One of the really wonderful things about being a sports fan is that you never know what’s going to happen in any given season. Now that a reasonably substantial chunk of hockey has been played in the ’09-’10 season, it seems like we can start looking at the bigger picture and thinking about what have been the biggest surprises for us in the early going.
SURPRISE #1: We actually like what Jacques Lemaire has done with the Devils. We can be gracious and admit that we were wrong about him (so far). Now, we keep hearing that the non-Devils feeds of Devils games spend the better part of their time fixating angrily on how trappy the Devils are, and we’ve gleefully read through many a sour-grapes comment thread on opposing team blogs where the fans of the teams that are losing to the Devils bitch (to the point of giving the Devils all their marbles) to high heaven about the trap. But just how Stephen Colbert says he doesn’t see race, we don’t see the trap. Seriously. We never notice it. Not when the Devils are playing it. Not when the Devils’ opponents are playing it. We barely notice it when the announcers point it out during games. It’s so prevalent that we kind of just don’t care about it. We just care about the Devils not ossifying like they did at the end of Lemaire’s last go-round in New Jersey, and were terrified we’d see that right out of the gate this year. And what a pleasant surprise — they’re sassy! The defense (before they all got injured) jumps up into plays a billion times more often than they did under Sutter’s regime. The forwards still seem to go into the offensive zone, but they also know how to play in their defensive zone, unlike during Sutter’s regime. Hell, they even score into empty nets! We know we’ve already apologized to Lemaire in this space once, but we’re happy to do it again today. Are the Devils peaking too soon, and we’ll spend March and April wistfully recalling the heady days of the November Juggernaut? Probably, but that’s to be worried about in March and April. For now, we’re just going to keep luxuriating in the deliciousness of the sassy, injury-overcoming, pleasantly-surprising, youngster-heavy Devils.
SURPRISE #2: David Clarkson, Niklas Bergfors and Andy Greene. None of those guys are emperor-gods quite yet, but they are all definitely the regionally recognized demi-emperor-gods in outlying tropical-paradise islands. Like, AcornsNations Cruise Lines does a steady business sending the citizens of AcornNations on weeklong, all-inclusive tours of the AcornsNation Clarkson Islands and the such. Of course, Bergfors Islands better not get too comfortable as a PaulieMartinNation protectorate, because PaulieMartinNation is not afraid to abandon Bergfors Islands’ sorry ass if need be.
SURPRISE #3: During Thursday night’s open thread, IPB Irregular EJGRgunner made a startling discovery — the missing piece in getting Bergfors to ascend to emperor-god status is that he’s not the Swedish Chef. In unrelated Bergfors news, Jacques Lemaire told TG over at Fire & Ice that Bergfors had a crappy game because Zach Parise has superstar offensive talent but also works harder than anyone on playing defense so why can’t Bergfors. Thanks to our superior skills at investigative reporting and the press passes we received for being such professional Devils bloggers, we were able to procure video tape of the confrontation that followed between Bergfors and Zach’s representative.
SURPRISE #4: Tonight we were watching the Blue Jackets (our new Tranny Gentleman Callers, which is a surprise in and unto itself) playing the Ducks, and at one point RustyKlesla injured himself on a play that strongly resembled this:
This prompted the BJs announcers to launch into the “shocking, unheard-of number of injuries in the NHL” angle, in which they started gnashing their teeth and pulling out their hair over how injuries could possibly be taken out of the game. When thinking about solving the problem of injuries like RustyKlesla’s, we were surprised to realize that we know exactly how to fix the game:
1. Remove the banana peels from the trapezoid. Without the ability to obstruct those banana peels, defensemen are helpless to keep them from carpeting that area of the ice.
2. Replace the boards with haybales.
3. Replace the stanchions with pipe cleaners.
4. Replace the glass with that see-through bouncy castle window material.
These are changes that could be put into effect immediately, without altering the rulebook. If the GMs want to consider expanding on it, perhaps they can reach an agreement by the start of next season to just replace all the league’s rinks entirely with bouncy castles. We think this is a fantastic idea, and wonder why more people haven’t been talking about it.
Another triumph for Boxworthy!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The Swedish Chef and Boxworthy. Who knew?!
Boxworthy is unbeatable. Heh.
And you should have heard the two of us shrieking with laughter when we found that clip last night. We both vividly remembered the lobster banditos, but not the turtle tank. :D
GAH! Kovy has TWO goals tonight. I took too long to decide whom to drop so I could take him off IR. I don’t know why I’m clinging to Hagman. Probably because I want him back on the Stars.
I didn’t remember the turtle tank, either. Or the banana peel scene from Sleeper. :D
You STILL didn’t have Kovalchuk activated? What is WRONG with you? :P
As for the Sleeper scene, I was sitting there scouring YouTube for clips of slipping on banana peels. Then I turned to Pookie and asked, “What’s an iconic ‘slipping on a banana peel’ clip?” Then, “OH RIGHT!” Heh. I realize we’ve now linked to two Woody Allen clips in the last month. That is making us look much more conversant in Woody Allen movies than we really are. :P
I love the turtle tank! The rest of the team had better watch out lest Zach deploy his weapon of turtle destruction on them.
Also, Gumby is in attendance at the Sabres game, and Mirtle has flipped his lid and is doing nothing but quoting Anchorman on Twitter. I know it’s Friday the 13th and all, but this is weird.
The rest of the team had better watch out lest Zach deploy his weapon of turtle destruction on them.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Zach’s like, “Who’s Robin now, Travis!” Also, “I’d like to see you TRY to give back your half of the BFF locket.” Poor Travis.
The rest of the team had better watch out lest Zach deploy his weapon of turtle destruction on them.
That’s what she said!
Mirtle has flipped his lid and is doing nothing but quoting Anchorman on Twitter
Oh wow. Drunk? Hacked? I’m leaning heavily towards drunk.
I’m sure LA’s Quick, who was pulled with only three goals against, is saying to Ersberg, “Not so easy, is it?”
Can another Sabres fan confirm or deny something for me? My ears may have been playing tricks on me, but I’m pretty sure I heard Harry Neale actually utter the name Jonathan Choochoo during the last intermission. Twice.
On the other hand, I know he called MacArthur McKinley earlier. Oh, Harry…
On the other hand, I know he called MacArthur McKinley earlier. Oh, Harry…
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I hope he’s subscribing to Doc’s advice — don’t worry about the misspoken phrases on air, because they’re on their way to Mars already. :P
Actually RJ corrected him immediately. You know you’re in trouble when the guy who resolutely used the pronunciation “Spa-chuck” for three years even though he knew it was wrong is calling you on your mistakes.
Gambler, Cheechoo is now Choochoo. I missed the McKinley/MacArthur switch. Generals, presidents, they’re all the same.
On the other hand, I know he called MacArthur McKinley earlier. Oh, Harry…
I heard McIntire. I think we can safely assume he said both.
I don’t know I’m listening to the Flames announcers. I hadn’t realized we were still considering Kipper one of the best goalies in the NHL but boy have they corrected that assumption tonight.
Actually Kathleen, I think you’re right. I was very insecure typing McKinley, but just knew that it was some Mc name that wasn’t even close to MacArthur. Let’s just assume that he’ll call him McKinley eventually somewhere down the line.
Crunchy! Crunchy! Crunchy!!!!!!!!!!
I hadn’t realized we were still considering Kipper one of the best goalies in the NHL but boy have they corrected that assumption tonight.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I’m so glad the Jackets are this year’s Tranny Gentleman Callers! They were quite enjoyable last night, I am assuming they knew I was staying up late for them (10 o’ clock is totally late, guys) and decided to be sassy for me.
I am really enjoying them so far this year, from tiny scrappy Dorsett to Vorcek’s hideous hair.
Hey, Karen! We’re still in the very early, early stages of Tranny Gentlemen Callers with them. Basically we’ve established that we love, love, love Rick Nash, Chimera’s a punk, and Voracek’s pretty adorable.