In light of his recent ramblings about how he’s washing his hands of any leadership role for the Flyers, IPB conducted an interview with Chris Pronger to see what other passhole-aggresshole thoughts he had about his new team. These were his unedited thoughts.
I’d love to play something other than N*SYNC on the team stereo, but I don’t want to step on Matt Carle’s toes. I’m walking a fucking tightrope here, but at the end of the day, it’s Carle’s iPod.
I’d be all over giving the blandest, least inspiring interviews on the team, but I don’t want to step on Jeff Carter’s toes.
I’d step up to be the player whose implosion derails the entire team in April, but I don’t want to step of Ray Emery’s toes.
I’d enter that “ugliest guy not wearing any mask, make-up, or costume” Halloween contest, but I don’t want to step on Dan Carcillo’s toes.
Sure, I’d be willing to be the guy who gets credit for being smart even though he isn’t just because he played for an Ivy League school, but I don’t want to step on Darrol Powe’s toes. Also, I couldn’t get into Princeton.
I realize that our team is short on severe head injuries this season, and I could really chip in with my head-height elbows in that regard, but I don’t want to step on the toes of our training staff. I think they can take care of reckless endangerment of our heads all on their own.
Of course, I’d like the team to start winning hockey games, but I don’t want to step on John Stevens’ toes.
And in that vein, I could do something to improve our shitty power play and PK, but I don’t want to step on the special team coaches’ toes. I just want to be a respectful contributor to this team. I think those guys have a better sense of the history here.
Just the way I’m not going to tell Mike Richards how to be a good team leader, I’m also not going to tell him how to dress better. If he doesn’t want to dress like the villain from a coming-of-age movie set in a tony prep school, that’s his right. I mean, for all I know, he’s just assessing his wardrobe. I’m not going to tell him he’s doing it wrong.
What the fuck ever happened to that guy I stomped on? I really do want to step on his toes.
I would really love to have the dumbest contract on this team, but I don’t want to step on Danny Briere’s toes.
I’d love to say this team needs a better coach, but I don’t want to step on Paul Holmgren’s toes.
I’d step up to be the player whose implosion derails the entire team in April, but I don’t want to step of Ray Emery’s toes.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: When is a Ray Emery joke not funny?
Ray Emery is the gift that keeps on giving!
Ryan O’Byrne just got to second base with Clarke Macarthur. I think Leafs fans may be laughing at the polls calling the Habs “Canada’s Team.”
Aww, I hope things work out between O’Byrne and Macarthur. Those kids are so cute together. :P
I think Leafs fans may be laughing at the polls calling the Habs “Canada’s Team.”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Seriously, are the Sabres just having their way with them? What the hell is going on over there?? :D
And Danny Briere contract jokes will always be funny.
Also, wouldn’t you want a guy to step up in the locker room? A locker room isn’t a dictatorship, where Richards will send Pronger to the gulag for speaking out of turn.
A locker room isn’t a dictatorship, where Richards will send Pronger to the gulag for speaking out of turn.
Richards: It isn’t? Dammit!
What the hell is going on over there??
I was about to type they’re just not that good at hockey right now, but then Gomez scored.
Eh, still works.
I was about to type they’re just not that good at hockey right now, but then Gomez scored.
I don’t believe in jinxes, but about two minutes before Gomez scored, the Sabres Twitter feed announced how long Miller’s shutout streak was.
Um, the Maple Leafs are ahead 5-1.
Dogs and cats living together, and such.
A locker room isn’t a dictatorship, where Richards will send Pronger to the gulag for speaking out of turn.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I especially love all of this after Pronger was expressly brought in for his leadership skills. And he’s all, “Don’t look at me! I’m not the captain!”
Eh, still works.
Considering the fact that the Habs have 8 shots through 2 periods. Yeah, I think we could say that. :p
I don’t believe in jinxes, but about two minutes before Gomez scored, the Sabres Twitter feed announced how long Miller’s shutout streak was.
I consider myself somewhat level-headed and rational. But I used to be a goalie, so I totally believe in jinxes. I won’t even say the s word until the game is over. Darn you, Sabres Twitter! Darn you to heck!
Considering the fact that the Habs have 8 shots through 2 periods.
The tie of 4 Sabres’ goals to 4 Habs shots on goals was pretty interesting. These guys need that 6 year celebration of the centennial to end NOW.
These guys need that 6 year celebration of the centennial to end NOW.
Heh. Yeah, it’s been a brutal one, hasn’t it? Heh heh heh.
Yeah, it’s been a brutal one, hasn’t it?
I guess it ends tomorrow with an 11 hour ceremony.
NOOOOO!!! YOU WILL NOT OLE IN THE HSBC!!!
They’re ole-ing? But… they’re losing, aren’t they?
Ole-ing Habs fan: “I don’t see your point.”
Ole-ing Habs fan: “I don’t see your point.”
They’re so smart! They’re like the Flyers fan I talked to in Arizona the summer after the Devils came back from being down 3-1 to the Flyers in the ECF. That guy said, in complete seriousness, “Yeah, you guys might have won three straight, but we did too in that series.” I love fans who don’t understand the most absolute basic elements of sports. Like, the “the team with the most points/goals at the end of the game wins” parts.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Pronger’s such a dick.
(I tried to think of something funny and/or pithy, but that’s really all that ever comes to mind on that subject. :P )
The “I’m walkin’ a fuckin’ tightrope here” part was my favorite. :D
You pretty much hit the nail on the head, Patty. :D
I love fans who don’t understand the most absolute basic elements of sports. Like, the “the team with the most points/goals at the end of the game wins” parts.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Those are pretty tough concepts!
I just wish someone would tell those guys that when your team is down 5-2, even if your team does score, you don’t Ole. A festive cheer is quite enough and no one can blame you for supporting your team. Just stop being so f$#%ing obnoxious!
I tried to think of something funny and/or pithy, but that’s really all that ever comes to mind on that subject.
Pronger has that effect on people. :)
I’m just guessing that a guy named “Festerling” has heard them all. :P
Just stop being so f$#%ing obnoxious!
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. It’s like, do they not notice that they’re not, like, tough asshole fans, and they’re not, like, charmingly ebullient, but rather, they’re just completely fucking annoying? I mean, no one’s laughing with them. :P
Okay, From The Mouth Of Chris Pronger is far and away the squickiest title you could’ve given this post.
What the fuck ever happened to that guy I stomped on? I really do want to step on his toes.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
What a delightful team.
Okay, From The Mouth Of Chris Pronger is far and away the squickiest title you could’ve given this post.
Yeah, you like that? I thought it was delightful. :P (There had been some thought of doing this in a “Pronger’s Diary” approach, so when that didn’t happen, “From The Desk Of Chris Pronger” just didn’t make sense. Heh.)
“From the Desk of Chris Pronger”/”Chris Pronder’s Diary” would also be delightful. Make it happen! ;)
Well, one of the reasons we didn’t excerpt Pronger’s diary here is that neither of us has really put that much thought into him. I mean, of course I don’t like him, because nobody in their right mind likes him, but I can’t say he’s that strongly on my radar as a guy I hate enough to make merciless fun of. Maybe we’ll have to think of someone else to excerpt their diary soon, though… :D
Maybe we’ll have to think of someone else to excerpt their diary soon, though… :D
I might have a suggestion or two on that front. *cough*Ovie!*cough*
WOOOOOOOOOOOO!! The Ducks gave us one! WOO HOO!!
Well, one of the reasons we didn’t excerpt Pronger’s diary here is that neither of us has really put that much thought into him.
I’m assuming the other reason is that no one will buy that the dude can write. Although perhaps he just elbows his diary into submission until it records his thoughts for him.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to this whole post, by the way. And I second Patty’s *cough*suggestion*cough*.
Also, I just saw this very poorly written comment on FML and had to laugh. I guess we know what Ryanee Clowee does with this off-hours.
Oh. My. Gosh. They gave us another one!
HEE!
I can’t say he’s that strongly on my radar as a guy I hate enough to make merciless fun of.
Could another stomping or three change your mind? I’m sure Chris has it in him.
I guess we know what Ryanee Clowee does with this off-hours.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Man, Ryanee Clowee really hates that person, doesn’t he?
And I am sending the IPB interns down to the DC area to steal some pages from Ovie’s super-secret personal diary RIGHT NOW. We’ll see if anything useful comes back with them. :P
Ryanee Clowee hatees a lot of peeople. Hee’s verry meean.
I can’t say he’s that strongly on my radar as a guy I hate enough to make merciless fun of.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Although perhaps he just elbows his diary into submission until it records his thoughts for him.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
heh. oops.
I’m trying to imagine what Ovie’s deep thoughts might be and… the mind boggles.
I’m trying to imagine what Ovie’s deep thoughts might be and… the mind boggles.
Heh. I think I’m getting a pretty good idea of what his deep thoughts are. And they’re not very deep. :P
Ryanee Clowee hatees a lot of peeople. Hee’s verry meean.
And he thought no one would know if he disguised himself as ASHLEEBAYBEE? Hah! What a dead giveaway!
Heh. I think I’m getting a pretty good idea of what his deep thoughts are. And they’re not very deep. :P
You mean “Nobody can kill me” isn’t a very deep thought?
Heh, that is a very deep though. Guess I was wrong!
And he thought no one would know if he disguised himself as ASHLEEBAYBEE? Hah! What a dead giveaway!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Seriously! That’s, like, the most obvious nom de interwebs I’ve ever seeeeeen!
You mean “Nobody can kill me” isn’t a very deep thought?
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: When I’m saying “deep” but meaning “stupid”, then yes, that IS a very deep thought.
And they’re not very deep. :P
Nor plural, I’m sure.
I’m sure Jack Handey thinks Ovie is an insult to deep thoughts everywhere.
Nor plural, I’m sure.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: BURN!
The Stars stopped CoreyPerry’s point streak!
You’re welcome.
I just had the funny thought that Ryane’s parents probably spelled his name that way so that he would stand out and be noticed. I’m sure this whole conversation is exactly what they had in mind. Heh.
Good one, Patty!
I’m sure Jack Handey thinks Ovie is an insult to deep thoughts everywhere.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I’m sure this whole conversation is exactly what they had in mind. Heh.
HAHA! No question about it! They were like, “Someday little Ryane is going to be a professional hockey player, and snarky bloggers will make merciless fun of the spelling of his name. I love having big dreams for my child.”
I think I’m getting a pretty good idea of what his deep thoughts are. And they’re not very deep.
Agreed. To paraphrase a line from Glee, he probably thinks the square root of four is rainbows.
Also, his license plate is AOGR8. Either he’s an attention whore or needs to remind himself what car is his in the lot.
Also, his license plate is AOGR8. Either he’s an attention whore or needs to remind himself what car is his in the lot.
Wait, for real? What the hell? I sincerely hope it’s because he frequently forgets what his car looks like. Because that’s the ONLY excuse for that. Heh.
And good morning, everyone! It’s FINALLY Friday! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
I especially love all of this after Pronger was expressly brought in for his leadership skills. And he’s all, “Don’t look at me! I’m not the captain!”
It’s very simple. He’s become a Flyer.
As usual, sorry I’m late to this. I had an actual social life last night (met up for a drink with lots of people I used to work with and then went out to dinner with a friend).
Wait, for real? What the hell? I sincerely hope it’s because he frequently forgets what his car looks like. Because that’s the ONLY excuse for that. Heh.
I thought he had a BMW M6 (no, I’m not a stalker, I have clients in the ultra-luxury auto industry and one of them has sold some cars to current and former Caps, he was talking to AO about a car, not the one he has now). I only mention it because it would be difficult to lose your M6 in a parking lot, so I don’t think that could be the case.
Wait, for real?
Yeah. It was in a Puck Daddy article or something linked off of Puck Daddy.
I wouldn’t put it past someone like Ovechkin to forget what his car looks like even though it’s the fanciest car in the parking lot. :P
I guess you guys wouldn’t approve of my “MCG IZHAWT” plates then.
I can’t believe I missed all the Ryaneee Cloweee talk!
I guess you guys wouldn’t approve of my “MCG IZHAWT” plates then.
No, see, that’s different. That’s actually a statement, whereas AOGR8 is just, like, a nametag. Also, MCG IZHAWT is true. :P
Schnookie, with your English skills, my math skills, and Pookie’s sparkly-assed pants collection, we really do make a complete ice girls team!
Oh, and not to rub it in, but we have a delightfully fluffy blanket of snow in B-Lo.
Also, his license plate is AOGR8.
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. (Although the fact that AOGR8 wasn’t already taken when he ordered it proves my hypothesis that as much as everyone loves Ovie, no one loves Ovie as much as Ovie loves Ovie. Heh. And ew.)
Oh, and not to rub it in, but we have a delightfully fluffy blanket of snow in B-Lo.
It’s snowing quite picturesquely here, too! But it’s also about fifteen degrees, so I doubt any of you are jealous.
Schnookie, with your English skills, my math skills, and Pookie’s sparkly-assed pants collection, we really do make a complete ice girls team!
We do! We could be, like, a crime-fighting team of ice-dancers!
And just shut up about your dumb snow. I didn’t want snow anyway. Grumble, grumble, grumble… (Again, I was PROMISED snow tomorrow. It was in the 60s here yesterday. I’m thinking that MSN Weather is going to break its promise.)
But it’s also about fifteen degrees, so I doubt any of you are jealous.
Nah uh. I’ll stick with our balmy 33 degrees. :) (until a gust of wind freezer burns me)
Ovie doesnt write in a diary, he dictates to one of those little tape recorders so when he’s feeling melancholy he can listen to it later. he always cheers himself up
(Although the fact that AOGR8 wasn’t already taken when he ordered it proves my hypothesis that as much as everyone loves Ovie, no one loves Ovie as much as Ovie loves Ovie. Heh. And ew.)
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It probably was already taken, but he just stole it off the other person’s car.
And I am jealous of your picturesque snow, Gambler! I would have no problem with it being 15 degrees! I can’t deal with the fact that it feels like APRIL here.
Ovie doesnt write in a diary, he dictates to one of those little tape recorders so when he’s feeling melancholy he can listen to it later. he always cheers himself up
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: He’s like Tobias Funke. “Oh Ovie,” he sighs happily, “You blowhard!”
The weather here continues to be bizarro. It is snowing SOUTH of us? Headed for Houston!
Also, on a bizarre note, I’ve been invited to be on a Stars blogger roundtable discussion with the Mike Heika (the Dallas paper dude), Mark Stepneski (the guy who has the only professional Stars blog), Bob Sturm (radio dude) and a couple other local blogger dudes. I asked if they had me on the right email. If so, I’m blown away.
We do! We could be, like, a crime-fighting team of ice-dancers!
Yessss!!! Can we have a Bosley?
And I won’t mention snow anymore. There’snow way I want you to be upset about your lack of snow. I’m sure the weather reports promising you snow are completely accurate.
Did I tell you guys about the new snow globe I found? Snow, snow, snow, snow…
Wow! Congrats, Myra! That’s very well-deserved for you!! I’m sure you’ll make the other Stars bloggers look like piles of puke!
And that’s NOT FUNNY, mcguggs. ::Stony glare::
I’ve been invited to be on a Stars blogger roundtable discussion with the Mike Heika (the Dallas paper dude), Mark Stepneski (the guy who has the only professional Stars blog), Bob Sturm (radio dude) and a couple other local blogger dudes.
Holy Snow, Myra!! That’s awesome!
They just confirmed that it’s for real. I’m not sure what to think about it.
Thanks to mcguff, I am not singing “Snow! Snow! Snow! Snow!” from White Christmas. I love that song.
Um, that would be “now singing” not “not singing”. And they think I’m a serious blogger???
At least you’ll be speaking and not typing, so you’re good, Myra! You might not want to bring up how amazing UnderArmour looks on the players though.
I’ve been singing “Let it Snow” with some altered words: “Oh, the weather outside is frightful
and my pajamas are soooo delightful!
since I live in Buffaloooo
I have snow, I have snow, I have snow!”
They just confirmed that it’s for real. I’m not sure what to think about it
It could be fun! Maybe they want a different perspective on the panel?
Bravo Myra! This is great. You’re totally a serious blogger. Soon, you’ll be blogging from the Stars press box!
“Oh, the weather outside is frightful
and my pajamas are soooo delightful!
since I live in Buffaloooo
I have snow, I have snow, I have snow!”
You know what I’m going to bedazzle on my ass? “I hate mcguggs and her stupid snow”. That’s what. :P
Thanks guys, I’ll keep that in mind about the UnderArmour. I did ask if I could be the comic relief.
I don’t care about blogging from the Stars Press box, it’s the post game interviews in the dressing room that I want!
Dangit, do you think Hub saw that???
You know what I’m going to bedazzle on my ass? “I hate mcguggs and her stupid snow”. That’s what. :P
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: If it’s any consolation, I’m currently putting on about 6 layers of clothes for my walk to class.
I don’t care about blogging from the Stars Press box, it’s the post game interviews in the dressing room that I want!
I should have majored in journalism.
If it’s any consolation, I’m currently putting on about 6 layers of clothes for my walk to class.
Yeah, whatever. I’m going to go out in my shirtsleeves now to meet Pookie for lunch. SIGH. :P
Matt Pond PA – Snow Day
and a pre-emptive “please fix da link”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RT_Mj3k6w2o
Link fixed! (I can’t watch until I get home, though…)
Wow. We just received email from our manufacturer in Calgary saying they were shutting down due to inclement weather. How bad does it have to get for Canadians to call it quits?
Hmph. Why is EVERYONE getting snow but us? :P
WOW, Myra! I’d be thrilled just to talk to Heika and Sturm! Let alone the players in the locker room (although that’s my goal, too).
I’m sure you’ll make the other Stars bloggers look like piles of puke!
Watch it!
Congratulations, Myra! Are you going to be doing it in person? Or online?
Sounds like a lot of fun!
Congratulations, Myra!
I want snow! I just had to sit through my company’s holiday breakfast! I deserve snow!
It’s still very preliminary. I just got the invitation today. They have to see who accepts and set a time. It’s online, not in person. I don’t think I could do it in person. I’d be way to starstruck/tongue tied.
In re Calgary, how bad does it have to get to shut down: My sister spent two years in Calgary and she would routinely walk around when the temp was 40 below. So uh, I don’t want to know what kind of weather shuts Calgary down.
So uh, I don’t want to know what kind of weather shuts Calgary down.
Myra, I think your office in Calgary might be trying to pull something over on you. :P
I’m thinking they just wanted the afternoon off. Hmmm.
So the Head Tranny Coach was fired and might be replaced with Laviolette AND Richards may abdicate his C to the Pronger that wants it.
Such drama from the Trannies today.