can you imagine a series like this? It would be AWESOME!” kind of game, where normal people are like, “WOO HOO!” and I’m like, “I’d much prefer a series that I know my team can win without breaking a sweat, thanks.” I’m such a wimp. Heh.
It made me hate my name less :)
Hee hee! Yeah, “Dick Wood” puts things into perspective, doesn’t it? As would “Vanilla Dong”. :P
I wouldn’t vote for Long Wang purely because I’m sure he uses his name to his benefit. In fact, I’m sure he’s the only guy Tim Connolly is actually jealous of.
“I’d much prefer a series that I know my team can win without breaking a sweat, thanks.” I’m such a wimp.
I actually prefer the series that I think my team could possibly win but they’d rather be out snorting coke of strippers’ asses than playing hockey. Those are awesome with extra blossom.
In fact, I’m sure he’s the only guy Tim Connolly is actually jealous of.
I bet that’s the name Timmy uses when he checks into hotels.
And I have to say of this game, I don’t care now what happens. Beaker was totally flirting with me during that period. He was all, “I don’t speak french, but I can make your ovaries explode just as much as Vinny can.” He’s dreamy. And I’m in way over my head with the Trannies.
I bet that’s the name Timmy uses when he checks into hotels.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Royzie totally snickers every time the desk guy says it too.
I love when the Trannies wear these uniforms. They remind me of a jersey you’d give the football team at a correctional facility.
Royzie totally snickers every time the desk guy says it too.
Yup. He’s like, “That’s the most sophisticated joke I’ve ever heard. Every time I hear it. You’re so funny, Long Wang.” And Timmy’s like, “That’s Mister Long Wang to you.”
They remind me of a jersey you’d give the football team at a correctional facility.
The sherbert orange ones? I love them. Honestly. In this day and age of bland, same-toned, all-black, boring boring boring third jerseys, I love that the Flyers are so happy to just own that they’re orange. (This is proof that I have some kind of brain worm this year. I have always deeply hated Flyers orange, on an elemental level. And this season I’m like, “Aww! That’s the orange Beaks and Farts wear. It’s so cute.”)
the old “Can you imagine a series like this? It would be AWESOME!” kind of game, where normal people are like, “WOO HOO!” and I’m like, “I’d much prefer a series that I know my team can win without breaking a sweat, thanks.”
Yeah, I mean it’s FUN! But 7 games of it?!? Oh god. I think I’d have to go to rehab.
And Timmy’s like, “That’s Mister Long Wang to you.”
No, Mister Long Wang is my father! Please, call me Vanilla Dong.
DEAR FLIPPIN SWEDE! Why aren’t the Sedins re signed yet? That was fuckin gorgeous. My mouth is still open.
No, Mister Long Wang is my father! Please, call me Vanilla Dong.
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Why aren’t the Sedins re signed yet?
Because they want top dollar? Each? :P
This is proof that I have some kind of brain worm this year.
There are MUCH worse teams to get worms from.
No, Mister Long Wang is my father! Please, call me Vanilla Dong.
:^::::::::::::::: And meet my girlfriend, Chastity Clapp (who’s last name might explain her first…)
LINE BRAWL!
Bufflin is lucky to still have his head.
There are MUCH worse teams to get worms from.
HAHAHAHAHA! Well, prior to last year’s first round of the playoffs, I could only think of one. And dude, I am NEVER getting worms from the Rangers. Never ever ever. :P
And meet my girlfriend, Chastity Clapp (who’s last name might explain her first…)
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Dear goooooood. I’ve never been so turned on by Bieksa.
HAHAHAHA! Sundin just came in to defend Danny Sedin’s honour!
This game is ammmmmazing.
And dude, I am NEVER getting worms from the Rangers. Never ever ever. :P
Hahahaha, that’s actually EXACTLY the team I was thinking of!
Oh oh oh! I have a random story that no one at work would actually get, so it’s been stewing for awhile. We have this raspberry and cherry flavoring that’s blue and red (respectively). Well last night, I was making a drink that required both and the stupid caps were stuck so I ended up squirting both on my pasty white arm. So someone looked at me and asked if I was bleeding blue and red. And I kept thinking, man the Habs have totally got me, cause now I’m bleeding blanc, bleu et rouge! (I was concidering my pigment-less arm the “blanc” part)
And that’s my story.
Oh my god this is awesome. I know Alix is watching the Canucks game. There’s someone with a ripped shirt! And Duncan Keith almost lost all of his hair.
And I kept thinking, man the Habs have totally got me, cause now I’m bleeding blanc, bleu et rouge!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I think it’s safe to say that I will never be pigmenting myself orange. My worms aren’t THAT bad. :P
And I kept thinking, man the Habs have totally got me, cause now I’m bleeding blanc, bleu et rouge!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I don’t think I’m in that deep with the Tranny Brides. I think my dedication ends with eating Tastykakes so it never gets as far as bleeding team colors.
I think my dedication ends with eating Tastykakes so it never gets as far as bleeding team colors.
Well, that was an AWFUL lot of Tastykakes…
KG, I don’t think I’ve ever loved a game so much. What a SHIT SHOW!
Hmmm, being a Flyers fan gives you worms which make you eat Tastykakes.
Being a Habs fan ruins your circulatory system which changes your blood color.
Being a Rangers fan melts your brain which makes you a drooling moron.
Being a Sabres fan crushes your soul which makes you a zombie. (So Staffy can eat your brain.)
The NHL is a science.
“What a SHIT SHOW!”
Somehow I got like ten minutes behind but this game is hilarious. I was just about to change the channel before the fights broke out because it was getting a little boring. But I love how the Canucks just kept getting 2 man advantages.
alix, don’t let your game know how into it you are, cause then it starts being a dick. Play hard to get!
KG, yeah. The Hawks should really learn not to goon our best players. It always ends badly. :)
Fuck. I love hockey.
mcguffers, good call. Hmmmmm….oh you’re not thattttttt great, game.
If the Hawks play the Canucks in the playoffs it’s going to be an awesome series. It’s going to be a bloodbath.
Yeah Trannies!!!
EEEEEE! I can’t WAIT for the first round!
I luff hockey! This is my most favourite team ever!
Bummer, Trannies. But Beaker was a stone fox tonight. That makes me happy. That’s the value of Tranny teams — all that matters when they lose is whether the foxy guys were foxy. :D
AHAHAHAHA! Third star “The Sedins”.
I’m so glad Puck Daddy wrote about Jack Edwards’s crazy-man laughing at the Lucic-Jones hit in tonight’s game. We were all totally thrown for a loop when he did it. That man is batshit crazy.
I attempted to watch the Tranny Cs vs Tranny Bs game but as soon as I realized I had the Boston feed, I had to stop. Jack Edwards is just too scary.
Oh, I may have lost Hub and Kid forever. The Kid bought Mario Kart yesterday. It seems to have amazingly addictive powers over them.
Going back to the original thread, we have a friend named Gardiner Green. And yes, that is his real name.
And being a Stars fan makes you very very afraid of the hockey gods.
Heh. The Boston Bruins would like to give you these important tips for protecting your head while riding a bike: 1. Be Safe 2. Wear a Helmet. Kind of sounds like Lindy Ruff’s pregame talk with the Sabres.
The Kid bought Mario Kart yesterday. It seems to have amazingly addictive powers over them.
EEEEEE!!! MarioKart! BEST. GAME. EVAH! I loves me some MarioKart. I’m so excited for Kid and Hub! :D
1. Be Safe 2. Wear a Helmet. Kind of sounds like Lindy Ruff’s pregame talk with the Sabres.
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MarioKart RAWKS! Have you tried it, Myra? It’s reeeeeeally good for winding down and regaining sanity after a bad hockey game.
mcguffers, the best part about that commercial is that the important tips aren’t for protecting your head while riding your bike — they’re tips for wearing a helmet. I think the script says, “Keep these tips in mind for wearing a helmet — wear a helmet and have fun”.
I think the script says, “Keep these tips in mind for wearing a helmet — wear a helmet and have fun”.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It’s true. It really all plays out like a commercial written by someone who had a brain injury. Which makes it just that much more emotionally resonant. :P
Pookie, you’re right!! I think I was in a state of “Uh, what’d they just say?” And don’t forget, someone was PAID to write that commercial!
MarioKart is AWESOME! As soon as I saw the first commercial for the Wii, I was so excited about a new MarioKart because I used to move the controller while I played with the old consoles, so I figured it would be fun if that now actually helped!
It really all plays out like a commercial written by someone who had a brain injury. Which makes it just that much more emotionally resonant. :P
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
It reminded me of the 5 D’s of Dodgeball: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and Dodge
It reminded me of the 5 D’s of Dodgeball: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and Dodge
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It’s also like what our Dad used to tell us about sex ed in the Catholic school he went to in the ’50s. A nun would run into the room, shout “Don’t do it!” then run out, mortified. And that’s what those helmet tips are like. “Tip #1: WEAR IT!”
How the heck does Duncan freaking Keith get 16 PIMs in one night!?! He’s going to ruin the Soldering Iron Boars Cinderella playoff run!
MarioKart RAWKS! Have you tried it, Myra? It’s reeeeeeally good for winding down and regaining sanity after a bad hockey game.
I haven’t tried it yet. It’s MarioKart for the Wii. I have major eye/hand coordination issues (I’m not kidding) so I’ve avoided most video games in general. I’ll have to sneak in and try sometime when no one is around. :P
A nun would run into the room, shout “Don’t do it!” then run out, mortified.
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That’s like my mom “talking” to me about becoming a woman by having me read the direction pamphlet in her box of Tampax.
Myra, it’s also good for letting go of any residual road rage from your commute home. I whip it out and start yelling at Princess to get of her effing cell phone and try driving with at least one hand.
That’s like my mom “talking” to me about becoming a woman by having me read the direction pamphlet in her box of Tampax.
Aw, mcguffers, as the Resident IPB Mom, if you ever need to talk, just let me know. :P
How the heck does Duncan freaking Keith get 16 PIMs in one night!?! He’s going to ruin the Soldering Iron Boars Cinderella playoff run!
EEEE! I’d closed my yahoo window in disgust earlier. I actually snarled, “I can’t watch the TinTats anymore.” I had no idea Keith had tied it up! WOOO!
I have major eye/hand coordination issues (I’m not kidding) so I’ve avoided most video games in general.
The point of MarioKart Wii is that you don’t NEED good eye/hand coordination. It’s SO intuitive. Boomer’s a video game spazz, and even she’s good at MarioKart Wii. Really, you should try it — you’ll love it! :D
That’s like my mom “talking” to me about becoming a woman by having me read the direction pamphlet in her box of Tampax.
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Pookie, you’re right!!
To be fair, Schnookie pointed it out to me after the first few times we saw it. I was like, “Na-uh! That can’t be what they say! Oh, hey. It is. HAHAHAHAHA!”
Myra, I think MarioKart is more fun the worse your hand-eye is.
Myra, where do babies come from?
Aw, mcguffers, as the Resident IPB Mom, if you ever need to talk, just let me know. :P
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It’s so good to know you’re here, Myra. :D
How the heck does Duncan freaking Keith get 16 PIMs in one night!?! He’s going to ruin the Soldering Iron Boars Cinderella playoff run!
You can thank Bufflin punching Lui in the head for that one. And a scantily clad Bieksa. And Alex Burrows. And SoB. Mmmmm. I love hockey.
Ben Eager is also a little psycho.
Myra, where do babies come from?
Excuse me just a minute, “Kid! mcguffers wants to know where babies come from! What should I tell her?”
Kid’s answer, “It’s when something special happens between a man and a woman that love each other.”
Kid’s answer, “It’s when something special happens between a man and a woman that love each other.”
Awww. Kid’s so wise. :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Myra, :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Thanks Myra and Kid! :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
When will I get boobs?
Ooooooh. I want the answer to the boob question too! HAHAHA.
Um, doesn’t a stork having something to do with it? Don’t tell me I’ve been killing storks for no reason.
Well it looks like it ends in in a tie, Schnookie. I would look up the tiebreakers but I think I’m just going to wait for tomorrow and let it be a surprise.
When will I get boobs?
Well if you haven’t gotten them by now, let me see…
Excuse me a minute. “Ice Girls! mcguffers wants to know where do boobs come from!”
**is inundated by plastic surgeons business cards**
Don’t tell me I’ve been killing storks for no reason.
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Me too! Heh.
I was puttering around trying to figure out the tiebreaker rules, but couldn’t find anything. I bet whatever it is, you win. I mean, the TinTats led pretty much wire to wire. It would only be fitting for us to run out of gas in our first playoff round. :P
Excuse me a minute. “Ice Girls! mcguffers wants to know where do boobs come from!”
:^:::::::::::::::::: DAMMIT! Am I going to have to get boobs along with losing weight before the Ice Girl auditions in Anaheim in August?
“Ice Girls! mcguffers wants to know where do boobs come from!”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
How long does it take for female cat’s stitches to heal after being fixed? Sakura just had her operation Wednesday and I’ve been being overprotective watching over her and Wu Fei and keeping them from chasing each other and rough housing.
That’s like my mom “talking” to me about becoming a woman by having me read the direction pamphlet in her box of Tampax.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
My mom gave me a really cool pamphlet! It had girls wearing poodle skirts. And this was in the 70′s.
To be fair, she also gave me a reading list to pick up at the library.
“Ice Girls! mcguffers wants to know where do boobs come from!”
HAHAHA!
Ice Girls: Duuhhhhh….
alix, I saw some of that main brawl. I know they’re supposed to have their shirts tied down, but I love it when it comes up/off during a fight. Especially when it happens to both fighters!
How long does it take for female cat’s stitches to heal after being fixed?
Hm. I’m not sure. I don’t think it takes that long… (Ours were all spayed before we got them.) Did your vet recommend she be sequestered at all?
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hockey fight where one player actually pulls the other guy’s hair. :P
**is inundated by plastic surgeons business cards**
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I wonder if I can get a tax deduction for a career related expenditure.
Frisby, I wish I could help, but this toss pillow with legs here is a boy.
Ice Girls: “We don’t get plastic surgery. We’re naturally this way! Plus, it’s beauty on the inside that matters!”
Timmy “Vanilla Dong” Connolly: “I’ll put some beauty inside you.”
RoyZ: “AAAAAA OOOOHHHHH” *high fives*
DAMMIT! Am I going to have to get boobs along with losing weight before the Ice Girl auditions in Anaheim in August?
I don’t know about Anaheim but in Dallas you would. As well as visiting Planet Tan an absurd amount of times.
One of the Ice Girls is a teacher at the Kid’s school. You should have heard the moms at my Bunco group describing her and how well their 7th grade sons are doing in her class. Something about really low cut shirts and short short skirts. I’m glad I have a daughter.
Timmy “Vanilla Dong” Connolly: “I’ll put some beauty inside you.”
RoyZ: “AAAAAA OOOOHHHHH” *high fives*
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And that’s hilarious that Kid has an Ice Girl teaching at her school! Our cousins had a teacher at their school in New Orleans who was a cheerleader for the Saints. Our aunt is a strident old-school feminist, so it was always hilarious to hear her response to the Saints cheerleader giving presentations at the school’s Career Day.
Frisby, I think it doesn’t take too long. Our ex-roommate had her cat fixed, and I remember worrying but not for weeks or anything.
Well I the vet board her until Friday just to be on the safe side. The vet didn’t say anything except that Wu Fei might not like the smell of her since she was in a room with other cats. She was right about that. He finally stopped growling and hissing at her today. Now she wants to play.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hockey fight where one player actually pulls the other guy’s hair.”
Neither have I. Usually, that’s reserved for the NBA.
He finally stopped growling and hissing at her today. Now she wants to play.
Hee! Well, you’re probably safe. If Sakura’s not feeling up to playing, she’ll just beg off, right?
Yeah, but I have to go to work tomorrow, so I guess I’ll just lock her up in the guest room while I’m gone to be on the safe side. Speaking of work, I best be off to bed. Good night everyone.
Rod Brind’Amour is on the 100 Unsexiest Men of 2009. Not shocking. He’s ONLY at 83. Shocking.
Rod Brind’Amour is on the 100 Unsexiest Men of 2009. Not shocking. He’s ONLY at 83. Shocking.
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Rod Brind’Amour is probably wondering why his rippling muscles aren’t helping.
G’night, Frisby! I think sequestering the cat is probably a good idea. That’s what I’d do! (And good luck in the tie-break. Heh.)
Rod Brind’Amour is on the 100 Unsexiest Men of 2009. Not shocking. He’s ONLY at 83. Shocking.
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Rod Brind’Amour is probably wondering why his rippling muscles aren’t helping.
He’s also probably wondering how Ovie isn’t on the list.
Alright, my contact is starting to curl out of my eye, so it’s time for bed. Here’s to the start of another great week of hockey. Hey wait, this week was really good! Uh, for some people…. *running away before Patty, Myra, and Ookies throw things*
Hey wait, this week was really good! Uh, for some people…. *running away before Patty, Myra, and Ookies throw things*
Yeah, good night, mcguggers. :P
g’night ;)
So long, mcguffers!
*throws things* Goodnight, mcguffers!
Heeey! What is Bob Errey doing on “On The Fly”?!? On The Fly is supposed to be an idiot-free zone!
*running away before Patty, Myra, and Ookies throw things*
**throws shoe, misses**
See, I told you I had terrible eye/hand coordination.
Goodnight mcguffers, Goodnight IPB!
G’night, Myra!
See, I told you I had terrible eye/hand coordination.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Good night, everyone!
Good morning!
The best part about the Canucks/Blackhawks fight (aside from the hair pulling and ripped underarmour) was that Luongo was just standing there, like “you idiots hash it out, and I’ll just stand over here. All by myself. Not throwing punches at anyone.”
Rod Brind’Amour is on the 100 Unsexiest Men of 2009. Not shocking. He’s ONLY at 83. Shocking.
He’s only #83? I’d like to see who ranks higher than that.
Good morning, everyone!
I… don’t have anything to add right now. I just got out of a meeting for which I was in the office at 8 a.m., I’m still sick, and I just ran out of Kleenex. Today? Sucks. And hey! We’re playing the Rangers on Blersus tonight! WOO HOOO!
I’m so sorry Schnookie! Meetings should never be scheduled for that early in the morning or right after lunch. I’d be asleep.
It’s only 8:45 here and I’m already bored. This can’t bode well.
Thanks, Myra! And dude, I was here at 8, all logged in and with my morning cup of tea steeped and poured by 8:15, and was deadly bored by 8:20. It’s been a rough, rough day. :P
I think our coffee maker has finally died. The coffee tastes like coffee flavored water. Even if I drink the whole pot, I don’t think there will be enough caffeine to save me.
Hm. I only just got up. Should I not expect to be interested in anything in about twenty minutes? Rats! :D
Meetings should never be scheduled for that early in the morning or right after lunch. I’d be asleep.
I hate meetings scheduled for after 3pm. I get giggly in afternoon meetings for some reason.
Should I not expect to be interested in anything in about twenty minutes? Rats!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Yeah, the end of the interwebs is a lot closer than you think today. There are very short horizons out there. :P
Meetings after 3 pm blow, too. Actually, now that I think about it, all meetings are awful. Heh.
Meetings after 3 pm blow, too. Actually, now that I think about it, all meetings are awful. Heh.
Agreed and agreed. I’ve only gotten less patient as I’ve gotten older. I thought for sure it would be the other way around.
I’ve only gotten less patient as I’ve gotten older.
Me too! And we’ve both still got a ways to go before we count as actually “older”, so imagine how much worse it’s going to get! :P
Heh. Maybe we’ll be so crotchety that they’ll start “forgetting” to tell us about the meetings and just fill us in afterwards.
Maybe we’ll be so crotchety that they’ll start “forgetting” to tell us about the meetings and just fill us in afterwards.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Here’s hoping! I’m going to start playing up my crotchetyness NOW. Get ahead of the curve. It sounds very promising. :D
I hate hate hate hate hate meetings. We have monthly staff meetings split into two session and each dept is supposed to give a report of what’s going on. It’s stupid and it’s a time-waster because the department heads go on and on and on and on listing every single little detail that no one cares about. This last month I was asked to report on my group so I talked for two minutes. Not one minute more not one minute less. I covered all the same stuff the dept head had done in the earlier session but in a quarter of the time. The manager was like, “Wow, that was fast! Wow. Well… Um… OK!” I’m like, “HELLO! If everyone did that we’d all get out of this meeting on time! WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS THIS?!?!?” I HATE MEETINGS! I wish all meetings were done online.
WOOOOOOOO!!!! I got tickets for Game 1 of the First Round!!! WOOOOOOO!!!
I HATE MEETINGS! I wish all meetings were done online.
Heh. We had an expensive time-management and efficiency consulting group come in and do some sort of expensive study on how my company’s work habits are affecting productivity. And the result of their study? A very important company-wide policy change regarding meetings. The change? Going forward, meetings should start AND END on time. *Headdesk*
Tim, that’s awesome! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Way to go, Tim! WOOOOOO!!!
Sorry I’m late on the Name of the Year bracket, but boy did this take me back. My first real person job in NYC was a membership services organization, and we would have “The Name of the Day” to combat constant tedium. We’d put a different member name up for consideration when their dues payment came in, and voted if that name deserved to knock off the reigning name. We had to retire the game when William Schmuck paid his dues. He never was topped.
It’s snowing. Am I in a timewarp to November when the Sabres had a chance at the playoffs?
I forgot my local favorite, “Bill Pucko on Sports.” He does the sports on RNews. I always thought his name sounded more like a hockey mascot.
Sorry about the meetings everyone. I guess I should feel bad that I have the rest of the day free. heh. Yeah, I probably should. :P
Ok, I can’t take credit for this one, I heard it on the radio this morning. Peter Marshall of “Hollywood Squares” fame had a son who played Major League Baseball. He went by his father’s real name, instead of his stage name. His name…Peter LaCock. I’m not making this up.
William Schmuck is awesome! I used to work at a pharmacy benefit manager call center, and we would collect the great names we came across. Of course, I can’t remember any of them now, so this is a great story. I probably wouldn’t feel comfortable disclosing any of them either, come to think of it… Never mind! :P
Bill Pucko and Peter LaCock are awesome names!!
My mother once printed up business cards for a Dr. Doktor.
and i used to pass a Dentistry office for a Dr. Payne.
i dont think they qualify for NOTY, but they made me chuckle.
I’ve actually also seen dentists named Dr. Payne — it seems like a shockingly common dentist name. Maybe it’s the family business or something?
Dr. Doktor, though, RAWKS.
My mom’s heart surgeon was named Dr. Pepper. That always made me smile.
If I was a dentist name Dr. Payne, I would totally have that scene with Steve Martin from “Little Shop of Horrors” playing in my waiting room. Just cause I prefer sarcasm to actual good business practices.
Myra, it took me five minutes to figure out what was wrong with Dr. Pepper. I seriously have a case of the Mondays.
Well, it’s probably more interesting to me because his practice was in Waco, TX which happens to be the home of Dr. Pepper, the drink.
Myra, it took me five minutes to figure out what was wrong with Dr. Pepper.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I suppose Dr. Pepper’s a little less prevalent here on the East Coast than in Texas, but still… :P
My dentist is Dr. Vlad. His accent is a unique mix of Max Afinogenov and Jaro Spacek.
Speaking of names, it was in the NY Times yesterday that the Sean Avery movie is going to be called “Puckface.” There’s so many bad jokes in my head right now.
Doctors Pepper, Doktor, and Vlad are awesome! I saw a doctor who shared a practice with a Dr. Bagel. Oh, and my doctor is Dr. Hug!
I suppose Dr. Pepper’s a little less prevalent here on the East Coast than in Texas, but still… :P
Did I mention there’s a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper sitting on the desk next to me. I’m.Not.Kidding. I make Jessica Simpson look like a rocket scientist.
a;kjfdgar;edfja;ueri>|bkj <—- That’s what my forehead typed when it hit the keyboard after seeing the words “Sean Avery” “movie” and “Puckface” all in the same sentence.
Did I mention there’s a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper sitting on the desk next to me.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Speaking of names, it was in the NY Times yesterday that the Sean Avery movie is going to be called “Puckface.” There’s so many bad jokes in my head right now.
I would rather be chained into a theater seat and be forced to watch a marathon of obscure German art films than see that movie.
Howdy, IPB. I hope everyone’s days are satisfactory so far.
My younger sister used to go to school with twin girls named Nestle and Candy Fudge, as long as you’re discussing strange names. Heh.
Nestle and Candy Fudge? No. Way. That ROCKS!
Nestle and Candy Fudge? No. Way. That ROCKS!
Even better, I think their siblings are named after treats, as well. I will say, they were sweet girls and their names suited them well. Heh.
I saw a doctor who shared a practice with a Dr. Bagel. Oh, and my doctor is Dr. Hug!
Dr Hug should share a practise with Dr Squeeze.
just for reference, my last name is 4 letters and the first 2 are Fu
just for reference, my last name is 4 letters and the first 2 are Fu
So it’s you who’s got the Funk?
As for March doldrums, I got sick of the Devils’ suckiness and the sad truth that their games are basically meaningless until the playoffs and started watching the Blues’ playoff charge instead. It is much more exciting to see a team play for its playoff life! If only they had better announcers…
I can’t think of an excuse to not watch tonight’s Rangers-Devils matchup though, hopefully it will snap them out of their funk (the bad Vanilla Ice kind that is).
So it’s you who’s got the Funk?
I was trying and failing to think of an “Fu” last name… Heh. Thanks, Mike!
And it’s been AWFULLY fun watching non-Devils teams lately. I won’t name names here, because we’ve pretty much abandoned all hope of respectability, but there are a few WC teams we’ve been keeping a close eye on lately, and it’s just so refreshing to walk away from the Devils baggage for a few hours. :D
The Blues are my west coast mistress. although in recent years, she’s stopped putting out around the same round (give or take a round) of the playoffs as my Devils bride.
I maybe have had the opportunity to, at some point, work in a customer service job where we had a regular customer who’s name was Fuchs. One of my coworkers didn’t realize how it was supposed to be pronounced so she called him Mr. Fucks. I let it go for like a month before I finally corrected her. It was just too funny to put an end to!
Pookie, :^:::::::::::::::::::::: I never would have corrected her.
I love that I’m able to find the lunch menu for all the elementary schools from my school district, but I can not find the phone number to request my high school transcript. Anyone wanna know what supplies you’ll need for Mrs. Mee’s fifth grade band? Cause I could find those!
speaking of Funk, and since (with all the love and respect i have for you beautiful ladies) IPB seems a bit shy in a musical aspect, and although i do sincerely enjoy the food talk and gardening (i just started my first clippings of the season – lemon thyme and mint) I’m here at work jamming out to a guy who records by the name of Lack Of Afro. fun name and funky sound.
Half of the people I follow on Twitter have Chicago as their secondary team, so I think I now know more about them than ever. I still have a soft spot for the CBJs and hope they get their little swoon under control.
The best part about the Canucks/Blackhawks fight (aside from the hair pulling and ripped underarmour) was that Luongo was just standing there, like “you idiots hash it out, and I’ll just stand over here. All by myself. Not throwing punches at anyone.”
Hee! Good old Lui. I swear Bieksa impregnated me through my lappytop screen. Dear Swede on a meatball does ripped underarmour and blood work for him. And poor Burr. I know hair pulling is ridiculous but Keith had him in a headlock. So it was either hairpulling or eye gouching. Either way he was in a tough spot.
Good afternoon IPB! Gosh I love hockey!
When I was a kid I had to get surgery on my foot and I swear my orthepedic surgeon (who specialized in feet/legs etc.) was called Dr.Tredwell. Heh.
I won’t name names here, because we’ve pretty much abandoned all hope of respectability, but there are a few WC teams we’ve been keeping a close eye on lately
Are you watching the Ducks again? (I’m having trouble thinking of teams you would be watching in the WC and not want to mention and those are the only ones I can think of.)
I’m here at work jamming out to a guy who records by the name of Lack Of Afro. fun name and funky sound.
That sounds way funkier than what I’m jamming out to — the new Bonnie “Prince” Billy album. Not very funky at all. But totally awesome. (I can’t stop listening to it. I suspect it’s going to be a lot like last year’s Bonnie “Prince” Billy release, in that the only thing that will stop me from listening to it 24/7 will be the release of the next album. Heh.)
And EEEE!!! Herb clippings! That’s awesome! We’re hardening off the onions, thinning the tomatoes and peppers, and waiting very impatiently for the peas to sprout. The NYT told us we needed to plant two weeks ago, and NOTHING IS HAPPENING with them. Hmph. “Paper of record” my ass. :P
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching Chicago and CBJ this year because I love their broadcasts.
Oh Amy who are you on Twitter? I finally cracked and got twitter yesterday.
It better not be the Flamers Ookies…
IPB seems a bit shy in a musical aspect
Alls I know is that the new Bonnie Prince Billy album is AWESOME. :D Lack of Afro sounds like the story of the Carolina Hurricanes after they traded Mike Commodore.
And thanks for mentioning mint! That reminds me we need to think about ordering some. I thinned our tomato seedlings today and they smelled like Summer! It was killer.
Are you watching the Ducks again?
We, um, might be. We might also be watching a non-playoff team entirely because of their trade-deadline acquisition of a certain Tranny Bride whose name rhymes with Blottie Blupshall. Yup. If there’s a hockey hell, we’re going to be damned for all eternity there. :P
It better not be the Flamers Ookies…
EWWWWW! NEVER!!!! That’s TERRIBLE! No, I stop myself at the Ducks and non-playoff-contending Coyotes. I have standards, you know. :P
We might also be watching a non-playoff team entirely because of their trade-deadline acquisition of a certain Tranny Bride whose name rhymes with Blottie Blupshall.
Ah, well I guess they have certain things to recommend them. Er, not the winning, obviously . . . Or the coaching. But I kind of feel for them with their financial difficulties.
Ah, well I guess they have certain things to recommend them.
They’re skating a line with Upshall and Lombardi! I’m not blind! How am I supposed to resist?! It’s only fair after sitting through so much Blobby Holik this season!
Now that it’s just a technicality that we’re not eliminated from the playoffs, I kind of like CBJ, too. And God help me, I might like the Blues.
I’ve long hated them, but since they’ve been so bad for so long, that hate has cooled. If I actually watch them closely for a few games, it might return,though.
Lombardi is pretty damn smoking. I was delighted when he got traded. It was very troubling wanting to bone a Flame.
EWWWWW! NEVER!!!! That’s TERRIBLE! No, I stop myself at the Ducks and non-playoff-contending Coyotes. I have standards, you know. :P
Phew! I don’t have to hand you back the favourite blog to hang out at day and night card then.
who are you on Twitter?
I’m aimelena.
If there’s a hockey hell, we’re going to be damned for all eternity there.
Oh god, you’re going to be doomed to be surrounded by Rangers fans.
No, I stop myself at the Ducks and non-playoff-contending Coyotes. I have standards, you know. :P
Low standards, but standards nonetheless. :P
alix, I’m on Twitter, too! I’m Patty_in_Dallas.
I’m all hip with what the kids are doing these days. :D Kind of.
(I can’t see it at work, though.)
Hello everyone!
God help me, I might like the Blues.
Western teams fans, cover your ears:
The Blues and the Hawks are my two permanent love affairs in the west. I’m so happy both of them finally have a promising season, after all those years of sucking. And right now, I’m also rooting for the blue jackets, but this may not last beyond this season.
All this season-long talk about secondary teams has made this season surprisingly enjoyable, in spite of the relative suckiness of my #1 team. And I realized that I’m a sucker for desperate/dysfunctional franchises. I loved the Blues and the Hawks before they started to look good. The Panthers misery pushed them into my arms. And I’m now seriously hoping for the Isles to get Tavares, stay in Long Island, and turn into something good.
And Amy! I’m sure I’m not using Twitter to its fullest, but hey.
Oh I’ll add you too, Patty!
The Kings are my only true West secondary boyfriends. The Devils, Bruins, Lightning, Leafs in the East.
Bruins, Lightning, Leafs in the East
Gasp! that’s an evil trio alix…
Hee! I know Grrrreg!
Bruins – See Milan Lucic. And I find Chara and his giant charity efforts totally adorable.
Leafs- Luke Schenn. He is perfection. And Vesa Toskala and his man purse. And giving us Sundin and that awesome little weirdo Kyle Wellwood.
Lightning – Drafting my cousin. And Vinny.
Bruins-Leafs-Lightning: Grrreg’s ‘Axis of Evil’?
All this season-long talk about secondary teams has made this season surprisingly enjoyable, in spite of the relative suckiness of my #1 team.
EXACTLY! Secondary teams are a vital cog in the great wheel of enjoying a hockey season.
Bruins-Leafs-Lightning: Grrreg’s ‘Axis of Evil’?
:P Yeah, pretty much…
I don’t really care about the Lightning, so you could replace them with the Flyers or this season’s Penguins, and yeah, that’s my 2009 Eastern Axis of Evil!
My EC Axis of Evil is Rangers-Rangers-Rangers-Rangers-Rangers. Actually, I think that might be my WC one too. They’re just that evil.
Lightning – Drafting my cousin. And Vinny.
Ha! Cousin? Vinny? Get it? :P
I like the Lightning, too, but it won’t help me in the playoffs. :D Probably not until James joins the team. Right, alix?
Wow, Pookie. That’s EEEEEE-veel.