It’s paint cans playing chess time, as the Devils and Islanders face off! Join us as we woolgather the game away.
– Early in the first, Clarkson and some Islander get into a fight well behind the play. And when the penalties are announced, it turns out that Clarkson was guilty of the infraction that started it all, in this case, holding. Wait a sec — since when would anyone beat Clarkson up for holding them? That Islander was so lucky!
– Before Clarkson’s penalty is over, Whitey gets called for interference on what Chico calls “a crushing hit” on an Islander well after the Islander had let go of the puck at the blue line. Replay clearly shows that more than three seconds had passed after the puck left the scene before Whitey made contact, but Pookie thinks that’s hardly an excuse: “Whitey can’t count to three! He shouldn’t be penalized for that!”
– Nielsson scores for the Islanders and we have to admit that any love-affair we might have had with Yann Danis is effectively nipped in the bud as he loses his chance to get Marty’s record-setting shutout.
– Being Friday night and being that no one wants to cook dinner on a Friday night, we opt for frozen pizza. The oven was turned on to pre-heat at the start of the period. At 7:40 Schnookie got up to check the progress of our gourmet meal only to discover the oven has only gotten up to 230 degrees. That’s right — Devils-Islanders match-ups are so boring, even household appliances are made sluggish in the face of paint cans playing chess.
– Exhibit A in Brian Rolston’s case that he is not the worst hockey player on earth is Marty Biron giving up a goal on a long, unfluttering, unscreened, untipped point shot from Cory Murphy. Cory. Murphy. That’s just shameful. But WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
– Exhibit B in Brian Rolston’s case that he is not the worst hockey player on earth is him scoring on the power play late in the second period. We might concede that for at least tonight, Marty Biron is definitely worse than Rolston. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (As we are writing this bit of gathered wool, Pookie remarks, “I hope we get up to Exhibit Z tonight.”)
– Rolston’s spirits must be flagging — when he’s interviewed at the end of the second by Stan, he doesn’t wink at the camera. We know, we know, it’s probably just because he’s now stuck slaving away in the Lemaire-run salt mines, but still! He was the guy who wanted Lemaire here in the first place! So what’s his excuse?
– Just as we are about to remark that Devils/Islanders games on Friday nights don’t really inspire us to much commentary (and that’s more our fault than the Devils or Islanders, to be fair), Martinek has to leave the ice after suffering a leg injury on a hit by Zach. Suddenly the living room at stately IPB Manor is filled with a chorus of “I say, man! I killed a man in the ring tonight.”
– You know what? The Devils just seem zestier with Patty back in the lineup. Just imagine how zesty they’ll be when Patty and Paulie and Pando are all playing!
Somehow when David Clarkson passed that puck backwards, he managed to propel it over his own head and out of play. Poor non-ambiturner.
Poor non-ambiturner.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: He’s just trying so hard, though! It’s so hard to hate him! :P
Non-ambipasser. I meant non-ambipasser.
…
Damnit.
Someday Clarkson’s going to do an hilarious, stiffly-acted PSA commercial describing the sadness and shame of not being ambirotational.
Hee! We had a friend who was on a swim team with a guy who had a spectacular stroke and great form but never seemed to swim as fast as he should. The coach finally decided he had to examine the guy’s stroke and kick individually. The stroke was fine, but when they put him in the pool with a kickboard, they discovered his kick was actually propelling him backwards the whole time. Clarkson’s passes are like that!
Doesn’t “Sean Bergenheim” sound like the “cool” member of your high-school chess team?
Doesn’t “Sean Bergenheim” sound like the “cool” member of your high-school chess team?
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Or he might just be the one who thinks he’s the cool chess kid.
He’d be the kid in the chess club who you later learn would go on family vacations to Australia to do extreme free diving.
Chico mentioned how Danius Zubrus was “discouraged” by seeing an opposing player’s stick. Is his underlying problem? Does he have some sort hockey-stick induced depressive disorder?
Man, now Zubrus is going to be doing awkward PSAs!
I love how Dano doesn’t want to see anyone hurt “too severely,” the implication that someone hurt severely is ok, just not too severely.
I started watching the Leafs/Canes game while waiting for the Sabres game. Now I’m so out of it, I can’t force myself to get up and turn the Sabs game on. Welcome to the Suck.
Oh, and I went to Spot Coffee today to finish some homework and some guy sits next to me and used the worst conversation starters ever. He saw my anatomy book and started telling me about a torture device he saw on History Channel that splits your jaw apart. Then he told me I look like a republican. Buffalo, why have you treated me so?
Why does Marty have paper sticking out the back of his jersey? Did he get a haircut in the lockeroom?
the implication that someone hurt severely is ok, just not too severely.
Dano: *Blank stare* “And the problem with that is?”
He saw my anatomy book and started telling me about a torture device he saw on History Channel that splits your jaw apart.
Okay, I am SO not going to be able to sleep tonight. Buffalo, why have you treated me so? (A truly vile torture device I’m currently contending with is an oven that makes me wait well over an hour for a frozen pizza.)
And WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
He saw my anatomy book and started telling me about a torture device he saw on History Channel that splits your jaw apart.
Considering the sports history of Buffalo, I am completely unsurprised. If I woke up tomorrow and read that everyone in Buffalo drank poison Kool-Aid to avoid watching the Bills on Sunday, I would be unsurprised.
Why does Marty have paper sticking out the back of his jersey? Did he get a haircut in the lockeroom?
Oh, and yes. Yes he did. And his highlights. He likes to match his honey’d dormice at the after-game buffet.
If I woke up tomorrow and read that everyone in Buffalo drank poison Kool-Aid to avoid watching the Bills on Sunday, I would be unsurprised.
Well, first the Buffalo News reporters would suggest that the only way the Buffalo teams’ (Bills and Sabres) owners are going to get the message is if everyone killed themselves. Then the radio guys would argue that the reporters are being overzealous. Then half the fans would agree that killing themselves is the only way, while the other half would say that their loyalty WILL be rewarded. Then Thursday comes along, everyone’s excited for the weekend, and we forgot what we were arguing about in the first place. Rinse and repeat.
A truly vile torture device I’m currently contending with is an oven that makes me wait well over an hour for a frozen pizza.
You guys don’t have much luck with pizza! Sheesh.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I woke up tomorrow and read that everyone in Buffalo drank poison Kool-Aid to avoid watching the Bills on Sunday, I would be unsurprised.
Man, the Bills wish anyone in Buffalo cared enough about them to drink poison Kool-Aid. At this point I think most fans would rather just turn the TV off than threaten to kill themselves. Congratulations, Bills! You suck so much that you’ve actually made Buffalo fans rational about how much you suck.
You suck so much that you’ve actually made Buffalo fans rational about how much you suck.
Wow, that’s bad!
Bye week for the bills (thank effing goodness). Now we get an extra week of garment-rending over TO’s ahole agent
You know Crunchy has got to be seething that Rivet’s fatty hips caused a shot to get past him.
Crunchy’s going to leave brochures for diet plans in Rivet’s stall after the game.
I have to say, this is one of the least paint-cans-playing-chess-y Devils/Islanders games I’ve ever seen. (It’s 2-1, which is saying a lot about how dull the other ones have been, but that’s beside the point.) Patty’s return is making the Devils sassier!
Yeah. Roy’s scoring again. Happy. Happy. Joy. Joy. And such.
I have to say, this is one of the least paint-cans-playing-chess-y Devils/Islanders games I’ve ever seen.
That’s good, because waiting for 3 hour pizza to bake is much worse when you have paint chess to keep you occupied.
Crunchy’s going to leave brochures for diet plans in Rivet’s stall after the game.
That’s only if Plan A doesn’t work. Plan A = discreetly liposuctioning Rivet’s hips during the 2nd intermission. Would it surprise anyone to learn that Crunchy owns a DIY liposuction kit?
Would it surprise anyone to learn that Crunchy owns a DIY liposuction kit?
It would. I could see him owning some sort of home-colonic device… that’s much Crunchier.
Well, it’s not for him. Of course not, he never gets any fat in the first place. It’s for his cat.
Crunchy: What a fatty.
That’s good, because waiting for 3 hour pizza to bake is much worse when you have paint chess to keep you occupied.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::: Truer words have never been spoken.
Would it surprise anyone to learn that Crunchy owns a DIY liposuction kit?
It would. I could see him owning some sort of home-colonic device…
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to both of you! Crunchy actually wants to sue the “Men Who Stare At Goats” moviemakers, because he has copyrighted “Man Who Stares At Fat”, a weight-loss-by-death-glare regimen.
It’s Friday, we have pizza and Hank is playing Patty (in Dallas)’s team. All is well in the world!
Did it take over an hour to get that pizza? If not, I’m afraid I’m going to have to file a protest with someone about that. :P
The highlights of the Devils game I’m seeing during this intermission make it look like the game is being played in a dirty fishbowl.
Whose feed are they getting those from? Our picture is glorious and wonderful! (Doc just told us this game has pretty much been played in real time. It took 14 minutes to play the first 13 minutes of this period.)
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Another win at home! What’s come over the Devils??
The Devils are living off of schaudenfreude: all it took was playing a game against the Caps when Fun! Fun! Fun! was hurt.
Komisarek was just interviewed in his UnderArmour. Ah. Just Ahhh.
Harry Neale just made the Philly coach and Scott Stevens brothers.
Nope – no hour long wait for us. Mike ordered before I got home from work, so it was practically waiting for me. Heh.
all it took was playing a game against the Caps when Fun! Fun! Fun! was hurt.
That’s EXACTLY the sort of thing I’m happy to be the turning point of the season. The less Fun! Fun! Fun! the better, I always say. Heh.
Harry Neale just made the Philly coach and Scott Stevens brothers.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Nice.
Mike ordered before I got home from work, so it was practically waiting for me. Heh.
That’s so nice! No one ever orders pizza so it’s waiting for me when I get home! (It’s beside the point that I normally get home from work about 45 minutes before Pookie does…)
I normally get home from work about 45 minutes before Pookie does…
Sheesh. That Pookie is a slacker. Mind you, she did give me some great library advice today, so I shouldn’t be so tough on the Pookster.
Pookie’s really good at library advice, isn’t she? Less so with feeding me. But I suppose that’s fair, because I’m the mama bird and she and Boomer are the little peeping baby birds. That’s how I carry my weight at stately IPB Manor. It would be against the rules to expect them to feed me! :P
Yeah, be nice! Heh. (You’re welcome for the advice! I just want the whole world to know about interlibrary loan, because it basically turns your local public library into a super-library that has everything!)
Wow! A super-library. That’s cool. You know what else is cool? Mike Gillis is in Sweden trying to woo Forsberg.
Fuckin’ EH! (Sorry for the language, kitties)
(Sorry for the language, kitties)
My ears! My delicate ears!
I hope that the Canucks do sign Forsberg, because I would love to hear the profanity from alix. Heh.
So the Scott and John are not related, right? Harry’s just senile?
So the Scott and John are not related, right? Harry’s just senile?
Heh. No and yes. :D (Scott and John Stevens are both like, “It’s an awfully common last name, isn’t it?”)
I should clarify that I wasn’t questioning Harry Neale’s senility so much as Harry Neale’s senility in this particular instance.
I should clarify that I wasn’t questioning Harry Neale’s senility so much as Harry Neale’s senility in this particular instance.
No worries! We know you know he’s senile! :D
Aw crap. Dallas is winning by 2. :-(
Aw crap. Dallas is winning by 2. :-(
I’d say I’m so sorry, but Patty and Myra are at the game, and I don’t want to be playing favorites or anything… :P
True, true. I couldn’t help but notice many empty seats at the game. You never see that here. Ever!
I am very, very familiar with the sight of empty seats at my team’s games. Heh. :D
And you know what I’ve realized tonight? I will always — and I mean always — laugh really hard at a commercial that features a dog driving a car. Any dog, any car. I will find it hilarious. I’m so sophisticated!
Totes. I’m sophisticated, too. I laughed when I saw a banana fall out of a guy’s bag today on the bus. He didn’t notice and just walked off the bus. And the banana just laid there on the floor. I kept giggling about it off and on all day.
Not as funny as a dog driving. But still. Banana drop!
Dude, and if there was no banana in that peel, just imagine how hilarious it would be if someone slipped on it!
DOOD! LOLLERSKATES!
Our Chico Eats tonight features the Brick City Grill, and it features Gel-O eating with Chico. And after we watch in horror while Gel-O took an outrageously humongous bite of whatever, Pookie says in awe, “Gel-O just took a bite the size of his head. He unhinged his jaw like a snake.” Boudreau shrieks, “No fair! They have a snake man hosting their studio show!” Meanwhile, Gel-O is now shaped like a slowly-digesting 32-oz. steak.
i think that the flyers, as a charity fund raiser, have the players’ wives put on a fashion show…how about the devils raising money for charity with a DVD featuring the best of “chico eats”…i’d be the first one to send them my mone for that one :D
don, I would be the second in line to buy the DVD of “Chico Eats!”!
how about the devils raising money for charity with a DVD featuring the best of “chico eats”
Teams have put out DVDs chronicling lesser things.
They could also package it with “The Best of Chuck the Duck.”
I would TOTALLY buy “The Best of Chuck the Duck”!
Teams have put out DVDs chronicling lesser things.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Like, for instance, anything about the Maple Leafs! :P
And I would be FIRST in line for the “Best of Chuck the Duck” DVD!
They could also package it with “The Best of Chuck the Duck.”
amy, you are a genius :D
They could also package it with “The Best of Chuck the Duck.”
I met a Devils fan the other day (no, he wasn’t the crazy guy with the jaw torture device) and I mentioned Chuck the Duck. When she asked how I knew of Chuck, I was like “Doesn’t everyone?!”
When she asked how I knew of Chuck, I was like “Doesn’t everyone?!”
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;