No matter what conference your favorite team plays in, Gentle Reader, you have surely noticed one of the Laws of the Natural Hockey Universe: announcers are incapable of referring to Corey Perry as anything other than “Corey Perry”. Unrelatedly, we’ve lately taken to watching the Columbus Blue Jackets when the Devils (and the Trannies and the Ducks and any number of other gentlemen callers) aren’t on. Since Rick Nash is “carrying the flag”, as they say in Ohio, for the Too Oranges and the Craig Andersoxers, it behooves us to tune in. While doing the important scouting to keep Nash from goldbricking on the job, we discovered something fascinating somewhat interesting worth blogging about when there’s nothing else doing*. Rusty Klesla? Is the Corey Perry of the East(ern part of the Western Conference)! Who knew? Just try to say just “Klesla”. If you’re a hockey announcer and you’re reading this (hi, Doc!), we bet you can’t. Not only that, but we also discovered that Corey Perry is the Fedor Tutyin of the West(ern part of the Western Conference). It’s this kind of research that earns us the big bucks.
*Technically, one could argue that there is “something doing” in Devilsland, but honestly, what is there to say about Elias practicing? “It’s great he’s practicing!” “We hope he comes back soon but not too soon!” “Maybe he’s what the team needs to win at home!” “Purple monkey dishwasher!”
Wow. You’re right! And it seems nobody but the Columbus guys ever mention RustlyKlesla. I can only hear it that one guy’s voice (in my min). And that guy that was on the Columbus broadcast a few years ago.
Yeah, I hadn’t heard the name RustyKlesla (or Rusty Klesla, come to think of it, or even just Klesla…) in years. It was only when we started paying attention to the BJs that we noticed this. And it should be stated for the record that we’ve been referring to RustyKlesla as the CoreyPerry of the East for about a week now, and only tonight realized that he’s actually in the Western Conference. So now I think he should be thought of as the CoreyPerry of the East of the West. Pookie’s the one who tidied that up to the CoreyPerry of the East(ern part of the Western Conference). Heh.
I always forget Columbus is in the West. They’re in the West, like we’re on the Pacific.
Hey, did you hear? Kessel’s playing! According to the broadcasters, the fans are already warming to him! Based on what, I’m not sure.
Oh crap. I have to watch Canucks play the stinking NY Rangers. EW. I almost can’t bring myself to watch it. I loathe NY. Stupid Sean Avery.
And besides, there’s so many injuries on the Canucks team that the announcers are calling them The Manitoba Moose.
Speaking of the Canucks and the Moose, carol, I just heard today that Lukowich is playing for our NHL team! I had no idea. Apparently he’s on loan from the Canucks. That’s pretty bad when your NHL team is that beat up and you still aren’t even called over to your own farm team.
This is one game where I want both teams to score a BUNCH, and I don’t care who wins. Yet it’s 1-1 in OT.
Half the (Not)s are on these two teams.
Isn’t that fascinating?
Oops. I don’t even recognize that Canuck’s name. :-( But, you can have him! HA!
They’re in the West, like we’re on the Pacific.
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You know what’s nice about your team being so injured in October and November? It’s highly unlikely that they’ll be so injured still in April. (Is that helping? No? Because it didn’t help me when the Devils were in that boat last year… But I thought I’d try. Heh.)
Oh, and I am SO sorry you have to watch the Rangers. Needless to say, that’s not a favorite hobby of mine.
(I’m very much enjoying getting to watch Sid v. Getzi!)
like we’re on the Pacific.
Or, as Bob Errey just called it, the “Pasig-net.”
Or, as Bob Errey just called it, the “Pasig-net.”
Ew! You’re watching the Pens feed? Gross! :P
I know! My finger is hovering, trembling, over the remote button, but I just can’t switch it to Brian Hayward!
Wow. Skoula’s a Pen? Actually, my first thought was: Wow, Skoula’s still in the League?
Owww. All this geography talk is hurting my head!! If I wanted some learnin’ I’d be doing my homework right now. But yeah, seriously. Columbus? It’s not even Western Ohio. Isn’t it like dead center?
Oh Carol, I hope Hank Sedin and Willie Mitchell help out your Canucks… Cause they’ll be burning you bees!! Muahahahahaha
They just called the Ducks coach, “Kitty Carlysle.” I’m probably the only one that gets that reference. :P
“Kitty Carlysle.” I’m probably the only one that gets that reference. :P
Isn’t that Cindy Brady’s doll?
Well WTF? The Beards of Bees are DEAD LAST! 14/14. It’s 100%, right? A+ of SUCK.
Hank Sedin! Ha! Apparently this is well known that this is Henrik’s nickname. But not for me. This is the first time I’ve ever heard that. It’s hilarious! Mike’s shocked I’d never heard that before.
Still! Hank! Like a peeping truck driver! LOLS!
Actually, my first thought was: Wow, Skoula’s still in the League?
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Last time we played the Pens, Doc reveled in reminding us over and over that Skoula was on that stupid 2001 Avs team. I hate that team.
By the way, Pookie just brought to my attention that apparently Bruce Boudreau was whining that the Blue Jackets had a game plan on Sunday to hit Ovechkin at every opportunity. To which Hitchcock said pretty much, “Yeah. Because we play HOCKEY.” I am constantly impressed at the levels to which the Caps will take organizational whining.
Isn’t that Cindy Brady’s doll?
No, that’s Mrs. Beasley.
(No, wait… that’s Buffy’s doll.)
It’s 100%, right? A+ of SUCK.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Have you considered shaking up your lineup? Hey! You still have Patty Elias, right? Well, he’s supposed to be back soon. Although I guess he’s having a hard time getting all the way through practice, so I’m not sure how good he’s going to be when he gets into a game… :P
Hank! Like a peeping truck driver!
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W00T! Samuelson just scored!
I am constantly impressed at the levels to which the Caps will take organizational whining.
Wow.
Don’t the BJs know that Ovie is for hitting, not for being hit? He can do whatever he wants to other players, but you don’t hit the only real player in the whole league. Duh!
Don’t the BJs know that Ovie is for hitting, not for being hit?
Exactly! Everyone might rave about how he’s such a great physical player, and how his game is so much better when he’s dishing out the big hits, and he might have put on however much weight this summer ostensibly to be able to hit even harder, but dude. That doesn’t mean you get to hit him. It’s on his terms or not at all. Some people are so stupid.
And go Canucks! Beat the Rangers!
It’s 100%, right? A+ of SUCK.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Alix introduced me to “Hank”. I kept forgetting which was which so I just called him Smiley Twin because he smiled in his headshot. Then Alix pointed out that “Hank” has an “A”.
Hey, Schnookie. Let’s ixnay the mixing the line up-ay until after this week, maybe? mmkay? :P
Don’t the BJs know that Ovie is for hitting, not for being hit? He can do whatever he wants to other players, but you don’t hit the only real player in the whole league. Duh!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I love that the Caps are saying this crap in November. I can’t wait to see where they go from here!
Hey, Schnookie. Let’s ixnay the mixing the line up-ay until after this week, maybe? mmkay? :P
Heh heh. Notice I didn’t point out that Elias was still starting for the Beards of Bees last week when I was playing them. Heh.
It’s on his terms or not at all. Some people are so stupid.
It’s like Derek Roy and scoring. Don’t try to tell him to score to help kids with diabetes! He can not score as long as he wants!
Don’t try to tell him to score to help kids with diabetes! He can not score as long as he wants!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: And really, what’s the point? I mean, for every goal he scores to help kids with diabetes, the Flyers are there handing out cases of Tastykakes!
Heh heh. Notice I didn’t point out that Elias was still starting for the Beards of Bees last week when I was playing them. Heh.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Fantasy hockey brings out the blackness of our souls.
Is anyone else watching this game on the Ducks feed? If so, what is UO with the music they’re playing over the intermission highlights? This is the music that’s supposed to play while Getzi stares moodily out a window on a rainy day.
I mean, for every goal he scores to help kids with diabetes, the Flyers are there handing out cases of Tastykakes!
Then you’ve got Gaustad there with his getting kids to walk program, thinking to himself, “It’s like one step forward and 8 drunken staggers back.”
DOH! I’ve been had!
Fantasy hockey brings out the blackness of our souls.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It doesn’t have far to go, that blackness, when it tries to find its way out of my soul. Heh.
“It’s like one step forward and 8 drunken staggers back.”
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I switched to the Ducks feed just in time to hear the Movie-of-the-Week music over the highlights.
DOH! I’ve been had!
It’s pretty cutthroat around here. Heh.
Woo! I’ve been hearing how the Pens are all dominant and shit and the Ducks suck, but I wasn’t seeing it. Maybe they’ll start now.
It doesn’t have far to go, that blackness, when it tries to find its way out of my soul. Heh.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: My blackness trips over a bright spot and goes, “Hey now! How’d that get here?”
I switched to the Ducks feed just in time to hear the Movie-of-the-Week music over the highlights.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::: I have a visual of Getzi skating around to Enya.
I’ve been hearing how the Pens are all dominant and shit and the Ducks suck, but I wasn’t seeing it.
Well, it’s pretty easy to say that when the Ducks are being all, “Hey, you guys want to be on the PP for the whole period? Would that be cool?” They’re very disciplined. (We got to listen to the Ducks guys try to figure out why their team gets called for so many penalties all the time and never draws any. They’re like, “Is it bias? Or are they that dirty?” We’re like, “No, yes, and it’s also because they’re lazy.”)
My blackness trips over a bright spot and goes, “Hey now! How’d that get here?”
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And the intermission mood music was even moodier than Enya. It was the kind of piano music that normally plays over montages on TV dramas featuring characters that have just tragically been killed off during sweeps. It was hilarious.
The Pens are really wasting a lot of PP time.
The Pens broadcasters were saying that skating headlong into the goalie is part of the Ducks game plan. While those two guys are hugely stupid, I am not ready to dismiss that theory.
Darn. Kessler’s goal is waved off. Ah Boo!
Woo! Letang! (Clan.)
He’s a (Not). In case you were wondering.
I’ve watched a lot of Ducks games so far this season, and I can say with no small confidence that their gameplan is to deliberately take EVERY penalty they can. Running headlong into the goalie is just one of many. They also like to deliberately blatantly hook guys. And deliberately blatantly trip them. And deliberately blatantly hold guys. And so on and so on. They’re virtuoso penalty-takers.
They also like to deliberately blatantly hook guys. And deliberately blatantly trip them. And deliberately blatantly hold guys.
Carlyle is like, “To quote Ken Hitchcock, ‘Yes, that’s the plan. What, is that against the rules now?’ Wait, what’s that?”
Carlyle is like, “To quote Ken Hitchcock, ‘Yes, that’s the plan. What, is that against the rules now?’ Wait, what’s that?”
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By the way, I think it goes without saying, but the Too Oranges have stripped Getzi of his C and given it to Rick Nash. Getzi told the media he was cool with it, because that dumb C was always falling off anyway.
Carlyle is like, “To quote Ken Hitchcock, ‘Yes, that’s the plan. What, is that against the rules now?’ Wait, what’s that?”
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WOOOOOOOOOOOO! Go RustyKlesla of the West(ern part of the Western Conference)! And go Getzi with the assist! He wants his C back!
They’re virtuoso penalty-takers.
When they get one for kneeing, clipping, and/or “fucking around”, then I’ll be impressed.
Getzi told the media he was cool with it, because that dumb C was always falling off anyway.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Shea Weber and Dustin Penner rotate the C for home and away games.
They’re virtuoso penalty-takers.
That’s nice. :D
Getzi told the media he was cool with it, because that dumb C was always falling off anyway.
Oops! My C fell off! No, wait. It was yanked off. :(
When they get one for kneeing, clipping, and/or “fucking around”, then I’ll be impressed.
The Ducks are like, “Please. We get called for that shit during skatearound.”
The Ducks are like, “Please. We get called for that shit during skatearound.”
Ha! Slapshot!
Awwww! Sid is so cute!
Poor Sid. I can’t believe he has to answer that “you still live at Mario’s” during intermission. Poor, poor little wooden robot boy.
Sid must hate out-of-conference games, where he has to answer the questions that the EC media got over two years ago.
Oh, and I meant to add that Shea Weber is also a co-captain on the Andersoxers. I would really, really appreciate it if Yahoo would put him on IR already!
Where in the hell did these “Pillow Pet” commercials come from?
Oh, big scrap on the ice…about 10 guys punching. FUN!
I can’t believe he has to answer that “you still live at Mario’s” during intermission.
I know! I’m always impressed that Sid doesn’t theatrically roll his eyes at some of the questions he gets.
I think Carlyle is gonna cry!
Ooh, carol! That sounds fun. The melees are the best.
The melees are the best.
Zactly! I *heart* meeles! Stupid Sean Avery. I’m so bored of his punch-me face. He needs to retire and go work for Vogue already.
Hey! Rypien just scored. They’re back in it.
CoreyPerry is so gross.
This is an exciting game, though!
Good news! The Rangers just lost 4-1. And Bieksa had a 12 minute penalty. Crazy.
Watching The Rangers lose is like watching Veruca Salt not get her pony. Heh. So. Satisfying.
Watching The Rangers lose is like watching Veruca Salt not get her pony. Heh. So. Satisfying.
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s true! And WOOOOOOOOOO! Way to beat them! Thanks, Canucks! :D
Good morning, everyone! How are we all doing?
Good morning, everyone! How are we all doing?
I’m better now that I can sit up without the little drummer boy playing a concert in my head. Yesterday just sucked.
Aw, Amy, I’m sorry! Today’s gonna be a beautiful day! I hope. :D
Hopefully. I’m kind of freaking out right now (as much as one freaks out about a hockey team) since the Sabres tweeted that they recalled our baby Swedish goalie from Portland. They can’t tease me with things like that without letting me know whether it’s Crunchy or Lalime that is dying of death or injured.
Good morning to all!
Today starts our three days of adventures in Newark.
It goes like this: Devils game (tonight), locker room tour (tomorrow), Devils game (friday).
If they suck tonight I may end up setting fire to the locker room tomorrow.
Awww, Amy, I hope you’re feeling better! And I hope Crunchy’s not dead, for Buffalonians’ sakes and for the sake of every lady out there who wants a fashionable boob hoodie.
I’m SO sorry yesterday sucked, Amy! That seems to be going around…
dying of death
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::: I’m sure it’s all fine! I’m sure the baby goalie has been called up for a perfectly harmless reason. Like that it’s rookie dinner time, and they wanted more rookies? :P
If they suck tonight I may end up setting fire to the locker room tomorrow.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::: I hope if it comes to that that you do a better job than the fire in the parking lot at South Mountain a couple of years ago. We want an effective “get the boys’ attention” fire!
If they suck tonight I may end up setting fire to the locker room tomorrow.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::: Poor Pam! I just got a mental image of someone losing it in the Devils’ locker room, building a pyre out of sticks and setting it aflame.
Like that it’s rookie dinner time, and they wanted more rookies?
That would be perfect. Sadly, Lalime is doing his best Hasek impersonation with a wonky groin.
I just got a mental image of someone losing it in the Devils’ locker room, building a pyre out of sticks and setting it aflame.
Cue the Devils coming out of hiding with hot dogs and marshmallows thinking they’re having a campfire cookout indoors.
Cue the Devils coming out of hiding with hot dogs and marshmallows thinking they’re having a campfire cookout indoors.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It’s funny because it’s true.
Hey everyone! Hope you’re all having a good day!
Cue the Devils coming out of hiding with hot dogs and marshmallows thinking they’re having a campfire cookout indoors.
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I hate them. I hope they make me like them tonight!
I hope if it comes to that that you do a better job than the fire in the parking lot at South Mountain a couple of years ago. We want an effective “get the boys’ attention” fire!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Although, this year Paulie won’t be there to put it out, so who knows, maybe a small electrical fire is enough?
Val wants to put an acorn in Travis’ locker. I wonder if we would get jumped by security if we attempted that?
Oh, and I meant to add that Shea Weber is also a co-captain on the Andersoxers. I would really, really appreciate it if Yahoo would put him on IR already!
No joke. I saw DTD and figured it was a hang nail or something. Then it said 1-2 weeks. That’s a pretty loose interpretation of day-to-day.
And I need a Suspension Reserve as well.
Good Morning everyone!!
Val wants to put an acorn in Travis’ locker. I wonder if we would get jumped by security if we attempted that?
I should think not. What’s dangerous about an acorn? (Unless there is some aspect of American pop-culture I’m totally missing)
I’m having a good day. Except for the lady at the unemployment office telling me I’m overqualified to find a job. When she was filling the papers, she had to make stuff up to fill my profile on her computer because their software is not designed for people looking for jobs in my field. I’m still finishing my PhD, so I’m not really looking for a job right now, but it’s always nice to hear that! :)
When she was filling the papers, she had to make stuff up to fill my profile on her computer because their software is not designed for people looking for jobs in my field.
That’s probably how Bettman accidentally got his job.
But congratulations on being overqualified to find a j… that’s not coming out right…
I would love to become commissioner of the NHL by accident! Maybe there’s a career waiting for me there! I mean, could I really do worse than him?
could I really do worse than him?
I’d like to see you try.
I’d hire you as my Director of Hockey Operations, Mags. I’m sure I’d find interesting positions for all the IPBers.
What’s dangerous about an acorn?
You’d think nothing, but they might think it was a bomb. A plant-based explosive device, I guess.
So…. yeah.
I’d hire you as my Director of Hockey Operations, Mags. I’m sure I’d find interesting positions for all the IPBers.
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What’s dangerous about an acorn?
You’d think nothing, but they might think it was a bomb. A plant-based explosive device, I guess.
I think they might take that as a sort of death menace. You know, like when someone anonymously leaves a bullet in the mailbox of someone else in the movies. (In that case, it would be like he’s threatened by an angry squirrel.)
I’d hire you as my Director of Hockey Operations, Mags. I’m sure I’d find interesting positions for all the IPBers.
Oooh, that’s a fancy pants job I’d actually enjoy! I bet the IPB (ir)regulars would make a great pack of league leaders. Fire clowns and sparkly butts included!
You’d think nothing, but they might think it was a bomb. A plant-based explosive device, I guess.
I think they might take that as a sort of death menace.
I am clearly way too naive to be allowed to interact with others.
Made it through the all day “staph” meeting. I’m all thinking outside the box and everything. So glad to see you guys!
(In that case, it would be like he’s threatened by an angry squirrel.)
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