Olympics are fun. That’s what they want me to say. Actually, I’m not winning. That’s not fun. I wanted to go home. I had a great idea to get sent home. I was going to do kinda lewd things with a medal and have pictures put in the internets of it, but I don’t know how to do lewd things. Unkie Mario won’t let me. Also, I don’t have a medal. Then I thought I could get thrown out by wearing offensive aboriginal outfits all the time. But that didn’t work. All it did is that now Pierre McGuire is wearing one too. Olympics aren’t fun at all.
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Heheeeee! Oh Sid.
Yeah, poor Sid. He can never really figure it all out.
Such a shame, I wanted to crack out an alternate nickname for him if he was doing well.
Bing Crosby. Beating opponents like they were his kids.
Poor Sid. So close, and yet so far.
Patty, :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: He’s so tragic. Heh.
And we’re on Olympics tivo delay tonight. It’s killing me waiting for Pookie to get home to watch the ice dancing! (Not that it’s even probably on yet…)
And we’re on Olympics tivo delay tonight. It’s killing me waiting for Pookie to get home to watch the ice dancing!
Well instead of showing sports they’re having a long interview with Michael Phelps so at least you’ll get to fast forward through that.
And no, they haven’t even mentioned ice dancing yet.
I suppose it’s a good thing that Pierre and Sid are only running around in aboriginal costumes instead of the crotcharrific speedskating suits.
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You actually made Dave laugh so hard it brought him to tears. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that done! Well played, Ookies!
And of course I cackled to the extreme as well but I’m easy.
You actually made Dave laugh so hard it brought him to tears. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that done!
HAHAHAHA! WOO HOO! This is one of the proudest days of my life. :P
And boy am I glad I’m not seeing this Michael Phelps interview. Sheesh! It’s the WINTER Olympics, NBC!
I suppose it’s a good thing that Pierre and Sid are only running around in aboriginal costumes instead of the crotcharrific speedskating suits.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Pierre was hoping Sid would go with the crotchariffic outfit, but he hid his disappointment well. :P
Oh poor, poor Sid. He just wants to be like everyone else.
I wanted to go home. I had a great idea to get sent home. I was going to do kinda lewd things with a medal and have pictures put in the internets of it, but I don’t know how to do lewd things.
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Good evening, IPB! I was channel surfing and stopped on Fox college sports, Colorado vs Minnesota hockey. Guess who they have as a guest in the booth? Paul Martin. They showed pictures of the new Paul Martin Sauna. Named after him because he bought it for the school.
Must be tape delay, they just asked Paulie about the USA vs Canada game tomorrow.
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Paulie bought them a sauna?!? That’s awesome! And OF COURSE that was tape delay — Paulie was one of the silver-medalist ice dancers, so he had to be in Vancouver last night! (The fluffy blond guy was TOTALLY Paulie “in disguise”.)
Good morning, everyone! Are we all still on a high after the ice dancing? That was everything I hoped for and more! My favorite was the “they find the top and then go over it” Firebird people, with the fluttering wings and “pooping fire” tail. Of course, Belbin and Agosto were just as over-the-top, but did the announcers snark about their ridiculousness? Heh. Ah, ice dancing. Until we meet again, four years from now, keep on being crazy. :D
I’m not sure what this says about me but I kept fixating on how much better the makeup was for the ice dancers than the pairs. HUGE DIFFERENCE.
And that is my in depth commentary.
And we had another dusting of snow this morning. Talk about redonk.
Myra, I agree. The ice dancers, amazingly, looked much better put-together than the pairs skaters. That’s as damning a thing as I could POSSIBLY say about the pairs people. :P
Another dusting of snow??? That IS redonk! We had a brief, pretty bit of snow last night, but it’s turned into rain this morning. My head feels like it’s going to explode. It’s been a while since I’ve had to deal with normal “rainy day” humidity.
I’m sorry about the humidity headache, I hate those.
I also liked most of the music last night. Very little that I could snark at, which was kinda a bummer.
And I’m still chuckling over your Sid post. Pretty darn genius, my dear!
Before the Nyquil knocked me out, I remember being flabbergasted at the music choices: Queen and Linkin Park? This isn’t your parent’s ice dancing, my friends. Also, you have to have love for a sport that has something called a Twizzle as a required element.
Giving back to sports teams must be a trend among hockey players. A couple summers ago a bunch of Michigan State players fund raised and donated a pretty swanky whirlpool for the hockey team.
Oh! I loved the arrangement of the Queen song!
“The Paulie Martin Sauna” = Greatness!
And I’m still chuckling over your Sid post. Pretty darn genius, my dear!
It’s all Pookie, this whole series. I just sit back and let her do all the work! :D (I’ll say thanks on her behalf, though — she’s in some kind of training session this morning.)
And I agree that a sport with an essential component known as a “twizzle” is a BRILLIANT sport, indeed!
I think my favorite costume was the Russians with the ropes and the faces printed on the illusion fabric.
The couple that chose Linkin Park should have lost just for that. There’s fabulously ridiculous and then there’s obnoxious and that crossed the line and danced on the other side (Linkin Park makes me crabby).
I wanted to protest the ropes costumes. That seemed like cheating to me.
I loved the ropes costumes! Those people crack me up. I loved that it was like, “Oh, there’s no rule specifically against this? Well SUCK IT, BITCHES!” Heh. :P
I showed the Kid the aboriginal costumes last night. She thought they were flabbergastically hilarious.
Ok, I guess I should actually get some work done now. Booooo.
You know who I’d like to hear a “dispatch” “from?” Chris Pronger. Do you take requests, Pookie? :P
I saw some recap of the game and it mentioned he “poked fun” at the American players that were saying it was going to be a pretty intense game, and now I kind of want to know what he said. But only kinda.
Woops. I meant “Chris” “Pronger.”
So is anyone watching the Olympic hockey but me? At least Brodeur will finally get some rest…
Mike, I watched some of it while I was on vacation, but they’re not showing any of the hockey here. I was mad about that at first, but now I don’t care so much. Bloody Canadians.
HELLO IPB! I tried to take an “IPB Irregs on top of the world!” picture on the Klein Matterhorn, but my sister’s camera gave out in the cold. Total bummer, I pulled up a comment thread on my phone so you were really there with me and everything. Still, I tried. It’s no dispatches from Vancouver (which are BRILLIANT, Pookie!), but I tried.
Woops. I meant “Chris” “Pronger.”
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Mike, I think that Pookie and I are actually the only ones (besides Mags, but that’s not entirely voluntary) who AREN’T watching the hockey! :D
And welcome back, Mags! I was feeling all exhilirated and on-top-of-the-world the other day, and now I know why! Heh. Did you have a marvelous vacation?
Did you have a marvelous vacation?
Mostly. As with all vacations, there were some crappy parts, but it was mostly fabulous. And even the crappy parts were, in a way, kind of cool. The whole thing was disasterrific, if you will.
I’m just waiting for “Colin” “White’s” “Olympic” “Dispatch” about how easy it was for him to drop his name and get a great hotel. and how he’s confused that its so busy on NBC, but in real life, the Lake Placid Olympic Village looks so desolate.
Well, disasterrific sounds at least exciting! Heh. I’m glad you had a good time, even around the bad, though. (Looking at your pictures on flickr, it’s hard to imagine a bad time being had in such a beautiful locale!)
I’d like to see a dispatch from “Chris” “Pronger”, about how he dreams about being an ice dancer, they are about to win the gold medal, but it all ends in tragedy when he “accidently” elbows his partner in the head.
and how he’s confused that its so busy on NBC, but in real life, the Lake Placid Olympic Village looks so desolate.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: KenF, you’re hired!
Kenf, :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: You’re too good.
Looking at your pictures on flickr, it’s hard to imagine a bad time being had in such a beautiful locale!
It wasn’t so much the locale (although at least one morning of sitting in a restaurant would have been spared us if the fog had just stayed away), but the berloody fucking British (and Dutch) tourists acting like irresponsible maniacs all over the black runs. Here I am, all gold certificated as a skier and a snowboarder, and *I* can barely get down those slopes at the end of the day, they’re that hard, and they’re pelting down them without a care in the world, causing accidents and screaming that everyone should LOOK OUT. No, it’s THEM that should look out and stick to the blue/red pistes of they don’t know how to make turns, let alone how to STOP! Frick, you don’t belong on the RED piste if you can’t ski without making a pizza wedge with your skis. Stay.off.the.black. Black = hard. People in front of you aren’t concerned with what’s going on behind them, they’re trying to make it down the mountain as much as you are. For crissakes I’m not going snowboarding with wing mirrors just so I can make sure no one checks me from behind! And don’t tell me you’ve been “skiing for 4 years and you know perfectly well what you’re doing”. Have you ever taken a class? No. I have. 17 years of classes. So.back.the.fuck.off.
*breathes heavily* But really, it was great :D
it all ends in tragedy when he “accidently” elbows his partner in the head.
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it all ends in tragedy when he “accidently” elbows his partner in the head
and if the elbow doesnt do it, the stomp to the leg will surely do the trick.
Aw, Mags having learned to ski near New York City maniacs, I sympathize. People are crazy. How are they not terrified to do something that they’re not good enough to do while in control? Although I assume the mountains there are a hell of a lot harder than what you’ll find in the Catskills.
(Granted, it’s been years since I snowboarded and even longer since I skied so you couldn’t get me near a black anything anywhere at this point in my life. I would need many, many lessons.)
Your pictures really are gorgeous though.
Good morning everyone! Who’s ready for some elimination hockey! I’m am PUMPED.
it’s been years since I snowboarded and even longer since I skied
I snowboarded once! No….nothing else to the story. That’s all.
I’m am PUMPED.
Clearly. Since I can’t even type straight.
How are they not terrified to do something that they’re not good enough to do while in control?
I wondered about that, while I was trying to resist grabbing someone’s skipoles and going berserk on the last day, and have concluded that they’re too freaking stupid.
I snowboarded once! No….nothing else to the story. That’s all.
Our instructor told us 50% of people who try snowboarding, quit after the first go. He said it was because the learning curve is so steep in the beginning. Not that I’m saying you couldn’t do it, I bet you could, it’s just something he said.
He said it was because the learning curve is so steep in the beginning.
I can understand that. I don’t think I could sit properly for a week after the first day I snowboarded I fell on my ass so many times. I had this weird idea that being a fairly decent skier would help. Oops.
I was young enough when I learned how to ski that all I remember is my father hooking me to a dog leash, but learning to snowboard? Hard stuff.
Our instructor told us 50% of people who try snowboarding, quit after the first go. He said it was because the learning curve is so steep in the beginning.
I’d believe it. After that day Tracie said she’d never do it again! I actually had fun and was (slowly) making my way down the hill after a couple of runs. I think my learning curve was cut down by being familiar with boarding. I skated for about 10 years and surfed for about 5, so it was a natural progression.
The reason I never went back is because it’s too expensive! That was an all inclusive ski trip that work paid for. $70 for a lift ticket is insane!
Now this is redonk:
Good morning everyone! Who’s ready for some elimination hockey! I’m am PUMPED.
I am. *Gulp*.
But wait, Canada’s playing Germany! What could possibly go wrong?
*shudder*
My beloved live oak is being trimmed as we speak. I always wondered how they got up into the top parts trees that big. There’s no way a ladder can reach. Just as I feared, they CLIMB. With a running chain saw hanging from their belt. Those guys have no fear.
I had this weird idea that being a fairly decent skier would help. Oops.
Yeah, I’d thought so too. It’s a different ballgame all right. And off course, there’s things you can’t do as a snowboarder, that you can as a skier. Skating up little inclines, for instance. That was a bit of a shock, the first time I didn’t have enough speed to make it.
The reason I never went back is because it’s too expensive! That was an all inclusive ski trip that work paid for. $70 for a lift ticket is insane!
That seems almost mild compared to what the Swiss will charge you. Greedy bastards.
The reason I never went back is because it’s too expensive! That was an all inclusive ski trip that work paid for. $70 for a lift ticket is insane!
That seems almost mild compared to what the Swiss will charge you. Greedy bastards.
And that right there is why I haven’t gone in years. I understand why it’s expensive (particularly in the US I bet they have to pay crazy insurance in case they get sued) but boy do I not have the money.
But wait, Canada’s playing Germany! What could possibly go wrong?
Hey, I have full confidence in Canada’s ability to get past Germany. After that though…
I am. *Gulp*.
WOOO!!!! Alright Carol! That’s the spirit! Let’s go!!
Just as I feared, they CLIMB. With a running chain saw hanging from their belt. Those guys have no fear.
My dad used to do that as a side job for years. Only fell out of a tree once…aaannnddd got hit in the head with the saw. Luckily they all know him at the hospital because he’s worked there for 30 FRICKIN’ YEARS. Yeah, my dad the genius, who is a very well paid CT tech, trimmed trees and laid cement for extra cash…also collects and recycles hundreds of lbs of aluminum cans at a time…I don’t even know where start. Such a redneck.
Just as I feared, they CLIMB. With a running chain saw hanging from their belt. Those guys have no fear.
That is so insane!
I don’t even know where start. Such a redneck.
Speaking from a solid redneck background, I’m afraid it’s genetic. Sorry, Baby Andrew!
And that right there is why I haven’t gone in years.
For sure. Then you gotta rent the boots and board and all of that. And since I didn’t grow up around it, I don’t have any of the clothes for it. Very expensive hobby.
Skateboarding…now that’s where it’s at. $40 for a new deck. That would last at least a month or two. The occassional new set of wheels or bearings. That was it. Mom and dad paid for the broken bones, so I was all set there.
Speaking from a solid redneck background, I’m afraid it’s genetic. Sorry, Baby Andrew!
I know! Both of our parents are total rednecks! We’ve pretty much left it all behind, but I’m not gonna lie Myra. Sometimes I catch myself looking for a monster truck rally on t.v.
Just kidding. Good god. I think my wife would have a heart attack.
Sorry, Baby Andrew!
Don’t you mean, “Sorry, Baby Aloysius?”
andrew, my dad would have trimmed trees on the side, too, if he didn’t have a bunch of whiny girls at home telling him it’s too dangerous. Actually, he probably still would. If he were in town he’d probably have snuck over to my house and trimmed my live oak. He’s, like, 70.
my dad would have trimmed trees on the side, too, if he didn’t have a bunch of whiny girls at home telling him it’s too dangerous.
Ha! Yeah. My brother and I were lucky enough to be dragged along as free labor. No running the saw though, not until at least 15 years old. We’re all about safety in my family.
If he were in town he’d probably have snuck over to my house and trimmed my live oak. He’s, like, 70.
Sounds about right. My mom finally nagged my dad enough to stop doing stupid stuff like that. He started paying other people to do it when he turned 60 or so.
Don’t you mean, “Sorry, Baby Aloysius?”
Oh yeah, also….haha veeeerrrry funny Patty.
What! You don’t like Aloysius?
How about Newton?
How about Newton?
Hmmm…that’s a bit better.
My cousin and his wife are due 3 days before us. They’re naming their boy Sebastien. I can’t wait, only because I get to call him Seabass!
Whew! I come back from lunch and there’s all kinds of conversation to catch up on! The crazy skiers ruining your vacation sound AWFUL, Mags! I have spent much of the downhill skiing parts of the Olympics remarking to Pookie and Boomer that my approach to doing that sport would be to crawl on my hands and knees back up the mountain, whimpering for someone to rescue me. Skiing looks terrifying! Snowboarding looks even worse! :D
I can’t wait, only because I get to call him Seabass!
Oh, baby Seabass! So. Cute. Just be sure to keep the worms away and make sure he’s always in the tub.
I’m glad you all are enjoying the “dispatches”! (Now the pressure’s on, though. Not cook. :P)
So.back.the.fuck.off.
Heh, you sound like me when I go to a public skatepark and it’s full of kids who can barely stand up on a board. There’s nothing like coming down from a quarter pipe and running over a kid who drifted down in front of it. I try not to be too much of an asshole and check to see if they are all right before explaining the laws of physics to them (what goes up must come down, so fuckin pay attention). Except for that kid on the bike, handlebars to the ribs hurt like a mothafucka, so I just did a Pronger to his front wheel.
so I just did a Pronger to his front wheel.
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you sound like me when I go to a public skatepark and it’s full of kids who can barely stand up on a board.
Which is why you build a ramp in the backyard, Frisby! Did you ever get going on that?
There’s nothing like coming down from a quarter pipe and running over a kid who drifted down in front of it.
That’s a damn quick way to separate a shoulder.
Frisby, I feel your pain. I really do try to watch out for people, everyone should. But if I sit down to take a breather by the side of the piste, I should not be thanking my lucky stars I’m wearing a harness 30 seconds later. Making sure errant skiers don’t break my ribs is not what I got it for, aye? I’m perfectly capable of fucking myself up, thank you very much.
That’s a damn quick way to separate a shoulder.
Don’t talk to me about shoulder injuries *shudders*
Ooh! Is it time to share shoulder injury stories?
Andrew, have you given thought to the name Ichabod? I think it’s due for a comeback.
Is it time to share shoulder injury stories?
Do they involve popping , tearing, snapping, and crunching sounds? Because if they don’t, you’re not trying hard enough.
As for names, I’m still with Elvendork.
They didn’t at the time, but now do. Second ever rugby game, when I was 14 I got a break away on the wing, and this massive 230 lb kid, maybe more, spear tackled me and landed on top of me. I couldn’t move my arm for the rest of the game. Also couldn’t be subbed out as we had no subs. THEN, I couldn’t go to the doctor because our health insurance didn’t cover that sort of thing. Turns out I tore my ACL and now when I swim, I veer off to the right because my arm doesn’t go all the way around anymore.
Did you ever get going on that?
Unfortunately, I haven’t. To make a long sob story short, I wanted to finish the privacy fence first (both neighbors on each side have one, so I just need to fill in the back), but then Ike had to go and blow off my roof. Insurance covered it but I still had to pay the deductible. Then I got laid off so I didn’t want to spend any extra money. My new job doesn’t pay any where near as well as the old one, and so now I’m on a budget.
I’m perfectly capable of fucking myself up, thank you very much.
True dat, true dat!
As for names, I’m still with Elvendork.
Needs more random E’s – Elvenedorke.
but then Ike had to go and blow off my roof.
Eisenhower was a dick.
Do they involve popping , tearing, snapping, and crunching sounds? Because if they don’t, you’re not trying hard enough.
Ewe *shudder*
I’ve done my share of shoulder blocking the pavement, but nothing like that.
Needs more random E’s – Elvenedorke.
Excellent suggestion!
Ewe *shudder*
‘Swat I’m sayin’. When the Mack Truck (aka Guido) crashed into me and dislocated my shoulder, it was all that, and a stinging, searing pain, which became a burning pain, and then numb release when they drugged me. What I really don’t understand is how I didn’t tear anything. It sounded, and felt, like my arm had been ripped off. But it’s all healed now, just need light support to make sure it stays that way.
Andrew, have you given thought to the name Ichabod?
Sure have! It’s a family name.
Sorry…I’m lying. Twice.
Eisenhower was a dick.
Ha! Seriously!
Unfortunately, I haven’t.
That’s a drag. There are few things in this world as fun as a backyard miniramp.
My sister built a half-pipe ramp in her back yard a few years back. Against the protests of her teenage son and daughter.
“MOM! We don’t care about skateboarding!”
“Too bad! I’m building you a ramp and you’re gonna LIKE IT!”