An Open Letter To People Who Have Dropped Paulie Martin From Their Fantasy Teams

November 10, 2009 by Schnookie

Dear people who have dropped Paulie Martin from their fantasy teams,

You’re on notice.

Myra.

Love,
Pookie

Posted in AmazingLeague/SuperLeague, Paul Martin, This Is No Laughing Matter | 67 Comments

67 Responses

on November 10, 2009 at 7:55 pm Meg

Ooh, burn.
on November 10, 2009 at 8:11 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Uh-oh! Myra’s gonna geeetttt iiiiittt! *singsong*
on November 10, 2009 at 8:18 pm Pookie

I’ve long threatened the strongly worded blog post. You thought it was all a myth!
on November 10, 2009 at 8:21 pm Patty (in Dallas)

I didn’t think you’d do it. But you did it!
on November 10, 2009 at 8:25 pm Patty (in Dallas)

I think you all know that I’m a very petty person when it comes to hockey. I think nothing of wishing a lifetime of misery on people for any perceived slight. These days, I’m wishing some medium amount of misery on Jonas Gustavsson for spurning the Stars’ advances in the summer. I hope he and the Leafs both regret his decision. I’d settle for either, though. Isn’t that fascinating?
on November 10, 2009 at 8:30 pm Myra

Ruh-Roh. Heh. Um….

**runs and hides**
on November 10, 2009 at 8:35 pm mcguffers

These days, I’m wishing some medium amount of misery on Jonas Gustavsson for spurning the Stars’ advances in the summer.

It’s probably a good thing I didn’t mention that I was enjoying watching him this weekend, huh?

I am currently watching the League Leading Rochester Amerks (heh.) beat the baby Habs. If this game was in Montreal, someone would be Ole-ing right now. But because it’s only 3-0 with five minutes left in the 2nd, Amerks fans are proudly cheering and not jeering.
on November 10, 2009 at 8:35 pm Myra

Hub told me to do it! I was going to drop Gagne, but nooo, Hub says I should keep him and drop Martin.

And that’s my story. And if Hub’s says any different, he is a chicken-livered, bald-face liar.

(Clemmy’s not the only one who can through people under the bus.)
on November 10, 2009 at 8:44 pm mcguffers

And that’s my story. And if Hub’s says any different, he is a chicken-livered, bald-face liar.

You forgot yellow-bellied.
on November 10, 2009 at 8:45 pm Patty (in Dallas)

The Toronto guy just said, and I quote, “Finger goes back to touch it.” Heh heh.
on November 10, 2009 at 8:46 pm Myra

Meanwhile, Hub is taking half an hour to write a two sentence rebutal and the Kid is singing the play-by-play in the background.

We have a strange household.
on November 10, 2009 at 8:46 pm Myra's Hub

Its Andrew’s fault, we should have more than two IR spots. If you have 4 people on IR someone has to go. If someone didn’t get easily offended, who knows what would happen.

Also, who dropped Robi??
on November 10, 2009 at 8:49 pm mcguffers

The Toronto guy just said, and I quote, “Finger goes back to touch it.” Heh heh.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::: Komisarek left injured, so the Leafs can go back to sucking.
on November 10, 2009 at 8:52 pm Myra

You forgot yellow-bellied.

And that, too.

Hub did say I could pick him back up when he is about to come off IR, but I guess that chance is ruined now.

Thanks, Pookie.

Oh, and Dave, I believe that was Pookie who dropped Robi.

Dave is on his laptop, I’m on my laptop and the Kid is on her iPod, all reading IPB. A whole family of Irregulars.
on November 10, 2009 at 8:54 pm mcguffers

A whole family of Irregulars.

That’s sounds like a storyboard for an Activia commercial.
on November 10, 2009 at 8:56 pm mcguffers

Pie-YAY scored!!!!! And now that I’ve cheered for a Bruin, I’m going to go throw up…
on November 10, 2009 at 8:57 pm Myra

Jamie Lee Curtis here we come.
on November 10, 2009 at 8:59 pm Myra

And now that I’ve cheered for a Bruin

mcguffers! What have you done! Eek.
on November 10, 2009 at 9:03 pm mcguffers

I know!! Eck. Stupid Sabres shouldn’t have traded him!
on November 10, 2009 at 9:05 pm Patty (in Dallas)

Myra, your family is crazy! And it sounds like Pookie shouldn’t be throwing stones if she dropped the adorable Robi!
on November 10, 2009 at 9:45 pm Pookie

Sorry, I stepped away to do a little fabric cutting. Let’s see, what did I miss?

1. And that’s my story. And if Hub’s says any different, he is a chicken-livered, bald-face liar.

(Clemmy’s not the only one who can through people under the bus.)

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Nice one!

2. Its Andrew’s fault, we should have more than two IR spots.

Hey, we’re all burned by the two-IR problem every year, but that doesn’t mean we have to go around dropping Paulie Martin! :PPPPPPPPPPPP

3. Oh, and Dave, I believe that was Pookie who dropped Robi.

Look at that hobo! He looks like a dejected, rejected Paulie Martin!

4. A whole family of Irregulars.

Awwww! How sweet! A whole family of Irregulars who hate Paulie Martin!!!

5. *tiny voice* Paulie’s stats probably aren’t really worth keeping him even when he’s not on IR. He’s got no fantasy finish.
on November 10, 2009 at 9:45 pm carolbrowne

Hey guys! Guess what time it is in Vancouver? STINK O’CLOCK! I don’t know what’s happening!
on November 10, 2009 at 9:46 pm Pookie

Oh, and of course, just as I hit send, Eric Brewer says in an intermission interview that the team has been having issue with something or other but “that’s really just an apparition”. The Blues are haunted!
on November 10, 2009 at 9:46 pm Pookie

Guess what time it is in Vancouver? STINK O’CLOCK!

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on November 10, 2009 at 9:51 pm carolbrowne

Mike wanted me to tell you he’s off to the airport to get a plane to St. Louis to relieve Loungo. He’ll be wearing his turkey hat. Heh.
on November 10, 2009 at 9:52 pm mcguffers

Guess what time it is in Vancouver? STINK O’CLOCK!

*looks at Fire Clowns’ stats* I’m gonna need Hank to get rid of that -3.

WTF are the Habs wearing now? Minnesota’s practice jerseys?
on November 10, 2009 at 9:58 pm carolbrowne

We were just subjected to a skin tag commercial. BARF!
on November 10, 2009 at 10:01 pm Myra

What are the Habs wearing, in deed?!?

BIZARRO!
on November 10, 2009 at 10:03 pm Patty (in Dallas)

We were just subjected to a skin tag commercial. BARF!

GROSS! Who would want to buy skin tags?!
on November 10, 2009 at 10:05 pm Myra

GROSS! Who would want to buy skin tags?!
on November 10, 2009 at 10:05 pm Myra

Ooops.

That was supposed to have a

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

under it.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:06 pm carolbrowne

GROSS! Who would want to buy skin tags?!

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Mike’s on the phone ordering 2 big bags of ‘em now.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:10 pm Schnookie

Mike wanted me to tell you he’s off to the airport to get a plane to St. Louis to relieve Loungo. He’ll be wearing his turkey hat. Heh.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I can’t wait to see that!

GROSS! Who would want to buy skin tags?!

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That commercial was hilarious, by the way. I love the little girl all, “Mommy, your eyes! They’re so beautiful! And your hair! It’s so luscious! And — EWWWWWWWWW! Dear god what is that THING????” And then the mother, beaten down by her shame and her daughter’s scorn, is all, “That’s my skin tag. It’s the price I have to pay for all my sins.”
on November 10, 2009 at 10:12 pm Pookie

I had never actually heard the phrase “skin tag” before that commercial, so, honest to gosh, for a split second there I thought it was supposed to be some sci-fi, alien probe thing. Like that she had an alien barcode or something.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:13 pm Schnookie

Mike’s on the phone ordering 2 big bags of ‘em now.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::*GASP!*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Tell him to leave some for the rest of us.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:14 pm mcguffers

GROSS! Who would want to buy skin tags?!

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

And — EWWWWWWWWW! Dear god what is that THING????”

Timmy: “You’re Wellllllcome.”
on November 10, 2009 at 10:15 pm carolbrowne

Who knew that skin tags could be so funny? Yay!

5-1. Skin tag score or what? Ew. Skin tags.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:19 pm mcguffers

Like that she had an alien barcode or something.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I’ve never heard of the phrase skin tag either, but now I really, really want to see this commercial.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:22 pm mcguffers

Carol, WTF is Bieksa doing?? 22 penalty minutes?? Who does he think he is, Eric Boulton?
on November 10, 2009 at 10:26 pm Schnookie

5-1. Skin tag score or what? Ew. Skin tags.

Yeah, this is a “Skin tags for everyone!” kind of game for Canucks fans.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:29 pm Pookie

Hey wait a minute — PaulieMartinless Pot Roasters are facing off against the Andersoxers this week! Not only did I put Myra on notice, but I’m also beating her 11-0! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!
on November 10, 2009 at 10:32 pm Myra

Gees. I was wondering how long it was going to take you to notice. Pooh.

And all you young whipper snappers just wait. You’ll learn about skin tags soon enough. Humph.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:33 pm carolbrowne

WTF is Bieksa doing??

No idea. He seems to be the golden boy around the Canucks, no matter what he does. I don’t get it.

Bieksa skin tags for everyone, that is. That would mean he’d be covered in skin tags, from head to toe. Yeuck.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:33 pm Schnookie

Since when have the Sharks had a sideline guy named Brodie Brazil? Why did no one tell me about this? BRODIE BRAZIL???
on November 10, 2009 at 10:36 pm carolbrowne

Thank Jebus that’s over. Painful. No more 5 day breaks for that team ever again.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:37 pm Schnookie

And all you young whipper snappers just wait. You’ll learn about skin tags soon enough. Humph.

It was less not knowing about skin tags, and more like Boomer said: “I had no idea those things had a name.” Heh.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:37 pm Pookie

Gees. I was wondering how long it was going to take you to notice. Pooh.

I’m a little slow on these things. Also, I would have appreciated Yahoo telling me Shea Weber was back in the lineup tonight! And I’d appreciate Yahoo recognizing that Bolland being out 3-4 months doesn’t mean he’s out “day to day”.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:42 pm Meg

*looks at Fire Clowns’ stats* I’m gonna need Hank to get rid of that -3.

Carol, WTF is Bieksa doing?? 22 penalty minutes?? Who does he think he is, Eric Boulton?

Clearly the Canucks love me more than they love you and they want me to win this week.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:43 pm Patty (in Dallas)

What was the skin tag commercial about? How to cure them? Prevent them? Encourage them?
on November 10, 2009 at 10:43 pm mcguffers

Also, I would have appreciated Yahoo telling me Shea Weber was back in the lineup tonight!

Wait what?! Oh mother effer!!

And I’d appreciate Yahoo recognizing that Bolland being out 3-4 months doesn’t mean he’s out “day to day”.

John Michael Liles could be dead for all I know, but his rigamortis is DTD.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:46 pm Schnookie

How to cure them? Prevent them? Encourage them?

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Yeah, it was for a skin tag cultivation kit. :P (It was for a Dr Scholls skin tag zapper. Which will help keep your schoolgirl daughter from being repulsed by your hideousness.)

John Michael Liles could be dead for all I know, but his rigamortis is DTD.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on November 10, 2009 at 10:49 pm mcguffers

Clearly the Canucks love me more than they love you and they want me to win this week.

I was about to completely agree then I noticed Willie Mitchell has 12 penalty minutes. What the hell was going on at that game, Carol?

Just wait, Meg. The Clowns may not have a strong start, but… they don’t have a strong finish either.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:51 pm Myra

Which will help keep your schoolgirl daughter from being repulsed by your hideousness.

It will take more than that, let me assure you.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:53 pm Meg

Just wait, Meg. The Clowns may not have a strong start, but… they don’t have a strong finish either.

Heh . . . the Kleptos goaltending has both sucked and blown thus far this season so I think you’re OK.
on November 10, 2009 at 10:57 pm Schnookie

It will take more than that, let me assure you.

:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Heh . . . the Kleptos goaltending has both sucked and blown thus far this season so I think you’re OK.

:^:::::::::::::::: I dunno, Meg — the Fire Clowns were pretty terrible when I played them a few weeks ago. :P
on November 10, 2009 at 11:02 pm mcguffers

It will take more than that, let me assure you.

It’s always fun to grab the picture of my mom’s swollen feet when she was pregnant with me and say, “For the love of God, what happened there?? How did you move your feet without the use of ankles?! Were you able to wear shoes or did you just waddle around with your hobbit feet?”

Kleptos goaltending has both sucked and blown thus far this season so I think you’re OK.

The only reason I beat Carol’s goalies last week was because she had two benched and one on IR.

the Fire Clowns were pretty terrible when I played them a few weeks ago.

And she cheats…
on November 10, 2009 at 11:05 pm Schnookie

The only reason I beat Carol’s goalies last week was because she had two benched and one on IR.

:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Baby steps.

(And yes, I do cheat.)
on November 10, 2009 at 11:07 pm Meg

And she cheats…

Hah! Why does that not surprise me?
on November 10, 2009 at 11:15 pm mcguffers

And she starts off the week going “The Too Oranges are soooo bad that any team who loses to them sucks at life.” Then proceeded to kick my ass 15- -4. They actually added categories that week for me to lose in. Like “Number of Times Player Ran Into Zamboni” and “Number of Times Player Forgot to Put on Jersey”.
on November 10, 2009 at 11:24 pm Schnookie

Hah! Why does that not surprise me?

Ouch! I didn’t realize I was that transparent — I thought I was able to hide that side of me when I’m online… :P

They actually added categories that week for me to lose in. Like “Number of Times Player Ran Into Zamboni” and “Number of Times Player Forgot to Put on Jersey”.

Okay, for starters, I think if your players have as hard a time not skating into the Zamboni or being able to put on their clothes as yours do, you should be penalized for it. And secondly, I’m the one who sends andrew his hookers and blow, so shouldn’t I be rewarded for that?
on November 10, 2009 at 11:30 pm Myra's Hub

It will take more than that, let me assure you.

If you want to repluse the Kid, just talk to her friends about what she did as a yound child.
on November 10, 2009 at 11:31 pm Myra's Hub

yound child.

How about young child
on November 10, 2009 at 11:34 pm Schnookie

I’m sure the Kid’s yound childhood is even more mortifying than her young one! :P
on November 10, 2009 at 11:48 pm mcguffers

My yound childhood files are sealed.

I’m the one who sends andrew his hookers and blow, so shouldn’t I be rewarded for that?

Neither you nor our commissioner are getting rewarded while I have a dead guy who’s DTD and a guy who’s on IR actually playing tonight.

Time for bed! Hope everyone’s 11/10/09 (<- hee!) was pleasant and Happy Veteran's Day!
on November 11, 2009 at 12:29 am carolbrowne

The only reason I beat Carol’s goalies last week was because she had two benched and one on IR.

The hell? Oh crap. I’m not doing well with the “changing up the lines” thing. UGH!!!
on November 11, 2009 at 1:21 am carolbrowne

I just de-benched my goalies. There will be hell to pay! And I dumped Jarko Ruutu. I’m on the right track now!
on November 11, 2009 at 5:58 am Frisby

I’m the one who sends andrew his hookers and blow, so shouldn’t I be rewarded for that?

Wow, I can’t believe how low you’ve sunk. I’m the one that paid for the hookers and blow. You just whited out “Frisby” on the From: line and wrote “Schnookie” over it. Gah! I bet you do that with Christmas presents too.