“Dispatches” “From” “Vancouver” “From” “Chris” “Pronger”

Olympics are fun. I’m kicking ass and taking names because that’s just what I do. But Olympics could be funner. The ice dancers should all wear firebird feathers instead of those stupid “classy” Gold-medal-winning outfits. I’d tell them that, but it’s a fucking tightrope, man. I would love to tell the ski jumpers that they look like idiots in those stupid idiot ski jumper suits, but it’s a fucking ski jump, man. I’d tell those downhill skiers who think they’re such hot shit going so fast down such silly little mountains that those big helmets are theirs are no match for my elbows but I think a few of them learned that the hard way earlier today at the Athlete’s Village. What can I say? It’s a fucking tightrope, man.

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