Dearest Diary,
I did not receive a card from you today, Diary, so I believe it is safe to assume that you have forgotten it is my birthday. It is an understandable mistake, as Boxworthy assures me I do not look a day over 13. I take that as a compliment. It must be hard for you to believe that I am now a strapping young man of something-more-than-13.
I shall confess to you here, Diary, as you are a trusted secret-keeping bosom friend, that I have one specific wish for my day. What I should love above all things is a new Travis.
A robot Travis.
The human Travis has not panned out, Diary. He keeps insisting he is Batman, not Robin. He does things like get married. And he beats me at cribbage.
My robot Travis will be programmed to not be as good as me, Diary. He will be so much more fun than human Travis, I just know it!
Happy birthday to me! My life with my new robot roommate, linemate and Robin is going to be so grand. It is ever so wonderful being older than 13.
Warmest birthday wishes to me,
Zachary Parise
I’m loving Robot Travis! I also wanted to inform you that last weekend I drove from North Jersey, and noticed that Hydro-Pruf is now just: ” DRO – P U “
Oh my god! The “HY” is gone now too?!? Fiche has really let the place go.
i like to think that the robot is also a center and has a booming right handed shot and can play the right point on the power play :D
i like to think that the robot is also a center and has a booming right handed shot and can play the right point on the power play
HAHAHAHA! No, Zach didn’t consider those character traits. He just wanted someone to be Robin and suck at cribbage. But maybe there’s someone in the Devils organization with enough robotics know-how to program all that stuff? HAHAHAHAHA! Who am I kidding? Heh.
don, that robot would be the best PP pointman ever, but we’ll never know because Lemaire’s BFF Rolston is going to make sure RobotTravis rides the pine all season.
but we’ll never know because Lemaire’s BFF Rolston is going to make sure RobotTravis rides the pine all season.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Dammit! I hate Rolston! :P
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At least Zach knows what he needs. He’s not going to piddle around trying to find a human that meets his requirements.
Won’t Lemaire make robots out of the players he already has?
Won’t Lemaire make robots out of the players he already has?
Heh heh. Yes he will, but they won’t be interesting robots like RobotTravis. No, he makes them into snoozy robots that suck. RobotTravis would be willing to leave his quadrant to move his cribbage pegs around like chess pieces, but a Lemaire-created robot would never dream of doing anything so spicy.
He’s not going to piddle around trying to find a human that meets his requirements.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Zach: “I say, Boxworthy, but I think I’ve had it with piddling around trying to find human companionship. It is time for a robot, man!”
And good morning, y’all!
Won’t Lemaire make robots out of the players he already has?
I think one of the training staff that was employed during his first go-round w/the team was a massage therapist and also something like a hypno-therapist. That was the secrect, I’m convinced of it. It was supposed to make you concentrate better, but it was to make them obey Lemaire.
It must have been after he left that Lou turned to the Kool-Aid.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I love Robot Travis.
But I have bad news for Zach. Robots need love too. There is no way a robot as fetching as Robot Travis won’t find a lady robot to marry sooner or later. I mean, he plays chess! Robot Travis is a catch!
Robot Travis is a catch!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Robot ladies also love that they can literally see the gears moving inside his brain as he thinks.
Robot ladies also love that they can literally see the gears moving inside his brain as he thinks.
Exactly. Modern robots are so slick and cold looking. Robot bachelors think Robot ladies want that mystery and technology, but really all a lady robot wants is a robot who treat her right. It’s comforting to see the gears.
We have a few robot players over here already. They seem decent enough, until you download the program “contract extension”. Then they develop a virus which causes them to crash. (ex. Robot Pommers)
but really all a lady robot wants is a robot who treat her right.
with a nice bottle of multi-weight oil and a pinch to her under-carriage now and then?
Robot Travis’s arms are a bit short for under-carriage pinching, but it’s the gear-spinning thought that counts!
Robot bachelors think Robot ladies want that mystery and technology, but really all a lady robot wants is a robot who treat her right. It’s comforting to see the gears.
with a nice bottle of multi-weight oil and a pinch to her under-carriage now and then?
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Robot ladies send mixed signals about the under-carriage pinching. Sometimes it’s welcome, other times it’s just fresh. It’s a tough world for robots to navigate.
Perhaps robot travis would be more useful in fights too!
I saw this picture this morning: http://i37.tinypic.com/jkazv5.jpg
Ha! Always with the fake mustaches!
Ugh. I am SO bored today! I’m trying to tell myself that doesn’t make me special, though. I mean, everyone’s bored, right?
Robot ladies send mixed signals about the under-carriage pinching. Sometimes it’s welcome, other times it’s just fresh. It’s a tough world for robots to navigate.
Especially since a lady robot would never want to be seen as a floozy robot.
Especially since a lady robot would never want to be seen as a floozy robot.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Seriously! A lady robot’s reputation is all she’s got!
Seriously! A lady robot’s reputation is all she’s got!
Well, that and what she’s worth in the spare robot parts market.
Well, that and what she’s worth in the spare robot parts market.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I suppose that sounds rough, but at least a lady robot can always just blue book herself to get a bead on what her self worth should be.
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To everything! Robot Travis is a winner. I bet he gives motorized robotacorns to his robot lady friend.
“Motorized robotacorns”, eh? So that’s what the kids are calling it these days.
I saw this picture this morning: http://i37.tinypic.com/jkazv5.jpg
WTF?
I fucking HATE mimes.
Carol, :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Even mimes who are Travis underneath it all? :D
So, is anyone around today? Anyone having a fun Thursday? I have to say, I’ve been getting my cheap hockey thrills today by reading up on the rumors and innuendo coming out about Heatley’s trade request. Good times!
Sigh.
Anyone having a fun Thursday?
Heavens no. I’ve decided I’m never going on vacation again. It’s almost 1pm and I still haven’t made it through 3 days of emails.
My cheap hockey thrill (and most nonsensical one) was reading that the reason Staffy hasn’t signed with the Sabres is that there’s a bouncing baby Staffy that’s either just arrived or is due to arrive any day now. I read it on a message board, so I don’t even know if it’s worth the bandwidth it appears on. What a baby has to do with a contract, I do not know.
Oooh, coming back from vacation BLOWS! I’m so sorry, Amy! I actually have a friend here who refuses to go away for any significant blocks of time, just because she so hates having a full inbox when she gets back. That… seems like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Heh. (Did you have a good time in Michigan, though?)
And I have to agree — a wee baby Staffy doesn’t really seem like a valid reason for not signing a contract. But hey, who am I to judge the logic behind either message board posters or Staffy’s own decision-making paradigms? :P
Good Grief, I’m soooo bored. My chocolate consumption has tripled.
Did Patty tell y’all we ordered our season tickets yesterday?!?! 11 games of Myra and Patty together. The Stars won’t know what hit them.
Did you have a good time in Michigan, though?
I really did. I’m still kind of in awe of the senior citizen couple in the hotel’s beer garden that was doing the Electric Slide to the oom-pa-pa band’s version of the Oak Ridge Boys “Elvira.”
I am so excited for your season tickets, Myra! You guys are going to have such a good time! (And yeah, the Stars are going to be like, “I’m sorry, but you’re not allowed to sit together anymore.” :P)
And I’m also so bored that I’m not even willing to do the modest collection of tasks I’ve set for myself today. It’s terrible.
Staffy hasn’t signed with the Sabres is that there’s a bouncing baby Staffy that’s either just arrived or is due to arrive any day now.
Uh, I thought the Hooters in Amherst was gone.
Congratulations, Myra! And boooo to coming back from vacation, Amy! :^:::::::::::::::: to you, mcguffers! (Although, now that I think about, Staffy was kind of a classic example of Hooters Baby this past seasons…)
As for my day, it’s been one nightmare after another. But hey, as one angry (and very delusional) customer just told me, “Channel 12 will know all about [what he thinks we did, but never actually happened].” Thank goodness!
Oh! Good Heavens, Pookie! That sounds a little creepie.
But then Channel 12 does know all. So you better not be messing with them!
Wow. Zubie’s going to Russia.
But then Channel 12 does know all. So you better not be messing with them!
Word.
Actually, Channel 12 where I am is Lifetime…I can’t wait for the Lifetime Special Event movie that exposes the dastardly goings-on at Pookie’s library.
Although, now that I think about, Staffy was kind of a classic example of Hooters Baby this past seasons…
Half the team is probably in the same lamaze class.
Pookie, my mind is coming up with all sorts of things this guy could be so mad at. I bet you guys sold his kidney on the black market. That would piss me off.
Speaking of pissing me off, I just had to go out and protect my cat from my neighbor’s chocolate lab. I LOVE dogs. I do NOT LOVE dog owners who keep their dogs in pens and only use them for breeding purposes. This dog is absolutely beautiful and just wants to play. Unfortunately, Joey’s just a bit too small for him.
Channel 12 where I am is Lifetime…I can’t wait for the Lifetime Special Event movie that exposes the dastardly goings-on at Pookie’s library.
Channel 12 for me is CFTO out of Toronto. I wonder if the goings on at your library will carry across the border?
Half the team is probably in the same lamaze class.
And heaven forbid if they don’t whip themselves back into their pre-Hooters baby shape right after giving birth. Crunchy’s wonky eyebrow will be shooting daggers at them in the locker room.
I can’t wait for the Lifetime Special Event movie that exposes the dastardly goings-on at Pookie’s library.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: As long as I’m played by Kellie Martin, I’m cool with it! (Wasn’t she on Lifetime? I’ve never actually watched anything on that channel.) And yes, it’s definitely a cross-border scandal! I mean, a guy wants help with a website that requires specific information only he can provide. If he doesn’t give us that information, we can’t help him. He… doesn’t give us that information. We can’t help him. CALL CHANNEL 12! That’s right, you heard me, Lifetime in Toronto, GET THEM ON THE LINE!!!
11 games of Myra and Patty together. The Stars won’t know what hit them.
WOOOOOOOOOOO!!
I can’t wait for the Lifetime Special Event movie that exposes the dastardly goings-on at Pookie’s library.
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