Dearest Diary,
I did not receive a card from you today, Diary, so I believe it is safe to assume that you have forgotten it is my birthday. It is an understandable mistake, as Boxworthy assures me I do not look a day over 13. I take that as a compliment. It must be hard for you to believe that I am now a strapping young man of something-more-than-13.
I shall confess to you here, Diary, as you are a trusted secret-keeping bosom friend, that I have one specific wish for my day. What I should love above all things is a new Travis.
A robot Travis.
The human Travis has not panned out, Diary. He keeps insisting he is Batman, not Robin. He does things like get married. And he beats me at cribbage.
My robot Travis will be programmed to not be as good as me, Diary. He will be so much more fun than human Travis, I just know it!
Happy birthday to me! My life with my new robot roommate, linemate and Robin is going to be so grand. It is ever so wonderful being older than 13.
Warmest birthday wishes to me,
Zachary Parise
