Devils vs. Maple Leafs Woolgathering At High Speeds

Good evening, Gentle Reader! It was a traumatic afternoon here at stately IPB Manor as Pookie picked up her first speeding ticket. Mazel tov, Pookie! Nothing like going 15 mph over the speed limit when the cops are trying to fill their monthly quotas. Let’s hope the Devils are a bit more conscientious tonight as they take on the Maple Leafs. (Let’s also hope that if their play is the equivalent of zipping past a speedtrap at high speeds, that they at least realize the window lock is on when they go to greet the nice state trooper outside the passenger side window. Otherwise they’ll be mighty embarrassed when they keep hitting the “down window” button and nothing happens. At least, we think that would be embarrassing. Not that we’d know anything about it.)

PREGAME

Our assigned color for this week in sixty-four colors is sepia, which is a lot darker brown than you’d think. Doc and Chico seem to be on board with this project:

Also, EggNation is celebrating BoogerforsNation’s loss today. As are we. Stupid Boogerfors, with his statistics falling off a cliff. Hmph.

FIRST PERIOD

–About five minutes in, MSG+ gives us replay of Gustavsson making a post-to-post pad save. Chico says, “His legs are his strength,” to which Pookie responds in stride, “His legs are his strength and his voice is his passport. He’s a monster.”

– About six minutes in, we feel like we’ve hard this song before. 1-0 Leafs.

– About seven minutes in, who is this team and what did they do with the Devils??? 1-1 game.

– Of all the long-term Devils injuries this season, Zubrus’s was the one we were least concerned about, because of all the guys who could return to the lineup after a long absence, he was the one we figured had the least to offer. Well, we were wrong. Lemaire has created a ZZ Z line tonight (or perhaps ZZ Zops?), and it’s looking awesome. They connected on an edge-of-your-seat passing sequence for the Devils first goal, and do it again about ten minutes later. Both goals by Zach, both primary assists by Zubrus. 2-1 Devils, and Pookie’s suggesting maybe calling this line “Showdown at the Triple-Z Ranch”. If “ZZ Pops” could catch on, surely this could too.

SECOND PERIOD

– The age-old question of whether Colin White could beat Colton Orr in a rink-length footrace is answered here tonight. Decisively in Whitey’s favor, thank goodness.

– We love the Showdown at the Triple-Z Ranch line! They’re awesome! Zach’s putting on a hustle clinic tonight, and for some crazy reason, Zubrus can totally keep up with him. Who knew Zubrus had it in him? When Travis feeds Zubrus on a pretty passing sequence to make it 3-1 Devils, we’re almost wondering if this is some elaborate prank, like the one the Comcast people pulled on Steve Coates last night. It should be noted, though, that the one drawback of the Showdown at the Triple-Z Ranch line is that when they have goal celebrations with Whitey on the ice, Zach looks miniature.

– The age-old question of whether Mark Fraser could beat Colton Orr in a breakaway footrace is answered here tonight. Decisively in Orr’s favor. 3-2 Devils, and Pookie sighs, “The Devils might as well have had their window lock on.”

– This game is crazy! We’ve got an effective Dainius Zubrus, a breakaway-threat Colton Orr, and now wee bairn Patrick Davis getting his first NHL goal. 4-2 Devils, and we’d love for this game to go on all season. (Of course, as soon as we type that, Langer takes a stupid penalty behind the play in the neutral zone. Never mind. We’d like this game to end right now.)

THIRD PERIOD

– Midway through the period, Doc informs us that there will be a special on-the-road version of Chico Eats! next week in Toronto. Chico promises that they will be introducing a “new food” during that episode. We can only assume that Chico is going to be inventing an entirely new food element, previously unheard-of in human experience. Pookie: “It’s going to be ‘U-chic-mi’. Like umami, but Chico.”

– IronBoarsylvania will never forgive its emperor-god for the way he passes the puck late in this period to Ponikarovsky right in front of the Devils net to make this game 4-3 Devils. Ew. And BOOOO!

– During intermission, Gel-O cracked that the Devils had to win this game, because to lose to a lowly opponent like the Leafs, at home, with a two-goal lead going into the third, would be devastating. To which Schnookie wondered aloud whether it would be as devastating as, say, losing a playoff game 7 at home in regulation after holding a one-goal lead with 80 seconds left in the third period. Ah, how well we know our team. With 91 seconds left, they collapse in their own zone and give up the tying goal. 4-4 game.

OVERTIME

– We’d cheer for that OT acorn, but honestly. Devils? You guys are a sad, sad sight. 5-4 Devils.

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