So we’ve noticed something kind of troubling around stately IPB Manor the last few days, namely, that our NHL Network was not coming in on DirecTV in HD. Of course, we’ve been too busy watching Versus on our cable to really care, but tonight push finally came to shove and we had to engage in that most unfortunate pastime, trying to talk to someone at DirecTV. After much sitting on hold, and being told by the voice-response menu that our answers weren’t making sense, we found out that the problem was — and this is a direct quote — that our SuperFan status was inactive. Gentle Reader, we were gobsmacked! How could we be considered inactive SuperFans? Sure, we’re down on the Devils a bit, but we’ve never been so psyched for a hockey season! In fact, we’re such super SuperFans that we’re going to go on the record to say this:
We love naked Zdeno Chara.
Yeah, you heard us. We love him. All bicepy and hairy and naked and Zdeno-y and delicately shaded… we love him. LOVE HIM. And we think everyone should love him.
We know what you’re thinking, Gentle Reader. You’re thinking, “Ew! Naked Zdeno Chara is so not my thing! How could anyone love that??” But that’s the kind of thinking that makes a SuperFan inactive. No, we all need to support naked Zdeno Chara, because the more praise he gets for being naked, the more inclined other NHLers will be to be naked too. And what the world needs more of is naked NHLers. All kinds of them, because there are all kinds of fans. There are fans who like obvious naked NHLers like Vinny Lecavalier, Paul Gaustad, or Zach Parise. And there are fans who like slightly more divisive naked NHLers like Mike Komisarek, Milan Lucic, or Sid Crosby. And there are fans who are crazy and like naked NHLers like Alexander Ovechkin, Dion Phaneuf, or Scott Gomez. And there are fans who are SuperDuper who like naked NHLers like Ryan Getzlaf. Rawr! And wouldn’t the world be a better place for all of those fans to be able to enjoy their favorite bicepy, hairy, and delicately-shaded naked NHLers? What we’re saying is that we’re not just thinking about ourselves — we’re thinking about all the fans.
So join us, will you, in creating a better world by supporting naked Zdeno Chara. Because we’re Super that way.
I’d be willing to go along with this logic if I could be insured nakedness from Komi, Goose, Zach, Vinnnnah, Pretty Eyes Pyatt, and Malibu Ken Farter. But how can you be so sure that Ruutu, Tim Tom, MOPEY (my new nickname for Phaneuf the “Most Overrated Player Evah, Yo”) and Soupy won’t get in on the act?
Oh and :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to this post!
Well, I think the whole point is that there would be plenty of naked NHLers we’d rather not see, but in the spirit of naked Zdeno Chara-esque open-mindedness, I will admit that there are probably crazy people out there in the world who do want to see naked Mopey. (*shudder*) But I can’t imagine a world where we’d ONLY get naked Mopey. I mean, for each naked Mopey, surely there would be a naked Looch. (Wait, that’s not helping, is it? :P)
Malibu Ken Farter! :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Wait, that’s not helping, is it? :P
*silently shakes head*
Oh and I like the “YOU like Canadian teams.” heh.
Oh and I like the “YOU like Canadian teams.” heh.
Heh heh. There’s really no accounting for taste. :P
But how can you be so sure that Ruutu, Tim Tom, MOPEY (my new nickname for Phaneuf the “Most Overrated Player Evah, Yo”) and Soupy won’t get in on the act?
I think it’s important to keep perspective, here. Worst case scenario, if every player in the NHL gets naked, we get some butterfaces. I’m not saying I want to see a naked Soupy (arg! blech! heave!), but I suspect my ovaries aren’t so discerning that any NHL body wouldn’t cause them to melt. They’re easy that way.
I’m totally behind this campaign, Ookies! *Commences cutting out paper bag-shaped stickers of all shapes and sizes.*
Oh, and Mopey? :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*Commences cutting out paper bag-shaped stickers of all shapes and sizes.*
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I suspect my ovaries aren’t so discerning that any NHL body wouldn’t cause them to melt.
Exactly. It just hockey player.
There’s really no accounting for taste. :P
Who’s your Tranny? The Flyers? Oh, right right.
Kettle! :P
*Commences cutting out paper bag-shaped stickers of all shapes and sizes.*
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I suspect my ovaries aren’t so discerning that any NHL body wouldn’t cause them to melt. They’re easy that way.
Hear hear! It’s so true. I mean, I hope my ovaries draw the line at, like, Soupy, but who knows? My ovaries probably aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed. :P
Who’s your Tranny? The Flyers? Oh, right right.
Kettle! :P
Heh heh heh. And who’s my PRIMARY team? I know I’m living in a glass house. :D
I mean, I hope my ovaries draw the line at, like, Soupy, but who knows? My ovaries probably aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed. :P
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I’ve let my ovaries get hit with a few too many lacrosse balls. They’re pissed. As is reflected by my exes.
And who’s my PRIMARY team? I know I’m living in a glass house. :D
But at least we don’t like the Rangers! *fist bump*
I hope my ovaries draw the line at, like, Soupy,
Maybe he’ll do our ovaries a favor and be, like, all hyperhydrosis-y and everything.
Leave it to Soupy to make me think of a situation where not melting my ovaries is doing me a favor.
But at least we don’t like the Rangers! *fist bump*
Oh yeah!
Leave it to Soupy to make me think of a situation where not melting my ovaries is doing me a favor.
He’s talented in that regard. He makes my ovaries do a 180 spin-o-rama right out the door.
I’ve let my ovaries get hit with a few too many lacrosse balls. They’re pissed. As is reflected by my exes.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
But at least we don’t like the Rangers! *fist bump*
Word. *Big, Chara-sized fist bump*
Maybe he’ll do our ovaries a favor and be, like, all hyperhydrosis-y and everything.
Well, how could he NOT be hyperhydrosisy? Isn’t Hyperhydrosis his middle name?
He makes my ovaries do a 180 spin-o-rama right out the door.
Except unlike Soupy’s spinaramas, your ovaries’ spinarama is not at all unnecessary.
And there are fans who like slightly more divisive naked NHLers like Mike Komisarek, Milan Lucic, or Sid Crosby.
I’d be willing to look at Sid naked. For the good of hockey fans everywhere.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::to everything!
I loved it all! And I really do quite enjoy the naked Zdeno Chara including his hairyness, not inspite of it. I was all prepared to have to make a lengthy comment about how all you youngsters came of age after sexy men became hairless and therefore don’t know what you have been missing.
Sigh…..Oh, sorry, I drifted off there. Needless to say, I fully support your campaign. (I’m so two-faced. I threw away this year’s SI swimsuit issue before Hub could even see it. And I almost posted this comment under Hub’s sign in, now that would have been funny.)
And :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to all-a y’all.
He makes my ovaries do a 180 spin-o-rama right out the door.
Except unlike Soupy’s spinaramas, your ovaries’ spinarama is not at all unnecessary.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
My ovaries have started excessively sweating from the thought of his nakedness. And not in a good way.
And I almost posted this comment under Hub’s sign in, now that would have been funny.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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We’d just blame alix’s influence
Well, how could he NOT be hyperhydrosisy? Isn’t Hyperhydrosis his middle name?
True. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I hope my ovaries draw the line at hyperhydrosisy. (Have some decency, dudes!)
I have to say, I’ve spent the whole time watching the Pens/Coyotes going “Whoa, [he] plays for Phoenix?” I suspect that’s because I’ve never bothered to know who plays for Phoenix. (And I’ll probably do this all over again tomorrow, because I’m pretty sure I’m still not paying attention.)
Woooo! Yotes!
For the good of hockey fans everywhere.
Exactly! It’s a sacrifice, but one I think most of us are willing to make. :D
I was all prepared to have to make a lengthy comment about how all you youngsters came of age after sexy men became hairless and therefore don’t know what you have been missing.
Myra, my original movie-star crush was Alec Baldwin. I loves me some body hair. Heh.
And I almost posted this comment under Hub’s sign in, now that would have been funny.
We all know that Hub likes Zdeno’s body hair, too. It has universal appeal. :P
My ovaries have started excessively sweating from the thought of his nakedness. And not in a good way.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Gambler, we play the Coyotes all the time, and I still only know Doan and Yandle off the top of my head. Everybody else is a surprise.
We’d just blame alix’s influence
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Gambler, there is going to be a test after this game about the Coyotes roster, so you better be paying attention! :P
You guys are all making me :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: faster than I can type!
You guys are all making me :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: faster than I can type!
I’m having that problem too. CLEARLY naked NHLers are a GOOD thing.
Wow. The Pens look TERRIBLE. And the Coyotes look so CUTE! :D
I was all prepared to have to make a lengthy comment about how all you youngsters came of age after sexy men became hairless and therefore don’t know what you have been missing.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I so wish you’d posted that as Hub! As for the SI swimsuit issue, I went two years of college before realizing that I could request that they not send me that issue. The first library I worked at kept it at the reference desk so it wouldn’t get stolen. Which meant seeing it every time you went to the drawer for extra office supplies. Nice.
My ovaries have started excessively sweating from the thought of his nakedness.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I have to say, I’ve spent the whole time watching the Pens/Coyotes going “Whoa, [he] plays for Phoenix?” I suspect that’s because I’ve never bothered to know who plays for Phoenix.
I don’t have the right national security clearance to view this game so it’ll all be a surprise tomorrow night!
Oh, and I was sort of joking about “I DIdn’t Know I Was Pregnant” but apparently they’re running a marathon. There are a lot of unknowingly pregnant women out there!
Timmy C: “You’re Weeellllllcome!”
(That’s my new “That’sWhatSheSaid”)
Timmy C: “You’re Weeellllllcome!”
(That’s my new “That’sWhatSheSaid”)
Something tells me the : and ^ buttons are going to break off my keyboard tonight.
Timmy C: “You’re Weeellllllcome!”
(That’s my new “That’sWhatSheSaid”)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
And as for the game, all you’re missing is the borderline unwatchably bad Pens announcers. Their broadcasts are vomitously awful. (And they don’t give us very many closeups of Coyotes.)
CLEARLY naked NHLers are a GOOD thing.
CLEARLY!!!!
And I haven’t snorted this much milk in a long time.
On a sad note, I’m not watching the game because I don’t have NHL Network. I have Versus and I have Center Ice but nooooooooo NHL Network. So no puppydog faced Tipp or Crosby thighs or Pretty eyed Pyatt. (Turns out Pyatt isn’t playing anyway, according to the roster.)
Curses Verizon Fios and NHL Network.
Seriously, Myra, you’re better off not watching this broadcast. I was thinking at the beginning of the game that all the players were skating at half speed but then I realized it was just because Steigerwald was announcing the game as if it were a funeral for molasses going uphill in the Thousand Islands.
And I haven’t snorted this much milk in a long time.
I can’t decide if that sounds like the not-at-all-dirty behavior Sid would engage in at a party, or the way-dirtier-than-it-really-sounds behavior Timmy would.
Their broadcasts are vomitously awful
My favorite part of the game so far is when the Pens announcers praised the Pens’ fans for being “the best fans in the league,” citing the “wonderful love affair they’re having with their team right now.” I’m not going to get too upset about it, because it’s just a bit of harmless homerism, but, dude, if you can’t have a love affair with your team in the second or third game after winning the Cup, you’re in desperate need of aphrodisiacs.
as if it were a funeral for molasses going uphill in the Thousand Islands.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: And don’t forget what homers they are. Since the Pens are skating like a team that knows it’s the Stanley Cup champs facing off against a team that was in bankruptcy court until last week, and the Pens announcers don’t waste their breath saying anything bad about their team, they’ve not had much to say at all. It’s a strangely quiet game. Heh.
dude, if you can’t have a love affair with your team in the second or third game after winning the Cup, you’re in desperate need of aphrodisiacs.
I know! Like, wow. Way to support the Superbowl and Stanley Cup champs, Pittsburgh. You guys are so much more impressive than any other sports town.
I realized it was just because Steigerwald was announcing the game as if it were a funeral for molasses going uphill in the Thousand Islands.
I can’t decide if that sounds like the not-at-all-dirty behavior Sid would engage in at a party, or the way-dirtier-than-it-really-sounds behavior Timmy would.
Okay, I’m taking a break before my nose explodes from all the :^::::::::::::::::::::: I’ll just check in later when I can get it over with in one fell swoop. (That’s it, IPB, you’re driving people away! You’ve finally gotten too funny for your own good.)
And I haven’t snorted this much milk in a long time.
I can’t decide if that sounds like the not-at-all-dirty behavior Sid would engage in at a party, or the way-dirtier-than-it-really-sounds behavior Timmy would.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
That motor-boating bastard!
You’ve finally gotten too funny for your own good.
Noooooo! Naked Zdeno Chara made me do it!
That’s it, IPB, you’re driving people away!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :D (When you come back, Gambler, I’ve been meaning to ask how like after college is treating you!)
Their broadcasts are vomitously awful.
I was just about to say the same thing. Only much less well.
Is that a Pittsburgh thing where they use the name of the person they talk to at least twice in each sentence? If I were Staggy I’d have jumped off a bridge by now.
(Staggy probably likes hearing his name 1000 times during a period.)
That motor-boating bastard!
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dude, if you can’t have a love affair with your team in the second or third game after winning the Cup, you’re in desperate need of aphrodisiacs.
Way to support the Superbowl and Stanley Cup champs, Pittsburgh. You guys are so much more impressive than any other sports town.
This is why the city of Buffalo just collectively grits their teeth.
I realized it was just because Steigerwald was announcing the game as if it were a funeral for molasses going uphill in the Thousand Islands.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: So it must be riveting!
(Staggy probably likes hearing his name 1000 times during a period.)
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Yeah, they really are the most self-congratulatory broadcast team. It’s always all about them! :P
So it must be riveting!
That, or incestuous and cannibalistic.
I realized it was just because Steigerwald was announcing the game as if it were a funeral for molasses going uphill in the Thousand Islands.
Wait! Is he saying STY-ggy?!!
Myra, I’m so sorry you can’t see this game! I wondered about that. You should take a quick nap so you can watch the late game on CI.
Wait! Is he saying STY-ggy?!!
Yeah, he is. Steigerwald. Either way, Sty-ggy or Sta-ggy, I want to kill myself from listening to them. I need to think happier thoughts — like of naked Zdeno Chara! :P
mcguggs internal thoughts: Hmmm, let’s check on the Fire Clowns… Ooh, Doan! An assist. How nice of you. We just need 35 more to catch up with The Two Oranges. Who did you assis… Jovo?? Seriously?? Her? WTF.
Wait! Is he saying STY-ggy?!!
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:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: *GASP* :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Sweet slutty Luongo this is all amazing!
I don’t understand these Canadian accents. :P
The (Not) Optimisticks have 3 players in this game and they’re all Pens. Yet I’m rooting for the Coyotes to shut him out. I think the fantasy games should include coaches.
Patty, I took an early nap so I could watch both. :(
Oh well. There are plenty more games to come!
Did y’all see that the Stars are going to give free tickets to anyone who attended the home opener because of Razor’s guaranteed win comments?
Ooh, Doan! An assist. How nice of you. We just need 35 more to catch up with The Two Oranges. Who did you assis… Jovo?? Seriously?? Her? WTF.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I was not in the room when Jovo scored, so I just heard about it through the grapevine. I’m looking smarter and smarter for autodrafting him. I wish he’d not accept passes from Doan, though…
Sweet slutty Luongo this is all amazing!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I’m so glad you’re here, alix! It’s just not a discussion of naked NHLers without you!
Whoa! Aucoin plays for the Coyotes?!
The Pens look terrible!
Whoa! Aucoin plays for the Coyotes?!
I was fairly confident that was a different Aucoin, but I guess it wasn’t. Huh. Who knew?
I wish he’d not accept passes from Doan, though…
I’m sure they were both shocked as well.
I need Smiley Twin to get a hat trick tonight, and get assists for his own goals.
And seriously, Fire Clowns? -10? Maybe we could score some goals instead of letting them get scored on us. Just sayin.
I’m so glad you’re here, alix! It’s just not a discussion of naked NHLers without you!</i<
Soooooo true! Hahahaha.
I need Smiley Twin to get a hat trick tonight, and get assists for his own goals.
Not going to happen. The Canucks are in a tornado of suckitude right now. Luongo even admitted this morning that they’re in panic mode. (LOL! What a spectacular choice for captain) On the bright side, at least they’re getting it over with now.
Luongo even admitted this morning that they’re in panic mode.
Grreeeeeaaattt. Maybe Ryanĕ Clowэ will pick up the slack.
(LOL! What a spectacular choice for captain)
Soooo… you guys don’t want Langenbrunner, eh?
On the bright side, at least they’re getting it over with now.
Isn’t that what Habs fans were saying all last season? :P
Ok, this is my family tonight. Kid is playing “Tap, Tap, Revenge” on her iPod on one end of the sofa. Hub is reading a book on the other end. We have Mythbusters on the TV. I’m listening to a Podcast on Defending Big D while having a stream of the Pitt/Yotes game up on a split screen with IPB.
At least we are all in the same room together.
Oooh, Ryaneee Cloweee has gotten himself some fancy Es there!
At least we are all in the same room together.
What a sweet family vignette!
You found it online? Cool! Unfortch, not a lot of Coyote Closeups, eh?
The family that enjoys the wonders of technology (the printing press counts, right?) together, stays together!
Nope, but just had one of Tipp and they are about to win 3-0?!? Who’da thunk it?
WOOOOOOOOOOO!! Dave Tippett is 2-0!
The Pens weren’t even trying. They read too much Puck Daddy and thought the Coyotes sucked.
At least we are all in the same room together.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Yeah, we’re always sitting together tip-tapping away on our own laptops. Having conversations in gmail and on IPB instead of actually speaking. Heh.
And wow. That was NOT what I expected from the Coyotes/Pens game. Mwa ha ha.
Isn’t that what Habs fans were saying all last season? :P
You’ll also notice that the Habs organIzation is considering this season part of their centennial as well. And technically, they are correct because we are still in 2009, but I think that’s just as shady as my mom telling people she’s 39 years and 132 months old.
I’m having fun with Character Map for Double Ez.
but I think that’s just as shady as my mom telling people she’s 39 years and 132 months old.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Double Ez! HAHAHAHAHAHA! LOVE IT!
Have I mentioned how much I like having Center Ice….today? :)
Why no, Myra, I had no idea! :D
So instead of watching hockey, I’ve been watching a youtube video of a crazy woman teaching how to massage cats. I think hockey would be more enjoyable if I had my cat and I was getting a massage.
I think hockey would be more enjoyable if I had my cat and I was getting a massage.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: We’re watching ANTM, one of the few shows ever created that actually can’t be improved, not even by cats or massages.
We’re watching ANTM, one of the few shows ever created that actually can’t be improved, not even by cats or massages.
Why does that actually sound like an episode of ANTM?
It does, doesn’t it? Cats, massages, and Benny Ninja. Woo-hoo!
And on that note, good night!
Good night, Pookie. It’s been a milk snortin good time!
You know what’s really cool about CI, Myra? James Duthie.
Good night, Pookie!
Oh, it’s good night already? I wanted to bring up the prospect of naked Bobby Holik’s unibrow. Which was all the time. It haunts you like Chara’s bizarrely shaven armpits.
Woohoo! It’s nice to be on this side of the crazy high score at this point. It’s a nice change and just in time for us to see them in all their glory at the free open practice this weekend. Awesome.
Meanwhile, when I did a search of Zdeno Chara naked, I got a photo of Lurch from the Addams Family. A little disappointing.
For the record, I’m all for more nekkid nhler’s.
Uh, remember earlier when I was joking about how crappy my fantasy team is and how Hank Sedin needed to score 56 goals? My sarcasm apparently antagonized the hockey gods. *sighs heavily* Sorry Grrrreg. Sorry Price. I’m going back to bed. :(
*half-heartedly throws Luongo colored confetti for alix and carol*
So, have you guys seen the other NHLers featured in the Body Issue?
http://twitpic.com/koii0
Good news! Found the naked Chara photo. SNORT!
I think that if there’s no penis showing, it doesn’t really count. I’m classy that way.
And Mike wants you all to see this one again- http://people.smu.edu/aganders/images/2605064082564mark-messier-gary-coleman.jpg
Hello IPB!
Wow, you guys were on fire yesterday… (just like the habs defense)
Although, after reading all this, I have to confess I might not be a SuperFan after all. Naked Chara clearly did not provoke the same feelings for me. And if it’s just the start of a trend involving more naked NHLers (including those who make me want to puke even when they have clothes on), I might just have to stop following hockey and start a blog about women’s volleyball or something.
When I think of it, it’s pretty insane that I don’t watch more women sports. I’m really missing out on all the ‘taking a player behind the barn’ thing!
I think that if there’s no penis showing, it doesn’t really count.
Oh please God don’t ever let this happen.
While I cannot support Naked Chara, I can support the *idea* of Naked Chara. And I do admire his chutzpah for doing this, knowing that he’s going to most likely be ridiculed for posing in his birthday suit.
All this talk makes me wish the Sabres still did the locker room cam during intermissions. The last 30-45 seconds before a commercial break would be the locker room cam. Most of the time it was boring, with the players just sitting there in their Underarmour taping sticks or throwing tape balls at each other. But occasionally, you got someone coming out of the can half naked. And it was nice.
If there’s no chutzpah showing, it doesn’t really count.
I love the locker room cam, too, Amy! I wish the Devils did that, so I could see the coaches throwing garbage cans at the players’ heads when they play poorly. Just think, this season I could get 82 games worth of garbage can tossing!
Good morning, everyone! I’m so glad to see we have such enthusiasm for embracing a world full of more naked hockey players, except from some of our stuffy, puritan European contingent. Grrrreg, I expected more from you, being French and all! :P
And I love locker room cams! They never show anything interesting, but I can’t tear my eyes away either. More locker room cam!
I think that if there’s no penis showing, it doesn’t really count. I’m classy that way.
Carol, you are ALL class. Heh.
Oh, and I just noticed this (I’m being a bit of a slow starter this morning):
If there’s no chutzpah showing, it doesn’t really count.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
So, have you guys seen the other NHLers featured in the Body Issue?
The way Souray’s jersey is behind him, it makes him look like he has horns. Or he might just have horns. I like Souray and all, but I wouldn’t be surprised.
I’m so glad to see we have such enthusiasm for embracing a world full of more naked hockey players, except from some of our stuffy, puritan European contingent. Grrrreg, I expected more from you, being French and all! :P
Heh, if Alix doesn’t want to be the puritan one, someone’s gotta do it! :P
Heh, if Alix doesn’t want to be the puritan one, someone’s gotta do it!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, we got it ALL wrong when we picked her to be our resident puritan.
Well, I didn’t make it back until the morning, but I’m predictably :^:::::::::::::::::::::ing my morning coffee anyway. (Ouch!) Everyone was on fire last night. Congratulatory back-pats all around!
When you come back, Gambler, I’ve been meaning to ask how like after college is treating you!
It’s treating me okay, Pookie. I’m sticking around the Twin Cities for now, in a cool apartment in a great part of Saint Paul. The huge and gorgeous cathedral is literally right outside my window, and I’m a ten minute walk from the Xcel Center. Here’s hoping I’ll get to take advantage of that, even though the Sabres aren’t coming here this season. Other than that, after I successfully blew through all my graduation cash I’ve now entered the wonderful, new world of semi-employment that most 2009 grads are in. But I just got semi-employed at a job that kind of requires me to use my degree (well, it requires me to speak German, anyway), so that’s a plus!
Oh, and I was going to say I was pleased the Canucks turned it around last night, but then my sister just IMed me “epic fail, Carey Price.” Look who I forgot was on my fantasy team. Whoops.
I know who wouldn’t support Naked Chara, Brian Gionta. ‘Cause where Gio would come up to on Naked Chara and all.
Gambler, it sounds like you’ve got it all figured out! I’m so glad that post-grad life is going swimmingly (or at least semi-employed-ly) and that you’re speaking Deutch!
Morgan, :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Gambler, sounds like you’re doing well! The Twin Cities sound like an awesome place to live!
Heh, if Alix doesn’t want to be the puritan one, someone’s gotta do it! :P
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: And here I thought IPB was a puritan-free zone!
‘Cause where Gio would come up to on Naked Chara and all.
Since Gio was always as good as giving it as good as he got it, I’m sure Naked Chara would also vote no on that one.
I just got semi-employed at a job that kind of requires me to use my degree (well, it requires me to speak German, anyway), so that’s a plus!
That’s certainly a plus. Good for you!
Good afternoon, IPB! How are y’all doing?
‘Cause where Gio would come up to on Naked Chara and all.
Since Gio was always as good as giving it as good as he got it, I’m sure Naked Chara would also vote no on that one.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: *gasp* :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Since Gio was always as good at giving it as good as he got it
That’s what she said.
Hi Mags! How are you doing? Have you dried off yet?
That’s what she said.
Wait, don’t you mean, “Timmy: ‘You’re wellllllllcoooome!’”?
Have you dried off yet?
I have, and my crocs have too (but I’m pretty sure they’re from the devil, so they don’t count). But I don’t think my monkey PJ pants are ever going to fully recover.
“You’re Weeellllllcome!”
Someone is going to have to explain that to me, because I don’t get it. *dumbass*
don’t you mean, “Timmy: ‘You’re wellllllllcoooome!’”?
Heh. I don’t think that works as well in this case.
But I don’t think my monkey PJ pants are ever going to fully recover.
That’s terrible! What a horrible price to have to pay for fall rains.
As for the “You’re welllllcooome!”, mcguffers said last night that Timmy saying that is her new “Thats what she said!” And yeah, it might not work very well in the case of Gio/Chara, but maybe that’s just because we haven’t gotten used to it yet. :P
so I could see the coaches throwing garbage cans at the players’ heads when they play poorly. Just think, this season I could get 82 games worth of garbage can tossing!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
That image brightened my day, I’m not sure if that’s good or bad as far as my hopes for the Devils’ season goes. Also, you guys probably already know this, but SuperFan in DirecTV parlance refers to an HD add on for the NFL Sunday Ticket package. It has absolutely nothing to do with the NHL Network so you must have got an especially clueless CSR, did you guys ever get that sorted out?
As for the “You’re welllllcooome!”, mcguffers said last night that Timmy saying that is her new “Thats what she said!”
Aha! Ok. Got it.
you must have got an especially clueless CSR
I thought those were the standard model of CSR?
It has absolutely nothing to do with the NHL Network so you must have got an especially clueless CSR, did you guys ever get that sorted out?
Apparently when we dropped our NFL Sunday Ticket, there was some coding glitch that screwed up our HD on other sports channels. The CSR explained that she’d been given a fix for that situation (which is not, it seems, uncommon), and when she ran it, our NHL Network HD came back on, so I believe her! :D
I just noticed the new tag line under the logo:
His name is Martin Brodeur, king of kings. Look upon his works, ye mighty, and despair.
When you mention his works and the despair, were you talking about all the frigging goals he’s been letting in, and our despair?
The Twin Cities sound like an awesome place to live!
They really are. If it’s not the dead of winter or summer, that is.
And speaking of soul-killing cold, I’m off to spend a long weekend with my incestuous, cannibalistic relatives in northern New York. If you guys don’t hear from me again, assume I was delicious!
Hee hee! I wondered if anyone would notice the new tag line. Shelley’s “Ozymandias” is basically the only poetry reference I know, so I try to use it whenever possible. :D
If you guys don’t hear from me again, assume I was delicious!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Again, with that salad dressing, who isn’t delicious? :P
I recognized the source…and yes, he does seem like a wreck of a once-great career in a desert right now. Unfortunately, he’s doing that while still in net.
are we done with the penis talk here, ladies? is it safe for a straight male to come back to IPB? and just so you know, i had to google “naked Zdeno Chara” to figure out what was going on here, and IPB was ranked 2 on google. Good work ladies. keep it up.
and yeah, i got a good laugh from the entire thread. thanks much, i needed that. although i must admit i skimmed a few, and Sweating Ovaries and Wet Monkey PJs is much like my life: pretty funny even when taken out of context.
are we done with the penis talk here, ladies?
Please. Are we EVER done with that? :P
i had to google “naked Zdeno Chara” to figure out what was going on here, and IPB was ranked 2 on google. Good work ladies. keep it up.
WOO HOOO!!!! High fives all around!!
The CSR explained that she’d been given a fix for that situation (which is not, it seems, uncommon), and when she ran it, our NHL Network HD came back on, so I believe her! :D
I apologize to the CSR who I guess wasn’t so clueless, glad you got your SuperFan status restored (as if there was ever any doubt :D) I would also advise everyone with gambling access to bet on the Nashville Predators to win tonight over the Avalanche. I say this because Craig Anderson is getting his first start for my fantasy team this evening and he should be good to let in 5-6 goals, just like &*(^ Nabokov the other day.
I apologize to the CSR who I guess wasn’t so clueless
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::: I figured I should defend her here in this space, because she was one of the good ones. :D
Oh ho, Craig Anderson’s finally getting in the big game, eh? I’ll have you know I’d have been skating him all along! I deserve Craig Anderson! ::breaks down in tears::
i had to google “naked Zdeno Chara” to figure out what was going on here, and IPB was ranked 2 on google. Good work ladies. keep it up
Just out of curiosity, I had to google it again to see where IPB is now.
IPB is #1!!! Wahoo!!!
Well played ladies!
IPB is #1!!! Wahoo!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *tosses naked Zdeno Chara confetti*
IPB is #1!!! Wahoo!!!
*Wipes away tears, while naked Zdeno Chara confetti rains down from the rafters* This is the proudest day of my life.
I’m so delighted to hear that you are now the number one hit for “naked Zdeno Chara.” How fabulous.
Today is a good day.
It is a good day, isn’t it? (I am not deluding myself into thinking it’s so good a day that the Devils will win tonight, though. I’m finding my victories where I can. :P)
Yeah, I wouldn’t say the Sabres are going to win tonight either.
It is a good day, isn’t it?
Hey, when you are the leader in “naked Zdeno Chara”, all is right with the world, I’ve always said it.
It is a good day, indeed. A good day to be a Canucks fan for sure (phew!). Another round of Naked Zdeno on the house.
IPB – The one-stop shop for all your Naked Zdeno Chara needs.
Another round of Naked Zdeno on the house.
IPB – The one-stop shop for all your Naked Zdeno Chara needs.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Basically, naked Zdeno Chara is the best thing that ever happened to us.
Basically, naked Zdeno Chara is the best thing that ever happened to us.
Before today, did you imagine yourself writing that?
Another round of Naked Zdeno on the house.
Is that sugar-rimmed?
Is that sugar-rimmed?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! We are SO going to invent a Naked Zdeno Chara cocktail when you’re here, Patty!
So I’ve done everything I can to get a Devils win tonight. I have only used red, white and black binder clips today AND I have taken my painkillers.
Did I forget to mention that I smashed a toe so badly doing laundry after attending the opening night lose that my doctor told me it was broken or badly sprained? He likened what I did to the joint on my middle toe, left foot to how you pop drumsticks off chickens.
Nothings dangling funny down there (HEY NOW!), but the toe is a lovely shade of purple. Meds may help tonight.
Hmmmm, is there anything else that could help?
Naked Zdeno Chara, Naked Zdeno Chara, Naked Zdeno Chara, Naked Zdeno Chara, Naked Zdeno Chara, Naked Zdeno Chara, Naked Zdeno Chara, Naked Zdeno Chara, Naked Zdeno Chara, Naked Zdeno Chara, Naked Zdeno Chara, Naked Zdeno Chara, Naked Zdeno Chara.
That oughta keep IPB first in Google.
Way to be the one who’s going to make the difference for the Devils tonight, Morgan! I’m glad someone’s on the case (because goodness knows I’m not. Heh)! (That SUCKS about your toe, though. I hope it feels better soon! I remember the one time I took a broken toe to the doctor; I had dropped a ceramic dinner plate and it landed like a guillotine on my big toe. The resulting purpling and swelling was amazing. I happened to have a physical scheduled about two days after the incident, and when I asked my doctor if I should be concerned about my eggplant-colored and -sized toe, she looked at it, shrugged, and said “Yup. It’s broken.” Thanks, modern medicine!)
And thanks for driving us even further up the #1 spot on Google!
So I’ve done everything I can to get a Devils win tonight. I have only used red, white and black binder clips today AND I have taken my painkillers.
True dedication, man. All I’ve done is remember to wear my Devils t-shirt and check whether they’re on tv tonight (they’re not. Neither will there be a re-run tomorrow. I’m strangely ok with this, as I foresee doom and gloom.)
I hope your toe heels up soon. That’s got to me a right pain in the, well, toe.
Is it wrong I’d like to see Martin Brodeur Goaltender (broh-DOOR, MAHR-tain) nekkid holding only a goalie stick? And standing in front of the goalie net on the ice. Not very creative, granted, but if that’s what I want to see, that’s what I want to see.
Now if that sentence doesn’t help the Devils win tonight, I have no idea what will help at all.
Carol, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I hope Marty will also be holding a strategically-placed platter of honeyed dormice. And a can of Sprite.
And a can of Sprite.
What am I talking about? He can’t stand there. One word – butterfly. Heh.
Okay. I’ll stop now. I promise.
Yay Canucks!
One word – butterfly. Heh.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Marty’s a hybrid, so he can keep standing there. You Luongo fans don’t know what you’re missing! :P
I’ve done my share to help the devils too. I’ve benched Langenbrunner in the SuperLeague. So he might very well get a hat trick (all 3 goals scored shorthanded of course), 4 assists on PP goals, 28 shots and 20PIMs.
That’s absolutely not on the Superleague, because I don’t have eastern conference players. That’s another fantasy team. But still.
Grrrreg, I will eat my hat if that happens. Happily. I will happily eat my hat. But I appreciate you taking that bullet for us. (Hey — why do you have Langenbrunner? Weren’t you supposed to draft out of the WC?)
That’s absolutely not on the Superleague, because I don’t have eastern conference players. That’s another fantasy team. But still.
Oh. Okay. *Eyes the Fainting Goats suspiciously*
Oooh no, the Fainting goats stayed safely away from EC players! He’s in another team called “Chelios’s Grandsons”.
Yeah! The Sabres are playing their second game tonight!! What’s everyone else on? 7?
Hey now, we’re only up to game 3. It just FEELS like 7 losses.
Well I’m sure it will make you feel better to know that you guys are also the third result for “naked Mike Komisarek”! :D
Only the third??? We can get that up to first, can’t we?