As you might know, Gentle Reader, we are cranky about a lot of things. Also, we watch a lot of Comcast broadcasts of a certain team that plays in a city that rhymes with “Bliladelphia”. And the announcers on those broadcasts tend to get inordinately excited when the Bliladelphia head coach (aside: we’re also cranky about how awful his hair is. Bleter Blaviolette, just buzz it, okay? You look like a fool) takes a timeout at any point in the game that isn’t the final 90 seconds. The Bliladelphia team just gave up four quick goals? Timeout, and he’s a genius for it! The Bliladelphia skaters are exhausted and just iced the puck? Timeout, and no one has ever thought to strategically deploy his timeout like this! The Bliladelphia bench just randomly called a timeout by accident? Jack Adams time!
With our crankiness about the way TV guys get all worked up about timeouts piqued, we started to notice it on other broadcasts too. Play-by-play and color guys can’t seem to deal with timeouts at all. They’re either overly rhapsodic about totally expected situational timeouts, or their unduly flummoxed. Why can’t they be more like us and not care about whether a team uses their timeout or not? Why is everyone so much stupider than we are?
We think the way to solve this is to let every team have one timeout per period. Use it or lose it. And that way it just won’t be an issue at all, because people could have timeouts whenever. Wait, no… Or it could be three times the issue. Never mind.
We might be watching this game alone, but WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Huh. I thought defensemen weren’t allowed to score.
I mean WOO!!
And I thought Zubrus wasn’t allowed to crash the crease. I mean, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Huh, what? Fricking radio skipped and I had no idea there had been a goal! Thanks innernets *is cranky*
Sooo… big deals in Toronto, eh?
Sooo… big deals in Toronto, eh?
Yeah, those guys are gonna save the franchise.
Yeah, those guys are gonna save the franchise.
Heh. Or the franchises of the teams that are no longer handcuffed by their dumb contracts.
Yeah, I didn’t specify which franchise they’d be saving :)
Heh. Or the franchises of the teams that are no longer handcuffed by their dumb contracts.
There really are a lot of bad contracts in those deals. Blake, Phaneuf, Toskala.
There really are a lot of bad contracts in those deals. Blake, Phaneuf, Toskala.
Don’t forget Giguere! Giguere’s is one of those Gomez-type contracts, where you have to figure the GM dealing him is like, “ANYTHING. I will take ANYTHING in return for moving this contract.”
There really are a lot of bad contracts in those deals. Blake, Phaneuf, Toskala.
I think the Leafs have $22 million tied up in five guys next year. That’s not leaving them much room to finangle or go UFA shopping.
Stop it, Chico. No one who works outside of the Devils organization honestly believes that goalies get tired because they’re wound up.
I take it the game is going well? I may get to go back over and watch some, since the Stars pregame show looks suspicously like a basketball game.
No one who works outside of the Devils organization honestly believes that goalies get tired because they’re wound up.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Seriously. It’s not like anyone ever accuses Marty of being mentally tired every April. Heh.
I think the Leafs have $22 million tied up in five guys next year.
That sounds just like a Brian Burke team, doesn’t it? I wonder which guys he’ll make pretend they’re trying to decide whether to retire for half the season next year.
I may get to go back over and watch some, since the Stars pregame show looks suspicously like a basketball game.
Oooh, that sucks!
I like Chico calling the third period against Toronto “almost a disaster”. I thought it was more “conclusively a disaster”.
It’s not like anyone ever accuses Marty of being mentally tired every April. Heh.
Also, I don’t care if Marty gets bored sitting out games. I get bored watching teams other than the Devils in May and June.
Also, I don’t care if Marty gets bored sitting out games. I get bored watching teams other than the Devils in May and June.
Good point!
I get bored watching teams other than the Devils in May and June.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It’s funny because it’s true.
This disabled hockey thing is raising all kinds of issues:
1) Not to be insensitive, but isn’t deaf hockey just, you know, hockey with deaf people? Do they really need their own league?
2) A guy had his leg amputated so that he could play hockey? RINGER!
3) How the hell do you play hockey sans a limb?
Not to be insensitive, but isn’t deaf hockey just, you know, hockey with deaf people? Do they really need their own league?
:^::::::::::::::::: There was a deaf guy playing for the Sharks when we first started watching hockey. And that’s my story. (It reminds me of back when I worked in the drive-thru window at a bank. A woman drove up one day and sent in her deposit with a note explaining she was deaf [I guess to save me the trouble of trying to talk to her at all through the intercom thingie]. One of my coworkers was standing right there and went completely off — she was all, “OH MY GOD! I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE’S ALLOWED TO DRIVE!! I’M TERRIFIED TO BE ON THE ROAD WITH DEAF PEOPLE!” And I was like, “How often do you have your radio on so loud in your car that you don’t hear any noise from the road?” And she was all, “Touche.” And that’s my other story.)
A guy had his leg amputated so that he could play hockey? RINGER!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
3) How the hell do you play hockey sans a limb?
Sled hockey.
But they have standing amputee hockey!
I love Gel-O admitting that he likes West Coast teams having a pajama look because they’re on so late at night for the East Coast audience. Or at least, that’s how I’m reading what he was just saying.
I DON’T love Gel-O blaming that failed two-on-one on Pando. He calls it “Pandolfo couldn’t finish,” but how is Pando supposed to finish on such a SHITTY pass? How, I ask you?!? Stupid Gel-O. Doc would never blame Pando.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZZZ…!!!!!!! ACORNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Showdown at the Triple-Z Ranch line is UNSTOPPABLE!
WOOO!!!!!!! NAP TIME!!!
NAP TIME!!!
Heh heh. That’s even better than shouting “CANDYGRAM!” (not that I’d know, because dumb Zharkov is never going to score EVER).
The only worry I have with shouting “NAP TIME!” is that the Devils will respond with falling asleep.
Hey. The Devils fall asleep just fine without any of us bringing it up.
The Devils are so contrary that maybe yelling “NAP TIME!” will make them play harder? Just don’t tell them that’s what we’re hoping will happen…
Mottau…. MOT-TTTAUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How the hell do you play hockey sans a limb?
The same way you walk sans a limb, I expect. By wearing a fake one.
My father had a friend when I was little who had a fake lower leg/foot and went skating and skiing regularly.
I wasn’t looking when the Kings goal was scored, but I knew without having to see the replay that it was Mottau’s fault. Because really, what isn’t Mottau’s fault?
The only worry I have with shouting “NAP TIME!” is that the Devils will respond with falling asleep.
And want a cookie after waking up like they’re overgrown kindergartners.
And want a cookie after waking up like they’re overgrown kindergartners.
Hm. That’s a negative side-effect of Nap Time that I hadn’t considered. Especially considering that when Marty asks for a cookie, there’s no one in the organization who will tell him he can’t have one. (It’s like the opposite of Buffalo, where Crunchy’s reign of terror means NO ONE gets cookies.)
I’m finally here! I was grocery shopping, and the stupid grocery store wouldn’t let me buy any cider because it’s Sunday. Fucking hell, that’s so uncivilised.
Hm. That’s a negative side-effect of Nap Time that I hadn’t considered.
Another one will be the fans of all the other teams accusing the Devils of killing hockey with the neutral-zone nap.
Oh, and:
WOOOOO
WOOOOO
BOOOOO
I was grocery shopping, and the stupid grocery store wouldn’t let me buy any cider because it’s Sunday. Fucking hell, that’s so uncivilised.
The phonk? That’s inhuman!
Another one will be the fans of all the other teams accusing the Devils of killing hockey with the neutral-zone nap.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Nice one!
And after that failed shorthanded chance, I think it’s safe to say that Niedermayer (the Lesser) has now completely replaced John Madden.
The phonk? That’s inhuman!
It’s the Midwest. They think Jesus “I-turned-myself-into-wine” Christ disapproves of people buying booze on the sabbath. Even though I can go get absolutely wasted in a bar or restaurant today.
And after that failed shorthanded chance, I think it’s safe to say that Niedermayer (the Lesser) has now completely replaced John Madden.
Never! I can’t confuse football fans by talking about how physical Niedermayer (the Lesser)’s play is, or how scary his playoff beard is.
I’m really enjoying how the Devils seem to be trying to re-create the Leafs game here.
PSCNG must be sooooooooo happy they’re sponsoring the Devils power play.
PSCNG: We do it right. 2 out of every 29 times.
PSCNG: We do it right. 2 out of every 29 times.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: If that doesn’t work, they could add, “Hey! It’s better than nothing!”
No team is better at shooting pucks into gloves than the Devils.
Bad news to Myra, Myra’s Hub, Patty, and any other Stars supporters. God hates you. The Westboro Baptist Church is (was?) protesting the Coyotes game today.
he Westboro Baptist Church is (was?) protesting the Coyotes game today.
Really? That’s weird that they’d be that upset that Scottie Upshall’s out with a torn ACL. :D
Also, what the fuck, Devils. What. The. Fuck.
Okay, we’re a few minutes behind (our pizza delivery lead to a bit of a tivo delay), and we were just discussing what sport we would watch if we didn’t have hockey. We were all, “Oh, when there’s no hockey on, and I’m stuck watching something else, it just throws into sharper relief how much I love hockey.” Then the Devils give up an absolute, unmitigated CRAP goal, and I’m like, “Wait, I like hockey? No, I don’t think so.”
“God H8s Ur hockey! Valor Pl. & Olive St. WBC will picket your stupid, cold (you will truly pray for these days of being in the cold hockey games when you burn in hell for eternity) violent, time-wasting hockey game – your SPORT.”
Sounds more like they just don’t like the cold.
“God Hates DOOMED america, God Hates Arizona, God Hates Florida.”
Also sounds like they don’t know where Dallas is.
Wow, Tim, that’s impressive! (And I agree. They clearly have issues with cold, and with that demon science, geography.)
Also, God hates the Devils. And I don’t blame him.
Also sounds like they don’t know where Dallas is.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Thanks for the laugh. I needed that right now.
God H8s Ur hockey!
I didn’t know God issued proclamations in text speak.
I’m sorry the Devils lost tonight. They’ve had some horrible luck lately.
What the hell? They’re actually protesting hockey because it’s a sport? That’s actually a compliment around here. Most Texans think if it’s not football, it’s not a sport. :D
And Kotalik has left the Rangers after being told he’s going to be traded. Is today Wacky Day in the NHL?
And I’m SO SORRY! What a terrible end to an otherwise not-so-bad-sounding-at-first game.
I’m sorry the Devils lost tonight. They’ve had some horrible luck lately.
It’s not luck. It’s suck. Sigh. The defense is just… just… When does the season end again?
Is today Wacky Day in the NHL?
Did I miss the Olympics? I was watching for them! Dang it. :P
They’ve had some horrible luck lately.
I wouldn’t be so disgusted if it was just horrible luck. Stupid fucking fuckers. I’d even throw a “luck is the residue of design” at them, but again, that’s giving them too much credit. They’re just playing badly.
If it makes you feel better, Dave Tippett proved again that it was stupid to fire him. We’re 0-3 against the Coyotes and being at home didn’t seem to help.
I’m so sorry, Patty. What did we ever do to deserve such stupid teams?
I have no idea, Schnookie.