We had grand plans for an hilarious post tonight in which we would take a practice citizenship test in honor of Marty becoming a US citizen today. Pookie helps a lot of patrons at the library with their practice materials for the test, and she reported that she would never pass it if she had to take it. Then we read on Fire & Ice that not many of the American Devils were able to answer many of the practice questions, so we became positive that a look at the hapless failures of Americans to understand basic civics and history would make for a riotous post.
Then we took a sample test, with 100 questions (the real test is only 10).
And we kicked that test’s ass.
It wasn’t funny at all. But on the bright side, we feel confident that we are at least as smart as Andy Greene.
Good for you, Ookies! Who knew you guys were such patriots. So when do you get to prove that you deserve your various Nation (PaulieMartin-, Pando-, etc.) citizenships? Something tells me those tests are considerably more difficult.
And don’t you just hate it when a hilarious idea for a post turns out to not be so hilarious? That happens to me… pretty much every post.
By the way, where exactly does one obtain a citizenship sample test? I might just be bored enough to try it.
And don’t you just hate it when a hilarious idea for a post turns out to not be so hilarious? That happens to me… pretty much every post.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Yeah, I figure everyone is going to read this and be like, “Wait, how is this different from any other so-called ‘funny’ post you’ve written before?” :P
And yes, the PandoNation and AcornsNation tests are EXTREMELY difficult. We don’t let just anybody carry our passports. Unlike ClarksonNation.
By the way, where exactly does one obtain a citizenship sample test?
I got the test questions from a database called “Learning Express Library”. Your local public library might have it, and you’d just need your library card to access it for free. Gambler, here’s a link to the database as offered by Hennepin County Library: LEARNING EXPRESS LIBRARY FOR TWIN CITIES READERS.
And by the way, this Columbus/Chicago shootout is hilarious. We are well past the skill levels on the benches, and now it’s just hands of cement vs. hands of cement. This is the only time I like shootouts. And I’m not going to lie — I love when it gets like this. It’s like the scrubs are all just not even trying, hoping to get their turns over with as quickly as possible and get things back around to the fancy shooters.
Gambler, here’s a link to the database as offered by Hennepin County Library:
Aw, thanks, Pookie! I’m actually in Ramsey county (I have no idea who thought it was a good idea to put Minneapolis and St Paul in two different counties–it seems way unnecessary) and haven’t gotten around to getting my library card yet, though I keep talking about it (I figure I just need another month or so of procrastination), but I’ll keep Learning Express Library in mind!
Schnookie, I love shootouts like that, too! It’s the only time I ever get to see Yo-Yo attempt a shootout, and it’s so sad and hilarious.
Hawks/CBJ went to ELEVEN. Kopecky ended up inside the net. Hilarious.
Everytime I see something about Hennepin County (admittedly, not all that often) I think “Mmm… beer.”
I had no idea! I just assumed Hennepin County encompassed both Minneapolis and St. Paul. Huh! You learn something new everyday! More cultural learnings through hockey (blogs)!
It’s the only time I ever get to see Yo-Yo attempt a shootout, and it’s so sad and hilarious.
Hm. When you put it that way, and I think about how cringingly awful it would be to see Pando in a shootout, maybe I only like when the long ones happen to other teams… :P
NO ONE is as smart as Andy Greene. Andy Greene merely plays dumb, for us mortals would not be able to handle his true brilliance at any given time.
“Who is as smart as Andy Greene?” and “Would you be able to handle the true brilliance of Andy Greene” are on the sample test for GreeneNation citizenship. That and “Name three American Indian tribes”.
I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT!
1. No one
2. Of course not, my liege.
3. Lenape, Cheroke, and Greeneakee.
Booyah.
I’m such a good American, and GreeneNational.
3. Lenape, Cheroke, and Greeneakee.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It’s very trendy in GreeneNation to claim Greeneakee lineage.
Greeneakee
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: And Lenape? You’re such a good Jerseyian!
Good morning!
I would have loved to take the “Are you smarter than the average Devil” test too!
Hey Ookies, it turns out you were totally right about Jay Leach. Remember the “Meh” defenseman the habs claimed on waivers from the devils a few weeks ago? Well he played 7 games, and was claimed on waivers by San Jose yesterday. That was nice to meet you, Jay Leach!
And yes, the PandoNation and AcornsNation tests are EXTREMELY difficult. We don’t let just anybody carry our passports. Unlike ClarksonNation.
Yeah, the ClarksonNation test only has one question: Are you too orange? If you answer no (and we will know if you are lying) and can print your last name, first name and middle initial in the appropriate boxes and fill in the corresponding circles for each letter with a #23 pencil, you are in like Flin.
Oh, and for the record, while those in New Jersey may be able watch tonight’s game on MSG, people in other parts of the country will have to watch on NHL Network (and are SOL if they don’t have NHLN(US) and work second shift so they won’t be able catch a pirate feed over the interweb thingy either). *hint**hint*
Are you too orange? If you answer no (and we will know if you are lying)
Oooooh, them be fighting words! Good thing the emperor god of PaulieMartinNation will probably be back soon! The only question on that citizenship test is “Goldy — best college mascot or bestest college mascot?”
Frisby, I’m sorry you’re going to miss the game; I am, too. I had to switch late nights with someone, but I figure every single Devils-Vancouver game in the history of the universe has been unbearably dull, so I won’t be missing out. So… Expect the greatest game of the season to be played tonight!
Yeah, the ClarksonNation test only has one question: Are you too orange? If you answer no (and we will know if you are lying) and can print your last name, first name and middle initial in the appropriate boxes and fill in the corresponding circles for each letter with a #23 pencil, you are in like Flin.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Dammit, I can’t do any of those things! Rats!!
Grrrreg, I saw that about Jay Leach moving on to the West Coast. Well, I’m glad you enjoyed your too-brief time with him, and just think — at this rate, he’ll be back in a couple of seasons after making the rounds with every team! :D
And Frisby, that is SUCH a bummer about the game tonight! We’re actually in a bit of a weird bind about blogging it because Pookie’s working late tonight, and she’s green-lit us to watch it without her. So we’ll see what happens. Last time she missed a game during her late shift, it was awesome, so we’re hoping to capture some of that magic again. Normally when we tivo the games and watch them later, they suck.
Hey! I just had to pop on this morning and say you will never guess what we had here in Big D this morning!
SNOW!!!
It was too warm to stick to the roads so we had to go to work. It was pretty cool driving to work with these big ole snow flakes falling!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! SNOW?????? I’m SO jealous! I have been PROMISED snow this weekend, though. PROMISED. ::Glares at sky::
That’s awesome that you have snow, Myra! When it’s falling (and not sticking) is when I like snow the best.
Wait, now my friends in Dallas have snow and I don’t?!?!?! Buffalo is one thing but DALLAS?!?!?!?!
I know, DALLAS?!? But it didn’t stick and turned to rain now, so it’s pretty much all gone. Driving in it was so pretty, though!
But it didn’t stick and turned to rain now, so it’s pretty much all gone.
That’s how our snow normally is, so you’re not succeeding in shrugging it off, Myra! :P
Congrats to Marty on his US citizenship! I’m not sure how I would do at this point on the test. I have forgotten so much. We watched “National Treasure: Book of Secrets” this weekend and Grace was telling me stuff that I was like, “I know I’ve never heard this before?!?” Scary.
***Bragging Parent Alert***
Speaking of the Kid, she took her first practice SAT and got the results back last night. (Yes, I’m one of those kinds of parents. I feel like I’m committing child abuse.) She scored the same as an average high school senior and she is in 7th grade. Thank you, that is my genetic material.
Hello to All!
I can’t believe it snowed in Dallas!
Myra, they make kids take PSAT’s in 7th grade now?
I gotta try that citizenship test…
She scored the same as an average high school senior and she is in 7th grade. Thank you, that is my genetic material.
Ooooh! Congratulations to Kid, and to you and Hub, Myra! You three are so brainy! :D
As for our knowledge of US history and civics, Boomer was running laps around Pookie and me, so sadly, there was no child-showing-up-the-parent for us. Except term limits. Boomer was WAY off when it came to how long Representative and Senators are elected for. She’s so STUPID! :P
As for our knowledge of US history and civics, Boomer was running laps around Pookie and me, so sadly, there was no child-showing-up-the-parent for us.
My dad would destroy us on those types of questions too!
how long Representative and Senators are elected for
Reps are 2 and Senators are 6. No limit to how many terms they can serve.
Reps are 2 and Senators are 6. No limit to how many terms they can serve.
Amy, you are officially smarter than Boomer! :D (She said four and seven, respectively. Sheesh, Boomer. That’s just embarrassing. Heh.) (For the record, Boomer has a master’s degree in “modern European history”, which, as she loves to point out, is really no longer modern at all. Nowadays, I think we’d just consider her subject area of expertise to be, say, mid-20th-century. :D)
Myra, they make kids take PSAT’s in 7th grade now?
No, it’s part of the gifted & talented program in our school district. You have to be invited to do it. That is why I feel a little like an abusive parent. She didn’t have to do it. We made her. We don’t usually go in for that kind of stuff but we have the lofty goal of “National Merit” in mind. I fully think she can do it, if we don’t burn her out before hand.
Sigh. Sometimes even good stuff can suck as a parent.
I may have to seek out one of those citizenship tests online. This could be fun.
I fully think she can do it, if we don’t burn her out before hand.
Good luck to The Kid.
I’m not sure how I would do at this point on the test. I have forgotten so much.
Are you this bad, Myra? Last month I was working one on one with a boy in a fifth grade classroom, and when I was helping him label a map of the states, I had to double check with the ten-year-old sitting next to me that I was right about Kansas and Nebraska. Turns out I was right, but not confident enough to overrule a fifth grader. Fail.
That is why I feel a little like an abusive parent. She didn’t have to do it. We made her.
My parents made me do that in 7th grade, too, and look how I turned out! You’re not at all abusive — Kid will thank you for it later! :D (I remember thinking I was such hot shit after taking the SAT in 7th grade, and then I found out that, like, my entire class had, and I wasn’t special at all. Stupid overachieving classmates. They ruin everything!)
Turns out I was right, but not confident enough to overrule a fifth grader. Fail.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: If I was in that position, I would just have the kids label everything in that area as “Flyover Country”. :P
If I was in that position, I would just have the kids label everything in that area as “Flyover Country”. :P
Hahahaha! Strangely enough, the area of the country I have the most trouble with is the one I was born and raised in: the northeast. I can just never remember what all of those little states are up there. And while I know Massachusetts by sight, for some reason whenever I picture it in my head I put it way south of where it actually is. It always blows my mind that Boston is north of NYC. Luckily he had all those states labeled before I got there, though, so I didn’t have to embarrass myself.
Gambler, I have to do states by process of elimination. I start out with ones I know for sure and then fill in the blanks. Sometimes it works better than others.
And you take pretty much everything you ever learned about math and through it out the window. Nothing is the same anymore.
Schnookie, did you do the Duke program? That’s what this is. If this were the actual test, she would have qualified based on her reading score. But I’m not sending her to Duke University for the summer, no matter how smart she is.
I think we may have to check out the citizenship test as well. I’m quite certain the Kid will pulverize us but it should be fun.
Myra, congratulations to Brainy Kid! I pretty much bombed the SAT (by my school’s and family’s standards). The guidance counsellor was like, “You’re going to have to take it again.” Then I said, “Well, I’m only applying to theater schools.” She waved her hand dismissively and said, “Well, then, just forget it.” And that was the end of my college guidance. Heh. Gotta love the path of least resistance, right?
As for the States, I think I told this story already, but recently a customer called and asked how many states there are. I could only hear the librarian’s side of the call. “50. No, no there are 50. No, I’m pretty sure there are 50. What? 51? Well… Maybe? Hold on. [Turns to the rest of us: "There are 50 states, right?" Us: "Uh.... yeah. Wait, 51, really? I guess that could sound right..." Long pause. All: No, it's gotta be 50."] Heh heh heh.
Strangely enough, the area of the country I have the most trouble with is the one I was born and raised in: the northeast. I can just never remember what all of those little states are up there.
The Northeast is like the Silent Killer of geography testing. Who can know which one’s New Hampshire and which one’s Vermont? ::Tosses hands in disgust:: WHO??? And yeah, I agree that Massachussetts seems like it should be further south than it really is.
But I’m not sending her to Duke University for the summer, no matter how smart she is.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I don’t remember what the program I was supposedly applying for was. What was it called, Pookie? CTA? Does that ring a bell? I remember that most of the kids in my class took the SATs and scored highly enough to get into those summer programs, but none of us did them. Isn’t that a helpful story? :P (Oh, and for the record, there was no “National Merit” for me. :D)
I don’t remember what the program I was supposedly applying for was. What was it called, Pookie? CTA?
CTY. Camp for Talented Youth. I know this for two reasons. 1. I never got accepted to it. 2. Neither did my Russian class buddy, Rob, who decided he was bitter enough that everyone else in the class (aside from the two of us) did that he doodled a logo for CBK — Camp for Brilliant Kids — and pinned it to his t-shirt for a day.
And you take pretty much everything you ever learned about math and through it out the window. Nothing is the same anymore.
Well, to be fair, everything I learned about math in grade school I learned from making piles of acorns, so nothing was ever the same as the way I learned it.
But yeah, math class was where I felt the least smarter than a 5th grader. Because not only did I have to do quick mental math to check if he was right (which I could never do), but also if I wanted to help him correct a mistake, the way I would correct it is so different from the way that he was taught that he would just end up more confused. It was almost easier just to let him be wrong.
Not to mention that this was a German Immersion school and my B.A. in German left me woefully unprepared when it came to math vocabulary. I could have written you a semi-intelligent paper about Goethe and the German identity, but when forced to say “6 divided by 3″ and I was totally stuck.
Pookie, :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Well, to be fair, everything I learned about math in grade school I learned from making piles of acorns, so nothing was ever the same as the way I learned it.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Everything I learned about math I learned from Barbie. Math is hard, yo. :P
Everything I learned about math I learned from Barbie. Math is hard, yo. :P
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Who needs math when your dream is to be an Ice Girl? You just need to be able to count to 8. Two more numbers and I’ve reached my goal!!
My dad was complaining that kids aren’t knowledgeable enough in history now a days. I reminded him that “history” stopped for him in the 50′s and a lot of stuff has happened since then that today’s kids have to learn. But I’m really bad at history so I couldn’t name any examples.
Math is hard, yo. :P
I can’t do arithmetic in my head. I still can’t do long division. My 4th grade teacher let me use the “ladder method” as a crutch.
But I’ve aced 4 semesters of undergrad calculus and 2 semesters of graduate applied math.
Myra-
When I was in 7th Grade I too took a practice SAT, I too scored as well as an average high schooler, and I too like the Ookies have turned out to be “special”.
In fairness, while I was in AP classes, my name got pulled out of a hat for the SAT thing. I was told that I was part of a program to determine if the SAT’s were too easy.
BTW I don’t even remember how to execute the ladder method!
Who needs math when your dream is to be an Ice Girl? You just need to be able to count to 8. Two more numbers and I’ve reached my goal!!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: You’re so much smarter than me, mcguggs. I still haven’t learned how to count how many more numbers I need to get to 8.
I reminded him that “history” stopped for him in the 50’s and a lot of stuff has happened since then that today’s kids have to learn. But I’m really bad at history so I couldn’t name any examples.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Boomer volunteers to read textbooks on tape for Recording for the Blind & Dyslexic, so she reports back on all the various subjects she’s had to read about on any given week. One of her favorite textbooks to laugh at was a high school history book that literally covered the ENTIRE Civil War on TWO PAGES. That was the WHOLE THING. Vietnam was handled in one paragraph. Now that’s how to learn history! :P
I wasn’t smart enough for academic enrichment or gifted-n-talented. I did get into honors classes though.
Val’s grade school guidance counselor thought she was too meek and timid for honors. Val is getting a PhD in molecular biology from Princeton next week. Suck it, guidance counselor!
But I’m really bad at history so I couldn’t name any examples.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::: I was always really bad at history in high school, and now anything I learned there has been taken over by German history. I know on exactly which dates the Berlin wall went up and came down, but the only reason I know what year JFK was assassinated is because of Mad Men. (Hey look, there’s a post-1950 example for you! Woo!)
Val is getting a PhD in molecular biology from Princeton next week. Suck it, guidance counselor!
WOO HOO! Congrats to Val! (My guidance counselor was pretty spot-on about me. She told me I wasn’t going to be happy with any of the schools I applied to, assured me I wouldn’t get into most of them, and gently advised me that I come off as glib. Right on all counts! :D)
but the only reason I know what year JFK was assassinated is because of Mad Men.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I did get into honors classes though.
Same here. I even took college classes in high school, which meant I technically could have graduated from college in seven semesters. But I hung around for the full 8 because of two stupid honors classes I needed.
Ok, I don’t feel quite so abusive as a mom now. Maybe I’ll have Gracie read today’s comments! See! All these people turned out fine!
On second thought………….
Val is getting a PhD in molecular biology from Princeton next week. Suck it, guidance counselor!
I took one of those tests that told me I was going to be a Forest Ranger or a Lab Tech. My guidance counselor said it meant I would probably do well in a setting where I could work alone. I think she meant I’d always be unpopular.
but the only reason I know what year JFK was assassinated is because of Mad Men.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Who said tv isn’t educational?!
I still haven’t learned how to count how many more numbers I need to get to 8.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: We’ll work on it next practice! (… again.)
Maybe I’ll have Gracie read today’s comments! See! All these people turned out fine!
On second thought………….
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Yeah, I’m not sure we’re exactly the group you’d want your kid to grow up to be. :P
I think she meant I’d always be unpopular.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
We’ll work on it next practice! (… again.)
GAWD! We’re always working on numbers! It’s been, like, ONE times we’ve worked on that!
(Unrelatedly, I keep staring out the window to will it to snow. It’s like in March when I’m desperately trying to make buds appear on the trees. And about as effective.)
Who said tv isn’t educational?!
Exactly. How many of us know that Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton just from watching that commercial for milk a couple years back.
How many of us know that Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton just from watching that commercial for milk a couple years back.
I loved that commercial. That commercial stands as one of my very favorites of all time. (Um, I’m not pathetic, am I? Wait, don’t answer that.)
And Aaron Burr is buried in Princeton! So in case anyone was wondering if any IPB Irregulars live not far from his gravesite, as I’m sure you all were, the answer is yes. :P
How many of us know that Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton just from watching that commercial for milk a couple years back.
There was a milk commercial about that? I just know it from that line in the Lazy Sunday video: “You can call me Aaron Burr for the way I’m droppin’ Hamiltons!” Heh.
There was a milk commercial about that?
Yeah. The gist of the commercial was that a guy was trying to call into a radio station contest with the answer to “who shot Alexander Hamilton.” Because he had just taken a bite of a PB sandwich, all that comes out is “Aaron Buhhhh.”
I know when JFK was shot because it was the day before my first birthday.
**Wonders if should reveal age/birthdate…nah, they can’t do math, so they’ll never figure it out.**
**Wonders if should reveal age/birthdate…nah, they can’t do math, so they’ll never figure it out.**
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: And I would never scoff at your age, Myra. I’ve come to realize recently that my birthdate is now long enough ago that I am creeping into “glass house” territory. No throwing stones about other peoples’ ages! :D
I loved that commercial. That commercial stands as one of my very favorites of all time. (Um, I’m not pathetic, am I? Wait, don’t answer that.)
No, that commercial was brilliant.
I think the only history date I reliably remember is 1066 and. I majored in history so that’s kind of sad but I figure I’m just not numbers oriented. (I can give you ballpark dates for various other things but oooh am I not exact.
My aunt taught gifted and talented classes for awhile and always liked to tell anxious parents that her son who didn’t get into those programs was doing great and her son who was in the gifted program was 25, living in her basement, and had yet to work at a real job. Heh.
1066, the Battle of Hastings, right? It had a large impact on language or something like that…
Amy, it was called the Middle College program, where you could earn college credit it HS. That was great! Those extra credits helped me stay ahead of everyone and register early to get into the good sections! As far as the HS courses, well they were useless for my major.
My aunt taught gifted and talented classes for awhile and always liked to tell anxious parents that her son who didn’t get into those programs was doing great and her son who was in the gifted program was 25, living in her basement, and had yet to work at a real job. Heh.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That’s fantastic! I bet all those “talented youths” are now pumping gas for a living. Or, if they’re in Jersey, are unemployed. :P
Um. Ok. Not making me feel better now.
I was bitter at the time that some of my friends were in GNT (short for gifted-n-talented, as they called it. Lame, I know). I think you find out at some point later in life that that stuff never really mattered.
GNT (short for gifted-n-talented, as they called it. Lame, I know).
No shit. How gifted and talented are they if they can’t even be bothered to spell “and” with all three of its letters?
Myra, if the kid is performing at a HS level on the PSAT, that’s great! That will probably translate to an even better score on the real SAT when she’s older, which is good for college. What’s not to feel good about?
Nevermind whatever being in “gifted and talented” means. The PSAT is something tangible, which is nice.
Gambler,
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Val’s grade school guidance counselor thought she was too meek and timid for honors. Val is getting a PhD in molecular biology from Princeton next week. Suck it, guidance counselor!
Congradulations to Val!!! An accomplishment of intellect and endurance.
OK, what was that guidance counselor thinking? What does personality have to do with honors classes? In fact I would suggest that most timid intellegent child will do better in advanced classes as they can better relate to their classmates.
I grew up in a very small town so all these gifted and talented programs are totally new to me. I have nothing to gauge them by. So far we have just taken the stance of “let’s give it a try and see what happens.”
And I agree with Hub, it seems like a lot of the kids in these honors classes are just that. Timid and intelligent. What was the counselor smoking?
Myra’s Hub, that’s a good question. Val was quiet and kind of shy, so somehow that meant she wasn’t smart enough to handle honors classes? Meanwhile, I was a little bit of an outgoing smart ass (who occassionally got in trouble), so I had what it takes?
I’ll never forget that guidance counselor, her name was Mrs. Simon, and she had a habit of making jewelry out of garbage that she found. Some old nuts and bolts make a great necklace!
——————-
OFF TOPIC: Val and I got Colin White’s autograph last night at the Livingston Mall, and I couldn’t help but notice that his fly was open as he got up and took pictures with people!
I’ll never get guidance councelors. In my senior year of high school, I informed my GC that I wanted to go to college for theatre, and he suggested I try the Navy.
I should mention that in high school, after freshman year, Val switched into the honors classes, but was behind the rest of her honors classmates because she didn’t start in them. So when I came into HS, she was in my honors classes, which was really weird!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to this entire conversation!
Yeah, I’m not sure we’re exactly the group you’d want your kid to grow up to be. :P
Hey now, we’re all accepted to the Camp for Brilliant Kids! Or at least the IPB CBK.
1066 is one of the few dates I know, too. I took a theater direction class in college and the teacher added “What year was the Norman Conquest” as an extra credit point on a test about “The Skin Of Our Teeth”. I think it was to bring the questions to an even 20 or something. Out of a class 15 I was the only one who got it. I also know the Columbian World Expo was 1893. And that that’s when Frederick Jackson Turner declared the Wild West closed.
1066, the Battle of Hastings, right? It had a large impact on language or something like that…
Yup. Norman Invasion and all that. I remember it because I had to read this Icelandic Saga about the King of Norway who also–if somewhat less famously–invaded England in 1066.
Myra, if it’s comforting, I’m pretty sure my cousin’s problem is not that he was in a gifted program. It’s that he’s got issues that are entirely not school related. And he’s now in grad school so while he’s shown no ability to, say, earn a living, he does at least have an education.
I wanted to go to college for theatre, and he suggested I try the Navy.
Ok, that is beyond bizarre.
Oh wait, Pam’s GC making garbage into jewelry, that is beyond bizarre.
I’m so bored and do not want to do what I’m supposed to be doing. Can anyone tell?
I also know the Columbian World Expo was 1893. And that that’s when Frederick Jackson Turner declared the Wild West closed.
Well, I think if you know that you’re pretty much set for life!
In my senior year of high school, I informed my GC that I wanted to go to college for theatre, and he suggested I try the Navy.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That’s exactly what I would have suggested for you too, Morgan!
*jumping in real quick* I met my HS Guidance Councillor 3 weeks after we moved to Holland. He told me I was doomed to fail everything because I was foreign and could never understand Dutch culture. Then he told my parents I’d become an unemployed junkie because of my lack of focus. That was nice to hear. I never spoke to the man again. I actually refused to go to my careers advice meeting with him and got into a lot of trouble for it.
Anyway, good for the Kid that she got such excellent scores, and GO VAL! That’s awesome!
JFK was assassinated? ah shit.
The garbage jewelry is something that I will most likely never forget!
Anytime she would make an appearance in front of the class, I would be hoping to see her with an old tire, or at least a rusty bottle cap on a string around her neck.
I wanted to go to college for theatre, and he suggested I try the Navy.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: My high school’s guidance program was totally prepared to send you to an Ivy League school or St Lawrence to play hockey. If you didn’t fit either of those profiles, well, too bad for you.
This has nothing to do with anything, but I just got really freaked out as all the tornado sirens in the city went off at once. A tornado in December? Then I remembered that the sirens always go off the first Wednesday of the month at 1:00pm as a kind of test. I’ve always wondered what would happen if a tornado actually struck on the first Wednesday of the month at 1:00pm. We’d all be doomed. And that’s my story.
JFK was assassinated? ah shit.
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I wanted to go to college for theatre, and he suggested I try the Navy.
Absolutely classic. I don’t think that one can be beat.
I’ve always wondered what would happen if a tornado actually struck on the first Wednesday of the month at 1:00pm. We’d all be doomed.
They do a similar thing with the alarms at noon on the first Monday of the month. I always wonder if the terrorists will figure out the pattern and release the awful bio-weapons the sirens are supposed to be warning us against into the air at exactly that time.
JFK was assassinated? ah shit.
Yeah, it just happened, like, three weeks ago! I saw it on Mad Men!
What is it with Guidance counselors? Why are they always incompetant boobs?
My High School GC named me as an alternate to NJ Girls’ State…of course I ended up going. ::shudders::
Granted that’s irrelevant, but he was also a boob.
The only time I ever got called to the Principal’s office was when I got into a yelling match with our Guidance Counselor in between classes out in the hall. Hehehe.
The counselor was like somewhere around 6’5″. I can just see me standing toe to toe with him with my head tilted all the way back to be able to see him eye to eye. (I’m 5’5″)
I was ticked. Unfortunately, so was he. It wasn’t pretty but I did get what I wanted in the end. :)
Myra, the imagery of it is fantastic!
Brad Richards is in studio on the local sports station I listen to. I just know the phones are going to start ringing off the hook just as he come on and I won’t be able to listen.
JFK was assassinated? ah shit.
Yeah, it just happened, like, three weeks ago! I saw it on Mad Men!
his brother better be careful out there.
Ok, this is nuts and so Dallas. They are talking “football” with Brad. WTH?
Was Brad’s response something like: “Yes, I do think Tony Romo sucks, next question…”
Actually, they are talking about the Packers and Brett Farve. Brad is a big Packers fan. I guess if he is ok with it but we get so few interviews with hockey players here, I want to hear about hockey not more freakin football. Argh.
My favourite story about a guidance counselor is from my cousin. After she took a skills test, the guy told her she could maybe become a professional pianist. She had never touched a piano in her life.
When I took the guidance counsellor test thingy I got nun. BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
I don’t actually have any recollection of meeting with my guidance counselor. I must have at some point though.
I did once have to go to the vice-principle’s office because I’d been late to school 3 times that year (by like, 5 minutes) and he wanted to warn me that if I was late another 3 times I’d get detention. I told him I couldn’t believe they’d called me out of class for that. And then I told him that I thought he was wasting my time. The Queen of Tact, right here.
When I took the guidance counsellor test thingy I got nun. BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
The Saskatoon Airport just did a spit take.
Then later in my senior year we had to fill out sheets about our “5 year” plan. I pretended my 5 year plan was to be a prostitute. Good times. I’m surprised my parents didn’t get called in actually…
When I took the guidance counsellor test thingy I got nun.
I had to read that about 15 times before I got it. For some reason the word “nun” kept tripping me up. I don’t think my brain could make the connection between nun and alix. :P
She had never touched a piano in her life.
You’d think that would be a prerequisite.
I’ve always wondered what would happen if a tornado actually struck on the first Wednesday of the month at 1:00pm. We’d all be doomed.
Seeing that a car alarm went off for 27 minutes the other day, I don’t think anyone around here would flinch if a tornado alarm went of at 3 am on a random Thursday. And that’s keeping in mind that I don’t think we have tornado alarms. Or tornadoes.
I pretended my 5 year plan was to be a prostitute.
At least it’s profitable.
The Saskatoon Airport just did a spit take.
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I never took one of those job aptitude things, but I hope if I did it would have told me that I’d be best at being a librarian who tells her customers to go to Starbucks for the wifi because the library’s connection sucks. Heh.
I’d be best at being a librarian who tells her customers to go to Starbucks for the wifi because the library’s connection sucks.
$352 for a cup of coffee, and I better get good wifi. In fact, I should get a man servant to type for me. A cute man servant.
And if it makes you guys feel better, I did some Habs blog surfing and apparently Gomez is Satan. His contract will condemn all Habs fans’ souls to Hell. The loss against the Leafs was Judgment Day.
Gomez is Satan.
This is news?
His contract will condemn all Habs fans’ souls to Hell.
Since he originally signed it with the Rangers, and the Habs took the money of the Rangers’ payroll thereby important the Rangers evil, yeah, that’s pretty much true.
The loss against the Leafs was Judgment Day.
Your 0-10 Toronto Maple Leafs! Hockey’s equivalent of the salmon mousse!
important
The huh? IMPORTING, Mags. I know it’s nearly midnight, but honestly!
Since he originally signed it with the Rangers, and the Habs took the money of the Rangers’ payroll thereby important the Rangers evil, yeah, that’s pretty much true.
That’s a great point!
wooooooooo! Devils Canucks! Who’s excited!
Oh Mags, thanks for the 5 reasons love on your blog. Totally sweet of you.
Who’s excited!
Yeah, I got this warm fuzzy feeling! I’m not sure if it’s sleep deprivation, nausea or excitement though.
And you’re welcome, Alix. I really did think they were 5 great reasons! (I have a leftover portion of veggie pot pie. It’s got your name on it!)
Oh, alix, thanks for reminding me — thank you for the shoutout in your 5 reasons! It was so sweet! As for Devils-Canucks, Canucks drool! Devils rool!
Mmmmmmm. Pot pie! Hooray!
I did love the guy that told me I should get back to sucking d1ck and making sammiches…
(Sorry Saskatoon airport)
I did love the guy that told me I should get back to sucking d1ck and making sammiches…
I saw that you caught some heat in the comments, yeah. That one was particularly Klassy.