Our absolute favorite sporting-world insult that we’ve read about in the last calendar year comes from our favorite Olympic sport, cross-country skiing. At some indeterminate time in the last few years (we don’t really have much of a grasp of the timeline of the world of cross-country skiing, needless to say), Norway’s Petter Northug apparently said of an opponent, after beating him out in a sprint, that the guy was “too big to go around, almost half-fat”. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Almost half-fat! It’s genius! Since stumbling across that story on the interwebs, we’ve found countless opportunities to apply it to our lives.
Can you see where this is going?
Our official assessment of Game 3 in this series is that the Devils’ offense was almost half-fat, their defense was almost half-fat, their special teams were almost half-fat, their coaching was almost half-fat. They were almost half-fat. And we’ve come to expect nothing less. Oh, they’re playing again tonight? Faaaaantastic. Or, should we say, almost half-fat-tastic?
So my Frisby bowl picks are almost half-fat?
Lemme check, gunner…
Good news, Ladies! I’m sitting here at home in front of my tv waiting for the game to start!
Yes gunner, your Frisby Bowl picks are DEFINITELY almost half-fat. Heh. (As are mine.)
WOOOOOOOO! Way to be watching the game, Bad-Luck Charm kristin! :P
You’re welcome in advance! I figure this thing is going to 7 games anyhow, so if I cause them to lose another one, it’s no big deal, right?
Hooray, Kristin’s here! We’re gonna win!*
*I don’t actually believe this.
I figure this thing is going to 7 games anyhow
BWAHAHAHAHA! The only way this goes to 7 is if the Flyers insist on winning the series 6-1. :P
Doc’s intro: “Has the Devils’ resolve grown stronger in the last two days?”
Us: “Well, it couldn’t be weaker.”
Game predictions:
-Claudie G scores 14 goals in the first 3 mins of the the 1st
-Carczilla checks Kovalchuck into the boards, Kovalchuck explodes
-Lappy blocks a shot by catching the puck in his teeth/toothless gums
-Gags finds fountain of youth, begins the reverse aging process
-Mike Richards hits puberty, gets 25 assists. Voice drops 3 octaves
-Progs checks Parise, causes earthquake that separates NJ from the continental US
-Teems plays fantastic D, actually gets recognition for his effort
-Hot Carle, Parent and Barts don’t fuck up on every shift.
Bold predictions, Nooie! I’m not sure what to do with that kind of positivity. :P
-Progs checks Parise, causes earthquake that separates NJ from the continental US
There was a moment in the last game that was so perfect in the Pronger/Parise match-up. Pronger lined Zach up, skates in, and then Zach just whirls away with the puck. It was like Pronger completely forgot that Zach is small and wily. Now if only Zach would consider whirling away and the shooting the fucking puck…
I was at the game sunday. I’m still flying high on the good vibes. We’ll see how fast it turns to fuck hell kitten mittens.
Also, good work by ashie to draw one for a change
Now if only Zach would consider whirling away and the shooting the fucking puck…
Don’t be ridiculous! The Devils game plan is to win WITHOUT shooting.
Oh, and:
-Mike Richards hits puberty, gets 25 assists. Voice drops 3 octaves
But then he wouldn’t sound like Beaker from the Muppets! That will never work!
Me, after the Niedermayer penalty: “Rob Niedermayer is the stupidest person on earth.”
Chico, after a bit of PK: “Strangely enough, the team with the most penalties in the last two games has won!”
Long pause.
Pookie: “Well, I guess Rob Niedermayer is a GENIUS.”
I like your new subtitle! :D
Go Devils! (Sorry, kristin.)
I don’t remember when I last heard Doc say “ZZ Pops” but it’s just so giggle-worthy. No grown man (or anyone really) should say that out loud, let alone on broadly local television.
Thanks and thanks, Patty! :D
Pookie: “Well, I guess Rob Niedermayer is a GENIUS.”
Nooie, I like your predictions. Fingers crossed!
I’m glad to see the Devils showed up tonight with a commitment to creating more offensive pressure than in the last game.
with a commitment to creating more offensive pressure than in the last game
I think literally showing up was committing to more offensive pressure than Sunday.
Poor Chico, saying something good about the Devils power play and then has to say “except for that play”
These refs are a fucking JOKE
I think literally showing up was committing to more offensive pressure than Sunday.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Of course, the jury’s still out on whether this qualifies as literally showing up. :P
Poor Chico, saying something good about the Devils power play and then has to say “except for that play”
Chico should know better than to say good things about the Devils power play! He’s been watching it all season!
Poor Chico, saying something good about the Devils power play and then has to say “except for that play”
“And that one. And that one. Oh, and that one.”
I like your new subtitle! :D
Thanks! I liked the “this Devils game smells like a hot dog and I can’t stop smelling it” but it seemed appropriate to change it. Maybe “it’s turtles all the way down” was lucky… Maybe we should change it back… Stupid playoffs.
Have the Devils even scored a 5-on-3 goal this season?
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CLEARLY Kovalchuk is not a real Devil. :P
The Flyers have discovered the Devils weakness. Their game plan is to take penalities all game since the Devils PP won’t score and then will in OT after Marty clocks out.
Uh, Never mind (I feel like Chico). WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Kovy
Scoring on the five on three counts double, right?
Right?
(I feel like Chico)
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Their game plan is to take penalities all game since the Devils PP won’t score and then will in OT after Marty clocks out.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: It’s a great plan! That’s how I would beat the Devils if I was coaching the Flyers!
I hate Detroit SO MUCH!
I hate Detroit SO MUCH!
But Henrik Zetterberg’s beard wants you to love them!
I hate Detroit SO MUCH!
Hee! That sounds very promising! :P
But Henrik Zetterberg’s beard wants you to love them!
Zetterberg’s beard can kiss my ass. :P
What in the FUCK is going on in this game??
Hee! That sounds very promising! :P
I’ve actually been about to type that for a while. It’s unrelated to the score.
Zetterberg’s beard can kiss my ass. :P
Gasp! You just made Zetterberg’s beard break its sixth monocle this week!
Me, to the Devils: “Is this a fucking power play, you jackasses?”
Boomer, speaking as if to a simple child: “No, it’s the last 40 seconds of a period, and where do the Devils play then? They play in their own zone.”
She knows them so much better than I do.
Zetterberg’s beard can kiss my ass. :P
We see Zetterberg’s beard all the time. The magic wore off a long time ago.
(I feel like Chico)
I think Hub and Chico are “kindred spirits”.
Just switched over to the Pens/Sens game and Neil just scored, then shoved a Pen down from behind. What an idiot.
We see Zetterberg’s beard all the time. The magic wore off a long time ago.
Myra, that’s a much more polite way to say it. :D
We see Zetterberg’s beard all the time. The magic wore off a long time ago.
Myra, that’s a much more polite way to say it. :D
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: to both of you!
And Boomer has long believed she and Chico were kindred spirits. I think this season has done a lot to make her less proud of that fact.
Speaking of the Sens, Chris Neil has 2 goals this postseason. Carts, Harts, Danny B and Gags combined have a whopping ZERO…
Carts, Harts, Danny B and Gags combined have a whopping ZERO…
Which one’s Gags again? :P
I don’t like it when they score on little goofie Flower. :(
I hate Detroit SO MUCH!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Patty you rock as a true Stars fan.
Who but the wings would qualify as the Rangers of the West.
It is a great crowd at the Pens/Sens game though.
“Which one’s Gags again? :P”
he’s the one who wears Dornhoffer’s # and plays like he’s the same age.
I don’t understand. I think Chico has one of those short-term memory diseases, where he can’t hold onto new memories. Because (literally) every day he sees the best save/goal/check/play of his life.
Yeah, I was going to say “that one’s Gags”. Heh. (I have no idea what happened on that save.)
greatest save ever. think I’m having a heart attack
“Which one’s Gags again? :P”
he’s the one who wears Dornhoffer’s # and plays like he’s the same age.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: In other words, Simon Gagne. (I have NO IDEA how he didn’t score there. I mean, he’s a Marty Killer! That should be solid gold there! Just weird.)
Because (literally) every day he sees the best save/goal/check/play of his life.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I can’t believe Chico’s living “Memento”!
I really don’t like the Devils making history commercial. They should have gone with a 2003 moment.
I really don’t like the Devils making history commercial. They should have gone with a 2003 moment.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: My vote for the 2003 moment’s “making history” commercial should be for the Ducks. It should show Giguere with the Conn Smythe, and ask what would have happened if the attending media had voted after the game was over, instead of in the second intermission. :P
Jacques’s going to have to bench Green if he keeps playing that competently.
Jacques’s going to have to bench Green if he keeps playing that competently.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: He’s getting around to it. Just give him some time.
It should show Giguere with the Conn Smythe
And then show Marty, in reverse, miming lifting the Stanley Cup. Heh heh heh.
I liked it better when Farts had zero goals. :(
Can’t we call up Sestito Puente to replace The Lesser.
TASTYKAKES!!!
Can’t we call up Sestito Puente to replace The Lesser.
Don’t make me cry. I would take ANYTHING (short of Andrew Peters) over The Lesser.
The Red Wings are a big bunch of octopus poopie heads.
The Red Wings are a big bunch of octopus poopie heads.
That’s the worst thing anyone’s ever said about them!
Elias looks so cute with his playoff beard. It looks like some kid smeared peanut butter in patches all over his face.
I’d say Travis is fired, but I think the Devils have broken me.
I say all the Devils are fired.
The Flyers are a big bunch of Pronger/Carcillo poopie heads.
(That was the worstest thing I could think of that was Flyery.)
The Flyers are a big bunch of Pronger/Carcillo poopie heads.
(That was the worstest thing I could think of that was Flyery.)
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Thanks, Myra. But as far as I’m concerned, it’s not the Flyers that are the problem in this series. Stupid Devils.
(That was the worstest thing I could think of that was Flyery.)
The Flyers are a big bunch of Tastyklairs.
My mother dear knows nothing about hockey or the NHL or any nonsense like that. (She just asked me before if Kovalchuk was going to go in the penalty box to give the Flyers a man advantage since he was hit by another guy.)
She goes to me just now, “Are you sure the Devils are ranked higher? Did they mix them up or do they just not want to win or something?”
I said it before and I’ll say it again. THESE REFS ARE A FUCKING JOKE! I seriously hope they aren’t allowed to call another NHL game after these atrociously called games
Stupid Devils.
The Devils are a bunch of stale Tastyklairs.
The Flyers are a big bunch of Tastyklairs.
BURN!!!
The Flyers are a big bunch of Tastyklairs.
The Devils are a bunch of stale Tastyklairs.
Wow. That is bad.
The Devils are a bunch of stale Tastyklairs.
Wow. That is bad.
Tough break guys! Stupid hockey. :-(
That’s weird. I somehow went UP with my frisby picks. Well, I’m sure that will go the way of the tastykakes, too.
I second Nooie’s observation.
I think the Flyers beat us all the time because they know how much our PP sucks…so they take penalties on purpose ’cause they know we won’t score. Ever.
Well, I’m sure that will go the way of the tastykakes, too.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I’m consoling myself with the knowledge that while there can only be one first-place person, there can also only be one 24th-place person. So that’s an accomplishment, too! ::Looks again at the standings:: D’oh! Frisby’s in 24th place, too! DAMMIT!
Why did I bother watching this game? I could have watched my Red Wing boyfriends instead! :P
(That goal was vintage Marty-vs.-the-Lightning-in-2007, wasn’t it? Or maybe Marty-vs.-the-Senators-in-2007. Either way, very 2007.)
2003 feels so long ago. Sad face.
These are the things I would like to see:
1. Langer stripped of his C.
2. Chico finding something else to talk about other than how much he hates the officiating every time the Devils are losing in a game. I realize he gets paid to say nice things about the Devils, and there’s nothing nice to say about them tonight, but can’t he just talk about the weather or something? All this whining about the officiating is tiresome.
We are a thoroughly beaten team.
Maybe Chico can try out to play Center and/or D?
2003 feels so long ago. Sad face.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Yeah, it was a long time ago. But hey! Not as long ago as 1975, though! Boo-yah! Suck on THAT, Flyers! :P
Sigh.
looks like VS may switch over to the game so I can finally see what everyone has been talking about.
Maybe Chico can try out to play Center and/or D?
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: He can’t be worse than whatever the Devils are using already!
I could have watched my Red Wing boyfriends instead! :P
Maybe you’re jinxing the Devils by liking the Red Wings. :D
Sorry about the game, though. :(
This is so horrible, but hey, last time we faced Boucher and the Flyers we went 3-1 down in the series and magic happened, so there’s that.
Also, best trash talking in sport comes from cricket: ‘McGrath was bowling to Zimbabwe’s tail-ender and getting frustrated that Brandes was consistently playing and missing. He wandered down the pitch and asked: “Brandes, why are you so fat?” Instantly, Brandes replied: “Because every time I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit.”
Instantly, Brandes replied: “Because every time I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That’s classic!
looks like VS may switch over to the game so I can finally see what everyone has been talking about.
HAHAHAHA! You’re in for a real treat! :P
He wandered down the pitch and asked: “Brandes, why are you so fat?” Instantly, Brandes replied: “Because every time I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit.”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That is AWESOME!
Yea, as bad as the officiating has been, Devils still have no excuse. They could have scored on the all freebies they were handed…but nope. Flyers have taken advantage of it, that’s for sure. It’s like the Devils don’t even want this series. :(
It’s like the Devils don’t even want this series.
Ahhh, if I had a dime for every time I’ve said that in the last few years…
nope, false alarm. VS only showed the goal “highlights” of the Devils game and now the Chicago game is on.
I’m going to game 5, I don’t know if I can take the heartbreak. Is this something I should get used to being a Devils fan?
Is this something I should get used to being a Devils fan?
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you. :D
Sorry guys. I fell asleep for the second period, so maybe it’s my fault.
Damn you, kristin! I should have known this was all on you!
Damn. I guess I’m just masochistic or something. Actually, I should have seen this coming. I got into the Devils somewhere around March of last year. Just when I got really super duper excited about hockey…they handed the playoff round to Carolina. Somehow, I still ended up picking them as “my” team. What is wrong with me? XD
;)
I’m not sure if I’d rather have hot monkey sex with Alison Brie or watch this game again. It’s seriously a coin toss.
Somehow, I still ended up picking them as “my” team. What is wrong with me? XD
Yeah, that’s the problem with being a real sports fan — your team chooses you, not the other way around.
Oof, Saki, you’re really doing the baptism by fire, aren’t you? (We became Devils fans the year after they missed the playoffs as Cup champs. It only took three years of playoff flameouts before we saw them win the Cup, so just hang on for a little bit longer… :P)
Instantly, Brandes replied: “Because every time I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit.”
SNORT! Which begs the question, who’s wife is giving Luongo his biscuits? Just sayin’.
Which begs the question, who’s wife is giving Luongo his biscuits? Just sayin’.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I think Pando needs to get back in the lineup. As Doc always reminds us he is the least penalized player in the history of the playoffs.
No matter how disgraceful the Flyers gameplan is, it is genius. Their coaching staff actually watched tape of the Devils. Anyone who watches the Devils regularly knows that there are hardly any whistles and there is good flow. This whole series has been the polar opposite.
When it starts to have flow (the first period tonight) they do everything to slow the game down. The Flyers have better special teams (both PP and PK) so their advantage is to take 8 penalties a game, dive like crazy to draw at least 5 penalties. Odds are they score more PP goals and win. The first 4 games in a nutshell.
ted5th, you are so right. My father (who only picked up on this hockey thing about midway through this season) said the EXACT same thing. (just in different words) He observed that every time the Devils get a play going, the Flyers take or draw a penalty to stop them. They know our PP sucks…I’ve often wondered if teams would take a penalty JUST to put us on the PP. Guess I was right…
Saki and Ted,
I’ve been playing (roller) hockey in leagues since I was a tyke. There isn’t a coach in the world who would go a man down for 2 just to break the flow of the game. The Devs have been out played at even strength this whole series (forgive me, Pook and Schnook) for some reason the Flyers just have the Devs number this season. What the Devs need to do is let Kovalsuck walk and sign another Scott “the Lindros destroyer” Stevens. all those goals we get down low near the crease wouldn’t happen if they had a tough to clear the porch.
and sign another Scott “the Lindros destroyer” Stevens
Yeah, those guys are SO easy to find. It’s like they grow on trees! :P
I agree with that sentiment about our Defense, too, Nooie. Seriously, Mottau just sits there like a Traffic Cone…(that’s his nickname on another site I frequent). I still think there’s something fishy about all those penalties the Flyers take. I think they have a plan, and part of it is that one of the Devils weaknesses is the PP.
The Devs have been out played at even strength this whole series (forgive me, Pook and Schnook)
Oh, and no need to ask forgiveness on that front. You’re just calling a spade a spade! :D
for some reason the Flyers just have the Devs number this season
I’m not going to deny that, but given the recent playoff history of the Devils, at this point I think it’s less important who they’re playing and more important why this team can’t get up for the playoffs.
Oh, and no need to ask forgiveness on that front. You’re just calling a spade a spade! :D
Yeah, no kidding! Unless you’re apologizing for not being hard enough on the Devils. Which, in that case, apology accepted! :D
Yeah, those guys are SO easy to find. It’s like they grow on trees! :P
Well considering we got Prongs the field is definitely smaller but Chara would fit the bill
Not like the Flyers are trying to go down a man intentionally but they play on the edge. The league has decided to call more penalties than they did in the regular season. The result favors the Flyers’ game. Their fans hoot and holler and the Flyers dive (especially Daniel “Sketchy child molester mustache” Carcillo) and the refs make calls.
The NHL needs to enforce the embellishment rule, or this series is what you get. Slow with no flow, no skill needed, and special teams.
I still think there’s something fishy about all those penalties the Flyers take. I think they have a plan, and part of it is that one of the Devils weaknesses is the PP.
That….that’s been their entire hockey philosophy since the 70′s, no? I don’t think it’s that fishy.
You’re just calling a spade a spade!
You’re lucky Weekes and Oduya aren’t on the team anymore, else that be taken as horribly racist.
We turned off the game midway through the third period (Walker, Texas Ranger beckoned — and is MUCH better than the Devils, might I add… :P), and haven’t really been discussing it much here. So Pookie and I just mentioned that you guys were talking about what’s wrong with the Devils in the series, and Boomer said, “Everything. That’s what’s wrong with them.” Pause. “No, what’s wrong with them is that they didn’t fall out of the playoffs.” Heh.
They shoulda let Buffalo win on April 11th. XD
I think they have a plan, and part of it is that one of the Devils weaknesses is the PP.
Timonen definitely did that when we were on the PP at one point in order to stop a breakaway, but other then that and Richies hooking call I’d say the rest were just sloppy play.
I’m blaming this all on the Rangers for bitching out of their last game.
You’re lucky Weekes and Oduya aren’t on the team anymore, else that be taken as horribly racist.
Laughed fucking hard.
but yeah you guys could use “Oh do ya?” back
I don’t think Oduya would have made much of a difference. I mean, it’s not like Oduya on the blueline is the difference between Parise, Langenbrunner, and Elias playing like they are now and playing with even the smallest bit of hunger and pride.
I hate the Flyers way more than the Rangers, so sometimes, me too, Tim!
On this depressing note. Goodnight all! :)
Oh, hello Mr. Vino, you’ll make the bad day go away.
Goodnight, Saki.
Tim, you’ve got the right idea! I had my wine before the game, so now I’m settling into sad drunk phase. Heh.
Ok. I know I said goodnight, but…I had to say, I unfortunately, did not invite Mr. Vino to my house tonight. I go to bed sad all on my own. ;) and I really am going to bed now…I’m not going to watch any more hockey…(or so I tell myself until I find another game to watch) Catch ya later!
okay, this (http://blogs.buffalonews.com/sabres/2010/04/sabres-call-up-mccormick.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+typepad%2Fbuffalonews%2Fsabres+%28Sabres+Edge%29) is FUCK HELL KITTEN MITTENS
Oh dear God, someone tell me this is an elaborate joke. Please.
Goshdarndiddlydoo, I set my DVR wrong. I recorded Devils vs Flyers when I should have set Chicago vs Nashville.
I actually had hope yesterday, you know? You’d think I would’ve learned by now, but I was like, nah, they’ve gotta be hungry for this right? They could totally win. And then the Kovalchuk PP goal. I think they did the whole thing just to teach us all a lesson — never, and they mean NEVER, have any hope that they will follow through and finish anything.
I recorded Devils vs Flyers when I should have set Chicago vs Nashville.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: So true, so true. I set my DVR wrong too — I should have set it to turn on my DVD player to show some more “Walker Texas Ranger”. Yeah, Devils, that’s right, you heard me!
wraparounddostres, I also had hope. I decided the whole “it’s a bad match-up” wasn’t as important a factor as the whole “I’ve watched the Flyers closely as season long and they’re a terrible, terrible team with a bad goalie” thing. Sigh.
I decided the whole “it’s a bad match-up” wasn’t as important a factor as the whole “I’ve watched the Flyers closely as season long and they’re a terrible, terrible team with a bad goalie” thing.
I was feeling the same way, but then, the day of Game 1, I had a very vivid flashback to how the Devils (and Marty in particular) have played in the last few playoffs. And I realized it doesn’t matter who they’re playing, it doesn’t matter how badly that other team also plays, and it doesn’t matter where they’re playing. They’re not going to win. I am beginning to suspect that as soon as the regular season ends, they all think it’s the preseason again.
And good morning, everybody!
And I realized it doesn’t matter who they’re playing, it doesn’t matter how badly that other team also plays, and it doesn’t matter where they’re playing. They’re not going to win.
Well, I know that now, that’s for sure. Something is just seriously wrong about this team. Other than the totally realistic solution of going out and getting another Scott Stevens (::eyeroll::), I don’t know what to suggest. I don’t want to be one of those people who puts too much stock in the captaincy, but I gotta say, starting with stripping Langer of the C and giving it back to Elias doesn’t seem like a bad move. With every passing day I see Zach picking up more and more of Langer’s petulant attitude (that whole “the fans shouldn’t boo the PP” thing was vintage late-era Langer) and it’s scaring me. Zach needs a little more Hugs and a little less Fuck, This Is Shit.
Zach needs a little more Hugs and a little less Fuck, This Is Shit.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Hey! Maybe we could coax Scotty out of retirement! Even decrepit and old, he’d probably be better than most of the Devils have been in this series! (Can you even imagine Langer calling Sykora out like in ’02? He’d be all like, “Oh, exaggerating an injury? That’s a GREAT idea!”)
As for Zach’s petulance, I think next time he complains about the fans booing the PP, I’ll send him a letter explaining it wasn’t the PP, per se, that I was booing, but rather, it was him specifically. :P
HAHAHAHAHA to both the hysterical concept of Langer calling anyone out for dogging it and poor Zach getting such an upsetting letter!
Honestly, regarding the whole violently stripping off Langer’s C, (yes, violenting, it’s more dramatic that way) I think it’s the way to go. People are talking getting rid of Lemaire, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. Give him another season.
Langer, however, is crap. There was a good two days where I was like, yeah! Langer’s gonna be a great captain. But, no, no he’s not.
More captainly hugs might be just what the team needs. Secretly, though, I’d like to see Travis be captain.
I can just see Zach getting a letter like that. “I say, Boxworthy, this fan loves me!” Boxworthy’s all, “No, sir, I believe the letter says the opposite.” And Zach would be all, “No, I’m fairly confident that’s not the case. This fan clearly loves me. Are you suggesting I can’t read, man?” He’s got quite the built-in defense mechanism.
(yes, violenting, it’s more dramatic that way)
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I can just see the expression he’d have on his face — it would be a lot like when his shorts are on fire.
I can’t really agree with the idea that Lemaire’s entirely to blame for this (shocking, considering how I felt about his hiring in the first place), although this has looked a lot like all the playoff losses we sat through last time around…
And Travis would be the cutest captain! Captain Acorns would lead singalongs, and they’d have wholesome snacks after every practice, and he’d be so apologetic every time he had to talk to the officials, and he would never, ever be able to understand why Langer hates him now. :D
Captain Acorns would lead singalongs, and they’d have wholesome snacks after every practice, and he’d be so apologetic every time he had to talk to the officials
For real! We tried out the whole…captain who doesn’t give a shit about everything and just runs around and pouts all the time, (seriously, is that just the way his face is? or does he constantly think he’s in a photoshoot for romance novel covers?) so I think it’s time for a Captain who leads singalongs and (fuck you Tastykakes) rewards every goal with a freshly baked cupcake.
As for Zach’s petulance, I think next time he complains about the fans booing the PP, I’ll send him a letter explaining it wasn’t the PP, per se, that I was booing, but rather, it was him specifically. :P
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH
I’d be willing to give Captain Acorns a go.
Captain who leads singalongs and (fuck you Tastykakes) rewards every goal with a freshly baked cupcake.
But wouldn’t that many cupcakes cause the Devils to go from half fat to full fat over the course of a season?
But wouldn’t that many cupcakes cause the Devils to go from half fat to full fat over the course of a season?
Never! Travis is well aware of the dangers of too much sugar and butter. He would make bran cup-cakes with Nutella frosting and sprinklings of fiber supplement. They would most certainly stay only half fat…two-thirds fat at the most.
Conversation at our house last night:
Me: Why did I pick the Devils to win the whole thing??? What was I thinking?
Hub: Because you spent all of three minutes on your picks and you weren’t….thinking.
Can you feel the love???
I dropped from 3rd to 17th in Frisby Bowl. Stupid Devils, Hawks and Coyotes. The cute teams are supposed to win, aren’t they?
But wouldn’t that many cupcakes cause the Devils to go from half fat to full fat over the course of a season?
They would most certainly stay only half fat…two-thirds fat at the most.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: We have to remember that Travis is a Waldorf kid. His idea of a cupcake is everyone else’s idea of, like, raw celery sticks.
Myra, :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: And honestly, why DID you pick the Devils to win it all? Was that, like, a typo or something? :P
The cute teams are supposed to win, aren’t they?
Man, I wish. :(
I’m just going to plead temporary insanity. I really don’t know why. I was going to go with the Hawks but then at the last minute I changed it. Now it looks like neither were good choices.
How about that SJ/CO series? They seem to be pretty evenly matched.
His idea of a cupcake is everyone else’s idea of, like, raw celery sticks.
Travis is NJ’s Crunchy? Whoa…
Never! Travis is well aware of the dangers of too much sugar and butter. He would make bran cup-cakes with Nutella frosting and sprinklings of fiber supplement. They would most certainly stay only half fat…two-thirds fat at the most.
That sounds like a great way to keep the Devils from ever scoring again. Those should be punishments for shitty special teamings and losses. Even if they do have nutella.
Hub: Because you spent all of three minutes on your picks and you weren’t….thinking.
Can you feel the love???
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I picked them to win this series, too, Myra. My Frisby Bowl picks are a monument to how much the Devils hate me.
So how ’bout them Devils. Itch. Itch. Scratch. Scratch.
So how ’bout them Devils. Itch. Itch. Scratch. Scratch.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I think I’m going to try to get a doctor’s note to get out of watching them from now on, too. :P
Poor Morgan.
Thanks Myra! After whhat Dave and y’all been through that means a lot.
I just got in work from an appointment at the NYU skin care center. I broke out again on Monday night and I am at wit’s end with this one. I am officially fascinating now as five doctors took a look at me today.
Bottom line is if I could take steroid drugs (which I can’t ’cause they would damage the shoulder graft) I would either clear up quickly or at least not break out again/so severely. Since I can’t, I am going on tetricycline, since that’s what they used for this stuff before the much more effective steroid drugs were invented… in like 1960.
Sigh.
We can just end the Frisby Bowl right now, right?
Since I can’t, I am going on tetricycline, since that’s what they used for this stuff before the much more effective steroid drugs were invented… in like 1960.
Sorry, Morgan — no modern medicine for you! (At least it’s not, like, leeches, right? :P)
We can just end the Frisby Bowl right now, right?
I’m in favor of ending it now! Heh.
Bonne chance Morgan, but watch out. Franklin the puppet said something about the patient being allergic to tetracycline, and I think racist black puppets should always be trusted. Always.
Morgan, you can’t even do the steroid suaves? Grace had a bad reaction to something as a wee one and it went on for 3 weeks. Nasty stuff. They gave us this steroid cream (hey now) that cleared it up in a couple of days.
(I was going to make some joke regarding her development but I just can’t make jokes like that about my baby girl… who is as tall as me now.)
(I was going to make some joke regarding her development but I just can’t make jokes like that about my baby girl… who is as tall as me now.)
…thanks to the steroid cream. Stupid steroids, making giant babies.
I am officially fascinating now as five doctors took a look at me today.
I’ve been there. My one doctor was once affiliated with a teaching hospital. For one office visit, we had him, his resident, his intern and a med student all in the exam room with me. While my doc did get my permission before allowing the cast of thousands to invade the room, I did ask afterward if he was sure there wasn’t a secretary or random passerby he wanted to include.
I’ve been there. My one doctor was once affiliated with a teaching hospital. For one office visit, we had him, his resident, his intern and a med student all in the exam room with me. While my doc did get my permission before allowing the cast of thousands to invade the room, I did ask afterward if he was sure there wasn’t a secretary or random passerby he wanted to include.
Did they bring the machine that goes PING?
I’m such a hard-working procrastinator. I’m procrastinating an essay on The Life of Brian AND a visit to the heath centre over my hurty collarbone.
::head pops in::
God damn it, THEY SUCK!
::head pops out::
Hi guys! Made a big faux pas today. I met someone from Texas and asked them if they cheer for the Dallas North Stars.
Ah boo.
Sorry patty (from dallas) – I feel ashamed.
Also, Patty you may know her! Her name is Bea and she’s kinda near Dallas! She has 2 bulldogs – Gus and Abby. I’m sure you know her. :-p
Yikes. I think I just may not be invited back to this blog after this comment.
My apologies in advance.
I met someone from Texas and asked them if they cheer for the Dallas North Stars.
Gaaaaaaaaasp! For shame, Carol! :P (I bet Patty and Bea are BFFs… :D)
How’s everyone doing this evening? I’ve just settled down with dinner after a busy afternoon. How are the games going?
Don’t know if you heard the news yet but both Carts and Gags are out for the rest of the playoffs…
I did hear that about Gagne and Farts. That’s a bummer, because it further supports my belief that all the Devils are doing right now is paving a simpler path to the ECF for the stupid Caps. :(
I actually have a secret girly crush on the Capitals. The whole team. I don’t know why, though.
(So the way my world sees it: If the Devils aren’t going to do shit to, you know, win, then the least they can do is take out some key players for my boyfriends.)
I actually have a secret girly crush on the Capitals. The whole team. I don’t know why, though.
I’m sorry, you’re going to have to leave now. :PPPPPPPPPPP
I actually have a secret girly crush on the Capitals. The whole team. I don’t know why, though.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! That’s DISGUSTING!!!! You’re BANNED!!!!!! :P
(Um, because the Flyers are my boyfriends? Welcome to my glass house! Come on in, make yourself at home! :D)
Um, because the Flyers are my boyfriends?
I don’t think I would’ve been able to admit that and live with myself afterward if I hadn’t known that. ;) So yes, I got drunk in Vegas and got married to the Caps. I’ll forever pretend that I’m too lazy to just get it annulled, but truly, it’s because it’s love.
I’m gonna have to have a serious look into the other teams in the playoffs after the Devils get knocked out to find who to root for.
And by other teams, I mean other teams’ ice dancers.
And by other teams, I mean other teams’ ice dancers.
As someone who’s cheering for the Wings because of Henrik Zetterberg, I say, “Great approach!”
And by other teams, I mean other teams’ ice dancers.
I’m sorry to hear that you won’t be able to consider the Sabres if they make it into the second round. We don’t have any ice dancers / shovel girls / team tramps.
The Sabres are 1-0 when I don’t watch and 0-2 when I watch, so I did my part by taking a nap. I just woke up and turned the tv on… to see the Bruins fucking score. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I’m that much of a fucking jinx. Fuck that. I’m watching Mercy. Fuck you, Sabres. See you in October, asshats.
So yes, I got drunk in Vegas and got married to the Caps. I’ll forever pretend that I’m too lazy to just get it annulled, but truly, it’s because it’s love.
It’s terrible how that happens, isn’t it? :P
And by other teams, I mean other teams’ ice dancers.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That’s kind of all we have left after the Devils lose. How do the other teams’ aesthetics rate?
I’m sorry to hear that you won’t be able to consider the Sabres if they make it into the second round. We don’t have any ice dancers / shovel girls / team tramps.
Don’t forget your off-putting chest slugs!
wraparounddostres, I tried to bring everyone around to Brooks Laich and Mike Green, but these people will have none of it.
Shit. Fuck. Hell. Crunchy Kitten Mittens.
That one wasn’t my fault, Amy. I changed the channel.
After weighing the options, the Preds have two (two!) separate scanty lady teams, the Kings have the best uniforms but have men, and the Bruins have the prettiest ladies. Go Bruins.
Oh dear God, Harry.
I’m pretty sure that during that second intermission the Sabres got together and decided that coming back from a 2-1 series deficit wasn’t style enough for them. They’re so fly they need to come back from 3-1 so that everyone’s all, “Damn! Those Sabres are determined. They’ll go down in history!”
Also, mcguffers, Brooks Laich is awesome. They’re missing out. (Props to Green to, but I’m more partial to Laich.)
I tried to bring everyone around to Brooks Laich and Mike Green, but these people will have none of it.
Dude, that’s because you’re talking about MIKE GREEN. ::throws up. ON THE GROUND::
Shit. Fuck. Hell. Crunchy Kitten Mittens.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: And also, OUCH. This sucks.
And Tim, I’m glad you explained your scientific method before announcing you were cheering for the Bruins. :D
Oh fuck you, Tim. Now I’m directing all my wrath for this series towards you.
(Hmm, fuck you may have been a little strong. Fork you, Tim.)
Oh fuck you, Tim.
Yes please! *Austin Powers face*
And Tim, I’m glad you explained your scientific method before announcing you were cheering for the Bruins. :D
Teachers always told me to show my work. Nashville’s ladies all look like in 5 years they’ll be wearing too much makeup, having beehive hairdos and hitting on truckers in sleazy southern diners. Every last one.
I’m looking at this in a positive light. At least I have an edge over everyone that put the Sabres high up in the Frisby Bowl. Suckers!!!
Also, Patty you may know her! Her name is Bea and she’s kinda near Dallas! She has 2 bulldogs – Gus and Abby. I’m sure you know her. :-p
OMG! You met Bea!?! Small world! :P
Teachers always told me to show my work.
:^::::::::::::::::::
OMG! You met Bea!?! Small world! :P
She’s your next door neighbor, right?
Schnookie, we are impressed with your gift of prophesy — that the Devils would trail three games to one in this series. We should have confidence that the rest of your prediction will come true — that the Devils will win in seven.
Schnookie, we are impressed with your gift of prophesy — that the Devils would trail three games to one in this series.
I called that? Huh. I have no recollection of saying that! Heh. Well, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I CALLED IT!!! ME SO SMRT! :D
All my favorite playoff teams are trying to kill me.
It’s a CONSPIRACY!
I actually have a secret girly crush on the Capitals. The whole team. I don’t know why, though.
So THAT’S the line not to cross. Thankfully I’m no where near it. Stinkin’ Caps.
The biggest surprise in this series has been that the Flyers have been relatively well behaved (for them). Usually, they are a bunch of goonish thugs.
Holy shit. Double overtime?!??
Both the Sabres and Bruins are exhausted, the two man ice crew can’t keep up with the snow on the ice, it’s in SD, and my contacts are dirty. Basically this game looks like I’m on acid. Bring on another overtime! (as if I was going to be able to avoid watching the whole game…)
Basically this game looks like I’m on acid. Bring on another overtime!
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Did RJ really just say Ennis is “nipple high” to Chara? Just checking.
FUCK HELL KITTEN MITTENS!!!!
I never thought for a minute the Canucks would take a shellacking like this from LA. GAH!
Also, we can’t see the other game. Canucks preempted it – and it’s not on any other channels. Weird. I’m checking nhl.com for info!
Did RJ really just say Ennis is “nipple high” to Chara? Just checking.
Yes, yes he did.
Harry Neale also said: “when in doubt, pull it out.”
Everyone: “That’s what she said.”
Harry Neale also said: “when in doubt, pull it out.”
AHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
They are both on Versus, Carol. We still have Boston/Buffalo in double OT.
SONOFABITCH
Fuck hell too many men on the ice mittens.
I hate hockey.
I’m so sorry, guys.
Like I said. They are all trying to kill me.
Definite conspiracy.
Crunchy tried really hard.
Fuck hell too many men on the ice mittens.
:^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: I’m laughing with sympathy, though. That’s terrible.
I never thought for a minute the Canucks would take a shellacking like this from LA. GAH!
These playoffs suck, don’t they?
These playoffs really do suck.
And my team is not even in them.
These playoffs suck, don’t they?
Word.
And who the hell is McCormick?
These playoffs really do suck.
They suck so much that I am thisclose to firing the Blackhawks as my Western Conference boyfriends EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE PATRICK SHARP.
At least the Kings are looking like they may be worthy of my attentions. (Um, sorry Carol and Alix. They made me do it.)
I don’t want anyone to win. Why couldn’t the lock out have been this year?
I don’t want anyone to win. Why couldn’t the lock out have been this year?
I also don’t want anyone to win. I saw it coming a long way off, too. I’ve been… kinda checked out for the last few months. Stupid hockey. (Last time this happened to me, there was a lockout!)
I was going to watch the Kings game to cheer me up, but I don’t think my nerves can handle watching a team that can manage to score on the PP.
Whaaaa?? You’re supposed to score on the PP?? Since when??
Schnookie, I’ve been totally checked out. I don’t think I’ve seen a full game since January. I just start realizing somewhere in the second period that I don’t like these guys very much sometimes.
but I don’t think my nerves can handle watching a team that can manage to score on the PP.
Wait, such a thing exists????? I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!
I just start realizing somewhere in the second period that I don’t like these guys very much sometimes.
That is such a bummer. It’s happened to me with the Devils starting in February each of the last four years. :P (As soon as the Devils lose out, though, IPB’s becoming a “Walker, Texas Ranger” blog! WOOOOOOOOOOOO! Heh.)
I just start realizing somewhere in the second period that I don’t like these guys very much sometimes.
That is exactly how I’ve felt about the Devils this year. Here’s hoping next season is better!
Here’s hoping next season is better!
That’s the joy of being a sports fan — I ALWAYS believe that’s going to happen! :D
Thank goodness Deadliest Warrior has started, I’ve got something awesome to watch.
Someone would make fun of me for watching “Walker, Texas Ranger”, but: the FW courthouse is always worth seeing on TV, the bad guys always get beat up, and was fun to see if you can tell where in DFW they are filming.
and was fun to see if you can tell where in DFW they are filming.
Having spent a grand total of one week in that part of the world, we love shouting at every scene, “I’ve been there!” Boomer has stopped believing us. :D
I never thought for a minute the Canucks would take a shellacking like this from LA. GAH!
Yumm….my words are so…salty and delicious! Canucks won! Henrik for Captain!
Fuck hell too many men on the ice mittens.
Hee. Staffy’s going to have to watch his back for awhile.
Is there room on the My Team is Down 3-1 Bandwagon I have snacks…
Yumm….my words are so…salty and delicious!
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Huzzah! Hooray for having something to cheer about!
Is there room on the My Team is Down 3-1 Bandwagon I have snacks…
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Well I do love snacks! Welcome aboard!
I have come to the realization that no, it doesn’t really suck that the Devils are going to lose tonight. It’s like a warm little comforting hug. Hockey season cannot be considered complete unless the Devils have an epic flame out and make me hate them. Not a lot though. Only enough that I’ll be miffed over the summer, but forget about it by the time preseason rolls around.
They’ve perfected the whole…make your fans just angry enough to want to pay attention to what happens with your lineup/staff over the summer, but not angry enough that they won’t support you again once the next season comes. They’re not a bunch of chokers. They’re diabolical geniuses!
They’ve perfected the whole…make your fans just angry enough to want to pay attention to what happens with your lineup/staff over the summer, but not angry enough that they won’t support you again once the next season comes.
That’s so true! They ARE geniuses! It’s like they’ve got it all figured out…
I was really sure the Sabres would take the first round. This is too depressing.
Happy Devils Elimination Day everybody! Bottles of Maalox and “Groundhog Day” on Blue Ray for everyone!
I’m so sorry, Kathleen. I know how that feels… all too well. :(
Happy Devils Elimination Day everybody! Bottles of Maalox and “Groundhog Day” on Blue Ray for everyone!
HAHAHAHA! It totally is an annual holiday! WOO HOOO!!! ::Tosses elimination confetti::
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Elimination Day is kind of like Thanksgiving for the US and Canada. We’re celebrating it later. A day later.
But anyways, it’s sunny and my laptop got scanned on a Fedex truck at 7:45am in West Henrietta, which is 20 minutes from my dad’s house! I won’t get it until I go to Rochester tomorrow, but still! I won’t have to use this Speak-n-Spell anymore!!
I decided I’m celebrating Elimination Day with ice cream and popcorn. Maybe even chicken fingers. What better way to watch a flame out than with great munchies?
Elimination Day is kind of like Thanksgiving for the US and Canada. We’re celebrating it later. A day later.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: That’s so weird, seeing how other cultures observe Elimination Day. :P
And WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! for the laptop!!! How exciting! New electronics rawk! We got a new zoomy lens for our camera yesterday (and a new camera, but I haven’t had a chance to really try it yet, because it needs various accessories we neglected to get with it), so I was all excited to use it on my walk to work this morning. So I got up super-early, and accoutered myself for my walk, and got out the camera with the zoomy lens, stepped outside… and it was IMPOSSIBLY foggy. There was no use for a zoomy lens, because visibility was no better than 30 feet. And that’s my story.
Oh, and I want ice cream and popcorn and chicken fingers!
I’m celebrating elimination day at The Rock. :D In the Fire Lounge, there are chicken fingers, pretzels, desserts and plenty of beer for the occassion! WOOO!
(and just maybe, it won’t really be elimination day? Please?) :(
After reading Puck Daddy’s post about Lou’s jelly toss, I’m genuinely curious as to what was on the Devils postgame spread that required jelly.
Mmmmmmmmmm… Fire Lounge chicken fingers… That would help keep my mind off the sucky hockey!
There is more than enough food in the Fire Lounge to keep one’s mind off of sucky hockey. Ever had the cupcakes? I’m drooling just thinking about it…
Amy, if I were Lou, I’d have thrown more than jelly jars at the wall. Maybe that’ll wake em up! (Since we’re all in agreement that setting Langers’ shorts on fire wouldn’t help)
If it was a Canadian team, I’d say they were putting jelly on french fries. They put everything on french fries.
There was no use for a zoomy lens, because visibility was no better than 30 feet.
That sucks! With my luck, there’ll be rioting in Buffalo to celebrate Elimination Day (as observed in Montreal and WNY) which will knock out cable everywhere so I won’t be able to use my shiny new laptop on the internet.
Of course, I get to work on Elimination Day. I always forget to request the holidays off. Hopefully it won’t be like Christmas where everyone comes in and says, “It sucks you guys have to work on Christmas [Elimination Day]but we’re glad you’re open!”
I’m genuinely curious as to what was on the Devils postgame spread that required jelly
Dude! Me too! I was wondering what they could possibly want post-game that would require jelly. I mean…what do you put jelly on? Toast? Do you think the Flyers went through the effort to not only get bread but toast it?
If it was a Canadian team, I’d say they were putting jelly on french fries. They put everything on french fries.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: They’d mix the jelly with gravy, of course.
“It sucks you guys have to work on Christmas [Elimination Day]but we’re glad you’re open!”
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Elimination Day’s a tricky one, because sometimes you just don’t see it coming. :P
The jelly was there for filling Marty’s custom made honey’d dormice donuts.
Woooo!!! I’ve been obsessively checking the tracking number for my laptop, so when it said delivered at 2:37, I called dad.
Dad: “Hello?”
Me: “Hey Dad! Can you check the front door? My laptop was delivered 3 minutes ago.”
Dad: (confused) “Uh, sure…” (30 seconds later) “How did you do that?”
Me: “Fedex website.”
Dad: “Technology is amazing.”
And my glasses are ready to be picked up. I’ve got all the tools to completely nerd out for finals. This is the best Elimination Day eve ever!! Bring on the chicken fingers, honey’d dormice donuts, and jelly gravy covered fries!!
(Excuse this sudden outburst of hope, really. The faint of heart need not read further.)
But, I mean, mcguffers got her laptop today. That’s a good thing right? And her glasses are ready? And we all have intentions of eating awesome food? And, Notre Dame stopped being a bunch of douchebags and mailed out my financial aid today! ALL GOOD THINGS.
Could this be…dare I say it? A sign of good things, a victory even? A comeback?
For Elimination Day I shall be dining in on….fajitas and pineapple soda because I drank all the wine, I’ve no money for beer and didn’t have the foresight to brew my own prison plonk. Ugh.
Could this be…dare I say it? A sign of good things, a victory even? A comeback?
I smell blood in the water! I’m gonna go lift my kilt at orange things! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!