Today fans of 29 teams across the NHL are breathing a little sigh of relief that theirs wasn’t the team named in the recent steroid-dealer bust down in Tampa, while the unlucky Caps fans are stuck trying to rationalize all the reasons why there’s no way their beloved boys could possibly be dopers. The fact is, though, the scandal is only just beginning, and it’s only a matter of time before the witch hunt heads north on 95. In an effort to head off the storm before it arrives, we’d like to present one reason for each Devil as valid as any of the ones we’ve seen tossed out in the blogosphere today that proves he can’t possibly be doping. (We’re using the roster currently on the Devils website. Yes, we realize several of these players might not be our problem, depending on how quickly that witch hunt makes its way to Newark.)
David Clarkson: He’s too pretty to take steroids.
Patrik Elias: Anything he takes is totally legal and is follow-up treatment for his Hep.
Brian Gionta: Steroids make you big and strong. He’s only small and strong.
Blobby Holik: He’s retired and we refuse to ever think about him ever again.
Jamie Langenbrunner: Steroids help you heal faster. He was back in the lineup a day after arthoscopic surgery. If he was doping, he’d have had the surgery during a game.
John Madden: Old Maddog isn’t nimble enough to administer syringe-based drugs, and ‘roids don’t come in easy to drink milkshake form. Shut up! They totally don’t!
Jay Pandolfo: Look, Pando doesn’t come out of a syringe. Okay?
Zach Parise: Steroids make you faster. And somebody we know lost the Fastest Skater Superskills Competition.
Brian Rolston: We completely — and we mean completely — forgot he’s a Devil. It was a shock to find him on the roster at all, so he doesn’t count.
Mike Rupp: No one with a Cup winning goal on his resume has tested positive yet, so he must be in the clear.
Brendan Shanahan: Since when is having wooden teeth a performance-enhancer?
Travis Zajac: He’s always talking nervously about his off-season training regimen to work on his beach body. We have strong suspicions about Travis. We have spies on the beaches of Winnipeg who sent us this picture. It bears an uncanny resemblance to #19, does it not?
Dainius Zubrus: He wanted to sign with the Devils as a UFA. Clearly he’s not up on the current trends in the sporting world.
Andy Greene: Please. Her?
Niclas Havelid: Have-who? Total doper. See ya.
Paul Martin: You honestly think this guy is doping?
Mike Mottau: Would a guy on ‘roids have a pug named Nellie?
Johnny Oduya: He’s too clumsy to be able to hold onto a syringe long enough.
Bryce Salvador: He’s the Iron Boar, not the Andro Boar. Duh!
Colin White: He hasn’t had a ‘roid rage-y incident in years. He’s clearly not doping. Anymore.
Marty Brodeur: If steroids are supposed to help with recovery time, then how, if he’s juicing, do you explain him missing over 50 games this year? If he was doping, he’d have missed three or four games tops.
Kevin Weekes: Weekes can’t swim. Swimmers dope. Ergo, Weeeks can’t dope.
Everything here makes perfect sense, and I have no doubt now that the Devils are completely clean. I also believe the Sabres are not doping because, well, honestly, I’d expect much better results.
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Well, I’m convinced. The Devils are definitely clean.
The Caps are filthy dopers though.
Very cute. On a serious note, Lou was the one GM asking the head of the NHLPA when the players were going to agree to tougher testing standards when Kelly showed up to meet w/the GMs. Kelly had little that was useful to say on the topic.
Of course, the players could be doped up anyway…what the GM says has nothing to do w/that.
I also believe the Sabres are not doping because, well, honestly, I’d expect much better results.
That was one of our thoughts, too. We kind of felt, considering how the Devils play, the question of doping is moot, but figured we’d erase any lingering doubts anyway.
I’m so glad we’ve convinced you guys of our team’s innocence! We were also going to use the catch-all excuse of “our team can’t possibly be doping because we like them too much for them to dope,” but we figured the flaw in that argument is that we don’t like them. :P
Lou probably figures if he could get the rest of the league busted for doping, he might be able to squeeze a few more good years out of his current model of roster-assembly for the Devils. :P
but we figured the flaw in that argument is that we don’t like them
Maybe if they were doping they’d be more likeable. Well…maybe they’d win more. Yeah, that’s it.
“our team can’t possibly be doping because we like them too much for them to dope,” but we figured the flaw in that argument is that we don’t like them. :P
Every time I see that the only hockey games left are Stupid Faces vs. Douche Rockets, I remember how much I hate the Sabres right now.
Lou probably figures if he could get the rest of the league busted for doping, he might be able to squeeze a few more good years out of his current model of roster-assembly for the Devils. :P
Well, you’ve seen the current crop of UFAs, where NJ is in the draft and what’s happening w/the salary cap. Do you have a better suggestion???? I mean, other than finding a way to get convincing evidence that Garth Snow is an extraterrestrial polymorphic polygamist and somehow blackmail the 1st pick out of him for rights to retired Blobby Holik?
Do you have a better suggestion????
I feel like the Devils are just treading water as an organization. I dunno. This past year felt like a team that was just marking time, what with the one-year Shanny and Holik deals. It’ll be interesting to see what happens going into the coming year. (Yeah. “Interesting”. I’ll keep saying that and see if I can convince myself of it… :P)
Every time I see that the only hockey games left are Stupid Faces vs. Douche Rockets, I remember how much I hate the Sabres right now.
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On another topic, my cats are absolutely fascinated by two very large rabbits that are right outside the back sliding glass doors. They really, really want to get outside and catch them. I’m sure they are mentally ‘morphing’ those rabbits the way Wylie Coyote used to dream about the Roadrunner turning into a roast bird with vegetables, etc.
I feel like the Devils are just treading water as an organization.
Particularly with everyone convinced that they’re going to need to find a new coach after next season at the latest.
Who wears red and who wears black in the battle of the Stupid Faces vs. the Douche Rockets?
Every time I see that the only hockey games left are Stupid Faces vs. Douche Rockets, I remember how much I hate the Sabres right now.
Heh. Are we rooting for the Stupid Faces or the Douche Rockets tonight?
I hate most of the Sabres with the exception of Crunchy. He’s just cranky enough in his new blog to earn my love back.
I’m sure they are mentally ‘morphing’ those rabbits the way Wylie Coyote used to dream about the Roadrunner turning into a roast bird with vegetables, etc.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: In our old house we had a possum that frequented our backyard after dark, and one of our cats would go completely nuts about it. It was the only outdoors animal she ever paid any attention to, so we used to joke that the kibble we feed them was probably made of possum, and Rollie was there watching the one in the yard and thinking, “Oooh! Kibble on the hoof!”
Who wears red and who wears black in the battle of the Stupid Faces vs. the Douche Rockets?
I’m guessing the Douche Rockets wear red. Any team with “rocket” in their name has to, by law.
I’m giving Douche Rockets to the Red Team. The Black team gets Stupid Faces cause it’s 50% their fault that the Finals are going to be a complete repeat of last year. (In case you’re wondering, the Furry Canes take the other 50%)
Schnookie, and that.
(In case you’re wondering, the Furry Canes take the other 50%)
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
And honestly, can’t we have a redo of the SCF matchup? I didn’t care about Wings/Pens the first time around.
I didn’t care about Wings/Pens the first time around.
This is Karma’s way of getting us back for mocking out that Versus showing of Rangers vs. Wild. Remind me to never say, “Can I watch a lamer game?” because the answer will always be “Yes. Yes you can.”
Remind me to never say, “Can I watch a lamer game?” because the answer will always be “Yes. Yes you can.”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: You know what, though? Thank you for reminding me that there IS something lamer than another Wings/Pens SCF. I would KILL MYSELF before I’d watch a Rangers/Wild SCF.
And honestly, can’t we have a redo of the SCF matchup? I didn’t care about Wings/Pens the first time around.
This is your punishment (and mine) for not caring about it last time. We get it again, because we didn’t care about something so many people thought was wonderful last year.
It must be our fault. Maybe if we had just cared last year, they wouldn’t be back.
Nah. I still don’t care. Especially since they have now burdened us with…Butthead.
Maybe if we had just cared last year, they wouldn’t be back.
Wow. I feel terrible now. But it’s not going to make me care this year, either!
I would KILL MYSELF before I’d watch a Rangers/Wild SCF.
And with that, you have just predicted the 2009-2010 season playoff finals. :P
But it’s not going to make me care this year, either!
I was too busy thinking about my indifference… what were we supposed to care about again?
And with that, you have just predicted the 2009-2010 season playoff finals. :P
I’ll quit then. I’ll just hand in my NHL fan card and find a new sport.
I was too busy thinking about my indifference… what were we supposed to care about again?
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21 shots on Huet in the first? That’s good that he saved them, but that’s not going to last.
I’m torn. I want the Hawks to win the series, but since they’re probably not going to, I wish they’d just get it over with.
I’ll quit then. I’ll just hand in my NHL fan card and find a new sport.
I’m calling your bluff!!
I flipped the channel during a commercial and started watching a Law & Order repeat. I just realized 12 MINUTES LATER that I never switched back.
Kaner looked a bit odd there in that interview. Can’t quite put my finger on it though.
I’m torn. I want the Hawks to win the series, but since they’re probably not going to, I wish they’d just get it over with.
I know exactly how you feel.
Kaner looked a bit odd there in that interview. Can’t quite put my finger on it though.
:::coughsteroids!cough:::
(Just kidding, Kaner.)
Kaner looked a bit odd there in that interview. Can’t quite put my finger on it though.
He did, but I’m too busy watching videos of Duncan Keith elsewhere to have paid too much attention.
I feel like Versus created Fanarchy just to make Sports Soup look slightly more palatable.
Heather!! Until they prove steroids lead to elfin adorableness and perfectly springy hair coils, I won’t believe it!!
I feel like Versus created Fanarchy just to make Sports Soup look slightly more palatable.
Which is funny because they created Sports Soup to make Ultimate Fighting slightly more palatable.
Pete Kane is TOTALLY doping! I REFUSE to believe otherwise.
I feel like Versus created Fanarchy just to make Sports Soup look slightly more palatable.
Which is funny because they created Sports Soup to make Ultimate Fighting slightly more palatable.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I can’t wait to see what they come up with to make Fanarchy look palatable. (Rangers/Wild SCF?)
I can’t wait to see what they come up with to make Fanarchy look palatable. (Rangers/Wild SCF?)
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I’m bookmarking this page so next year we all know who to blame when Avery and, uh *thinks* uh a, uh, Wild player are battling with each other.
Clutterbuck! There’s one! Ohhh, and Gaborik? Her too, right?
I think doping is the only explanation for Kaner’s hair being all upswept.
I can’t wait to see what they come up with to make Fanarchy look palatable.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**runs from the room shrieking in terror**
uh *thinks* uh a, uh, Wild player
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That’s all I got, too. :P
Here’s something I hope:
Marian Hossa is humiliated in the Finals by losing to the team he left for a chance at the Cup.
THEN, he signs with the Stars. :D
(Is he right-handed, by any chance?)
I think doping is the only explanation for Kaner’s hair being all upswept.
Then what the hell is that Jon and Kate Plus 8 chick using? Her hair is on horse tranquilizers.
I just realized there are a few teams I can’t think of any players for. Surray is still an Oiler, right? Do the Kings still have a team? Damn West Coast.
Her hair is on horse tranquilizers.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The best player for the Kings is RudyKelly.
The best player for the Kings is RudyKelly.
Speaking of horse hair tranquilizers! Kelly HRudy has awesome messy hair! Totally cute.
Hey I know that name! Thanks Patty! Let’s hope he doesnt get traded cause then I’m back to nothing.
Alright, I’ll say it. I want Cristo-wall to win this.
My favourite reason why this Devil isn’t doping:
Brendan Shanahan: Since when is having wooden teeth a performance-enhancer?
LOLLERSKATES! Wooden teef FTW!
Mike and both agree that Bertuzzi acts suspiciously like someone using steroids. Just a guess, though. I have no inside scoop on roids in Vancouver.
George Laroque is becoming a vegetarian on June 1. Seriously. He made a schedule to become a vegetarian. $20 bucks says he makes it until he realizes bacon is meat. George I recommend baby steps. I chose pecto-vegetarianism because fish aren’t cute and cuddly.
Mike and both agree that Bertuzzi acts suspiciously like someone using steroids.
I’ll buy that. But I won’t quote you on it. I wouldn’t want him to come looking for the people spreading those rumors about him. :P
$20 bucks says he makes it until he realizes bacon is meat.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: No bet. (I recommend he just ditch beef. And fish. That gives you the feeling of being limited when you eat out, but without having to give up pork products.)
Seriously. He made a schedule to become a vegetarian.
He probably is doing like I do when I plan to start a diet on Monday. Eat junk like CRAZY right up until that day.
Beef and pork were the first two I gave up, but I think that has to do with my extreme dislike of ham and sausage. The day George throws a bucket of red paint on a fur clad Olsen twin is the day he gets taken behind the barn.
He probably is doing like I do when I plan to start a diet
on Monday. Eat junk like CRAZY right up until that day.
I’m picturing him binging on a goat right now.
I’m picturing him binging on a goat right now.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Reminds me of a song where the guy eats a french-fried Shetland pony.
Squuueee. Georges Laraque just gained like 50 behind the barn points from me.
The Canucks aren’t doping because Matty has so many cab/bus threesomes. Would he be able to have so many if he had itty bitty balls from doping? I think not!
Would he be able to have so many if he had itty bitty balls from doping?
Maybe that’s why he brings extra guys! :P
The day George throws a bucket of red paint on a fur clad Olsen twin is the day he gets taken behind the barn.
Heeeee! Oh. And I would be there to take that paparazzi photo…for the Olson Twin part…not the behind the barn part. Unless you want me to, mcguffers. For posterity?
Shit. I hate the Wings.
Why does it seem like that was the game winning goal? Ah, that would be my Habs fan mentality.
And I would be there to take that paparazzi photo…for the Olson Twin part…not the behind the barn part. Unless you want me to, mcguffers. For posterity?
Been there, done that. Check Youtube.
Would he be able to have so many if he had itty bitty balls from doping?
Maybe that’s why he brings extra guys! :P
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*sees alix* uh, not funny Patty…
Been there, done that. Check Youtube.
SNORT! and :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Yeah Frodo!!
Maybe that’s why he brings extra guys! :P
LOLS!
Been there, done that. Check Youtube.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Man, I get up to make brownies, and I come back to find things getting all porny in here. I shouldn’t have expected anything less.
Man, I get up to make brownies, and I come back to find things getting all porny in here.
I read “pony” at first and thought it was a reference to George Laroque eating farm animals.
SQUEE! Ripper resigned for 2 years! Now if only the little guy could stay healthy…he might be a new Burrows
And Hordi’s ripped Johnson gets to stay together. WOOOO.
I read “pony” at first and thought it was a reference to George Laroque eating farm animals.
It was that too.
“Most of this team is under 25. Doesn’t that give you hope if you’re a Blackhawks fan?”
Ookies, I think he’s slamming your geezer team.
This game is getting exciting.
That’s a Turco-type kick save!
I read “pony” at first and thought it was a reference to George Laroque eating farm animals.
It was that too.
Or a reference to Lucic doing farm animals.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, but it’s been too long!
What a great kick save!
Ookies, I think he’s slamming your geezer team.
He can get in line. (And seriously, the poor guy not only had to watch the entire Devils season, he had to announce it. Doc should get some kind of medal for that.)
Kane’s got very nice teeth.
Or a reference to Lucic doing farm animals.
Looch is the praying mantis of farm-animal fetishists. He “mates” with them, then bites off their heads.
Looch is the praying mantis of farm-animal fetishist. He “mates” with them, then bites off their heads.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: He better have his mess cleaned up because Huet needs some barn action. I’m going to keep rewinding that last save. (Is it sad that a foxy save has the same effect as porn on me?)
(Is it sad that a foxy save has the same effect as porn on me?)
You’re preaching to the choir on that one, mcguggs.
You’re preaching to the choir on that one, mcguggs.
Yeah, I’ve heard you guys have a pretty good goalie out there :)
Yeah, I’ve heard you guys have a pretty good goalie out there :)
We do? Oh. Right. That guy. *Eyeroll*
(Yeah, it’s still too soon. :P)
Sad handshakes. :-(
Sigh. The Little Hawks gave it a good go. And Huet, go figure?
The upside? Not having to hear about Berflugen for the rest of the Playoffs. W00T!
Blackhawks, Huet gets the first pick of the hookers tonight.
Wow, you know what didn’t help to make this a more exciting series? The fact that both of these teams are Original Six. :P
The best part, Toews can shave his muttonchops. Thank goodness.
I cannot stress enough how much of an IDIOT I’d feel like if I was a Wings fan and was forced to cheer for Osgood.
Wow, you know what didn’t help to make this a more exciting series? The fact that both of these teams are Original Six. :P
What about the Winter Retread? Did that make this a more exciting series?
PTOOEY! On the Wings.
The Blackhawks had a good run!
BUAHAHAHA!! eat it Hawks!
So long Bufflidouchetrocket!
Time to make sexy eyes at Tanger and Malkin.
You know what else isn’t making this an exciting series? The “should we touch the trophy” debate.
I cannot stress enough how much of an IDIOT I’d feel like if I was a Wings fan and was forced to cheer for Osgood.
Not like last year! :P
(Eventually I’ll let it go, I swear!)
I cannot stress enough how much of an IDIOT I’d feel like if I was a Wings fan and was forced to cheer for Osgood.
It’s almost like being a Rangers fan and being forced to cheer for the Rangers.
At least the interwebs can relax about the schedule!
Now they can concentrate on bitching about back-to-back games.
So long Bufflidouchetrocket!
So THAT’S how you pronounce it.
What about the Winter Retread? Did that make this a more exciting series?
Nope. It just reminded me how boring the Winter Retread was.
Zetterberg really does look like a Yeti.
Zetti the Yeti.
So long Bufflidouchetrocket!
Hallelujah to that!
Aw. I just got sad. The last rookie to score in overtime was Jason Pomminville. *tear*
Oh, and Zetters, the game winner in overtime is redundant. An overtime goal is a game winner. This isn’t basketball, dunderhead.
You know what else isn’t making this an exciting series? The “should we touch the trophy” debate.
I am SOOOO with you on that one.
My favorite reason this series is over is that I don’t have to the Chicago goal song again. I feel that now that Chicago is done I can admit my secret — I can’t stand that goal song! I get it’s value as a solid sing-along goal song, and I very much appreciate that it’s not Gary Glitter, but it still gives me the heebie-jeebies. And now I’m freeeeeeee! Wheeeeee!!! ($10 the Devils use it next year and I’m forced to hate all Devils goals.)
Not like last year! :P
(Eventually I’ll let it go, I swear!)
Meh, you can suck it. There were extenuating circumstances. :PPPPP (You were the one cheering for the Caps in this playoffs, and don’t think I’ll let you forget it. Heh.)
The last rookie to score in overtime was Jason Pomminville.
Oooh, now that was an awesome goal!
$10 the Devils use it next year and I’m forced to hate all Devils goals.
I would love to hijack the sound booth for one game. I would play the most random stuff just to see the players’ faces. How do you think Roy-z would react if I started playing the Indigo Girls when he scored? If he scored.
mcguffers, that’s a GREAT idea! I’m going to play Afghan Whigs for Zach to try to get him to seem sexier. That’ll make his game better, I think.
($10 the Devils use it next year and I’m forced to hate all Devils goals.)
Wait, the Devils are going to score goals next year? $10 says they sign a bunch of guys we hate, so we hate all Devils goals anyway. (Butthead, anyone?) :P
My favorite reason this series is over is that I don’t have to the Chicago goal song again.
AMEN!! It’s made me stabby since halfway through the first game of the Canucks/Hawks series. Stupid Hawks ruined a perfectly entertaining band for me. Weiners.
Oooh, now that was an awesome goal!
*sigh* Yeah…
My other favorite was the one last season where Goose wins the faceoff, passes to himself through the other center’s legs, then passes to Pommers who’s standing in front of the net for the goal. It exemplifies why an assist and a goal are both worth a point.
Nine Inch Nails “Closer” is going to be Goose’s song, because I would definitely “f$%# him like an animal.”
(You were the one cheering for the Caps in this playoffs, and don’t think I’ll let you forget it. Heh.)
I guess we’ll just have to agree to not get over these things. :P
Hey, I got the Stars guy to play “Banana Phone” in the arena. I think y’all could get your songs through!
Nine Inch Nails “Closer” is going to be Goose’s song, because I would definitely “f$%# him like an animal.”
I love how you delicately bleep out the “fuck” in there. It’s nice when you consider the fragile sensibilities around here. :P
Hey, I got the Stars guy to play “Banana Phone” in the arena. I think y’all could get your songs through!
If Nolan Pratt can request Hannah Montana, they best not refuse my suggestions.
Schnookie, every so often I try to act like a lady. *burp*
“Closer” sounds more appropriate for Looch. “I want to f$%# you like an animal and then bite your head off!”
Schnookie, every so often I try to act like a lady. *burp*
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I’m glad you do, because I sure don’t. And your occasional bouts of ladylike behavior will be what gets us through the Ice Girl auditions.
“Closer” sounds more appropriate for Looch. “I want to f$%# you like an animal and then bite your head off!”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I think that’s the second verse.
109.
And your occasional bouts of ladylike behavior will be what gets us through the Ice Girl auditions.
You better wear underwear this time!!!
(and why did you comment get numbered when I cut and pasted it?)
My other favorite was the one last season where Goose wins the faceoff, passes to himself through the other center’s legs, then passes to Pommers who’s standing in front of the net for the goal.
mcguffers, thank you for reminding me of that. That was the BEST. Goose and Pommerdoodle were so sneaky about that goal. I loved the “trick play” aspect of that one. I believe that was in one of the hilarious come-from-waaaaaay-behind games against the Lightning.
(and why did you comment get numbered when I cut and pasted it?)
I hate that. It’s like a vestigial reminder of the good old “numbered comments” days, mocking me.
And good morning, everyone! It’s almost the weekend! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy Birthday, Schnookie!
Also, Happy Spelling Bee Day, everyone!
This whole post and the comment thread killed me this morning, guys. :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: and then some.
I like the Blackhawks goal song. Please don’t smother me in my sleep.
And as far as doping goes, I’m just convinced every member of the Stars is a dirty, nasty doper. That way, when someone turns up for doping, I can just go “Eh, oh well,” and then promptly find a way to blame it on Avery.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCHNOOKIE! Yay! I hope someone’s getting you a nice cake and lots of teeny tiny quilt pieces that you can sew or something awesome like that!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I’m 33 and it’s the Spelling Bee today! I’m gonna spend my birthday making fun of kids who are dorkier than I was when I was their age, because that’s what being an adult is all about! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope someone’s getting you a nice cake and lots of teeny tiny quilt pieces that you can sew or something awesome like that!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::: And thanks! No cake (that was this past weekend, and I made brownies last night…), but the presents RAWKED. Pookie got me a new ipod (Flyers orange, natch. :P), and some stuff for the kitchen, and a whole huge stack of gorgeous fabrics. It’s been SUCH a great birthday!
Happy Birthday, Schnookie!
:::Throws Zach and Looch colored confetti in the air:::
Nine Inch Nails “Closer” is going to be Goose’s song, because I would definitely “f$%# him like an animal.”
That would be the best song ever to be played at the Arena. Though I don’t think I’d be able to get the Santino as Tim Gunn version of the song out of my head. It would be even funnier if they played that version instead of the original.
Pookie got me a new ipod (Flyers orange, natch. :P), and some stuff for the kitchen, and a whole huge stack of gorgeous fabrics. It’s been SUCH a great birthday!
Aww, yay! That’s so cool. (They make Flyers orange iPods now?!)
Though I don’t think I’d be able to get the Santino as Tim Gunn version of the song
Wait, what?!
Happy Birthday Schnookie! 33?!?!? Oh God I am so old…
Anyway, I have got my off season Devils Pipe Dream (Pat Pending). The Caps, aside from being awash in PED’s, are now down two enigmatic Russian centers. I say it is time for Lou to try and dump Zubrus off on the Caps! He’s enigmatic! He’s nearly Russian! He had his best years as Ovie’s pivot! His absurd salary would come off of our books! OK, don’t mention that one to McPhee. Still, this one almost make sense. Please hockey Gods, please make this happen. I don’t want to have to go into the next season with a fourth line (Rolston-Zubrus- oh let’s say Clarkson) being paid nealry $10,000,000.00!
Thanks, Amy!
(They make Flyers orange iPods now?!)
I was as surprised as you! And it’s actually just a normal orange, not that heinous, vile Flyers shade of it, but it was a sly little joke on Pookie’s part anyway. We were discussing something about the Flyers back before they were eliminated, and at one point in the conversation Pookie said, “If I were a Flyers fan — WHICH I AM NOT…” So she told me she was considering engraving the ipod “WHICH I AM NOT!” but decided the machine was going to outlive our relationship with the Trannies and just let it go. Heh.
Wait, what?!
During his season of Project Runway, Santino did impressions of Tim Gunn that were eerily accurate. During one episode, Santino sang Closer in the Tim Gunn voice. I think the clip may be on either the Bravo site or YouTube. It’s absolutely hysterical.
I don’t want to have to go into the next season with a fourth line (Rolston-Zubrus- oh let’s say Clarkson) being paid nealry $10,000,000.00!
But… but… whyever not??? :P I actually still like Zubrus, and I have no idea why. It’s not even because he’s hot — I mean, sure he’s easy on the eyes, but when you play like Dainius Zubrus, who cares? But, whatever the reason, I still like him. Although I was as shocked to see him on our roster as I was to see Rolston when we were checking to see if we’d gotten everybody in this post. Whatever little tiny headway I’d made in coming to terms with still liking the Devils went right out the window when I saw both of their names again. And when I saw the big picture of Langer on the “2009-2010 SEASON TICKETS NOW AVAILABLE!” page when I tried to get to the website. It better be a long summer. :P
(Oh, and you know what’s NOT cook today? WordPress has eaten our blogroll. How am I going to do my blog reading today without it?)
WordPress has eaten our blogroll. How am I going to do my blog reading today without it?)
Dude, I do all my hockey blog reading of off y’all’s blogroll too. Shit! WordPress! ::shakes fist at sky::
He’s nearly Russian!
There’s a subtle difference and any Russian-loving folk will tell you they won’t take “nearly Russians”. Hmph.
I think in the hockey world, Belorussians, Ukrainians, or anyone from the former Eastern Bloc are like the Designer Imposter versions of Russians or something.
During one episode, Santino sang Closer in the Tim Gunn voice.
MUST FIND. I’ve watched one season of Project Runway, but I adore Tim Gunn. I want him to be my crazy, fashion-forward uncle!
Sorry to double post, but it’s not an isolated issue. They ate my blogroll too. :(
Somehow WordPress avoided chomping on my blogroll. What the heck is going on?
The -Ookies and I have the same theme. Maybe it’s connected to that?
Dammit! I will NOT give up this theme! First they took my comment numbers, then they took my blogroll… WHAT NEXT????
Hmm. Does your dashboard show the blogroll widget removed?
I will NOT give up this theme! First they took my comment numbers, then they took my blogroll… WHAT NEXT????
DON’T TAKE MY CUSTOM HEADER AWAY FROM ME! ::sobs::
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCHNOOKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My blogroll is gone, too! I can’t log into my dashboard from work though. (Grr.)
This happened once before and then it just reappeared, so I’m hoping it’s just a glitch.
I better not have to find all those again.
I better not have to find all those again.
Shit, I can’t even remember who was ON mine. DAMMIT.
I don’t do the dashboard-widget work around here — that’s Pookie’s job. She was pretty chill about it last night when the blogroll first disappeared, because, like Patty said, it’s glitched out before. I was just expecting to see it fixed today! Honestly, I am NOT changing templates, so if this is a template thing, we’re just going to have to make a separate blogroll page or something. Stupid effin’ WordPress changing the templates after we commit to them! Grrrr…
The very definition of a template is that it stays the same!
Stupid effin’ WordPress changing the templates after we commit to them! Grrrr…
I’m in the process of moving over the blog to the hosted domain, but part of the problem is that I just cannot find a template I like as much as the Misty Sadish, because it has everything I need.
And I keep searching through WP templates for WP.org, but you know, it just isn’t working out.
but part of the problem is that I just cannot find a template I like as much as the Misty Sadish
That’s pretty much the entire reason we didn’t move to SBN when we were invited to.
Schnookie, you know what else I finally realized they changed about this template? You also can’t see tags anymore and you used to be able to see those. Now it’s just categories. Grr.
Happy Birthday, Schnookie!!
WordPress, give her the damn blogroll back, you bastards!!
You also can’t see tags anymore and you used to be able to see those. Now it’s just categories.
We don’t use tags, so… problem solved! I guess I should just not use a blogroll anymore either. :P
And thanks, mcguffers!
(I should mention that I don’t care about the Wings or the Pens, so I’m not entirely sure what I’m hoping the blogosphere would have to offer today. Heh.)
Caitlin, you’re moving over to your own domain? This summer, I might have to pick your brain about that. I have been thinking about that myself. I already have the domain name, but that’s all I know about it.
Ok, I have to give Amy credit for this, because I would have never known to look for this. This video almost made me choke to death… in a good way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vgb5RJJ8y80
Happy Birthday, Schnookie!
Misty Sadish – thats a blog roll porn name if i ever heard one. the only thing this template is missing is the boom-chaka-boom-chaka 70′s porn music.
as far as the Devils doping? its impossible, everyone knows you cant miss PEDs and Kool-Aid.
Ok, why did it do that? It was just supposed to post a link. I’m a dumb ass… sorry!
the only thing this template is missing is the boom-chaka-boom-chaka 70’s porn music.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::: That was the first thing they took away. :P
And mcguffers, no problem about the imbedded video. I HATE that it does that now, but Pookie figured out how to go into the comments and edit the link so it’s just a link. We used to shriek in horror when the videos showed up in our comments and just open a new thread so we didn’t have to look at them, and then we’d just pretend nothing happened. This approach seems much more civilized. Heh.
I already have the domain name, but that’s all I know about it.
WordPress? Is a cinch to move. GoDaddy is the hosting service I have and that was a little difficult to get the platform up and running, but importing everything and all that jazz? A breeze. Aside from fucking with The Best Template in the World, WordPress is awesome.
The site’s already up, actually, I just haven’t forwarded the domain or uploaded the new posts because I hate the theme. Heh.
Pick all you want! Heh.
I don’t care about the Wings or the Pens
Me neither, but I’m starting to care more about Malkin. I know he’s so Play Doh-faced, but after seeing that cooking show, I want Malkin to come hang around in my kitchen. :D
damn my fingers,
i meant MIX PEDs and Kool-Aid
I’m an idiot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdECcI06Lto
I’m afraid of WordPress now, because I just noticed that they auto correct the name in posts/comments so that the “P” is capitalized.
Misty Sadish – thats a blog roll porn name if i ever heard one.
My mistake – it’s actually Mistylook by Sadish. That just sounds like a tacky interior design firm located in a strip mall, though.
This approach seems much more civilized. Heh.
I should take notes. What is this “civilized” you speak of?
(and thanks, Pookie!)
Misty Sadish – thats a blog roll porn name if i ever heard one. the only thing this template is missing is the boom-chaka-boom-chaka 70’s porn music.
and a goat.
I’m afraid of WordPress now, because I just noticed that they auto correct the name in posts/comments so that the “P” is capitalized.
Okay. I don’t like that.
I’m gonna try it, too. wordpress.
i meant MIX PEDs and Kool-Aid
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Of course, goodness only knows what’s in that Kool-Aid. I mean, is it FDA approved? Is it legal? Or should Lou’s Kool-Aid be on the banned substances list?
it’s actually Mistylook by Sadish
Huh. You’re right. I also subconsciously contracted that all down to Misty Sadish. We’re sharing a brain, Caitlin!
I’m gonna try it, too. wordpress.
Oooooh, now you’re in trouble! You’re NEVER going to get your blogroll back now!
Of course, goodness only knows what’s in that Kool-Aid.
It’s not our fault! We got this Kool-Aid at GNC!
I’m gonna try it, too. wordpress.
Hold on, me again. WordPress. I think it does it if you capitalize the W.
We’re sharing a brain, Caitlin!
:^:::::::::::: Fuck it, it’s Misty Sadish. We know this template’s out when we’re not here, working in seedy strip bars, telling patrons it’s working it’s way through med school.
and a goat.
a goat is implied in ALL my posts. along with garden sheers, a turkey baster and a pack of American Spirit Ultra Lights.
We know this template’s out when we’re not here, working in seedy strip bars, telling patrons it’s working it’s way through med school.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: And wait, it’s not true about med school? :P
a goat is implied in ALL my posts. along with garden sheers, a turkey baster and a pack of American Spirit Ultra Lights.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: And it’s the keeping this stuff all implied that gets you through the Saskatoon Airport’s censors. Saskatoon Airport isn’t that great with subtext.
a goat is implied in ALL my posts. along with garden sheers, a turkey baster and a pack of American Spirit Ultra Lights.
Sure you’re not a Habs fan? Or a Hab?
what gave it away? had to be the turkey baster. damn
That just sounds like a tacky interior design firm located in a strip mall, though.
Or even a tacky hair salon set in a strip mall.
what gave it away? had to be the turkey baster. damn
That, and I’ve heard the Canadiens bus has cushions that make women’s clothes fall off.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to mixing PEDs and Kool-Aid!
I’m pretty sure the blogroll should fix itself. I seem to recall wrestling with this for a while the last time it happened. I really, really, really wish we could get our numbered comments back. I’d be all over getting our own domain except for the template and the spam control. And the fact that I don’t remember how to do ftp and all that jazz.
I’d be all over getting our own domain except for the template and the spam control.
Guess what? You still retain Akismet spam controls and everything! Your WordPress dashboard looks exactly the same.
The only thing I had to do that didn’t come standard on the WordPress.org dashboard was the statcounter. That was it. And it’s a plugin that takes 5 seconds to get on there.
And no FTP required.
We know this template’s out when we’re not here, working in seedy strip bars, telling patrons it’s working it’s way through med school.
:^:::::::::::::::
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCHNOOKIE!
Thanks, Mags!
That, and I’ve heard the Canadiens bus has cushions that make women’s clothes fall off.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
And no FTP required.
Wait, wha-huh?!? So it works just like regular WordPress, I just have to make my own css sheet?
Oh, and the blogroll is back. For some reason the widget wasn’t showing up in the sidebar.
So it works just like regular WordPress, I just have to make my own css sheet?
I don’t know about that. Literally all I did was go to Go Daddy, start a database and install WordPress (took me no time at all), then create a login on WordPress.org.
From there, you go to your .com dashboard and there’s an area for you to literally save your blog if you want to move it over. (Export, I believe.) Save to your computer, import your blog and ta-da, it’s there.
And if you go to WordPress.org, you can update from there from then on. At least as I remember it. It’s been a while since I did it, but it was a snap. You can see the 1/8th of a done blog at 1416andcounting.com, if you like.
There’s some tutorials out there on the ‘net that explain it better. If you want custom CSS, I don’t know what to tell you about that – I just found a free theme and uploaded it through the WordPress.org dashboard.
That, and I’ve heard the Canadiens bus has cushions that make women’s clothes fall off.
:^:::::::::::: I’m almost curious enough to investigate. Almost.
Oh, and the blogroll is back.
Victory!
Oooh, it looks great, Caitlin! I actually think that template really fits what you’ve got going on at 1416. It’s no Misty Sadish but if you can’t fight city hall, you can’t fight city hall.
It’s no Misty Sadish but if you can’t fight city hall, you can’t fight city hall.
I know. The only problems I’m having are that the text doesn’t format properly and every single one of my photos magically right-aligned in the move. The hell!
Oooh, the new 1416 looks great!
Thanks, guys!
Happy Birthday, Schnookie!
Thanks Meg!
Hey, happy birthday Schnookie!
I offer you a symphony of hand-made vegetable instruments:
click click click
Ok, I was just passing by, now I’m off to a friend’s birthday. I’ll drink in your honor!
Thanks so much, Grrrreg! Please do get delightfully drunk! :D
I promise I will! bye bye!
Happy birthday Schnookie, remember it could be worse and you could be as old as me! Making fun of spelling bee nerds sounds like fun, I may do that tonight too (it’s even more fun because I was one, although my career went downhill once I turned 10).
It’s too early to talk about UFA status on players, right? Right?!
Someone tell me it is. ::huffs into paper bag::
Please do get delightfully drunk! :D
Yes, have one for me. I have to make a special trip to the liquor store Friday, seeing how I’m out and the cities around me are dry as a bone.
Thanks, Mike! (I think I’m bitter about spellers because I never had a chance to try it. The one time my elementary school did a spelling bee, I was home sick that day. I’m sure I would have had a great career at it, too…)
I’m sure I would have had a great career at it, too…)
I am sure you would have beat me and frankly, I won one by accident.
I won my school spelling bee (easy to do when you’re only up against 40 kids) but bombed out on the Buffalo News quiz to move onto the regional bee that determined who went to the national one.
And I still love that Gaustad was nerding out over the spelling bee before game seven of the EC Finals against Carolina a couple of years ago.
And I still love that Gaustad was nerding out over the spelling bee before game seven of the EC Finals against Carolina a couple of years ago.
For real? Hmm, that animal thing is making more and more sense.
For real? Hmm, that animal thing is making more and more sense.
For reals. I had forgotten about it until Bucky brought it up during his chat today.
Happy Birfday to YOU! Schnookie!
Thanks so much, Carol!